Interlude[]
Tabashi: The alphabet is an important thing to learn. It contains letters that we wouldn't be able to write without.
Angel: But you know which letter gets the shit end of the stick? Z, that's what.
Tabashi: Indeed, like these three here.
Angel: Zilla, the Giant Lizard.
Tabashi: Zigra, the Fast Fish.
Angel: And Zedus, the Frilled Fighter. Now, to make this fight fair, all of them will be adjusted to 213 feet (65 meters) tall, as it's the middle of all their heights on a number line.
Tabashi: In addition, the battle will take place on water and land, or else Zigra would get crushed first.
Angel: He's Tabashi and I'm Angel!
Tabashi: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win in a Death Battle Royale!
Zilla[]
Tabashi: The year was 1968, just 14 years after Godzilla's surfacing.
Angel: There was a nuclear test going on in the Maruroa Atoll Islands, and it seemed fine at first. But little did those fools know that they had mutated an innocent marine Iguana, which would one day become the biggest pain in Godzilla's ass!
Tabashi: Enter Zilla, the Giant Lizard and King of the Mistakes.
Angel: I must say, I do like Zilla now, but there IS something we still need to address.
Tabashi: The Zilla from 1998 is legally a Godzilla, as well as his son.
Angel: Yeah, it turns out that when Toho bought Zilla's rights from Tristar, they had some kind of agreement or something. So legally, Godzilla 1998 and Zilla are "entirely separate creatures".
Tabashi: Correct. Anyways, 30 years after his mutation, Zilla sought out revenge. So, like any pissed off Giant Lizard, Zilla went to New York City, and terrorized it.
Angel: The military tried to fight back (luring him out with 20 metric tons, or 20,000 pounds, of fish), but Zilla defeated them and rampaged through the city.
Tabashi: Zilla was then battled by the military again, and seemingly killed by a torpedo.
Angel: I can hear all you anti-Zilla people shouting "hooray!", but-
Tabashi: I said "seemingly." Yeah, long story short, the torpedo did NOT kill Zilla, so he resurfaced when his asexually-reproduced offspring-
Angel: Blech!
Tabashi: -Were blown all to hell.
Angel: Aw, poor guy, all he wants is to start a family! Anyways, Zilla got pissed, and ended up on the Brooklyn Bridge, where his scutes got him stuck, and he was killed by at least 12 F-18 Hornet missiles.
Tabashi: …Or was he? Anyway, Zilla weighs about 500 metric tons (pretty lightweight for a Kaiju), and has a plethora of abilities, not counting his Cybernetic form.
Angel: He's got 6-foot long claws (huh, look more like 12 feet.) which are great for burrowing and slashing.
Tabashi: His son has a variation of the Atomic Breath, called the Power Breath, and that stuff is able to exert at least 1.3 Megatons of TNT.
Angel: And since Zilla and Zilla Jr. are the same species, we can safely assume that Zilla possesses Power Breath as well.
Tabashi: Oh, and did we mention that Zilla is one speedy bastard? Well, he is!
Angel: Zilla’s top speed has been said to be around 300-500mph (well, in the Tristar era, anyway), and by factoring that into a Kinetic Energy calculator, we found it to be around 1.07469-2.98525 tons of TNT! Or, for simplicity's sake, 1.1-3 tons of TNT.
Tabashi: Zilla can react fast enough to dodge missiles and torpedoes at close range, as well as catch an AH-64 Apache Helicopter in his mouth!
Angel: Holy crap, this guy is fast to react! How much caffeine stuff do you think this guy drinks in the morning?
Tabashi: Zilla hasn't really shown any strength feats, but he should logically be strong enough to push around his own weight, 500 metric tons.
Angel: However, Zilla’s not without his weaknesses. Zilla’s a big, skinny coward, as he ran away from a few helicopters when they started shooting at him.
Tabashi: Also, his scutes, while able to tear most things with ease, can be caught up in things like suspension cables.
Angel: And as we said before, Zilla was killed by the F-18 Hornet missiles, though it should be worth noting that it took at least 12 to do so.
Tabashi: But even with those weaknesses, Zilla’s still a Kaiju, and you don’t want to stand in his way!
