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Santa Claus VS The Flash

Thumbnail by Commander Ghost




Been wanting to do this as an April Fool's fight for some time, so I just sat down and jotted this out in maybe a couple hours.

Here it is and hope you enjoy it.

APRIL FOOL'S BATTLE![]

Most of his allies would need a vehicle or the ability to fly in order to reach the North Pole. For the Flash, he just needed his feet, which raced across the water. From what Barry Allen had heard, Captain Cold was hiding out there. A new base for the Rogues, perhaps? The Injustice League? The Legion of Doom? He had to know.

Finally, he saw the large ice landscape in front of him and leapt into the air, his feet aimed vertically. From there, he ran upwards effortlessly, the time between the move barely a thought to him. To the naked eye, he would seem to be a red streak, only there for a split-second.

From the distance, another man in red watched from atop his workshop. The bearded man needed no binoculars: he could see clearly what was coming.

"That structure up ahead... looks like Santa's workshop. Could it be a front? Only one way to find..."

Just as he reached out his gloved hand to open the doors to this mysterious building, a flash of red emerged before him, then an old man in red and white stood in his path. The Flash screeched to a halt, snow flying in front of the man, who simply stood unaffected, save for taking off his glasses to clean them. Barry had to think fast while this man was distracted.

"I don't know this guy, but I have to find out what's going on here. While he's cleaning his glasses, I could run around this place... see if there's a back entrance."

Barry looked over at the man, then ran off in what had to be milliseconds. He saw snowflakes seemingly frozen in time as he made his way to the back of the workshop and saw... a garage?

"Bingo!"

He zoomed forward, ready to phase through the metal door covering it...

He felt a tight grip on his right leg and saw himself off his feet: this old man caught him. Before the Flash could process this move, he saw himself being thrown further away from his destination, tumbling into the snow below until he sank. Santa Claus walked forward, waiting to see what this visitor had intended when the snow around Barry flew upward. The Flash stepped out of the crater slowly, eyeing the old man this time.

"I don't know who you are, but I need to find out what's in there and you're in my way. Please stand aside."

"The contents of my workshop are not something I can allow you or anyone to see..."

Barry thought he'd say that and had already began running as he spoke, only to see Santa in front of him once more.

"...Barry."

The Flash's eyes went wide open: how did this man know his secret identity? Would he use this information against him? He gritted his teeth, clenched his right fist, then ran in for a punch.

(*cues Bayonetta 2 - Glamor In Clarm and Allure*)

Santa redirected the punch with his wrist. As surprised as he was, Barry immediately threw another, only for that one to be stopped as well. Not deterred, the Flash unleashed a flurry of punches, each intended to strike harder than the last. Santa stood, not even using his hands, and avoiding them by swerving to the side or moving his head. With his last left hook, Santa caught it in his hands, then as the Flash readied his right, he was struck in the gut, then the chin, and finally a straight punch to his chest.

He slid backwards on the snow, then caught only a glimpse of the red blur that was the old man traveling behind him. He ducked, barely avoiding Santa's swinging fist. In that blink of an eye, he rolled across the ground, avoiding a two-handed slam. Barry ran backward, maybe a mile, maybe a fourth a mile, and saw Santa's next strike coming. Barry's right met Santa's right, his left and his left.

Two red blurs raced across the North Pole towards each other, colliding with one another, then separating and starting the cycle over once more.

"I've fought speedsters with white hair before, but this old guy's starting to be trouble. May have to stop holding back."

Just then, he swerved out of the way of Santa's next punch before swinging backwards with an elbow to the back of his head. Santa wasn't dazed for long in the eye of eternity and saw the Flash running at him with all haste. He met Barry head-on and they both traded a whirlwind of speedy punches, the snowflakes around them being bounced away by their clashes. They both saw an opening and went for a simultaneous punch, each delivering and being dealt a blow to the cheek.

Both flew backwards at high speeds, passing by who knows how much terrain as they both tried to regain control. The Flash had just gotten to his legs when Santa rammed into him, sending him further back. Barry looked and saw he was no longer on the ice, but over the ocean once more as he intercepted a two-handed swing from Santa before throwing the old man downward towards the water below. The Flash got into a running stance and raced across the water as he saw Santa's feet hardly tap the water before racing toward him.

"This has gone on long enough. I'm going all out."

The world around Santa went white as the Flash disappeared from his sight. Just then, the timeless void of Barry's Speed Force became all the blurrier in Santa's eyes. He then saw a red blur of a figure standing in front of him and could make out that it was holding something in its hands tauntingly.

"Looking for these?"

Barry tossed his glasses high into the air, then ran around Santa, bathing the area in red with his speed. A lighting bolt struck Santa's back, then another to his chest, putting a hole in his robe. As he side-stepped the next one, he was struck on the side, the ear... so many punches at once one couldn't keep up with where they had been punched until enough time had passed for pain to be felt. Another lightning bolt raced toward Santa, who wiped blood from his bearded lip before closing his eyes.

The Flash looked over as the man caught the bolt in his hand. He went for a punch in the attosecond after this, then saw that he had punched an afterimage, then saw... three Santa's? In spite of this, he made course for a path to punch all three, then saw a bolt flying toward him. He avoided this and ran through all three Santa's, none of whom had any physical presence, only to be struck by three bolts at once.

He fell to his knees, his hand on the water like solid earth, as he saw Santa's reflection, who had retrieved and donned his glasses from before. The Flash raced across the globe as quickly as he could, throwing a punch, then did so multiple times over. In spite of this, the old man avoided all of these strikes before the Flash suddenly felt a pain in his leg.

Barry had been tripped and before he could even so much as think of what to do, Santa struck him in the stomach. This punch send the Flash flying, the Speed Force shattering around him, only to be met with multiple blows as the two approached the North Pole once more, Santa punching as the Flash remained pinned in place in front of him. He saw the old man disappear, only to be struck upward by a powerful kick from behind. At this speed, the Flash felt like he'd be sent into space, but then he saw Santa already above him, slamming him back down. His fall into the North Pole would be instantaneous...

As he felt himself being gripped by the neck by a standing Santa, the impact of the catch causing the icy floor to crack. Barry had met his match and could barely act as he saw Santa raising his fist for a final punch to his face when he looked down at the man's robe... a hole in it...

Was that the Flash family emblem? It looked older, like it was made in ancient times, but there was no doubt it couldn't be a coincidence. Barry put his hand out.

"Wait! You're a Flash."

(*music end*)

Santa let go of Barry, gently lowering him onto his feet, then took off his right glove. Barry could see a Flash ring on his ring finger, also of ancient make.

"I'm sorry. We got off on the wrong foot. When you said my name, I thought..."

"It is alright, Barry."

"But who are you? How long have you been a Flash? What are you doing here?"

"You'll have the answers in good time. Come along."

He placed his hand around the Flash's shoulder and the two walked toward his workshop. The battle of scarlet speedsters ended not in death, but in friendship.



Epilogue[]

Much time had passed as Santa and Flash sat inside the workshop, each sitting in a rocking chair by a fireplace with hot cocoa in their hands. Just then, Santa caught a glimpse of a yellow blur in the corner of his eye. He got up and signaled Barry to stay where he was. In the distance, a yellow figure stood: a Santa-esque figure in yellow instead of red, a beard black instead of white, and with an aura of evil intent instead of good will.


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