| Markiplier VS Jacksepticeye Remake | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Season | 3 |
| Season Episode | 9 |
| Air date | 10-29-2021 |
| Written by | Cider621 |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous Metal Sonic Battle Royale |
Next Rex Splode VS Braixen |
Intro[]
Wiz: What is the YouTube dream
Boomstick: Get all the subscribers and play games all day!
And out of the holy trinity of gaming content, 2 of them have a small rivalry
Like Markiplier, the man with the smoothest voice
And, Jacksepticeye, the loud Irish man
We had these two battle before
But in the one-year anniversary since then we decided that we should give them a rematch
He’s Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
And it is our job to analyze their armor weapons and skills to find out who would win a Deathbattle.
Markiplier[]
Hello everybody his name is Markiplier
Mark Edward Fischbach is an interesting fellow
Yeah with multiple awards and 30 million subscribers you’d be forgiven for not knowing he’s short
Boomstick, he’s average height
He’s under 6 feet
By 2 inches
When you get a lady Wiz, you’ll know that 2 inches will matter
Is that why your Ex-wife left you
I-
Anyway Markiplier is incredibly tough able to create craters by just punching
Yeah, measuring the crater he must’ve punched that clown with a force of 7.8 tons of TNT
He can tank falling down the Grand Canyon 7 times? That's enough time to reach speeds of 127mph
That’s 23 miles below Terminal Velocity!
He also was impaled with 11 spikes 3 going through his head, had his head popped and instantly re-grew it
Didn't he also act just fine with one leg, even if he was pissed he lost it
Yes
He even once tanked a Nuclear Blast
That's just the beginning, he can breathe in space and once screamed so loud a distant planet could hear him
How far was said distant planet?
If we guess that it’s the closest Earth-like planet then around 4-light-years
Wait a second! I thought you couldn’t hear things in space!
Uh, yeah, he just somehow was able to will his voice into travelling not only in Space but across a diameter of at least 4-light-years
What about the time he walked to Africa?
Previously we assumed he did it in 20 hours, not taking into consideration the timezones, so instead of 20 hours, he did it in at least 8 hours.
Assuming it was Noon when he left, as the sun was hitting his house directly, by the time he made it to Kenya it was sunrise
And using the same math, of how much faster running is than walking his running speed must be, 4,809 mph
That’s hypersonic levels of speed, Mach 6.2 in fact
He can also floof his hair multiplying his power an unknown amount
Mark however, does have his kryptonite, in the form of if he gets to angry he'll die
Like when he was playing Vanish and he was right there until he died, damn mole people
He also has a Helicopter and a Jet
Where the hell did he get those?
Pewdiepie asked the same question
And?
He bought Jet from the internet
And the Helicopter?
It was a bonus with the jet
…
…
| “ | Bye Bye! | „ |
Jacksepticeye[]
Top of the mornin' to ya laddies his name is Jacksepticeye
Wiz: Seán William McLoughlin is a-
Who?
Oh- uh Jack’s real name is Seán
No-way let me look it up
You do that, anyway he’s an Irish m-
My God you’re right
I know, anyway S-
Why isn’t he called Seánsepticeye?
...just, nevermind
He can bench press about 2,400 pounds
Must be swole as hell
He took a grenade at point blank and a giant stone sword crushing him, measuring the size of the sword we can deduce that Jack was hit with 535.5 tons of force
And he also fell from the sky to 20 feet underground that's enough to reach speeds of 115 mph
Let alone the sheer force of busting through the ground
Well that’s nothing to the time he got hit full on by an 18-wheeler full of gas, which exploded, and he was fine
I mean that is really impressive
Or the time he got shot 14 times in his leg, which all left giant holes, and he performed normally
Also impressive
What about the time he drank soup with 23 bottles of rat poison dumped in it that’s a sign of a lit tummy, he would've loved Mama Boomsticks cooking
You mean, your Mom put rat poison in her cooking?
Well, you don’t want rats eating the food do you?
Why is it in a position for rats to get it in the first place?
Uhhhh...anway he one flew from the ground to space fast enough to go 774,400
He can also create 4.9 million copies of himself
And breathe in space as well as underwater
He can also grow to be larger than Pluto, it even bumped into him while in orbit
Wait wait! How strong would he have to be to do that!
Given how heavy and how fast Pluto is, it must’ve hit Jack with a force of 4.4 petatons of TNT
Holy shit and that’s not even counting his powerful boss mode where his chest glows green like when he kicked that little shits ass
Billy did nothing wrong.
Said another wimp
I- hey…
| “ | Like a BOSS!!! | „ |
Pre-Battle[]
Alright, with the combatants all set and the data run through all possibilities, let's end this debate once and for all
It's time for a Death battle!
Battle[]
Once again in a dark void
Darkiplier: You’re just salty that your pathetic little Irish man lost to my “Buffoon”
Antisepticeye: I had them re-re-reanalyzed-ed-ed Glitching around like usual
Darkiplier: I'm sure he’d still take victory, nothing much has changed since then
Antisepticeye: How can you be sure?
Darkiplier: I’ll prove it again with him
Cut to Googleplier
Googleplier: You want me to simulate a fight between them again? Hm...very well…
Bingiplier: I gotta see this bro
Mark and Jack are once again teleported to a simulation
Googleplier: This is another simulation defeat the other gain freedom.
They fall for it again and get ready to fight
Mark: Runs up and punches Jack causing a crater but Jack stays standing
Jack: Flies back and dashes towards him grabbing him, dragging him through the ground
Mark: Digs his feet into the ground to stop him, then throwing him on the ground and punching him
Jack: Gets up and flies away travelling around the world to hit Mark in the back flinging him in the air, then rushing to catch up punching him twice through the air
Mark: Grabs Jack and a jet flies under him
Jack: Huh?
Mark: Throws Jack away to jump into the Jet
Jack: Flies in front of it
Mark: Take this douchebag! He unloads everything the Jet has at him
Jack: Tanks it all and flies into the jet blowing it up
Mark: Ejected from it as the Helicopter appears as he climbs in unloading everything once again
Jack: Tanking it once again
Jack, about to ram the Helicopter too before Mark jumps out and spiking Jack down, Jack hits the ground causing a dust explosion as Mark then lands on him causing another, he proceeds to wail on Jack
Jack: His voice from all-around Mark
Mark: Stands, all confused before seeing millions of Jack’s Uh oh-
Jack: Get him!
A bunch of Jack’s then pile on Mark, pummeling him
Jack: Stands up and laughs, the other Jack’s not on Mark laugh too huh?
A red glows shines from under the Jack’s
Mark: Floof the hair for POWER! The Jack’s are blasted away
Jack: Walks backward as the other Jack’s run at him
Mark constantly is throwing the Jack’s away as they all jump and attempt to get him as waves of them attempting to get at him keep coming and they don’t stop coming as the original Jack hit the ground running
Mark: Has a bruised and bloody face as he keeps throwing them off
A shadow looms over Mark
Mark: Looks back to see a giant Jack oh-
Jack: Stomps
Outside the simulation
Antisepticeye: HA!
Darkiplier: Faking sad...Oh wait...he can do that too
Back inside
Mark: Suddenly grows to match Jack and punches him out of Earth, jumping to meet him in Space, grabbing the Moon and throws it at him
Jack: Catches the Moon and puts it to the side before Mark rams in to punch him, who is blasted back when it lands as he tries to block Guh!
Mark: Propels himself forwards to chase punching him more still in his floof form
Jack: Closes his eyes as he focuses, his defense breaking as Mark continuously beats him. I'm the Boss...and I'll win...like a BOOOSS His chest glows green as Mark is blasted back this time. Take this! Grabs two asteroids from the Asteroid belt and throws them at him
Mark: Punches one making it explode as the other hits his face
Jack then flies at Mark grabbing him and heading for the sun
Mark: Looks back to the the top of Earth and
Timing it just right Mark plants his feet into the top of Earth cracking it immensely, remembering it’s a simulation so no-one is actually hurt, and using that he then hurls Jack turning his own momentum against him
Jacksepticey: OWAAAAH- a yellow outline forms around him before it’s revealed it’s the light of the Sun which he dips inside not only being incinerated but the sheer power in the Sun is enough to rip him apart
Outiside once again
Antisepticeye: DAMN
KO!!!
Results[]
Once again, awesome, but i’m confused; I know that their base forms are still the same but, what about giant Jack’s new upgrade
Well, the thing about that is, Mark also grew giant with him and as such would scale to the multiplier giant Jack had
Ohhh
So if Jack’s best base durability went from 484.4 tons of TNT to 4.4 petatons; imagine what Mark’s best of at least 1000 tons of TNT ,which is already over double, would be upgraded to
So Mark’s greater strength and durability net him a win again?
That’s right and Jack’s speed wouldn’t do him any favors besides running away, though being able to fly gave him a better control over the battlefield
And even if they didn’t go giant, Mark would win the same way as last time anyway, he even had better skill and healing
None of this is more clear then their leg ,or lack thereof, feats
Yeah, Jack could perform fine with 14 bullet holes in his leg while Mark could do the same but with one leg instead
So, like last time, Mark takes this by a sizable margin
Markiplier once again jacked the win
The winner is Markiplier
Battle Track[]
Next Time[]
Next time on Deathbattle!
Rex Splode VS Braixen]]
| Markiplier VS Jacksepticeye | |
|---|---|
  | |
| Season | 1 |
| Season Episode | 1 |
| Air date | TDB |
| Written by | Cider621 |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous None |
Next Zoom VS Shadow |
Description[]
YouTuber vs YouTuber that have crossed over multiple times
Interlude[]
Boomstick: You know the worst part about other YouTubers? They're more succesful than us.
Wiz: Well I wouldn't say that but we do have two of them here today.
Boomstick: Like, Markiplier the king of Five Nights at Freddy's.
Wiz: And Jacksepticeye, the... Boss? Anyway, it is our job to analyze their armor weapons and skills to find out who would win, a Deathbattle.
Markiplier[]
Boomstick: Hello everybody his name is Markiplier
Wiz: Yeah Markiplier, the king of two kingdoms and he's his own SCP
Boomstick: Man this fight is going to be boring he's just a normal man
Wiz: On the contrary Markiplier is a powerhouse of durability and powers
Boomstick: Oh yeah, prove it
Wiz: Did you know he fell down the Grand Canyon 7 times? That's enough time to reach speeds of 127mph
Boomstick: Wait what?!
Wiz: Yep, he also got stabbed by 11 spikes 3 going through his head, had his head popped and regrew it, he even survived a nuclear blast
Boomstick: No way are we talking about the same person?
Wiz: That's just his durability just guess his other feats
Boomstick: What? Did you hold his own against Kirby?
Wiz: Yep
Boomstick: What?!
Wiz: He beat Akuma in two hits as well and even killed the Heavy
Boomstick: You're lying!
Wiz: That's just the begining, he can breathe in space a werewolf attack, screamed so loud a distant planet could hear him, his top speed is-
Boomstick: It can't be that fast
Wiz: 4324 miles per hour
Boomstick: What the hell?!
Wiz: He even punched a clown so hard it caused a crater
Boomstick: What the hell is this man?!
Wiz: He can turn into bread and floof his hair for power
Boomstick: Finally you're mentioning his lame powers
Wiz: However Markiplier does have his kryptonite, in the form of getting to angry he'll die
Boomstick: Like...how angry?
Wiz: Playing Vanish
Boomstick: Alright I'm done with this bullshit
Wiz: Nothing is gonna take down Markiplier
Markiplier: Bye bye!
Jacksepticeye[]
Boomstick: Top of the mornin' to yah laddies his name is Jacksepticeye
Wiz: He's the Boss...of something
Boomstick: What crazy shit can this one do?
Wiz: He can bench press about 1088 kilograms or 2400 pounds
Boomstick: Impossible
Wiz: Took a grenade at point blank and took a stone sword crushing him, measuring the size of the sword we can deduce that Jack was hit with 535.5 tons of force
Boomstick: And from what i see here, he fell from the cloud to underground that's enough to reach speeds of 115 mph
Wiz: One time he drank soup with 23 bottles of rat poison dumped in it
Boomstick: Well he has a lit tummy, he would've loved Mama Boomsticks cooking
Wiz: He can even fly, at an impressive 774400 mph
Boomstick: This guy is insane
Wiz: He even has a suit that gives him Classic Sonic's abilities, but only while he's wearing it, or that one time he created 4.9 million copies of himself, there's even his unstoppable Boss mode
Boomstick: It looks like nothing can stop this guy
Wiz: Nothing will stand in the bosses way
Jacksepticeye: Like a BOSS!!!
Pre-Battle[]
Wiz: Alright with the combatants all set and the data run through all possible possibilities
Boomstick: Let's get ready for a Deathbattle
Battle[]
[SepticPlier by Brandon Yates starts playing]
In a dark void
Darkiplier: You're pathetic you can't even beat some Irish man
Antisepticeye: You You can't beat tat buffoon
Darkiplier: I'm sure even he could beat him
Antisepticeye: How can you be sure?
Darkiplier: I know someone who can simulate it
Cut to Googleplier
Googleplier: You want me to simulate a fight between them? Hm...fine...
Mark and Jack are suddenly teleported to a simulation
Googleplier: This a simulation defeat the other gain freedom the other is a fake but I won't say who is the fake
Mark and Jack assume the other is fake and square up
FIGHTMark: Runs up and punches Jack causing a crater but Jack stays standing
.png){kind=link}
.jpg){kind=link}
Jack: Puts on a Sonic outfit and performs a drop dash
Mark: Catches it jumps up and slams Jack in the ground and delivers another punch causing another crater
Jack: Gets up and flies away travelling around the world to hit Mark in the back flinging him in the air catching up with him and punching him twice through the air
Mark: Grabs Jack and a jet flies under him
Jack: Where’d you get a jet!?
Mark: Oh I uh bought it online
Jack: …
Mark: …The jet fires all it has at Jack
Jack: Forms millions of himself to jump on the jet and destroy it then they all jump onto Mark
Mark: Falls to the ground as the Jack’s pummel him before growing planet size before stomping on Jack
Jack: Grows to that size too
Mark: Punches Jack hard causing the planet to crack
Jack: Pulls out his lightsaber
Mark: Where did you get that?! Ducks as Jack swings at him and pulls out his katana Haha!! Jack cuts it in half Oh… Seemingly teleports behind Jack and punches him
Jack: Shrinks down so Mark can’t see him
Mark: Shrinks down too and slams down with another punch
They land causing craters
Jack: Like a BOSS He glows green and unleashes a flurry a punches at Mark and after Mark falls to the ground he runs around to unleash another flurry of punches on the grounded Mark before picking him up and throwing him
Mark: gets up and starts shaking his hair Floof the hair for POWER His hair glows pink
Jack: Runs past Mark clotheslining him
Mark: Chases Jack catching up fast and shoulder bashes him
Jack: Gets launched away and flies off only to charge back as fast as he can
Mark: Runs at Jack as fast as he can
They both wind up a punch and they both punch each other
Jack: Blows up in an explosion of blood leaving only his head
Mark: Realizes that they were both real and that he just killed Jack Noooo! I can’t live with my shame!
KO
Analysis[]
Boomstick: That was...beautiful...
Wiz: While this battle was close the only problem was
Boomstick: Their so durable that none of their attacks could actually...put the other down
Wiz: By measuring the size of the crater Mark left hen he punched this clown as the minimum his punches can pack a punch of 7.8 tons of TNT
Boomstick: And Jack has survived more than that when he got hit by a semi-truck full of gas and it blew up that measures up to 484.4 tons of TNT far greater than anything Mark could hit him with
Wiz: However Mark took a nuclear blast the weakest nuke still has the power of 1000 tons of TNT over twice the amount of Jack's durability feat
Boomstick: But how did Mark kill Jack??
Wiz: Using his speed and Jack's speed when running into each other meaning with a well-timed punch meaning at the bare minimum using their speeds Mark could punch Jack with 59.9 megatons of TNT, which is more than enough to destroy Jack
Boomstick: Jack got Markiplowed
Wiz: The winner is Markiplier
Battle Track[]
The battle track is called SpeticPlier
It's a remix and fusion of the YouTubers outro music
Next Time[]
Boomstick: Next Time on DeathBattle!
Blue static appears and and two rings clang to the ground the combatants silhouettes appear
