| Not board anymore | |
|---|---|
| Season | 4 |
| Season Episode | 8 |
| Air date | 08/09/2023 |
| Written by | Cider621 |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous Zavok VS Jiren |
Next Rodan VS Ho-Oh |
Description[]
Connections[]
- Popular Board games from over 1,000 years ago
- Around 6th Century, India
- Around 3,000 B.C. in what is modern-day Iraq
- Are constantly compared as THE board games
- Strategy games that test the opponents intelligence
- Both about opposing kingdoms going to battle
- Both games are played internationally in competitions
- Both games have a piece that "levels up" upon reaching the end of the board
- Pawn
- Man
- Both played upon the same style of board
- Both have sayings relating to them
- "Checkmate"
- "King Me"
- Quite possibly the MU with the longest legacy behind it
- About 1,500 years of it
- Both contain Kings which are very important to the game
- In contrast, Chess King is rather frail while Checkers King is the strongest piece
Rules[]
- Checkers is composite
- As long as it is still a variant of the same basic game
- As in, no Chinese Checkers or Precursors
Intro[]
Boomstick: ...Are we really doing this?
Wiz: Yes
Fine
War, has been part of Human history for nearly as long as recorded history itself
Before guns and bombs, we used swords and horses and stuff
Just like "Call of Duty" and "Battlefield" of modern day, Humans of the olden days created two board games to simulate battle
Like... Chess the game for nerds
And, Checkers the simple battle amongst kings
He's Wiz and i'm Boomstick
And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Chess[]
About 1,500 years ago, Chess started in India
Does that mean if Chess got into Smash it would be and Indian Rep
Technically- Though this was not the sport people play n-
Don't start with the sport crap, I wanna see big sweaty men fight over balls
Dummi: Somehow, I knew it
Well, it's played professionally internationally, therefore it is considered a sport. Anyway, Chess in it's original incarnations even when it spread up to Persia (Ancestor to Modern Day Iran) There were 4 sides instead of 2
It's supposed to represent armies
Even in this version of the game, there were "tiers" of pieces to use; The Elephant, Horse and, Soldier
War Elephants are so cool, it's a shame they weren't ever used effectively except for when that Spartan guy told Carthage (Ancestor to Modern Day Tunisia) to use them to ram into the Romans
The oldest known Chess Manual was found somewhere in Arabia in around 840, written by "al-Adli ar-Rumi" , this is how we know that Persia got Chess from India
So like a Chess Bible?
I- Believe it can be called that
Well, Chess actually started as a game called something I can't pronounce but I'll try anyway, Chaturanga
Well, Chaturanga, upon gaining steam soon was found by Rashidun Caliphate (No modern day equivalent) and spread across the Muslim world
Nobody expects the "Rashidun- Caliphate-" Inquisition!
This is around when the Modern Day names for Chess started to appear, the Persian word for king "shāh" became "Chess" and "Check" and "Checkmate" spawned from the Persian sentence "shāh māt" which means "The King is dead"
China also got their hands on it and made like- Chess' brother, but that's not important to this
By the time Europe got to it they began to do what Europe does best, change it around to suit them
Like renaming and changing movement and stuff into the board game we all know and tolerate today
Around 1200, Chess as we know it was here
Well, since the beginning there were multiple pieces, I think we should start there
That's right Boomstick, first we have the Pawn
The Pawn is the bitch of the group, it can only move like 2 squares at best and can only go straight
That is mostly true, Pawns can only move 2 spaces at the start of the game, and can only go straight
But, you said it was mostly straight-
When a piece is located diagonally ahead of it, it may take out that piece
And it can't kill in front only diagonal? That's stupid "I can't punch in front of me only 45 degrees to my left or right!
Well, that's a way to put it, but like every other piece, when you are able to take one you can instantly take it no-matter their power; including a Queen
Ooh, so scary, the weakest piece with the most obvious kill space can take out the Queen
That's not it, when a Pawn reaches the end of the board, it can become any other piece it wants, barring the King
Wait what? So it can just turn into a building or a horse?
It would appear so
And here's a giant building, or called the rook
Many people assume it is simply an archer on top of a tower
But the building doesn't move, the arrow does
There is a move in Chess called "Castling" in which the King can quickly hide behind a Rook, which heavily implies that it is indeed
A giant building that slides across the battlefield, that would be horrifying if they weren't being used against other armies with giant moving buildings
Castling cannot be initiated if it will put the King in Check or is blocked by another piece
It can also move up and down and left and right, sliding upon the enemy
This is the Knight
"Will the whole world know your naaame!"
No, not that one
I knew that, just trying to spice it up from literal Chess Pieces!
The Knight's signature move is that it can jump clean over any other piece in an L ark, 2 squares vertically and 1 horizontally
This thing can cause Checkmate on it's own just because of that, MAGIC FLYING HORSE
In endgame, the Knight is less effective since it has limited effective range when the pieces are spread out
Here is a bishop, don't know why one of those are fighting in a battle where one king will die
2 actually
What?
Bishops move diagonally across the board, though they're stuck in the color they start in
No comment
Each Bishop is titled the "Dark Square" or "Light Square" Bishop
The strongest piece in the game
This is the Queen piece, the strongest piece in the game, capable of moving like a Bishop and Rook
Pop-Up: I better not see any "YAAAS, Queen" in the comments
Since she's the strongest, the other pieces scale below her
I know what you may be thinking, but Chess scaling can get, funny
Like what? Normal humans fighting?
We'll get back to the scaling later, just keep this in mind
Don't just use her willy nilly
Using the Queen too early is a mistake that beginners use, considering it puts the Queen at risk of an early death
The most important! King shit!
The King is very important, if put in an unescapable position the game is lost
Yeah even if there's literally more pieces left than him
They're completely demoralized upon the loss of the King
Despite that, he can only move like one space unless he's castling
Maybe the piece nobody wants to lose shouldn't be fighting in the front-lines
...Fair point
Even so, in endgame, he helps defend Pawns to achieve promotion
Now, how are we supposed to "scale" chess
Rook and Queen do it all
Well, how big are Medieval towers anyway?
A Medieval tower wall can 19.7 ft thick and the Tower itself are usually at least 30 ft tall and up to 128 ft
And they were made out of stuff Limestone, Sandstone, and Granite
And given than any piece can destroy it in a single hit, and we know the Tower isn't just collapsed given that any piece can traverse where it fell; it was destroyed to rubble
And- with all that stuff contained within the Rook?
The pieces, including the Rook itself when attacking can hit with forces up to 61.5 tons of TNT
Uh- The stupid board game?
The stupid board game
Damn, well, they can't be that fast can they?
Well, if we assume the Rook takes up the whole square, and that the pieces are moving as fast as they can be played
How fast is that
Stockfish, is currently the #1 Chess bot in the world can calculate 100 million possible moves, and will move instantly upon finding the best possible move and usually lands upon said move within 2 seconds
But that's just thinking of the move, which makes them smart I guess but how about actually moving
...Oh- Right- Well- It is a tactical feat, meaning the Chess pieces are extremely fast thinkers
*Sounds of grabbing a Chess board and sliding his finger across the board and timing it* .2 seconds! Just put it into your speed formula
Well, using the normal human, which Boomstick definitely isn't, but let's say he is anyway .2 seconds is how fast a Bishop and Queen cross across the board diagonally, that'll put their top speed 1,036.3 miles per hour
The others, slower than Queen and Bishop
Holy shit, is- this fight actually going to be cool?
That's what I'm telling you, it's not lame
I can't believe Chess is giving us speeds that are Subsonic at the Minimum, and then Supersonic for two of the types, I thought this would be just a boring history lesson about a dumb game that only old Russian guys play!
I said it was played internationally, but regardless, Chess has been around for 1,500 years; nothing is going to dethrone it from it's spot in culture
| “ | Misha, I have to admit to you. In contrast to you, I cannot play Chess. That's why we have found a strong opponent for you. I invite; 12th World Champion, International Grandmaster, Merited Master of Sport of the USSR. Anatoly Karpov!! | „ |
Checkers[]
Checkers' history dates back several thousand years, but the earliest found board resembling the checker board we all know today was found dating to Mesopotamia (Ancestor to Modern Day Iraq)
Like 3,000 years before Jesus
Pop-up: The Checker board could be dated to earlier but Mesopotamia is the earliest known
The game had spread into Ancient Egypt, Pyramids being found with boards and pieces within them, in particular the Pharoh Hatshepsut liked the game
And here comes Ancient Greece, wrongly saying the game is from Egypt
Well, Greece also latched onto the game, as Homer later wrote that soldiers would play it during the Trojan War
Yeah, well it spread to Rome (Ancestor to what is Modern Day Italy) and played it, they even called it "Little Soldiers"
In Arabic areas, another game similar to Checkers was played wildly, this game took a different path; it made it to Spain and France by 1100
Well in France another staple was made, "King Me"
The idea of crowning by reaching the end of the board is first mentioned in 1243
And it still didn't make it to how it is today, damn, why did this dumb game take so long to finish
In 1535, the rule of forced capture was introduced as well as a version without forced capture, this is the earliest precursor to modern day Chess
Also didn't Checkers finally get it's English name in the 1700s?
In 1756, William Payne, wrote the first English Book about Checkers, this is about when Checkers became what we know today
This, is Man
Man is what every piece in Checkers is before reaching the King's Row, or the farthest piece from their starting side
They can only move forward one diagonal square and can only move two when killing, lame
Ah, that is only in American Checkers, in International and Russian Checkers, Man is able to move backward
Oh yeah, well can Man also blitz like a King?
Yes, they can as long as long as there are other pieces to capture upon each jump leading to a max of about 5 jumps but only in super specific situations
Wait, what else do the others do?
Well, there is a 12 x 12 board rather than the standard, allowing for there to be 24 Man on one side rather than 12
Oh- Sounds like a long game
Probably why 12 against 12 is the standard
King shit 2!
As said before, upon reaching the opposite side, Man becomes King
What is a Man to a King?
The King can do what a Man can't
Well apparently Man can move backwards and blitz
King is capable of more things Internationally, he can do a move called "The Flying King" in which a King can fly across any diagonal space as long as he is unblocked, killing any piece he happens to pass up
Wait so, they just completely destroy the enemy troops right?
Well, yes, as nothing is left of them you could say they completely destroyed them
Oh- Scary-
With a force capable of doing that, could also level a building
Well, what about their "ability to process"
Well Chinook, was a program that proved that as long as a Checker army never made a mistake a battle would always end in a draw, they discovered this because over 100 computer played Checkers for 20 years and neither won. We know that Chinook made no mistakes because the computer is capable of calculating the best moves within around 80 Million Calculations per second
And their normal speed?
Pop-Up: Since the boards are generally the same we're using the same size calculations for Checkers spots
Well, since we are using a 12 x 12 board instead of the standard 8 x 8 board, as to accommodate the full Checker army might it might take a big longer to get across the board
So...690.9 mph for King and- 287.8 mph for Man?
That's right Boomstick
So, this battle isn't going to be lame?
That's what I'm saying-
It's two ancient board games! Emphasis on "BORED"
Well, Checkers has been around for 5,000 years, it surely earned it's legacy it has today
| “ | But how did- You- And I- And then- It was- Well, Tutter, I think you've won; again. | „ |
Interlude[]
Alright, with the combatants all set and the data run through all possibilities, let's end this debate once and for all
It's time for a Death battle!
Battle[]
In a stadium, where there lies a 12 x 12 Checkerboard, Stockfish and Chinook are set to analyze the board to make moves, two humans sit on the sides of the board ready to move the pieces according to what their bot says. One side of the board has 24 Checker pieces and the other has the Chess pieces
Alternatively
Late at night, within a war torn world, two countries battled to the bitter end leaving the room for a small but fierce battle to break out between 24 men about to attempt an invasion upon the enemy King and Queens castle but they're ready to defend their King, even if it leads to their deaths
Men and Pawns charge to face each other as both Knights jump clear over the pawns to charge at Men as well, they start clashing. Knights jump and take out some Men as the Pawns attempt to hold off the Mens larger numbers.
Within the stadium, Stockfish seems to be having trouble comprehending the defensive capabilities that the 12 x 12 board has considering it’s used to an 8 x 8 board but it’s managing to keep up by calculating many possible moves the chess pieces can use, realizing that since frontlines are wider than normal that Bishops are free to go around to flank the Checkers. Chinook recognizes and sends Men to go around the pawn to face the Bishops
Each Bishop had decided to flank around the fierce fighting between the Knights Pawns and, Men only to be met with more men flanking around too, they’re outnumbered and proceed to take more defensive positioning as frontlines extend outward between Bishops weaving around Men
Stockfish attempts to keep the Bishops safe by hiding them in spots where Men cannot attack. Chinook soon notices this and uses the gap to bring Men pieces to try and achieve a crowning.
As Men slip past the Bishops, a Man nearly reaches the castle only to immediately be slain by the Queen.
Queen: Foolish man. Not even the most daring Pawn would have tried that.
As Men start to slip past on either side the Queen finds that she’s rushing across the behind lines to keep Men from touching the castle
Chinook manages to get a Man within a spot not even the Queen could defend, Stockfish decides to pull the Queen back to take out the new piece that emerges upon the Man making it to the end
The Queen watches as a Man reaches the spot opposite of where he started, and he feels a surge of power surge through him as a crown materializes upon his head
Checkers King: …King me.
The Queen charges at the Enemy King and he wasn’t ready for the speed that she wielded, slaying the newly crowned king but soon a new king immediately rises to make it to the end and proceeds to swarm the frontlines at high speeds taking Pawns by surprise as Man overwhelms them. Knights are left without people in effective range.
Stockfish watches their defenses begin to crumble as they decide to move Rooks forward to help their Bishops decide to use their Queen and finally move their King to help escort a Pawn to the end of the board. Chinook uses their King to take out the spread out Knights and some pawns
The Men and King soon watch in horror as the two stone towers start sliding across the battlefield to help defend the enemy sides, even flattening some of their people, they’re being pushed back. As the Chess King and Queen fight through frontlines, an opening allows for the Checkers King to slash through one of the Knights and proceed to slash the Queen by surprise, splitting her head in half as he jumps clean over her. The Chess King sees his Queen dead and decides to face the Checkers King head-on taking a defensive approach as to not meet the same fate as his Queen
Stockfish quickly sends a Rook down to defend the King in a spot no longer needing defense
The Chess King notices the Rook is within range for him to castle as he hides behind it and the Checker King can’t seem to get past it. That’s when the Pawn reaches the end of the board… Where he feels power surge through him as a dress forms upon her as she becomes the new Queen. She turns to meet the enemy King. The other Pawns are taken out but the Men are still focused on taking out the remaining Knight, Bishops and, a Rook
Stockfish and Chinook both end up positioning their Queen and King into positions trying to bait the other into a position to take out the others strongest piece
The Queen charges the Checkers King as he jumps away and occasionally makes dashes towards her in an elegant dance to take each other out. She notices that he’s starting to struggle so she decides to start attacking more aggressively.
Stockfish appears to be making better decisions than Chinook is, as Stockfish allows the Queen to go across the board to keep her safe as they send the Knight, Bishop and, Rook to handle the last of the Men before sending the Queen back to handle the Enemy King
The Checkers King remains with extreme vigor, even if he’s the only person left he’ll keep up the fight, the Queen returns to face him. They continue to battle as the Knight, Bishops and, Rook close in the space between them but keep their distance to avoid being the victim to one of the Checker Kings attacks.
Chinook does all it can and keeps picking the best possible moves available to it, until Stockfish manages to get their Queen within kill distance ,along with the other pieces covering the escape routes, a Checkmate. But the game is not over as this is not Chess, but a weird amalgamation of Chess and Checkers.
The remaining army is in shock as despite having the enemy King with no option for escape, he refuses to admit defeat as he tries on final push on the Queen, she admires his determination.
Queen: …Off with your head.
Queen swings her weapon as the Checkers King misses his mark and her weapon cleaves his head off. The Army watches the body fall limp and the head hit the ground before cheering upon the enemy's defeat.
Stockfish and Chinook stop playing as the game ends, this was funny experiment in the eyes of the people who set this up
KO!!!
Results[]
I feel like we framed that as cooler than it had any right to be
While in a freelance fight it’s very clear that Chess holds clear advantage, with higher speed and attack potency
That much was obvious… What about in a game following actual rules?
Well, Chess still comes out on top, the Chess pieces have much more versatility upon the Checkers pieces. Pieces can hide in spots that Checker pieces can’t go as well as just… take the pieces with little to no resistance
Hell, even the strongest Checkers Piece would probably be comparable to just Bishops but have a harder time to kill
Pop-Up: Even with Checker’s numbers advantage, Chess is just overwhelming more versatile
That’s right Boomstick, let alone Stockfish having 1.2 times better calculation speed than Chinook, it can outthink and outplay Chinook
What about the actual cool part of the fight?
Yes, the actual stats, well; Checkers has some advantages. Man is faster than Pawn, Chess King and, Knight. Checkers King is also faster than them all, barring Bishop and Queen.
Pop-Up: Queen and Bishop are 1.4 times faster than the Checkers King
And while Checkers pieces can completely pulverize another human, Chess pieces can do the same to giant stone towers.
That would make even the Pawns having a strength advantage 843.3 times stronger than Man or even King could output
So by playing by the rules Checkers lose and playing by the rule of cool Checkers STILL lose… by a lot
Even with Checkers’ higher resolve by going until all men are killed instead of how Chess pieces just give up when their King is captured
Yeah, that higher resolve is only good for fighting to the bitter end when your opponent outclasses you in every way
Anyway you slice it, Chess just holds all the important advantages within the real world and within a theoretical freelance battle
I guess this time is was Chess just put the opponent into Checkersmate!
The Winner is Chess
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Next Time[]
Battle Track[]
Kings are prominent characters in Chess and Checkers and are defended by the "basic" pieces
Trivia[]
- When referencing "Ancestor" countries, I mean the primary country, not all the countries spawned from it
- I also know that places like Rome are well known, I only mentioned it for consistency