Description[]
Two crazy, party-loving murderers shoot it out! Which gun-wielding psycho with a hatred of backstabbers and have an unhealthy love of physical violence will triumph in the end?
Interlude[]
Boomstick: Aah, violence. You wicked, sexy vixen!
Wizard: Either with a gun, blunt fists or a metal bat, there's no doubt that some people have a rather... unhealthy taste for dishing out pain.
Boomstick: Like The Scout, The Boston Menace.
Wizard: And Trevor Philips, the maniac gunman of Grand Theft Auto.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick...
Wizard: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!
The Scout[]
Wizard: Born in Boston, USA, a young boy named Jeremy grew up amongst seven older siblings.
Boomstick: Yeah, he was kinda like the poor, tiny puppy that shits on your floor and can't do anything useful.
Wizard: It didn't help much that he was also raised in the slums. Luckily for him and his siblings, they grew tough and became the toughest boys on the block.
Boomstick: They always loved to pick fights around town as a team. Only issue was that Jeremy's siblings were so big and tough that the fights always ended before he could get his licks in.
Wizard: His solution? He started excercising on a regular basis, running around the place to train his legs and get faster. And faster. And faster.
Boomstick: Until eventually, he got fast enough to beat his pack of mad dog siblings to the fray and grew a taste for dishing out pain!
Wizard. Deciding to put his skill to good use, he grew up to become a mercenary under the Mann brothers, hired to fight other mercenaries over a useless plot of land for some reason
Boomstick: Military STILL sounds like no fun, Wiz. Each mercenary is nicknames after their respective job; The Soldier, The Heavy, The Spy, etc. Jeremy was named... The Scout.
Wizard: Don't let the name fool you. The Scout is one of the deadliest mercenaries of Teufort, and he wouldn't have that reputaion without a handful of guns and weaponry.
Boomstick: Not even with his guns, The Scout somehow has the ability to jump once off the ground.. and then double jump again while in mid-air.
Wiz: He can use this double jump ability for extra mobility and comes in handy when trying to reach high places and dodge enemy fire. The Scout is also the fastest merc of the nine, and when combined with his double jumping, it gives him incredibly agility. He can also boost or increase his speed and mid-air jumps with certain weapons.
Boomstick: And weapons are something the Scout has no shortage of! Scout usually carries around the Scattergun, a shotgun that can somehow hold six shots- I STILL don't understand how that's possible - and is magically reloaded by pulling its lever. He also has the Winger Pistol for long-range accuracy, and somehow increases his jump height. The Shortstop Pistol seems to be a confusing mix of a pistol that fires shotgun shells, the Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol heals him every time he shoots someone with it and makes him immune to death by falling, and the Baby Face's Blaster can increase his already ridiculous running speed to 173% after he shoots someone with it. Somehow. Okay, back to shotguns!
Wizard: The Scout also has the Force-A-Nature, a powerful shotgun that, when fired in mid-air, pushes Scout further into the air as a sort of triple jump and can take out pretty much anyone caught in its path. The Soda Popper - basically the Force-A-Nature with a can of Crit-A-Cola attached to it - is yet another powerful shotgun that, when wielded in battle, somehow gives him the ability to jump 5 more times in mid-air.
Boomstick: What the f*ck is with this guy and jumping!? Was hopscotch his favorite game as a kid or something and he ended up playing it a bit too much?
Wizard: That...... actually seems likely given his strange arsenal. Speaking of strange, guns aren't the only thing Scout uses in battle.
Boomstick: Yep! Whenever he gets a bit too close to an opponent and needs to go melee, Scout carries a giant butcher knife called the Flying Guillotine that Scout can throw with amazing accuracy over long distances for a long-range stab. Aside from the throwing knife, Scout turns to his trusty buddies.... baseball bats. Yeah, you heard me, The Scout has a collection of basebll bats that he uses to bash people's head's in.
Wizard: These aren't just normal baseball bats, Boomstick. The Sandman comes with a baseball that, when launched by said bat at an opponent, stuns them temporarily and leaves them open to attack. The Boston Basher bat deals more damage, though if it misses Scout somehow hits himself and deals damage. The Atomizer doesn't have many special qualities, except that the Atomizer also gives Scout a third mid-air jump, though at the cost of some health. Similar to the Sandman, the Wrap Assassin also launches a ball, except that instead of stunning, the ball explodes on impact.
Boomstick: Soooo, he's a fanatic of hopscotch and baseball!? How many sports does this guy frickin' do!?
Wizard: Apparently enough that he also uses drinks in combat. No, not alcoholic drinks, drinks like the aforementioned Crit-A-Cola, a soda that gives all of Scout's already powerful attacks - long-range or melee - much more damage behind each blow. The Mad Milk can also extinguish flames, though it's said that the milk in it isn't the normal milk we drink...
Boomstick: Oh, God, don't tell me it's his sper--
Wizard:--AND it also heals him when he throws it onto a foe and damages said opponent, healing him by 60% of the total damage dealt to be precise. And finally, Scout's favorite drink is his Bonk! Atomic Punch, another soda brand that, when the Scout drinks it, gives him complete invulnerability for 8 seconds, though his firearms are rendered useless.
Boomstick: Not just that, but it makes him so fast he turns into a literal blur! As we said when Zoro fought Erza, that's close to 9,000 mph and higher! And no, we don't mean DBZ. So, it gives him invulnerability and super speed!
Wiz: Well, it's not like Scout needs Bonk! or any of his weapons for superhuman feats to begin with. He's strong enough to one-hit kill giant bears with one swing of a femur bone - and the femur is one of the strongest bones in the human body - and has fast enough to dodge bullets from sentries and other mercenaries "like they ain't even there". In fact, Scout can move at subsonic speeds of about 237 mph/ 106 meters per second for hours at a time without tiring. And that's without boosts like the Baby Face's Blaster!
Boomstick: He's tough enough to survive being the "rope" in a tug of war between Saxton Hale and the Heavy Weapons Guy, and with his baseball bats, he once even defeated the Heavy in close-quarters combat! For reference, the Heavy can easily wrestle giant bears bigger than the one the Scout OHKO'd! He's a master of dodging bullets and missiles headed his way, and can dodge the flailing tentacles of a mutant... bread... monster... thing. Yeeeaahh, that's still not any weirder saying it again.
Wiz: The Scout, despite being known for being the least durable merc, is tough enough to withstand getting struck by four missiles from the rocket-wielding Soldier. Specifically, they launched him across the entire map and crashing into the window of the Medic's office!
Boomstick: Speaking of getting launched, the Scout is even strong enough to send the Heavy and his 150 kg weapons flying 60 feet away in a Home Run bat swing! That's at least 2-4 tons of force! He's also pretty smart in how he uses his speed, being able to perform expert hit-and-run tactics like a pro! Is there anything that can stop this guy!?
Wizard: Well, The Scout is very reckless and will charge headfirst into battle on a whim, which for some reason hasn't got him killed yet. Intelligence definitely isn't his strong suit, as even though he's an expert in hit-and-run tactics, he's obviously no Einstein. Spy admitted that he's retarded at dating (respectable) women. In fact, during a lesson in which Spy tried to test Scout on his dating skills, he tried to seduce the girl (Spy) using a CHICKEN BUCKET.
Boomstick: It also doesn't help that Scout's also got an arrogance issue, considering he boldly taunts other deadly mercenaries like Soldier and Spy without a care in the world on a regular basis. Some of his other weapons have drawbacks, too, like how he can't drink Bonk! Atomic Punch again for 20 seconds or that he loses 10 health points whenever he triple jumps with the Atomizer.
Wizard: Still, it'd be a grave mistake to go up against the Scout without caution.
Boomstick: You got that right, Wiz! if you want a shot at beating the Scout, you're gonn have to catch him before he catches you! Considering his abilities, that's pretty damn hard to do!
Scout: Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brotha? I hurt people!
Trevor Philips[]
Wizard: Trevor Philips was raised in Canada as the only child under abusive parents and in a terrible neighborhoods. Yes. "neighborhoods". As in, multiple places. Five states, two countries, fourteen houses and 8 different fathers to be exact.
Boomstick: Damn, that sounds kinda like me! Was he drinking by age 7 and had a zombie pirate father too?
Wiz:..............................growing up, Trevor became indulged in a life of crime, growing to hate authority figures like police and getting involved in the weapons trade. In fact, by his own account, he literally stuck and forced a hockey stick up its owners anus and killed various animals... as a CHILD.
Boomstick: Man, that's a shitty childhood. No wonder he turned criminal! I'd have been pretty pissed off too if I grew up like that! He admits himself that he was actually pretty good at golf and could've gone professional, but since that sounded pretty boring - kinda like the military - Trevor chose the badass route in life and took to the streets as an expert criminal.
Wiz: At some point in his life, Trevor met Michael Townley (now Michael de Santa) and formed a partnership in crime with him, working together with him to perform huge heists and robberies. Eventually forming his own drug and weapons trade company, Trevor Philips Industries, Trevor officially took to a life of crime and became a full-fledged criminal, regularly scrapping with police and staging enormous robberies.
Boomstick: Because of this, however, almost everyone aside from his buddies Michael and Franklin are always trying to take him out. Luckily for ol' Trevor, he's got tons of weapons tucked safely away under his sleeves, ready for action!
Wizard: Trevor always carries an AK-47 Assault Rifle on him at all times, which carries 60 rounds and is highly accurate even at long-range. He has a Combat Machine Gun with a rate of fire of over 555 RPM, and a Carbine Rifle with incredible range. He has a .45 Pistol used for efficient accuracy and an Assault Shotgun that contains 32 shells that fire 240 RPM.
Boomstick: Trevor also has a Sawn-Off Shotgun that somehow holds 8 rounds and can one-hit kill pretty much everyone who gets too close to its short yet deadly range. He also has a Pump-Action Shotgun that only has 8 shells but is ridiculously powerful! However, this is where his tastes in weapons becomes destructive!
Wizard: Quite right, as Trevor also possesses a Grenade Launcher which holds 10 grenades and can bounce off walls to get the drop on unsuspecting victims. It has an impressive range and the grenades are strong enough to send people flying about 10 feet through the air!
Boomstick: He also has a f*cking gigantic minigun that fires 3,000 RPM and can destroy cars in seconds! It's heavy as hell and literally contains OVER NINE THOUSAAAANND- NINE-HUNDRED AND NINETY-NINE rounds!!! That's a shitload of bullets! Trevor also wields a giant missile launcher that can only hold one missile before reloading, but deals a massive amount of damage per shot! To top it all off, Trevor can also carry 25 sticky bombs at once that, once thrown, stick to wherever they landed and can even blow away nearby cars and trucks!
Wizard: In terms of short range, Trevor somehow got his hands on a Stun Gun that electrifies opponents and can set people on fire, though this results in severe draining of the battery. Trevor also carries a hatchet the apparently came from horror film and hack his way to victory.
Boomstick: Trevor is also quite handy with his trusty nightstick to beat people to death, though he is pretty good going fist to fist despite being a drunken psychopath.
Wizard: Speaking of psychotics, each GTA V character possesses a special ability, and Trevor is no different. Trevor has the ability "Red Mist", and is quite usefull.
Boomstick: What does it do? Well, it not only slightly slows down Trevor's perception of time, but it also grants him near invulnerability and increases the damage he dishes out all for 30 seconds!
Wizard: Well, it doesn't exactly make him invulnerable, it makes him nearly unable to die while still being able to feel pain like bullet wounds. It can be built up and extended by Trevor's increasing anger. In this state, like we mentioned, all of Trevor's attacks are increased in power and his perception of time slows down by a slight margin, making vehicles moving 40 mph seem to be going 12 mph instead.
Boomstick: Speaking of vehicles, Trevor also has a few! He's got a Canis Bodhi, a pickup truck that is pretty good at taking damage and being able to keep on going and driving off-road. He's also got a sweet Hod Rod Blazer capable of 60 mph speeds! He can easily shoot people with his guns while on these vehicles, and is suprisingly good at shooting while driving. Man, that's some sweet multi-tasking!
Wiz: On top of all this, Trevor even has his own Frogger helicopter that he somehow stole from the Federal Investigation Bureau. With it, Trevor can easily take to the skies and wreak havoc by tossing bombs and shooting his guns down, though being a civillian helicopter means that the Frogger doesn't have any missiles or giant machine guns or anything of the sort.
Boomstick: Which kinda sucks, but hey! Helicopter! At least he doesn't have to deal with traffic anymore!
Wizard: Trevor is an incredibly accomplished robber and law-breaker, being able to easily defeat trained military officers in hand-to-hand combat and even going up against Michael de Santa in a gunfight.
Boomstick: His missiles can shoot armored helicopters cleam outta the sky, and his accuracy is usually pinpoint! He's strong enough to push a 2 ton car over a cliff and into the ocean, and most of his explosives can blow up cars and trucks!
Wizard: Trevor is also an expert strategist, planning out numerous succesfull heists and predicting a few of his opponents. He's skilled enough to defeat dozens of trained gunmen and police officers at once, and his Hot Rod Blazer can easily hit 60+ mph!
Boomstick: In "Red Mist" mode, he can easily survive falls from flying airplanes and even tank shots from... well... a Rhino tank.
Wizard: Still, he's not without flaws. He can sometimes lose focus in battle, and will throw caution and strategy to the wind when pissed off.
Boomstick: He's also pretty arrogant, like taunting his opponents even after he's already killed them
Wizard: Still, going up against Trevor Philips will almost always result in an agonizing death.