Waluigi VS Dick Dastardly is a What if? Death Battle created by LeTotalMemer2, it later got adopted by Raiando, it features Dick Dastardly from Wacky Races and Waluigi from Mario series.
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Description[]
Mario VS Wacky Races! Which purple wearing cheater with a pointy mustache will win?
Intro[]
Wiz: Their are many types of villains, but these two are the wackiest and craziest as well cheaters.
Boomstick: Like Dick Dastardly, The man with crazy ways to win.
Wiz: and Waluigi, Wario's cheating partner.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and i'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their Weapon, Armor and Skills to find out Who Will Win....a Death Battle!
(The Doors of Death Battle slam shut and open for Waluigi's bio)
Waluigi Dances In[]
Wiz: Mario has been spending most of the mainline series saving Princess Peach from the Koopa King: Bowser, but in the spinoffs Mario takes his fellow residents of Mushroom to Go-Karting, playing Tennis, Dance around and participate in a dangerous party minigame.
Boomstick: However, there is someone from Mushroom Kingdom that Mario has never met in the mainline series, it's the Lanky, purple wearing and dashing plumber: Waluigi!
Waluigi: WALUIGI NUMBER ONE!
Wiz: As Boomstick mentioned, Waluigi never made a single appearance in the Mario games before, but that doesn't mean were not gonna use him.
Boomstick: Yeah he really needs some love, so anyways Waluigi first made his appearance on Mario Tennis, where he was Wario's right hand partner, he continues to be Wario's partner in the later titles as they both try to cheat the competition.
Wiz: Waluigi possesses many equipments and abilities that will come in handy, first being his thrusty Tennis Racket.
Boomstick: And I though Shovel Knight's weapon of choice was weird, this guy takes it to another level, he can use it to smack people to death, deflect Bob-Ombs and it was powerful enough to destroy a machine with ease. Speaking of Bob-Ombs, those are his other main weapon of choice as he's having a Blast blowing up his enemies, he can create an EVEN bigger Bob-Omb twice the size of him and he can lift it up and throw it away and BOOM, it's pretty awesome!
Wiz: Waluigi got an Eggplant that makes people vomit uncontrollably.
Boomstick: Talk about using expired foods as weapons.
Wiz: Waluigi has pretty impressive dancing skills, he's very graceful, athletic and pretty fast, hell his dancing skills were so impressive that he almost took over the Mushroom Kingdom.
Boomstick: God i wish my ex-wife had dancing skills like that.
Wiz: He can also Swim in the air...for..some..odd reason.
Boomstick: SCREW PHYSICS! Who needs them anyway?
Wiz: Since Waluigi only appeared in the Spinoffs, he can use many different items and vehicles from them, like Golf Clubs, Karts, Baseball Bats, Banana Peels, Green Shells, Red Shells and the most deadliest item, Blue Shell.
Boomstick: Waluigi got one more thing in his pocket, Thorny Waluigi.
Wiz: In this state, Waluigi uses a Technique called Wall-Luigi as he's capable of creating Thorn trails from behind and his Mega Strike involves Waluigi using a Thorn as a Whip that is capable of spitting up a Metalic Soccerball into several pieces.
Boomstick: Waluigi sure packs up a lot of crazy stuff in the pocket, he's capable of burying his enemies down the ground with his bare feet, beat up Bowser in several occasions, like the time where Waluigi beat him up in a one on one fight and Waluigi finished him by kicking him in the face!
Wiz: Waluigi is not only strong enough to beat Bowser, but also fast enough to Outrun a Black Hole and keep up with King Koopa, who is capable of keeping up the Mini-Stars, which are capable of flying out of the Black Hole and cross the size of a solar system, which is 30,000x Faster Than Light.
Boomstick: Waluigi is also capable of surviving an explosion of a Bob-Omb that sized an Entire Stadium, but Waluigi just backed up like nothing happened to him.
Wiz: Waluigi might be pretty skilled fighter, however he has his fair share of letdowns, for starters he's very Clumsy, arrogant, has anger managment issues, not good at golf and he's often bested by his rivals.
Boomstick: And worst of all...he made into Smash as an Assist Trophy...for straight up Three games, sure he gets a time to beat up his opponents, but it lasts for 15 seconds before going back into eternal darkness in the Assist Trophy.
Wiz: He's pretty much threated as a sore loser not just from his friends, but from Nintendo themselves, but this shouldn't let you underrestimating Waluigi.
(Waluigi was seen celebrating his victory in Mario Party)
Waluigi: Wah, heh, heh, heh! Waluigi is number one!
(The Doors of Death Battle slam shut, finishing Waluigi's bio and open for Dick Dastardly's bio)
Dick Dastardly Cheats In[]
Wiz: In the weird world of Wacky Races, we got a bunch of competitors in their unhorthodox cars, ranging from two cavemen in car made out of Boulder to a Lumberjack in a car made of woods, they're all competing to gain the title of World's Wackiest Racer.
Boomstick: However, there's one racer that is fastest of the bunch, it's the purple wearing guy with a dashing mustache that goes by the name of...Dick Dastardly.
Wiz: Dastardly is the very cunning, villainous and a crazy person, he's the driver of the Mean Machine and is supported by his canine: Muttley.
Boomstick: Both of them come up with ridiculous schemes of cheating the competition, however most of them backfire on Dastardly and always ends up being at the last place.
Wiz: No matter how many losses Dick Dastardly had, he will never give up.
Boomstick: Dick Dastardly is always equipped with lots of weaponry for himself and the Mean Machine, this fast moving vehicle is equipped with a trusty propeller in front of it's vehicle, a magnet to pull it's opponents back, a Frickin' CHAINSAW, a Mallet to crush em down, a Lasso to stop them in place and It can turn into a helicopter to fly over the racers and it can ever drive underwater.
Wiz: Dick Dastardly himself can come up with multiple plans in time to distract the racers, Such as creating a falling boulder trap, use disquises like other certain purple villain, paint the race tracks, nail down fake signs and best of all
Boomstick: A building that simulates a bakery shop, when it's actually a trap that turns it's opponents into a cake , not makin' that up.
Wiz: Dastardly himself got other vehicles than his iconic Mean Machine, he gotvehicles like a Bulldozer, Crane Machine and a Monster truck, but his other iconic vehicle is his Airplane that he used for trying to stop Yankee Doodle Pidgeon.
Boomstick: Richard Dastardly and his Mean Machine got loads of feats to keep on track, his vehicle can Carry a Solid Block that is four times bigger than the vehicle, trick the racers on many occasions, he's tough enough to survive being blown up in his vehicle, survive being Road Rolled and survive being in a Volcano!
Wiz: However, there are many downfalls that Tires Dick Dastardly, such as most of his plans being Backfired on him for him being too arrogant, always being the last to cross the finish line, while he technically won once, he still got a one long losing streak.
Boomstick: He also failed to stop a goddamn Pidgeon on multiple times, not even his team could help him out. Imagine being a cunning villain with loads of weaponry, but you can't stop a pidgeon, god that would suck.
Wiz: Despite all of his downfalls, Dastardly will always be on the road and fully prepared for his Dirty Schemes.
Dick Dastardly: Drat! Drat! and Double Drat!
(The Doors of Death Battle slam shut, finishing Dastardly's bio and open for the pre-fight)
Pre-Fight[]
Wiz: Alright! The combatants are set, let's end this debate ONCE AND FOR ALL!
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(The Doors of Death Battle slam shut and open for the fight)
Death Battle[]
In the Mario Circuit, the sky is clear blue and the road was clean and empty, around the Mario Circuit, there were three Trophies near to the Peach's Castle - Golden, Silver and Bronze.
Suddenly the camera zooms out of the trophies and we see a human in purple overalls, he had a sharp chin, a dashing mustache and a Hat with upside down L, it's was Waluigi, he was looking towards a trophy from the distance, and he was thinking about stealing it, the Golden one to be exact.
Waluigi: Wahehe! This trophy will be mine!
The lean plumber paddles his legs and runs towards the trophy, he was getting closer and closer for his desire, until suddenly...
'BUMP'
Waluigi ended up bumping on another person, who was also running towards the same trophy, they both got dizzy, but when Waluigi shakes his head and gets up, he saw a person that was similar to him, he was lean, he wore purple, had a dashing mustache like him, it was Richard Dastardly.
Waluigi: Wah!? What you doing here?
Dastardly: I was the first who saw this trophy, stay out of my way.
Dick Dastardly pushes away Waluigi.
Waluigi: Hey! That's not fair!
Waluigi stands up, pulls out his Tennis Racket and Ball, he throws the ball and hits it towards Dastardly's head, the wacky racer didn't take it kindly and turns his head towards the purple plumber.
Dastardly: Well then leany, there's can be only one Wacky Racer.
Waluigi: Wah?
Dastardly pulls out a mallet out of his Coat and ready to fight.
Fight
Dastardly rushes at Waluigi and slams the mallet on his Face multiple times, Waluigi backs off and hits the Tennis Racket on Dastardly, then Waluigi takes out a Bob-Omb and throws it at Dastardly, the purple racer lunges away from the Bomb before it blows up, instead it ends up landing on the Trophy stand, which ended up blowing away the three trophies up in air. Waluigi sees the Golden one falling down towards him, he jumps up and grabs it.
Waluigi: Wa-ha-ha!
Waluigi laughs in joy as he got the trophy, Dick Dastardly gets up from the ground and runs towards The Purple Plumber, he tried to punch him, but Waluigi simply jumps back, Dastardly then tried to snatch the trophy out of Waluigi's hands, but he fashionably swirls up in air, Waluigi stomps Dastardly in the head, it was so strong that it burried Dastardly down the ground.
Waluigi then starts to simultaneously stomp on his head, then Waluigi takes out the Racket and knocks Dastardly far away.
Waluigi: WALUIGI NUMBER ONE!
Waluigi takes the Trophy and walks away, however Dick Dastardly was still alive and he got up, Dastardly pulls out his binocular and sees Waluigi walking away.
Dastardly: He won't get away from me that easily.
The purple cheater takes out a Lasso and throws it towards The Golden Trophy at Waluigi's hand, Dastardly manages to catch the trophy and snatch it away.
Dastardly: Come here pretty.
Dastardly got the Trophy and ran towards his Purple, Spiky vehicle that is Mean Machine, Waluigi gets angry and starts to run after the Cheater. Waluigi was getting close to him, but Dastardly revs up the engines of his vehicle and blasts off, which leaves a smoke from the vehicle as Waluigi ends up coughing.
Dastardly: Heheheheheee!
Dastardly was laughing while he was driving away, the Purple Plumber looked around a vehicle to catch up with the Purple Racer, Waluigi finds a Purple Kart with upside down L on it.
Meanwhile at Dastardly.
Dastardly: Aw yeah! It's finally time for me to have a trophy!
Suddenly something ends up bumping behind the Mean Machine and it ends up spinning around.
Dastardly: DRAT!
Dastardly looks out of the window to see what hit his vehicle, he saw Waluigi on a Kart who was holding a Green Shell in the air.
Waluigi: WAH!
Dastardly looks back and drives away as fast as possible, Waluigi throws his Green Shell towards the Mean Machine, which ends up avoiding it, Waluigi throws the last Green Shell, but Dastardly still avoided it.
Dastardly turns around towards Waluigi and activates the propeller of his vehicle, he charges at the Purple Plumber and rams him, Waluigi gets slashed multiple times by Dastardly and he gets launched away.
Waluigi takes out his Tennis Racket and took off a bunch of Tennis Balls from his pocket, he starts to strike them towards the Mean Machine and each of them slowly twist the vehicle. Dastardly quickly drives away before things get worse.
Waluigi still chases after The Cheater. The purple plumber takes out a Super Mushroom and equips it on his Kart, he boosts at high speeds and reaches towards Dastardly, he constantly rams the rear of Mean Machine.
Dastardly: Hehehe! It's time to use this.
Dick Dastardly uses the Nitro Boost, a huge flame comes from the back of the vehicle and it starts to burn Waluigi.
Waluigi: WaohWaohWaohWAOH!
Dastardly boosts far away while Waluigi engulfed in flames. The fire wore out of Waluigi and he was still fine, the Purple Plumber is still determined to chase after the trophy, so he pushes the brake and drives forward, meanwhile Dick Dastardly got far enough from Waluigi, he gets out of the vehicle to set up a Trap, he takes out a bunch of Spikes and Leafs to scatter them on the next side of the road for Waluigi to come and run over them.
Dastardly: Hehehe!
To add cherry on the top, he places a sign that directs towards the spikes, Dastardly quickly runs towards the vehicle and drives away. The scene cuts back to Waluigi who sees two routes with a sign that points at left, Waluigi looks at the left route and sees bunch of fallen leafs, Waluigi sees the other road which wasn't covered in leafs and it had traces of tires, The Purple Plumber thinks that is a trap that is set by Dastardly.
Waluigi: That cheater thinks he can fool Waluigi?
Waluigi drives to the other side where Dastardly drove off, Waluigi takes out a Bullet Bill and equips it, he turns into a large Bullet Bill and chases after The Cheating Racer. When he gets upclose, Waluigi impacts on the Mean Machine and it blows up, Dastardly and his car spiral up in air before they crash on the ground simultaneously, the Mean Machine now looks worse than ever.
Dastardly: DRAT! DRAT! This can't be the end.
Dastardly tries to start up the engine and it slowly revs up, Waluigi reforms back to his normal form and sees bunch of Propellers coming from Dastardly's vehicle, it starts to rise up from ground and it flies up.
Dastardly: So long Loser!
The dashing racer let's out another laugh before flying away. Waluigi gets angry from it and he slams his hand on the steer.
Waluigi: Cheaters never win.
Waluigi still goes after the flying Mean Machine, Waluigi sees bunch of slopes, the plumber got an idea of using them to reach Dastardly. Waluigi boosts towards a slope and leaps up lightly, Waluigi keeps leaping from one slope to another, Waluigi was getting so close to reach Dastardly, but the Mean Racer used the last of Turbo Boost to get away from Waluigi.
Waluigi: NOOOooo!
Waluigi falls down to the road, but he still didn't give up, there is one more Slope and a Question Block flying nearby, Waluigi goes towards it and gets, the items start to cycle through from likes of Super Mushroom, Bob-Omb, Blue Shell, Banana Peel, ect. But when it stopped cycling, it ended up being a Starman.
Waluigi: Waha!
Waluigi equips with it and he starts to flash in different colors, his vehicle gets a Massive Speed Boost, Waluigi is ready to catch the Dastardly driver once and for all. Waluigi drives towards a large slope, he builds a large momentum and he ends up leaping in far distances, he manages to reach towards Dick Dastardly, Waluigi ejects out of his Kart and jumps towards the Mean Machine, he swims in the air and he ends up getting in front of Dick Dastardly's view.
Waluigi: WALUIGI TIME!
Waluigi while in his Starman form, does several fashionable poses to distract Dastardly's view and he succeeded, Waluigi then takes out an Eggplant and throws it on Dastardly's face, Waluigi then grabs the trophy from Dastardly's seat and says.
Waluigi: Bye bye.
The Purple Plumber jumps up and stomps down the car to the ground, the Mean Machine dives all the way down to the ground and it ended up blowing up into pieces. However the driver himself was still alive but he looked very burned up and he had that unamused face on him. Waluigi gracefully lands on the road by spinning like a ballerina, then Waluigi starts to run towards his vehicle, Dastardly looked around the ground and he saw a Magnet from the broken pieces of his car and it was lying on the ground, so Dick Dastardly grabs that and points it towards the Golden Trophy, the force of that Magnet managed to pull the Trophy towards him.
Waluigi: Hey!
Dastardly got back the trophy yet again and he escapes.
Waluigi: Waluigi won't let you-a escape this time.
Waluigi then swirls around and creates bunch of Mini-Tornadoes which go towards Dastardly, but the cheater sidesteps from them, Waluigi takes out his Golf Club and lunges at Dastardly, when he was about to hit it in the head, Dastardly quickly jumps in panic and he kept running, Waluigi swings it around but he kept dodging them, Dastardly sees an Orange Aircraft and he thinks of using it to escape, but first he thought of keeping away Waluigi from getting towards the plane first.
Richard Dastardly took off a Chainsaw to deal with the Lean Man, Dastardly winds up the Chainsaw and swings it towards Waluigi, he tried to defend himself with the Golf Club, but Dastardly saws it in two, The Evil Racer gets close at Waluigi and swings his Chainsaw at him, it left a huge mark on Waluigi's chest, Dastardly swings again and leaves another mark, and finally he plunges it on Waluigi, making him to fall on his back but not being fully killed.
Dastardly runs towards that Orange Aircraft and hops in it and starts up the engines of it, Waluigi manages to stand up on his two, unfortunately for him, it was late, Dastardly already flew off.
Waluigi: Mama Mia.
But, Waluigi lowers down his eyebrows, as he was still determined to chase after that Trophy, Waluigi sees a Hot Air Balloon nearby, Waluigi quickly gets in it, he starts the fire and cuts the rope that was holding the balloon, Waluigi flies off to give Dastardly a one more chase.
Waluigi takes out a Bob-Omb and tosses it far away towards Dastardly in his Plane, it explodes on contact and knocks Dastardly a bit, but he got back at control a moment later. Dastardly looks back only to see three more incoming Bob-Ombs, the cheater steers away and Bombs end up missing the target. Dick Dastardly turns towards Waluigi and then he pulls out a Dynamite from his coat.
Dastardly: Have a Blast!
Dick Dastardly then throws that Dynamite towards Waluigi, but he counters it with a Bob-Omb, both Waluigi and Dick Dastardly start to simultaneously throw bunch of Bob-Ombs and Dynamites respectively, each of them end up clashing each other and create explosions, it ends up recoiling Waluigi's Hot Air Balloon away Dastardly and he started to lose balance. Dastardly got a chance of throwing a Dynamite that successfully landed on Waluigi, it knocks him back, then Dastardly takes out his Chainsaw and throws it towards Waluigi, the purple plumber managed to dodge the Chainsaw by crouching, however it cuts the ropes that hold the seat, so Waluigi ends up falling.
Dastardly: Heheheheeee!
Dastardly gets satisfied and he pinches his mustache, when Waluigi was falling down, he managed to jump very high out of the seat, then he swims up at Dastardly, the cheater was surprised.
Dastardly: What? Why don't you give up?
Waluigi then creates a Bob-Omb twice the size of him out of thin air.
Waluigi: Take This!
Waluigi throws the Big Bob-Omb at Dick, he couldn't do anything to defend himself from it.
Dastardly: Oh no!
The Bomb blows up and it completly destroys Dastardly's aircraft, Dastardly falls out of his vehicle and he screams, a Purple Aura emerges from Waluigi and thorns grow out of his back, he turned into his Thorny Waluigi form, he flies very high in the sky and creates a Metallic Soccerball. Waluigi grows a thorn from his hand and whips the ball.
Waluigi: WAAAH!
He strikes the ball and it multiplied into three more soccerballs, they dive towards Dick Dastardly, who was still falling, the cheater saw his demise coming from above.
Dastardly: Drats!
Richard Dastardly said his iconic line before having Metallic Soccerballs piercing through his body, it caused Dastardly to unleash a stream of blood out of him from the force of it. Dastardly's body ends up falling on the road while Waluigi safely lands on the road, Waluigi then saw a Golden Trophy falling from the sky, he jumps and grabs it.
Waluigi: WALUIGI NUMBER ONE, WAHA!
KO
Results[]
Waluigi was seen walking the road with the Trophy while Muttley was seen walking towards Dick Dastardly, only to see his owner is dead.
Boomstick: Now that's a one Wacky Race, also sorry to see that dog losing his owner.
Wiz: Dastardly might be a very skilled driver and known for playing dirty, Waluigi is more superior than Dastardly is.
Boomstick: You see, Waluigi is more experienced at Racing, playing Tennis, Dancing, Golfing and he had his own wins, Dastardly on the other hand never got to win many times and he can't even catch a Pidgeon crying out loud!
Wiz: Dick Dastardly has lifted and carried a huge block that was ten times of his own size, however he was using his own vehicle to lift it up with ropes, Waluigi can lift up a Giant Bob-Omb with his very own hands like nothing, we doubt that Dastardly will hold that Bob-Omb.
Boomstick: Both Waluigi and Dastardly have a huge amount of weapons and items, but Waluigi takes the cake here, he got the Thorny Waluigi form which can split a Metallic Ball in halves and send them down at high speed.
Wiz: the Thorny Waluigi form can be comparable to the other Mega Strikes, which can create Stars, there's really nothing Dastardly can do about it, not even his Cheating Schemes.
Boomstick: Waluigi also managed to beat Bowser the MOMENT he picked up to fight with him, and Waluigi's able to keep a good track with likes of Mario, Luigi, Wario and whole bunch of others. Dick Dastardly on the other hand, can't trick up the other competitors and he always ends up being the last.
Wiz: Dastardly's Mean Machine is a pretty fast vehicle, but not for Waluigi, who was able to outrun a Black Hole and keep up with Bowser, which we previously stated was 30.000x Faster than Light, more than enough to keep up with Dastardly.
Boomstick: How about Dick Dastardly surviving a volcano? Still nothing for Waluigi, who can survive a massive Stadium Explosion without flinching or anything, Waluigi is simply Stronger, Faster, Durable and more experienced than Dick Dastardly. Looks like Dick wasn't Dastardly enough to keep on track with Waluigi.
Wiz: The Winner is Waluigi!
Next Time on Death Battle
The scene shows a Purple curtain with stars on it, the camera slowly zooms towards the curtain, suddenly the scene cuts to black and...
???: IT SEEMS YOU COULDN'T MAKE INTO MY SHOW, SO I BROUGHT THE SHOW TO YOU!
The curtains open up to reveal an animatronic fox with a white plate and pink makeup, it was...
Funtime Foxy
VS
We see a square shaped robot on a wheelie which had a switch on it's back. The Switch flips up and then the robot started to shake and the screen flashes in white.
???: OH YES
Two showlights lit up to reveal the robot has changed, the smoke clears upon and it reveals that the robot has turned into a humanoid looking robot in a Pink Armor.
Mettaton
Trivia[]
- The Connection between Waluigi and Dick Dastardly is that both are Purple wearing villains that try to cheat the competition, only to fail.
- This is the Fourth time Raiando uses a Nintendo character.
- This is Raiando's third Villain themed episode, the former being Robbie Rotten vs I. M. Meen and Devil Mario VS Turbo Mecha Sonic
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