Angry Video Game Nerd vs Rick Sanchez is the eighth What-If? Death Battle by GoCommitDi. It features the Angry Video Game Nerd from the namesake series, and Rick Sanchez from Rick and Morty.
Description[]
Angry Video Game Nerd vs Rick and Morty! Which foul-mouthed alcoholic will outnerd the other in a battle to the death?
Intro[]
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7w-_F_VgMY)
Wiz: Nerds are often portrayed as morbidly obese basement dwellers.
Boomstick: But not these two crude, intelligent and sarcastic alcoholics from raunchy shows.
Wiz: James Rolfe, the Angry Video Game Nerd himself...
Boomstick: ...and Rick Sanchez, the interdimensional criminal, and the genius grandfather of Morty Smith.
Wiz: He's Boomstick, and I'm Wiz.
Boomstick: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Pre-Fight Poll[]
Angry Video Game Nerd Thinks DEATH BATTLE is Dogshit![]
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qorFHyOVSsc)
Wiz: He's gonna take you back to the past!
Boomstick: To play the- Wait a minute. No no no no no. I can see through your tricks, Wiz. I am not going to sing just to introduce a damn character.
Wiz: Just this once, Boomstick, please?
Boomstick: Hell no.
Wiz: I'm not gonna laugh at you or anything.
Boomstick: Look, we're ANALYZING! And NOT singing!
Wiz: ...fair enough. On-topic, the Angry Video Game Nerd is a retro game critic from Fucksville, California, who, in the words of his own theme, plays the shitty games that suck ass.
Boomstick: His job is to review the worst video games imaginable. He's been through Superman 64, E.T. on the Atari 2600, Plumbers Don't Wear Ties, Hotel Mario, Zelda's CD-i series, all of Bugs Bunny's Crazy Castle, and even Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!
Wiz: Over the years, the Nerd has achieved many feats, such as being known as one of the most iconic reviewers on the Internet.
Boomstick: He defeated the Nostalgia Critic, Bugs Bunny, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, R.O.B., an invisible Mega Man V boss, Fred Fuchs, demons...
Wiz: ...and most importantly, Death Mwauthzyx. Why is he important? We'll get to him once we begin discussing the Nerd's strength.
Boomstick: The Nerd successfully escaped from a dangerous tomb, touched the Truth of the Universe, and starred in his own movie!
Wiz: But we're not here to write the Nerd's biography. Today, we're here to talk about how he can hold his own in a fight.
Boomstick: He's a hell lot stronger than he looks. To start off with, he is strong enough to trade blows with Bugs Bunny, not once, but TWICE!
Wiz: Now we don't intend to drift offtopic here, but let it be known that Bugs is tough enough to tank an explosion that wiped out the moon, saw off Florida within seconds, survive a gust of wind that could blow away the Sun, consistently injure Yosemite Sam (who fought Marvin so hard that they created a constellation), and hurt Daffy, who no-sold a planet-busting bomb, getting sucked into a black hole, and among other antics on this level!
Boomstick: The Nerd could create an explosion that quickly expanded across our own galaxy, the Milky Way!
Wiz: When sufficiently angry, he can shatter the fabric of space itself!
Boomstick: He defeated Death Mwauthzyx, the creator of both God and Satan who has the power to cease life as we know it with a single 360-degree turn from his head! Upon doing so, all six dimensions will be flattened into one point, thus ending existence.
Wiz: The Nerd was able to damage Fred Fuchs, who can create a parallel universe, he shouted loud enough to cause an earthquake, and with help, he defeated Giygas.
Boomstick: He lifted a 1,000,000 ton Atari 5200 AC adapter, and he can rip out spinal cords.
Wiz: In order to perform the latter feat, you would need to generate a force much greater than 3,000 Newtons, which is equal to a 500-pound car slamming into a wall at 30 miles per hour.
Boomstick: He pummeled Jason Voorhees just by using an NES controller, with Jason being powerful enough to smash down metal doors, cut off 3 heads in a row, flip cars over, survive being inside an exploding van, casually walk through rapid-fire bullets, and endure toxic waste being spewed in his face!
Wiz: The Nerd once knocked out a great white shark with a single punch, he successfully slayed a goblin, defeated the might of two Satans, and he can throw a game cartridge hard enough to ignite the hydrogen in the air and create an explosion.
Boomstick: He physically contended against The Joker and proceeded to - please take this serious - shove every bad Batman game up his ass.
Wiz: Somehow, he is able to do push-ups with his THUMBS!
Boomstick: He nonchalantly tossed Independence Day on the PS1 hard enough to send it flying across the world. And once it landed, he took the explosion.
Wiz: When it comes to durability, he's as sturdy as he is strong. He tanked being in the center of the galaxy explosion he caused, and he withstood blows from Death Mwauthzyx, Bugs Bunny, Giygas, and the Nostalgia Critic!
Boomstick: Remember that Independence Day disc feat from seconds ago? Of course you do. Well, about that, he survived getting hit in the face by his younger self performing said feat.
Wiz: He didn't have a single scratch on him after crashing a spaceship from space and into the Grand Canyon. Oh, speaking of space, he can breathe in the vacuum of it unprotected. And when he was in close proximity to a nuclear explosion, you know what he did? He simply laughed like it was nothing.
Boomstick: He has been struck by several objects, such as anvils and bricks. After getting continuously blasted by electricity, he was only dazed.
Wiz: He survived a dynamite stick from Bugs blowing up in his face, and was merely irritated. And when he was completing Die Hard on the NES, he shrugged off multiple rounds of explosions that covered his room.
Boomstick: He survived a plane crashing into a lake, and he can sleep comfortably on lava!
Wiz: During his fight with Fred Fuchs, The Nerd survived the universe being destroyed. He also doesn't need his heart to function, as he once ripped it out of his chest and was perfectly fine!
Boomstick: For speed, The Nerd regularly dodges laser fire.
Wiz: How fast would he be, you may ask? Well, the speed of light goes at 186,282 miles per second, or 299,792 kilometers.
Boomstick: He can fly to the Sun in a matter of seconds, and he could keep up with the Giant Claw, who can fly across galaxies. On top of that, he can easily fight off hordes of enemies while riding through space in Silver Surfer's board.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d_U_Iw2RgY)
Wiz: During his fight with the Nostalgia Critic, he dodged gunfire, and could even do it at point-blank range!
Boomstick: His thumbs can move faster than a whirring fan blade, he outran an explosion, and he dodged hits from the Critic. So in short, he's a lot faster than what it seems.
Wiz: The Nerd also packs quite a lot of intelligence. After all, he is called a nerd. He built a spaceship capable of interplanetary travel, possesses encyclopedic knowledge on the entire history of video games, and he created the monster, FrankenNerd.
Boomstick: He is widely regarded as the best video game critic of all time and has even created a dictionary describing how shitty the games he plays are.
Wiz: He is an expertise in deciphering all sorts of codes and patterns, as well as solving the uttermost secret conspiracies.
Boomstick: Other inventions he has created apart from his spaceship are time machines, the Beat-a-Game Button, the Beer Droid, the Gyromite Controller, and much more! He was able to clone himself via his own shit, and once came up with a new cuss word.
Wiz: And despite being classified as a nerd, he is a combat genius. He knows how to defend himself against the evilest of villains, including godlike beings.
Boomstick: Getting on to his abilities, the Nerd has - believe it or not - Toon Force!
Wiz: Toon Force is a comedic form of reality warping, allowing the user to defy the laws of physics. An example of some of its users are characters from your childhood, such as Bugs Bunny of course, SpongeBob SquarePants, Tom & Jerry, Homer Simpson, Mickey Mouse, and Ed, Edd n Eddy.
Boomstick: The Nerd is able to regenerate from grievous injuries immediately. He has been decapitated, dismembered, and even blown up!
Wiz: He can pull out random objects from his rear end or pockets, which is a power otherwise known as Hammerspace.
Boomstick: He can make games bleed, turn the entire world black-and-white, transform enemies into beer bottles and NES cartridges, and glitch up a video by Nostalgia Critic.
Wiz: He can even enter video games and bring game characters into the real world!
Boomstick: He can resurrect people by saying "A, B, B, A", and he has even brought himself back to life on numerous occasions! Speaking of death, he is able to physically interact with intangible beings, such as data.
Wiz: He has fragokinesis powers, being capable of spontaneously exploding things just by flipping them off and dropping literal F-bombs!
Boomstick: He can manipulate energy, as he can perform Ryu's Hadouken, and Guile's Sonic Boom!
Wiz: Hopefully Capcom doesn't sue us.
Boomstick: Whaddya mean?
Wiz: The Nerd originates from ScrewAttack, which is a former division of our company, Rooster Teeth.
Boomstick: Oh, right. Uhh, where the hell were we? Oh! The Nerd can somehow control weather, as he can manifest storms and lightning within his own room!
Wiz: He can manipulate time as well. In his review of Seaman on the Dreamcast, he moved forwards and backwards through time, and in Beavis and Butthead, he turned the day into night. In Mega Man Games, he traveled back in time to meet his past selves.
Boomstick: The Nerd can control both heat and ice. His copy of Superman 64 has heat vision, and he completely froze the Mortal Kombat cartridge!
Wiz: However, the Nerd's strongest natural ability is the fact he can manipulate the odds. While wearing the Power Glove, he accidentally completed Zelda II: The Legends of Link, which was a feat he considered impossible, and on another occasion, he unintentionally received the golden Nintendo World Championship cartridge in an eBay purchase.
Boomstick: Lloyd Kaufman, Macaulay Culkin and the Pepsi TV game guy all came to his room during the respective games he was playing, and when he hit his clumsy friend Keith against the chimney with a golf club, bricks came down and he caught fire!
Wiz: Now, let's go over the Nerd's equipment. First and foremost, he has...the Power Glove.
Boomstick: It's so bad.
Wiz: It's strong enough to smash through stone, create immediate explosions, and defeat Freddy Krueger whilst in the dream realm.
Boomstick: Up next is the Nerd's favorite beverage - Rolling Rock.
Wiz: Upon consumption, his health will be fully restored.
Boomstick: With the NES Zapper, he can fire streams of lasers!
Wiz: It helped him defeat Jason Voorhees by obliterating his head, and it holds infinite ammunition.
Boomstick: But what's more powerful, is his Super Scope, functioning exactly like a bazooka. It also has infinite ammo, and it was able to one-shot Hypno-Tyrant and the Atari Frankenstein. He also owns a Sega Menacer, which is just as powerful, and the Atari 2600 Flight Commander Gun, which is fired like a machine gun.
Wiz: The Laserscope allows him to see invisible opponents and shoot lasers from its removable head module.
Boomstick: He once wielded a katana, which he used to slash TMNT III, and a goddamn lightsaber!
Wiz: He also owns a flamethrower, which he used to burn CD32 to a crisp.
Boomstick: And while it isn't something he casually stores in his pockets all the time, he owns a pet cat named Boo.
Wiz: Cute, right? Well, don't let his looks deceive you. Boo is a ferocious cat who is willing to sic on enemies when the Nerd commands him to, such as the Atari Jaguar logo.
Boomstick: The Nerd can summon the Glitch Gremlin, who will proceed to halt opponents and dangerous obstacles with his glitches.
Wiz: The grand motherload of all his items would have to be his Super NES Power Suit, which gives him a tremendous boost in power. It is composed of an NES Advantage, two dual-wielded Zappers, the Power Pad, the Laserscope, the U-Force, and the Power Glove!
Boomstick: He can call upon the Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 B.C. Version 4.0 Beta for help.
Wiz: This bad boy defeated Satan and can one-shot any enemy in the Nerd's way!
Boomstick: Jeez, can anything stop the Nerd?
Wiz: It's funny you mention that, because he does have his weaknesses.
Boomstick: The Nerd lives up to his name by suffering from an incredibly short temper, and he is prone to immaturity.
Wiz: He is gullible at times, leaving him open to being tricked, and he had no idea what an Xbox 360 was. Whenever he's pushed past his limits, he will swear uncontrollably and drink enormous amounts of Rolling Rock. And while he does have combat experience, he certainly isn't the most strategic fighter, as he rarely thinks of direct plans.
Boomstick: But regardless, underestimating the Nerd in combat is a fatal mistake.
Nerd: I would rather put my balls in a crocodile's mouth while shoving my head up a unicorn's asshole!
Rick Sanchez Turned Himself Into a Pickle in DEATH BATTLE![]
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dhNReml4SQ)
Wiz: Who said elderly folks are always dementia-driven retirees who complain about video games "causing violence"? Sometimes they're born geniuses who regularly invent gadgets that far surpass modern technology.
Boomstick: Like Rick Sanchez of C-137.
Wiz: Very little is known about Rick's background, other than a few vague statements said throughout the series. In his college days, he was a bassist in a rock band. At some point, Rick had a daughter named Beth Smith, but as she grew older, Rick went away from the family for twenty years.
Boomstick: Rick goes on adventures across the multiverse every day, always dragging along his awkward teenage grandson, Morty. While Rick may be a nihilistic alcoholic, he is quite an extraordinary genius, and these adventures have lead to him accomplishing many impressive feats.
Wiz: And these include, but are not limited to, gaining a vast criminal record across the universe, dismantling the Galactic Frederation, surviving an encounter with a Freddy Krueger parody, building an amusement park inside a homeless man, tricking interstellar scammers into blowing themselves up, outsmarting Mr. Needful to the point where he attempted suicide, saving Earth from being blown up, and taking down an entire Russian agency as a pickle!
Boomstick: While blackout drunk, he slaughtered feared supervillain Worldender and rigged the Vindicators' headquarters with a bunch of Saw-esque traps. I sure could take notes from this guy!
Wiz: In the same day, he made peace between Palestine and Israel, fought the president, forced him to submit, made the White House a complete mess, AND tricked him into thinking he was a Rick from an alternate universe just to make peace!
Boomstick: Naturally, you're going to need some strength in you if you're this crazy and intelligent. Fortunately, Rick has some unexpected physicals for someone his age.
Wiz: He is not superhuman by any means, but as Boomstick implied, he's still tougher than a real life elderly man. To start off with, he is strong enough to push over a vat, beat up crab-like creatures, and kick open locked doors.
Boomstick: He overpowered an alien, kicked a fat man off of him, snapped an alien's neck, contended with the president, and broke a cybernetic snake in half.
Wiz: For durability, Rick was bashed through several floors in the White House, and was uninjured. The worst that happened to him was his clothes being roughed up, but even after sustaining that feat, he immediately continued fighting the president!
Boomstick: He withstood getting punched by Morty's giant arm, which could bust off the heads of mutants and tear off limbs.
Wiz: He took a beating from his Toxic self, which included getting tossed through a glass door. It shouldn't be faulty to assume Toxic Rick is physically on par with the actual Rick thanks to this.
Boomstick: He could still walk around after getting shot in the liver by a laser. And keep in mind Rick's liver is supposedly the hardest working in the galaxy.
Wiz: He has endured a drill to the chest, a beating from the Zeus-like being Reggie, and having his face dragged through a metal wall at high speeds!
Boomstick: Rick can run pretty damn fast for someone his age. He can outrun alien guards and large monsters. But what's even better than that, is how he can dodge a speeding crossbow arrow at point-blank range!
Wiz: He briefly dodged energy blasts, although one did manage to hit him in the chest. However, Rick isn't about physicals. His greatest aspect is his intelligence.
Boomstick: That's right, Wiz. Rick may have the personality of a frat boy douche like yours truly, but he is a lot smarter than he looks. He is often considered the smartest man in his universe, and has shown he doesn't need a lab to invent futuristic gadgets; he does it every day out of his daughter's garage.
Wiz: In the duration of a few seconds, he created a sentient robot just so it could pass butter during breakfast, and he granted the family's pet dog highly advanced intelligence through an IQ-enhancing helmet, although this did heavily backfire. I know you're in need of a helmet like that, Boomstick.
Boomstick: You son of a-
Wiz: He could tell he was inside a simulation while inside yet another simulation, and in the same episode, he outsmarted interstellar scammers into blowing themselves up!
Boomstick: He once used science to get rid of curses from magical objects. Say, can I hire him to kill Fairy Tail characters?
Wiz: Rick is highly resourceful. Even when he's limited on his normal inventions, he will use any object in his surroundings to craft devices, such as when he crafted a combat suit out of wood, and when he rigged a series of traps to dispatch the Vindicators, or when he turned himself into a pickle and used office supplies and rat parts to make himself a force to be reckoned with.
Boomstick: And let me tell you something. When he turned himself into a pickle, that was the funniest shit I've ever seen.
Wiz: Rick is able to disguise himself when need be, although his disguises are incredibly obvious and would only work on a simpleminded individual. Like Boomsti-
(static)
Boomstick: He has created a microverse populated with intelligent life to run his spaceship's power, a pocket dimension for Summer to safely reside in, a toilet that humiliates anybody who shits in it, robotic copies of his grandchildren, headphones that allowed Morty to speak to animals, and a giant heist robot!
Wiz: He is quite charming, as he once stated 20 people try to kill him every week, and he ends up getting intoxicated with half of them.
Boomstick: Man, I hope I can hang out with this guy!
Wiz: With great intelligence like this, comes his multitude of inventions. The first on the list is his main weapon - the trademark Portal Gun. It allows him to travel across different dimensions.
Boomstick: While it is impressive, it has flaws. It can be destroyed very easily, it needs to be charged, and Rick cannot see through his portals. So if he were to open up a portal to the Blender Dimension, then he's as dead as a dodo.
Wiz: Not only does it grant him the ability to explore the multiverse, but it can be used offensively as well. Shall a portal be opened where his opponent is standing, it'll rip them apart. It is also a great defense item, as he once used it to provide him and Morty with a safe landing after a long fall.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRk39ET65G8)
Boomstick: He owns a spaceship, made from "stuff he found in the garage". Powered by a microscopic universe, it is fast enough to travel 800 years in a brief timespan and go to different corners of the galaxy within seconds.
Wiz: It is built in with its own security system that has immense firepower, and considering how the ship can pull the Earth and is durable enough to take a hit from a laser that destroyed a small asteroid, you certainly don't want to carjack it!
Boomstick: His own lab coat is a weapon itself. He has a small bomb stashed inside that detonates after he gets freed from being physically caught by an opponent.
Wiz: He has numerous self-explanatory devices, such as numerous ray guns, a jet pack, an "everything magnet", a particle watch, a freeze ray, a time stopping button, a disintegration bomb, a grappling hook, grenades, a memory erasing gun, a forcefield watch, a shrink ray, wall-walking shoes, a curse remover, an anti-matter pistol, adhesive liquid, and drones.
Boomstick: If Rick knows he's about to die, he will use a little something called his rebirth gun to good use. To make it work, he injects a syringe into his neck before firing it out into his opponent. Once it hits the enemy, they die, whereas an entirely new Rick is formed.
Wiz: His body is armed with cybernetic augmentations all over, almost similarly to mine. With these, he is able to turn his arm into a weapon that can steal weapons from opponents, protect his heart from piercing weapons, instantly kill a man that touched him, replace a missing arm, electrocute a man trying to choke him, check on several agents that were about to shoot him, and likely identify the president's "Invisitroopers".
Boomstick: It even has a hidden gun from his belt buckle that will shoot out a laser if he gets kicked in the nuts! I wish I had something like that in middle school...
Wiz: With Death Crystals, he can foresee possible death scenarios during combat, although it does have a drawback - he cannot see what happens AFTER he potentially dies.
Boomstick: The Meeseeks Box summons blue creatures named Mr. Meeseeks who will go great lengths to follow Rick's orders since they view existing as painful. The longer they stay alive, the crazier they get.
Wiz: They will supposedly never die unless their task is fulfilled and can call other Meeseeks for assistance if their duty is too difficult for them to accomplish.
Boomstick: He also owns a power suit not unlike Tony Stark's. This baby has armor covering his body, machine guns, missiles, lasers, shoe rockets, a buzzsaw, and a wrist-mounted flamethrower!
Wiz: And it can even...play music.
Boomstick: But as smart as this old man is, he's not one without his flaws.
Wiz: Without his inventions, Rick is just a highly fit elderly man, and he can be put down by anything that can kill or incapacitate a normal human.
Boomstick: Despite his cybernetic defenses, Rick has been overpowered on several occasions, and was once even drugged by an alien.
Wiz: Rick is incredibly egotistical, which can lead to trouble for him and has caused him to underestimate his opponents. Speaking of, he doesn't always carry all of his inventions on him, as some of them are stored in his garage. This includes his spaceship.
Boomstick: His portal gun can run out of power, which means he'll be left stranded if he puts himself in a universe on low battery. He also cannot see through the portals.
Wiz: Believe it or not, but he has a fear of squirrels and pirates. Contrary to popular belief, Rick does not open with stopping time; it's something he hates doing, and it is only a last resort for him. And to put the cherry on top of the sundae, his best feats are accomplished through preparation.
Boomstick: Regardless, Rick Sanchez packs more heat than Hell and will screw you up if you mess with his family!
Rick: You don't know what I am, and you don't know what I can do! I'm Doctor Who in this motherfucker! I could be a clone, I could be a hologram - we could be clones controlled by robots controlled with special headsets that the real Rick and Morty are wearing while they're fucking your mother!
Interlude[]
A coin is flipped, and it lands on heads. Looks like the Nerd will have the homefield advantage.
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!
Pre-Fight[]
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J0H5ah1G7A)
The Nerd was walking through his bedroom, trying to find out what shitty game he should review today. "Well, skin me alive and fuck me in the ass with a bucket of grease," the Nerd told his audience. "By this point, I think I've played every clusterfuck of bad games there are. Silver Surfer, Little Red Hood, Castlevania II, Action 52, Ghostbusters, and dare I say the five forbidden words...Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde."
As he dug around his shelves even more, he couldn't find one game he has already taken you back to the past with. "By this point, there must be some goddamn universe where I've stooped down to rock bottom. Maybe I changed my name to something like The Irate Gamer."
Well, it was funny he said "universe", because from a nearby distance, a puke-green portal opened up, and out came a gray-skinned, blue-haired lanky man wearing a lab coat and brown khakis. He was none other than Rick Sanchez. "The fuck was that?" the Nerd questioned. He went to investigate the source of the noise.
"This is-urp-already a lame universe," Rick told himself. "This is exactly what the bedroom of an introverted high school dropout looks like. But I'm here for the SZECHAUN SAUCE!!!"
"Hey you!" the Nerd shouted, pointing at him. Rick perked his head up in alert. "Easy there, tiger."
"What the hell do you think you're doing in here?" he questioned the older one. "I know we're in America, but you can't just break and enter on someone's property."
"Well, for-bbbuuuurrrrppp-one, we're partaking in a series called Death Battle," Rick responded. "Why? Likely because the author feels sexually repressed."
"That makes sense, I'll give you that," the Nerd said, nodding his head.
"And two, I'm here for your McDonald's Szechaun sauce! The world's-uuurrrrppp-tastiest sauce!" the father of Beth Smith explained. "The fuck?" the glasses-sporting geek questioned, until everything hit him like a boomerang. "Oh, you mean the Szechaun sauce. Well, must suck to be you; I treasure it as much as I do with Rolling Rock!"
"Too-uuuuuurrrrrrppppp-bad," Rick declared. "Hand me all of it, or your Dungeons & Dragons days are over."
The Nerd wasn't having any of it. "I would rather have a raccoon vomit on my scrotum while asphyxiating myself with a tampon! And clearly, you don't know who you're dealing with; I'm the fucking Angry Video Game Nerd!"
"Ehh, you look like my tax collector, if anything," Rick retorted, readying his portal gun. "Now let me take you to a place where you'll have your mouth washed out for such foul-uurrrpp-language."
His finger pulled the trigger, which the Nerd quickly dodged. Upon getting back up, he only had one thing to say.
