Dream smp vs Team fortress 2! These two blood thirsty Anti-heroes, who are big fans of sun tzu, will be going head to head! Who will win?
Let's find out![]
Carter locke: Technoblade, the blood god
Nathan: The soldier, the most bloodthirsty of the tf2 mercs!
Carter: War and violence may be a dangerous place for anybody, but it's child plays for these two! But who properly makes war it's bitch? Let's find out!
Nathan: he's carter and I'M NATHAN!
Carter: and it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win...
A DEATH BATTLE!!!
The soldier[]
Nathan: AMERICA! the land of freedom, prosperity-
Carter: And the land of slavery, death, and the ability to drop the sun on their enemies. Yeah, this place is not the greatets place, and when it comes to the inhabitants, they are pretty damn great!
Nathan: There are many great American video game heroes, but one of the most Uniqe individuals, is The soldier!
Carter: The soldier was rejected from every rank in the army, even navy! (Somehow) So he self trained himself with a rocket launcher, and went on a rampage, killing 6,000 Nazis! And somehow evaded the police for four years after he pulled that stunt off! (Again, SOMEHOW)
Nathan: Soldier specialises in the most American weapon: the Rocket launcher! But the thing is: he has multiple! Like the direct impact, which is faster than the normal rocket launcher, yet has a smaller blast radius. The Beggars bazooka, which can fire multiple rockets, yet has to load the three rockets before it fires. The air strike, which can fire a barrage of rockets if in the air!
Carter: A rocket launcher that gives HP when it hits somebody, A rocket launcher that deals 0 damage, yet propels Soldier into the air, a weapon that DESINTERGRATES PEOPLE WHEN IT KILLS THEM! Yeah, he has quite the arsenal.
Nathan: He doesn't only carry rocket launchers. He also carry shotguns! Like the normal shotgun, the Panic attack, that doesn't suffer from RBS-
Carter: RBS?
Nathan: RBS: Random bullet spread.
Carter: AHHHH. He also has the reserve shooter, which can deal mini-crits in the air, and he has multiple banners! Like the buff banner, which can give him and his friends Mini-crits, the Battalions backup, which makes him and his team immune to possible the worst theing in all of tf2: Random crits. And the choncheor, which effectively gives him health regen!
Nathan: He can send a man flying to the opposite end of a room, while also snapping their necks, can scale to scout, who can send heavy flying in a single hit, (Which should take around 18 tons of tnt) can survive his own rockets hitting him, and can dodge Cow Mangler 5000 and Righteous Bison shots, which have outright been stated to be FTL.
Carter: FT- What?
Nathan: FTL. Faster Than Light.
Carter: Plus, he can come back to life with his "Kill me come back stronger" pills!
Nathan: Yet he has faults. For instance: He is hot headed, he's not very intelligent, he is the most bloodthirsty of the mercs, his sanity is questionable, his ammo is limited and he is slow without rocket launcher.
Carter: yet despite his flaws, this is one soldier you do not want to fight, and if you hear this man rocket jumping at you, you best pray to god that he thinks your on his team.
Fly high, rick may...
Technoblade[]
Carter: The dream smp. there are lots of people here, like a homeless teletubby, a young annoying british child, A old man, even two different mobs! but none, are quite as uniqe or as powerful as the blood god, the destroyer of L'manburg, Technoblade.
"Blood for the blood god!"
Nathan: Technoblade, being one of the other 3 gods in this universe. with the other two are Philza and DreamXD.
Carter: He has the standard minecraft arsenal, consisting of netherite armour, netherite weapons, Elytra, crossbow and explosive arrows, water bucket and totem of undying.
Nathan: he also has like, what, 20 quintillion blocks? we would be here all day if we started to get into them.
Carter: He is incredible skilled, able to fight up to 21 players, with assistance from 2 other players! By running the maths, Technoblade and his two other friends must be fighting three 7 v 1!
Nathan: And might we mention: He and his two friends won that fight! While also beating a bunch of other teams in this hunger games styled adventure!
Carter: He's won Minecraft monday 4 times! that's more than any other youtuber in the history of minecraft itself, and has won Mcc 2 times. (Mcc 4 and Mcc 8) and he has gotten the PIG status. That's a status nobody else has gotten!
Nathan: He has gotten a 1,818 win streak, taken over the entire world, can scale to the wither, who is superior to the ender dragon! The Ender dragon is strong enough to shatter diamond blocks! We ran the maths, and that would be equal to around 5 kilotons!
Carter: That's around city block level! Holy cow! And in just one punch! Plus, he can dodge beams of light and tank blows that can level buildings!
Nathan: Plus, he won against Dream, who was one of the greatest duelist of all of minecraft history! And he just casually beat him!
Carter: Yet he isn't flawless. For instance: He is somewhat cocky and overconfident, he can be hot-headed, and tends to rush into some situations.
Nathan: yet despite his flaws, Technoblade is a great fighter, and not somebody you want to dance with!
"You want to be the hero, Tommy? THEN DIE LIKE ONE!!!"
Pre-fight[]
Carter: All right, the combatants are set, so let's end this debate once and for all!
Nathan: It's time for a death battle!
FIGHT![]
(Cue Bloody american war)
The camera would show the Sleepy boys inc. group all together inside Dream's original base and all were ready to give dream the fight of his life! Each member was decked out in full netherite armour and fully ready to beat the shit out of Dream...
But that wasn't going to happen.
Dream: You all really think you can beat me?! Behold!
Dream suddenly began charging a massive ball of energy, as the members of the looked at him in shock, unsure what to do
Tommy: What the Fuck?!
Technoblade: HEEEEEEEE?!
Philza: What the fuck?!
Wilbur: That's new!
Dream: Like it? Dream XD gave me these powers, and now, I'm going to use them to banish all of you!
Sleepy boys inc.: NOOOOOO-
The sleepy boys didn't get to finish their sentence as Dream threw the ball at the four, teleporting them to god knows where!
Meanwhile, in dustbowl...
BLU team had RED team on the run, and was just about to capture the objective, when suddenly:
Technoblade: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Suddenly, Technoblade landed on the scout and spy, crushing them.
???: Holy mary mother joseph!
Technoblade slowly pulled himself up, and when he looked up, he saw the soldier staring at him!
Soldier: Gray mann must be getting desperate, if he's sending pigs to fight us proud Americans!
Techno: HEEEE!? Where am i?
Soldier: Your in BLU Territory, son! But i can tell you already knew that, your RED scum!
Techno: Red- Hey! At least i don't look like a retired world war 2 vetarin!
Soldier: (Gasp) I got these weapons from the cold dead hands of my American allies! I'm a true soldier, and I bet your not even a king!
Techno: You insult me, my clothes, now my Crown?! That's it!
Techno pulled out the axe of peace and charged at Soldier, who pulled out his rocket launcher, and fired multiple shots at the blood god.
FIGHT!
Techno's eye's opened wide, as he jumped out of the way of the rockets, which went flying by. Techno dashed forward and attempted to cut of the Soldiers head, yet the soldier just rocket jumped out of the way, slightly damaging himself in the progress.
Soldier then proceded to pull out of the air strike, and fire a barrage of rockets at the Mcc champion, who was caught off guard, and was damaged by a few rockets, yet he evaded the rest, before drinking a splash potion of healing.
Techno decided to play more defensively, and took out his shield, which the soldier responded by laughing, then rocket jumping, and unloading the entire clip of the air stike on the shield...
Only for the shield to block almost all of them, except for one, which techno grabs and hurls back at the soldier, dealing damage to the merc with the rocket launcher.
Soldier: Holy-
Soldier was to stunned to speak. This pig had used his tiny shield, to block his ENTIRE BARRAGE, and then grabbed one rocket and threw it back at him! How dare he!
Soldier rocket jumped towards techno, with the attempt to market garden him, who jumped out of the way, yet soldier turned that failed market garden attempt, into a barel roll, with his panic attack in hand, which actually knocked Techno backwards.
Techno quickly sliced the shotgun in half, but the American soldier responed by firing his rocket launcher at techno's feat, knocking him into the air, before being launched backwards Via the reserve shooter.
Techno: AGGGHHHHH! That hurts!
Soldier: of course it hurts, son! This is real American weaponry!
Techno quickly took a swig from a healing potion, and dashed towards techno, but this time, by firing his crossbow multiple times, stopping soldier from rocket jumping away, so soldier took out Equalizer, and the two clashed, and for a moment, there was just silence as the two anti-heroes just held the clash together...
Until techno pushed soldier back and chopped the Equalizer in half, and kicked him away.
Soldier then proceded to pull out his most powerful weapon: The cow mangaler 6000. He fired multiple shots at Techno, which even he struggled to dodge, until he managed to close the distance, and right as Soldier fired his charged shot...
Techno fired a shot from his crossbow, which detonated the charge shot, and allowed techno to slice the cm6000 in half!
Soldier: God fucking dammit!
Techno: You keep on pulling weapons out, i'll chop them up!
The soldier decided to end this, and rocket jumped into the air, firing his last barrage from the air strike, before pulling out the direct hit, and firing a dircet critical shot towards techno!
Techno was so preoccupied from dodging the air strikes rockets, he didn't notice the direct hit rocket...
Until it was too late.
KABOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
(Pause music)
The explosion was so big, it launched soldier away, and into a nearby building! The soldier quickly got up, and saw nothing but smoke, so he sat down, triumphantly happy that he had defeated this pig ma-
(Cue Ghost at 2:26)
Suddenly, green energy exploded from the smoke, and it was revealed that Techno was currently using a totem of undying to resurect himself!
Soldier: What in the sam hell?!
Techno: YOU FOOL! TECHNOBLADE NEVA DIES!
The soldier charged forward, with full intent to blow Techno up, but techno jumped ontop of the rockets, allowing him to be propelled forward towards the Soldier, who fired multiple shots from the direct hit, yet Techno dodged, grabbed soldier, and brought the axe of peace down...
Decapitating the American merc with the rocket launcher.
Techno: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
Techno held the decapitated Soldier head in his hands, and proceded to crush it in his hands, somewhat familiar to another death battle.
The soldier colapsed onto the ground, before getting up, building a nether portal, and begining the long trip back home.
KO!
Results[]
Carter: Phew! Techno had me worried there for a second, but it's fine! We're fine.
Nathan: This was certainly a close battle. While the soldier was more destructive, faster VIA rocket jumping and had better ranged options, Techno had the other advantages where it counted.
Carter: Yeah, strength was a no brainer. Soldier could lift up to three empire state buildings, while soldier could send somebody across a room, while also snapping their knecks.
Nathan: "Oh but wait, isn't striking and lifting strength two different things?!"
Carter: True, but remember: Techno casually swings around diamond and gold armour and weapons like they are nothing! That certainly gives him striking AND lifting!
Nathan: They were around even in skill, durability and reaction speed, Techno took strength, bigger arsenal, not being insane, they would have stalemated, if it wasn't for one factor: Techno's reaction speed.
Carter: This essentially meant that Techno could just dodge all of the rockets, even the cow mangaler 6000 shots, And even if the Soldier COULD land a shot, techno's multiple healing potions could allow him just recover from all the damage.
Nathan: "But wait, what about the banners? And the Kill me, come back stronger pills? Couldn't that allow him to wi-"
(Carter proceded to pull out a sleep gun and shoot Nathan, knocking him unconscious.) Carter: While the banners could allow him some time, the only way to chage the banners is Via damage, which he wouldn't be able to do much of, because of Techno being able to just Matrix everything, and we don't know how long it takes for the kmcbs to res soldier.
Nathan: (Slowly wakes up) Don't do that! Anyway, While Soldier could certainly hold his own, Techno is just too strong, too sane, too smart and just had a bigger arsenal than the RED merc.
Carter: The soldier almost took a W, until his plans of bloody victory blew up in his face.
Nathan: The winner, is Technoblade!
259.97x259.97px
Advantages and disadvantages[]
Technoblade
- (+/-) Bigger, yet not as destructive arsenal
- (+) Much stronger
- (=) durable
- (+) Not insane
- (+/-) has a totem of undying, yet soldier is used to people who can come back to life
- (=) About equal in reaction speed
- (=) Even in skill
- (+) Smarts
- (-) Slower
- (-) Not as destructive as his opponent
- (-) Worse range options
The soldier
- (+) More destructive
- (+) Faster
- (+) Better range options
- (+/-) more destructive arsenal, yet not as big
- (-/+) Technoblade could revive himself, yet Soldier is used to that.
- (=) around equal in smarts
- (-) Dumber
- (=) Around equal in reaction speed
- (-) Weaker
- (=) durable
- (-) Insane
NEXT TIME![]
Next time on death battle!
Four fights...
"I did this, so I gotta fix it."
Seven deaths...
"Happy to be of service!"
What's the best way to end a season...
"TOP OF THE MORNING, ALL YA LADIES, MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE!"
Then with a winners battle royale?
"Blood for the blood god!"