My part for the DBF Writing Contest
Description[]
Epithet Erased vs Team Fortress 2, their worlds are wacky and insane, and just about everyone in it has some form of inhuman ability or unique item that makes pure skill seem less impressive, but at the end of the day BANG headshot! is all you really need to take down an opponent, and these two skilled shooters are here to prove it, despite ironically also having some of that unique stuff on them as well, but at the end of this, whose bullet is going through whose head.
Intro[]
Sheldon: Zora Salazar, Bliss Oceans Sharp Shooting bounty hunter from Epithet Erased.
Deadpool: The Sniper, the Tuefort crews Aussie marksman from Team Fortress 2.
Sans: in this day and age, skill has become far less needed the more we progress, but these two death dealing gunners are here to show that skill is still as important as ever, even if they’ve got a bit of an extra arsenal to use with it.
Sheldon: these two are Deadpool and Sans, and I’m Sheldon Cooper, and it’s our job to analyse their skill, weapons and abilities to figure out who would win-
ALL: A DEATH BATTLE!
Zora Salazar’s dialling for a high-noon showdown[]
Deadpool: let’s be honest here, worlds where a bunch of different people who have a bunch of different powers ain’t really that unique anymore, but there is still a bit of a difference between how these powers came about, like with X-men mutations it’s some of humanity is further in the evolutionary chain, with My Hero quirks it’s apparently a plague from rats, and with Miss Peregrine peculiarities it’s… whatever the f*** that library of souls is.
Sheldon: and in the universe we’re talking about today, that power source happens to be one of the strangest ones yet, known as Epithets, these powers manifest from specific words that are apparently carved into the soul.
Sans: as someone who know what damaging souls is like, there’s no way that isn’t painful, right?
Sheldon: apparently not, though I do want to say that these powers are pretty unique, essentially anything you can think of that can link to the word on your soul, you can apparently do, you just need to be creative enough to think of it.
Deadpool: I mean, when you can make even soup of all things seem pretty interesting, you know this power system is cool.
Sans: these powers manifest in one in every five people, those who have them are called Inscribed while those without are known as Mundies, this sounds like it may be leading into some racism territory.
Sheldon: you’d be absolutely right about that, welcome to Bliss Ocean, a terrorist group focused on removing all Epithets from existence, and they’d just found a way to do so, The Arsene Amulet, a small necklace that grants the ability to steal another persons Epithet.
Deadpool: unfortunately, or I guess fortunately, a whole bunch of other stuff happened in the museum, and the Amulet ended up in the hands of Banzai Blaster captain, Giovanni Potage.
Sans: he reminds me of someone.
Sheldon: as a way to ensure success in retrieving the amulet, they sent their single greatest and most feared member, Zora Salazar.
Deadpool: yeah, when others would much rather throw themselves in jail than have to deal with you, you know you’re a baddass.
Sans: to put it simply, Zora didn’t like Epithets, she hated the fact that others could train their entire lives and then just immediately be beaten by someone else just because they were lucky enough to be born with a power.
Sheldon: though that doesn’t mean that she’ll hesitate on using her own power, even against someone who’d done… just that.
Deadpool: minor case of hypocrisy that wasn’t her last one aside, boy is her Epithet cool, it’s called SunDial, mainly because when she uses her powers, Sundials appear.
Sans: this power basically allows her to take control of something while it’s in the middle of a certain action, like how she can halt bullets in midair to build them up in number, or stop someone while they’re midfall, and she’s very creative with these as well.
Sheldon: it can be imbued into objects so that they have the same effect on people, an effect so deadly that it can deage someone into a baby or age them all the way into dust.
Deadpool: she’s even noted that she can affect the cycle of daylight, and honestly, I believe her.
Sans: Zora carries around two pretty standard pistols, though they’ve shown to contain way more bullets than any ordinary gun should, and she also has a sword to slice through any opponent she wants.
Sheldon: she also has some seeds on hand, which through Sundial can be used to instantly create trees to either attack her opponent or use as a platform.