The Thing vs. Garnet is the first episode of AdamGregory03's fanon Death Battle. The episode was posted on deviantArt on December 6, 2014.
Description[]
Episode 1: The Thing vs. Garnet. Which fearless rock-based warrior will be victorious in a battle to the death?
Interlude[]
Wizard: "Minerals. One of the hardest substances on Earth, these gifts of the ground can grant us with many uses for them, even in heroic combat. Like Ben Grimm, the Thing, of the Fantastic Four."
Boomstick: "And Garnet, of the Crystal Gems."
Wizard: "I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle."
The Thing[]
Wizard: "Benjamin Jacob Grimm is a close friend of Reed Richards and has been ever since high school. After graduation, he became a pilot and went into astronaut training."
Boomstick: "Turns out at the same time, Reed was developing a star ship that needed a pilot for a test flight. What a coinky-dink!"
Wizard: "Ben agreed to be the pilot for the star ship. He and Reed, along with Reed's fiancé Susan and her younger brother Johnny, flew the star ship into space and were exposed to cosmic radiation. When returning to Earth, they all had new powers and would go on to become the Fantastic Four. Though Ben's transformation was a bit more noticeable than the others. He became known as... the Thing."
Boomstick: "Most original fucking name ever."
General Information:
- Real Name: Benjamin Jacob Grimm
- Sex: Male
- Height: 6'0"
- Weight: 500 lbs (227 kg)
- Member of the Fantastic Four
Boomstick: "But apparentally catchin' some mutant space beams can do wonders for ya! He became a hulking (no pun intended), massive creature made out of rocks, with super strength to boot, and turned him into a power level 8 superhero! Hey Wiz, when you do get that space ship working, sign me up!"
Wizard: "After the last time?"
Boomstick: "Oh... right."
Official Ratings:
- Intelligence: 3/7
- Strength: 6/7
- Speed: 2/7
- Durability: 6/7
- Energy Projection: 1/7
- Fighting Skills: 5/7
Skills and Abilities:
- Rock-like skin
- Superhuman strength
- Superhuman durability
- Enhanced stamina
- Technically immortal
Wizard: "The Thing's rocky exterior makes him incredibly tough. He's durable enough to withstand powerful impacts, including high level explosions and extreme temperatures."
Boomstick: "And another perk of being a rocky human guy is how damn strong you are! He's strong enough to hold up a falling thirty story building and push it right back into place. I am not making that shit up!"
Wizard: "He's also greatly skilled in hand-to-hand combat. His fighting style incoperates of wrestling, boxing, and even Jujitsu."
Boomstick: "...'Cause nothin' screams kung fu like a six foot tall rock monster, am I right?"
Wizard: "Another of Ben's great qualities is his great willpower. He cannot easily be broken and will always continue to fight, regardless the situation."
Boomstick: "Old Ben also can' really die of old age, because... rocks just don't grow old, I guess?"
Wizard: "Well, most of the rocks on Earth are over thousands of years old, so it does somewhat make sense how Ben would not physically age when he's the Thing."
Weaknesses:
- Is not invincible
- Head strong
- Weight and density
Boomstick: "Well, despite being able to take a fucking nuke to the face, Thing's not truly invincible. He can still be hurt pretty badly by stronger opponents. And he couldn't even hold up against the Wolverine's adamantium claws."
Wizard: "Ben is also head strong and often rushes into fights without thinking. His weight and density may also prove a problem, especially in bodies of water."
Boomstick: "Yeah, he hits like a tank and moves like one if you know what I mean."
Feats:
- Able to trade blows with the Hulk
- Temporarily was one of the Serpent's Worthies
- Fought in the Super Hero Civil War
Wizard: "Ben has found himself able to trade blows with the Hulk, and-"
Boomstick: "Wait a minute, wouldn't Hulk just break him considering how much he breaks rocks?"
Wizard: "You're asking for logic in the feats of a superhero."
Boomstick: "Oh, good point."
Wizard: "He was also temporarily Angrir, the Breaker of Souls, and one of the Worthies of the Serpent, and has fought in the Super Hero Civil War-"
Boomstick: "SUPER HERO CIVIL WAR?"
Wizard: "Yes, that's something that actually happened. He even temporarily lead the Fantastic Four during Reed and Susan's retirement to raise their children. The Thing is proven to be more than a match for anyone who crosses his path."
Boomstick: "Yeah, he will always rock you're world."
Wizard: (Sarcastically) "Clever pun."
Boomstick: "Thanks!"
Thing: "It's clobberin' time!"
Garnet[]
Wizard: "For thousands of years, the universe has been protected by a race of superhuman beings known as the Crystal Gems. These beings are essentially sentient gemstones granted with the power of the universe.
Boomstick: "And they are..."
(Insert a clip of Pearl and Amethyst arguing here. Any clip will do.)
Boomstick: "Disfunctional to say the least. Anyway, there used to be a lot of these gems protecting the universe, until they were mostly corrupted and turned into monsters. Dont'cha hate it when that happens?"
Wizard: "Five gems managed to avoid being corrupted, though one of them was sealed in a mirror, and the leader of this team apparentally died after giving birth to Steven, a child who is half human and half gem."
Boomstick: "So who do they get to replace the leader? The badass one, of course! Ladies and gentlemen, this is Garnet!"
General Information:
- Age: Not recorded, over thousands of years old
- Sex: Genderless, identified as female
- Height: Inbetween 5'0" and 6'0"
- Weight: Not recorded
Wizard: "For someone who holds the fate of the universe in her hands, has to ensure the safety of a child, AND put up with her usually arguing teammates, Garnet seems to remain stoic, and almost emotionless."
Boomstick: "Well somewhere she had to go crazy! I mean look at her! She looks like a sunburnt Lady Gaga on afro night!"
Wizard: "...Interesting analogy there."
Abilities: -Fusing with other Crystal Gems -Shape-shifting -Enhanced strength, durability, and senses -Summoning exclusive Crystal Weapon -Future vision (According to synopsis of upcoming episode) -Retreat into gem to heal -Gems produce electricity
Wizard: "All Crystal Gems seem to share a handful of magic abilities, such as shape-shifting, allowing the body to become malleable and extend or mold into other objects and people."
Boomstick: "They can also do a little dance and fuse with each other, and as long as it doesn't result in a lawsuit from the Dragon Ball people, it makes some powerful combinations!"
Wizard: "Who won't be appearing here due to our no outside help rule."
Boomstick: "Aw!"
Wizard: "Gems can also cast holograms, though Garnet rarely uses this ability if ever. And if she takes too much damage, she can retreat into her gems to heal, though the process' length depends on the damage. As for her exclusive powers, Garnet is skilled in hand-to-hand combat and brawling. And waacking."
Boomstick: "What?"
Wizard: "A type of dance that consists of moving arms to the rhythm."
Boomstick: "...Okay. She's also incredibly strong, able to go toe-to-toe with monsters five times her size. And has some insane durability to boot! She can be flung hundreds of feet, land in a building, and have that building collapse right on top of her, and get up without a scratch! And-"
Garnet: The Earth Beetle's at the bottom of the boiling lava lake, and only I can swim in lava.
Boomstick: "WHAT? Someone get her into national defense!"
Wizard: "She also appears to have some sort of sixth sense that allows her to foresee emergency events before they happen. This may have something to do with her-"
(Clip from Arcade Mania where her third eye is revealed)
Boomstick: "WHAT THE SHIT SAUCE IS THAT? OH GOD, GET IT OFF SCREEN, IT'S FREAKING ME OUT!"
Wizard: "Okay, okay! It's gone! ...She can also appear to generate electricity from her gems, though it is currently unknown if this ability is shared with the others."
Boomstick: "And when it's time for a fight, she can connect to the universe, and whip out her fabulous fists of destruction!"
Gauntlets:
- Increases attacking power
- Can break solid rock
- Can be launched as a projectile
Wizard: "Her exclusive crystal weapons are a pair of gauntlets. These gauntlets are exceptionally heavy and are sturdy enough to crack stone."
Boomstick: "And so she's not limited to fighting up close, she can also shoot them off like a rocket. Very effective for destroying watermelons."
Wizard: "...And physics."
Boomstick: "All in all, she's pretty much flawless!"
Wizard: "Well..."
Weaknesses:
- Head strong and highly competitive
- Poor strategy skills
- Slightly ill-tempered
Wizard: "Garnet is somewhat over confident in her abilities, and has a highly competitive spirit. She also believes that violence can solve most problems."
Boomstick: "Wait, it can't?"
Wizard: "...No."
Boomstick: "...Well, I got some apologizing to do. Despite being a respected leader, she's not the best when it comes to thinking. Pretty sad when a fucking ten year old can come up with better plans than you."
Wizard: "And while she mostly remains level-headed, she can be pushed to her limits, especially if her orders are disobeyed."
Boomstick: "Don't get her angry. You will not like her when she's angry."
Feats:
- Successful leader of Crystal Gems
- Defeated more gem monsters than the others
- Survived unknown amount of solo missions
Wizard: "She is a strong and fearless leader and won't back down from challenges. Even taking on entire missions by herself, Garnet is a force to be reckoned with."
Boomstick: "She can protect my universe anyday, if you know what I mean."
Wizard: "No, and I don't want to know."
Garnet: Howdy. Bang.
Battle[]
Wizard: "All right, the combatants are set, it's time to end this debate once and for all!"
Boomstick: "It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!"
Crystal Mines
Garnet teleports into the mines, not too far away from another deus ex machina gem. She hears someone else though and looks around the corner, seeing the Thing coming around with some kind of communicator. Mr. Fantastic is on the other side.
Mr. Fantastic: "Ben, remember to be careful out there. This could be much more dangerous on the way back then the way in."
Thing: "Relax, Reed. This is the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Thing you're talkin' about here. I got this."
Thing presses the button to shut the communicator off and accidentally breaks it.
Thing: "Oops."
Thing just puts the pieces in his pocket. He then walks over to the gem and picks it up.
Thing: "Huh. So this is the hunk of crystal Reed wants for his experiment? I don't see what's so special about-"
Garnet suddenly jumps out and punches the Thing with her gauntlets, knocking him away.
Thing: "GAH!"
Garnet then takes the gem and puts it back, then faces the Thing as he stands up.
Thing: "You got ten seconds to explain yourself before I pound your face in."
Garnet: "I am a Crystal Gem. And I'm here because a certain golem was after this gem." (Enters fighting stance) "And I will defeat that golem."
Thing: "Golem? Wh-me?" (Laughs) "All right, buttercup, show me what ya got then!" (Clenches fists) "It's clobberin' time!"
FIGHT!
Garnet runs in with her gauntlets and punches the Thing twice in the face. Thing manages to catch her next two punches in his hands and tries to force her down. He then releases one of them and punches Garnet in the stomach, then picks her up and throws her away.
Thing: "What, was that it? My Aunt Petunia hits harder than you!"
Garnet stands up and readies herself. She runs toward the Thing, who holds his ground. The two of them trade multiple blows, the Thing even manages to knock off Garnet's shades and expose her third eye.
Thing: "...Jeepers creepers, where'd ya get that peeper?"
The Thing is sent flying away with a punch from Garnet's gauntlets and lands next to a rock formation. The Thing notices she managed to chip some small pieces of rock off of him. He then sees Garnet leap up into the air and dive for him with her gauntlet first. The Thing breaks off a chunk of the rock formation and throws it at her, though she manages to break it and continue her attack. The Thing gets out of the way just in time.
Thing then retaliates and the two of them trade blows. Garnet catches the Thing's punch and retaliates by punching him in the stomach with her gauntlet.
Thing: "OOF!"
He looks down and sees Garnet managed to chip some rock off of him. Garnet then grabs onto the Thing and leaps into the air with him. She then spins and throws the Thing toward the ground. The Thing lands and forms a small crater due to the impact. The Thing groans and gets up.
Garnet: (Lands and folds arms) "You done?"
Thing: "No..." (Jumps out) "I'm just gettin' started!"
Garnet gets out of the way as Thing punches the ground. Thing rushes in, but Garnet manages to out maneuver his attacks and get behind him. Thing turns around, only for Garnet to punch him in the chest, then launch off the gauntlet like a rocket (like in Watermelon Steven). This sends Thing into the wall. Garnet sees the Thing slumped against the wall with her gauntlet still in his chest. Garnet sighs and then turns away.
Garnet: "Now you're done."
SUDDENLY...
The Thing opens his eyes and sees Garnet. He pulls the gauntlet out of his chest, leaving a dented hole where it was.
Thing: "Think again, sweetie pie!"
Garnet turns again, only to be hit in the face by her own gauntlet, thrown by Thing. The Thing then gets in close. Garnet tries summoning her gauntlets again, but is punched in the cheek by the Thing, interrupting it and leaving a bruise on her. Garnet goes to grab him again, but Thing uppercuts her in the stomach, causing her to cough out spit and send her flying. She hits the ceiling of the mines and Thing leaps up after her. He grabs her by the waist and pushes her down as they fall. They then land, kicking up dust in the arena.
The dust clears to reveal another small crater formed, this time with the Thing's fist in the ground with Garnet's gems just laying there. The Thing is panting and he lifts his fist out of the ground, then gently touches the area damaged by her gauntlets.
Thing: "The things I do for ya, stretch... Now I gotta get that colored rock and leave."
The Thing takes a step forward, immediately after setting his foot down what sounds like glass shattering is heard. He looks down and sees he accidentally crushed Garnet's gems with his feet.
Thing: "Whoops."
Results[]
Boomstick: "Well, say hi to Rose for us, Garnet."
Wizard: "Garnet was stronger in terms of physical strength and had plenty more abilities than Ben. However, of her abilities the only thing that could really do any damage to him would be her gauntlets."
Boomstick: "Which is what she mainly uses, so no problem there right? I mean she can use 'em to break rocks! But guess who can break rocks with his bare hands? Good ol' Bruce Banner in a bad mood. And even then he can't do too much to our boy Grimm unless he's REALLY angry!"
Wizard: "Not to mention, Ben's also smarter than Garnet, who usually rushes into battles blindly. As we mentioned, she's no strategist, and even if Ben couldn't defeat her in hand-to-hand combat he could be able to find a different method."
The Thing:
- +More durable
- +Could withstand Garnet's stronger blows
- +Smarter
Garnet:
- +Better fighter
- +More skills and abilities
- -Only gauntlets would be effective
Boomstick: "Garnet was doin' pretty good until she broke down."
Wizard: "The winner is the Thing."