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Engineer VS Nitori

The Engineer VS Nitori Kawashiro is a What-If? episode of Death Battle. It features the RED Engineer of the Team Fortress series and Nitori Kawashiro of the Touhou Project series.

Description[]

Team Fortress VS Touhou Project! The RED Texan and the Water Kappa head into battle with their engineering prowess in an all-out war! Who's inventions will trump the other's? Will the winner be RED, or BLU(E)?

Interlude[]

Wiz: Engineers are smart people, able to create mind-boggling inventions that have changed the world as we know it. These engineers sure know how to create their equipment and use it to the best of their abilities. Like Dell Conagher, the RED Engineer.

Boomstick: And Nitori Kawashiro, the Water Kappa!

Wiz: In this scenario, both engineers will be leading their machines and gadgets to see who is the deadliest fighting know-it-all.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

The Engineer[]

Wiz: Dell Conagher is a soft-spoken Texan man with plenty of smarts.

Boomstick: He does machines.

Wiz: You're... getting a little ahead of me, here. Anyway, as the grandson of the great inventor Radigan Conagher, Dell was a prodigy in his grandfather's work. Following ten years in the Texan oilfields, he was capable of designing all kinds of machinery, and soon was able to continue his grandfather's work and exceed him,

Boomstick: Then eventually, he became part of the nine-man RED Team to take part against the BLU Team. Because someone had to be the genius of the bunch!

Wiz: As it turns out, Dell is surprisingly gifted in the ways of violence. His joining of the RED Team lead to more gun-based slaughter and mechanical tinkering.

Boomstick: Before long, he was capable of building four different types of buildings! His most iconic is his Sentry Gun, which goes "bang-bang-bang" and then there's no more of his opponents! His dispenser is able to heal any team-mates who are standing near it as well as supplying them an infinite amount of ammo, and his teleporter entrance and exit allow team-mates to get to the front lines faster!

Wiz: With enough metal, the Engineer is capable of upgrading his buildings to up to Level 3, which increases their capabilities. The dispenser allows more ammo packs and better healing, whereas teleporters have lower cooldown times. But the one that benefits the most from upgrades is his Sentry Gun.

Boomstick: Even a Level 2 Sentry Gun has its single-barrelled turret replaced by two revolving machine turrets! But at Level 3, this thing gets a glorious, and I mean GLORIOUS, little add-on - a small box at the top for firing QUAD-ROCKETS at foes! That's gotta be a firework's worth of pain!

Wiz: Well... give or take a few... hundred. Anyway, his buildings are technological, and in that case would have a weakness to water--

Boomstick: Which I think is absolute bullshit in this case! I mean, what do you call what is happening RIGHT HERE other than building Sentry Guns in water?

Wiz: Regardless of location, it seems the Engineer has no problems finding a location for his buildings, even underwater. He only has difficulties building on rough ground, requiring a flat enough surface to be able to support his machines.

Boomstick: Good thing he can pack up his stuff in an instant and haul it around as if it is second nature!

Wiz: But even with his machines waging his wars, Dell is perfectly willing to step onto the front line himself.

Boomstick: His own little personal armoury includes his trusty old shotgun, his pistol with 200 rounds worth of shootin', and a stock wrench to upgrade his buildings with. Then for his buildings, he has his handy-dandy PDAs, one for building them, and one for destroying them!

Wiz: He also appears to hold some of his grandfather's previous technology, such as the Wrangler, a device that allows for manual control of the Sentry Gun as well as offering it a defensive shield, as well as the Gunslinger, a robotic hand that replaces the Sentry Gun with a smaller Combat Mini-Sentry.

Boomstick: And how did he get to use it? HE SAWED OFF HIS OWN FUCKING ARM! That is some hardcore dedication! Not to mention this little beauty has a ripcord that, when pulled, does this...

Engineer pulls the ripcord on the Gunslinger and performs his Organ Grinder taunt kill.

Boomstick: Like Wiz when he just wants to go to the bathroom!

Wiz: Yea-HEY! *Robotic arm punch*

Boomstick: Worth it! Also ow, my arm!

Wiz: Anyway... like all members of the team, the Engineer can tap into a critical boost chance. As it is completely random, it can occur at any time. However, some weapons such as the Wrangler and Gunslinger do not get this boost.

Boomstick: Not that it matters in the second case, since three consecutive punches will give a critical hit guaranteed! Just like how I perform in bar brawls.

Wiz: Not really. Anyway, the Engineer's genius and tactical mind makes for an extraordinary member of the team. He's strong enough to haul his buildings around effortlessly, been able to continue his grandfather's work and research, and has designed all kinds of products for the team, still continuing to advance his knowledge to this day.

Boomstick: Unfortunately, every genius has its setbacks, and Dell's no different. He's more dependent on his machines to do the killing for him, and even then they require a metal supply in order to build, repair and upgrade. And not to mention it takes a HELL of a long time to get to Level 3 buildings in mid-combat!

Wiz: But underestimate this war-bound genius at your own peril.

Engineer: Like this heavy caliber, tripod-mounted, little ol' number designed by me...

The Engineer kicks the severed hand away, to which the Sentry Gun nearby shoots at it.

Engineer: Built by me...

The Sentry turns and shoots again, killing a Soldier off-screen.

Engineer: And you'd best hope... not pointed at you.

The Engineer continues to play his guitar as his Sentry Guns take out more and more members of the BLU Team.

Nitori Kawashiro[]

Wiz: According to Japanese folklore, Kappas are creatures that dwell in lakes, and are believed to have pulled victims into the lakes to pull out their livers, or the "shirikidoma" of others, said to be balls containing the victim's souls found inside of their... um... anuses.

Boomstick: Mmm... human intestines... just like mother used to make! Well, whenever Nitori Kawashiro here has had her fill of defenceless swimmers, she takes her time to sell her inventions and what-not.

Wiz: Nitori Kawashiro is a shy Kappa who lives in the Youkai Mountain range with other Kappas and the Tengu, said to be too dangerous for humans due to the youkai that live there. As such, she wards off any humans who try to pass through, but only for their safety more than anything else.

Boomstick: She in fact likes humans and is intrigued by their technology, something of which is likely foreign to that of her fellow Kappas. As an Engineer herself, she is intrigued on working on all kinds of inventions and other things! But unlike other Engineers, she can go all Katara and friggin' control water!

Wiz: As a Kappa, she is capable of manipulating bodies of water, able to create fountains and shooting water out as well as all kinds of other tricks.

Boomstick: What's that meant to mean? Does it mean, like, she juggle 10 water balls at once or something?

Wiz: No... although that WOULD make one impressive party trick.

Boomstick: Well, while being a Waterbender is cool and all, this isn't the extent of Nitori's arsenal! In her freakishly large backpack - which for some reason is friggin' PADLOCKED - in which she carries all kinds of other devices and objects! Take, for example, the multiple arm machines she has, presumably for tickling people to death!

Wiz: No... just, no. There's also her laser gripping device, allowing her to trap opponents in a web of laser beams. She also has an Optical Camouflage Suit to blend in with the surroundings, though she only uses it in a few Spell moves.

Boomstick: Sounds reminiscent of Solid Snake...

Wiz: And if all else fails, she can rely on her cattail or wrench to defend herself.

Boomstick: Lil' Kappa here has a variety of different abiltiies, such as Aerial Blast and Photon Torpedo, and can wet everything with the Water Bomb Giant Swing and many other abilities besides!

Wiz: However, most of her powerful abilities come from Nitori's Spell Cards, which allow her to perform all kinds of abilities. Such as the Optical Camouflage, making use of her suit to mask behind her walls of bullets.

Boomstick: Kappa's Pororoca sends in a giant flood of water, and Monster Cucumber ensnares the entire battlefield with nothing but green lasers!

Wiz: She can also trap foes with her laser gripping device and can chant a mystical spell to summon hundreds, if not thousands, of small disk-like objects. Or, alternatively, she can use her Super Scope 3D Final Word to shoot explosive shells at foes from afar while donning her Optic Camouflage suit.

Boomstick: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I was just KIDDING with what I said earlier, but they literally went and made Nitori, like, the second coming of Solid Snake here!

Wiz: Well... she's not. But it would probably give her a lot more merit than she has. Regardless, she is a very capable engineer, able to solve her own problems and sell her own inventions. However, despite being understanding enough of foreign human technology by breaking it apart and putting it back together, she seems to have trouble creating magical tools of any sort. She's also fairly shy around humans when on her own.

Boomstick: Not to mention her weapons don't last. Her weapons are linked to a finite energy pool that cannot be recharged until after a round is over, therefore she requires careful usage in order to get any long-term use out of them. But don't get me wrong, this is one kid who will drown you with her creative prowess - both figuratively and literally!

Nitori Kawashiro appears.

DEATH BATTLE![]

AgentHoxton[]

It was a pretty peaceful evening in the Youkai Mountains. The young Kappa Nitori Kawashiro was sat by one of the lakes, humming a peaceful melody of her own theme song to herself. However, she was quickly brought out of it by the sounds of machinery nearby. Not wanting to pass up the opportunity to see new technology to experiment with, she got to her feet and decided to investigate.

The mechanical sounds brought her to the heart of the Genbu Ravine, where she peeked her head into the area. Over on the side further away from her was a strange set-up of machinery, unlike anything she had previously encountered. At the front was a red turret, scanning left and right as if searching the area. At the back was a red box-like structure, humming and occasionally grinding out... something. At this distance, Nitori couldn't figure out what it was. She also could have sworn she saw another strange device up on the hills nearby. She would have peeked out to investigate this new set of equipment had the sound of footsteps - and the emerging of a human - not forced her to stay hidden.

Into the area walked a man carrying a toolbox in his hands. He was sporting some goggles and wore a loose hard hat on his head. He was wearing one rubber glove on his hands and he appeared to have plenty of weapons at his side. This indicated the arrival of Dell Conagher. Or The Engineer, as some referred to him as. To him it was all the same. He walked up between his Sentry Gun and his Dispenser and placed the toolbox on the ground. It opened, and slowly a mechanical-looking chair emerged. As it folded out fully, the Engineer sat on it, before producing a bottle of whisky and taking a swig.

"Ahh... life o' Riley..." the Engineer mumbled to himself as he relaxed by the river. Nitori looked on shyly. It was a human. She wanted to explore that machinery, but with him around...?

...No. She had to be brave. Just this once. Besides, he was in dangerous territory being this far up the mountain. What if the youkai found him here? Nitori stepped out from her hiding place, standing in full sight of the Engineer's set-up and catching the RED Team Texan's attention as she stood there.

"Somethin' ya need, partner?" The Engineer called out. Nitori stared at him.

"You need to get going! It's too dangerous up here!" Nitori called back. The Engineer was perplexed. It was so calm out here - what was there to be in danger of?

"Ah, I'm sure it's nothin'." The Engineer said with a chuckle. This irritated Nitori. If she wasn't going to get him to leave through negotiation, she was going to have to get him to leave by force. She drew out a small wrench and clutched it in both hands. It was this that got the Engineer to stand up. His cheerful and jokey nature had been cast aside by anger and caution.

"You ain't going to get nothin' outta doing that, missy." The Engineer warned. "But if it's a fight y'all want..."

He then drew out his own wrench, grasping it in one and and patting the head of the wrench against the other.

"Then it's gonna be a fight y'all get." The Engineer finished. He stood amongst his machinery as Nitori herself prepared for battle.

FIGHT!

Nitori dashed in flight towards the Engineer, ready to get in an early set of hits on the Texan. However, as she approached, the Sentry Gun turned towards her, beeped, and fired rounds into her, stopping her and pushing her back. She hit the ground once before skidding to a halt. The Engineer laughed a little.

"You ain't getting through that easily, partner!" The Engineer taunted, as he got out his pistol and twirled it around on his finger. He then took aim at Nitori and shot at her continuously, as Nitori dashed in and out of the Sentry Gun's range. Eventually, she thought she saw an opening and dashed in, avoiding the Sentry Gun's fire and striking the Engineer with her wrench. In retaliation, The Engineer struck her head with his own wrench and threw her into the Sentry Gun's line of fire again as he reached for an acoustic guitar he had propped up on the side. As Nitori tried to attack the Sentry Gun in hopes that it would stop firing at her, The Engineer smashed his guitar over her head, before taking his wrench and smashing it into her jaw. The force of the blow knocked her into the air and made her land in the water. The Engineer panted for a little bit before using some of his metal to repair and upgrade the Sentry Gun.

"Well, that takes care of that." The Engineer remarked as he brought the Sentry Gun to Level 2. However, the water began to rumble and churn, before Nitori suddenly emerged, flying into the air with a large slab of water in her control. She shot the water at the RED Texan, soaking him. Angry, Dell took out his shotgun and took aim, firing at the airborne Kappa. She avoided the shotgun blast and returned to the ground, taking her bag off of her back.

"Maybe I have something that will help against him..." Nitori thought to herself as she tried to pull something helpful out. Before long, she pulled out multiple arm machines and linked them together, before swinging it towards the Engineer and latching onto his wrench. The Engineer struggled against the arm's grip, but a hearty backwards swing from the Texan toymaker launched Nitori back towards him, where he punched her in the gut, scattering the arm machines . Nitori got pushed back again by the Sentry Gun's fire as The Engineer decided to go in pursuit.

Nitori got back to her feet and picked up one of the arm machines as The Engineer tried to swing his wrench over her head. She avoided the strike and returned a punch with the arm machine to the Engineer's face. The Engineer staggered back as Nitori used a Spell Card.

"Kappa's Pororoca"

Nitori conjured a large ball of water and shot it at the ground in front of her, unleashing a small torrent of water upon the area. The water now came up to the two's ankles. The Engineer took his shotgun out and shot at Nitori again, who easily dodged the bullets. She then began her Final Word, utilising her Optical Camouflage Suit and disappearing. The Engineer's mouth was agape at this.

"Sh-she's a Spy!" He declared, and began to nervously scan the area for any signs of where she could appear from. However, he looked up to see explosive shells raining from the sky... and headed right for his Sentry Gun. He quickly packed the Sentry up and jumped back just as the shells exploded where the Sentry once was. More shells rained down, this time towards the Engineer's location. He was able to avoid two of them but was caught by the third, knocking him off of his feet and into the shallow water. Nitori landed back down into view as the Engineer got to his feet, placing the Sentry Gun down again and smashing it with his wrench in order to get it up quickly. After this, he ran to his dispenser for more health and metal, all while shooting Nitori with his pistol as she avoided the attacks.

"Missy, when I get my hands on you, I am going to shoot that smug look of yours right off your stupid face!" The Engineer warned as he ran back and smashed his wrench on the Sentry Gun repeatedly. It then transformed into a full Level 3 sentry. Above, Nitori looked on with wonder and flew closer for a look... until the Sentry Gun beeped, turned upwards and shot bullets and quad rockets at her. Nitori gets hit by the rockets and is knocked further into the air, before she retreats a little, wondering how to counter this machine. She then flew high up into the air, and gathered a lot of water from the area, conjuring it into a giant ball to throw at Dell from way up above. The Engineer looked up in horror as the water descended, before building a teleporter entrance as fast as he could. He then packed up his Sentry Gun again and jumped on the entrance, disappearing just before the water hit and destroyed the entrance and his dispenser, once again creating a flash torrent of water around the area.

The Engineer got through the other side of the teleporter on top of the hills just as it deactivated. He looked at the flooded scenery before placing his Sentry down on a flat enough part of the hill. Once it finished building, he noticed Nitori was flying towards him at high speed and got out his Wrangler, aiming the Sentry Gun at her and firing away. Nitori weaved around as the Engineer kept aiming at her, occasionally shooting quad-rockets her way, which she avoided. She then fired a stream of bullets at the Engineer, who ducked behind one of the hilltops as the Sentry took moderate damage. The Engineer quickly repaired it while it was still unable to fire and took his pistol, firing once again at Nitori, who avoided the shots.

"He sure is persistent for a human..." Nitori wondered as she got some more water and fired it at the Engineer's sentry. It caused minimal damage as it fired at her again, shooting more bullets and quad rockets...

...and suddenly, it made a lot of clicking sounds. It had ran out of ammo completely. The Engineer quickly ran up to his Sentry and smashed his wrench over the Sentry... only to hear a dim "clink" sound, notifying that Dell's ammo supply had ran out completely as well. Nitori prepares a Spell Card again.

"Kappa's Pororoca"

This time, she appeared to create quite a lot of water... a lot, LOT more than the previous time she used it. The whole area was starting to flood with a lot, LOT more than before. Before long, the Genbu Ravine's scenery was underwater. Deep, deep underwater. Debris floated across the surface as Nitori floated onto a large slab of stone. The Engineer was nowhere to be seen. She thought she had won the fight, until...

Suddenly, The Engineer emerged from the water and got onto the slab of stone too, panting for breath. Nitori decided to end the fight and flew back into the air, using another Spell Card:

"Loch Ness Is Here Right Now!"

Suddenly, a large creature loomed out of the water, looking at The Engineer. The Engineer looked up with his mouth agape.

"What in Sam Hill..." The Engineer murmured as he stared up at the creature. Suddenly, "Nessie" began to charge up a laser beam. The Engineer, acting quickly, leapt off the slab of stone as the laser fired at the slab, destroying it completely. However, the Engineer had swam up to the side of the creature, stabbing his hand into its side as he began to climb onto its back. Nitori, similarly, floated down onto the back of Nessie. The Engineer was wet. And he was mad.

"Now you've done it..." Dell growled. He then pulled on his rubber glove and pulled it off to reveal his robotic hand.

The Gunslinger.

"You're about to have a real bad day..." He warned as he clenched the hand into a fist. Nitori grabbed her wrench as she prepared for the brawl. Engineer then let out a war cry as he charged at the Kappa, who rushed to him similarly. The Engineer's fist and Nitori's wrench clashed multiple times before he lets out an almighty uppercut, knocking the wrench out of Nitori's hands. The Engineer smiled evilly.

"Gotcha." He declared as he flexed his robotic fingers. Nitori looked at her laser weapon... she realized her energy was running low. This next attack had to count. She quickly used another Spell Card.

"Exteeeending Aaaaarm"

Suddenly, The Engineer was ensnared with lasers. He couldn't move out. He looked around in horror as he realised he was trapped. Nitori then manipulated the water around her to get her wrench back. She shot the water in a high-pressure burst. The Engineer could feel his bones break on impact as he staggered back. Nitori ran forward and jammed her wrench down The Engineer's throat. He began to choke as Nitori then kicked the Texan in the head, knocking him out and sinking him into the water. This time, Nitori flew up into the air, watching the water. There were a few bubbles, and then... nothing. Nothing but a small pool of blood within the mix. The Engineer had gone. For real this time.

Nessie disappeared in the water as Nitori gathered all of the flood water into a ball. She had to get rid of it all, otherwise the other creatures of the mountain would complain. After all of it was gathered, she shot the water off into the far horizon. She then floated back down to the ground of the Genbu Ravine, now back to normal aside from the damage. She noticed some blueprints on the ground for the Engineer's Sentry Gun, and picked them up. She stared at them before leaving the area.

K.O!

Nitori Kawashiro attempts to build a Sentry Gun of her own, whilst the rest of the RED Team are trying to get to safety following their base being suddenly flooded.

Results[]

Boomstick: The BLU side beating the RED. I think that's a first in recorded history.

Wiz: Doubt it. Regardless, this was a surprisingly even match. Though the Engineer was the physically superior fighting of the two, holding more experience in battle and having the more combat-fit machinery, Nitori could take all of his punishment and give just as much.

Boomstick: Dell's a smart guy, so naturally he'd have no trouble adapting to his opponents, but Nitori is an opponent who leaves little to no breathing room for her foes when it comes to attacks, making it difficult for Engie to close the gap!

Wiz: Unfortunately, he didn't have the means to put Nitori down for good. And while the Dispenser is perfect for repairing damage, Nitori can do it herself at a much faster rate. Adding in Nitori's water abilities, despite the Engineer's buildings not really being affected by water, it still prevented much chance for the Engineer to keep on top of her.

Boomstick: The Engineer almost had a victory, until both him and it were washed away!

Wiz: The winner is Nitori Kawashiro.

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