DESCRIPTION[]
Marvel vs Alien! which of these black-skinned slimmers will outlast each other?!?
INTRO[]
Wiz: There are toxins that are strong enough to kill. But the source of the toxin can leave us with a fate worse than death.
Boomstick: And these two are the source of that toxic evil, covered in darkness and have the scariest grins I've ever seen.
Wiz: Venom, the vile symbiote nemesis of Spider-Man and the fuel of nightmares.
Boomstick: And the Xenomorphs, a bastard of primal rage and the nightmare fuel of Ellen Ripley.
Wiz: I'm Wizard, he's Boomstick and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to figure out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!!!
VENOM POISONS DEATH BATTLE[]
Wiz: Peter Parker was a normal teenage boy until he was 15. Then his life changed when he was bitten by that radioactive spider, only for a short time later for his uncle to die and thus making him into the hero known as Spider-Man.
Boomstick: Then a meteorite fell from the sky and had a gooey black goo stuck on it.
Wiz: This was a symbiote. This found Peter and attached itself to him. For a long time, Peter enjoyed the suit and became more and more violent, nearly killing some of his rogues.
Boomstick: But because Peter's a nice guy, he rejected the suit and went back to the classic red and blue suit. Enter Eddie Brock.
Wiz: Eddie Brock, was a person who blamed Spider-Man for destroying everything in his life: His marriage, his job at the Daily Bugle and even his health.
Boomstick: That's what getting stuck in the rain does to you.
Wiz: But he had cancer.
Boomstick: WHAT?!
Wiz: Losing everything but his life, Eddie went to a church to pray. That same night, Peter went there to get rid of the symbiote once and for all. But Peter wasn't alone with the symbiote. Eddie saw him and deduced that he was Spider-Man, but then the symbiote combined itself with Eddie with both of their hatred for Spider-Man, they formed a villain of pure destruction. They were poison to Peter Parker and Spider-Man...
Boomstick They were Venom...
Wiz: And so, Venom led on a campaign of destruction and violence that the city had never seen before. Even dark and violent heroes like Punisher couldn't believe the amount of chaos and destruction. Until Carnage.
Boomstick: And because he's made of living tar from planet tar, he has a huge amount of powers including:
- Super strength,
- Super speed,
- Increased durability,
- Shapeshifting,
- Shoot webs,
- Gliding,
- Create Decoys,
- Create tentacles or spikes,
- Invisibility
- and a Healing Factor!
Wiz: After his campaign of terror, Venom went on to actually befriend Spider-Man.
Boomstick: And...?
Wiz: And he was cured of his cancer. Well, thanks to Mr. Negative.
Boomstick: Huh?
Wiz: Technical science babble you wouldn't understand.
Boomstick: What the fuck--
Wiz: On to feats, Venom has done such marvels as:
- Taking hits from Juggernaut and Hulk,
- Crippled and nearly killed Sandman with a venomous bite,
- Survived Ghost Rider's penance stare and the fires of Hell,
- Was stricken with the Hulk's Thunderclap and survived,
- Can keep up with the symbiote Carnage, who is faster than Spider-Man,
- Caught and threw a 200 ton Ferris wheel,
- Caught a train,
- Caught up to a bullet,
- Escaped the Realm of Madness,
- Took on a giant sonic blast that shattered all windows in a 10 mile radius,
- Survived an exploding power plant,
- Can normally bench press around 500 pounds
You may call me Venom -- for that's what I'm payed to spew out these days! I'm your victim, Spider-Man-- I'm the innocent you ruined!
- And defeated Spider-Man, Electro, Juggernaut, Carnage, Grendel and The Hulk.
Boomstick: But Venom isn't flawless. He's got some weaknesses, like high pitched noises, extreme heat and he can even go into some kind of madness state. The hell is that about?
Wiz: Well, it's complicated. Venom sort of goes into a frenzy, called the Madness state. He becomes deranged, unstable and even slower.
Boomstick: So wait, he becomes slower by going crazier?
Wiz: Yes.
Boomstick: Seriously?
Wiz: I just said yes.
Boomstick: Are you shitting me?
Wiz: What is so bad about Venom going slower when he goes into the Madness state?
Boomstick: How the hell does he go slower and somehow gets crazier? Shouldn't it be him going faster?
Wiz: No, that's not how that works. Boomstick, have you read the comics?
Boomstick: No.
Spectacular Spider-Man (2008) Eddie Brock becomes Venom
Wiz: Seriously?
Boomstick: But I did see a couple of movies that we need to talk about, right?
Wiz: I suppose we should.
Boomstick: Also, we should do an episode with Ripley, that would be awesome.
Wiz: I strangely concur.
DEATH BATTLE FACES THE XENOMORPH[]
Wiz: In the future, the idea that our society will go beyond the stars and travel to other worlds.
Boomstick: But somehow we always manage to fuck up, even if we're on someone else's planet.
Wiz: In the infamous Alien franchise, a group of astronauts and scientists came to an alien planet with a ship, thousands of years old.
Boomstick: But like in every space movie, he for some reason, somebody fucked up and got their face hugged.
Wiz: Really?
Boomstick: I'm not sorry for that joke.
Wiz: Well, his face was literally hugged by an alien creature of unknown origin. For about a day, the human was unconscious, until the creature fell off and died.
Boomstick: That guy was fine, right? Bullshit. He's laying on the table, only for a certain something to pop out right in front of Ripley.
Wiz: Boomstick!
Boomstick: Yeah I know, then a little creature popped out of his chest and started singing "Hello my Baby."
Wiz: Really?
Boomstick: Come on, that joke was gift wrapped, dumbass.
Wiz:... Sure it was. Most of the crew were killed and all but one person was alive: Ellen Ripley.
Boomstick: Ahh... Ripley, Ripley, Ripley... ONE DAY YOU WILL BE MINE.
Wiz:... Okay. Anyway, these Aliens were never given any form of history in the Alien film canon other than this:
Long ago, there was a race of beings known as the Engineers. They created a form of biological weapons in the form of a creature. In the film Prometheus, the android David impregnated doctor Elizabeth Shaw with a mutagen containing the bio-weapon. She removed it and it was... an octopus of some kind. Then the... creature ejected an egg into an Engineer's stomach and may have created the Xenomorphs we know now.
Or David created the Xenomorphs as stated in Alien: Covenant. Or they were the disastrous creations of the Engineers that were meant to use for terraforming planets. Either way, the universe was faced with a new threat. One that was faced against the deadly face of the Xenomorph was Ellen Ripley.
Boomstick: Fuck that, let's talk about how deadly the Xenomorphs are with their, "biological weapons," like:
- Acid blood,
- a killer mini-head in it's mouth,
- killer claws,
- a fucking super long tail with a blade on the end
- and acid blood-proof skin.
Wiz: With these biological weapons, I can see why the Company wanted to try and control them. They have done such things as:
- Torn steel with its bare hands,
- Dodged gunfire and plasma blasts at close range,
- Took shotgun shells and wasn't even hurt (To be fair, it seemed to get even more pissed off.),
- Destroyed a Predator's head with one shot from it's inner jaw,
- Threw a human being with ease in a heavily injured state,
- Didn't even notice that it was impaled,
- Caught a Predator off guard multiple times,
- Ripped through a soldier fully dressed up in armor,
- The Xenomorph can also rip a human spine and skull out of a human body like the Predator,
- Survived being dunked in molten lead (until it exploded.)
- And has survived multiple attacks from the Predator.
Alien Isolation- Jump scare
Bad-idea1203
Boomstick: Yeah, about that lead thing, why did that blow up?
Wiz: That was because it was immediately hit with cold water just after being in the molten lead, causing it to blow up.
Boomstick: So if the water didn't hit it, the Xenomorph would have lived?
Wiz: Possibly. But just because it could survive in lead doesn't mean that it isn't flawed.
Boomstick: Sure, it can kill a Predator, but it's still got it's animal instincts and often requires numbers to attack bigger prey.
Wiz: The Xenomorph can also be killed with heavy armor-piercing rounds and are vulnerable to fire and heat.
Boomstick: But if you're dreaming of an eyeless grinning monster at the end of your bed, don't bother running. You're already dead.
PRE-BATTLE[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set and we've run the data through all her possibilities.
Boomstick: ITS TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
DEATH BATTLE[]
(Walking down the street, Eddie Brock whistles a little tune while another voice in his mind growls at him.)
Venom: Eddie, knock it off. Your pathetic sounds are bothering me.
Eddie: What? What's wrong with a little whisper now and then?
Venom: You know how much annoying vibrations piss me off Eddie...
(They walk into Mrs. Chen's store and find her wriggling on the ground in pain. Eddie runs up to her and tries to find out what's wrong with her.)
Mrs. Chen: Eddie-- Something-- It's inside of me!
Eddie: What? What's inside of you? What's going on?
(She screamed in pain as her shirt turned red from her own blood and then a baby Xenomorph blasted out of her chest, killing her instantly. It attempts to run away from them, but Venom's tentacle grabs it and breaks the creature's neck. But then Eddie hears another sound. He looks up and sees a fully grown Xenomorph growling at him with it's unseen eyes.)
Eddie: What the fuck?!
Venom: Eddie. You know what we need to do...
(Black tentacles come out of his back and coat his body, making Eddie larger and no longer human and instead he and the symbiote are now Venom.)
FIGHT!!!
(The Xenomorph bares it teeth while Venom smiles with his large tongue hanging out of his mouth. Charging at each other, the Xenomorph charges at Venom and tackles him. They struggle while Venom dodges the Xenomorph's inner jaw from piercing a hole through his head. Venom then lifts the Xenomorph overhead and slams it into the celing, then throws it outside. It stands back up and hisses at Venom, who chuckles. The Xenomorph charges at Venom and tackles the two of them into a car, then it pierces a hole in Venom's neck with its inner jaw. He roars in pain then wraps his tongue around the Xenomorph's neck and throws it across the street, where it vanished into the shadows. Venom charges after it, but loses sight of the Xenomorph. After a minute of darkness, Venom's spider sense detected the Xenomorph about to attack him from behind. He bitch-slaps it away, sending it crashing into a nearby taxi cab while Venom jumps up into the air to crush the monster, but the Xenomorph escapes just before Venom lands and then stabs them in the back with its tail. Venom growls in pain as the creature jump on to their back and starts clawing at their face. Venom grabs the Xenomorph with both hands and throws it.)
Venom: GET OFF!!
(The Xenomorph crashes into a taxi and as it stands back up, Venom jumps up and goes to kill it, but it slithers away and bares its teeth at Venom, who in turns licks his teeth with his long tongue. Charging at the Xenomorph, Venom suddenly senses something behind him as he dodges the Xenomorph's dangerous tail. It swings its dangerous claws at Venom who turns one of his hands into a giant blade. Swinging it around, Venom almost catches the Xenomorph. But this fails as the Xenomorph impales Venom through the chest. The Xenomorph pulls its tall out of him as the hole in Venom's chest heals up very quickly. Venom charges at the Xenomorph with the arm blade but it dodges and goes in for another attack. The Xenomorph jumped at Venom. He catches the Xenomorph in midair and hurls it into a nearby car only for it to run away and hide in the darkness. Looking around, Venom doesn't see the monster. Then he felt and heard the sound of the Xenomorph's hissing then they spun around and grabbed the Xenomorph's neck, dodging the inner jaw. Venom roared at the Xenomorph's face until a long sharp pointed object shot itself through Venom's chest. Looking down, Venom saw that the Xenomorph's tale had dug itself through Venom's chest. Chuckling, Venom grabbed the Xenomorph's tale and ripped it off, acid blood spraying everywhere.)
Venom: What's the matter? Scared?
(The Xenomorph screeched at Venom.)
Good.
(Then Venom extends his jaw and bites down on the middle of the Xenomorph's head, large amounts of acid blood spraying all over the street, cars and even on Venom's face, melting part of it then healing immediately. Ripping the Xenomorph's head in half, Venom spat it out and stomped the head flat.)
Venom: So... Who's next?
(Venom looks around as he sees hundreds of Xenomorphs approaching them.)
POST BATTLE[]
Dbzgts-101
Boomstick: Wait, we're not going to see the final badass battle?!
Wiz: No, we just needed to see how he would hold up against one Xenomorph. And here, Venom was not only stronger, faster and had more intelligence.
Boomstick: Sure, the Xenomorph is one tough motherfucker, but it often needs strength in numbers while Venom could fight off Carnage and Spider-Man at the same fucking time!
Wiz: Plus, Venom had far greater powers such as shapeshifting and superhuman healing. There was nothing that the Xenomorph could do to harm him!
Boomstick: Looks like this round was taken by one Venomous motherfucker.
Wiz: The winner is Venom.