This is a What-If? Death Battle between The Lich from Adventure Time and HIM from the PowerPuff Girls
The Lich vs. HIM (Adventure Time vs. Powerpuff Girls) | |
---|---|
Season 1, Episode 9 | |
Vital statistics
| |
Air date | 7/27/2021 |
Written by | RohgeKiller |
Directed by | RohgeKiller |
Episode guide
| |
Previous | Next |
Trigon vs. Unicron | Akuma vs. Raiden |
Prelude[]
Wiz: It's no surprise that the most memorable of villains usually come from places you’d least expect. Most notably, the twisted and foul creatures that lurk within seemingly innocent children's cartoons.
Boomstick: Well you see, Wiz, back in the day before everyone became sensitive babies for some reason, cartoon villains were allowed to be as badass as those from more, adult oriented shows. Vilgax, Frieza, that weird triangle thing from Gravity Falls, the works… So, you think we gave the reader enough of a hint or should we continue to dogpile them with more examples?
Wiz: The Lich. The cosmic, undead entity from Adventure Time.
Boomstick: And HIM. The tutu wearing, red faced demon from The PowerPuff Girls.
Wiz: I’m the Wizard and he’s Boomstick. And today we’re pitting these two chaotic creatures from parts unknown against one another to find out who would win a Death Battle!
The LICH[]
Boomstick: I'm starting to think that the nicer a place looks, the more likely you are to run into something so vile that it makes my ex-wife look like a clueless pigeon.
Wiz: The diverse land of OOO is no stranger to adversity. Despite its seemingly joyous cities and overly friendly people, it harbors many dark and terrible atrocities throughout its history. Giant cyclops, why-wolves, a murder happy fire kingdom, a jealous Ice King and many more. For every generation, there has been its hero and its villain, but only one has managed to become the bane of multiple generations.
Boomstick: Forget the Ice King, Me-Mow, Tiffany... they're all chumps compared to the single greatest threat that OOO has ever faced. The Lich!
Background[]
- Origin: Adventure Time, Season 1-Episode 25 ‘’His Hero’’
- The Ceaseless Wheel, The Last Scholar of GOLB, The King of Ruin
- Height: Varies. 15 or so feet.
- Weight: Unknown. Varies
- Age: Primordial, Older than Time
- Was once turned into a giant baby
Boomstick: This nasty looking fellow, ripped straight from the Black Cauldron is more than just the greatest threat to OOO, but he might as well be the most dangerous being in the galaxy next to that giant red baby that eats worlds. The greatest heroes of multiple generations couldn’t put a stop to this monster.
Wiz: Well as you may have already guessed with their shared history of chaos and death, The Lich is actually a follower or scholar of GOLB. The last one in fact. Though even his relationship with GOLB is still a mystery, but what we do know is that The Lich is an entity of pure death: seeking to destroy all life in not just his universe, but all of them. And he’s come pretty close.
Boomstick: But apparently he’s never heard of the power of friendship or love or whatever Finn uses to somehow defeat him ever time. Yikes, imagining having that on your resume. ‘Oh, you’re an undead, cosmic ghost of death… that's cool and all, but you got beat by a 13 year old.’ Even the 60s legion of doom would say that's pretty sad.
Powers and Abilities[]
- Immortality
- Fear Manipulation
- Time Stop
- Absorption
- Regeneration
- Sleep Manipulation
- Size Manipulation,
- Transmutation Resistance
- Possession and Mind Manipulation
- Telepathy and Telekinesis
- Life and Death Manipulation
- Fire Manipulation
- Perception Manipulation
- Necromancy
- Intangibility
Wiz: Don’t discount him yet, Boomstick. The ceaseless wheel is easily one of the most persistent threats that Finn and Jake have ever faced. For starters, he’s proficient in all manner of dark magic: Pyrokinesis, Transmutation, Soul drain, Possession, Regeneration, Necromancy, Soul Manipulation and even Energy manipulation. But his most deadly technique is his Death Breath, which targets a persons very soul. Just one whiff and anything near him dissolves into dust.
Boomstick: He’s clocked in at least Mach 5000+ when you compare him to Ice King and Marceline, which isn’t unrealistic seeing as Marcie’s father, Hunson Abadeer, credits skeleton face as his only rival. But where he really shines is his ability to fuck with ones mind. He can project images of death and chaos, make people feel cold and alone, or even drive people to complete insanity. I guess that would happen if you were forced to see what every edgy teenager thinks about on a daily basis.
Wiz: His magical abilities also grant him some unique utilities, such as having complete intangibility and biological manipulation. During the Elementals arc, in which every character was transformed into some form of element, The Lich, who was Sweet P. at the time, was one of the only characters unaffected by the event. Speaking of, even when he was turned into a baby, the Lich could still use his cosmic powers to project memories and fear upon his victims.
Strength[]
- According to Hunson Abadeer, The Lich is his only true rival
- Can contend with Finn and Fern
- Fought Billy, who once fought a bear the size of a small mountain
- Comparable to Orgalorg, who could destroy planets
- Was the Catalyst Comet that killed the dinosaurs
Durability[]
- Is nearly impossible to kill
- His soul allows him to possess others
- His ‘echo’ activates if he’s defeated beyond repair
- As Billy, took a blast from a Gumball Guardian
- Comparable to the other Citadel Monsters
- Witnessed the Big Bang that created the Universe
- Since he existed before creation
Speed[]
- Traveled across space as a Comet
- Regularly fought and contended with Finn and Jake
- Should compare to Ice King and Flame Princess
Intelligence[]
- Every Lich in every timeline is connected through ‘the mind’
- A master of manipulation
Boomstick: He’s not just cosmic, he’s practically immortal. He’s gotta be millions of years old since it's implied he’s been around since before time even existed, and before all that, there were just monsters like Orgalorg, who was called the breaker of worlds. Heck, Lich has probably destroyed a few worlds, or at least come close, like when he was the literal comet that destroyed the dinosaurs.
Wiz: Since this is supposed to be earth, we’ll just use the same calculations from our own KT extinction event, which puts its energy output at 1.2–58 yottajoules.
Boomstick: That's around 100 billion Hiroshima bombs all dropping in one place, at the same time. And if he hadn’t been defeated by Billy, the guy who fought an evil ocean, he likely would have destroyed all of OOO. If what P.B says holds any water to it.
Wiz: With a single word, he can make you fall asleep, drop your weapon and give you a feeling of complete and utter loss. He’s held off Jake who can casually break stone bricks, even at his normal size, and overpowered Finn, who hurled the Evil Monster into a crevice the size of a small building.
Boomstick: But none of that would’ve been possible if it wasn’t for his complete and utter unwillingness to die. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times you destroy his body, he’ll come back in one shape or another, as a person or a ghost or a literal hand. I suppose it would take a lot considering he did crash into earth with enough force to cause an entire extinction level event.
Wiz: Not to mention that he would have at least witnessed the Big Bang that created the universe, since he was around long beforehand, which is estimated to have heated the universe to 1000 trillion degrees Celsius in a fraction of a second. And to prove how hard to kill he actually is: it took an object classified as ‘the maid’, which erases ‘mistakes’ from timelines, to permanently destroy the Lich in the farmworld. This implies that unless you are capable of erasing The Lich entirely, he will return in one form or another, as every other option used against him doesn’t seem to work.
Feats[]
- Came into existence, even after Prismo wished he never existed. (farmworld)
- Was unaffected by Post Elemental Bubblegum
- Wiped out the Dinosaurs
- Escaped and razed the Citadel, a multi-dimensional prison for the worst offenders in the universe
- Possessed (and killed) Billy and New Death
- Witnessed/Partially withstood the explosion caused by the Big Bang
- Outsmarted Finn and Jake numerous times
- Has yet to actually be killed, permanently
- Even though he appears in the dead world, he doesn’t change his previous appearance like Finn or Mr. Fox, suggesting that he simply isn’t dead.
Faults[]
- Overly arrogant and spiteful of all life
- Was reduced to a hand by Finn
- Was initially defeated by Billy
- Power that grants life can harm him
- Has failed numerous times to end all life
- Even after puppeteering New Death, he was still unable to destroy all life
Boomstick: But if you’re ok with just buying time, then you’ve got plenty of options. He’s not as used to fighting physically as some of the other villains in the show, and prefers ranged attacks over anything else. The Lich’s body, while tough, can be destroyed by most conventional means and can even be imprisoned. It's his spirit that's hard to kill as he’ll just continue to possess bodies until he achieves his ultimate goal of destroying all life in the universe.
Wiz: It seems that OOO is just destined to endure the wrath of the Last Scholar of GOLB. For even Death himself is powerless against his all encompassing evil.
''You are strong, child. But I am beyond strength. I am the end. And I have come for you, Finn.''-The Lich to Finn
HIM[]
Wiz: If you’re looking for a quiet retreat with pleasant, if sometimes clueless people, then the bustling city of Townsville might just be that place.
Boomstick: Stupid name. ‘Ville’ in French means ‘Town’ so that means the actual name is ‘’Towns-Town.’’ Ok...sure. At that rate you’re just asking for someone to destroy you. Good thing they got those sugar happy, super saiyan girls to protect them.
Wiz: The PowerPuff Girls are known for their upbeat, childish nature and acts of courage, keeping the 'town' safe from all manner of threats. But nothing is ever as simple as it seems, and this city is home to one of the most dastardly, disturbing villains in any media ever. A monster so twisted and vile that no one dares to say his real name. Ladies and Boomstick, I present to you, HIM!
Boomstick: Who?
Wiz: HIM.
Boomstick: Who’s he?
Wiz: We’re not doing this.
Background[]
- Origin: PPG, Season 1, Episode 3a, ‘’Octi Evil’’
- The Evilest of Evils, The Cruelest of Cruel, King of Darkness
- Height: Varies.
- Weight: Unknown
- Age: Unknown
- If the Devil overdosed on Ecstasy
Boomstick: So, let me get this straight. The greatest threat to the PowerPuff Girls, the same ones who can throw buildings and fly to the sun and back in less than a minute… is a tutu wearing, satan cosplayer who talks like Tiny Tim?
Wiz: Don’t be mistaken, Boomstick. HIM, or His Infernal Majesty, is no mere man playing dress-up. This immoral, immortal being not only spreads discord wherever he lies, feeds off of the negativity of the citizens of Townsville, and watches over it and the girls on a daily basis. Always plotting to rid the people of their hopes and dreams in order to conquer the world.
Powers and Abilities[]
- Immortality
- Pocket Dimension Creation
- Telekinesis
- Size Manipulation
- Mind Control/Possession
- Shapeshifting,
- Acid, Fire, Ice, Wind Manipulation
- Energy Projection
- Dream Manipulation
- Life and Death Manipulation
- Weather Manipulation
- Flight
- Teleportation
- Resurrection
- Reality Warping to the Max
- Transmutation
Boomstick: I suppose you’d have to be pretty powerful to stand a chance against the girls, and be so vile that even Mojo-Jojo refers to you as ‘sir’. And what better way to do that than to pretty much be the Freddy Krueger of animated cartoons. HIM can appear pretty much anywhere in any form he chooses and is somewhat omniscient, always knowing where the girls and other characters are, even when he’s miles away.
Wiz: When he does decide to remove the gloves, so to speak, HIM uses a variety of magical abilities: Acid Breath, Transmutation, Mind Control, Telekinesis, Shapeshifting, Life Manipulation and Weather Control are only a fraction of the power HIM wields, and much of it is still unknown. What we do know is that his power derives from negativity: the more he absorbs, the more powerful he becomes, which puts HIM on a level far greater than any other villain in the series, including Mojo-Jojo, who is one of the few characters to match all 3 of the girls physically.
Boomstick: Mojo also survived being hit with his own death ray which, as you might have guessed, was supposed to destroy those meddling kids, and their dog… if they had one.
Wiz: HIMs is also one of the deadliest reality-warpers in all of fiction: He can grant life to inanimate objects, resurrect the Rowdyruff Boys, made Bubbles chalk world come to life, create doppelgangers, and fashioned his own pocket dimension known as the Chaos Realm. This is most likely where he resides and plots his more devious plans.
Strength[]
- Should be superior to Blossom, who once lifted a mountain
- Comparable to a Chemically Enhanced Mojo-Jojo
- Pushed the earth back into its natural orbit and moved saturn's rings
- Using his reality warping
- Usually doesn’t get physical
Durability[]
- Is said to be unkillable, at least by conventional means
- Tanks beatings from the girls
- The more negative emotions he absorbs, the stronger he becomes
- Negates most if not all pain with his reality warping hax
- More durable than Mojo-Jojo, who survived a blast from his own Death Ray
Speed[]
- Can teleport between multiple places instantly
- Regularly keeps up with all three of the PPG
- Each are easily faster than light
- Bubbles once flew around the earth in 4 seconds
Intelligence[]
- Somewhat omnipotent, as he can view events from his lair.
- Gifted talker and deceiver
- Has struck one way deals with the PPGs on a few occasions
Boomstick: Like the one where he manipulated Bliss, the 4th powerpuff girl that nobody remembers, and used their combined power to pull Saturn's rings all the way from across the solar system to crash into the earth. Why he needed Bliss to do this, I have no idea, considering he pushed the EARTH away from the SUN on his own!
Wiz: For context: HIM hypnotized some unknown scientists to use the Cosmic Singularity Degenerator to launch the Earth into the Sun. After Mojo convinced him that it was a terrible idea since they would all die, he reversed its effects with just a flick of his wrist. Taking in the mass of the earth and the acceleration needed to move the planet away from the Suns orbit (2.27 x 1011 N) it would take a force of 227 billion newtons.
Boomstick: And he didn't seem to have a problem with just letting that happen, so either he would have just teleported to his dimension, or was just confident enough that he'd survive. In terms of speed, all 3 of the girls can break the sound barrier on a regular basis, but given their history of flying from earth to space in a matter of a few seconds, it's not a shock they can go faster than light. For specifics, Bubbles once circled the entire earth in 4 seconds, and Buttercup beat both of her sisters in a legit race. Meaning they all have faster than light speed capabilities, and HIM has tagged and even stopped them in their tracks in the past.
Feats[]
- Easily the deadliest foe the PPGs have ever faced
- Created his own pocket dimension, the Chaos Realm, where everything is random.
- Withstood multiple beatings from the girls and showed no fatigue
- Made Bubbles entire chalk/drawing world come into existence
- When part of the Beat-Alls, they initially defeated the Girls
- In the Speed Demon Timeline, he killed all the other villains, including Mojo-Jojo, Princess Morbucks
- Sped up Saturn's rotation and sent it towards Earth
- Enforced his will on every citizen of Townsville at once
- Reversed the effects of the Cosmic Singularity Degenerator
- He used Telekinesis to move the Earth back into its normal orbit, with a flick of his wrist
Faults[]
- Rarely if ever gets physical
- Is more concerned with creating general chaos than actually killing anyone
- Can still be physically defeated
- Has been outsmarted or convinced to forgo his plans
- Can only fuse with people who are either weak willed, or give their permission
- Was once erased from existence by the Gnome
Boomstick: With immortality and all that power at his disposal, you’d think he’d just wipe out the entire world in the blink of an eye. Though maybe his defeats have less to do with the girls, and more to do with the fact that he isn't very consistent. Whenever HIM does show up its usually just to be a nuisance, and he doesn’t get all that physical. He’d much rather mess with people's emotions or cast illusions than actually get his claws dirty.
Wiz: By his own admission, HIM is immortal and can’t be killed, though he can certainly be beaten to a pulp, and his control over the dream world can be broken if his victims fight back well enough, or they just will themselves out of it. Even the people he manages to possess can break free through, you guessed it, the power of love.
Boomstick: I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure about this kid friendly version of the red-faced demon from insidious. But after this, I think I'll be sticking a little bit closer to my guns. Don't need that guy messing with my already screwed up dreams.
''Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go AND DESTROY THE WORLD!''-HIM to Bubbles.
Pre-Battle[]
To anyone who’d previously visited the quant city of Townsville, they probably wouldn’t remember there being much to behold aside from the occasional squabble between the city's protectors and the more monstrous citizens. It was almost tradition that something would go wrong for 11 minutes before wrapping up in the last few seconds or so.
But even if you’d never been there before, you’d still have to be as dumb as the city’s mayor to not realize that something was wrong.
From the abandoned streets to the buildings aligned with shattered glass and torn foundations, or the utter lack of joy that normally accompanied the schoolhouse. The people, if you could find them, were what could best be described as ‘clinical zombies’. All of them have been stripped of their hope, their dignity, even the color of their skin had been reduced to a pale gray due to a lack of sunshine.
Said lack of vitamin D. was just one of the many side effects of having a near sunless sky, blanketed by dark red and black clouds. Spreading for miles with no end in sight.
With the near, deafening silence that permeated the town like a bad odor, you’d be forgiven if you suddenly shot to your feet and bolted the moment you heard the sounds of lightning fast blows and batters. So powerful and devastating that they shook the very foundations around them… and then they suddenly stopped.
And everything was even more eerily quiet than normal...
‘’Are you Finished?" An effeminate, nautical and taunting timbre came. Eerie in not just its tone alone, but the way it echoed off invisible walls like an 8D audio player.
The haunting voice coming from what could best be described as a ‘kid-friendly’ version of the devil himself. Skin as crimson as the sky, large lobster-like claws, pointed ears, a hooked nose and a long, curled beard. Complete with a red jacket and pink tutu that screamed androgynous. Not that it mattered to the girls that floated above him.
The Powerpuff Girls, who are now mortally exhausted, breathing heavier than ever, stood over an unmoving HIM. A long moment passed before he raised his head and smiled wickedly. If there was any damage from the beating he’d just suffered at the hands of the angered children, he wasn’t showing it.
‘’No, but you are!’’ Said the defiant Buttercup before her panting sister, Blossom, interjected.
‘’Don’t you know…you can never beat us!’’ She claimed. Looking upon the incarnation of pure evil and all the destruction caused in his name. The entirety of their home, their world, had been corrupted in their seemingly brief absence. And yet in all of 50 years, HIM finally had his chance and he took it and ran. A world defenseless without the Girls forever belongs to HIM by default. Every soul was his to meddle, and everyone was his to enslave. And he wasn't about to waste time on ceremony.
He'd already won after all.
‘’Beat you? But, girls, don’t you see?’’ HIMs eyes glowing as he stands, claws open as he leaped into the air. Proclaiming ‘’I’ve already won!’’ and laughing as the corrupted townsfolk watched on. His form glowing with infernal energies. His magnum-opus would finally be fulfilled as he called upon his true power to rid the world of those meddling little brats once and for all.
It was as his laughter reached its highest point that something appeared in the sky. A comet of sorts. Small at first but its size grew as it drew closer and closer, breaking through the red skyline a drop of oil in a glass of water. And just like that, its bright green coloration stuck out like a sore thumb amidst the crimson sky. The Girls were too busy waiting for HIM to make his next move to notice, however.
As it broke through the atmosphere, sending shockwaves in all directions, HIM ceased his laughter and turned to face the incoming meteorite. Noticing its peculiar shape and the way it seemed to burn, forming a strange horned visage. Yearning for a swift destruction.
Their destruction.
As the object impacted, HIM could only watch as the city he’d long to control for so many years was wiped out in a blinding flash of light. The blast left not only a massive crater on the earth's surface, razing anyone within its radius, but sent the PPGs flying for the stratosphere. Disappearing behind the red mist of the clouds, their screams fading away in the distance.
Whatever was left from the razing would soon be turned to ash as lightning fast flames erupted from the crater, spewing out and enveloping the surrounding area. Clashing with the overall scarlet hue of the rest of the world, and making everything look like an early Van Gogh painting.
A nasty sneer on the face of HIM as he landed at the edge of the flames, his claws clicking in anger before holding one out to push the flames back. His usual playfulness had evaporated in less than a minute as whatever decided to crash his victory speech put him in a sour mood. Sensing the power within the green comet, ‘his infernal majesty’s’ eyes glowed red to meet the golden yellow orbs that pierced the flames.
Rising from the unnatural flames was something unheard of by this world's standards. A large pair of socket-less orbs for eyes accompanied a crowned head, and a horn and a half. This remarkably skeletal monster in ragged and torn robes, flayed skin, and a wicked grin was known as The Lich. The last scholar of GOLB.
And he stood face to face, tooth to tooth with the King of Darkness.
''How DARE you interrupt my moment of triumph!'' HIM barked, his voice going from shrill to pure darkness within seconds. Staring down the skeletal beast, who muttered in an unknown language as wind whipped at the flames. Mixing with the red smoke to create a vibrant yellow in the center of what would be their battlefield. ''This world belongs to ME now! So get going, or I'll SPLIT you into hundreds of itty, bitty pieces!''
HIMs threats were answered with a crack of the Lich's neck as he faced down his devilish opponent, hands ablaze. His voice, much like HIMs, seemed to echo off invisible barriers as he declared, ''It has been some time since I have been entertained. So, come, amuse me, jester!''
Part 1: Kings of the Apocalypse[]
With a scream of pure malice, the King of Darkness reeled back before firing a blast of red energy from his claws, aiming for the Lich’s skull. This action was easily predicted by the scholar, as he used his pyrokinesis to create a wall of fire between him and the blast before hurling the unnatural flames towards HIM. The red devil barely reacted, if not at all as he simply walked through the flames with a wicked smile.
Floating in the air before flying towards the Lich with his claws raised, swinging at a staggering velocity that would have crushed his opponent had he not phased through the attack, just as HIM did seconds earlier. Having flown through the Lich’s body, HIM turned just in time to avoid another blast of hellish flame. Weaving around the blaze and retaliating with his paralyzing eye beams.
This time the Lich was caught off guard and temporarily knocked back, though looking no less fit for combat as he too took to the sky. His feet erupted like the end of a rocket as he lunged towards the devil with fists aflame.
HIM attempted to intercept the cosmic entity with another eye blast, which bounced off a green barrier put up by said entity just before he reached him. With reflexes unthinkable for something so bony, the Scholar clocked HIM in his perfect teeth, grabbed him and then discharged a wave of life draining energy. Sending HIM into a tailspin before he used the momentum and caught himself in the air, his eyes glowing bright.
‘’Oh, I think I might enjoy this!” HIM said nonchalantly while avoiding another blast from the slightly larger demon. Clicking his claws, HIM lifted a large piece of rubble with his telekinesis and hurled it at foe, who once again phased through it.
‘’Is that all?’’ The Ceaseless Wheel asked prematurely as HIM continued to laugh. Rushing the bulkier Lich as claw met bone, locking the two in a spiral of red and green that lit up the sky like a solar eclipse. Soaring through the air as they struggled to overpower the other in a deadly game of chicken. Daring the other let go.
As it seemed like the wheel was turning against HIM, due to being slightly smaller than his opponent, his coy smile returned as he simply grew. His size now equaling that of the Lich, and his strength increasing. In the back of his mind, the devil knew he could just overpower his cosmic foe immediately, but where was the fun in that?
Slowly but surely, the Lich felt himself being overpowered as his body of bone and cloth began to tear. The endogenous HIM noticed and after a decisive swipe of his claw, he dug his other straight into the Lich’s chest. Black liquid spewing from the wound.
His Majesty’s grin only widened as he wrapped his claw around the skull of the Lich, slowly applying the force necessary to crush it. The Wheel, however, barely reacted even as his ‘blood’ ran dry, as he slipped his fingers between HIMs claws and pulled it apart. HIM fought back a scowl as he noticed his hand becoming slightly less saturated as the black goo that spewed from the Lich began enveloping his arms.
The Scholar laughed as he wrapped his bony fingers around HIMs face and pulled him closer, looking deep into his soul as he attempted to absorb his body as he’d done to so many others. Puffing out smoke as black as tar oil that wrapped around HIMs head, laughing all the while.
Seeing his vision go black for just a moment, HIM stunned his foe with another optic blast before kicking him away. Numerous spikes sprouted from all over HIMs body before shooting out like a hailstorm, instantly demolishing the rubble below them and piercing the Lich’s form, forcing him to the ground with a sickening crack. The Evilest of Evils followed up with a comically large spike, tipped with multiple smaller ones, hurling it at the unmoving Lich with a repentless laugh. The spike cracked the ground as it collided, uprooting the soil in a glorious explosion of dirt of sand.
Below the rubble, just out of sight was a puddle of thick goo that slithered out and around the debris. Reforming into the King of Ruin. Looking up at HIM with the same blank stare that he arrived with, yet you could just feel the utter disdain he held. He hadn’t expected something so childish to get in his way.
‘’How amusing.’’ HIM said, rubbing the end of his pointed beard. Contemplating his next move as his opponent put himself back together, staring daggers into his eyes from below. His Majesty could feel the effects of being in this, Lich’s presence. It was something he wasn’t entirely familiar with, like death itself was slowing breathing down his neck.
But what did he care? He was having fun.
But the fun could only last so long. The Lich didn't go out of his way to make merry. He wanted nothing less than to personally see the destruction of all sentient life, be it man or devil. ''You've managed to stave off the end...'' The Wheel chuckled, his bones cracking into place with sickening snaps as HIM descended to a more even height. ''But its going to take more than what your mortal form is capable of.'' He stated as if HIM was nothing more than a mere child, which seemingly struck a nerve.
''Mortal?'' HIM replied, sounding almost hurt whilst floating in an upright sitting position. ''How dare you compare to those lowly little creatures. Living their sad, droning lives, pretending that everything revolves around them.'' He chuckled. Descending further until he was on the ground once more, standing mere feet from the deathless king. Putting his hands behind his back, almost testing the Lich into attacking him while he continued. ''Its almost sad. But you and I might not be so different from one another.''
The Lich didn't respond verbally, but did lower his burning hands slightly. Chuckling to himself as if to say 'Pray tell?' while the Devil carried on. All the while keeping his sinister smile on full display. ''We're both worth so much more than any feeble human, and yet neither of us taken seriously. Perhaps we could change a few minds if we worked together.'' The red faced demon floated around the still Lich like a curious fly as he spoke, ending up just inches from his crowned skull. ''And together, we could rule over their little lives as twin kings of chaos. How does that sound?''
With HIMs proposal on the table, he then held out his claw for what would no doubt be an unholy handshake should the Lich so accept it. Seconds later and the flames quickly died out and all was quiet for a moment or too before the Lich's lipless mouth rose with a light chuckle that slowly amplified into horrific laughter. Seemingly accepting HIMs offer as he slowly rose his hand to shake with the devil himself, who couldn't help but join the cosmic spirit in the hysterics. Their combined tones of high and low reverberating off the earth itself. It was unbelievable. The two shared a laugh and it didn't seem like it was ever going to end.
Until it did when the Lich's hand shot out and grabbed HIM by the throat. Catching HIM off guard for a moment as the Ceaseless Wheel halted his own laughter.
''You're even more foolish than I thought, King Jester!'' Growled the Lich. Seemingly offended by HIMs offer and stood defiant. His lipless mouth pouring out more of that black smoke as he attempted to absorb HIMs power, as evident by the dark green hue that slowly spread up his arms and onto HIMs body. The Devils vision going black once again as he felt the cold radiate off his attackers body. ''I'm not interested in ruling over these pathetic, corporeal minds. I am the Ceaseless Wheel. I am Doom!''
The Infernal Majesty shivered slightly before snapping out of the Lich's trance, grabbing onto the horned head of his foe and locking their heads close together. '’Oh well. Can’t convince them all.’’ He said, his own red mist flying from his form and into the Lich's, attempting to peer into the Lich's mind while his foe did the same. A psychological battle of the most vile of sorts was taking place all within a matter of moments. Their respective auras burning the surrounding landscape in a beautifully destructive shade of green and red.
‘’I guess I’ll just have to BREAK YOUR SOUL!’’ Laughed the King of Darkness as everything spiraled out like the end of a Looney Tunes short. Culminating in the brightest flash of light before it was condensed, disappearing into the void of unending, pitch darkness.
Leaving the Kings of Chaos and Darkness in a battle of wills where only one will survive.
Part 2: How do you kill what refuses to die?[]
By the time everything came back into existence, neither entity was grappling the other as the Lich, having tried and seemingly failed to enter his opponents mind, was simply left to drift around. While HIM remained in his usual attire, a bit farther off in the distance. His smile is ever more unsettling as he himself floats on a red cloud.
This ‘world’ if you could call it that, was like one endless, gradient void of red, green and black. As if someone had put up one large green screen, set a color filter and an endless animation of polka dots and sparkles in the background. Occasionally, images of war, famine and ruin would encompass the area. And everything else was simply bizarre. Everything from zoo animals to famous buildings to random food items. Virtually everything including the kitchen sink could be found here, amongst the chaos as HIM laughed. Transmuting a nearby rhino into a slice of pizza because… what did he care?
‘’Where have you brought us, clown?’’ The King of Ruin asks, echoing throughout the rather quiet realm.
‘’When, where and why have no place in a world without order. Its chaotic at best, and HELLISH at worst.’’ The devil said to a tune only he knew. His claws snapping shut as he suddenly disappeared and reappeared behind the Lich. Whispering ‘’Welcome to my Chaos Realm.’’ before grabbing the Lich and spewing out his acidic breath, launching him into a misplaced vat that filled with more boiling acid that turned black once making contact with the Lich's form.
‘’I hope you had your fun, because here…’’ continues the devil as he turns the tub into a black coffin, complete with a comedic set of horns. ‘’...your soul belongs to ME!’’ He growled before pausing, hearing cracks forming from the casket as the Lich bursts from his prison in a blaze of greenish fire, more annoyed than anything else. Even as the acid burned away much of his cloth.
Before he could even react, HIM fired a powerful red beam from his claws, sending his foe flying before appearing behind him to kick him in another direction. In this endless void, it didn’t matter where you went, The King of Darkness was everywhere. As the Lich was blasted through multiple floating obstacles, including a portrait of HIM with the other villains of his world (go figure) he suddenly stopped HIM telekinetically grabbed him mid-flight.
"I've enjoyed clubbing with you, Lichy..." echoes that feminine voice. Lich soon found himself before HIM, who spread his arms and suddenly the Lich found himself without any arms or legs. ‘’...But there's some little girls that need disciplining, and I can’t afford to keep them waiting.’’ He said before closing his claws around Lich’s head, crushing it into pieces and sending his soul free from its mortal shell.
‘’Now, come to me!’’ His Majesty commanded, reaching out to grab his foe's misty soul. But just as it reached him, the mist wrapped around HIMs arm, much to his confusion, spiraling around his body before flying towards the nearest soul it could find. In this case, a random kangaroo that floated amongst the void. The mist entered the creature, turning it gray and lifeless before the Lich burst from its form. His fists ablaze with a darker, colorless fire as he looked up at the puzzled HIM, whose mouth lit up in flame before unleashing that unholy fire upon his foe. But with a twitch of his hand, the Wheel managed to deflect the fire in every other direction. Raising his horned head before phasing through the fire altogether, colliding with HIM.
‘’Your parlor tricks amuse me.’’ The ruined king said mockingly prior to tackling HIM through his own dimension, like a comet flying across space. Phasing through HIM, the Lich grabbed him by the crown of his skull and crushed it against the nearest floating building. Following up with a blast of blackened flame that sent HIM from his grasp. The remnants of the flames corrupting and burning everything in its path. ‘’But nothing can defy the end. Not the splitting of atoms or the love of a child.’’
HIM grew annoyed at his opponents refusal to submit and hissed while putting out the flames on his skirt. His teeth grinding as he grabbed two massive buildings with his mind, crushing the Lich between them and leaving nothing but chunks of bone and rock. But as before, the Lich reappeared, despite all convention.
‘’And certainly not a cheap incarnation of a lesser evil.’’ The Horned King proclaimed. Spewing black flames at the sneering demon who opened his mouth and fired more of his acidic breath at the entity's skulled crown. The twin attacks crashed together like two tidal waves, painting/burning the world around them. With a cruel shriek, HIM pushed forward and shot out red beams from his hands, overpowering the flames. The Lich’s newly activated green barrier reflected the whiplash it before swinging around to face the teleporting HIM.
'’You call me Lesser! And yet... I already won before the battle even began!" Shrieked the demon with a frown large enough to cover the state of texas. As the red energy encapsulated within HIM exited in copious amounts. The fabric of the world shook as HIM grew larger with every step of his newly grown muscular legs, matched only by his arms which transformed with black steel, his claws gleaming. His slender torso expanded and his face widened, all while being enveloped in pitch darkness.
Now standing tall over his smaller adversary, the hellbeast beast took the sky with a single leap. Coming down with both claws in an overhead slam, the Lich narrowly avoided being crushed as he phased through the nearest object. It mattered little as HIMs gleaming eyes spotted the Horned King, blasting him out of the ‘sky’ with a red beam that turned nearly all of the Lich’s bones to ash.
Snatching the dazed entity with his claw, HIM laughed as he crushed his foe's body like a stress ball. Threatening to pop his skull as black goo leaked from his sockets. ‘’Beauty truly lies in the blame. The responsibility for your own failure lies within yourself.’’ The Demon poked, grabbing Lich’s head by the end of this other claw. ‘’You should have accepted my offer. We could have made such HELLISH progress together!’’ He laughed.
The Lich continued to struggle all the way until his skull broke into pieces, releasing his ‘echo’ which spiraled out of HIMs grip. Forming before HIM as a massive cloud of green fire, equal in size to HIMs true form. ‘’Uhhh. Is there anything you didn’t steal from me?’’ HIM said, growing impatient by the Lich’s similar move set.
Using his newfound extra power, HIM grabs the Echo by the horns, smashing his knee into the skull. Unrelenting, he attempted to disperse the cloud of smoke with his magic, but it only seemed to anger the Lich, who swung his arms over his head, colliding with the massive hellbeast.
Using as much energy as could muster, HIMs true form grabs everything within sight and launches it at the Lich, who burns through as much as he could. But in an entire dimension of random wears, it was inevitable that some would cause more than a few scratches. HIM winds his fist and delivers a massive uppercut to the jaw of his foe, sending him flying into the unknown with HIM hot on his trail.
With his opponent dazed, HIM takes another deep breath in, unleashing another massive torrent of flames. His foe, now aware of where he is, roars as he rushes HIM as a great ball of fire surrounds his form, burning as bright as the sun as twice as hot. The respective blasts colliding with one another and swiftly closing the distance. The Infernal deity raises his head towards the incoming fireball and blasts it with a direct beam from his yellow eyes just as it prepares to collide with him.
The resulting collision causes a massive blast, with the shockwaves extending further and further. Breaking the fabric of HIMs dream world and sending the two back into the mortal world with enough force to incinerate everything in sight. Clouds were pushed away by the mere force of the impact, buildings shook then collapsed and the ground upended itself.
Nothing was recognizable from before. Even in its already ruined state, the city of townsville had been wiped off the face of the earth. Leaving a smoldering crater filled with a gooey, blackened essence covered in dust and ash. A shadowy hand appeared from the crater, dragging itself from the ground to reveal the Lich. His body was covered in his own essence, which healed the cracks in his bones as he rose to look upon the destruction. Accompanied by the sweet sound of silence that welcomed a dead world. Scorched by the fires of malice and sin. In any other circumstance, his job would be done.
Except that it wasn’t.
"I don’t understand you..." exclaimed that eccentric voice, echoing regardless of the surroundings. The Lich turned to face his floating rival, who, despite the bruises and burns on his own red skin, was still very much alive. His claws burning with pink flames that shot out to restrain the horned king. Pulling him closer. ‘’It's almost as if your entire existence revolves around making me FRUSTRATED!‘’ HIM said, his voice more hoarse and dark than usual despite his seemingly cheery demeanor as he attempted to peer into the struggling Lich’s mind. ‘’But make no mistake, I always get wh-’’
‘’Stop!’’ Lich interrupted mid-sentence, his voice cold and dark. Everything suddenly becomes pitch black and silent beyond comprehension. As if the Sun itself had just gone out. Even HIM was caught off guard by the immediate change as he looked around, his breath freezing, noticing the Lich had disappeared within the darkness, but his voice could still be heard. ‘’Your brand of chaos has kept me entertained long enough. Allow me to properly educate you.’’
In a flash of light, everything within sight was set ablaze. As if the entire sky had been filled with methane, and someone lit a match, causing HIM to try and block the heat with his claws. ‘’Wh-what is happening?’’ His Majesty demanded to know from a being he couldn’t see. He tries to move his arms and legs, but for whatever reason he’s found himself paralyzed. Unable to close his eyes and see anything other than the bright green fire.
‘’You are stronger than anything I’ve ever faced. But I am beyond strength.’’ Came the Lich's haunting tone as the fires took shape, but not into the Lich. But into strange and otherworldly monsters that wriggled and writhed together like a swarm of insects. Eating away entire worlds and tearing apart the very fabric of the universe. ‘’I am beyond childish mind games. And in your hubris, you left yourself vulnerable.’’ Lich's unseen lips continued to speak before his hand shot out from the flames, snatching HIM by his goatee and pulling him closer. Their eyes locking and before the devil could think to react, the Lich disappeared in a thick cloud of black smoke. Blanketing everything in pure darkness before entering HIMs unwilling mouth and nose, causing immense pain as he witness the beginning of the end replay through his mind, over and over.
In an instant, Lich took whatever energy he could from HIMs corrupted soul and crushed it beneath his bony fingers. Laughing in that sinful, raspy tone as his soul infused flames engulfed everything.
‘’No more riddles from you!''
Results[]
Apologies for the long wait between the pre-fight and the fight. Had a rather unexpected week.
The Lich (Winner)
- + Thousands of years of experience
- Easily more intelligent
- + More offensive abilities
- + Resistance to transmutation/mind control
- + Unlikely to be out-willed by HIM
- + Could target HIMs soul
- = Nearly unkillable in his Spirit Form
- = Psychological abilities
- - Physically Weaker
- - More arrogant in battle
HIM
- + Reality Warping
- More Chaotic and Random
- + Greater Battlefield control
- + Much faster
- = Nearly unkillable at his most powerful
- = Psychological abilities
- - Can still be harmed/thwarted, even in his own realms
- Even Blossom (somehow) turned Chaos Realm into a corporation
- - Can be physically pummeled into submission
- - More likely to retreat when his plans fall through and strength depends on feasting on negative emotions
Boomstick: If the writing was on the wall for this one, it would’ve been in the fine print.
Wiz: It's difficult to say how exactly this battle could have gone since a lot of what both monsters are capable of has required a lot of planning ahead. HIM was only as powerful as the negative emotions that he could feed off of, and whether or not his mind games worked on his targets at all. On the other hand, The Lich requires large wells of life energy to be at full strength, and like HIM, works best when he knows his foe’s strengths and weaknesses.
Boomstick: If this was purely a physical battle, it would have been a lot easier to decide on a winner.
Wiz: Physical strength was almost a non-factor in this case since neither one is really known for impressive feats of strength. Though we do know that Lich could contend with Billy, who slayed an evil ocean, and HIM could match Blossom, who once lifted a mountain. But speed was hard to ignore. HIM was much, much faster in every physical sense. The Lich can break hypersonic speeds when compared to Hunson Abadeer, but HIM can and has matched the faster than light speeds of all 3 of the Powerpuff girls.
(Note: Both could also travel to different planes of existence with little effort)
Wiz: Both were also extremely hard to put down, especially since neither possesses any love to counteract the others evil. And both could just choose to negate all damage entirely through reality warping or just being unable to feel pain. In HIMs case, it's more the latter as unless he’s at his full strength, he can grow weary. Arguably, The Lich was more specialized as it’s stated that only certain types of magic can actually destroy his physical form for good.
Boomstick: Both the Lich and HIM were, at one point, seemingly erased from existence by Prismo and the Gnome respectively. The difference is despite Finn specifically wishing that the Lich never existed, by the same guy who could wipe out all life in the multiverse, The Lich still found a way to come back while HIM had to wait until the Gnomes' death. Who’s inevitable now, Thanos?
Wiz: But none of that would matter if the Lich couldn’t return the favor. Since HIM is leagues above him in speed, and could also tank most of his usual offense. And HIMs reality warping would allow to punish any mistake made by the Lich. On the flip side, The Lich has survived cosmic destruction level events in the past due to his unkillable nature, so even HIM would have difficulty keeping him contained.
(Note: While it is possible that HIM could have survived the Sun crashing into the earth, in context it's more likely he would have retreated to his own dimension before it could happen)
Wiz: So lets recap. The Lich is more experienced, is arguably harder to put down and is resistant to physical and mental transmutation. HIM is much faster, has greater physical durability, better reality warping and often has a home field advantage via warping.
Boomstick: So both would be extremely hard pressed to take the other down without sacrificing much of their power, but in this case, overall power was never going to be the answer. HIM could just tank most of the Lich’s offense and give just as much, and The Lich is practically deathless and can't be manipulated.
(Note: HIM could have possibly brought Lich to life (Sweet P.) like he did the Rowdyruff Boys, but that would require HIM to know of Lich’s weakness to life giving energy, and even if he did, The Lich would return once Sweet P. dies)
Wiz: However there was one field that The King of Ruin was just slightly better at: Resistance to and having better Mental Manipulation. How, you ask? Well HIM could create many deadly illusions, mind control the entire planet at his most powerful and even bring Bubbles chalk world to life. So, overall he has a greater range of mental abilities. Yet, his creations can still be thwarted by normal means, even something as simple as beating them into submission or just drawing over them forced HIM to retreat at one point. And even the worlds he does create aren’t exactly invulnerable to outside sources.
Boomstick: Meanwhile, The Lich can also separate his own pitch black plane of existence from ours, and like HIM he can too possess others with mind control, and can even project memories and insanity upon others. The small difference is that only one is completely immune to being mind fucked. Lich’s Essence allowed him to break free from the citadel and corrupt other beings without much issue, and if Bubbles drawing smiley faces on HIMs monsters could stop them, then Lich would have no problem fighting them off or just simply corrupting them, as he did the primordial beasts.
Wiz: Even Blossom, who has no experience in reality warping whatsoever, managed to convert HIMs entire Chaos Realm into a corporation. And considering the Lich’s already razed one dimensional prison with little effort, there's little to suggest he couldn’t do the same to whatever world HIM creates. And even if HIM managed to make it into the Lich’s mind, he would only be leaving himself open to the Ceaseless Wheels own monstrous, and quite frankly, more destructive mind games.
Boomstick: And no, Lichy could not be mind controlled. Remember when P.B went crazy and transformed the bodies and minds of everyone in OOO? Well, The Lich was completely unaffected by it. While HIM has never been mind controlled himself, his mind games are much easier to beat on both a physical and mental level. Even when he transforms into nightmarish monsters, as long as his foe doesn't fear him, he can be beaten into submission.
Wiz: And given that HIMs soul HAS permanently been erased in the past while the Lich hasn’t, its safe enough to suggest that even if HIM somehow managed to merge with the Lich, it would backfire about as quickly. Especially since the Death Breath works in a similar manner as GOLBs existence erasure. Giving the Ceaseless Wheel the perfect tool to take HIM down for the count.
Boomstick: All the King's Horses and all the King's men, couldn’t put HIM back together again.
The Winner is The Lich
Music[]
Next Time[]
Trivia[]
- This battle would be in 2D, similar style to Jack vs Afro.
- Both are considered the deadliest foes of their respective worlds, even if they aren't the most common.
- The creators of both shows (Adventure Time and PPG) acknowledged that both villains were the most evil when compared to others.
- They are both different forms of evil: The Lich's entire existence revolves around the death of all living beings, while HIM is more chaotic and would rather spread discord.
- The Lich is easily the most persistent villain throughout the series, as he constantly learns from his previous failures. By the same token, HIM watches the events of the show and is always trying to one-up his previous attempts.
- Neither the Lich or HIM have ever been officially killed, as both are seemingly immortal, but they have been beaten or restrained.
- Both are capable of manipulating others to serve their own twisted means, though the Lich is more likely to possess them while HIM prefers mental manipulation.
- Throughout the fight, Lich will be referred to as (The Lich, Lich, the Scholar, the End), while HIM will be referred to as (HIM, His Majesty, King of Darkness, The Devil)
- Several Easter Eggs to speeches from both characters are given here, as well as episodes of each show.