Description[]
They are both heroes who wear highly advanced suits for battle, they both are part of well know group of heroes who protect the world, and the have suffered serious injuries that forced to them to take a break from the hero work for a while. This is the Ninth episode of the Third season of Dandyclaw's Death Battle.
Interlude[]
Wiz: Since the medieval times, heroes have used suits of armor to help them protect the innocent
Boomstick: But fast forward decades into the future, these new and improved suits of armors are far more advanced and weaponized then they were in the past
Wiz: Colonel James Rhodes, the armored Avenger War Machine.
Boomstick: Boomstick: And D.Va, Overwatch’s most professional Girl Gamer. He's Wiz and i'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their Weapon, Armor, and Skills to find out who will win...a Death Battle!
War Machine is locked and loaded for Death Battle[]
Wiz: Born and raised on the streets of Philadelphia, James Rhodes had dreams of one day proving his worth to the world.
Boomstick: Rhodes would eventually become a student at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, where he would meet and befriended Anthony "Tony" Stark. The two of them soon became best friends, with a close bond and rivalry that would last their entire lives.
Wiz: Rhodes would join the United States Air Force after graduating MIT, and earn the rank of Lieutenant Colonel years on. Due to his long friendship with Tony, he became his liaison between Stark Industries, and the U.S. Armed Forces.
Boomstick: For years Rhodes was the one who kept Tony out of trouble and kept him on a short leash during all his shenanigans and out of control inventions. But, hey, that's the price of doin' business, ain't it? Or, maybe I should say "big business"?
Wiz: When Stark had been kidnapped by the Ten Rings, Rhodes personally led a mission to rescue his best friend. However, upon their return, Rhodes saw Stark moving away from developing his weapons for the military and soon discovered that he was instead focusing on becoming a hero known as Iron Man.
Boomstick: Despite all of his fears for his friend's safety, Rhodes stood by Tony as the loyal friend he was and helped him bring down Obadiah Stane and end his evil schemes, all the while trying to keep Stark's secrets. But this only turned out to be futile only for the next day for Stark to reveal them to the media himself. Way to break superhero rule number one man, secret identity.
Wiz: With Iron Man's identity known to the entire world, Rhodes found himself under pressure from the United States Congress and the military to take possession of the armor for himself, something that he was against.
Boomstick: However, as Stark's reckless behavior got even worse, Rhodes soon reached his breaking point, and had no choice but to take the Mark II before handing it over to the military, but not after a huge fight with Tony and a lot of collateral damage.
Wiz: With Justin Hammer aid and financial supplies, he upgraded it with his new weapons to rebrand Rhodes as the new armored avenger, War Machine.
Boomstick: Aw-haw yeah, it's like Iron Man, but with more guns!
Wiz: After War Machine teamed up with Iron Man to bring down Hammer and the Russian terrorist Ivan Vanko and their army of Hammer Drones, Rhodes kept the armor for himself to continue fighting the good fight. He even became an honorary member the Avengers after Tony put in a good word for him.
Boomstick: Despite Stark's continued objections, the two eventually rekindled their friendship and became a dynamic duo of armored heroes to protect the world, one suit at a time.
Wiz: Rhodes had spent years trying to find his place in the world. As War Machine, he found a way to truly make something of himself.
Boomstick: Aw, and these babies are a beautiful piece of work. Just look at all those weapons!
Wiz: Upon being handed over to Justin Hammer and then Tony, it was weaponized and upgrade to become the most well-armored piece of machinery in the Marvel Universe. With its basis being the MK II armor, it gives the wearer superhuman strength, reflexes, durability, and flight.
Boomstick: Besides being able to use its repulsors as offensive weapons, the suit is armed to the teeth with weaponry such as a minigun attached to its back, combat rifles attached to its forearms, and a missile launcher stored in its shoulder. Aw such a beautiful piece of art.
Wiz: It was also given additional armor plating and to counterbalance the extra weight caused by the various added weapons and armor, extra thrusters were added to both calves to allow for flight on a level comparable to the Iron Man Armors from the Mark II onwards. The suit comes with a suite of onboard combat analysis software including radar tracking and auto-targeting systems
Boomstick: That's not even talkin' about what Rhodey fights with! His fine-tuned ride's got a Rocket Launcher and a unibeam in the chest. And did I mention guns, guns and more guns?!
Wiz: Are going to take about anything else besides the guns?
Boomstick: Sure, if you want to take away all the gun. The War machine armor also has the War Hammer, a non-lethal melee weapon, boring. It may only look like an energy emitting collapsible baton but it is able to emit concussive force on impact, with four stun pannels that can be set to various strengths.
Wiz: The suit also has a Miniature Stark Sonic Canon, which can emit a sound wave that can stun the target, targets as powerful as the Scarlet Witch herself.
Boomstick: Like his friend, Tony Stark, Rhodes has no superhuman powers. But he is a high ranking military soldier, a great hand to hand fighter in combat, as well as superb marksman.
Wiz: As War Machine, Rhodes has fought in some of the greatest battles in the MCU, from the Battle of Sokovia, the Battle of Wakanda, The Civil War between the Avengers and the ultimate Battle of Earth.
Boomstick: Even after the loss of his beloved friend Iron Man when he made the ultimate sacrifice to save the world. Wiz, if that ever happens to me, do me a solid and gather up my entire beer hoard, placed it in a secure room, lock the door and throw away the key.
Wiz: You still mad I blew up your last beer horde. I told you it was in the name of science
Boomstick: Do it again and I’ll introduce you to the names of my two fists.
Wiz: However, the suit does possess the opposite weakness of the Mark I: extreme heat instead of extreme cold. This was shown when an Extremis soldier applied heat to its chest, causing it to shut down.
Boomstick: And that was just the beginning of Rhodes problems. During the Battle of the Avengers, Rhodes suffered a serious spinal injury after falling hundreds of feet in the air, and crash land to the ground.
Wiz: Iron Man was able to call in medical service, but Rhodey was paralyzed from the waist down. Despite being paralyzed, Stark was able to create a device that would help him walk again.
Boomstick: But armor or no armor, legs or no legs, Rhodes continued to push through the pain the world through at him and suit up to face it head on. And did I mention the…
Wiz: Don't say it…
Boomstick: THE Guns!!!
War Machine: Congratulations, Cap. You're a criminal.
D. VA has all the gilts and glamour for Death Battle[]
o Wiz: Thirty years from the present, mankind would become careless. Their machine servants rose up to fight for freedom, and so began a worldwide war. During said war, South Korea was attacked by a colossal omnic monstrosity that rose from the depths of the East China Sea.
o Boomstick: The massive, lumbering construct caused catastrophic damage to coastal cities before it was driven back beneath the waves. I sure hope those guys have good insurance policies.
o Wiz: In response to this monstrous attack, the South Korean government pulled together the most brilliant minds in the country to developed a mechanized armored drone unit, called MEKA, to protect urban environments in future engagements with the omnic threat.
o Boomstick: But this was only a short-term solution, as the government bean to notice a disturbing pattern of attacks from the omnics.
o Wiz: Every few years, the monstrosity would rise from the sea to assault South Korea and its neighbors yet again. The omnic learned from these encounters, often reconfiguring itself in a different form and appearing with new weapons and capabilities. Each incident ended in a stalemate, with the monstrous machine being defeated or retreating to fight another day.
o Boomstick: As the omnic continued to adapt, it eventually disrupted MEKA's drone-control networks, forcing the military to place pilots in the mechs to outthink the machines at their own game. Scrambling to find suitable candidates, the government choose not highly trained soldiers or hired mercenaries, but the country’s top professional gamers
o Wiz: As silly as this may sound, the gamers possessed the necessary reflexes and instincts to operate the mechs' advanced weapons systems.
o Boomstick: I mean have seen how hard professional gamers push their bodies to the limit to be the best. Hour staring at screen, monitoring the slightest detail of their games to make sure the didn’t miss a shot. Someday, I’ll make it the ranks of the best gamers in the universe.
o Wiz: Top stars were drafted, including reigning world champion Hana Song, also known as "D.Va." Famous for her elite gamer skills, D.Va was a fierce competitor who played to win at all costs, and she had a well-earned reputation for showing no mercy to her opponents. And believe it or not, she’s only 19 years old.
o Boomstick: Seeing her new mission as a game, D.Va fearlessly charges into battle alongside the rest of her MEKA unit, ready to spring to her nation's defense at a moment's notice. Recently, she has begun to stream combat operations to her adoring fans, and her growing following has turned her into a global icon.
o Wiz: As if her ego didn’t need any more boosting. Considered a tank unit, D.Va has good movement for a powerful unit; her mech has high health and her boosters can cover a lot of ground in short periods of time. In the solo battle with the Gwishin on the coast, she flew several hundred feet away in a matter of seconds. While it is hard to pinpoint exactly the speeds of this flight, it is very impressive a tank that size can move that far, that fast.
o Boomstick: Of course, once she closes the distance, D.Va has a pair of Fusion Cannons that act like rapid fire shotguns. It’s a laser gun and a mini machine gun had a baby, and the baby was on steroids.
o Wiz: They have unlimited ammo, but the main problem for D.Va is that they slow her movements down immensely. And if she wants to do a little flying, she can use her Boosters ability to launch her mech into the air.
o Boomstick: Her MEKA has even shields to take the highest level of damage from Doomfist's ultimate attack, Meteor Impact, the same attack that collide with Winston’s Primal punch.
o Wiz: D.Va’s mech is nimble and powerful, making it a fierce opponent for the invading omnics. She’s outlasted other MEKA operatives, fought against a giant Omnic, defended South Korea from Gwishin attacks, and fought 5 Octopus Omnics. Not to mention she is one of the best StarCraft players and most famous celebrities in Korea.
o Boomstick: She is also packing a set of micro missiles - firing off 11 at a time. This attack cannot be cancelled unless the mech is destroyed mid attack, so D.Va best be absolutely certain on a target once she uses it.
o Wiz: Each missile does 7 damage, and with 18 possible shots, and they have a 1.5 metre radius of effect for splash damage - doing 4 damage per missile in splash terms.
o Boomstick: But if worse comes to worse, and she is left with no other option, D.Va can initiate a self-destruct on her mech to catch her targets off guard. Her Self-Destruct can slay even the Primal Rage from the great gorilla Winston
o Wiz: After a 3 second fuse, the blast covers a 20-meter radius. Any poor soul in that vicinity can take anywhere between 100 and 1000 damage. It's nearly always a fatal blow.
o Boomstick: He Wiz, think you can add a self-destruct button to Dummy over there.
o Wiz: Who says I didn’t.
o Dummy: I heard that.
o Wiz: You were supposed too. Anyway, The battle will even continue outside of the MEKA, for Hana also uses a Light Gun gifted to her by the Korean government, which is a Mid-Ranged Automatic Blaster with 20-shot Magazine, and that's the only thing she uses outside of the mech, but she can call another mech from her hanger and continue the battle.
o Boomstick: She even shot her MEKA’s core whilst free-falling during the count down for the self-destruct sequence to destroy 5 on coming omnics. Not only did she survive the impact, also she got in return was a broken leg and fractured wrist.
o Wiz: We are not going to lie, as time went on, the cost of defending South Korea from the Gwishin began to take its toll on Hana. In one battle in Busan during a thunder storm, the squad barely managed to defeat the omnics, but the other mechs were put out of commission due to serious damage and their pilots sustained some injuries; only Song came out of it relatively unscathed.
o Boomstick: D.Va might be a very skilled StarCraft player and having a one badass mech, she herself is not as durable while she's not in the vehicle.
o Wiz: She still only human in the end who relies mainly on her mech to do most of her fighting for her.
o Boomstick: But she has an indominable will to win. And will stop at nothing to get the victory, be it in a game or on the battlefield.
o Wiz: She even came to the aid of Overwatch, even though South Korea was still bound to respect the Petras Act, preventing any Overwatch activity to happen in their country. After the mission she was offered to join Jesse McCree's new team of potential Overwatch recruits, alongside Pharah and Baptiste, which she accepted without a second thought.
o Boomstick: Her act of heroism soon got her recruit on the team of super humans, finally leveling up in game of life and death.
o Wiz: Hana sure has come a long way since her days as a professional gamer.
o Boomstick: D.Va and her Mech are still a formidable duo however, with the former's skill turning the latter into what is most certainly a gamechanger on any battlefield.
D.Va: Nerf This.
D.Va ejects out of her vehicle as it self destructs.
Pre-Fight:[]
Wiz: all right the combatants are set, lets end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fight:[]
Next to the Shield Helicarrier, War Machine is seen flying in the sky as he takes a whiff of the cup of coffee he is holding. He suddenly notices something land on the Helicarrier that doesn't seem like their standard aircraft. He then receives a call on his screen that causes him to spill his drink.
Shield Agent: Colonel Rhodes, their is an unidentified mecha suit on the Helicarrier that is not one of ours. We need you to check it out.
War Machine: Never a day to myself, huh? Rodger that, be right there.
War Machine drops his drink and flies towards the Helicarrier. As he flies down, he sees Hana Song, standing in the middle of the runway taking pictures of the aircrafts until she notices War Machine standing not far from her.
War Machine: Hey there! Trespassing on military property is a serious offence, young woman.
Hana: Oh I'm sorry. I just saw this sweet aircraft and I had to take a few shots for my Instagram. Also are you an Avenger, cool, quick Selfie.
Hana runs up to Rhodes and snaps a selfie of the two of the together. But before she can leave, Rhodes swipes her phone from her.
Hana: Hey give that back, that's a brand new phone!
Rhodes: Sorry young lady, but I can't have you posting photos of top secret government equipment on your Facebook page.
Hana: It's Instagram, and I really would like my phone back.
War Machine: Why don't you come and get it?
D.Va hopes into her mecha suit and powers it up as Rhodes lowers his face mask over his Armor.
D.Va: With pleasure.
War Machine charges at D.Va and begins to push her mecha across the Helicarrier, but D.Va is able to dig into the run away, stopping War Machine and pushes him back. Rhodey tries shooting his repulsor blasts at D.Va, but she uses her Boosters to evade the repulsor blasts. He then launches his missiles but Luthor uses her Defensive Matrix to stop the missiles and cause them fly off in different directions avoiding her. This results in more damage to more of the equipment on the Helicarrier.
Shield Agent: Colonel Rhodes, I know we asked you to stop the intruder, but could you do so without damaging our equipment?
War Machine: Oh yeah, sorry about that.
D.Va begins to fires her Fusion Cannons in rapid bursts at her opponent. War Machine begins narrowly avoiding the blasts and begins to fly off into the air. D.Va takes off after him using her boosters. Rhodey spins back and forth avoiding the blasts across the Helicarrier, resulting in D.Va hitting some of the other aircrafts instead. Taking her time, D.Va locks onto War Machine and fires a missile at him, which strike him and caused him to crash on the runway.
D.Va: Direct hit, baby!
Seeking to take advantage of her downed opponent, D.Va picks up a forklift truck, with the intention of throwing it at Rhodey. War Machine gets up and fired a unibeam directly from his armor's chest at D.Va , knocking her and the forklift away. Before Rhodey can fire again, D.Va unleashes a barrage of blast from her Fusion Cannon at War Machine, who blocks the attack.
During the blasting, Rhodey keeps track of his suit's damage while scanning D.Va's mech. Once he's informed of his opponent's abilities and weaknesses, he smiles and flies back and begins to target the gamer in her mech.
War Machine: Saaaay cheese!
Hana: Uh...Oh.
War Machine takes out most of his heavy power firearms and begins firing all of his guns at D.Va, who activates her boosters to fly away. Despite Hana's attempts to avoid the barrage of missiles and bullets, one of her Fusion Cannons is blasted off and booster legs are shot down, making her fall back to the craft.
War Machine: Alright kid, playtime's over.
As Rhodey walks over to D.Va's Mech, she turns around and fires her only Fusion Cannon at War Machine point blank. This shot, blast part of Rhodey's mask off, revealing his face. Stunned by the blast, War Machine falls to his knees, allowing D.Va to pick herself back up.
Hana: Now's it my turn. Saaaay Peek-A-Boo!
D.Va begins firing her remaining Fusion Cannon and Missiles at War Machine, who desperately tired to block the attacks while his suit takes massive damage. After giving it her all, D.Va stops her attack, only to see War Machine battered but still standing.
Hana: Alright, time for Plan B.
D.Va uses her last booster to rush and grab hold of War Machine, before ejecting herself from her mech. But not before initiate the self destruct on her mech and sending full power to her last booster to send it and War Machine into the air. D.Va then ducks behind a some containers as her Mech explodes in the air, alone with the War Machine Armor. Hana then pulls out her phone and takes a selfie of her and the explosion.
Hana: Check it, folks. I just fought a freaking Avenger, and won!
Rhodey: I don't think so.
Hana turns around, only to be ambushed by Rhodey, who punches her to the ground.
Hana: How are you still in one piece?
Rhodey: The same way you survived (It is seen in a Flashback, that when D.Va's mech grabbed the War Machine armor, Rhodey ejected himself first before the Mech took off).
D.Va then pulls out her gun and starts firing it at Rhodey. He quickly jumps for cover and then picks up an AK-47 from the crate he hid behind and shoots it at Hana. The two exchange fire, but none of them land a fatal hit. Hana the throws up her hands and walks out from behind her hiding spot, seemingly surrendering.
Hana: Hey hey, hold up, I surrender already.
Rhodey: About damn kid. Bet you finally realized this is a fight you can't win.
Hana: Hmmm, on second thought, Nah.
Rhodey: What are you...?
Suddenly, a new Mech suit lands on the Shield Helicarrier, prompting Hana to backflip into it.
Hana: Ha, bet you didn't see that coming did you.
Rhodey: Actually, I did.
Then another War Machine armor, more upgraded then they last one, lands next to Rhodey and he suits up in it. With their new suits, D.Va tackled War Machine and into a wall pinning his hands and preventing him from using his more effective weapons. Rhodey response by launching himself and Rhodes skyward and then plummeting down through the run way of the Hellicarrier and into another section of the aircraft, that resembles storage warehouse.
War Machine and D.Va charge towards each other and shoot their guns and cannons, clashing with each other as D.Va blast forwards with her boosters to pushes Rhodey back. War Machine tries to launches his missiles, but D.va activates her Defense Matrix to shot down the missiles, stopping some them in their track, but some swerve off course and cause damage to some of the containers in the area.
Rhodey: Hey be careful kid, there is a lot of important equipment in this place.
Hana: Hey that was you fault.
War Machine zooms over and tries punching D.Va multiple times, but mecha is unfazed as she blocks the attacks. D.va then grabs War Machine by his waist and tosses him into some shipping containers.
Hana: Is that the best you can do?
Rhodey: No, This is!!!
War Machine charges up his repulsors and fire them at D.va. The gamer blocks them, until he hits some combustible containers and causes a small explosion that knocks D.va back. D.va get up and fires her missiles at War Machine, who retaliates by firing his own rockets. The various weapons collide with each other and cause another explosion. D.Va then pulls out her phone to record the explosion.
Hana: Woah, did you see that peeps. Boom Da Boom, Babe
Rhodey: Are you seriously filming this?
Hana: Well somebody has to, and I don't see you with a phone.
They charge at each other. They collide into each other and try to use their boosters to push the other back. But War Machine uses the opportunity to grab onto D.Va mech's arms and throws her to his side, using the force from her booster to send her crashing into a wall. D.Va gets up and the two then proceed to punch at one another, countering blow-for-blow, before one final punch from each knocks them back. D.va then boosts forward and grabs War Machine, before flying upward and dragging Rhodey back up to the center of the Heliacarrier.
Hana: Well What do ya know, back where it all started
War Machine tries to struggle his way free, but D.va then lets him go before punching back down onto the Hellicarrier. D.Va flies upward while War Machine is hovering mid-air, activating her missiles, then blasts War Machine downward with a barrage of blasts. After D.Va lands, she flies forward toward Rhodey, who has just gotten back up. War Machine charges as well towards D.Va, but as the two get closer, he charges up his repulsors and fires them at D.Va's face at close range. This ends up shattering D.Va glass cover, making her loose focus and crash to the ground. War Machine then starts firing all his firearms at D.Va., whose mech starts sustaining critical damage. With her mech reuined, Hana starts crawling out of her mech as War Machine hovers new by.
Hana: Gotta...call up...a new suit.
Rhodey: Oh No, not this time. I've got something special for you.
Rhodey's converts all his remaining power to his chest piece and fires a massive Uni-Beam attack at Hana and her mech, destroying it and maiming her seriously. As War Machine collapses and lies on the ground, he sees the destroyed mech and Hana's cared body.
War Machine: Well that was enjoyable, somewhat
Shield Agent: Uh...Colonel Rhodes, that's for your help, but Director Fury would like to have a word with you
War Machine: Tell him...I'm out jogging
Results[]
Boomstick: That girl has Officially been Un-followed
Wiz: D.Va was certainly a serious threat when it came to destroying Omnics and Talon Agents. However, Rhodes held a solid advantage in many different aspects.
Boomstick: He's had years of training in the military, even before becoming a superhero. Which means he's been doin' this for way longer.
Wiz: However, D.Va never really had any live combat experience outside of her video games and her mech suit. This put her at a serious disadvantage, epically whenever her suit got destroyed, which was her main source of power
Boomstick: Then their was the difference in firepower. Sure D.Va had missiles and laser guns, Rhodey had all that pulls a bunch of other weapons' that could shred Hana to pieces
Wiz: D.Va was certainly a powerful contender, but War Machine's overwhelming firepower and high-tech abilities were just too much for the mech-piloting gamer.
Boomstick: Yeah, Hana may have had a "mech-sized" head start, War Machine was on the "Rhode" to victory.
Wiz: The Winner is War Machine
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Next fight[]
Previous Fight[]
Soundtrack[]
The cover name would be "Mega Mecha Mechs".