| The Meg vs. Mosasaurus (Jurassic World) | |
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| Season 4, Episode 1 | |
| Air date | January 17, 2019 |
| Written by | I'm Lynda |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous Dudley Do-Right vs. Yosemite Sam |
Next Nyarlathotep vs. Q |
By Ishan a.k.a Shall-I
By Jioto576
The Meg vs. Mosasaurus (Jurassic World) is a What-If? Death Battle by I'm Lynda. It features the Megalodon from the 2018 movie, The Meg, and the Mosasaur from the 2015 movie, Jurassic World.
Description[]
A good fisherman always has stories of the “one that got away.” Indeed, “it was a monster!” Well, these are two monsters of the sea, and if you hook into them, you’ll be lucky to get away!
Interlude[]
Boomstick: Monster of the deep, they’re the worst sort. You don’t see them coming, until they scarf you down like the last Chicken McNugget in the box!
Wiz: Today we are bringing together two of the movies’ greatest sea monsters.
Boomstick: The first is the megalodon from the 2018 movie, The Meg.
Wiz: And the other is the mosasaurus from the 2015 movie, Jurassic World.
Boomstick: Just what happens when we bring these two mighty aquatic beasts together?
Wiz: I’m Wiz, and he’s Boomstick.
Boomstick: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
The Meg[]
Wiz: Megalodon, the name means “big tooth” in Latin, and it was the largest shark that ever existed. The megalodon lived from 23 to 2.6 million years ago, from the Early Miocene era to the late Pliocene, finally dying out when the Earth began to cool, sliding into the Quaternary Ice Age.
Boomstick: Boy, this is going to be all full of those funny words that you are so fond of, isn’t it?
Wiz: Yep, it sure is! Anyway, the megalodon was a fearsome predator, measuring up to 60 feet in length, and weighing in at not far beneath 75,000 lbs.
Boomstick: Which makes for a whole lot of fish sticks. For comparison, the Great White shark usually only grows to be about 20 feet max, weighing not much more than 4,200 lbs. Even the mighty Jaws, considered to have been a mutant among Great Whites was only about 25 feet long, and weighed no more than 6,000 lbs.
Wiz: Now, what Jaws was to great whites, the Meg was to megalodons. She was 75 feet long and likely weighed over 100,000 lbs.
Boomstick: But the Meg is not a mutant, of a common variety shark, instead, she lived in the Marianas Trench, a deep-sea ecosystem – ha, ha, see I know some big words as well – that was cut off from the rest of the ocean, and housing some species extinct everywhere else, including the megalodon.
Wiz: Unfortunately, when a group of scientists explored this special ecosystem, they unwittingly released at least two megalodons, a more normal sized specimen, perhaps a male, and the larger female, the Meg.
Boomstick: And, once released, the Meg began to cause havoc wherever it went, eating anything edible and even some things inedible.
Wiz: Sounds a bit like you, Boomstick.
Boomstick: Hey!
Wiz: Historically, the megalodon fed on large fish, sea turtles, and marine mammals, including large whales.
Boomstick: A favorite tactic of the megalodon was to swim deep, locate and stalk its prey, then rush up, and ram it, leaving the creature stunned and maybe even injured. Then, this king of sharks would rush in, and use its 276(!) razor-sharp teeth to tear it into bite-sized bits, which for a megalodon are actually pretty big chunks.
Wiz: And, to enhance its hunting ability, the megalodon was a pretty fast swimmer, being able to able to generate bursts of speed of up to 40 miles per hour!
Boomstick: So, basically, what you got here is a huge shark that can bite whales in half. It’s fast, and extremely dangerous. And just when you thought that it was safe to go back in the water!
Mosasaurus[]
Wiz: Before the rise of the great sharks, a different team of predators dominated the ocean, the marine reptiles known as mosasaurs. Evolving in the Early Cretaceous, 146 million years ago, they became the most dangerous things in the sea, only disappearing with the K-Pg Event of 66 million years ago.
Boomstick: That’s right, that’s when something hit the Earth, either a meteor, or a spaceship.
Wiz: A what?
Boomstick: At the time, the mosasaur grew to a max of about 50 feet, and weighed in at a good 30,000 lbs.
Wiz: But, when we watch the movie, Jurassic World, we can see their mosasaur easily take down an indominus rex, which was approximately 50 feet long. Comparing the size, we can find that the Jurassic World mosasaur was more likely 100 feet long, giving it a colossal weight of over 200,000 lbs.!
Boomstick: That makes it one heck of a large dinosaur!
Wiz: Ah, but the mosasaurus was not a dinosaur, but was instead a reptile, one perhaps distantly related to snakes and monitor lizards. It was probably endothermic, meaning that it generated its own heat.
Boomstick: This beast of a beast did not take bites out of its prey, but instead bit down with 40 to 50 sharp, conical teeth that it used to incapacitate its prey. Then, it would unhinge its jaw and swallow the thing whole, like a snake. It even had an extra set of teeth in the roof of its mouth that it used to keep anything from getting back out!
Wiz: Being warm-blooded, the mosasaur was probably a quicker thinker than its cold-blooded prey, allowing it to react quicker in a battle and thus gain an edge.
Boomstick: But, being a reptile means that the mosasaur was an air-breather, and would have to periodically return to the surface for a breath, this would have proved a weakness when dealing with any water-breathing opponent.
Wiz: But, the mosasaurus’s preferred habitat was probably in shallow seas, where it would lie in wait for creatures wading in the water or swimming by, not unlike a modern alligator or crocodile. In spite of its appearance, it would have been a fast swimmer, able to generate bursts of speed of up to 30 miles per hour.
Boomstick: But, this would be a real croc-from-Hell! Mess with it at your own peril!
Intermission[]
Wiz: And now a word about our sponsor. In 1979, that forward thinking brain-box, Harry Hiney purchased a dilapidated winery in Herculaneum, Missouri.
Boomstick: The Harry one had a dream, fine wine in flip top aluminum cans.
Wiz: So, he rejuvenated the winery, created an adjacent cannery, and started that world famous phenomenon, Hiney Wine!
Boomstick: Now, you can take your Hiney anywhere: to the beach, the demolition derby, or the shooting range.
Wiz: And, when the people around you look to see what you are drinking you can proudly show them your Hiney!
Boomstick: Remember, folks, if it’s at all convenient, drink responsibly...but drink!
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set; let’s end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: Grab a Hiney, because it’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!
DEATH BATTLE![]
Pre-Fight []
After being released from the Marianas Trench, the Meg found itself in an environment rich in prey. It feasted on large prey, and found no predators of a large enough size to threaten it.
However, with time, the whales and other large creatures cleared the area, leaving the Meg with no choice but to move on to richer hunting grounds.
The Meg swam along the currents, its senses reaching out, seeking for its next meal.
Off the coast of Isla Nublar, the great Mosasaur hunkered down in a bed of seaweed, using its keen senses to try to detect any prey in the nearby water.
After weeks of hunting, the large marine creatures had left the area, while the large land-based ones seemed to have learned to avoid the water. The Mosasaur was growing hungry, and knew that it would have to look for a new hunting ground.
The monster swam around the circumference of the island, hoping to find one last meal, but came up empty.
Warily it tasted the water, and selected a direction to travel. It didn’t like the open ocean, but it liked being hungry even less. Moving like a snake in water, the Mosasaur undulated off into deep water.
The Meg cruised through the water, every sense reaching out, when suddenly she smelled something in the water. The scent was unfamiliar, but then so many smells in this new environment were as well.
She moved towards the scent, and then detected the creature’s movement as well. She moved deeper, looking to spot the creature against the light descending from above.
Suddenly, she saw it! The creature moved in a strange, serpentine manner. And, it was huge.
The Meg had fought large creatures before, but there were few larger than her. This one was much larger.
When she finished the beast, she would eat handsomely off of its flesh. But she would be careful, very careful.
She moved underneath the monster, and suddenly turned up. She beat her tail as fast as she could, racing upward.
The Mosasaur undulated through the water towards where instinct told her that another island would be found.
She detected several schools of small fish, but experience had already taught her that she had neither the speed nor the maneuverability necessary to feast on such small prey.
Suddenly, her wonderfully acute hearing detected sounds of alarm from one of the schools, and then another.
Something was moving her way, and fast!
She twisted her body into a tight loop, angling downward as she searched for the source of the small fish’s panic.
Then, she spotted a very large fish charging up from the depths at her. The creature looked like the fish she had often been fed in the small pond she had originally been kept in, but this one was many times larger than them. Many times.
FIGHT! []
The Mosasaur dodged away from the speeding Meg, but at the last second, the Meg adjusted its course, and slammed into the long tail of the Mosasaur. Its teeth slid across the Mosasaur’s scales, slicing into the flesh, and drawing blood.
The Mosasaur turned back towards the island that had been its home for its entire life. It needed to find cover, and shallower waters, somewhere it could outmaneuver its enemy.
The Meg’s momentum had carried it towards the surface, and it moved away in a large loop as it looked for a new position to attack its prey from.
The Mosasaur took the opportunity to breach the surface, and grab a breath of fresh air. It then put on all the speed it could towards the island.
The Meg studied the Mosasaur’s movements, and found a moment in its gyrations when it would be looking away for the longest. When the next opportunity presented itself, the Meg charged towards the Mosasaur.
But the Mosasaur heard the monster shark coming, and turned at the last second. The Meg snapped its toothed jaws down, catching the end of the Mosasaur’s tail. The Mosasaur writhed in the water, trying to throw the Meg off, but the shark’s strong jaws would not let go.
The Mosasaur turned in on itself, and clamped its jaws down on the rear of the megalodon’s trunk. Now, it was the Meg that writhed in the jaws of its opponent!
It turned, and put all of its strength into as mighty of a dive as it could manage. The maneuver worked, and it snapped out of the Mosasaur’s mouth.
Both opponents moved off from each other, each being trailed by billowing clouds of red blood. The Meg swam deeper, while the Mosasaur surfaced for another quick gulp of air.
Lesser sea creatures moved rapidly out of the area, while sharks, smelling the blood in the water, began to cruise carefully around the fight.
The Mosasaur swam as rapidly as it could towards the safety of its island. Its tail was causing agony at every movement through the water. It cast it eyes up and down, left and right, looking for the predator that it knew was following.
Meanwhile, the Meg ran deep, and tracked its prey, deciding on its next move. Suddenly, it shot upward as fast as it could. It passed some twenty-five feet from the Mosasaur, who spun in her path, opening its jaws towards the shark. But, the shark was too far away, so the Mosasaur reversed her course, and resumed moving towards its island.
The Meg hit the surface of the ocean, and shot into the air. Then, it crashed back down, and began swimming down as fast as it could.
It was pointed straight at the Mosasaur, which moved evasively, but too late. The Meg’s mighty jaws closed on the right, front limb. It shook its giant head, sawing at the bones in the paddle-like arm, completely severing it.
The Mosasaur roared a bubbly, underwater scream of pain, and spun around, its jaws snapping at the shark. The Meg tried to maneuver down, when the reptile’s teeth closed on its tail. The Meg gave a mighty thrash, and ripped its tail out of the monster’s mouth.
The Mosasaur gyrated through the water as fast as it could, but it missing limb gave its movements a less graceful style.
The Meg closed in, aiming towards the Mosasaur’s right rear limb, when the reptile turned. The Meg turned sharply, and came around, catching the creature’s left front limb. It yanked and thrashed, severing this limb as well.
The Mosasaur bit onto the shark’s back, but it could not get a good grip on such a large target. Its teeth slid down the shark’s back, and off its tail.
The Mosasaur pointed its nose down, and began swimming towards the bottom, looking to find some sort of cover.
But, moving like a missile through the water, the Meg was on it. It grabbed onto the Mosasaur’s neck, and began biting. The Mosasaur thrashed and tried to throw its attacker off, but the shark’s grip was too strong. Finally, the gigantic reptile went still in the megalodon’s grip.
The Meg kept biting at the Mosasaur’s neck, finally severing the head completely away from the body.
K.O.! []
The Meg began feeding on the monstrous body of the prehistoric reptile, not even noticing the lesser sharks moving in to steal mouthfuls of flesh.
Results[]
Boomstick: Holy crap! That was a brutal fight.
Wiz: Yes, the two creatures were both apex predators, and more, they were huge specimens of their already huge species.
Boomstick: The Mosasaur’s advantages were that it was more maneuverable than the Meg, and it was a good deal larger.
Wiz: The Meg, on the other hand was a good deal faster than the Mosasaur, and its mouth and teeth were designed to take pieces off of an opponent. The Mosasaur’s mouth and teeth, on the other hand were designed to hold an opponent, and swallow it whole, not unlike the way that a snake does.
Boomstick: Unfortunately, the Meg was just too big for the Mosasaur to swallow, and its teeth could not do enough damage to kill the giant shark.
Wiz: Paleontological evidence suggests that when megalodons killed particularly large whales, they used the tactic of bighting off their flippers. This same tactic would work against a mosasaur, taking away its superior maneuverability.
Boomstick: And, finally, the Meg had lived its life preying on...well, whatever it was that it preyed on down there, while the Mosasaur lived its whole life in a cement enclosure, never having to face any sort of dangerous foe. As such, the Meg had a huge advantage when it came to experience in fighting.
Wiz: The Mosasaur was a formidable creature, but the Meg was just plain worse in just about every possible way. The winner is the Meg!
Boomstick: Hey Wiz! I’ve got a real craving for sushi. What do you say we head over to the Hochhauser Sushi Bar?
Wiz: Sure, that sounds good.
Next Time[]
All knowing? All powerful? They may both be, but is one more powerful than the other? Find out when we present, Nyarlathotep vs. Q!
Trivia[]
- The Mosasaurus usually dwelt in shallow waters, hiding in the mud or among foliage, feeding on targets of opportunity not unlike a modern alligator or crocodile. What would have happened if these two monsters had encountered each other in shallow water? In that scenario, the mosasaur would have had a real advantage over the Meg. However, being such a large, deep-water predator, the Meg probably would not have gone into such shallow waters, and even if it did, since the mosasaurus preyed on creatures that it could swallow whole, it probably would have avoided an encounter with such a large fish. In that scenario, the mosasaur would have stayed hidden, and no fight would have occurred. Therefore, I forced a deep-water encounter instead.
- Death rolls – It is unknown if the Mosasaurus performed a death roll, in the way that modern crocodyliform creatures do. The Mosasaurus seems to be more closely related to modern aquatic snakes and monitor lizards, than to modern alligators and crocodiles. As such, I did not include it in the creature’s arsenal.
- The relative sizes of the two creatures in question are hard to be certain of. In both movies, the creatures seem to vary in size from one scene to the next. In The Meg, that may be because two megalodons are being presented, one (probably a male) is much smaller than the other. As such, I had to go with the generally accepted sizes for both of them.
- Hearing sounds of alarm from schools of fish – In the 1980s, the Swedish military detected sounds, which they believed to have been made by Soviet submarines. Later it was determined that the sounds were produced by schools of Herring releasing gas when alarmed – in effect, farting. Sine the Mosasaurus is believed to have had excellent hearing, I figured that if the Swedish military could detect the “farts,” so could the Mosasaurus.
For more information on these fish farts, see: https://www.iflscience.com/for-15-years-sweden-thought-enemy-submarines-were-invading-its-territory-it-turned-out-to-be-herring-farts-57782