Boston Bashers
Description[]
Team Fortress vs. Dead Rising! Two seemingly ordinary men who are somehow incredibly potent in a fight! Who will knock the other out of the park?
Intro[]
Wiz: The ability to use pretty much anything as a weapon is something mankind has tried to achieve for quite a while now. However, these 2 guys from Boston have already beaten them to the punch.
Boomstick: Frank West, the guy who's covered wars y'know.
Wiz: And The Scout, the loud-mouthed bat-wielding ego maniac.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to find out who would win, a Death Battle.
The Scout[]
Wiz: The Scout is one of the 9 playable Mercs in Team Fortress 2. He's best known for being the fastest member of the group, and being the loudest as well.
Boomstick: The Scout is the fastest member of the team, and it really shows. In his base, he's able to outrun not only gunfire from a Turret, but also was able to avoid a train hitting him! It gets better when he drinks his BONK! Atomic punch, which lets him move fast enough to cause after images!
Wiz: He has a large arsenal of weapons as well. His primaries include the standard shotgun, which is a shotgun, the Force-A-Nature, which has large knockback and can boost the Scout, and the Soda Popper, which grants him an extra 5 jumps for a limited time before having to recharge.
Boomstick: His secondaries include a Pistol, which again is just a Pistol, BONK! Atomic Punch, which lets him run super fast and become momentarily invincible, and Crit-A-Cola, which for ten seconds boosts him strength to massive levels.
Wiz: And finally, for his melee, he has a normal Baseball bat...take a guess what it does...the Sandman, which lets him shoot a ball that can stun others for a little bit, and the Flying Guillotine, which he throws and it causes bleed damage. There's more but this will be enough.
Boomstick: The Scout also, for some reason, has a double jump because fuck physics. With it he is by far the highest jumper in TF2, able to leap pretty high. He's strong too, as he's able to hit someone to kingdom come in one of his taunts! I think it's due to how much BONK! he drinks.
Wiz: The Scout was not only able to outrun gunfire and a train, he also fights and kills 8 other skilled killers on a near daily basis. Keep in mind, this includes a Russian guy with a knack for guns, a train Spy assassin, and a god damn Pyromaniac, so it's quite impressive he survived for this long.
Boomstick: However, the Scout isn't very strong. Numerous times depicted him as a weakling, and he's outclassed by guys like The Heavy. Plus, he's a complete idiot.
Wiz: Overall though, he's good enough to be a part of the TF2 Crew.
"I. FREAKIN'. LOVE. MAGIC!"
Frank West[]
Wiz: Frank West is a famous photographer who has fought off a Zombie outbreak not once, not twice, but three separate times. After all, he has cover wars y'know.
Boomstick: Frank is surprisingly strong, able to trade blows with trained military men and can throw shit like Lawnmowers with ease. Frank is also pretty smart, able to craft pretty uch anything. Oh, have we mentioned he can make anything out of everything?
Wiz: Yes, Frank is the master of adapting to his surroundings. Using pretty much anything, he can craft a weapon that's able to wipe out hordes of Zombies. There's far too many to count, but some include a chain-laced Baseball Bat, a god damn LIGHTSABER, a dual-wield Chainsaw, Electric Hammers, Rubber Ducky Boxing Gloves, and even more.
Boomstick: Ol' Frank is also good at using pretty much anything as a weapon if he doesn't have the time for crafting. From rakes to trash cans to Teddy Bears to even Toilet Plungers, if he can hold it, he'll use it as a weapon. And he's damn good at using them, too!
Wiz: West also owns a Camera. While it may not seem useful at first, it actually can function as a way to stun others using the Camera's flash. He loves to take pictures of the action and will stop at nothing to get the scoop. This determination has led him to extreme levels.
Boomstick: Oh, did we mention he owns a freaking Mega Buster, which deals massive damage and is nigh-unblockable? And a fucking MECH SUIT, which grants him tremendous power at the cost of it only lasting a few minutes? No? Well, now we did.
Wiz: Frank, once again, was able to stop a Zombie Outbreak up to three separate times and not once did he get zombified. He also battled against psychopaths, giant robots, a superpowered Zombie, and even Military train generals. Then there's the whole "Covered Wars" thing.
Boomstick: However, no matter how much stuff Frank can make, it doesn't help the fact that Frank is only a man, and therefor dies from anything a normal man does. Plus, he doesn't exactly plan much.
Wiz: Overall, Frank west is one tough cookie.
"I've covered Wars, y'know!"
Pre-Fight[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set! Lets end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
Death Battle[]
Inside of the Badlands, the Scout was doing his usual day job: killing the other Mercs and blowing shit up. He was on his way to steal the RED/BLU teams briefcase when he saw another man he's never seen before taking it and inspecting it. The Scout walked in and said "Um, excuse me mister? That case belongs to me, so screw off and give it t'me." The guy just said "No way. This is gonna be the scoop of the month!"
The Scout pulled out his Force-A-Nature. "Well, if you ain't gonna listen, imma just beat you up then." The mysterious man pulled out what looks like a staff with knifes taped to it. "You do know I'm THE Frank West, right? I've covered wars, y'know." Scout simply replied with "You may have covered 'em, but have you fought 'em?"
The Scout attacked first by shooting at Frank, but West roll-dodged it and pulled out a handgun, trying to also shoot Scout. He missed as the scout jumped out of the bullets way and hid behind the desk where the briefcase was held. Frank slid over the desk and was ready to shoot only to find that the Scout wasn't there. He then turned around to find him about to hit him over the head with a Baseball Bat. Before he could, however, Frank said "Smile!" and took a picture, temporaraly blinding the Scout with the flash. Frank then made a break for it as Scout followed him once his senses returned.
They both ended up outside of 2Fort as the scout runs out and see's Frank holding what looks like Boxing Gloves with Barbed Wire all over them. Both ran at each other as Scout swang his bat at Frank, but missed as Frank punched Scout across the face. The merc stumbled back at bit, wiped the blood off of his face, then moved backwards a bit and threw a Flying Gillutien at Frank, who caught it but got a baseball bat to the gut while distracted. Scout then kicked Frank to the floor and started pounding him with the Bat, but Frank manages to throw some dirt into Scouts face and kick him away.
"Gah! Oh, come on!" Scout said as he wiped the dust out of his face. "That's the second freakin' time you blinded me!" Scout complained as he got his Shotgun back out, aimed at the floor, and used it to boost himself to the roof of the bridge. "That's not how physics work, but alright." Frank muttered as he started climbing up one of the railings. The Scout tried to knock him down with a few Baseballs, but they just bounced off of Frank. Frank, once he reached Scout, grabbed his leg as both of them fell into the water.
Frank swam up and saw the Scout run into one of the Sewer pipes and ran after him, grabbing a Chainsaw and a staff on the way and made a Chainsaw-Staff. He found the Scout inside the BLU Base and swung the Chainsaw at him. Scout ducked under it and hitting Frank in the leg. Frank then kicked Scout in the crotch ("Ah, my Base!") and tried to stab him with the Chainsaw. Instead however, Scout acted fast and shotgunned the Chainsaw out of Franks hands, then aimed at Franks face. "Ha! Ya dead meat now!" He pulled the trigger...and realized he was out of ammo. "Wait, what the...oh, you've gotta be kiddin' me!"
Frank took this chance and pulled out one of his most powerful weapons, the Mega Buster, and shot the Scout into a wall. He then shot again, destroying the wall and seemingly killing the Scout. Frank was about to walk away when the Scout emerged from some dust, unharmed. Frank did another shot only for it to, once again, do nothing. "What the hell?" Frank said. Scout responded with "Oh, it's nothin'. Just a side effect from Bonk." He then ran up to Frank and punched him into the desk, destroying it. The effects of Bonk then ran out as Scout pulled out some Crit-A-Cola, then ran up to Frank. Before the reporter can react, The Scout hits him so hard he blows into pieces. "Homerun, baby!"
K.O!!!
The Scout grabbed back the Briefcase and Franks camera and walked away back to outside. When he did, however, he was greeted by a hoard of Zombies. "...well crap."
Results[]
Boomstick: Aw, the badass lost... :(
Wiz: This one was a decently close one, as both where tied in weaponry and skills. However, Scout was, first of all, much faster then Frank. He's never really dealt with anyone particularly fast, so Scout could catch him off by surprise with pure speed.
Boomstick: Scout was also slightly stronger then Frank, being able to defeat a Heavy by himself and send people flying using just a baseball Bat. Plus, he survives the amount of Soda in BONK.
Wiz: Finally, Scout has a combat advantage. While Frank has covered wars, he hasn't fought any. Meanwhile, the Scout has fought in battles that could be considered such, like against Graymann.
Boomstick: This fight headed West really fast.
Wiz: The winner is The Scout.
Next Time[]
No one is more badass...
"PLAY THE SEGA SATURN!"
Then these martial artists.
My name is Kung Fury.
KUNG FURY VS SEGATA SANSHIRO