| Travis Touchdown vs. Jack Cayman
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|---|---|
| Season 1, Episode 7 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | March 31st, 2015
Remastered: December 21st, 2015 |
| Written by | Ahomeschoolingroudon |
| Directed by | Ahomeschoolingroudon |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Legendary Bird Battle Royale | Annie Leonhardt vs Fredrika |
Travis Touchdown vs. Jack Cayman is a What-If? episode of Death Battle.
Description[]
No More Heroes vs Madworld! It's a battle of the crownless kings of UAA & Deathwatch! Who will win!
Interlude[]
Wiz: When it comes down to sports where you kill people you can’t get better than these two
Boomstick: Not to mention their damn weapons! Lightsaber kitanas? Arm-chainsaws? I want!
Wiz: Travis Touchdown The Deadliest Otaku
Boomstick: And Jack Cayman The Master of the Deathwatch Games! He’s wiz and I’m boomstick!
Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons armor & skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!
Travis Touchdown[]
Wiz: Travis Touchdown is the crownless king of the UAA and has killed every assassin that stands in his way
Boomstick: But before that Travis was just your ordinary otaku & loser obsessed with things like anime & video games. That is until he won a fucking beam katana in an online auction! Now I want to head to Ebay!
Wiz: I doubt they sell beam katanas there..anyway when he got it he became a hitman and accepted a job to kill Helter-Skelter to get him some cash. However, this got him into the United Assassins Association a governing body of assassins leaving him a target for other assassins.
Boomstick: However his loser tagline can get thrown out the window with his combat skills! He’s mastered sword wielding and he can slice people up with his katana in seconds! Also he has learned wrestling being able to grapple from mimicking certain moves from wrestling tapes. Also he can turn into a tiger how the hell does that work?
Wiz: It doesn’t..but besides that he also has a motorcycle dubbed the Schepeltiger.
Boomstick: The what?
Wiz: It’s a combat motorcycle being able to clash with other combat vehicles and still drive around without any hassle.
Boomstick: However that’s nothing compared to Travis’s ultimate ability!
Wiz: See when he ends up killing enough people he can access his full rage potential known as Dark Side Mode!
Boomstick: With this Travis Touchdown turns into a monster of a warrior giving him superhuman strength, speed & invincibility but with only a short time limit but it has all of that energy so as if I give a shit however that’s not his only powerhouse up his sleeve! He shows his anime fanboy side by getting out his own version of a gundam!
Wiz: Actually it’s not based off of gu-
Boomstick: Glastonbury!
Travis: Glastonbury let’s punk!
Boomstick: Now that’s a gundam if I ever saw one!
Wiz: It’s not a gundam!
Boomstick: Well how about mighty morphin’ travis touchdown?
Wiz: Ugh..
Boomstick: Anyway the glastonbury has missiles, a lightsaber upgrade & a Hail Mary attack which can send an opponent flying into space! Why doesn’t he pull that out more often?
Wiz: Because well..
Sylvia: It is too big and is a public nuisance
Boomstick: Oh that’s a load of bullshit!
Wiz: But even without the glastonbury he’s taken out vengeful spirits, cloud lookalikes, female grim reapers & even another otaku who can transform into a steroid version of himself & a killer macy’s day parade balloon
Boomstick: WHAT!?
Wiz: But even still he has some flaws here and there as even though he is a deadly otaku of murder he’s still has loser qualities like being cowardly & impatient. Also his rage can make him just try to hack and slash through everything in his path and not anything else
Boomstick: But hey how else would you do it? And remember assassins even though you may be number 1 now you may want to treasure it cause the lightsaber katana wielding otaku is looking for you
Travis: You’re the one leaving, in a body bag
Jack Cayman[]
Wiz: Jack Cayman is one of the deadliest men in the world being a unbeatable player of Deathwatch games he takes it serious
Boomstick: A mechanic and former marine he started without a sponsor reputation or no obvious reason of being there in the first place..except for the hundred million dollar prize! Now I want to join deathwatch
Wiz: Trust me Boomstick no you don’t as it forces people to kill each other off all the time in the most twisted ways
Boomstick: What?
Frank’s Finisher plays
Boomstick: Damn! Who would run something like that? He must have some serious screws loose.
Wiz: The twisted soul named..Noa
Boomstick: Just Noa? His name is just your average name for some pepsi manager
Wiz: But unknown to Noa Jack Cayman is actually working undercover for the FBI in hopes to get Noa arrested for his crimes
Boomstick: But he’s not your ordinary undercover agent because he has a retractable chainsaw for an arm!
Wiz: This chainsaw allows Jack to slice and dice through other Deathwatch competitors in a matter of seconds but he also kills people in the most obscure ways possible like shooting them to a skeleton! Ripping people in half with dual blades! And even punching somebody into a cannon send tending them shooting off into cannon!
Boomstick: Awesome..
Wiz: See with jack he’s able to use his environment to his advantage being able to send somebody into a conveniently placed spike or fan because there’s deathtraps like that all around deathwatch
Boomstick: Also he’s able to use his motorcycle as a weapon being able to throw his motorcycle at his opponent causing them to explode! as well as having incredible brute strength being able to go toe to toe with a supernatural combatant!
Wiz: And it’s these powers allowing him to sweep through 12 powerful combatants including star wars knock-offs, cyborgs, vampi-
Deathwatach Commentators: Awesome rack on her though
Boomstick: Oh how true..
Wiz: And vampires straight out of twilight until the final clash against the black baron. And after the biggest clash the crowd has ever seen he..
Boomstick: Home runned him with mathilda’s bat into a giant dart board to finish off the deathwatch games!
Wiz: Even after the deathwatch games he still remained as skilled as ever with his new weapon the gator tooth.
Boomstick: Whether you see him in deathwatch or not if you piss him off you better get ready for not just a kick to the ass a chainsaw to the ass as well!
Jack: A Madworld... I’ll fit right in
DEATH BATTLE![]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set lets end this debate once and for all
Boomstick: It's time for a death battle!!
Jack Cayman is walking through deathwatch until he’s approached by another fierce Travis Touchdown. Travis knowing he’s the new #1 in the UAA gets ready for battle
Jack Cayman: It’s about time..
Travis Touchdown: Spare me the mystic crap I came here to fight!
Jack Cayman: Heh..Ready as I’ll ever be..Let the games begin
Travis draws out his beam katana while Jack draws out his Arm Chainsaw
FIGHT!
Jack and Travis slash at each other with the lightsaber katana & Arm Chainsaw but Jack overpowers him and slams Travis to the ground but he ends up wrestling with him but Jack throws him at a fan but Travis cuts it down with the beam katana
Jack: You’re a fucking joke!
Travis: It’s game time!
Jack & Travis get on their motorcycles and start ramming at each other but Jack bests him and throws his Motorcycle at Travis but he drives away from it as it explodes and jumps at Jack
Travis: Fuck head!
Travis slashes Jack in the chest causing him to kneel.
Travis: Pain in my ass why aren’t you dead yet!?
Jack: I don’t help people..I kill them
Jack then pulls out his Gator Tooth and slices Travis. However Travis then begins to transform into a tiger and charges at Jack however Jack wasn’t to easy to impress and picks Travis up and throws him upward. Jack pulls out his Mathilda's Bat and home runs him away. Travis changed back but furious
Travis: You’re gonna fucking pay!
Travis enters the Dark Side Mode and stabs Jack Cayman in the head but Jack tosses him aside and starts shooting at him with his dual magnums. However with Travis’s invunerability he just walks through it and slashes at him some more until it wears off. Jack then headbutts Travis into a wall
Travis: Damn I thought this would happen,
Jack: Ready for a piece of the champ!
Travis however sends out Glastonbury. Jack pulls out his missile launcher and tries to shoot at it but Travis fires missiles back
Travis: Time for the hail mary!
Glastonbury then impales Jack and throws him into space as Travis flies after him and charges up a laser
Travis: BUSTER!!
Travis fires it and Jack explodes causing him to disintegrate
JACK CAYMAN
DEAD.
K.O!
Travis uses the money earned from killing Jack to buy himself some more games.
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: Gundam power!
Wiz: This was a surprisingly even match. At first Jack Cayman had it in the bag outclassing him with his sheer power but when Travis Touchdown pulled out glastonbury all hope was lost
Boomstick: Sure Jack has dealt with the black baron but Travis has dealt with similar foes like Dr. Letz Shake for example also Travis’s glastonbury has the strength to throw a same sized mecha into space while Jack needs a cannon to shoot somebody up to a volcano.
Wiz: Even his missile launcher was useless as its speed can avoid any missiles Jack could throw at him let alone block them with his own.
Boomstick: Jack just couldn't touchdown! (Pun created by Agentrockluxury3)
Wiz: The winner is Travis Touchdown
Next Time (Ahomeschoolingroudon)[]
Boomstick: Next time on death battle!
Travis Touchdown vs. Jack Cayman Remastered will be released on December 22nd of 2015, marking Ahomeschoolingroudon's 1 year anniversary of writing Death Battles
Interlude (Remastered)[]
Wiz: These are the two most prime examples that the M-Rating isn't enough sometimes, as these two are not only expert at killing and splattering blood all around, they are in a competition of where there's only one rule; It's kill or be killed.
Boomstick: Travis Touchdown, the #1 assassin of the United Assassins Association
Wiz: And Jack Cayman, the overcomer of Deathwatch.
Boomstick: For this Death Battle this time around, Jack Cayman will be not only be getting his feats from MadWorld, but also from his incarnation in Anarchy Reigns as well. And as for Travis' Glastonbury? Well throw that Gundam in an oversized dumpster, because this is a true one on one duel. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!
Travis Touchdown (Remastered)[]
Wiz: Sometimes being considered a ‘loser’ in society is rough, especially if you are immature asshole of a sociopath.
Boomstick: But what if you can take that sociopathic nature into cold hard cash? Or just do it for fun for a flirtatious slut named Sylvia Christel’s organization, named the United Assassins Association.
Wiz: And in this, he was able to become the world’s most skilled assassin, which, even as an everyday otaku he proved was nowhere near impossible. He ended up growing to be a surprisingly skilled fighter in combat.
Boomstick: You don’t say? We’re talking about a bullet timer, who is able to take stabbings in the heart, bullets, energy blasts and explosions with no injury. Literally taking dedication of his otaku personality to the highest level. Or should I say, power level.
Wiz: He’s also a self-taught wrestler, mostly based off of Mexican Masked Wrestling, or Lucha Libre. And while there are plenty of moves at his disposal with this, his specialty is suplexing foes. And this is combined with his swordsmanship, was mostly taught from Yazuka Thunder Ryu’s video tapes
Boomstick: Travis Touchdown, giving rivaling assassins a one way ticket to Suplex City.
Wiz: But his combat abilities go beyond wrestling, as he’s rather competent physically. As he is a skilled athlete, mostly when it comes to sprinting, and he is even able to lift the overweight undead pyromaniac Matt Helms with little strain, before making a suplex.
Boomstick: It’s almost as if-
Wiz: BOOMSTICK IF YOU DO WHAT I THINK YOU ARE GONNA DO-
(https://youtu.be/Z7BBt2anQ4E?t=29s)
Boomstick: COME ON LET’S SLAM, AND WELCOME TO THE JAM. COME ON LET’S SLAM, Y-YOU WANNA JAM. TRAVIS IT’S SLAM OR BE JAMME-
Wiz: Ugh..
(Stop-Music)
Wiz: And if you expect Travis to be an honorable foe, he isn’t one, at all. He is not afraid to take cheap shots in a fight. But when it comes to swordsmanship, Travis excels in this category for one specific reason. His beam katanas
Boomstick: These, beam katanas which are totally not lightsabers at all are more than capable of ripping straight through people with ease. And along with this, they are able to deflect other beam weapons, along with gunfire. Yet they somehow cannot deflect metal weapons, but considering Travis himself is, like, made of fucking steel I guess it all works out.
Wiz: And there is several different beam katana models that Travis can use, the signature of which is the Blood Berry. It has average swinging strength and speed, making it a good starting weapon on the battlefield.
Boomstick: But to spice up the spraying blood on the United Assassins Association, he has the Tsubaki manufactured by Naomi’s Lab and Doctor Naomi, which is a more durable version of the Blood Berry. Everything else is, practically the same besides this.
Wiz: But this is just a prototype, and along with this is the Tsubaki Mark II, a much more bulkier model which has five rotating laser blades up for Travis’ usage. Although it requires a lot of professional skill to wield for good use.
Boomstick: And lastly of the Tsubaki line, and probably the most badass out of the bunch, is the Tsubaki Mark III, the beam katana equivalent of a long sword. And again, all of these were forged by Doctor Naomi.
Wiz: The Rose Nasty is a pair of curved, receiverless weapons with red blades and differing hilts with hand guards. This allows Travis to dual wield, and it helped with his revenge, as this was the weapon his assassinated friend Bishop Shidux willed for him to possess.
Boomstick: Blood of redemption, am I right?
Wiz: And last but not least, Doctor Naomi’s latest beam katana invention, the Peony. It is the best weapon for sheer strength, and it expands and contracts based on the users ‘Ki.’
Boomstick: There are two things I’d like to say about that.
Wiz: However, the biggest fault with this sword is that the swinging speed is rather slow. But this is perfect for crowd control
Boomstick: Speaking of crowd control, once Travis’ gotten enough kills, he can use the trump card, called the Dark Side mode. Taking his otaku power level to OVER... 8,000.
Wiz: Well at least that part got right, but Travis gains a temporary power boost, allowing him superhuman strength, speed and invincibility. And the kicker, is that it summons three slot machines, which varies his ability depending on the combination.
Boomstick: This includes getting three grasshoppers for the Strawberry on the Shortcake, where Travis’ hair glows bright yellow and his beam katana becomes highly charged. Okay, I think Travis is going beyond otaku, I think he might be becoming a weeaboo. I guess even at thirty that’ll still resonate with you
Wiz: Travis in this form is described as moving like lightning, as the background goes blurry around him, and like this he can absolutely obliterate everything in his path. And the Blueberry Cheese Brownie allows Travis to fire waves of energy, once getting three bells.
Boomstick: The Cranberry Chocolate Sundae, achieved by three BARs causes the surroundings to turn into a monochrome like scheme, where Travis can only walk. When performing this incorrectly, Travis will only taunt at the foes like this. But when used correctly, Travis will execute foes using methods like chopping off arms, stabbing and tearing a crawling enemy in the pelvic region, splitting a foe in half vertically with a jumping backflip, and other methods of brutality.
Wiz: Three 7s causes the ANARCHY in The Galaxy effect to take place, where Travis stops time and unleash a hot pink energy rain, which vaporizes foes, with a money bonus for good measure.
Boomstick: Too bad it’s more rare than winning the lottery. Oh did I say lottery? I meant to say the biggest fucking scam in the history of ev-
Wiz: And lastly, Cherry where enemies’ movement is slowed, where Travis can cleanly slice them apart. And of course, this is achieved through three cherries.
Boomstick: And lastly, Travis also has a specialized motorbike named Schpeltiger, which is a reliable source of transportation and running down thugs. Hell, this was even used against Ryuji.
Wiz: Travis as an assassin has come a long way, and will fight anybody to protect his title as the crownless king of the United Assassins Association. He’s able to take on swarms of enemies by himself, killed off the mammoth of a robot named Doctor Letz Shake, who was able to fuck up an entire colosseum.
Boomstick: Able to fight against Speed Buster, who wielded an insane Elephant Cannon, which is speculated to be the reason why Speed City is in ruins, killed the nicknamed goddess of death Margaret Moonlight.
Wiz: But Travis is not all fun and games, as he has no real form of ranged attacks, and has hardly any formal training. And he can also be a bit of in idiot, as well as his durability not being the Kaede type, as it has limits.
Boomstick: Plus, the Dark Side Mode can also be a hinderance, and the Beam Katana needs to recharge, in one of the most sexual innuendo ways might I add. Plus, Travis struggles to fight against the opposite sex, whether it’s a University student or a bondage bitch.
Wiz: And once the fight against Alice Twilight came to a close, Travis ended up losing it against the United Assassins Association for it’s cruelty, and he ended up taking it out on Sylvia herself, swearing to tear the business apart.
Travis Touchdown: See that? Now THAT was a battle! Look at this blood! We humans are alive, even if we are assassins! Doesn't matter if it's a video game, movie, drama, anime, manga, WE'RE ALIVE! People shed blood and die! This isn't a game! You can't just selfishly use death as your tool! THIS is Alice's blood! I bet you've already forgotten she'd existed! Same way you would've forgotten about me! And THAT'S why I'm tearing down the UAA!
Jack Cayman (Remastered)[]
Wiz: Gameshows in most cases are usually for fun, and are always harmless-
Boomstick: Wiz, please, watch the fucking Newlywed Game.
Wiz: Wait, that exists?
Boomstick: You know it does, you shit. Now let me handle this, in order to break the squeaky clean tradition of gameshows that present no harm, the city of Varrigan City would become the setting of where the hosting of DeathWatch would take place.
Wiz: Whoever won this twisted game would become the champion psychopath out of them all, as well as getting awarded 100 million dollars for good measure, as long as you stay alive and kill everyone you meet.
Boomstick: And there was only one confirmed person who had came out as the victor twice, his name was Jack Cayman, former marine, mechanic and police officer turned reigning champion of DeathWatch.
Wiz: But winning the battle royale known as DeathWatch is no easy task, as Noa ran this game, a terrorist group known as the Organizers sent out a virus which forced those to kill each other in order to get the vaccine.
Boomstick: Well, now I can see why Jack came back to this, outside of the sheer brutality that anybody would want to see.
Wiz: And in order to survive, Jack had insane physicality that nobody in the DeathWatch could ever hope to match. He’s able to throw objects like full oil drums, subway seats, and is even able to tear people apart, in the most gory ways one could ever see.
Boomstick: Hell, he can even overpower the mutant Little Eddie with sheer strength alone, and can hold back two metal storage crates getting launched directly towards him with his bare hands, before slicing them open with a single swing!
Wiz: But he is not just an offense player, he is also extremely durable, able to take large falls, getting shot by bullets, and getting crushed by heavy objects.
Boomstick: And lastly, he’s able to dodge or even cut bullets heading straight towards him! And due to his training in special forces, he’s an expert in all forms of combat, even if he improvises a lot. Most of the improv resulting in tearing foes in half, plus Jack isn’t so honorable either.
Wiz: Well, there is no honor to be seen in a bloody massacre gameshow.
Boomstick: And that’s why Jack has his special secret weapon, the fucking chainsaw! Which is mounted cybernetically to Jack’s arm, which can cut through almost fucking anything!
Wiz: However, this weapon does need to be recharged, but this is where Jack’s other weapons are able to come into play. Which includes a spiked bat, which he is able to use so well that he can home run somebody straight into the bullseye on an oversized dart board.
Boomstick: Speaking of lethal sports tools, Jack also is able to wield a golf club. And a torch, which Jack can, eat from in order to breath fire.
Wiz: But in order to focus on the more bladed weapons, such as an oversized spear. Which lacks in speed, but makes up for that with distance and strength. And he also has a katana, as well as a set of daggers, which Jack can dual wield, and can be wielded swiftly, despite them being overall weak.
Boomstick: Making up for this however? Is none other than the Missile Launcher, which is rather self explanatory. And the Magnet Gun, which is basically the expy of Half-Life’s Gravity Gun, where he can pull up objects closer before blasting them at the foe. Heh, I can’t make this description shit up.
Wiz: But there is two stand out weapons in Jack’s disposal, the-
Boomstick: THE FUCKING DOUBLE CHAINSAW! Which Jack managed to receive after the second round of DeathWatch, as this mammoth of a chainsaw can cut through anything! And it’s likely to be the source of his new upgrade, the retractable double chainsaw inside his mechanical arm named the Gator Tooth!
Wiz: However, even if all of this is not enough to take out his foe, he can weaponize anything in his surroundings. Which include tires, sign posts, explosive drums, garbage cans, trumpets, and even oversized masks for Big Bull Crockers, or trains passing by. Or a pair of firearms, which Jack can use to shoot someone down to nothing but a skeleton, until shooting them one last time to burst them to a pile of bones.
Boomstick: And two last things to help overcome foes, is the ‘Power Struggle’, a quick time event that allows Jack to do heavy damage to the foe, or even finish them off.
Wiz: And for transportation, Jack also has himself a motorcycle, which he can use for combat if he were to get in a bike fight. Even being able to use his chainsaw while riding said motorcycle.
Boomstick: Hell, Jack without his motorcycle can still do some rather impressive shit. He has won two separate DeathWatch games, successfully managed to come out on top against the BloodBath Challenges-
Wiz: Which are basically timed mini-games where you can thwack someone to a dart board, running over greys with motorcycles, and more gruesome events. But besides this, Jack has survived an encounter with Death Blade, the grim reaper. And has killed foes like The Shamans, Herr Frederick von Twirlenkiller, Martin, Rinrin, Frank, The Masters, his evil clone Kojack, and even the Black Baron.
Boomstick: Not insane enough for you? He’s also came out on top against the Blacker Baron and Mathilda, the former of which wielding the ‘Super Sexy Fists of Fire’ and both of them had killed a Kraken, no I am not kidding here. And he also defeated Big Bull, a foe weighing in at a ton who is basically Wendy’s without the finger in the chili.
Big Bull: WHERE'S THE BEEF!?
Wiz: Regardless, Jack still has his flaws. He has limited durability, and if he takes too much damage he can get himself killed.
Boomstick: Plus, his chainsaw, as badass as it is has a limited timer before it needs to be recharged. Which takes far too long for a high stakes fight, plus he usually rushes into battle, and relies on his improvising to carry him all the way.
Wiz: And the Power Struggle can backfire if he does not use it right, and he relies heavily on close range combat.
Boomstick: Can you blame him? Because he’s got the motherfucking chainsaw, double chainsaw and the Gator Tooth! And who wouldn’t want to slice apart foes with that? I thought so. And on top of this, he managed to walk away from DeathWatch to be a mercenary for his own company, as the CEO of DeathWatch, Noa, would find himself assassinated by his son Leo. Finally granting Jack the ability to never get pestered by DeathWatch a second time
Jack Cayman: Time to get to work.
DEATH BATTLE! (Remastered)[]
Some boring motel room
Night-time
The scenery of the hotel room was rather, bleak, and was just completely littered in a mess of video tapes, games, and all sorts of nerdy equipment. As such, the room that the room belonged to was none other than some nerd deemed a loser by society, except that this loser in particular was an arrogant, sociopathic, immature asshole named Travis Touchdown.
Travis was just hanging back, putting on one of the video tapes that belonged to none other than the legend in Travis’ eyes, Yakuza Thunder Ryu. Travis was completely zoned out from the real world as he continued watching, even after the phone rang, Travis finally managed to get out of his little zone barely swift enough to pick up the phone.
“Hello?” Travis questioned to the phone, as he waited for a response on the other line, until he heard a familiar voice on the phone. “Travis, it’s me.” Greeted a voice that Travis recognized, he knew it was her, it was, Sylvia Crystal the ranking agent of the United Assassins Association.
“I have arranged your next set of fights, it should be-” Sylvia nonchalantly said, having already forgotten that Travis had already been the number 1 assassin twice, “Woah, woah! Hold it ice cream, I already am the number 1 assassin!” Travis interrupted, annoyed by the fact that he has to get pulled into this shit again.
“Not anymore, you’re now only a mere 199th ranked assassin!” Sylvia explained in a cold tone, as Travis gritted his teeth from the reply and bashed his fist against the desk in his motel room. “Bullshit! I can’t go for one fucking vacation without getting my record trampled on!” Travis roared in response.
“Well, you are my ‘No More Hero’ so you should go get that title back! Now get your scrub ass to Varrigan City located in Jefforson Island, and kill those assassins already!” Sylvia snapped, as she was annoyed that she had to deal with Travis’ annoying part of his personality. “Sheesh, whatever the hell happened to the horny bitch that I knew!?” Travis replied, which caused Sylvia to just hang up the phone in the middle of the call.
“Hmph, Varrigan City, I know I’ve seen that before.” Travis murmured to himself, before he stepped out of his motel room, locking the door in the process, despite completely forgetting to turn off the Thunder Ryu tape he had playing in the background, as he went down the steps and walked straight out of the motel, as he turned to his specialized motorbike colored almost entirely in white and yellow (No I am not gonna make a Wiz Khalifa joke), Schpeltiger.
Travis did not even give a single fuck about putting on a helmet, as he got onto the Schpeltiger and hit the gas, causing him to speed away from the motel, and managed to get himself the directions towards Varrigan City, somehow, and floored it over there.
Varrigan City
Once Travis sped his way into the area of Varrigan City, he immediately recognized it from a gameshow that he watched some time ago, he just could not remember what the exact show was. At least, until the announcers came into play.
“Greetings gore sport fans, name is Howard ‘Buckshot’ Holmes, here for a night showing of the Varrigan City DeathWatch, with more blood and guts than the Spetsnaz!” Exclaimed one of the announcers, as the second began to fuss with him. “And the name is Kreese fucking Kreely, and we’ll be hosting this as always, because no dumbass can replace us!”
Travis sprang his head up, as he recognized the two announcers, “Of course, this is DeathWatch, why the fuck didn’t I recognize this sooner!“ Travis thought to himself, as he twirled around what seemed to be a mere metal rod, before a blue beam bursted onto the rod, as it was now a beam katana, and the most balanced out of the bunch in Travis’ arsenal, the Blood Berry.
A bunch of grunts, all of them in somewhat fancy clothing pulled out pistols and knives in their hands, “This kill will make me famous!” One of the goons boasted, as they all began to dash towards the Crownless King of the United Assassins Association, “Die! You hear me Travis, die!” Another shouted, as Travis dashed from the side towards them, as he lunged forward.
SLISH!
Travis swung his Blood Berry at every single goon that was charging forward, creating a large gash on all of their chests, “GAAAAAH!!” The goons cried out, as they were torn in half, with blood gushing from their corpses as they dropped down to the ground, overkill if you had ever seen it. Travis scoffed, as he turned away from the dead bodies mutilated beyond belief.
Travis would not be sitting pretty for long, as extremely loud footsteps were heard close by, as tremors in the surrounding area formed because of what seemed to be stomping from a giant, as Travis stumbled to get back to his feet after falling flat on his face from the tremors, as he turned he saw a completely deformed mutant, with a oversized flail.
Little Eddie had come to meet him, and by meet, I mean kill him.
“Hoo-man, looks like Little Eddie wants some blood to get stained on his flail!” Howard announced, “And this punk better have something up his sleeve, because from where I’m standing, this prick has nothing on so-called ‘Little’ Eddie.” Kreese mused, as they both began to watch what they expected to be a slaughter.
They were right, just not in the way they were expecting, “I’ll murdalize ya’!” Little Eddie boasted, as he heaved the flail’s chain over his head, before swinging the actual spiked part of the flail towards Travis, who dove out of the way, trying to swing his Blood Berry beam katana at the chain.
However, Little Eddie ended up stopping in mid-fight, as his eyes turned from calm to completely widened, as what seemed to be a speck had jumped up onto Eddie’s back, as blood began to drip from his chest. Eddie ended up shrieking as he tried to get this puny man off of him.
WRRRRR!
What seemed to be a chainsaw bursted through Eddie’s gut from behind, as blood bursted from the oversized mutant, as the mysterious figure ejected the chainsaw from his back and leaped up, as he pulled out a baseball bat covered in spikes, and bashing the mutant right in the head with it, causing him to crash down to the ground, splattering blood all over the place.
“What in the fuck!?” Travis instigated, as he pointed his Blood Berry at the figure, who dropped down to the ground casually, as he revealed his chainsaw was cybernetically attached to his arm, as he was the reigning champion of the DeathWatch competition Jack Cayman.
“You, tell me who the hell you are!” Travis stormed, as Jack turned to him, and puffed a cigar, causing smoke to flow through the air of Varrigan City, “Jack, just Jack.” The reigning champion replied, as he put his fists up, with his chainsaw still roaring as they spoke, but they would not be talking for long, as Travis drew back his beam katana.
“It’s game time!” Travis exclaimed, as they both got prepared for the bloodiest fight that the viewers of DeathWatch would ever see.
FIGHT!
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRjRemqMDA0)
Travis and Jack dashed towards each other as quickly as they could, with Travis slightly having the greater mobility when compared to Jack, as Travis curved his Blood Berry up to Jack’s neck, who backed himself up away from the Blood Berry, as he bent down just nearly with his back against the ground, before pushing himself up, striking Travis in the chin with a uppercut.
“Damn, I know that this is gonna be a nuisance when I can’t decapitate this bastard right off the bat!” Travis muttered, as he jumped back onto his feet, taking a quick breath and spitting on the ground, “Let’s do this shit!” Travis shouted, as he swiftly sprinted towards Jack a second time, but to spice things up Jack just stayed put. Travis smirked, as he swung his Blood Berry downwards, towards Jack’s cranium.
But before Travis could land a successful hit, Jack drew back his fist before swinging a hook towards Travis’ gut, “Holy-” Travis was trying to react, before Travis grunted as the hook struck him, causing him to fly backwards, skidding across the ground as he did until impacting a wall of the many buildings in Varrigan City.
“What the hell was that, ass clown!?” Travis questioned in a very groan worthy manner, and Jack definitely found that groan worthy, as he tried to stomp his foot on Travis’ face as he was down once he got back up to him, Travis tilted his head away from Jack’s foot once he tried, as he leapt up in the air.
Travis crashed down right on top of Jack, with his back facing him, causing them both to fall down on the ground, with Jack falling on his face. Travis quickly got back up to his feet, as he punted Jack while he was still down on the floor, and stomping his gut over and over, still putting on that smirk.
Jack was sick of this shit, as this was putting a major hole in his career as the reigning champion of DeathWatch, along with his mercenary company, before he grabbed Travis by the leg as he tried to get another stomp in. “That’s enough of your shit,” Jack stormed, before arising on his feet and whirling Travis around in a tornado fashion, before tossing him towards a field of spikes.
“So long, bitch.” Jack mused, as Travis widened his eyes at the sight of the massive herd of spikes, as he tried to push himself forward while he was airborne, as he began to fall downward. He skidded across the ground, and he was just short of the field of spikes, Travis made a sigh of relief and took a breath, as he dashed towards Jack, now getting angered.
Travis bounced up off of the ground, as he plummeted forward towards the reigning champion of DeathWatch, “You can’t intimidate me with that shi-” Jack mused, as he attempted to swing his chainsaw at Travis’ chest, but Travis swiped his hand away from him, as he dropped his leg right on his gut.
Jack fell back with his back impacting the ground, as Travis grabbed him by the collar and repeatedly socking him in the face. “Didn’t expect that, did ya’!” Travis taunted, as he continued to sock him in the face, before he slammed Jack’s face against the ground.
Travis snickered as he drew out his Blood Berry, as Jack mindlessly swung his chainsaw over and over, before Travis bashed him right in the face with the blunt end of his Blood Berry, which caused Jack to get a small amount of blood on his face, as Travis twirled his Blood Berry back around to his beam end. As Travis was about to swing his beam katana down.
“Fuck head!”
Travis swung his Blood Berry beam katana towards Jack, as he struggled to get loose of the grip that he had on him, and it was ultimately not worth the effort he put into it, as the beam katana in a matter of seconds made contact with Jack’s chest, almost making contact to his heart, with Travis only missing by a few inches.
SHKKK
Jack groaned in pain as he found himself stabbed by the beam katana, as Travis ejected it from his chest, causing blood to rush out from the gaping wound that Jack had received, the reigning champion covered the bleeding before falling limp, as Travis stood up.
(Stop-Music)
Travis put his Blood Berry beam katana up in the air in victory, as Howard and Kreese ended up watching, “Well folks, you saw that right, our reigning champion had gotten himself killed by a newbie!” Howard exclaimed in shock, but also not feeling so bad about Jack’s death.
“Bullshit! Who gives a damn about a fuckin’ lightsaber, when you got a motherfucking CHAINSAAAW!” Kreese stormed, as he was the only one who really cared about Jack’s death. “Calm your shit, Kreese, at least we won’t have repetition for the third time.” Howard replied nonchalantly, but Kreese wanted to see more blood, as he knew if Jack could not kill Travis, nobody else could.
“But hey, at least he didn’t scream like a little girl when he got himself killed.” Howard reported, as he continued to watch. “Yeah, a little girl that can kick your ass!” Kreese retorted, but what they were both surprised to see, was that Travis turned around towards Jack supposed corpse, and he saw that it was starting to move.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM3TfFXJies)
“Bastard, why the hell aren’t you dead yet!?” Travis stormed, as he drew back his Blood Berry, Jack refused to reply as he spat a small amount of blood. “Shut the hell up and fight, joke.” Jack replied, as he had managed to charge his chainsaw back up for another round of fighting during his time on the ground.
VVVRRRRM!!
Jack activated his cybernetic chainsaw, causing it to whirl on his hand, as Jack began to dart towards Travis, as he tried to knee him straight in the face. Jack blocked the knee attack from Travis, as he swung the back of his leg towards Travis gut, which successfully impacted Travis.
Travis stumbled backwards, as he tripped on the ground and caused him to fall on the ground. Travis pushed himself up, as Jack stomped on Travis’ back as he was about to get to his feet. “I’m fine with playing dirty as well, you know.” Jack nonchalantly uttered, as Travis flipped forward to get away from Jack for the meantime.
Travis pointed the Blood Berry beam katana towards Jack, before dashing towards him swiftly, as Jack stood still with his chainsaw armed and at the ready, and without hesitation, both of them swung at each other at the same time, causing them both to get blade locked with each other.
DESPERATE STRUGGLE!
Travis and Jack were still locked, in a battle of beam katana against chainsaw, to see which one was superior, and who was better at wielding their average weapons. Travis and Jack both pushed themselves forward, in an attempt to push the other back and wail on them.
PRESS A
Jack used all of his strength in order to push Travis down in order for him to bend downward, before leaping upwards in order to make a kick directly at the back of the neck, causing Travis to fall forward.
Jack was not done yet despite this, as he grabbed Travis by the back of the head and lifted him back up to his feet, and began to punch him in the face over and over, as Travis swung his Blood Berry. “Son of a bitch, just stay put so I can cut off your head!” Travis shrieked, as Jack tilted back in order to avoid the swing, before tossing him towards a train passing by.
“It looks like Jack is gonna give Travis a ride on the pain train!” Howard exclaimed, as the train revealed to have spikes on the outside of the train, which Travis noticed quickly as he began to soar towards it. “What the hell is with this bastard and spikes?“ Travis thought, as he slashed the train driving by, ripping a hole through it while also being able to stop himself in mid air.
Jack rolled forward towards Travis, as he smashed his head against his before slapping Travis’ face over and over, showing no signs of stopping the brutality nor showing any signs of remorse. Which finally, Jack ended it off with his chainsaw pointed directly at Travis, before swinging it at his chest.
HAAACK!
Jack gashed a long wound into Travis’ chest, as it began to spew blood from said wound, as Travis glared at him. “You’re gonna fucking pay!” Travis exclaimed, as he grabbed Jack from behind, and lifted him up. Travis fell backward, but in turn he slammed Jack against the ground at full force.
“LOOKS LIKE TRAVIS IS GIVING JACK A ONE WAY TICKET TO SUPLEX CITY!” Howard shouted
Travis immediately jumped up from the suplex, as Jack groaned in annoyance as he got back up, cracking his knuckles as he noticed that he needed to charge his chainsaw back up. Travis smirked in response to this, “Tired, fuck face?” Travis rhetorically asked, as he drew what seemed to be a pair of red curved blades equipped with hand guards.
They were none other than the Rose Nasty, the weapon that his assassinated friend Bishop Shidux desired.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zPF_aroodw)
Travis scoffed, he was still completely confident of victory despite Jack clearly having the physical strength advantage, and even if he lost he was not gonna go down without a very bloody fight. Travis ran towards Jack, as he dove towards Jack as he swung both of the Red Nasty blades, which looked as if they were curves sabers.
Once Travis swung, he managed to carve an ‘X’ into Jack’s chest, which caused him to fall forwards as he tried to swing his fist towards the crownless king of the United Assassins Association, as Travis kicked Jack back up to his feet, as Travis swung his two Red Nasty curved blades together, to what seemed to be a burst of red energy in Jack’s point of view.
Jack did not want to know the result of what would happen if he got hit by the supposed ‘burst of red energy’, especially because it was heading towards his heart, and as such he jumped to the side, causing Travis to awkwardly stumble forward. “Fuck you!” Travis called out, as Jack turned towards him and drawing his pair of daggers.
“Get a piece of the champ.” Jack mused, as once again they both mindlessly dashed towards each other, with nothing but their dual weapons and their urge to kill. Travis and Jack both swung their dual blades, as Jack kneed Travis back up against a wall. “Son of a bitch, get a load of this shit!” Travis retorted, as he swung the Rose Nasty blades a fourth time, but this was four strikes your out for Travis (Even if it is supposed to be three), as the beam katana duo ran out of power.
“Ah hell-”
SNKT! SNKT!
Jack stabbed the pair of daggers stationary on Travis’ chest, as blood began to run down his shirt, but Travis spat blood at Jack’s eye in order to stun him for the moment. Travis grasped one of the daggers stuck within him, and ejected it from his chest with a squirt of blood.
Travis snatched the other and ejected it alongside the first dagger, and tossed them both to the side. Jack gritted his teeth, as he picked up a tire from the sidelines, before throwing it at Travis in an overhead motion. Travis snickered at the sheer ridiculous sight that he saw, before putting aside the Rose Nasty blades, and instead getting out a different beam katana model.
The Tsubaki Mark I.
“You seriously fuckin’ think that a tire is enough to kill me!?” Travis boasted, as he swung the Tsubaki beam katana at the tire soaring through the air, causing it to get cleaved in two with a spark of blue colored energy. Travis tossed the two halves of the tire off to the sidelines casually, before leaping upwards; and falling straight back down with his Tsubaki in hand.
Jack just groaned, “More of this shit.” Jack murmured as he made a jab at Travis’ chest, causing him to get launched out of the street corner that they were in within Varrigan City, and out in the open on the streets. “FUCKING HELL-” Travis yelled, as he twirled around in the air without his intention, before dropping flat on his face.
Travis shook his head rapidly before regaining himself, and dusting off the residue of the cement on his shirt and vest. He turned back to where the fight between him and Jack was taking place, and he could not spot him anywhere within the street corner. “Now where did that bastard run off too?” Travis thought, as he looked around for him.
“There is no sight of this bastard anywhere, I bet he ran off like a little bitch.” Travis murmured, as he still had his Tsubaki beam katana model drawn if Jack was up to any dirty tactics. What seemed to be a pair of flashlights were activated in a dark alleyway of the city, which caused Travis to go behind cover, as he was about to swing his Tsubaki.
“Time to kill this bastard, for real this time.” Travis promised to himself, as he turned around, but what he saw proved that he would need more than just his Tsubaki for this. Jack was now in a customized motorcycle, as Jack activated the motor, as Travis widened his eyes. “Ah, damn!” Travis exclaimed, as he booked it away from the now Jack going commando.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQY5LqLOWRE)
VRRRRRRM!!
Jack floored it out of the alleyway, and took chase at Travis across the streets of Varrigan City, with Travis heavily relying on his leg strength to pull him all the way. “Shit shit shit shit shiiiit!” Travis exclaimed, as he continue to flee from Jack’s rage, which due to his constant talking and attitude, he had a ton of it.
Travis dove out of the way of Jack’s careless driving, as the brutal mercenary turned to where he saw him move away, as he turned his motorcycle around in order to continue chasing. But what he ended up seeing was Travis driving his very own mode of transportation, his motorbike Schpeltiger.
“Didn’t expect that one coming, did ya’!” Travis boasted, as both competitors put the pedal to the medal, as they sped towards each other. Both of their motorbikes, or motorcycles found their pilots to hit the gas, as they drove up in order to ram straight into each other.
Both of their motorcycles were momentarily airborne for a brief few seconds, before they made contact with each other, and as Travis’ motorbike was bulkier than Jack’s simple motorcycle. “Now this is what I call specialization!” Travis exclaimed, as he continued to drive towards Jack.
They both continued to slam into each other as they drove down the street, as if this were to be a game of bumper cars, (Or in this case bumper motorcycles/motorbikes) until one of their vehicles would finally stop working. They just continued ramming into each other, mindlessly just trying to kill each other off.
Jack swiftly swerved to the left at the final time that they tried to ram into each other, before Jack had his newly charged chainsaw up in the ready, and swinging it at Travis while he was distracted. The chainsaw ended up cutting straight through Travis’ arm, as he grunted in pain, “Bastard!” Travis exclaimed before Jack rammed Schpeltiger from behind with his own motorcycle.
This ended up causing Schpeltiger to tumble forward as it ended up falling on it’s side, and trapping Travis’ left foot in between the ground and his motorcycle, Jack drove extremely quickly towards Travis as it caused him to be briefly airborne.
Jack leapt off of his motorcycle while he was still airborne, before tossing his motorcycle downward towards Schpeltiger and the wedged Travis, “Grr, screw this!” Travis exclaimed as he cut his Schpeltiger in order to get himself freed from getting pinned down, as Jack’s motorcycle crashed into the motorbike for the final time, as both modes of transportation would find themselves..
BOOM!
They both ended up exploding once making contact, but considering that Travis was not engulfed in the explosion as Jack had hoped it would most likely to be considered a draw. Travis turned back around to where Jack was standing, but he was not standing anymore as he was bolting towards him as fast as possible.
Travis scoffed, “You’ve just signed your own death warrant.” Travis boasted as he drew his Tsubaki, but he noticed that the beam for his beam katana model was no longer there, and he needed to charge it. Travis groaned, “Not this bullshit again-“ Travis thought, before his pondering came to a screeching halt by a sign getting ripped off of the ground.
This was Jack ripping a nearby sign post straight out of the ground, before whacking Travis with the blunt end of said sign post. “Do you think it’s possible for you to shut the fuck up?” Jack rhetorically asked in an insulting manner, before flipping the sign post horizontally, before swinging the sign post at Travis like it was a baseball bat
THWACK!
Travis coughed out a squirt of blood as he was launched airborne for a few moments, before he began tumbling down to the cold, hard, ground below, as Jack followed him in order to not lose track of where he went. Both Travis and Jack met up out in the open, as it seemed as if they were gonna go straight back to clashing with each other the good ol’ fashioned way.
(Stop-Music)
“Lookie, we found them.” Somebody in the distance muttered, as once he revealed himself from the shadows, he was with an entire group of fashionably dressed assassins with all sorts of weaponry ranging from axes, knives, swords, firearms, you name it. But they all had one thing in common, they wanted the championship and the 100 million dollar reward.
“More specifically, we found the reigning champion, and I get to keep his head!” One of the assassins exclaimed as the entire herd began dashing towards both Travis and Jack, “Only if you get there first!” Another assassin retorted, as they all took aim with their firearms or drew their blades.
“Ignore these distractions, just kill them if they get in our way.” Jack instructed, which Travis smirked in response as he shook his Tsubaki up and down rapidly, before the beam reappeared, indicating that it had been recharged. Even if this was gonna be a long fight, at least there will be more bloodshed.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dVKMla1LAY)
“Woah, it looks like all of the other assassins want their part in the carnage! Though considering how brutal these two competitors are, they are acting as if they don’t have a head.” Howard reported, as the assassins continued dashing towards each other. “You know how a cockroach can live for ten days without it’s head?” Kreese asked.
“Big deal, I went through eight years of marriage without any head.” Howard retorted, as both Travis and Jack punched each other, before rolling out of the way of the ambush of the assassins, with bullets flying everywhere and knives getting swung around all over the place.
Travis attempted to swing his Tsubaki beam katana model at Jack, but the group of assassins were foolish enough to be attacking Jack from the front, where Travis had swung his Tsubaki forward. “GAAH!” The struck assassins yelled, as they were sliced apart by the Tsubaki.
Travis leaped over the crowd of assassins, kicking those who tried to swing their blades at him straight in the face before rolling forward, as he punched Jack right in the face, before one of the assassins grappled Jack by the throat, Travis lost his grin after seeing this. “Hey, that’s my kill!” Travis exclaimed, before swinging the Tsubaki at the assassin
SWISH!
“GAAAH!” The assassin cried out, as Travis pushed aside his two halves of his corpse, not giving a single fuck about the brutality.
Jack shook off the strangling that the assassin gave to his neck, before dashing back towards the crownless king of the United Assassins Association. Travis attempted to swing his Tsubaki forward towards Jack, but the sparks and beam of the beam katana ended up dissipating, as it ended up running out of power.
“Shit.” Travis murmured, as Jack attempted to swing his fist at Travis’ face, but Jack noticed that his foe ended up ducking under the jab in order to avoid it before grappling him. Travis turned Jack all the way around, before slamming him head first to the concrete below their feet.
Travis turned back around to see that more assassins were heading his way, one of which was a lot more elderly than the rest that he saw, as he wielded what seemed to be an oversized revolver, as Travis quickly realized that this was none other than the president of Santa Destroy Bank named Million Gunman.
“All of you are fucking mindless, this is our fuckin’ fight, not yours!” Travis insulted, before putting aside his worn out Tsubaki, and pulling out the second model of the line of Tsubaki beam katanas, the Tsubaki Mark II. Travis rammed up to all of the assassins, before twirling the Tsubaki Mk. II around and..
SHNK!!
Travis impaled his Tsubaki Mk. II beam katana model directly through each of the assassins’ chests, causing them to let out blood curdling screams of pure agony as their blood stained the streets and the beam katana Travis was wielding, before Travis curved the beam katana to the right, causing it to slice through the assassins, finally killing them.
“They’ll turn us into heroes!” Another herd of assassins said, as they charged towards Jack, which the reigning champion just rolled his eyes before dashing towards them, as he stomped one of the assassins’ heads into the ground.
CRACK!
The assassin’s skull found itself getting pierced, with a nearly eight inch hole getting engraved into it solely from the stomp of Jack’s foot, another assassin got out his dual katanas, as he swung them both downward at Jack’s arms, Jack rolled backward before grabbing an explosive drum from behind himself. Another assassin walked next to the one Jack was already fighting, and they both charged towards him without a planned attack.
BOOM!
The two assassins were impacted by the explosive drum that Jack had thrown, causing them both to explode in a shower of blood and various organs, and it caused the remaining assassins around them to get disoriented.
Jack took advantage of this as much as possible, as he took out an extremely oversized spear, before taking charge towards the crowd of dizzy assassins. “It’s your mistake that your minds were shitty enough to think this was a good idea.” Jack stated, before slowly swinging the spear at all of the assassins, despite the spear being used as a stabbing weapon.
SLIIISH!!
“GAAAH!!”
“HELP ME!!”
All sorts of cries for help were heard from the slowly dying assassins including the ones above, as the only one remaining in their area after all of the insanity was completely horrified, as Travis walked behind him, “I would say I feel sorry for you, but to put it bluntly, I don’t feel a damn thing.” Travis commented, before making one final swing.
SWISH!!
Blood splattered the streets once more, as this time the assassin that was sliced apart was killed instantly, as his sliced apart corpse fell to the ground. Travis and Jack ended up turning back towards each other, with Jack snatching a pair of firearms from two of the deceased assassins.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAx7NU8hZsE)
Jack without hesitation opened fire at Travis, showering him with bullets and all of them perfectly aligned due to Jack’s accuracy. But accuracy could only do so much against Travis’ beam katanas, as he swung the Tsubaki Mk. II around swiftly in order to deflect the bullets straight back towards Jack, who wound back up his trusty chainsaw.
VRRRRRM!
Jack cut straight through the onslaught of deflected bullets with his chainsaw, as the severed bullets dropped harmlessly to the floor, as Jack kicked them to the side of the road. Travis leaped forward, as he was surely getting pissed at the fact that Jack just could not die.
“YOU!”
Travis hopped forward at Jack, with his Tsubaki Mk. II ready for action, as Jack attempted to swing forward. Travis socked his foe straight in the face, as he attempted to swing the Tsubaki Mk. II beam katana.
“FUCK!”
Jack tilted his head back away from the swing of the Tsubaki Mk. II, which only infuriated Travis even more than he already had been, as he attempted another swing forward at Jack’s chest.
“HEAD!”
Travis and Jack both punched each other in the gut at the exact same time, but Travis found himself stunned for a slightly longer portion of time, as Jack began to walk towards him. Travis quickly knew what this meant as he snapped out of his hazy state, before Jack swung his chainsaw downward, as Travis swung his Tsubaki Mk. II upward.
DESPERATE STRUGGLE!
Travis and Jack continued to try and overpower the other, with the Tsubaki Mk. II repeatedly rotating and delivering off faint blue sparks around the two clashing killers, as Travis seemed to be getting the upper hand.
PRESS A!
Jack made a left hook directly at Travis left cheek, causing him to stumble back and cough up a small portion of blood, as Jack rolled behind him and made a drop kick at Travis’ back, making him fall forward on his face. Travis twirled himself around and made a spinning kick at Jack’s groin.
Jack stumbled back, but did not receive so much as a scratch from the attack that Travis pulled off, before he lifted the crownless king by the left leg, and repeatedly slammed him into the ground without mercy.
Travis gritted his teeth as he got his face getting caved in up to the ground by Jack, as he tried swinging his other leg at Jack’s face, which caused him to skid a few inches on the ground backwards, but Jack only spat a small spitball of blood at Travis, as it stained his cheek. “Fuck you.” Travis retorted, before getting thrown against a wall.
Jack turned to the left side of where Travis was launched, and ended up noticing there was a garbage can just standing there, which Jack casually strolled to it and grabbing the garbage can, before leaping back up to Travis.
PRESS B!
Jack smashed Travis inside the garbage can, as a downpour of blood came oozing down from the inside of the garbage can, Jack removed the garbage can and tossed it to the side before kicking the Tsubaki Mk. II out of Travis’ grasp. Travis threw a punch at Jack as he did, which he put his hand up in order to block.
Jack made one more physical attack, with him slamming the crownless king Travis with his shoulders, before he took out his trusty spiked bat. Travis was momentarily stunned by the shoulder slam, giving Jack a perfect opportunity to unleash a..
THWAAAACK!!
“SHIIIIIIIIIT!” Travis shouted as he was launched up into the sky with a twinkle, as Jack placed the spiked bat on his shoulders, scoffing. “You don’t fit, in a Mad World.” Jack retorted.
The Tower, Casino Land
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyRoXZDtKzo)
There were a collection of mini-games taking place in The Tower, as there were various assassins trying to best themselves against other assassins by launching them against a gigantic dart board, or killing the Big Bull Crockers. Unbeknownst to them however, what seemed to be a small shooting star was actually Travis falling through the sky, and heading straight towards The Tower.
CRASH!
Travis crash landed into The Tower, as audience members went absolutely ape shit, as many of the assassins were killed upon impact, with the exception of the Big Bull Crockers. A nearby helicopter ended up diving into the scene, and dropping down Travis’ still main foe, Jack Cayman of course.
“You just can’t fuckin’ die, can ya’?” Travis asked, as he drew his last and most useful out of his Tsubaki line, the Tsubaki Mark III. “Shut the hell up,” Jack retorted, as he drew a golf club. “I don’t give a shit what your last words are.”
Travis and Jack made a break for it towards each other, as they swung their Tsubaki Mk. III and Golf Club respectively, with each getting blocked by the other. Both of them swung their weapons again, and it proved to just be the same results as the first. Jack swung his leg as they retracted their weapons back, which Travis snatched while he attempted to kick him.
“Die!” Travis exclaimed, as he tried to swing his Tsubaki Mk. III at the reigning champion, who used his other leg to bash Travis’ face in, causing him to fall to the floor. Travis however had not let go of Jack’s leg, and yanked him down face first alongside him. It was there, that Jack had saw the Big Bull Crockers walking towards him.
Jack bounced himself up to his feet, as did Travis as he tried to make an attack at the reigning champion while he was vulnerable, but Jack was too swift for that, as he pulled out a katana and sliced it at the Big Bull Crocker, as it wailed in pain as blood rapidly dripped down from the ripped open neck.
Jack swung his katana violently at the Big Bull Crocker’s neck a second time, which caused the gigantic foe twice his size to get beheaded, and the Big Bull Mask landing in Jack’s left hand. Travis regardless of what he just had seen continued to take chase at Jack, until he found himself bashed straight in the face by the Big Bull Mask.
Travis stumbled back, as Jack tried to burst his head open with the Big Bull Mask, which Travis used his Tsubaki Mk. III to stab the mask in place, before ripping it out and repeatedly slashing it open, causing it to fall to small fragments on the floor, shattering even further once it impacted said floor.
Jack groaned, before tossing the katana to the side, and getting out a different weapon this time around. The Magnet Gun.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRwFwNr3a4U)
“Not even a fancy gun is enough to do the trick!” Travis boasted, as he dashed towards Jack, but he stopped once he heard clanging coming from the distance. He noticed that a small metal storage crate was slightly skidding towards The Tower, almost as if it were to be getting pulled by force, until it got launched up to the Magnet Gun that Jack was wielding, as he took aim.
“Oh fuck!” Travis exclaimed, as he tried dashing out of the crosshairs of Jack’s Magnet Gun, as he fired the small metal storage crate towards him, Travis was just quick enough in order for the Magnet Gun to barely miss, with it grazing his back. Jack used the Magnet Gun to attract another metal crate, this one being a slight amount smaller than the first, but Jack did not care much.
Jack launched the metal crate towards Travis, who ducked under it in order to avoid getting his head bursted all over The Tower, but Jack just continued to get another metal crate, and firing it while Travis was still ducking. Travis’ eyes widened, as he scrambled back up in order to avoid the metal crate, but he was struck anyway and launched up against the ropes.
Travis bounced back against the ropes, as he skidded forward with his face sliding against the floor, Travis pushed himself back up while coughing out the fragments of the floor he got.
Travis quickly regained himself once he saw that Jack was hunting him down with a katana, as he swung the blade at Travis’ neck. Travis swiped Jack’s arm out of the way so he was not decapitated by the katana, before swinging his Tsubaki Mk. III at his chest while he was out in the open
SWISH!
A large scar was engraved onto Jack’s chest, causing him to try and stop the bleeding as quickly as possible, but Travis was not gonna be so merciful, as he repeatedly punched Jack, with no signs of stopping. That was until Jack hammered Travis down to his knees with his two fists.
Jack equipped himself with a torch shortly afterwards, but his plan was not to ignite Travis with it, instead he was gonna be a bit more, creative than that. Jack took a bite of the fire that was on the tip of the torch, which confused the audience that was watching the carnage unfold, but it quickly made sense as he spat out an inferno of fire at Travis while he was down.
“HOT HOT HOT! FUCK FUCK FUCK!” Travis exclaimed as he darted around The Tower like a chicken with it’s head cut off, before the fire ended up dissipating after a good few moments having past, Travis noticed that the Tsubaki Mk. III had also had it’s beam fade away.
“Looks like it’s time to bring out my favorite.” Travis murmured, as he tossed his Tsubaki Mk. III straight off of The Tower, before unleashing the most powerful and most devastating beam katana model up for his disposal.
The Peony.
Jack turned towards Travis in disbelief, but not in a positive type of disbelief that you would expect, more disbelief that all of this time spent only had evolved into just another beam katana model. “This is honestly the end to all of the time I had wasted?” Jack asked displeased, which Travis smirked in response.
“No, not even close.”
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYZw09pSN3U)
Travis’ entire physical form seemed to have taken a shift, as out of nowhere three slot machines appeared in between the two combatants, to everybody but Travis they had no idea what in the hell this meant. But Travis knew exactly what was going on, he was going into his Dark Side Mode. And as he looked to the slot machines, as he saw he had gotten three grasshoppers.
“STRAWBERRY ON THE SHORTCAKE!!”
Travis’ Peony found itself highly charged in a burst of red sparks, as Travis’ hair turned bright yellow, with his viewpoint becoming completely blurry. This did not stop Travis however, as he bolted through out The Tower as if he was lightning, with red arced flashes appearing as he did.
Two of which appeared up against Jack, who was completely confused as to what the hell was going on, “Where is this bastard..“ Jack thought, as he attempted swinging his katana at one of the flashes of what seemed to be lightning, but the katana flew straight out of Jack’s grasp, and it fell all the way down the tower.
Travis appeared distorted for a second as the Strawberry on the Shortcake effect began to fade, but as the effect faded..
TWWIIIIIP!!
Two gigantic scar marks were engraved onto Jack’s chest, as he grunted loudly out of sheer agony, as he had enough of this bullshit. Jack decided to get out the mother of all chainsaws, the Double Chainsaw. This time Jack was the chaser, as he staggered towards Travis before swinging his Double Chainsaw, as Travis swung his Peony.
DESPERATE STRUGGLE!
Travis and Jack were now in the final Desperate Struggle, this time with their most powerful weapons at their disposal, as Travis began to quickly overwhelm Jack with his brute Peony strength, this was his most powerful beam katana model for sure, Jack could confirm that.
PRESS A-
Jack did not even get granted enough time to counter attack, as Travis swung his Peony beam katana all the way down, causing Jack to fall on his back. Travis leapt up and crashed his feet against Jack’s face, before leaping back up in the air and falling on his feet back to the ground.
Jack pushed himself back up, and he, was, pissed.
Jack put his Double Chainsaw to the side for the moment, as he equipped the mammoth of a cannon, the Missile Launcher. “You little shit!” Jack scolded, before he began to rapidly fire missiles at Travis while he was standing there, but he was standing there because the three slot machines appeared again, and they ended up getting the three BARs
“CRANBERRY CHOCOLATE SUNDAE!!“
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6id1B1Lyq8)
The entire surroundings in Travis’ point of view faded into a monochrome scheme, as all he could do is walk, but as such he strolled up to Jack before making a taunt at him. “You’re fuckin’ screwed now, you know that!?” Travis taunted, before he finally ended up making an actual attack at the immobile Jack.
The Peony ripped straight through Jack, as he stabbed him straight through the chest with it, causing Jack to cough up a large amount of blood, and in response to this Travis grabbed him by the back of the head, and repeatedly bashed his face in. He ended up bashing Jack over and over for so long that the monochrome scheme ended up fading away from sight, as Jack got back up exhausted, but he knew he had to end this, as a dual chainsaw in an orange scheme was activated.
The Gator Tooth.
“It’s time to become gator bait, you shit!” Jack shrieked, as he wound up the Gator Tooth, as Jack made his dash towards Travis, either he was gonna die, or he was gonna kill his foe. Travis swung his Peony forward in order to try and behead Jack, but he soon realized that Jack had tilted himself back, as he swung his Gator Tooth forward
WRRRRRM!!
Travis held up his Peony to where Jack had swung his Gator Tooth, as they got caught in another blade lock, this time Travis was not even gonna bother with the blade lock, as he kicked Jack right in the stomach in order to force him to back up.
Jack shrieked as he charged down Travis with his Gator Tooth held up in the air like a maniac, as he swung his Gator Tooth forward, but as they did this Travis had activated his last Dark Side mode up for use, as the slot machines were summoned for the final time, and this time they got exactly what Travis was hoping for. Three cherries.
“THIS IS THE END!!”
Jack was heavily slowed down by the effect of the Cherry Dark Side ability, which gave Travis the perfect opportunity to finish the job, as he stabbed the Peony right into Jack’s right arm, causing him to grunt in agony. But Jack was not gonna get a break, as Travis curved his Peony in order to sever his arm from his shoulders.
Travis punted the arm equipped with the Gator Tooth upwards, and surprisingly to the audience the chainsaw was still running, as it began to fall straight towards the helpless Jack, as he tried to back himself away, but he was just too slow.
VRRRRRRRM!!!
The Gator Tooth was launched straight into Jack’s chest, as it tore straight through him from the top all the way to the bottom, as this time Jack was yelling out of agony rather than just grunting, which pleased Travis’ ears. But this was no time to be a show-off, it was time that this battle was put to a close.
Travis rammed straight into Jack with the Peony, causing him to stab straight through his heart, as this combined with the previous severe injuries gained from the Cherry effect of Travis’ Dark Side mode, blood was splattering all over the place as if from a busted piñata, a very human piñata at that.
Travis kept Jack impaled on his Peony beam katana for the meantime, as he began swinging himself around in a circular motion that would make anybody dizzy, before Jack was launched straight off of the Peony and straight towards the gigantic dart board, “Shit..” Jack muttered, before he finally impacted the dart board.
THWAAAAACK!!!!
Jack’s blood was completely gushed all over The Tower, as Travis just stood there with his arms crossed, feeling triumphant over the now deceased Jack Cayman. But rather than paying respect to the worthy foe that he had fought, he spat a small amount of blood at his bursted corpse.
M-M-MONSTER K.O!
“And they said I wouldn’t fit in a ‘Mad World’” Travis spoke to himself, as the crowd began cheering loudly for the new victor of the DeathWatch competition. “Well folks, that’s an ending that nobody saw coming! And that finisher is what I call a heart attack!” Howard exclaimed, as he watched. “That’s what I call a dickwad comment,” Kreese retorted, but that was not the point.
“But the crowd has gone absolutely apeshit, and that was an outstanding performance from Travis Touchdown, and the now dead Jack. And I bet now he could go for a beer.” Kreese reported, “And because I could as well, it’s time for us to split, this has been Howard ‘Buckshot’ Holmes.” Howard stated, “And Kreese Kreely!”
“And we’ll see you in hell!” Both Howard and Kreese exclaimed, before the broadcast of DeathWatch ended up coming to an end, as Travis was still in The Tower, watching as the helicopter carrying the dart board, which had the majority of Jack’s blood splattered all over it, Travis just smirked as he waited for Sylvia.
“Now that, is what I call a fuckin’ battle.”
Conclusion (Remastered)[]
Boomstick: I think that’s a new record for goriest fight, like by a longshot.
Wiz: This was many times closer than our first fight, having excluded Glastonbury Jack had the brute strength advantage, plus the long range weaponry was something Travis did not possess.
Boomstick: But it hardly mattered what Jack would throw at him, because Travis’ durability is fucking insane! As his durability is basically the equivalent of anime physics, Travis could take the likes of stabbings in the heart, shootings, energy blasts, explosions, and even Dr. Letz Shake’s attacks without a problem
Wiz: Alongside this, Travis barely had the speed advantage, and Jack really had to find his own weaponry, while Travis had access to his whenever needed. Jack had access to the Power Struggle sure, but that could just as easily backfire on him as it could help him.
Boomstick: Meanwhile Travis’ trump card, the Dark Side mode is just completely insane. Giving Travis all sorts of abilities that Jack couldn’t even hope to counter
Wiz: And honestly, this just comes down to their respective series. While Jack has always had that sort of realism brought into him, despite having superhuman attributes. Travis is just a complete nut case when it comes to abilities, as they are just frankly absurd, whether it’s Dark Side mode, his durability, you name it.
Boomstick: Now, this isn’t to say that this wasn’t a close fight, hell this was one of our toughest matches to date. But all and all, Jack will just be boarding the second loss group.
Wiz: The winner is, Travis Touchdown. For the second time.
Travis Touchdown vs Jack Cayman is an episode of SoMaShadow's Death Battles. It features Travis Touchdown from the No More Heroes video game series, and Jack Cayman from the Madworld video game series.
Description[]
No More Heroes vs Madworld!
Interlude[]
Travis[]
Jack[]
DEATH BATTLE![]
Conclusion[]
Trivia[]
| “ | No More Heroes vs MadWorld! These two have fought their way through not just plenty of killers aiming for that number one spot, but some of the bloodiest games on the Wii. However, they're now trying to take their titles as the best killers from each other. | „ |
Intro[]
Person 1: Imagine, if you can, a massive squad of killers, all working for an organization that pits them in fights to the death, where only one can win. That's what these two have found themselves in, and they just so happen to be the ones capable of being that winner.
Person 2: Travis Touchdown, No More Heroes' No More Hero.
Person 3: And Jack Cayman, MadWorld's reigning Deathwatch champion.
Person 2: I'm Person 2, that guy over there who won't introduce himself is Person 1.
Person 3: And I'm Person 3.
Person 1: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to figure out who would win... a Death Battle.
Travis Touchdown Strikes Again in DEATH BATTLE![]
Person 3: You ever wanted someone dead? Well, just head over to this town in California known as Santa Destroy. The United Assassins Association has a perfect selection of killers to get the job done.
Person 2: Which is what we would say if they weren't all busy trying to kill each other, because that seems to be its real purpose. The assassins here battle it out in a ranking system to decide who is the best among them.
Person 1: However, one day, a new rookie had joined, and he managed to successfully sash his way to the top. This was Travis Touchdown.
Person 2: Despite all the confidence he brings with himself, Travis didn't exactly have the best childhood. His father was a serial killer, and he and his siblings, Henry and Jeane, had decided to run away. Nobody knows what happened to Travis after that, but now he's an adult living a motel with a low rent and an even lower service level.
Person 3: But one night, he met this woman, Sylvia Christel. Then he got super drunk and rambled to her about his ex-girlfriend, who he didn't know was Jeane. Turns out Jeane had apparently somehow ruined Travis' life in a way that's never explained.
Person 1: Turns out Sylvia was a con artist, and had set up the entire United Assassins Association just so that Travis could fight Jeane and get revenge, which he succeeded in. But things weren't over yet.
Person 2: A real UAA was formed, and its top ranked assassin killed Travis' best friend, Bishop. Why? Well, because during Travis' killing spree to become the best assassin, he had killed the father and brothers of the new UAA's best assassin, Jasper Batt Jr.
Person 3: So Travis took his beam katana and set out to become the best assassin again, but this time, for revenge... and sex from Sylvia. She promised him.
Person 1: Yeah, Travis isn't exactly the classiest person around. He's even shown to be rather inconsistent when it comes to killing women. One moment he's totally fine with it, and the next he's sparing their lives. In addition, he really loves taunting enemies, especially those that he's about to kill.
Person 2: But despite that, Travis is far from a bad person. He's forgiven people for trying to kill him, and even became pissed off at his enemies after finding out that one of those three people died, and that another one of them lost their arms in a battle. He's even tried comforting the daughter of his late friend. It didn't exactly go well, but it was something. Oh, and who could forget the whole 'revenge quest' thing he did after Bishop died?
Person 3: But the one thing he's always looking for is a fight. In fact, he believes men are born to fight. He's complimented the skills of other assassins, and is interested in fighting ones who look like they could be challenging. That being said, he by no means believes in survival of the fittest. In fact, he's even tried to spare people just because they were tough. That might have something to do with him being able to sense the bloodlust of his enemies, and how much of it there it. He even eventually decided the the UAA to be terrible for setting up fights to the death, and went into retirement after having his revenge against Jasper.
(N.M.H)
Person 2: Travis has some other powers. He can swim through air, break the fourth wall, kick energy blasts hard enough to deflect them, increase his strength to the point where he can dislocate someone's neck, and endure singing so bad it makes Person 1 look like a good singer. Seriously, he fought someone whose singing could leave you in a coma for a week, and possibly even kill you.
Person 1: I'll take that as a compliment. Anyway, Travis is also able to tap into numerous buffs thanks to his Dark Side Mode. Contrary to popular belief, he doesn't have to kill someone to use it. He can run as fast as lightning, shoot energy blasts, become intangible, turn into a tiger, slow time, and create a series of explosions. And these have proven that they can last for minutes.
Person 3: Alternatively, he can use the Slash Reel, which can turn him invincible or increase his speed. Too bad these all only last for a few seconds, and he has to deliver a strong hit, wrestle someone, or land a kill to have even a chance to activate it. Adding onto that, whenever he hits someone, he builds up his Ecstasy Gauge, and when full, it can give him yet another speed boost. When fighting, Travis' mind goes blank. He thinks of it as a form of etiquette between him and his enemies. this allows him to fight with nothing but his instincts.
Person 2: When it comes to combat, Travis picked up some swordsmanship and hand-to-hand skills from a correspondence school. He can easily disorient others with his punches and kicks, and has clashed with someone who only needed a day to learn techniques that would otherwise take years. This also brings us to his bread and butter, his beam katanas. Despite being a retired assassin, he's still no slouch with them.
Person 3: The first of them is the Blood Berry, which Travis had bought during an online auction. It may sound like a bizarre thing for someone to sell in an auction, but trust me, I'd buy this battery-powered laser sword. It can slice through doors and extend its blade. Like all beam katanas, it can also be charged up to become stronger, or use its full power to create a massive blade.
Person 2: Travis has other beam katanas. The Tsubaki, better known as the Camellia, was made by Dr. Naomi for Travis to use. After going through two upgrades, it became the Camellia Mk-III, a stronger beam katana that never runs out of battery. But if we're talking strength, the Peony is his strongest beam katana, and it extends as his Ecstasy Gauge builds. Unfortunately, it's super slow, and its blade becomes shorter as his Ecstasy Gauge decreases. Lastly, he received a gift from his late best friend in the form of the Rose Nasty, two beam katanas that share the same battery.
Person 1: Travis' first method of transportation is a motorcycle, the Schpeltiger. Besides being an effective means of transportation, he serves as his main method of fighting those several times his size, as it lets him pilot the Glastonbury, a building-sized mech made by Dr. Naomi, equipped with flight, missiles, and an extendable energy sword that doubles as an energy rifle. It can even throw other building-sized mechs into space. He also has a second motorcycle, the Dem Zam Tiger. This one doesn't have any mech to go with it, but it has hidden energy blades inside it.
Person 3: With all this stuff helping him get revenge against Jasper, he finally got married to Sylvia and had two children. However, his happy life was cut short as he became the world's most wanted man, and abandoned his family to live out the rest of his life playing video games alone. Turns out a video game controller happened to be his most versatile weapon, the Death Glove. Despite being a controller for the Death Drive Mk-II, the Death Glove is equipped with various chips that let Travis do many things. While it may seem bizarre for a game controller to let him use lightning, wires to pull enemies, satellite lasers, energy blasts, bombs, skull turrets, telekinesis, healing, invisibility, teleporting dropkicks, and projectile rain, it should be noted that the Death Drive Mk-II was intended to be used to send clones of people to Mars, that's not too unexpected.
Person 1: The Death Glove can also create fake copies of Travis, slow time within a limited area, make a circle that pulls enemies towards it, steal vitality from others, spin around, dash, make walls, create energy blasts that take energy from others, give him a strength boost in exchange for a loss of speed, and let him shoot energy blasts from his beam katana. He can also talk to the Death Drive MK-II's creator, Dr. Juvenile, to gain information on anything within a galaxy's range.
Person 3: After a misadventure, Travis returned to Santa Destroy a few years later, only to find himself fighting an alien invasion. Because of this, he decided to bring out the Death Glove's greatest ability, his Full Armor. With it, Travis gains the ability to fly, and comes equipped with multiple missile launchers. If he needs more, he can enter Bougainvellia Mode and fight in space with homing energy blasts from floating turrets, a giant energy cannon on his shoulder, and arms replaced with energy blades. Alternatively, he can enter Full Green for ground combat. Besides the massive sword arm and the missile launchers, he can turn into a giant energy tiger.
Person 2: Travis is strong enough that he can knock people out with next to no effort, crush mugs, bust through doors, destroy giant machines, kick people out windows, and cut through planet-sized aliens.
Person 1: Travis is also incredibly fast. He could block and [1] bullets, avoid lasers, cut people down before they could react, and take on aliens that could draw swords at the speed of light. He even beat the leader of those aliens, who should be faster than them.
Person 3: However, Travis' main skill is how stupidly durable he is. For example, a bunch of stabs to the chest isn't enough to kill him. He's been blown up to the point where he should be beyond recognition, but he survived all of it, even an explosion that left a giant crater. He even survived shots from cannons that could destroy planets.
Person 1: Unfortunately, Travis is far from perfect. Besides his brashness, he's got some noticeable flaws. Besides the Camellia Mk-III, all of his beam katanas run on limited batteries, and to recharge them, he has to- actually, I'm just gonna move on from that.
Person 3: Oh come on, there's nothing wrong with it. At least I think. Anyway, his Dark Side Mode, even though it can last for minutes, isn't gonna last forever, and his Ecstasy Gauge and Slash Reel are not better when it comes to time limits. In addition, for whatever reason, Travis isn't interested in using the Glastonbury against anyone who isn't several times bigger than him. Lastly, his Death Glove is completely useless if it's covered in blood. But don't underestimate him.
Person 1: With the help of his friends, he had ended the invasion, but then a new problem emerged. His brother, Henry, had been watching movies and came to the conclusion that Travis was evil, so Henry formed a cult. Their future selves fought, but it ended with Henry winning, and attempting to destroy the planet. In order to prevent this, Travis's kids went back in time to warn him and get his help, but that was the end of his journey. We will never know what happened to him. All we know is that in a city of no more heroes, he had become a hero.
Travis: I’ve still got somewhere to go home to. But you… you don’t!
Jack Cayman fits right into the mad world of DEATH BATTLE[]
Person 3: Y'know how people say 'violence is never the answer'? That message probably didn't exist 2000 years ago. In Mesopotamia, war was the way of solving problems. They'd fight over everything, because if there are people, there is conflict. But then, an idea came from it.
Person 2: Freedom!
Person 3: Really?
Person 2: No, I'm kidding. A bunch of camps sent their personal champions to fight, and whoever won would be rewarded with the rule of law. And thus, the DeathWatch games were born. It's a violent competition where people battle to the death, for whether you wanna decide the something as big as a country's fate, or if you're having a minor feud. It's simple, fight to the death, and the winner gets a reward.
Person 1: Apparently, violence is the answer for these people. However, 2000 years later, a few people decided to host one for no reason other than their own entertainment. In order to force people to participate, they had some help from a doctor, who created a virus and infected everyone on this place known as Jefferson Island. The population was told to kill someone and enter Deathwatch for a chance at getting millions of dollars, along with a vaccine to cure the virus, or die within the next 24 hours.
Person 3: Meanwhile, all of Jefferson Island's exits and communication were cut off. Nobody was getting in, nobody was getting out, and nobody was getting rescued. That is, until a man showed up from the outside. This was Jack Cayman.
Person 1: Having graduated from Stanfield, which I'm assuming is a fictional university because trying to look into it tells me its real-life counterpart is a clothing store, Jack joined the marines. He's been through airport takeovers and hostage situations, even earning himself three Silver Stars.
Person 3: But then he left the army to work as a police officer and detective. That is, until one specific case he had. He started arguing with his higher-ups over what strategy to use, and he went rogue. After that, he was brought into the Chasers, a group of bounty hunters who search for missing children, dangerous criminals, and the like.
Person 2: He took up the job of brining in information about DeathWatchers, the people who run Deathwatch games. In exchange, everything about him was erased. He's like a different person. His name, his eye color, even his fingerprints are new. In reality, he was the Deathwatch champion, only under a different name. He was sent because he was that one guy who knew what Deathwatchers do. He had won three games, and came to make it four while working alongside Amala to gather data.
Person 3: Occasional moments of him being snarky aside, Jack is a professional and a man of few words. He stays calm and level-headed during his job, and does a pretty good job and not visibly reacting to all the weird shit going on around him. I mean, come on, wouldn't you at least be a little surprised to find yourself fighting a guy with jet turbine or a group of people dressed as wolves?
Person 1: Another thing to note about him is that you can say what you want about his methods of killing others being extreme, but he's not exactly into it. He's admitted to have gotten tired of killing others, and joined the Deathwatch game with the intent of stopping it by winning.
Person 2: He's also probably doing this for audience reputation. He became a fan-favorite pretty quickly, and even after the DeathWatchers found out about his intentions, they couldn't do anything, as killing a fan-favorite competitor who over a quarter of an audience is betting on would be a huge loss for them.
Person 3: I doubt that reputation isn't somehow related to his insane skill. He's survived multiple DeathWatch games, and beat someone who survived 10 of them. Plus, he should have training from his time in the military and police force. Besides that, he's taken on wrestlers, cowboys, vampires, zombies, and giant robots.
Person 2: He's not just skilled when fighting on foot, but also on his trusty vehicle of transportation, his motorcycle. While riding it, he could easily attack people with one hand, robbing them of their rides and throwing them aside or just killing them on the spot. He even once got into a motorcycle fight, and won by driving up his opponent's motorcycle and then dropping his bike on him, creating a massive explosion.
Person 1: But Jack's main skill is his absurd resourcefulness. He'll make good use of his surroundings, tossing his enemies into those spiked walls and garbage bins lying around to kill them. Basically, if he can find something, he'll probably find a way to use it. For example, a container of cash can be used to distract his enemies, so he can follow up by pinning them in place with a tire, or stabbing them with a street sign.
Person 2: He can toss and drop oil drums on people, and somehow even figured out that you can kill someone by flushing them down a toilet. He's taken the weapons of his enemies and turned them into the causes of their death, like how he used someone's shears to chop them to bits, or how he smashed someone's skull in with their own giant mace, or how he took someone's revolvers and shot them so many times that they were turned into a skeleton. But of course, not everywhere has something Jack to put to use. Luckily, he has some weapons in case of that.
Person 3: A chainsaw by itself is already pretty badass, but Jack takes it to a whole new level by having it mounted on his arm. It can cut through people, trucks, and even shipping containers without difficulty. And it's not like he's sloppy with it when finishing off his enemies. This dude can cut holes small enough that his enemies won't die, and give him an opening rip out their organs. Too bad it has a limited supply of fuel, but luckily that fuel recharges over time. And if he's not using his chainsaw, the cybernetic arm it's mounted on can be used for some strong punches, ones that could easily mutilate people.
Person 2: Jack's got other weapons besides his chainsaw and resourcefulness, thanks to DeathWatch supplying its competitors with gear for more mayhem. These Deathwatchers certainly like baseball bats, and there's a good reason why they're stashing weapons like this around the battlefield, as a single blow can mean the difference between living and finding yourself mutilated with your corpse stuck in a giant dartboard. They also tend to have spikes on them for extra damage.
Person 1: The other most common of these weapons are the Daggers, for dual-wielding action. They can tear off your head or split you in half. There's also a handful of other weapons, like the Spear. With it, he can lift up his enemies, and then toss them around. Or he can just slice them apart.
Person 2: With the Golf Club, he can whack someone's head clean off their shoulders, but if you thought that was unconventional, wait until you hear about the Torch. Jack can somehow create waves of fire by swinging them. I'm not sure where Deathwatch is getting these, but I could use one as a substitute flyswatter.
Person 3: He also has the giant-ass Katana for slicing and dicing. When fighting at a distance, he has a homing rocket launcher he found in a factory. Alternatively, he can use the Magnet Gun, a cannon that can pull things towards him, and then shoot them off as projectiles. However, his greatest weapon of all is the Double Chainsaw, a pair of chainsaws tied together to cut down anything in his path.
Person 1: If he's ever badly injured, he can eat a Happy Onion, fully healing him and refueling his chainsaw. Of course, there's still a chance he can die, like any person, but he somehow figured out a counter to that, the Jack Balloons. If he dies, he just comes back to life as long as he's got one of them. It should be noted that while it does sound like a game mechanic, it has been noted to serve as an extra life, so it isn't.
Person 2: Jack, if you can't tell from his build, is certainly a strong person. Makes you wonder why he might need all those weapons. He can throw you, snap your neck, rip you in half, knock you onto the ground with a backhand, and crush your head. He can even hold back not one, but two shipping containers at the same time.
Person 1: He threw a man into another man so hard that it caused an explosion, destroyed a robot by punching it, stopped a double-sided buzzsaw by blocking its blade between his elbow and knee, and punched a man hard enough to send him flying out of the arena they were fighting in and into the audience. He's also surprisingly fast, being able to outrun homing missiles and cut down revolver bullets.
Person 3: Jack is also surprisingly durable, having been able to travel through Area 66, a place with an average temperature of 87 degrees. He's blown up by multiple things, but still survives all of them. He fought a guy who could destroy a city, and beat a mech that's said to be the world's deadliest weapon, which should make it superior to nuclear weapons. He's also survived beatings from the exact same kinds of Spiked Bats that he uses.
Person 1: Despite being a Deathwatch champion, Jack isn't perfect. His chainsaw will run out of fuel if he uses it for too long, although he can regain this fuel by just not using it for some time. In addition, while he can resurrect himself with Jack Balloons, he loses one each time he does so, and if he runs out, he can be put down for good.
Person 3: Plus, he's unable to carry all of his weapons at the same time. And worse, his chainsaw is his only weapon that doesn't break from extensive usage. However, there's still a good reason for why Jack managed to survive a DeathWatch game, let alone three.
Person 2: And this was no different, Jack slaughtered his way through the competition, casually going from rank 256 to rank 49. Then, the Deathwatchers decided to put a bounty on his head, rewarding more money to whoever killed him, not that it changed anything.
Person 1: Jack just kept climbing the leaderboard. Pretty soon, he was placed up against the champion, the Black Baron... who was pretty quickly dethroned by him. With that, Jack had become the champion for the fourth time. And with it, he managed to bring down not just the Deathwatchers, but the very man who created the virus they used. With that, the Deathwatch game on Jefferson Island had ended, and his work was done. If you try to start another Deathwatch game, expect to see a man with a chainsaw on his arm showing up and attempting to win it, because Jack is in a mad world, and he fits right in.
Jack: I don't help people. I kill them.
Death Battle[]
Person 3: All right.
Person 2: The combatants are set.
Person 1: Let's end this debate once and for all.
The Californian city of Santa Destroy had become black and white, now being used for DeathWatch. Gretings, gore sports fans! I’m Howard ‘Buckshot’ Holmes and with me is Kreese Kreely. It’s a beautiful day today, just perfect for our contestants to compete in the Santa Destroy DeathWatch games.” “I've survived more than my share of these crazy contests, and I can tell you that our audience is gonna see more gushing blood and severed heads than a troop of girl scouts camping in an unexploded mine field.”
A muscular man drove a motorcycle through the streets. He pulled up his goggles. His right arm seemed to have some sort of glove on it. He wore a vest with a symbol of a skull on the back of it. He was Jack Cayman. He kept driving, until he saw four people in front of him. He stopped, getting off his motorcycle. There was no doubt he was here for the Deathwatchers, but most people wouldn’t know that.
One of them immediately charged at him, swinging a baseball bat. However, Jack casually punched his face, sending him flying. The man flew into an open dumpster with a target symbol on its open lid. It had ‘HUMAN GARBAGE’ written on it, and when the man hit it, it closed, splitting his body in half. The other three men backed away. One held a pipe and pointed it at Jack, while a second one had a knife.
In a motel, the sound of a toilet flushing was heard, followed by the sound of something zipping up. Soon after, a man stepped out of a motel with ‘NO MORE HEROES MOTEL’ written on it. He wore a red jacket and blue jeans. He had aviator glasses and black hair. He was wearing gloves, but the one on his left hand was different from the others; it looked like it had a video game controller on it. He had several small cylinders on his waist, which were actually his beam katanas. before suddenly turning to a nonexistent camera.
”I know a lot of viewers don’t have much patience, so I’ll make this as short as possible. Some dudes took over Santa Destroy and started up something called ‘DeathWatch’. Probably terrorists or something, and now everything but me is black and white. But don’t you worry. A hero will rise to number one and bring an end to this. What, there are no heroes, you say? Oh, but there totally are. My name is Travis Touchdown, and I’m the last hero on Earth. Trust me, I know what I’m doing. It’s like the UAA, with all those screwed up ranking fights. They say all you’ve gotta do is kill someone. Well, that’ll be easy.”
In the parking lot, there were two motorcycles. One was white, and the other was red. Travis walked down the stairs. “And don’t ask why the Schpeltiger and Dem Zam Tiger are both here,” he said, turning to a nonexistent camera once again, “Probably something like the writer letting me use both of them.” He got onto the red motorcycle, the Dem Zam Tiger, before driving off.
Meanwhile, Jack stood in front of the three other people. The unarmed one charged at him and threw a punch, but Jack caught it. Jack grabbed him and slammed him into a wall, before drop-kicking him, and causing his upper body to explode in a shower of blood. He turned to the other two people, only to hear an engine of some sort behind him. The two people turned around, seeing the Dem Zam Tiger speeding towards them.
Travis jumped off the Dem Zam Tiger, leaping into the air and pulling out one of his beam katanas. Its frame extended, and a blue blade appeared, connecting it. He spun around while airborne and dropped down on top of the two people. He landed in front of them, and before they could react, they’re heads flew off, with blood gushing from them.
SHING
“Fuckhead!” he yelled as the two decapitated corpses slumped to the ground of the road, blood spraying from them and their missing heads. Jack barely moved in reaction. “Another contestant?” he asked. “Exactly,” Travis said, “Well, more like a wannabe contestant. Men like us are born to fight, so there’s no reason I wouldn’t pass this up.”
“Jack, I don’t think this guy’s leaving without a fight,” a voice said from Jack’s communicator. It was Amala. She had been helping him once again. “Yeah, I can tell,” he said dryly, as Travis raised his Blood Berry, clearly showing he was ready for battle. Jack grabbed the cigarette he was smoking.
“Up for a fight, huh?” he said, “Better make this quick.” He immediately flicked it at Travis. “What the-” the assassin said, cutting himself off so that he could lean back as the cigarette flew past his head, “You can’t do that yet! You have to wait until someone says ‘Fight!’ After that, you can-” As he raised his head back up, he saw Jack’s fist flying into his face.
CRACK
A punch slammed into Travis’ skull, sending him flying. He fell on his back, but got up. “Looks like this Travis guy won’t go down as easily as a normal person.” “Of course he wouldn't. People with cool surnames like 'Touchdown' and 'Cayman' are never pushovers. Better put the kids to bed early, because from the looks of these two, this won’t be a pretty fight.” “Just like the great gladiators of ancient Rome, these two men will clash in hand-to-hand combat for nothing more than the enjoyment of the rich and powerful!” “You sure that’s hand-to-hand combat? One of them’s using a fucking lightsaber!”
Jack raised his fists. “I’ve got four of these games under my belt,” he said, “Why not make it five?” Travis rubbed his back as he used the Blood Berry to support himself and stand up. “Probably because you were gonna have to deal with me sooner or later,” he said, “And I’ll make sure you leave this contest… in a body bag.” He then pointed his beam katana at Jack.
FIGHT!
“Okay, now you can attack,” Travis said, “It’s game time!” The two charged towards each other. Travis swung his Blood Berry, but Jack dodged it. Another swing was about to his side, Jack, who noticed it just in time and raised his right hand. The Blood Berry simply hit Jack’s hand, stopping. Suddenly, a chainsaw appeared from Jack’s hand. The bounty hunter pulled at a wire as his weapon roared to life.
VRMMMMM
“Oh fu-” Travis attempted to say, before leaping back as Jack swung it down. If he didn’t, he knew it probably would’ve cut off his arm. Travis and Jack kept swinging their respective blades, which clashed with each other. Travis then threw a punch at Jack’s head. Jack managed to block it with the flat side of his chainsaw, before he quickly stopped a swing from Travis’ Blood Berry.
Jack’s chainsaw stopped working and retracted back into his wrist. Travis, meanwhile, was about to swing his signature beam katana, but he noticed its blue energy blade was missing. Jack threw a punch at Travis, who attempted to block it with the Blood Berry. Without its battery, it didn’t work. It was knocked out of Travis’ hands. Travis quickly dodged another punch. He kicked Jack’s stomach, before punching his head. Jack’s right hand suddenly created a loud sound, as if there was a motor, but no chainsaw came out. Instead, he threw an uppercut. The Crownless King luckily dodged it, hitting Jack with a jab. It wasn’t much, but a kick to the head caused Jack to stumble back, with stars appearing above his head. He held his face, trying to recover. Travis wasn’t the best in a fistfight, but he knew this could do some considerable damage. He grabbed the reigning Deathwatch champion’s stomach from behind. Two red arrows pointing upwards appeared.
WHAM
Travis had pulled Jack into a suplex. Obeying the arrows’ commands, he slammed the champion against the floor. A slot machine appeared and began spinning. As Travis ran to grab the Blood Berry, he hoped to get lucky with the slot machine. Unfortunately, all he got was a watermelon, a star, and a BAR icon. Jack felt a pain in his head as he hit the street. He was quick to get up and rush at his foe. Before the No More Hero could recharge his weapon, he saw Jack rush at him. Suddenly, images of the two appeared.
VROROOOWW
“It’s power struggle time!” Travis raised the Blood Berry, attempting to block a punch. But without its battery, it was practically useless, so Jack had no trouble overpowering it. He threw a right hook at Travis’ face, then a jab to his abdomen. An image of a shaking Wii Remote, complete with a Nunchuck, appeared. Jack grabbed Travis with one hand and began punching him in the face several times with the other. “Ow! Ow! Ow!” Travis said as he was hit in the face over and over. “Are power struggles usually this one-sided?” “Well, no, but I’m not the one who thought it was a good idea to use a lightsaber that didn’t even work.” "He'll probably recharge it by jerking off or something like that. "That sounds like something you'd try to do."
The Wii Remote appeared again, but it was moving to the right. Jack drew back his fist, ready to hit Travis one more time. Jack threw the punch, sending Travis flying through the air. Travis realized he was flying into a truck. Upon making impact, the truck exploded, sending bits and pieces flying everywhere. Travis got up, using the Blood Berry to support himself. He figured now would be the time to recharge his beam katana.
A tire rolled towards Jack, who picked it up. He had an idea. He just needed to reach Travis. Jack was about to charge at Travis, only to see what he was doing. The Crownless King held his Blood Berry in front of him in a very strange, almost even suggestive, way as he shook it while panting, its blade reappearing. "Hey look, I was right!". Travis looked up at Jack while recharging. “What?” he asked.
“I’ve seen a lot of things,” Jack replied, “But that’s just… Why?”
He shook his head before running at Travis. Travis kept panting and shaking his weapon, trying to recharge as much of the katana’s battery as possible before Jack reached him. He eventually managed to recharge the entire battery. However, Jack had practically closed the gap between them. Touchdown gripped his Blood Berry as Cayman leaped into the air, ready to use the tire as a weapon.
THWOOP
Travis was hit by the tire, but it didn’t hurt him. He instead looked down and realized his arms were bound by the tire. He couldn’t even raise the Blood Berry to cut himself free. “Uhhh… help?” he asked sheepishly. “I don’t help people,” the ex-marine said as his chainsaw roared to life, “I kill them.” Travis realized he needed to think fast. “In that case…” he said as he suddenly teleported out of the tire.
“Screw-crusher Death Kick!” he said as he reappeared in front of Jack, no longer bound by the tire as he dropkicked the champion’s face. Jack was launched through the air, hitting the ground and grunting in pain. Travis gripped the Blood Berry while Jack got up, his chainsaw ready. The two charged at each other.
VROROOOWW…
The blades hit each other. The icon of a Wii Remote and Nunchuck shaking appeared between them, along with another Wii Remote in the center circling around. The beam katana and chainsaw hit each other, trying to overpower each other. They kept pushing against each other. However, Travis was able to overpower Jack, causing him to stumble. Travis drew back the Blood Berry, a red arrow pointing to the right.
He swung the beam katana, drawing blood as he sliced Jack’s midsection. Jack cursed under his breath. He looked around and saw something that caught his attention nearby. It was a giant dartboard. Near that dartboard was a baseball bat that had several sharp spikes attached to it. He needed to find a way to make it to the Spiked Bat, then he could probably use it to take care of this assassin.
He picked up a small rock off the ground and threw it at Travis before dashing off, as if he was retreating. Travis sliced to rock apart, before noticing Jack running away. Before chasing him, he raised his Death Glove. A projection of a woman appeared from it. “Juvenile, who is this guy?” Travis asked. “Hold on a second,” Dr. Juvenile replied.
“Jack Cayman, the current reigning Deathwatch champion,” she said, “A former marine and police officer. There’s a record of his death, yet he’s standing right in front of you. No other information seems to be available about this guy.” Juvenile disappeared from the Death Glove. “Well,” Travis said, “You’d think there’d be more about him.”
“Jack, I’ve got an I.D. on your opponent,” Amala said, contacting Jack, “Travis Touchdown, the number one assassin. Many believe he’s just a legend, and not a real person.” Jack had slightly slowed down upon hearing this so that he could listen. “And?” he asked. “He became famous because he reached that number one spot in this city’s organization of assassins, the United Assassins Association,” Amala continued. “So it’s like Deathwatch all over again,” Jack stated. “Sort of, but the point is, he’s no ordinary fighter,” Amala informed him, “Be careful.” “Amala, I’ve got a chainsaw strapped to my arm,” Jack said reassuringly, “I’ll be fine. It’s not like I’ve taken on people like him before.”
The No More Hero raised his beam katana, charging at Jack, who ran over to the dartboard and picked up the Spiked Bat, swinging it. The two weapons clashed, bouncing off each other. Travis and Jack circled around each other, before they swung again. Once again, their weapons bounced off each other.
However, the battery of Travis’ beam katana ran out again, leaving him open as Jack’s Spiked Bat struck him across the chest, drawing blood. Jack then took up a batting stance. “Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Travis said, but Cayman swung the bat, sending Touchdown flying through the air. The assassin was launched up into the air, blood flying from his face, before he suddenly slammed into a giant dartboard.
SPLAAAAAAAT
(Music stops)
An explosion of blood covered the dartboard as Travis’ lower half was sticking out of its very center. His entire upper half was launched into the dartboard. His legs swung about for a few seconds before they stopped and dropped down, hanging from the dart board. “Would that be a bullseye or a home run?” “I don’t fuckin’ know. Maybe people shouldn’t use baseball bats for this.” “But that ruins the whole point.” “Fair enough.” Jack looked at Travis’ corpse, before he turned around and walked away.
”Ow.”
The Deathwatch champion stopped, turning around as he heard a muffled voice. He turned around. The source of the voice seemed to be from the dartboard. That was when he realized what was going on. “You’ve got to be kidding me…” he said. “Hold on, it seems like Travis is still alive.” Like I said, people with cool surnames are never pushovers.
“Don’t worry viewers, I’ll get out of this, Hang on,” Travis said. He began swinging his legs wildly as a pair of two arrows appeared in the top right corner. The speed had been increased to 100 times faster. After about 5 seconds, everything returned to normal speed. Travis popped out of the dartboard and landed on his face. He got up. He checked his left hand, and was lucky he saw no blood on it. He was relieved, before he created a circle of green energy around him.
(We Are Finally Cowboys [Golden Brown Mix])
The green energy began healing him. The pain in his body was going away as the circle became smaller. By the time the circle disappeared, he was completely healed. “Okay, ready for round two?” he asked. “Guess it’ll take more than that to put you down,” Jack said. The two rushed at each other. Jack swung the Spiked Bat, but Travis dived under it, grabbing his Blood Berry off the ground. He attempted to recharge it, but he only managed to shake it once before Jack went in for another hit. Travis blocked it, causing his beam katana’s blade to inevitably disappear.
The bat, however, broke; its top half was cut off. Jack discarded the now useless weapon and instead threw a punch at Travis, followed by another one. He battered the passing assassin with a barrage of punches, delivering one strong hit that sent him flying into a wall, which smashed apart.
Travis rolled across the ground from the impact, passing by a box with two the Daggers in them. Jack, however, noticed them and ran over, picking them up. “Jack’s got his Daggers out for some stabbing.” “Daggers? You sure those aren’t just big knives?” “They’re Daggers. There’s a difference.” “Daggers don’t look like that.”
“Dual-wielding?” the passing assassin asked with a smile, “I suppose I should do the same.” He put away his Blood Berry and pulled out two more beam katanas. As they ignited, a red katana-like blade came out of each one. He stylishly spun them around. The two killers ran at each other. Swinging the Rose Nasty, Travis attempted to cut off Jack’s arms. However, Jack quickly blocked them, before he attempted to slash the assassin. Travis jumped back to avoid it. The blades all clashed with each other, creating sparks.
Travis attempted to impale Jack with a beam katana. However, the DeathWatch champion avoided it. He swung his Daggers at Travis’ neck, but the assassin leaned back. The two swung their respective blades, countering each other. Jack swung down, but Travis swung up. Jack swung left, but Travis swung right. Jack went in for a stab, but Travis dodged it and went in for his own, only to also miss. However, Travis got an idea.
”Strawberry on the Shortcake!”
His hair turned yellow as the Rose Nasty began creating red electricity around its blades. He swung the beam katanas at speeds higher than before, with Jack barely being able to react to them. Jack had barely enough time to react and raise his Daggers, which scraped across the energy blades. However, one of Travis’ energy blades entered his shoulder. He reeled back in pain, before Travis began slicing at him. He delivered a flurry of slashes, hitting Jack in numerous places.
Jack was soon covered in wounds across his entire body. He had blood pouring out of just about everywhere. Travis finished by stabbing the Rose Nasty into Jack’s stomach. He drew back his beam katanas, charging them with energy. “It’s over!” he yelled as he swung them at Jack.
(Music stops)
SHIIING
Travis’s Rose Nasty sliced straight through Jack, who soon felt his top and bottom halves separating from the swing. They both slumped to the floor, blood leaking out of them. “Well ladies and gentlemen, Jack has been dethroned.” Travis put away the Rose Nasty and walked away to continue climbing the ranks.
”Not so fast.”
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf26gphwadk%7C Ghost Rider's Theme])
Travis turned around upon hearing the voice, only to be decked across the face by a muscular fist. He rolled across the ground once again, before getting up and using his hand to brush some dust off his shoulder. In front of him was a man who looked exactly like Jack, only there was a pile of Jack's blood behind him.
“Oh, right. Forgot about those extra lives he had.” “Yeah, it’s strange how nobody ever tries to pick them up before he does.” That caught Travis’ attention. “Hold on, extra lives?!” he asked, completely surprised, “What the fuck?! I only get one life! How is this fair?! Shouldn’t I have, I dunno, three lives or something? Man, I wish I was in a video game instead of this.”
Jack, in the middle of Travis' complaining, backflipped over to his Daggers and picked them up. He threw one at Travis, who raised his Rose Nasty to block it. The Dagger bounced of the No More Hero's beam katanas and flew into the air. In response, Jack leaped up with his other Dagger and attempted to skewer his foe. However, Travis kept his beam katanas held up, blocking the Dagger. The reigning DeathWatch champion grabbed the Dagger that fell from the sky and, using both weapons, swung at Travis, who didn't react fast enough. Travis grunted in pain as the Daggers cut into his arm and leg, drawing blood.
The two clashed with their weapons again, but Travis was quick to pull away and jump at Jack with a spinning slash. Jack blocked it, before delivering an upward slash with one of his Daggers. Travis brought down his beam katanas, blocking the Dagger. He then quickly swiped one of the beam katanas below himself and also swung it upwards, slicing the Dagger in half.
But Jack immediately thrusted the other Dagger at his neck. Travis was quick to back away, so Jack threw his weapon. Even though Travis knocked it away with a quick slice from one of his beam katanas, it left him open to Jack reaching forwards and grabbing him by his shirt.
CRACK
Jack headbutted Travis, forcing some blood out of the latter's mouth. The Chaser then leaped several feet into the air, before tossing Travis straight into the ground. Still airborne, Jack plunged his fist down, dropping on top of Travis and punching him straight in the stomach.
As Travis groaned in pain, Jack picked him up and began spinning around. As he spun, he became faster, and after a few seconds, he tossed Travis. The Crownless King was thrown across the street, bouncing off it a few times before crashing into the ground. Despite this, he looked up and saw Jack running at him. He quickly rolled out of the way as Jack leaped into the air and attempted to bring his chainsaw down on him.
Even though Jack's attack missed, the bounty hunter didn't think much of it. A quick observation of his surroundings told him that he was back where the fight had started, and he simply ran off. Travis quickly stood up and raised the Rose Nasty, but his eyes soon widened.
Jack was now on his motorcycle, speeding right at Travis, who quickly jumped over him. While doing so, Travis managed to land a hit on the reigning DeathWatch champion's back. One of his beam katana's had sliced into it. Jack winced in pain as a little bit of blood flew out, but he kept driving. He wasn't turning around to drive in Travis' direction, though. Instead, he was driving away. He needed a place where he’d be more likely to find objects to use. He knew somewhere, and needed to make it there. Travis didn’t waste any time watching him drive off. He hopped on his nearby Dem Zam Tiger and gave chase.
Travis immediately boosted forwards, quickly catching up to Jack. The two were now driving across a bridge. Jack turned around as he saw Travis behind him. “You won’t give up, huh?” Jack asked. “Nope,” Travis simply replied. Jack noticed Travis was catching up to him. He drove to Travis’ left, bringing out his chainsaw as he swung it. Travis had to swerve away in order to avoid the chainsaw, before attempting to ram into him from the side. While doing so, a blue energy blade came out of the side of the Dem Zam Tiger, which Jack noticed. Jack had to move quickly before the blade struck him. He swerved away from Travis, who kept moving left in an attempt to hit Jack with the blade.
VRMMMM
Jack’s chainsaw emerged from his wrist as he swung it at the assassin’s neck. Travis knew he had to move, and pulled right, luckily saving himself from being beheaded. He tried to close in again, but Jack kept him away with another chainsaw swing. Jack’s chainsaw returned into his arm, which prompted Travis to try and impale Jack’s motorcycle once again, only for the champion to bring out his chainsaw again for a third swing. However, Jack then proceeded to keep flailing his chainsaw at Travis, attempting to cut off his head. Jack kept driving left, closing in on Travis, but keeping himself out of the reach of the Dem Zam Tiger’s blade.
Before Jack had time to react, the Dem Zam Tiger boosted forwards, surprising him. Travis kept driving as he looked behind him and pulled out the Blood Berry. He smiled as his beam katana activated. Jack was confused at why Travis didn’t turn around and try to attack him, but still got his chainsaw ready. He soon learned why Travis kept driving away from him. Santa Destroy’s color suddenly drained even more, becoming completely gray.
"Blueberry Cheese Brownie!"
(Blueberry Cheesecake Brownie)
With a single swipe of his signature beam katana, Travis suddenly shot a blast of energy at the reigning DeathWatch champion. Jack’s eyes widened, and he steered to the right to avoid it. He retracted his chainsaw so that he could drive better, seeing Travis flailing his Blood Berry and creating more energy blasts.
Jack had to move to his left as several energy blasts flew behind him. He made a sharp turn to the right, dodging another one. He even spun around as one of them was about to hit him, barely dodging it. Travis fired an energy blast at one of the wheels of Jack’s motorcycle. In response, Cayman spun around, slightly moving to the left and allowing the energy blast to barely miss him. Soon, some of the color returned to Santa Destroy. Travis’ Dark Side Mode had expired.
“Okay then, come on,” the Crownless King said, as he spun around, “I’m gonna fuck you up!” Jack drove towards Travis, picking up speed. As the two got closer, they both did wheelies. Their respective bikes slammed into each other, and it gave Jack memories of the time he battled against someone who looked like him. Upon being prompted by a Wii Remote moving up, Jack jumped into the air, but a red arrow also moving up told Touchdown to do the same. Their motorcycles simply stopped and fell over, but they didn’t care.
Jack raised his wrist-mounted chainsaw, ready to plunge it into Travis, but before he could, Touchdown shot a wire out of his Death Glove. The wire grabbed Jack by his chest, and yanked him into Travis, who, while leaping up, thrusted the Blood Berry straight into the Chaser’s stomach. Travis pulled his beam katana out of Jack, before using his Death Glove-covered hand to toss him down onto the bridge below.
The No More Hero used his feet to hold the Blood Berry as he plummeted down on top of Jack, who saw him descending. Jack held his wound as he picked himself up and barely jumped out of the way. Travis slammed into the bridge with enough force that part of its surface broke off. However, he quickly realized that his target had successfully escaped from his attack.
“Looks like Travis can’t do what his twin brother could.” “But that doesn’t make sense! They’re twins! They're basically the same, and should be capable of the same things!” “Do you have a twin brother?” “Well, no-” “Then shut the fuck up before someone’s twin brother shows up and explains why you’re wrong.” Travis looked and saw Jack simply running away. They had pretty much cleared the distance of the bridge during the chase, and Jack stepped off it to find a large building. The building was strange, as half of it looked like a castle, and the other half looked like a factory. Travis tried to follow Jack, who got a head start and entered the building.
Travis sprinted into the building and took out a beam katana. Its long, orange cylindrical blade appeared. He looked around, entering the left half of it. The assassin first saw numerous suits of armor in a room lit up with torches. These suits were holding spears. He continued moving forward and saw a dining room. The table had meat on it. However, it didn’t look like somebody cooked it. There were a few windows that let him look outside, onto the streets, where he saw his Dem Zam Tiger lying completely still. He kept looking around, and found a hallway. He walked through the hallway, seeing it stop and lead to the right.
THWACK
Travis was immediately hit in the face by a Golf Club suddenly emerging from the end of the hallway. His glasses fell off, so he grabbed them off the ground and put them back on. As he looked up, he saw Jack, holding a Golf Club and swinging it again. The assassin learned back and barely dodged it. “There you are!” Travis said, drawing back his new beam katana and charging it with red energy.
“I was wondering when you’d find me,” Jack said. With all the strength he could muster, Travis swung the Peony. Jack raised his Golf Club in a golfing stance, before swinging it to block the beam katana. The two weapons collided, but the sheer strength of the charged Peony sliced the Golf Club in half. Travis swung it two more times, but it was slow enough that Jack easily dodged a strike that would have bisected him, before rolling under a slash that cut into the wall.
The Peony ended up breaking off a few stones, and Jack grabbed one of them, before throwing it at Travis to distract him. The stone that Jack threw knocked the Peony out of Travis’ hands, leaving him open for Jack to charge at him and deliver a punch to the face. The punch disoriented Travis and allowed Jack to run off through the hallway. He knew something he could use as a distraction. Travis, meanwhile, stumbled into a wall, before regaining his senses. He grabbed his Peony off the floor and chased Jack with it.
He soon found himself back in the dining room. Jack was standing on the table, and threw something at Travis, who raised the Peony. However, the object had harmlessly broken apart when it hit Travis’ blade, covering him in what looked like red crumbs. “What the hell is-” the assassin asked, before he realized he had been covered in raw meat, “Oh, come on! I’m gonna need to wash my hands after I’m done with you!” Before he could go and attack Jack, he heard something odd. It sounded like a zombie, which didn’t make sense. However, a window was shattered, followed by a strange-looking human reaching out to Travis and blindly running at him. Several more of them began to arrive through windows and the building’s entrance.
The No More Hero realized that they were, indeed, zombies. He sliced off one of their heads with his Peony, before quickly cutting another one in half. However, a zombie grabbed his leg, before another one grabbed his arm, causing him to drop the Peony. Travis was soon pulled to the ground by the swarm of zombies, with Jack smiling that his plan worked.
“Cranberry Chocolate Sundae!”
The zombies suddenly lost their grip on Travis, as Santa Destroy turned gray again. Jack was quick to notice this, and tried to wait it out by retreating. He left the zombies with Travis, who took out the Rose Nasty. The passing assassin quickly stabbed two of the zombies, before tossing them out a window with his beam katanas. He went on to slice off both arms of a zombie, before impaling it with both beam katanas. He then thrusted one of his beam katanas into a zombie’s heart.
“That’s what I like to call a heart attack.” “That’s what I like to call being too lazy to come up with new jokes.” Travis flipped forward, using his other beam katana to slice another zombie in half. He then put away the Rose Nasty and grabbed the Peony off the floor, before stabbing the last zombie with it. He raised the Peony into the air, with the zombie still attached to it.
“Full power…” he said, “Go!” The Peony’s blade suddenly grew extremely large, and obliterated the zombie’s top half. As the Peony’s blade returned to normal, the zombie’s bloodied corpse slumped over. Travis headed back the way he came into the building, finding Jack in the next room, which had numerous suits of armor.
“Do you ever stop runn-” Travis attempted to ask, only for Jack’s arm to grab him by the leg, slamming him into the ground and smashing it. Jack then picked up Travis by his leg and tossed him into a wall, leaving a human-shaped print on it. Travis’ body peeled itself off the wall, causing him to fall. He looked down and realized he was about to land on a suit of armor holding a spear. “Oh fuck!” he said, before attempting to save himself by stretching out his leg. His foot made contact with the armor’s helmet, knocking the suit over and causing him to fall on his legs.
“Damn it…” he muttered, as he picked himself up, but Jack grabbed the helmet off the ground and slammed it on Travis’ head. “Huh? Hey, it’s dark in here!” Travis complained, “I can’t see!” “Well, it takes genius to come up with a use for a helmet like that.” “Or a killing machine.” The DeathWatch champion grabbed a spear off the ground. It wasn't exactly like the Spears he ususally used, but it didn't matter to him. He held the spear and snuck up behind Travis. “You talk too much,” he said, before thrusting it forwards.
Travis couldn’t see, as the helmet had no place for him to look through, and was obviously just supposed to be there for decoration, but something felt off. He felt like he needed to move, and that’s what he did. He hopped to the right, spinning in the direction he felt an attack coming from.
A spear had failed to impale him. “What?!” Jack said, surprised that Travis had dodged his attack, despite being blinded by the helmet. “When I fight, my mind goes blank,” Travis explained, as he used his other hand to reach for the helmet and pull it off. He swung the Peony, which the ex-marine barely dodged. He swung again, only for Jack to block it with his spear. “It’s like a form of etiquette between us.”
Travis swung the Peony again, only for it to lock blades with Jack’s spear. Jack was quick to pull his spear away, and backflipped as Travis went for an overhead slash. Dodging the attack, Jack rushed forwards with his spear. Travis quickly sidestepped it and swung his beam katana, which Jack dodged. The Chaser then delivered an upwards slash, only to miss as Travis stopped back. However, Jack quickly followed up by tossing the spear like it was a javelin.
SQUELCH
The spear flew straight into Travis’ stomach, impaling him as his eyes widened. “Shit…” he muttered, dropping the Peony as it deactivated. He used his right arm to reach for the spear, and with a grunt of pain, pulled it out, letting it clatter against the ground as blood leaked out of his chest. “Good thing it takes more than that,” he said, before stomping down on the spear, snapping it in half. He then picked up his Peony.
Using his Death Glove, he created a burst of energy around himself, mysteriously disappearing from Jack’s sight. The reigning DeathWatch champion looked surprised, and his chainsaw revealed itself. He held its wire, ready to pull it at any moment’s notice. Suddenly, a strange red beam covered his body. He looked up, seeing the beam seemingly travel outside the building. Initially, he was confused, before he realized what the beam was. He immediately backflipped away.
BOOM
A massive laser flew down from the sky, blowing a hole in the ceiling and smashing into the floor, sending bits and pieces of it flying. The reigning DeathWatch champion’s backflip wasn’t enough to fully escape the blast, as it launched him into the air. He was blasted straight into something he couldn’t see as he fell on the ground. It seemed to be an invisible object. He could feel it under his arm.
“Ow! Ugh,” a voice beneath him said, as Travis appeared. Cayman immediately rolled off and stood up, pulling back the wire of his chainsaw. Touchdown saw his foe then attempting to cut him down, so he rolled out of the way as he shouted out “This is the end!” Everything slowed down, except for Travis. “Is it just me, or does everything feel slower?” Jack, meanwhile, upon seeing Travis dodge at speeds faster than usual, stepped back, waiting for an attack. “I think Travis just got faster. Can we get him to slow down?” “I don’t think so.” “Spin Death throw!” Travis then said, slamming his palm into the ground and creating a circle with him and Jack in it, increasing how much time had slowed down. He grabbed his Peony off the ground. Travis crossed his arms as he gathered energy, before using his greatest Dark Side Mode technique.
”Anarchy in the Galaxy!”
A series of massive explosions engulfed the room, blasting the Chaser through the air.
Jack was sent flying through several rooms, only stopping when he hit a box that spilled its contents, revealing an onion and a pair of Daggers. Jack noticed the onion and quickly grabbed it as he took a bite, feeling the pain from the explosions weaken. He took another bite and felt much better. He then bit into it again, feeling all his injuries fading away. He then finally swallowed what was left of the onion, fully healed. He picked up the Daggers, “Jack’s got his Daggers out again.” “Those are big knives, you fucking idiot.” The DeathWatch champion began looking around the room.
This half looked more like a factory. The first thing he saw was a button on the wall, which he pressed. Suddenly, a wall opened and revealed several sharp spikes attached to it. “Who designs a factory with a Rose Bush?” "Maybe it's a weapons testing factory." "That... actually makes sense." There was some sort of platform on wheels in the middle, much like a trailer, but nothing was on it. In the background, he saw a couple of conveyor belts with some weapons, but they were too high for him to reach.
He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard footsteps, quickly turning to the entrance and seeing Travis walking through it. Immediately, he leaped at the assassin, whose instincts kicked in and told him to move. Travis barely dodged as Jack lunged at him with a swipe from a Dagger. “You wanna do this again, huh?” Travis said, deactivating his Peony, and bringing out the Rose Nasty. He pulled them back, causing energy to glow from them.
Travis took a step forward and swung his charged Rose Nasty, but Jack managed to avoid the sharp energy blades by jumping back, before using his Daggers to spin around as he moved closer to Travis as if he was a human buzzsaw. In response, the Crownless King used a Death Glove chip to do the same, holding his Rose Nasty. “This is making me really fuckin’ dizzy.” “This shit definitely doesn’t happen in normal sports.” The two slammed into each other, sparks flying. A Wii Remote and a Nunchuck appeared, making a motion indicating that they needed to be shaken. Another Wii Remote appeared in the middle, with a circle around it.
The two kept spinning into each other as their blades clashed, with neither of them getting an opening. It was dizzying to anyone watching, but they kept at it. Travis’ chip expired, so he pulled away to avoid being shredded. He swung the Rose Nasty, cutting off Jack’s momentum and blocking one of his Daggers, causing him to stop. The two of them locked blades, but a Wii Remote moving right appeared, coupled with a Nunchuck moving left; this prompted Jack to push outwards with his Daggers, causing Travis to nearly lose grip of his Rose Nasty as he was pushed back. The beam katanas dropped to the floor. “This didn’t go out as well as last time, huh?” Jack said.
Responding to seeing a Wii Remote moving downwards, Jack delivered a swipe across Travis’ shirt, cutting into it. He swung his other dagger upwards, delivering another slash and causing Travis to drop his beam katanas. Travis stumbled back. “Jack’s got Travis set up for a finisher!” Jack crossed his arms, still holding his Daggers. He prepared to swing them both at Travis’ neck, but the assassin raised his Death Glove.
ZAP
A blast of electricity was fired from Touchdown’s hand, electrocuting Jack. “You’d think that, but it looks like Travis is ready to make a shocking comeback!” Immediately, Travis grabbed Jack by his chest and suplexed him again, creating a dent in the floor. “Shocking indeed!” Travis said, with Jack rolling across the ground as the slot machine appeared. It had a cherry, a melon, and a BAR icon. Travis still wasn’t lucky, and his Slash Reel couldn’t be used.
Jack, meanwhile, picked himself up. “I’ll be taking these,” he said, grabbing the Rose Nasty off the floor and placing it on his waist.“Wha-” Travis quickly realized that Jack had taken his weapons, and ran at him with his hand out, “Hey! Give me my Rose Nasty ba- Ahhh!”
Jack’s chainsaw roared to life as he swung it at Travis, who jumped away again. However, the assassin failed to react to Jack’s other arm reaching out and grabbing his leg. Jack retracted his chainsaw and grabbed Travis’s other leg. “Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah!” Travis yelled as Jack began spinning around while holding him. While doing so, an image of a Wii Remote spinning around appeared.
It disappeared as the Chaser threw Travis at the nearby Rose Bush. “Jack must’ve gotten tired of Travis being a thorn in his side.” Travis thought quickly, and raised his open palm to the spiked wall, summoning his own wall in front of it. The Crownless King kicked off his wall, jumping at Jack while taking out his Blood Berry. He swung it, only for Jack to raise his right arm and block the strike. Jack quickly headbutted Travis, who stumbled from the impact, but recovered to see Jack looking up to the ceiling.
There was a large claw attached to the ceiling. It was moving across the ceiling. Jack immediately jumped up onto the trailer as the claw opened, dropping something into his hands. Travis wasn’t sure what it was, but he raised his Blood Berry, ready to swing it. Jack spun around and pointed the object at Travis. The assassin’s eyes widened as he saw Jack holding a rocket launcher.
“What the hell?!” Travis asked, only to be cut off as Jack pulled the trigger and fired a rocket. Without wasting time, Travis immediately ran to Jack’s left, holding his Blood Berry to his side. However, the rocket followed him from behind, something that didn’t go unnoticed. Jack fired a second rocket, which flew at Travis. In response, the No More Hero jumped over it, only for it to track him. With two rockets chasing him, Travis needed to think quickly, as Jack fired a third rocket. He slid under it.
BOOM
“Travis just took all those rockets like a man. A very stupid man, but still a man.” “Amen to that!”Travis stood up, only to see Jack throwing the rocket launcher at him. He casually sliced it in half. “Nice try,” he said, only to see Jack jumping off the trailer and running to a box. The Chaser grabbed a bottle from the box and began shaking it. “That’s all I need,” he replied, as Travis ran at him with the Blood Berry, taking advantage of him doing nothing but shaking the bottle.
However, as soon as Travis closed in, Jack slammed the bottle into the Crownless King’s mouth, causing its contents to spill into him. Travis muffled out some words, but they weren’t ones someone would comprehend. Jack turned away, dusting off his hands. Suddenly, the drink had basically exploded like a soda that turned Travis into a live bottle rocket, sending him flying up into the air. The Crownless King flew through the ceiling, leaving a human-shaped hole in it.
“Well, uh, bye-bye.” “That’s all you got?” “You come up with better!”
CRASH
In fact, he was sent flying through the air and ended up crash-landing in a parking lot. He got up and looked around. The first thing to catch his eye was his Schpeltiger, and merely looking up was enough for him to realize he was in front of his motel. “Hold on a second,” Travis said, heading up the stairs. He went into part of the motel and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
“That’s not fair. There were no bathroom breaks when I was part of DeathWatch.” “At least it ensures nobody’s gonna break your ‘most-times-shitting-your-pants’ record now.” “You’re right.” “Even if it was obtained with illegal bran…” “Did you say something?” Soon, Travis stepped out, heading out of the motel. He went back to the parking lot and hopped on the Schpeltiger, starting its engine. He then sped off, heading in Jack’s direction. “Uh, totally not. But anyway, Travis is going back for round two.”
Jack, meanwhile, was just leaving the building he was fighting in. He swallowed a pill he was holding to heal himself. Immediately after, though, he heard the sound of a motorized vehicle speeding towards him. He quickly turned around in time to raise his hands and stop a white motorcycle from turning him into roadkill. A quick look up was enough for him to notice Travis being the driver of this bike. The assassin tried to accelerate, but he couldn’t move. “FUU-” he was cut off by Jack lifting the Schpeltiger into the air.
Travis lost his grip on the Schpeltiger’s handlebars and fell on the floor. He got up just in time to have his bike slammed into his midsection, sending him flying. The No More Hero rolled across the ground, before getting up and seeing Jack somehow managed to toss his entire bike at him.
Travis ran forward and slid under the Schpeltiger as it barely flew over his head. Travis pulled out a new beam katana while doing so; this one had Japanese writing on it right in front of its katana-like blade, which materialized in the form of green energy. It was the Camellia Mk-III.
Jack grabbed a nearby wooden crate and chucked it in the Crownless King’s direction, but Travis simply leaped into the air and sliced it in two. From it, a Spiked Bat flew out. This caught Jack’s eye, and he made a beeline for it. He rushed forward, grabbed a chunk of the crate and threw it, which Travis cut again. However, this left him open for Jack to rush up, taking out the assassin’s own Rose Nasty.
Travis swung the Camellia as Jack raised the Rose Nasty, creating a burst of red and green energy. “Hey, this reminds me of a DeathWatch game I participated in. Some asshole tied my legs to Christmas lights and pushed me off a cliff.” “Are you sure that happened?” “No, I’m just fucking with you.” Jack swung one of his beam katanas at Travis, who blocked it, but it left him open as Jack swung the other beam katana, leaving a cut across the passing assassin’s jacket. Travis stumbled back, and saw Jack charging up the beam katanas. In response, he charged green electricity into the Camellia.
The two swung the beam katanas again, creating an even bigger energy burst. Jack went in for another strike, but the Rose Nasty’s blades disappeared. Travis took advantage of this and tossed the Tsubaki into the air. He grabbed Jack by his shoulders, causing two red arrows to appear. Travis lifted the Chaser and slammed him into the ground.
The Crownless King grabbed his beam katana as it fell from the sky. He prepared to finish off the DeathWatch champion, but Jack, still on the floor, noticed a nearby street sign. With a single hand, he uprooted it, grabbed it, and swung its metal end straight into Travis’ knee. The No More Hero stumbled upon realizing this, giving Jack the time he needed to get up. Conveniently, the Spiked Bat was right next to the DeathWatch champion, who picked it up and raised it for a home run.
Travis put away the Camellia and reached down to the sign stuck in his knee, quickly yanking it out in a gush of blood. His knee was still hurting, but he could keep fighting. He picked up the Rose Nasty off the floor before attaching it to his belt. He then took out the Camellia again just in time to block a swing from Jack’s newly-acquired bat. They both swung again, their weapons colliding. The spikes from Jack’s baseball bat were close to poking Travis.
Jack quickly remembered what happened the last time he attacked Travis with a bat, and backed away to find an opening. Travis, meanwhile, swung upwards at Cayman, who dodged. Jack avoided two more swings. “Ha!” Travis said, jumping up and doing a stylish spinning slash. Jack barely dodged the green energy blade, but he smirked as he saw the opening he was waiting for and swung straight into Touchdown’s midsection. Travis felt the spikes entering him and causing a bit of blood to leak out as he staggered back.
Jack threw the baseball bat at Travis, who raised his Death Glove in response. “Anti-gravity Death Force!” he yelled, causing the bat to be caught in a cube before being tossed straight at the reigning DeathWatch champion, who was charging at Travis. Jack noticed the bat flying in his direction and caught it, allowing him to jump up and swing at Travis’ skull. Travis didn’t want to get his head smashed to bits, and quickly raised the Camellia Mk-III over his head, blocking the Spiked Bat.
Jack dropped to the ground and swung his Spiked Bat again, going for a horizontal swing, which Travis quickly blocked. The bounty hunter stepped back, raising the Spike Bat in a blocking stance. However, Travis quickly spun around, kicking the bat and disorienting Jack, causing stars to appear above his head. Travis immediately slipped behind Jack and grabbed him, jumping into the air and slamming the Chaser into the ground.
CRACK
Jack was smashed against the hard pavement of the road, but he quickly got up, and grabbed his spike bat. He quickly avoided an incoming punch from Travis and swung the bat, but Travis swung the Tsubaki Mk-III at the same time, the weapons colliding. Both of them began pushing at each other, and the two weapons clashed as their users began running down the road.
“Hey! There’s someone over here!” a voice called out, causing Jack and Travis to stop as they saw a man with a pipe running at them. “Here come some guys to add to the bloodshed!” More people began approaching Travis and Jack. The Chaser rushed up to the first man, before grabbing him and throwing him into the air. He quickly stepped behind him and raised his spike bat. He looked up and saw the man flying back down, and quickly swatted him with the bat, sending him spinning through the air. The man flew through the air.
WHAM
He didn’t react fast enough to find a man slamming into his back, knocking him face-first onto the front of a car and causing him to drop the Camellia, which flew into the air. The man that hit Travis, meanwhile, fell on his back. He looked up and saw something plummeting towards him.
“My spleen!” he yelled out as the Camellia Mk-III fell from the sky, conveniently falling blade-first straight into him. The slot machine spun, and landed on two BAR icons, but then it got a cherry, giving Travis nothing. The passing assassin, meanwhile, managed to recover from the impact, rubbing his head as he yanked his beam katana out and put it away, grabbing the Blood Berry. He noticed a man running at him, holding a baseball bat.
The Blood Berry’s blade suddenly turned red and extended, which was followed by Travis casually slicing through not just the bat, but also the man. Travis hit the man a second time, causing more blood to gush out. Travis swung a third time, then a fourth time, performing a spinning slash. He then jumped up and hit the person with one final slash, leaving only a few chunks of the man and a puddle of blood. The Slash Reel landed on a cherry, a BAR icon, and a melon, much to Travis’ disappointment.
Travis then prepared to go after a nearby man, but he felt another object flying behind him. He immediately weaved his head, and was lucky that he did, as a Spiked Bat flew past him. The bat hit the man, lodging its spikes into him. Travis turned and saw Jack, who had thrown the spike bat. “Hey! That was my kill!” Travis yelled. “When I’m done with these people, I’ll kill you next,” Jack replied, nonchalantly punching a man next to him, busting his head into a pile of blood by hitting him into a building wall. Jack picked up the Golf Club the man was holding. He then grabbed a man and slammed him into the ground, before raising his Golf Club and whacking his head off. He noticed someone behind him and quickly spun around.
SNAP
Jack hit him so hard that his Golf Club snapped in half, reducing the man’s head to bloody chunks. Jack stabbed his useless golf club into the man’s stomach. He then grabbed another man, snapping his neck by twisting it around and throwing him into a building, which knocked down the wall. Jack was about to go off to fight more people, but something caught his eye. An object that looked like a cannon was inside the building. It wasn’t exactly a real cannon, but it was a large gun with two coils on its front.
Travis raised his hand at a man, before calling out “Anti-gravity Death Force!” The man was sent flying into a large group of people, knocking them over with a bowling sound effect. “When the fuck did this turn into a fucking bowling show?” The men then got up, ready to fight the assassin, but Travis used another chip as he raised his Death Glove, causing them to feel their vitality getting pulled out of his body, which healed the Crownless King.
Travis raised his left hand and created a ball of white energy. It began taking energy from everyone around him, Jack included. “Hey!” he called out, catching Jack’s attention. The Chaser turned to see a ball of white energy flying in his direction. He immediately put the massive gun he was carrying on his back as he jumped out of the way, the energy missing him.
Travis then swapped out his Blood Berry for his Peony, but when it was activated, its blade became noticeably longer. Travis smiled, before slicing off the heads of the people around him. The Peony’s blade became even longer. Even though the Slash Reel landed on two cherries and a BAR icon, he didn’t really care; his Ecstasy Gauge was full. Jack was his target, and even though there was now a mob of people standing between them, it didn’t matter to him.
A burst of energy surged from Travis’ body, orange electricity coming out of his beam katana as he ran straight at Jack.
The bounty hunter, meanwhile, conveniently found a pair of revolvers in the many corpses along the streets, taking aim at the assassin.
Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam Blam
Jack opened fire, but Travis quickly ran through the crowd, using them as pseudo-meat shields while he began slashing them at high speeds, easily clearing a path for himself. Unfortunately for him, his Slash Reel never gave him anything to work with. It was just a mix of icons that never matched. The men were hit with numerous gunshots and slashes as Travis ran at Jack. “I’m gonna say that those are 0.5 kills each.” “For what?” “To keep track of the body count. You just have to add up the number of people they killed and-” “Nobody said there’d be math!”
Travis easily weaved past the bullets while cutting through the crowd. Jack kept shooting, but the amount of blood gushing from Travis cutting through the mob made it hard to see. All he knew was that there were body parts flying everywhere. The best he could do was aim at whatever orange lightning he saw.
It didn’t save him, as Travis managed to burst straight out of the mob of other DeathWatch competitors, who were now reduced to a bunch of bloodied corpses. Jack desperately focused all fire on Travis, who blocked each bullet with precision by raising the Peony. While Travis knew his beam katana was slow, he could at least raise it fast enough to reliably deflect each bullet. The gunfire flew in different directions.
“It’s over!” the Crownless King said, as he closed in on Jack and swung his beam katana, slicing off the barrels of the reigning DeathWatch champion’s handguns. Jack recoiled from the attack, but before he could do anything, the beam katana was thrusted into his stomach, causing blood to gush out. Travis quickly pulled it out and spun it around and followed up as he thrusted his Peony forwards again, this time hitting Jack straight in the head, causing blood to leak out.
The DeathWatch champion slumped to the ground. “Nice try,” Travis said, “But I’ve seen my fair share of ranking fights.” He turned around and began walking off.
”It won’t matter.”
The passing assassin turned around and saw Jack getting up. “I’ll make myself the champion for the fifth time,” he said. “Oh right, extra lives,” Travis simply stated, raising the Peony. “That may have been my last one, but I won’t need it to finish you off,” Jack replied. The bounty hunter grabbed a metal barrel and rolled it in Travis’ direction. Of course, the Crownless King easily jumped over it.
But Jack expected this, and grabbed the giant gun on his back. He aimed it and fired, causing a burst of electricity to appear from the gun. Travis suddenly felt himself losing his footing, along with a new force gripping on his beam katana. He slipped, and found himself getting pulled in Jack’s direction.
The assassin slammed into the front of Jack’s Magnet Gun. He turned around and noticed the barrel also flying towards him. He tried to raise the Blood Berry in the direction of the barrel, but it wouldn’t budge. This left him open for the barrel to slam into the back of his head. Cayman leaped into the air, putting the Magnet Gun on his back. Travis felt the grip on his beam katana disappear, which allowed him to swing it again. But before he could do so, Jack grabbed the barrel and plummeted down, slamming it onto Travis’ head.
Jack headbutted the barrel, leaving a dent in it. He grabbed Travis by the leg and slammed him against the ground, before swinging Travis behind him and into the concrete road again, followed by a third time as he changed directions. Jack smashed Travis’ face into the street over and over again, leaving several dents in the barrel before he tossed the Crownless King into a gas truck.
(Music stops)
BADA-BOOM
The gas truck exploded, forcing Jack to cover his eyes with his arms. “Jack just sent Travis barrelling to defeat.” The Chaser looked at the mess he created; destroyed truck parts were scattered across the streets once again. He heard something from his communicator. “Jack, did you get him?” Amala asked. Jack took one last glance at the wreckage. “Yeah,” he muttered.
”Screw-crusher Death Kick!”
KRAACK
A burst of rainbow energy appeared in front of the reigning DeathWatch champion. Jack immediately felt two legs slamming into his chest, sending him flying. He coughed up blood from the impact of it, and was promptly sent flying before landing back-first on the concrete road. “On second thought, no,” he said, cutting his transmission with Amala as his eyes widened at what he saw.
(The Only Thing I Know For Real)
Travis was alive. His clothes were burned, and he was a little bloodied, but he was certainly alive. Jack quickly picked himself up. “What does it take to shut you up?” he asked. Travis simply chuckled. “Oh, I don’t know, but probably a lot” he said, pointing the Peony at him “You’re far from the first to try.” Jack, at this point, had enough of Travis’ antics and wanted to end him where he standed.
Jack’s chainsaw roared to life as he charged at Travis. His weapon collided with the Peony, but the tables turned almost immediately as Travis pushed the bounty hunter back. Jack’s chainsaw slid back into his arm as he backflipped away. He knew it was better to have a working chainsaw and tactically retreat than lose his chainsaw entirely. “Death metal shower!” Travis called out as he raised his left hand and fired an energy cube into the air. The cube turned into a large circle around Jack. The Chaser looked up and saw an energy blast flying from the circle and attempting to hit him, and quickly dodged, but another one proceeded to hit his shoulder, forcing him to grunt in pain. He barely had the time to backflip away from another swing of Travis’ Peony.
Even though he managed to dodge it, an energy blast hit his back. He was quick to realize he needed to find something to use as cover, and his eyes darted to a random car, which he made a beeline for, dodging energy blasts that flew towards him as Travis began chasing him. Travis raised his Death Glove and fired another energy blast, having gathered energy from Jack.
But Jack was quick enough to avoid it from hitting him. He made it to a nearby car and, much to Travis’ shock, put his hands under it, lifting the vehicle into the air just as one of the Death Rain’s energy blasts was about to hit him. The energy blast simply made a dent in the car.
“Holy shit…” Travis could only say, seeing Jack casually lifting the car and using it as an umbrella that blocked the Death Rain’s energy blasts. He knew Jack could certainly lift, but the full weight of a car was absurd for him. Travis’ Death Rain disappeared, and he now had to deal with Jack holding the car like it was a battering ram as he ran at him. “We've just found a new way to turn someone into roadkill.” “Indeed it is. It’s time to answer the question of if a laser sword can handle a car.”
VROROOOWW…
Travis immediately did the first thing he could do, knowing it had worked years ago, and raised the Peony to block Jack’s attack. The car the Jack held pushed against Travis’ long beam katana. Travis followed his instincts, and realized that merely blocking wouldn’t work. He’d have to put all of his energy into one swing if he wanted to disarm Jack. A red arrow appeared, moving down. Travis followed its commands, and quickly backflipped to gain some distance as held the Peony behind him with both hands. “Full power…” he muttered, ready to swing at any moment. Jack, meanwhile, tossed the car up into the air, before grabbing the back of it as it fell down, ready to use it as a melee weapon. An image of a Wii Remote with a circle around it appeared.
“Go!” he called out, as the Peony’s blade suddenly grew not in length, but in width. He swung it as Jack swung the car he was holding. Their weapons collided once again, but with Travis’ beam katana larger than before, he was able to keep up. Another image of a Wii Remote and a circle appeared, and Travis pressed forward, it disappeared as another Wii Remote took its place, along with a Nunchuck. Both images began shaking, while Jack slowly pushed back Travis’ assault. Travis felt his instincts kick in. He wouldn’t be able to win this clash; he needed to move now in order to avoid getting hit.
Travis managed to slide to his left, but while doing so, the grip on his Peony had dropped, allowing Jack to swat it out of his hands and send it flying away. The Peony rolled across the street, but Travis couldn’t go and get it, as Jack was still attacking him. The Chaser leaped into the air, intending to crush Travis into a puddle of blood.
Travis did a quick hop back, while a mannequin appeared in his position. Jack brought the car down on top of the mannequin, and Travis saw an opportunity. The passing assassin suddenly created a sphere with a blue field around it. Jack raised the car he was holding to swing it at Travis, but he noticed the sphere, which turned purple, much to his confusion. Travis simply smiled. “Three, two, one,” he said as it turned red, while Jack prepared to hit him with a car he was holding, “Kaboom.” The sphere exploded, blowing the car to bits and sending Jack flying across the street.
“Strawberry on the Shortcake!” Travis yelled as his hair turned yellow. He pulled out the Camellia Mk-III and ran after Jack, who was flying through the air. The reigning DeathWatch Champion landed on the ground, slamming his fist into it and skidding to a halt, finding himself on a bridge. He looked and saw Travis running at him at full speed, closing in the distance fast.
Travis soon reached Jack, but at that point, his Dark Side Mode expired. The two prepared to fight, with Jack getting his chainsaw ready. A quick glance Travis made to his side revealed that above the sea was a massive pile of spikes, spread across the bridge. If he fell, he would die. He was ready to end this battle.
“It’s time for a Bloodbath Challenge!” “With two people instead of one!”
(Music stops)
Jack’s chainsaw retracted, while Travis just stood there, confused. He heard footsteps, and turned to see a man walking across the bridge. This man was wearing a robe and a hat, and like everyone around him, he was in a basic black and white color. He was also holding a cane as he walked.
“That’s right pimps, players, and pain purveyors, it’s me, the Black Baron, stop starin’!” he said. Jack looked at him like he had questions, and that was because he did; he was sure the Baron had been killed back on Jefferson Island, but he put that question aside, as he knew that this man somehow survived some absurd stuff.
“Now this here is the Death Pit,” he explained, “It may seem unoriginal as fuck, but I couldn’t give a shit! It kills people!” He raised his cane, “How does it work? Well, just toss some motherfucker into it and watch as those spikes down there stab ‘em several times!” He then lowered his cane. However, he felt a hand grab him from behind.
“What the-” the Baron quickly turned his head behind him, and saw a woman holding onto him by the back of his robe. This woman had short hair and wore sunglasses. “Hey, baby, wait, don’t-” the Baron couldn’t stop the woman from throwing him behind her, sending him plummeting off the bridge.”Aw hell nahhhhhhh!” he screamed, which was the last thing he said before he was impaled by the spikes, which were visibly sticking out of many parts in his body as his blood gushed out. The woman then waved at a nonexistent camera and skipped away.
And with that, the Black Baron was dead again.
GO!
Travis and Jack ignored what had just happened, as people began falling from the sky, landing and seemingly ready to fight them. Jack, having past experience with Bloodbath Challenges, instantly knew what to do and grabbed a man that ran at him. He slammed him against the bridge, before tossing him in Travis’ direction, hoping to knock him off the bridge. The No More Hero saw it, and ducked, leaving the man to hit the bridge’s railing and fall off.
Jack grabbed another person and threw him, but Travis easily sliced him in half with the Camellia. Another man was tossed in Travis’ direction, but the assassin didn’t have to do anything, as he just ended up slamming into a random guy with a baseball bat who was conveniently standing between him and Travis, sending them both flying off the bridge to their deaths.
“You wanna throw people at each other, huh?” Travis said, putting away the Camellia. He had an idea of stabbing a bunch of people with a certain beam katana and reached for it, but felt nothing in its place, “Wait, where’s my- Shit!” He had forgotten he didn’t have the Peony with him. “Okay, I can work with this,” he said, raising his hand at a person, “Anti-gravity Death Force!” he called out, sending the man rocketing in Jack’s direction. “They’re tossing people to their deaths like my ex-wife tossing my stuff out of a house!” Jack noticed the Spear that the man was holding, and quickly grabbed it as he got out of the way, leaving the man to fall to his spiky fate.
Jack immediately impaled a man with the Spear, followed by another one. He then flicked his Spear, sending both of them as projectiles in Travis’ direction. The assassin immediately did the next thing that came to his mind, seeing that Jack was doing the same thing he was planning. He took out the Blood Berry, forming its blade and using it to stab someone, before tossing him at the people Jack threw. The person Travis threw collided with one of the people Jack threw, creating an explosion of blood, but the other person who was tossed by the Chaser flew in Travis’ direction, prompting the Crownless King to slide away from him as he fell to his death. Travis readjusted his focus to see who Jack was about to throw next. The Bloodbath Challenge’s timer was close to reaching 0 seconds, so he had to hold out for a little longer.
(Music stops)
KRAACK!
But Jack didn’t throw anyone. Instead, he simply shoulder-charged into Travis. Cayman rammed him at full force, knocking him off his feet and causing him to drop his beam katana. The Chaser reached forward and grabbed his legs while they were airborne. He began spinning in circles again, holding onto Touchdown. In fact, he began spinning so fast that he was creating afterimages. He and Travis had become a blur.
Then, with all the strength he could muster, he threw Travis up into the air and off the bridge just as the Bloodbath Challenge’s timer ended. “Have we ever had someone die in a Bloodbath Challenge?” “Of course we have, have you not watched a single Bloodbath Challenge ever?” “No, I meant- Ugh, forget it. Anyway, how many people died again? I think Jack killed the first guy, then Travis killed some people, then-” “Nobody said there’d be math!”
“That should do it,” Jack said.
By the time Travis recovered, he found himself falling from the sky. Everything felt slow to him, like that time he fell off a skyscraper after completing his quest for revenge. However, unlike that time, there was nobody who would drive by on a motorcycle and save him. Driving a motorcycle across spikes was impossible, anyway. All he could do was fall to his death, but he couldn’t let that happen. Using the index finger of his Death Glove-covered hand, Travis made a swipe across his face, creating an orange symbol as he muttered out the word “Henshin.”
(The 51st)
In a burst of orange energy, gray armor formed around the No More Hero, covering him head-to-toe. He wouldn’t die just yet, and smiled under his helmet as he rocketed up into the sky, saving him from his fate and kicking up dust. He flew up into the air, before immediately switching directions and plummeting down, using his flight to boost the force at which he was moving. “Oh, look, Travis is still not dead.” “Yeah, like I said, people with cool surnames aren’t pushovers.” “I have a cool surname.” “No you don’t.” “What are you talking about?! ‘Buckshot’ is a cool surname.” “That’s your middle name, you fucking idiot.” Travis’ Full Armor was activated.
Jack, meanwhile, had witnessed Travis flying up into the air and knew he was planning to fly back down at him. It was like an attack that the previous DeathWatch champion had used, so he knew what to do. He quickly rolled out of the way as Travis made an impact, which shook the bridge and kicked up debris, along with leaving a small crater. “I gotta say, out of all the ranking fights I’ve been in, this one might just be my toughest,” Travis said as he turned to Jack, taking out the Blood Berry.
“Just. Shut. Up!” Jack yelled in frustration at his seemingly-undying enemy, putting his Spear on his back and grabbing his Magnet Gun, which he aimed and fired. He wanted to end this and move on to other competitors. This guy was taking up too much time, and he needed to climb up to become the champion once again. He wanted Travis dead as soon as possible to keep him from interfering with his plan. He couldn’t give up here, as he needed to find out who was behind these games, and who took over Santa Destroy.
The Magnet Gun began pulling in Travis, along with a sword that was lying on the ground. Travis gave some resistance and turned away, attempting to fly out of the weapon’s grip while the sword, being an oversized Katana, didn’t do anything and just flew towards Jack. Travis then quickly realized he could simply disarm Jack, and turned around. “Try and dodge this!” he said, as the Full Armor’s parts opened up to reveal dozens of missiles.
FWOOM FWOOM FWOOM
The missiles were all fired out of Travis’ Full Armor and flew in Jack’s general direction. Before the champion could react, a missile hit his Magnet Gun, blowing off the front barrel and leaving the Katana he was pulling in to clatter against the ground in front of him. “I certainly can with what you’ve given me,” Jack said, grabbing the Katana off the ground as he turned to face the missiles that flew towards him.
Using his newfound weapon, he sliced a missile in half, followed by another one. Most of the missiles didn’t even come close to hitting him, but the ones that did were easily taken care of; he managed to cut one in half as it attempted to hit his shoulder, followed by another one that aimed for his stomach, and simply jumped over one that probably would’ve taken off one of his legs if he hadn’t jumped.
Travis ran out of missiles to fire, just as Jack had closed the gap between them and swung his Katana. Travis extended the Blood Berry’s blade, which turned red, as their weapons clashed. Jack was able to push Travis’ Blood Berry back, and the Crownless King knew it, so he immediately flew back, before jetting up into the sky as he put away his Blood Berry.
“Bougainvillea Mode!” he shouted, as his Full Armor transformed, now equipped with a shoulder cannon, a pair of energy blades for arms, and jets attached to his legs. Behind it were what appeared to be floating turrets. He looked down at Jack, and was clearly aiming at him. He was obviously waiting for something. From his perspective, a triangle appeared on Jack, who raised his katana in case something happened. Another triangle appeared on Jack, followed by another, and another. Soon, from Travis’ perspective, Jack had seven triangles on his body.
VROROOOWW...
BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
Immediately, the turrets behind Travis fired numerous energy blasts at Jack, who turned and began to run, with the image of a Wii Remote and Nunchuck shaking appearing as he picked up the pace. He ran across the bridge, trying to get some distance. Once he reached the other side of the bridge, he immediately turned left, but the Multilasers followed him. It reminded him of a giant robot he once battled, but he couldn’t use the same tactic here, as that robot wasn’t flying like Travis was. Instead, he just had to run, and hopefully find the timing to block the Multilasers. He sprinted past the destroyed car from earlier, before realizing he had enough distance and turned as the Wii Remote and Nunchuck’s symbols disappeared. Instead, it was replaced with a Wii Remote moving in a circle. Jack raised his Katana.
CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG
With a circular motion, he quickly blocked each blast. However, while he did so, Travis landed in front of him, cracking the ground. The No More Hero aimed his Hyper Megadeath Particle Cannon at the reigning DeathWatch champion, gathering energy into it. An image of a green square-shaped button with ‘B’ appeared, and Travis knew he was ready to fire.
Travis fired a massive energy beam from his shoulder, forcing Jack to leap behind a building and run. The beam generated numerous explosions from the buildings it hit as Travis swept it across the area. Jack quickly jumped through a building’s window to dodge it. “You can run, Jack, but you can’t hide,” Travis said as the beam proceeded to tear straight through the building. Jack noticed this and ran.
He didn’t have much time to act, so he ran through the building, watching the Megadeath Particle Cannon rip straight through it. As he ran, he looked around him. There were multiple corpses in the building. It was obvious that a fight had happened. Among the many baseball bats, knives, and similar weapons, Jack noticed two more revolvers and grabbed them as he jumped out another window.
“Unfortunately for you,” Jack said, “I don’t need to run.” He pulled the triggers of his newfound handguns, firing a pair of bullets at Travis. A red arrow appeared, moving right. Travis immediately swung one of his energy blades, cutting the bullets in half. Jack fired two more rounds, but two red arrows appeared, moving down. Travis followed their commands, and brought his energy blades down, slicing through the bullets again.
Travis then fired his Multilasers again, but Jack simply fired more revolver bullets, which blocked the energy blasts. Travis flew at Jack, dodging the gunfire. He swung one of his energy blades at the reigning DeathWatch champion, who dodged it. This left him open to be pistol-whipped across the face by one of Jack’s revolvers. He stumbled, while Jack fired more rounds from his handguns.
Jack quickly avoided a swing from one of Travis’ swords, before shooting more bullets, one of which chipped the No More Hero’s leg. However, Travis then flew straight into him, ramming him. He tackled Jack into a car. The Chaser slammed into the front of the car and dropped his guns, with Travis standing over him. However, the bounty hunter fought back, and immediately kicked Travis, knocking him off. Travis flew back, before landing on the ground by using one of his energy blades to scrape against it, halting his fall. He aimed the Megadeath Particle Cannon at Jack and prepared to fire.
For Travis, it felt like it took a few seconds for it to charge. For Jack, it felt like a few minutes. He knew he’d die if he was hit by the beam. He could try to dodge it, but then Travis would adjust his aim and blast him with it. He quickly realized he could knock Travis off-balance to mess up his aim. He looked around, before ripping off one of the car’s wheels. He pulled out the tire and scrambled to grab a revolver off the ground.
BANG
Jack fired first, and a bullet landed in Travis’ shoulder, causing him to stumble. His aim was messed up by the gunshot wound. He fired the Megadeath Particle Cannon into the sky. Travis tried to aim it at Jack, who simply jumped into the air and slammed the tire onto him.
Travis soon found his arms boundthrowing off his aim once again and causing him to fire to the side. The beam dissipated, leaving Travis to be hit by another punch to the face, followed by one to the stomach. Jack held back one of his arms, before backfisting the assassin across the side of his head, knocking him down and causing him to roll across the ground.
Travis’ energy blades quickly cut him free, and he flew at Jack, swinging one of said energy blades at him. Jack brought out his arm-mounted chainsaw and swung it, blocking Travis’ attack and pushing the two in opposite directions a little. Travis swung with his other arm, but Jack blocked it, too.
Jack’s chainsaw retracted as he took out his katana, swinging it at Travis. The assassin crossed his arms, letting his energy swords block it. Travis then pushed outwards, forcing Jack to stumble. He attempted to stab the reigning DeathWatch champion, who avoided it and returned the favor. He immediately thrusted his katana straight into Travis’ stomach, but the No More Hero jumped back.
It left him open for Jack to leave a massive gash across his stomach from a follow-up attack. That was exactly what happened, causing him to stumble. It also allowed Jack to go for another stab, which was successful. Travis stumbled back from having been stabbed again, his blood now leaking out.
In a burst of orange energy, Travis was forced to discard his Full Armor, reverting back to his base form. He reached into his body, finding the katana lodged deep in it. He was surprised it hadn’t stabbed all the way through him. He pulled it out with blood pouring from his stomach, before tossing it aside and slamming the Death Glove against the ground, creating another green energy field to heal himself. Cayman didn’t want to allow it, and charged at Touchdown. Travis quickly noticed this, and caught the punch with both of his hands.
Travis quickly lifted Jack with a vertical suplex as two red arrows appeared. He slammed Jack against the ground, cracking it as the slot machine appeared again. Travis watched as he rolled a star, followed by another star, and then another. He smiled as a burst of stars appeared around his body.
Invincible Mode Activated
Jack quickly got up and threw a punch at Travis, attempting to knock him out of his healing field again, but the punch did nothing. A second punch also had no effect. Jack began throwing a flurry of punches at Travis, who stood completely still, allowing himself to be healed by his energy field. Despite Jack’s best efforts, his attacks did nothing. Travis didn’t move an inch.
Soon, the energy field disappeared, and Travis, no longer having a reason to stand still, immediately headbutted Jack. The Chaser stumbled, and the stars around Travis’ body disappeared. Travis quickly realized his invincibility expired, and immediately raised his Death Glove-covered hand over his face.
“Henshin,” he said once again, this time creating a green mask. Suddenly, a green burst of energy covered his body, and he soon revealed a new set of armor, this one gray and green. His right arm was now a massive sword with green energy surging from it, and he had jets on his back. Jack immediately pulled out his spear and swung it at Travis, who blocked it with his blade. Travis went for two swings, but Jack dodged them, so he went for a new tactic. He quickly prepared to dash at his foe, who raised his spear.
Then Travis suddenly transformed into a giant green energy tiger. He lunged at Jack. The reigning DeathWatch champion immediately leaped to the side, rolling out of the way as Travis’s transformation found itself biting into the car from earlier. The car’s glass shattered and left a massive bite mark as the No More Hero’s Tiger Strike disappeared, and he noticed Jack running over to a pile of corpses with something sticking out of it.
Travis boosted in Jack’s direction, charging straight at him. Jack noticed this, and immediately turned around, before thrusting his spear at Travis. He didn’t land a hit, as his foe had dodged it. Travis delivered an overhead slash, but Jack backflipped away. As Travis landed, he prepared to swing again, only to notice Jack throwing the spear at him.
Not wanting to be impaled again, he swung his blade, slicing the spear in half, but this gave Jack the time to reach the corpses and pull something out. Conveniently, it was his best weapon. “Woah…” Travis’ eyes widened as he saw Jack holding a pair of chainsaws tied together with some chains.
(Play)
“Jack’s got his Double Chainsaw, and now he’s really ready to give it to Travis!” The reigning DeathWatch champion leaped into the air, bringing his Double Chainsaw down. “But Travis has a big sword, and he’s ready to slice Jack up with it!” The No More Hero raised his blade, and the Double Chainsaw slammed into it. As Jack bounced off, he landed against the ground and quickly made his next move, spinning around in an attempt to slice Travis into multiple pieces as he moved forwards. “What are you saying? You’re seriously thinking Travis is winning this?!” “Of course I am! Are you seriously thinking Jack is winning this?!”
Travis stepped back in order to avoid Cayman’s spinning attack, before swinging at him with his sword, but Jack went for another spin, hitting his blade as their weapons bounced off each other. “How could he not win this?! He’s been through the same shit as me!” “How’s this?” Touchdown asked, leaping back before firing off numerous missiles with energy flying out of them. “Yeah, but Travis has all of this crazy shit, he’d definitely win!” Jack ran at the assassin, attempting to jump over the missile barrage. Despite his efforts, it only meant the missiles landed a little bit behind him, creating a green explosion that blew him forwards and knocked his Double Chainsaw out of his hands. “Trust me, I’m sure Jack’s gonna emergue victorious!” Travis raised his blade and swung it at Jack, who was still airborne. “And I’m sure that Travis is gonna emerge victorious!”
VRMMM
Jack’s chainsaw slid out of his arm again as he raised it, blocking the Full Green’s sword as he landed. “You ever get this feeling that our arguing is pointless, and that we may be stuck in some sort of simulation that only exists so that someone else can determine who would win between them?” Jack found himself on the losing end of the clash pretty quickly, and he was being pushed back. In fact, he was sure that if he didn’t switch tactics, his chainsaw would snap right off his arm.
“Now that you mention it, yeah, I do. It’s like some dumbass simply set up all of this to see which of them would win.” Jack slammed his foot into Travis’ stomach, forcing him to stumble back and allowing the Chaser to deliver a good swing across Travis’ midsection, drawing a considerable amount of blood. But before Jack could land a killing blow, his chainsaw ran out of fuel and stopped moving, so he retracted it and instead held his fist behind him. The sound of a motor filled Travis’ ears, but there was no chainsaw.
POW
Travis soon found Jack uppercutting his midsection, sending him flying through the air. He landed on his back, and quickly got up. He and Jack ran at each other, before the latter went for a jumping kick. Travis raised his sword, leaving Jack to bounce off the flat edge of the blade. Jack landed as Travis went for a horizontal slash. He raised his right hand, before bringing it down as he raised his leg.
CLANG
Travis’ sword lodged itself in between Jack’s elbow and knee, which pressed together and held the blade in place. Jack used his other arm to batter Travis’ face with punches. Travis’ head tilted left with each blow, feeling the force of a muscular fist slamming into his temple. He reached out and caught the hand to stop it, before firing more missiles, this time at point-blank range.
Jack was blown across the sky, flying straight into a building. The wall smashed open from the impact, causing him to roll across the ground. He picked himself up, quickly looking around. He noticed another rocket launcher, this one leaning against a wall. He picked it up, putting it on his back.
He took a step back, before charging forwards and ramming into the wall with a shoulder charge, breaking through it and exiting the building. The first thing he saw was Travis rushing at him, so he took out his rocket launcher and pulled the trigger. Travis fired his Multi-missiles. The explosives collided, creating a pseudo-smokescreen. Neither of them could see through it.
The Crownless King felt something traveling through the smoke. He wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something. Immediately, he jumped back and raised his sword, before instinctively swinging it. He was glad he did, as he intercepted a rocket, slicing it in half. Its halves flew behind him and exploded. Travis quickly took two more swings, cutting through two more rockets that were aiming at him.
He immediately raised his sword upon seeing Jack himself lunging through the smoke, holding his rocket launcher as a melee weapon again. Travis quickly swung again. Like before, he sliced it in half. However, Jack revealed his chainsaw and swung it as he ran forwards. Travis quickly leaned back, barely ducking under it. He was sure that if he didn’t move, it would’ve sliced his neck.
Jack dashed past Travis, much to the latter’s surprise. Travis replied by quickly turning around and firing his Multi-missiles at Jack, who noticed them flying towards his legs to throw him off-balance. Jack leaped into the air as the missiles were about to hit his feet. The ensuing blast sent him flying through the air, but that was what he wanted, as he quickly rolled across the ground, landing right next to his Double Chainsaw, which he picked up.
When he turned to face Travis, he saw that the latter had attempted to use his Tiger Attack again. The Crownless King lunged at the Chaser, attempting to chew him apart again, but Jack jumped out of the way, leaving him to miss. Upon seeing his attack fail, his transformation disappeared, and he quickly turned to his right, blocking a spinning slash from his foe.
VROROOOWW…
Travis and Jack charged at each other once again. Jack raised his Double Chainsaw over his head and swung it. Travis raised the massive blade attached to his arm and swung it. Their weapons collided. An image of a Wii Remote appeared, with a circle around it. Travis began pushing against the Double Chainsaw, causing Jack to nearly stumble. Then, an image of a Wii Remote and Nunchuck shaking appeared, and Jack countered by pushing back. Their weapons kept pressing against each other, but eventually, the struggle would break.
And soon, it did.
(Music should end)
SHING
Travis pushed his foe to the point of making him stumble. He swung his sword, slicing off the Double Chainsaw’s blade, which flew into the air. Jack was surprised to see the blade of his weapon be sliced off. Travis smiled under his helmet. “Now it’s really over, Jack,” he said, his sword pointed at the Chaser’s head. “Not yet,” was all Jack said, as Travis had forgotten something.
There were two blades attached to the Double Chainsaw, not one.
Immediately, he rushed up and, before Travis could react, plunged his weapon into Travis’ chest. “AAGGHH! FUCK! MY SPLEEN! SHIT!” the No More Hero yelled out in response to getting stabbed as blood gushed out of his torso. He soon found his Full Green disappearing, leaving him with just his base form. Immediately, he threw a punch straight into Jack’s face, the bounty hunter reeling back in response as he pulled his weapon out of his foe.
Travis had practically limped as he looked down at the Death Glove, which was covered in blood. He let out a heavy sigh and cursed under his breath. His shirt was ripped, blood was leaking out, and now that the Death Glove was ruined, he couldn’t heal himself. He reached for the Rose Nasty and pulled it out, igniting its blades.
Jack, meanwhile, did a shocking move and threw his Double Chainsaw into the air, before bringing out his arm-mounted chainsaw. He swung his chainsaw at the Double Chainsaw, slicing apart the chains holding it together. He grabbed the half that still had a blade as it fell from the sky, as the other half simply landed on the ground.
The two ran at each other, Travis swinging his beam katanas, only for Jack to dodge and counter with his chainsaws. Travis avoided the strikes. Jack went for a horizontal swing with his Double Chainsaw, but Travis dodged it. The No More Hero charged up his beam katanas, before swinging both of them downwards, which Jack dodged. The reigning DeathWatch champion then swung his arm-mounted chainsaw, hitting Travis in the chest and drawing even more blood.
“You ripped my shirt!” Travis complained as he staggered, “I’m gonna have to pay for a new one!” Jack rolled his eyes. “You’ve got a lot more than a ripped shirt to worry about,” he said, jumping into the air. He swung his chainsaws down, attempting to bisect his foe. Travis quickly raised his beam katanas with a smile, blocking the attack. “You were saying?” he asked, only for the Rose Nasty to run out of battery.
Travis’ face dropped, and he quickly darted off before Jack had a chance to hit him. The No More Hero began recharging his Rose Nasty, but he was interrupted by an object hitting his beam katanas; Jack had thrown his Double Chainsaw, knocking the Rose Nasty out of Travis’ hands. Travis stepped back out of shock, and looked up at the reigning DeathWatch champion, who had retrieved his katana from earlier. Jack spun it around, before rushing at Travis, who took out the Camellia again. They jumped at each other.
SHINK
Both of them felt a rush of pain inside their torsos as they dropped from the sky, falling on their backs. They also felt their blood spilling out. Something sharp had entered them. Both of them let go of whatever they were holding onto and took a step back, looking at what had entered their midsections. They had katanas stuck inside them. The one in Jack’s body had a green blade. The one in Travis’ body looked more realistic. Both of them realized they had stabbed each other with their respective weapons.
Quickly, they both reached down, yanking out the weapons. Travis, with so many stab wounds, stumbled around a little bit, before simply dropping the katana. It felt pretty redundant compared to the other weapons he had. Jack also had a handful of wounds, but they weren’t as severe. He still struggled a little bit, but he did manage to hold the Camellia Mk-III. He deactivated it, causing its blade to disappear, before holding it in his hand, gripping it so tightly that a snap was heard. The reigning DeathWatch champion dropped the Camellia onto the ground. It was visibly bent.
The two were beaten and bloodied. They both had multiple wounds from slashes and stabs. Neither of them would give up. Blood was spilling from their bodies, painting the street red; both of them saw it. They were only one strike away from victory.
The No More Hero pulled out his last remaining beam katana, the Blood Berry. Travis held it with both hands. Jack, meanwhile, revealed his chainsaw once again, ready to pull its wire and start it up. The two stared each other down, their weapons raised.
“They’re about to go for the final strike!” “Indeed. It’s about to be the end of the greatest battle in DeathWatch history!” Travis held his Blood Berry, ready to swing. “Come on, Jack!” he said, “It’s time to end this with one final strike!” Yellow electricity emerged from Travis' body. “I know I’ve said before that I don’t help people,” the Chaser replied, “but I can certainly kill them. And if that’s what you’re after, I can give it to you.” He held up his chainsaw. It roared to life.
VROROOOWW…
The two waited to strike. They were ready to finish this. Travis charged up his beam katana, and Jack got his chainsaw ready. A red arrow pointing left and a Wii Remote moving right appear. Responding to the commands, the two ran at each other. Travis and Jack were closing in on each other fast, their weapons raised to slice each other apart. “And here it comes…”
A red arrow pointing left and a Wii Remote moving right appeared again, and both went for their respective commands, delivering the final blow as they swung at each other. However, their blows collided, creating sparks. "Are you fucking kidding me! We had so much build-up and then they both missed?!” Rather than clash blades, they pulled their weapons back. Travis prepared to deliver an uppercut-esque swing with the Blood Berry, while a red arrow pointing up appeared. “Well, here it comes for real…” Jack raised his chainsaw over his head, while a Wii Remote moving down appeared.
The true last strike was then delivered. Travis swung his beam katana up, while Jack swung his saw down. Jack’s arm-mounted chainsaw was about to cleave Travis in half, and Travis’ Blood Berry was about to slice Jack’s stomach open.
SLISH
SHLING
The Blood Berry ripped straight into Jack, slicing straight into him and cutting all a vertical line across his entire torso as blood gushed out of it. The swing had even sliced off his chainsaw when Travis finished it. Jack recoiled from the pain and his bleeding stomach. Travis simply gave him a smug look. “I suppose I’ll take your spot as the champion,” he said. Jack held his wound and looked up at Travis, who raised the Blood Berry.
“Fuck you,” was all he could say, not even bothering to come up with any fancy last words as Travis swung his beam katana, slicing into Jack and creating a white line to show it. Travis swung again, creating another line. He followed up with another strike, followed by another. Travis swung numerous times, moving so fast that his arm was making afterimages. By the end of it, Jack had numerous white lines, representing all the wounds on his body, before Travis turned around and put the Blood Berry back on his waist.
The reigning DeathWatch champion’s blood leaked out of the numerous wounds that the No More Hero had created, but there were so many wounds that it looked more like his entire body exploding in one big gush of blood that splattered across the road. Everything turned red, Jack’s blood flying everywhere as three words appeared on screen with a voice reading them out loud.
JACK
CAYMAN
DEAD
After about 13 seconds, the words had disappeared, leaving Santa Destroy in its original coloring. “Huh? The color’s back?” Travis asked, despite nobody being around to answer him as he walked down the streets, the elctricity around him fading. “Well, folks, this has been one of the greatest DeathWatch games ever, and what a great way to end it with such an epic battle!” “End it? There are still loads of people?” “Oh, them? Turns out those fuckers all conveniently killed each other. We were just so focused on the battle between Travis and Jack that we didn’t notice.”
“So that makes Travis the new champion of DeathWatch?” “Yeah, I suppose so.” “The author must’ve been too fuckin’ lazy to have him kill all those people…” “Amen to that!” “And I don’t blame them, because if I was writing a fight scene, I wouldn’t want to have to look through the body count just to make sure at least 200 and something people had died, and nobody said there’d be math!” “Well, it was an amazing battle, but in the end, there could only be one number one.” “For the last. Fuckin’. Time. NOBODY SAID THERE’D BE MATH!”
“I blame our schooools.”
"I could use a beer after such an epic battle."
"Me too."
“Speaking of beer, it's time for us to split. This has been Howard ‘Buckshot’ Holmes!”
"And Kreese Kreely."
"Saying thanks to all our players, our viewers, and of course, our sponsors"
"And we'll see you in hell!"
Results[]
Person 3: Okay, I don’t normally like to praise things, but that I can definetly see why these two are the best among their fellow killers.
Person 1: Indeed. Both Travis and Jack certainly deserved their titles as the best killers of their universes, but against each other, it was only inevitable the reigning DeathWatch champion would’ve been dethroned.
Person 2: To Jack’s credit, he wasn’t going down without a fight. He was a much more resourceful fighter than Travis, being able to turn everyday objects into dangerous weapons, in addition to his time as a police officer and marine meaning that he likely had superior training. This also makes him more strategic than Travis, who mostly just rushes in and slices and dices.
Person 1: Jack also held the edge in lifting strength. He was able to hold back two shipping containers, something that Travis has never come close to. Sure, the Glastonbury was able to throw a building-sized robot into space, but it should be noted that in a fight like this, it is unlikely for Travis to bring in the Glastonbury. The only reason he uses it is for when he’s at a very noticeable height disadvantage. Up against someone human-sized like Jack, he’d never really think of bringing it out.
Person 3: Plus, the Jack Balloons weren’t something Travis had an answer to. Sure, he’s been brought back to life, but that was entirely thanks to someone else. These Jack Balloons kept everyone’s favorite DeathWatch competitor from being permanently killed, but once he ran out of them, he was screwed, and believe me, his extra lives would drop like flies against someone like Travis.
Person 1: Travis was strong enough that one good hit would kill Jack, which meant one less Jack Balloon. Jack certainly had some impressive strength and durability, as he was able to survive tornadoes that could destroy cities, and attacks from the world’s deadliest weapon, as well as use weapons capable of hurting him, but Travis was in another league. He sliced through a planet-sized alien, and was able to fight against aliens that were stated to be capable of destroying planets. As a result, Travis easily beat Jack in terms of striking strength and durability.
Person 2: Speed wasn’t exactly a contest either. Jack could block revolver bullets, but Travis has fought aliens who can draw swords at the speed of light, and those were only common fodder aliens, so much tougher ones like the Galactic Superhero rankings, who Travis also fought, should be faster than that.
Person 3: Plus, it didn’t help Jack that Travis had a much more versatile set of weapons, combined with the fact that he could carry them all at the same time. Especially that Death Glove of his. Not only did it provide him options for long range combat that were both more consistent and more versatile, plus a lot of what Travis has is stuff that Jack hasn’t seen before.
Person 2: Jack has certainly dealt with some absurd things, but he didn’t exactly have answers to Travis’ intangibility, time-slowing, and other more out-there abilities. There’s a noticeable difference in what they have to work with. Jack’s more primitive and basic weaponry didn’t hold up very well against Travis’ much wackier equipment and abilities. Jack can’t really put his resourcefulness and other advantages to use because Travis’ superior physicality would do him in before he had a chance to get anywhere, and if that didn’t work, the far more absurd tools at the No More Hero’s disposal would’ve finished the job. And it didn’t help that Travis has demonstrated he can carry all of his weapons at the same time, something that Jack can’t do.
Person 3: And all this meant that despite Cayman’s best efforts and trying to make the cut, he couldn’t do Jack against Travis.
Person 1: The winner is Travis Touchdown.
Original Track[]
The track would be called "Heroes of a Mad World", referencing both games the combatants come from.