Yang Xiao Long VS Josuke Higashikata is a What-if? episode of Death Battle.
| Yang vs Josuke | |
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| Season unknown, Episode unknown | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | Unknown |
| Written by | Mrporoto |
| Directed by | Unknown |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Unknown | Unknown |
Description[]
The Brawl of the Brolic Golden Spirited Hair Fanatics!
Interlude[]
Wiz: There are some people who tend to have the bizarre habit of valuing an object above their own life. And then, there are people who have the even MORE bizarre habit of valuing THEIR hair above their own lives!
Boomstick: There are people out there really dumb enough to care THAT much about their hair? I mean, it's just hair! It'll grow back!
Wiz: Why yes! There ARE such people actually. Like Yang Xiao Long, the adventurous huntress from RWBY...
Boomstick: ...and Josuke Higa.....higaaaa...shi....uuugh.....let's just call him JoJo, the protector of Morioh. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Yang[]
Wiz: In the entirety of the realm of fiction, few places can stand up to the fearsome and hostile nature of the world of Remnant. A land filled with strange soulless, ravines monsters called Grim, and a terrorist group formed by Animal People known as the Faunas, called The White Fang.
Boomstick: Oh c'mon! A world filled with weapons, monsters and super powers? Makes the words fearsome and Hostile sound more like a little nuisance than a big deal.
Wiz: Anyway....luckly for those living in Remnant, there are people in charge of keeping these very threats in line. Like the hunters and huntresses, a highly trained group of warriors.
Boomstick: But the thing is that those warriors are not trained in any normal military academy, right?
Wiz:No! They are trained in a prestigious school known as Beacon.
Boomstick: But for entering there you need a shit load of talent and potential!
Wiz: Luckily, talent and potential are perfect words for describing one its students, Yang Xiao Long.
Boomstick: Born from two hunters the fate of Yang seemed to be predestined.
Wiz: At the age of 17, Yang entered The Beacon academy in order to become what her parents devoted their life for.
Boomstick: Because following your parents path is always easier than creating your own.
Wiz: Anyway, it did not took Yang very long to fit, and after a very short period of time she found herself being a member of team RWBY. A colored themed team.
Boomstick: And if Yang did not take her time for fitting, it took her even less for being known as a Golden Haired punching machine!
Wiz: Yes, while some students at Beacon fight with swords or other kind of weapon, Yang is not afraid of getting her hands diry, somehow.
Boomstick: Of course she does... With her Shotgun-Gauntles! Oh man... The weapon that every boxing-farmer dreams to have...
Wiz: Those gauntlets are known as the Ember Celica, this particular gauntlet gives Yang the characteristic of firing an array of shiny,concussive and powerful projectiles. Those can produce high damage on their foes, and, even if it is serveral feet.
Boomstick: Not only that! With the ember celica can do mid air jumps.
Wiz: Also she can use them for cutting the distance with her foes, giving her and edge in versatility. But Ember Celica main purpose is...
Boomstick: PUNCHING!
Wiz:But having an interesting and useful weapon is not enough for someone like Yang, you see, Hunters are also known for being able to manifest their soul into Aura. Aura is an energy used for blocking attacks and heal wounds.
Boomstick: But thats not the limit of what Aura can do! It also gives Yang the way of becoming a Super Saiyan!!
Wiz: Hunters have something called semblance a power that gives its user special power unique to them.
Boomstick: Yang's Semblance absorbs damage from the punishment she takes, adding them to her own physical power.
Wiz: Having such powers and being the daughter of two highly trained Hunters it wasnt a surprise that Yang matched the expectations. Yang combat prowess was good enough to defeat the entire Junior Gang.
Boomstick: Not only that! She was the main factor when her group defeated team ABRN in the Vytal Festival.
Wiz: Adding to that, Her skills were good enough for defeat Neon and Flynt in a 2 on 2 battle while her companion was down. She was even able to beat Mercury Black, a highly trained assassin.
Boomstick: You want to talk more about feats? How about that time that Yang was punched through a bunch of concrete pillars by a Atlesian Paladin? Not only she survived that, but her semblance absorbed enough force to be able to oblitarate that thing!
Wiz: Yang is a force to reckon with... Sadly she has some limits.
Boomstick:Yep, while her aura can absorb a great amount of strengh it has a clear limit and cannot absorb that force while she is knocked-out.
Wiz: Yangs fightning skills are good but they not exactly the best of rwby world.
Boomstick: Yeah, like that time that midget with icecream colored hair beat the crap out of her, making fun of her fightning skills.
Wiz: And it did not help the fact that Yang becomes really hot headed some times and can clould her reasoning. This resulted in one of her biggest loses against one White Fang best member, Adam. The outcome of the fight was lost of her arm.
Boomstick:But her faults are clearly clouded by her feats and strenghs. Everyone should think twice before picking a fight with Yang or doing something horrible against her hair.
Yang: Nailed it!
Josuke[]
Wiz: The bed town of Morioh is not far from being a normal and rural japanese town.
Boomstick: If it wasnt for the mass abductions and the fact that the town is filled with phantom powered people! Not far are you saying?
Wiz: Those "people" are called stands users. Stands are the manifestation of someone souls and are spiritual beings that protect their user and can only be seen by other users.
Boomstick:With all those people with weird powers and the abductions there should be someone watching over the town right?
Wiz: Actually There is a stand user watching over it. And his name is Josuke Higashikata.
Boomstick: After being born from the affair of a american filthy rich old man named Joseph Joeastar, the one that in his younger days was known for defeating the living hell out of vampires, the life of Josuke was meant to be weird since the firs seconds of his life!
Wiz: Weird...? The word that we are searching for is bizzarre.
Boomstick: Yeah, Bizzarre is a way of describing that weird and horrible hair.
Wiz: No, no, no...! If you value your life you should never insult Josuke pompadour.
Boomstick: While humble in nature... I think that is a smart move not messing with Josuke.
Wiz: Being part of the Joestar bloodline the awakening of his stand was a matter of time.
Boomstick: And so the stand Crazy Diamond was born. While having a fightning ghost seems weird I would not misprise something like CD.
Wiz: Wise choice, since the powers of Josuke's stands are some of ones to be afraid of.
Boomstick: Crazy Diamond Strengh is tremendous. It can shatter a concrete street with a mere pair of punches.
Wiz: Crazy D speed is also very impressive. Being able to deflect thousands of tiny bullets from the Stand Bad Company aimed at his user.
Boomstick:Those were a lot of bullets! Speaking of speed... Have you seen the speed of those punches?
Wiz: Yeah, A big trait of Crazy D is the fact that can punch at really high speeds. While Josuke stated that his punch speed is about 300km/h its easy to assume that It can go even faster.
Boomstick: Who needs more when you have a ghost that can punch at that speed and with that strengh?
Wiz: Well, The thing is that Crazy D is not limited to that. You see besides a basic array of skills. Stands tend to have a special and unique ability. In Crazy D case is the power of restoration.
Boomstick: Restoration? For what you would use that?
Wiz: How about healing your comrades wounds in a matter of second? The bad thing is that he cant use it to heal himself.
Boomstick:Its sound like something totally useless!
Wiz: For those close minded, like you, it would be that. But the thing is that Josuke creative mind had let him use it in some very efficient ways.Like that time that Josuke used it to fuse the body of a mass murder inside a rock.
Boomstick: Or that time that Josuke messed up a punk nose with it. Or even cooler when he used it to create a blade from his blood?
Wiz:He can also destroy a motorbike and repair it in the middle of the air, then resume the ride like nothing happened, he can even use it to creat highly resistant walls.
Boomstick:Living in a bed town it was surprising to see Josuke being able to archive a surprising big array of feats.
Wiz:With his Crazy Diamond Josuke can shoot a piece of glash with his thumb with the strengh and speed surpasing the one of a pistol.And it has such great precision that can shoot rats from a great distance.
Boomstick: Crazy Diamond speed was enough for punching a fully chared and onguard red hot chilipepper and stand made of electricity that could go and react faster than lightning.
Wiz:Crazy Diamond strengh was enough for the destroying the stand Star Platinum defense with a very little array of punches.
Boomstick: You know the same Star Platinum that was able to destroy those car-sized diamonds with its mere punches.
Wiz:With his creative skills with the restoration ability, Josuke can shoot a piece of glass at someone, if the projectile misses it only needs to repair the window from where the glass came in order making it a remote projectile.
Boomstick:Using his stand in creative ways very good and that but defeating stands users is another of Josukes strengh.
Wiz: Defeated Angelo a mass murderer and Akira Otoshi even if his stand had the clear advantage.
Boomstick:Was able to run from the stand highway star, while he was searching for his user. When Josuke found him, he beat the crap out of him.
Wiz:He also defeated the Nijimura Brothers, stands users of some very dangerous stands.
Boomstick:But leaving some stands users aside, Josuke was able to defeat and idirectly kill Kira Yoshikage, using the enviroment in some clever ways.
Wiz:Josuke is a fearsome foe to have.But even if Crazy Diamond is a strong being, Josuke is a mere human. Any lethal wound can kill him, like a stealth attack or place a bullet in the right spot. It does not help that Craz
Boomstick: Well I would not be so sure about that after al he was pierced by a big amount of shrapnel and took a big explosion, he was not so dead. Also while Crazy Diamond took a beating from Red Hot ChiliPepper (remember that if Stand User suffer the same damage that their stand take) and Josuke was still breathing.
Wiz: Speaking of which, stands can only be hurt by other stands and can only be hurt by other stands user.
Boomstick:And speaking about... Speaking. I would no say anything about Josuke's hair.
Wiz:Yeah, If that occurs Josuke enters in a rage state. In this state Josuke becomes totally insane and lets Crazy Diamond use his full potential. Like that time that it destroyed Star Platinum defense.
Boomstick:It's clear that Josuke does not fuck around, I would think before saying something against that stupid hair.
Josuke: What did you say about my hair?
Death Battle[]
City of Vale.
It was a nice and calm the day that Yang had the necessity of doing a little walk around the city. Soon she found herself in the middle of a desert plaza.
In the middle of the plaza her eyes we're able to see a weird dressed and weird haired guy sitting on the sides of a fountain. She closed the distances with the weird guy before she was able that guy, while seated, was trying to maintain his distances with a turtle that was slowly approaching to him.
The guy had a very weird look on his face. It seemed that a little turtle was enough to scare the hell out of him. Yang started to laugh. The guy noticed that.
???:Whats so funny, lady?
Yang: You are asking the wrong question, weird guy. What you should be asking is: Whats not funny?
The weird guy stands up.
???:Pardon me?
Yang:First you're scared from a little animal? What's so scary about a turtle? If it does something to you, then the only thing that you must do is call the shell-block.
The weird weird guy an angry stare against Yang.
Yang: Dont be so bad! After all you wont be scaring anyone with that stupid hair of yours!
???:What did you say about MY HAIR!
The weird guy, with a murderous face rushes against Yang. In an instant what seems to be an invincible force tries to strike a blown against Yang. Luckily for her, her instincts let her dodge it. Sadly some of her hair is hit, in consequence some locks fall to the ground.
Now the one with a murderous face is Yang.
Yang:Say bye,bye!
In an instant Yang equips her ember celica and shoot some bullets against de guy. Luckily he also has enough reaction time to dodge it. The bullets sadly hit the fountain and the turtles is hurt flying away from it.
Josuke:Well, You've done it! I, Josuke Higashikata, will teach you a lesson!
Yang: Yeah? You'll try.
FIGHT!!
(Cue Reach Out The Truth)
Yang does not hesitate and starts the fight shooting an array of bullets against Josuke.
Josuke: Crazy Diamond!
Yang: Crazy what?
The stand of Josuke emerges. And in an instant some punches are launched and the bullets are avoided.
Yang:Impossible! The bullets... Just bounced! What kind of semblance its that?
Josuke:Semblance? You're wrong. That's my stand, it only needed just some punches in order to dispel all those tiny bullets.
Yang: Punch? Why you did not say that earlier!
Yang punches his knuckles.
Yang:I will show you.. What a punch actually is!!
After saying that Yang launches herself with her gauntlets in to the air aiming at Josuke. And before the fall he launches a powerful punch against Josuke.
Yang: Take that!!
Crazy Diamond reacts fast enough to counter the attack and in the middle it clashes his fist with Yang. After the clash Yang lands far from Josuke. But she does not hesitate and impulses herself against Josuke again. This time Josuke's stand reacts fast enough to do a back-step, so he and his user can get away from where he is.
*CLASH*
When Yang lands the failed blow the floor is totally shattered.
Yang: You're lucky, punk.
Josuke ignores Yang insult and starts walking around the battle scenario. Between him and Yang there is the big hole that Yang made before.
Yang: Whats up? You wont be attacking me? Then don't cry after I kick your butt with this!
This time Yang impulses herself trying to tackle Josuke, while she is in the middle of the air, with a straight punch since it's impulsing in an horizontal direction this time.
Josuke:Idiot...
With a movement of his stand hand the hole of the ground does not take long before it turns into a wall. Fast enough to catch Yang off guard.
Yang: That's not enough!
Yang smashes the wall and promptly hit Josuke with a fierce punch. But Crazy Diamond goes in the middle in order to protect his master. Since Yang strength was a surprise for Josuke and both are launched back.
Josuke lands hardly on the ground.
Yang: Whats wrong was not that "Stand" of yours enough to take all my punches.
Josuke stands up with some trouble.
Yang: You looked so cute in the ground!
With that said Yang shoots an enormous amount of bullets against Josuke, all those bullets a received by Crazy Diamond but instead of deflecting them, this time Crazy D catches it all.
Yang:What? Those bullets are in the middle of the air.
Josuke: I got a surprise for you Goldilocks.
Crazy Diamond puts a bullet in his thumb ready to shoot it against Yang.
*BANG* The bullet is launched!
Yang evades it without problem.
Crazy Diamond repeats the process, again, again and again. But Yang easily avoids them.
Yang: Its normal being disappointed of your surprise? Shooting my bullets back was smart but..
Josuke: That's not my surprise.
(Cue Jojo PS2 Bruccellati theme)
Crazy Diamond only shot the half of each bullets. Then touching the remaining halves... Each half came back to its half!
Yang: What the...
Before Yang could react to anything the half projectiles struck her in the back.
That distraction was enough for Josuke in order to close the distance and let Crazy Diamond some hits against Yang.
Crazy Diamond: DORA!
With his battle cry some punches are launched against the confused Yang each of them land perfectly, and she is send to the floor. But she does not last very long to stands up again.
Yang: You will need something more in order to destroy my aura!
Yang launches again against Josuke, but he does not react.
Josuke: Crazy Diamond!
Before she can do anything Josuke's ghost guardian launches even more punches than before.
Crazy Diamond: DOORARARARA!
Each of them clashes with Yang body, since she was not able to see the punches each of them were able to hit her and provoke some serious damage on her and... his hair.
While she falls her eye catches some of his hair falling over her. Then his eyes turn into red and flames star to appear around Yang as she stands up and an hot fire stars burning inside his heart.
(Cue I Burn)
Without saying a word Yang launches with full power of her semblance, that absorbed each of Crazy Diamond punches.
Crazy Diamond tries to block the attack but this time both stand are user are totally overwhelmed and are launched back, this time very far.
Josuke lies in the floor very beaten up after receiving that powerful punch.
Yang comes near Josuke while he starting to recover from his wounds.
Yang: Its time to end you and your stupid hair.
Those words awakened Josuke at a extremely high speed. Now his hair looked very different from before, this time it was pointy.
Yang: What in the world...!
Josuke:Excuse me... Lady. But what the hell did you SAY ABOUT MY HAIR!!
(Cue Josuke's Theme)
Yang steps back, something was weird.
DORA!
In a second something touched his leg before she could notice it, and his feet was connected in the ground.
Josuke: STAND there for a moment will you...?
Before she could do anything Crazy Diamond started to launch a barrage of fast punches.
Crazy Diamond: DOOOORARARARARARARARARARARARARARARAARARARARARARARAARRARAARARARARA!!
Each punch hit vital part of her body. And all those punches were fast and strong enough for destroy her aura. And then Crazy Diamond launched a powerful uppercut.
Crazy Diamond: DORA!!
That last punch pierced his body, finishing Yang.
Josuke calms and walks near the broken fountain. His eye catches a wounded tortoise. Crazy Diamond heals the turtle and then the fountain. Next he calmly puts the turtle in the fountain's pond.
Josuke: I hate touching reptiles.
Then Josuke left the plaza while Yang's pierced body in was still the floor.
K.O.!!
Result[]
Boomstick: No...! Why!? Why the blonde lady had to die against that weird haired guy?
Wiz:Lucky you, Im here to tell you why. Yang strength and skills as a hunter were formidable. His aura could take a lot of punishment giving her the durability edge.
Boomstick:But...
Wiz:But she needed more in order to take down Josuke.
Boomstick: Yang is a skilled fighter she can fight and defeat enemies that can go on a direct fight, sadly that's not the way of approaching someone like Josuke.
Wiz:Josuke tends to think in some very creative ways in order to take down his foes and that creativity can give a lot of problems to Yang, who tends to fight animals and not so strategic enemies. Since she can overpower those with strength alone.
Boomstick: There is even more, right?
Wiz:Yes a deciding point is that she could not see and hurt Crazy Diamond since she has not way of seeing or hurting spiritual beings.
Boomstick: And while his aura let her absorb some attacks of Crazy Diamond, the fire rate of those punch is hell crazy.
Wiz: Yeah, Remember that Crazy Diamond is stated to be stronger than Star Platinum, even if his user is humble enough to say otherwise, and now remember that a punch of Crazy Diamond could catch and hurt a being that can react and move faster than electricity?
Boomstick: Don't think! With those two ingredients we get the formula for destroying Yang's aura. In the end Yang did not STAND a chance against Josuke.
Wiz: The winner is Josuke.
