Inside of his mayoral office, sitting at his desk in a full dark green suit and a shirt and tie for a change...
...was Mike Haggar, mayor of Metro City, signing papers with a pen. All seemed quiet...
...when the doors to his office were slammed open, white light shining from the doorway.
"Oh what's this?!"
Haggar stood up as this person approached him.
"You think you're the best mayor around?!"
With a shove from just one hand, Haggar sent his whole desk aside, preparing for a fight. But once the light dissipated and Haggar got a clear look at who was challenging him, his jaw dropped.
"Well game on, Mike!"
A blue suit, red tie, slicked gray hair, and on his name tag: Mayor Adam West.
Adam West charged at Haggar, his first punch being blocked by Mike's wrist. Another was blocked by the opposite wrist, after which Haggar got him in an arm lock before tossing him into the wall by his desk.
He went to slam both arms downward, but Adam West rolled out of the way, then grabbed hold of Haggar by the back of his head. West slammed Haggar head-first into the desk three times, then off his feet completely and into the wall twice. After the surprise of his opponent's strength wore off, Haggar broke out of Adam West's grip, then ducked under a swing to grab him by both his legs. After spinning in place twice, he let go, Adam West's back hitting a window, cracking it.
Upon recovering, he saw Haggar charging right for him and hopped upward, clinging to the ceiling while Mike crashed straight through the window. Adam West dropped down, sweeping off both his shoulders...
...but Haggar, clinging to the windowsill, grabbed onto Adam's leg and as he let go, pulled West downward with him.
Adam West kicked at Haggar's face, at first striking his forehead, but upon hitting Mike's mustache, reeled as if hitting an incredibly hard surface. Haggar took maximum advantage of this, spinning in midair before tossing Adam West with all the strength he could muster.
Seeing the ground fast approaching, Adam strangely began gagging in midair...
...coughing up an inflatable mattress, which upon touching the ground, took full shape, softening the impact of Adam's landing.
He didn't lie there for long, rolling to avoid an elbow to the ground by Haggar so powerful it not only completely deflated the mattress, but even caused cracks in the pavement beneath it. He was then struck back by a dropkick to his chest, knocking him straight onto his back.
Adam West then sat atop him, punching at his head repeatedly as Haggar tried reaching for the closest item he could in his position. His hand missed several melee weapons...
...and then struck Adam West with the eraser end of an unsharpened pencil, knocking him back. Haggar got back up and repeatedly jabbed Adam West with the pencil's eraser further until the pencil itself snapped. Adam West remained on his feet little the worse for wear...
...but he looked down, seeing that two letters on his nametag had been erased.
"NO!!! My name isn't Adam We!"
Haggar then struck with a fist followed by a rapid barrage with the same hand. An uppercut sent him off his feet, to which Haggar struck Adam West back down with a double hammerfist. He looked down at the results of this combo, but found that Adam West, aside from a few bruises on his face and creases in his suit, was still going strong, hopping back to his feet.
"I know you can do better than that, Haggar."
"You want me to go all out?!"
Haggar the flexed with such ferocity that his suit's top and shirt were torn right off him, his tie flying with the wind. Now Haggar's upper body was free with only a brown bandolier over his shoulder attached to his belt.
"You've got it, West!"
Both were locked in place, punching at each other with neither trying to avoid each other's hits. Haggar then span in place with a double larriat, tanking the last punch Adam West landed before being knocked back. Mike struck Adam West's face with a downward punch, but was met by a headbutt to his chin. His face was then gripped before Haggar slammed him straight to the ground, leaving an Adam West-shaped hole in the street.
Seeing Adam West stuck in place, Haggar crouched...
"Body...!"
...leapt straight into the air, then came falling chest-first, flames building from the sheer speed.
"PRESS!!!"
The impact left a crater, debris scattering all across the sidewalk and dust surrounding Haggar, who looked down at the rubble, seeing no remains of his mayoral opponent.
"An actor's no match for a wrestler!"
He coughed from what he realized was smoke being produced by a small cannister...
"But you're forgetting one thing, old chum..."
Haggar turned in the direction of Adam West's voice, seeing a sillouette with a cape, gloves with fin-esque points, and two small ears atop it.
The smoke cleared, revealing Adam West in a blue and black mask with white eyebrows drawn by his eyes, and a grey and blue costume with an iconic emblem on his chest.
"I'm Batman."
As Haggar was about to bring a fist down on his opponent, Adam West struck him on the jaw with a two-handed swing. Suddenly, a comic-style "BAM!" emerged into thin air, after which Haggar was launched even further upward out of the crater.
Adam West threw his batrope at a street light, then walked up out of the crater while Haggar was still recovering from that single hit. Reaching into his yellow utility belt, Adam West tossed a barrage of batarangs at Haggar, who swung at them with such strength that they were either knocked away or broke in two.
One last batarang was tossed right at his face, then shattered completely upon contact with Haggar's mustache. Even as Batman, Adam West's jaw dropped at this feat.
Haggar then reached for and picked up his iconic lead pipe, walking towards the stunned Adam West...
...who pressed on a tiny remote attached to his utility belt.
Mike stopped upon hearing what sounded like a chirp, then turned to his side, hearding something fast approaching him.
The TV Batmobile slammed right into Haggar, sending him into a large stack of barrels.
"Good thing I got that renewal on the bat-tering ram."
"You've made a big mistake, Adam!"
Adam West looked closer, seeing barrel after barrel thrown in his direction. He jumped over, ducked under, and sidestepped them...
...but found Haggar had jumped from his position, catching his falling lead pipe and was about to swing it down on him...
...to which he found it blocked by the bat-shaped batshield.
In spite of its impressive durability, Haggar continued slamming the lead pipe onto the shield, causing Adam West to stagger with each hit.
"I've tussled with the Hulk... and Galactus... and Ultron-Sigma!"
The last hit of Haggar's lead pipe knocked the batshield right out of Adam West's hands. As he was ready to swing it downward with two hands...
"What do you have that they didn't?"
Adam West held something in his hand...
"Only this."
Haggar saw a spray bottle pointed right at his chest.
TSS!
He was entirely unaffected by what Adam West was spraying. Once he read "Bat Shark", he had a good idea of what it was.
"How thoughtful of you. This'll help the next time I go for a swim."
As he got ready to swing the lead pipe down on Adam West once more...
"Look again."
Upon Adam West readjusting his hold on the spray can, Haggar could read the full name on the container:
"Bat Shark... Attractor? Now what good would that d...?"
A great white shark dropped right on top of Haggar, causing him to drop his lead pipe. From across the city, a massive number of sharks arced through the sky straight towards Haggar's location, piling on top of the mayor of Metro City.
Adam West began walking away, the pile of sharks atop of his opponent now like a small hill.
"♫Adam West. A-a-Adam West...♫"
His singing was interrupted by a roar so massive that windows across the city shattered. Adam West turned around back to see Haggar performing a double larriat of such power and speed that Haggar not only lifted himself off the ground, but created a tornado, launching the sharks far away from him.
"Great Scott!"
But Adam West wasn't shocked for long. He summoned his Batcycle and rode it as close as he could to the tornado without being pulled into it. Using the ejector seat, Adam launched himself straight towards the very top of the tornado that Haggar resided. He immediately drew the batshield and got behind it as he collided hard with Mike.
Another comic pop-up of "SLAM!" emerged as both Haggar and Adam West flew further into the sky. Adam punched at Haggar while blocking Mike's punches with the shield, the mayor of Metro City having to take several "POW!"s, "WHAM!"s, and other words.
Adam West then felt the batshield ripped out of his hands, dropping downward as Haggar then flipped him over.
"It's all over!"
He then grabbed hold of Adam West by his waist and began driving them both downward with a rapid spin, vying to slam him into the ground head first with a spinning piledriver.
Adam West wasn't sure if he had anything in his utility belt that could get him out of this...
...so he clicked both heels in midair. Suddenly, jets of flames were fired from Adam West's boots, causing the two to spin even more rapidly. Now Haggar found himself losing control, Adam West slipping free of his grip.
"Huh?!"
He couldn't believe what came next: now Adam West was performing the same technique he was and Haggar couldn't escape.
"How?! You've got no muscle in that suit!"
"Not molded plastic. Pure West."
An old gentleman in a red shirt was out walking his dog when he saw Haggar and Adam West spinning and descending straight down into the city in the distance.
"Holy spinning piledriver!"
Now Haggar lied completely dazed in a superheated crater from the speed of the spinning piledriver. He opened his eyes, seeing the blurry figure that was his opponent still battle-ready. As much as he begrudged it, Haggar knew he was finished.
"You... win."
He then saw Adam West, back in his blue suit and red tie, reaching his hand out to him to help him back up. Haggar took it and upon standing, the two shook hands.
"You really are number one, Adam."
"You're not so bad yourself, Mikey. After all, you've been a mayor since '89."
Adam West then put his other hand on Haggar's with a smile.
"Now keep up the good work."
Haggar smiled back at him.
"I'll do my best."
He soon realized he didn't feel anything touching his hand...
...with no sign of the old mayor in sight. He felt a gust of wind and saw something paper-like flowing in it. Catching it, he held it out in front of him:
A signed photo of Adam West.
Check out more blog battles below.
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