| Polar opposites! | |
|---|---|
| Season 1, Episode ?
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Vital statistics
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| Air date | ???? |
| Written by | Sebastian pereira90 |
| Directed by | Sebastian pereira90 |
Episode guide
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| Mario & Luigi Vs. Sans & Papyrus | Betty VS Devil Mario |
The Batter vs Sans is a What-If? Death Battle featuring Sans from the popular Indie game Undertale and The Batter from the indie video game OFF.
Description[]
Undertale VS OFF! Genocide halter VS Genocidal maniac! It's a battle of polar opposites from indie RPGs as a mass murderer takes on a mass murderer ender, will Batter experience a bad time or will Sans be the next victim to be "purified"?
Interlude[]
Boomstick: Hey Wiz! You know what I love?
Wiz: No....?
Boomstick: Polar opposites! Specially genocidal vs halter!
Wiz: Like, The Batter, from OFF? The genocidal purifier.
Boomstick: And Sans the skeleton, the Lazy, bad time giver. He is Wiz and I am Boomstick!
Wiz: And our job is analyze their armor, weapons and skills to find out who would win, a DEATH BATTLE.
The Batter[]
Wiz: On a world, a man on white appeared on Zone 0, looking like a baseball player– a batter, to be exact, has a clear goal... Purify the world. He wasn't alone, an entity called The Player was with him.
Boomstick: 4th wall breaking? Whoohoooo! Deadpool number two!
Wiz: (clears throat) Anyways, this man met a cat called The Judge, they talked and the confident cat let him into Zone 1, this Man's name, you may ask? His name was, The Batter.
- Name: The Batter
- "Gender: Male
- Age: Somewhere on his 20's
- Classification: Genocidal purifier
Boomstick: This man's history continues when he adventures between Zone 1, where The judge tells him about a sentinent ring called "Add-on", which can help him on combat, thus, this ring's name is Alpha
Wiz: Correct Boomstick, The Batter ventured between the halls of the massive building and met Zacharie, who seels items at people and-
Zacharie: Someone called?
Boomstick: Wait, WHAT?!
Wiz: ... Lets continue with the history please.... Anyways, Batter after a few puzzles and learning how stuff works on the zones right before meting it's guardian, Dedan.
Boomstick:... A huge dick! You see, this guy's a total dictator that abuses his own workers, says bad words, and his own appearence is awful!
Wiz: This guardian fights our friend on a battle that ends on the guardians' defeat, and purification of the Zone. Boomstick: Is that being purified? And what are those baby-like things?
Wiz: They're called "Secretaries", their origins are unknown, but they're quite dangerous individuals, plus, they attack with math operations
Boomstick:.... This is getting weird.
Wiz: Continuing, Batter finds Zone 2, ventures through its giant library and finds many Elsens, thus, Zacharie is a kinda boss there.'
Boomstick: Then he met Valerie, Pablo's brother.
Wiz: Actually, Valerie is long time dead, replaced with Japhet, the zone guardian, which punishes his people because they don't listen to him, after that, Batter fought him and....
(Japhet comes from Valerie's mouth)
Boomstick: I am getting used to this.
Wiz: After killing the guardian, Batter purified the zone and-
Boomstick: He left Pablo with depresion because he turned his brother onto blurry paste on the floor.
Wiz: Goddammit Boomstick. Anyways, our purifier finds out that Pablo is being impersonated by Zacharie, he climbed through a chimmey and again fought its guardian
Boomstick: This is getting repetitve.
Wiz: Yeah... Zone 3's guardian, Enoch is a giant blob with some sort of adiction to sugar
Boomatick: Like....?
Wiz: Shut up Boomstick
Boomstick: After racing with this guardian Batter finds out that the guardians are the living engine of the Zones, and that he kills them he is destroying the zone.
Wiz: Moving on, Batter comes to The Room, a logic-defying place that has a sun, pocket dimensions and really weird stuff.
Boomstick: Obviously, after some puzzling shit, creppy stuff we got to the room's last place, where the guardians are, Batter finds The Queen, Vader Eloha
Wiz: Of course, Batter utterly destroyed the woman on combat only to find Hugo, his pseudo son
Boomstick:.... He just murdered his son?! Really?
Wiz:... Yes? Anyways, Pablo goes out of his problems and foughts Batter on an epic battle where the purifer ends victorous, ending his quest and flipping the switch
Boomstick: Onto his abilites, he uses competences, here is a list!
- Wide Angle: Analyzes an enemy's characteristics.
- Save Base: Techniques used to restore HP or resurrect allies.
- Save First Base: Restores a little amount of HP.
- Save Second Base: Restores more HP than Save First Base.
- Save Third Base: Restores all HP.
- Save Fourth Base: Reanimates an ally.
- Save Secret Base: Restores a great amount of HP to the whole party.
- Magic/Special/Furious/Ultimate Homerun: Homerun attacks of different magnitude.
- Run with Courage/Grace/Demetia/Belief: Attacks utilizing the elements: metal, plastic, smoke and meat.
- Add-Ons: The Batter has several additional add-ons he can use in combat.
- Alpha: Add-On that inflicts negative effects.
- Saturated/Converted/Long/Entire Chain: Chain attacks of different magnitude.
- Awaited Embrance: Competence that inflicts Poison, slowly damaging the enemy.
- Requisite Embrance: Competence that inflicts Blindness, lowering the enemy's accuracy.
- Open Embrance: Competence that inflicts Muteness, making the enemy unable to use competences.
- Impossible Embrance: Competence that inflicts Palsy, making the enemy unable to move for a limited time.
- Omega: Add-On that heals status effects.
- Inverse perspective: Cures Blindness and Muteness.
- Optimised Blur: An attack that inflicts randomized damage.
- Overdone Perspective: Cures Poison and Sleep.
- Photografic Blur: An attack that pierces through defense.
- Frontal Perspective: Cures Blindness, Fury and Palsy.
- Gaussian Blur: An attack that takes away a chunk of the enemy's CP.
- Overdone Perspective: Reanimates an ally.
- Radial Blur: An attack that lowers the enemy's defense.
- Epsilon: Add-On that buffs stats and uses area attacks.
- Surrealistic/Abstract/Cubista/Fauvestic Tragedy: Tragedy Competences that inflict a low, mediocre, important or incredible amount of damage.
- Classic Drama: Competence that increases Attack.
- Baroque Drama: Competence that increases Defense.
- Experienced Drama: Competence that increases Intelligence.
- Unrevokable Drama: Competence that increases Speed.
- Alpha: Add-On that inflicts negative effects.
Wiz: Batter's feats are quite simple, he could move within the Nothingness, a place were everything travels at the Speed of Light!
Boomstick: The guardians have an interesting feat, they created the Zones from nothing and used Sunlight to do so, Wiz, calc that shit
Wiz: Here, it is seen that, in the Nothingness, The Batter is able to travel (982 - 694) 288 pixels in 0.57 seconds, or about 505.263 px/sec. Why is this relevant? Because everything in the Nothingness travels at the Speed of Light, that's why. With that being said, and the speed of light being 299792458 m/s, each pixel is ([/ 505.263|299792458 / 505.263] =) 593339.425 meters. Seeing as all of these Zones are different inhabited planets and that each are measured as shown above, here is a small grafic about it:
Zone 1: Avg Diameter of 23 px, Avg Radius of 11.5 px, or 6823403.390 m
Zone 2: Avg Diameter of 23.5 px, Avg Radius of 11.75 px, or 6971738.246 m
Zone 3: Avg Diameter of 25 px, Avg Radius of 12.5 px, or 7416742.815 m
Boomstick: So?
Wiz: On the sphere calculator, it ends on the following grafic
Zone 1: ~1.33074e+21 cubic meters
Zone 2: ~1.41942e+21 cubic meters
Zone 3: ~1.70895e+21 cubic meters
Wiz: And considering they are made of iron, it should end like the following grafic
Zone 1: 1.04782e+25 kg
Zone 2: 1.11765e+25 kg
Zone 3: 1.34563e+25 kg
Wiz: And according to this site it ends up generating energy on the following grafic:
Zone 1's creation: 9.4173e+41 Joules
Zone 2's creation: 1.0045e+42 Joules
Zone 3's creation: 1.2094e+42 Joules
Boomstick: Which ends up being a motherfucking Star busting thing....
Wiz: Yeah....
(NOTE FROM AUTHOR: This calc isn't mine, it all comes from this blog, special thanks for its creator.)
Boomstick: Didn't The Queen used the same formula to create the sun?
Wiz: Exactly, see what following grafic:
Mass of the Sun: 1.989e+30 kg
Creation of the Sun: 1.7876e+47 Joules
Boomstick: Holy sh*t, thats great!
Wiz: Speaking of the sun, Batter runs it later on the game, lets calc it for the sake of doing so. Batter moved to tge sun in 1.38 seconds, see the grafic below for more info
Disance to the Sun: ~149598000000 meters
([[1]] meters / 1.38 seconds =) [[2]] m/s, or 361.598 times the speed of light.
Wiz: However he has flaws, extremely reliant on the player and he is quite straightforward on what he does and who he is
Boomstick: Holy shit, if its there a person you don't wanna met on your path, its this guy.
The Batter: From now on, there will be no more darkness.
Sans[]
Wiz: Long ago, humans and monsters ruled over the land. One day, a war started, and humans went victorious.
Boomstick: Humans sealed monsters because they could, and after many years, humans fell, all dead!
Wiz: But a human fell, called Frisk, it passed the ruins and found an skeleton, his name was Sans
- Name: Sans The Skeleton
- Gender: Male
- Age: Unknown (Older than Papyrus)
- Classification: Hard-To Beat boss, bad-time giver
Wiz: This skeleton's past is unknown, but he is a pun-lover (and Ketchup one) lazy skeleton.
Boomstick: This dude is really lazy, at the point when his brother is fucking killed and he doesn't do anything!
Wiz: Actually, Sans is the final boss of the Genocide Route of Undertale, being one of the last obstacules that Frisk faces.
Cue ~ Song That Might Play When You Fight Sans
Boomstick: Honestly, Sans is the dude that gives out bad-ass times, onto his abilities! Firstly, we have normal bones! Pretty self-explanatory
Wiz: The powerful Gaster Blaster, a skull-like cannon that shoots a great laser.
Boomstick: The Bone Cage, when Sans spares you, he betrays us and...
Sans: Get dunked on!
(Soul shatters, and stay determined plays on the background)
Wiz: But Sans' best ability, Karma, which negates durabilty depending on others' sins. Meaning he can simply one-shot most enemies.
Boomatick: And obviously, this makes him the hardest boss on the game, with being able to break its rules by attacking us on our turn, or keep his! Also, he dodges!
Wiz: Sans' best feats are on speed, where he dodges Frisk, who dodges Meteors, which catch fire, or roughly Mach 30+!
Boomstick: Furthermore, he could tank something that vaporized a cup of water.... Cup incluided!
Wiz: The heat on hotland vaporized an Styrofoam cup and the water inside of it into vapor, instantly. That's some intense heat, since by Science, it's practically impossible to elevate something's water beyond its boiling point instantaneously. So no, he should indeed be Wall level. Maybe even higher.
Boomstick: We also forgot to list Blue Mode, which can move someone's soul where he wants, either for setting up a dammed huge amount of bones to impale you or just plain smack you against the walls.
Wiz: Thats pretty much it, There's not that much to say honestly.
Boomstick: His weakneses? He is lazy as fuck, he only fights when he needs to and he can tire out!
Sans: wanna have a bad time?
Prelude[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, lets end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Pre-DEATH BATTLE![]
The Batter right to the switch, speechless of what he was staring at, was it the end of his purification? He would only know it with one move. The camera goes back at Pablo's corpse, bloody and lifeless.
Click!
"The switch is now off"
After that, Batter is teleported to The Nothingness, where he finds a secret place and decides to investigate.
When Batter comes close to the small portion he instantly teleports to an unknown place, the baseball player looks somewhere, and he rans to the other room.... Only to find a child's lifeless body.
The purifier finds the child's dead body, he examinates it and finds out that its souless. A flower emerges from the ground
I am Flowey, Flowey the Flower!"
The Batter looks through Flowey's eyes close enough, and the only thing he finds are sins over that flower's back
"Do you need advice....?"
...
"You dammed brat"
As Batter says this, he picks Flowey from the ground and looks closer, then he literally tears one of his pellets, he does that again, and again....
Flowey is now a almost lifeless flower, Batter picks it and crushes it on his hand, smoke is created as Flowey speaks in agony
No! NOOooOoOOOooOOoOOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOO!"
It wasn't too much when Flowey stopped saying gibberish and nothing remains on the man's hand.
"Your sins doomed you"
Batter walks away from the room, and enters the ruins where Toriel is.
"This land shall be pure"
Hey! You human man has fallen to the ruins! My name is Toriel, the caretaker of the ruins.
"I must purify the world, stay away from my way.'
It's unsafe to go outside, they'll found you, and they'll kill you
Batter points his bat at Toriel's direction and makes her turn back, before she starts walking, solves the first puzzle without explaining Batter how stuff works there.
Batter walks through the ruins, and looks at a flying ring.
"Alpha?"
Batter hears footsteps and looks at all directions.
"Show yourselfs, impure children!"
Purification in progress
Batter sees a Froggit and hits it with enough force to turn it onto dust instantly, the other frog tries running as the ring-like figure catches it and hits it again, killing the Froggit.
A moldsmal coudn't even react when The Batter already hit him with his bat, instantly turning the monster onto a blurry paste on the floor.
Alpha sees a Whimsun, and dashes toward the latter at high speeds.
Saturated Chain
The Competence catches both the Whimsun and a Vegetiod, killing them both
Adversaries purified
(Within the Ruins)
Nothing remains, piles of dust, paste, and many whispers, the only thing alive, was The Batter.
Toriel on her house hears footsteps, she hides at the ruins exit, The Batter there starts watching things after going to the exit.
I..... Am not going to let you outside, you'll have to..... Fight....
Right after Toriel raises her hand, Alpha literally pierces through her stomach and Batter runs toward her, striking Asgore's wife on the rib cage, obliterating it entirely.
After a small scream from Toriel, Batter lifts his bat once more, this time striking her head, when the bat hits it's target, blood splatters across Batter's face, the sound of a monster being turned onto dust is heard as Batter says a few words.
This land is now pure....
The camera zooms back at the ruins, which's color to being drained by the purification, everything is white now.... ~Snowdin~
"SANS! GO TO WORK!"
"papyrus, i've been doing a 'sanstastic' job"
"WAIT.…"
Batter stands next to the skeleton duo, blood on his bat and a sadistical smile across his face.
"HUMAN!"
"I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL CAPTURE YOU!"
Batter starts silenty walking, and Papyrus runs away del from him, Sans is on the wall as the purifier stands before him.
"hey buddy, papyrus wants to met a human, so it would be nice to act like one"
~~Snowdin forest~~
Batter is standing next to a monster's group, he hits one of them, turning his head onto bloody bits, Alpha punches one, hitting the another with it's hat, killing them both.
Batter, during his Oddysey finds Papyrus' puzzle, he simply ignores it and keeps going, only to find dumber puzzles.
After that, Batter's close to the town, almost nobody is there, he goes to the bridge where Papyrus has his last puzzle, the guantlet appears and the only thing The Batter does is fly out of it.
"What are these things?"
On the forest's last part, Sans stands there.
'"hey, if you keep the way you are going…."
"…. you are gonna have a bad time"
"My mission is to purify does who are impure.... Stay out of the way"
(Sans teleports away)
On Snowdin's town, Batter tries to open a door, and finds the following note:
"Please... Do not harm my family…."
(Batter remembers when he slaughtered a small family of monsters, shakes his head and walks away)
~~Snowdin's end~~
"HUMAN…"
"THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED T-"
Batter walks
"QUIT MOVING!"
Batter starts moving faster
"I THINK I'LL SPARE YOU, ACCEPT MY OFFER"
"No"
"Magic Homerun"
Batter throws a baseball to the sky and holds his bat with courage, when the ball falls Batter hits it with all his might toward Papyrus…
The ball went straight on Papyrus' chest and pierced through his battle-suit, creating extreme pain to the skeleton, right after this, and with a wave of his hand everything goes white with Batter's purification.
The purifier teleports away as the camera stays with Papyrus, who's on his last moments, the white color slowly obliterates him, the worst part is that he is aware of what's happening there and feels all the pain before letting a last scream…
"NYEEEH!!!!!"
Back on Waterfall, The Batter passes from every monster there and just goes to find a turtle-like figure called Gerson, he passes from him and goes to the Temmie Village, where nobody’s there.
Batter didn't even got ambushed, he was about to get onto hotland when he found Undyne there.
She didn't even talk, the brave yet confident fish jumped towards The Batter…
CRACK!
Undyne got instantly hit by the bat, it literally blew parts of the armor away and utterly destroyed the fish’s rib cage.
The hit started melting Undyne, she couldn't do a thing
When the purifier was gonna leave, a white light covers Undyne, and she’s now changed…
“You're gonna try a little harder than THAT!”
Undyne this time fires a lot more of spears and more spears before Batter dodges/blocks them, Once Batter saw a small weak spot he jumped and raised his bat before hitting Undyne with it, shattering the fish’s back, and literally ripping them in half
Leaving the place with a sadistic smile, Batter goes directly to the core and finally meeting Mettaton, who tried to stop the Batter lands a direct hit on him, making his systems malfunction and finally explode.
On the Judgment Hall, Sans and Batter stand with each other and Sans snaps his fingers, making 1000 bones appear, and countless Gaster Blasters.
"here we go, dirty brother killer"
FIGHT!!!!
DEATH BATTLE![]
In the exact moment Batter moved himself a step Sans quickly snaps his finger and teleports, leaving a Gaster Blaster, when it starts making light the purifier moves, avoiding being hit by the upcoming blast
On the other part of the hall Sans' look is that of a serious one, suddenly, with a move of his arm he makes Batter crash on a wall and makes bones out of the latter, the purifier looks on confusion...
CRUNCH!!!!
The sound of flesh being punctured filled the Judgment Hall as Batter screams on pain.
"Epsilon..... Abstract Tragedy!"
The ring went through Sans and placed behind him before starting making light, when it was close to Sans, blasts of light filled the Judgement Hall....
MISS!
"Where did he go...?"
"..... here...."
Sans once more snapped his fingers, materializing seven Gaster Blasters out of thin air as they shot their beams of energy...
Batter almost barely sidesteps away from it and sees Sans behind him, who leaves another Gaster Blaster and hitting the purifier point blank.
"....."'
A raindrop-like sound is made, and Batter's forehead is filled with blood, which he attempts to clean after Sans creates two giant bone walls and closes them close to The Batter, crushing him a bit
"heh"
"Alpha.... Long..? Chain....!"
Long Chain
The add-on propelled itself to Sans at great speeds, being slowed down by the skeleton's Telekinesis and thrown around.
"look pal... i didn't want to do this."
Before Sans ends his sentence Batter is given enough time to break free of the two walls crushing him, blood on his clothes.
Save First Base
Sans still stands there, staring at the baseball player before him before small portions of light start healing his wounds, albeit a few– not all of them
"My only purpose is to purify the impure, I shall not be stopped."
"give up, pal, you can be a good person, we can call it a tener?"
"...."
Sans extends his hand, and he smiles cheerfully....
...
CRUNCH!!!!!
The bone went straight clean on Batter's chest, as his eyes were that of nothingness...
Sans snaps his fingers once more, this time creating four Gaster Blasters and a bone cage that exploded when the blasts hit it, a giant bone came from the ground impaling Batter and leaving him almost lifeless
".... No."
(Music stops)
Purification failed.....
Cue ~ The Lament of Ghost Batter
On a rather dark place, Batter seemly stays, he wasn't dead– just really harmed, near death, he could even call out his Add-Ons, in that state however, he couldn't held his own against Sans.
"Omega....."
"Overdone Perspective....!"
(Music stops)
After hearing that call out, the ring ceases from fighting the skeleton and goes through the purifiers' body and starts running circles around it, generating a blinding light that encompasses most of the Judgement Hall.
"No."
"buddy, give up already."
Batter looks back at Sans, who's once more gone and started teleporting the purifier onto a wall and preparing another of his attacks, this time failing the hit.
"its your fault, isn't it?"
With a snap of his fingers, and a glowing eye, Sans summons 100 Gaster Blasters and countless bones as Batter and his Add-Ons stay on their ground.
Fauvestic tragedy
Radial Blur
The two Competences obliterated most of the attacks coming at The Batter and the remaining Add-On goes after Sans...
... He simply sidesteps, this time doing a last warning
"i'll be forced to use my special attack, on the next turn."
After Batter swings once more on Sans direction, the latter's eye glows even brighter
Batter looks and gets hit by a bone on the jaw, which sends him to some platforms with a pit of bones, which he avoids by flying, sadly Epsilon fell and died impaled by the bones
After that a lot of Blasters make their sound which Batter once more dodges, poor Omega couldn't dodge and got charred by the blasts
After this, a circle of Gaster Blasters is created and Batter starts running from it as Sans starts moving his hand around and hitting Batter with the pillars, filling the Judgement Hall with one peculiar sound....
SHATTER!
SHATTER!
SHATTER!
SHATTER!
SHATTER!
"huff... puff..."
"alright... time for my special attack"
"..."
"heh. that's it, nothing, you can't move"
Sans' eyes then closed...
SLEEEP........
"Alpha..."
"Impossible Embrace!"
The Add-on went straight Sans, it didn't kill him, when he opened his eyes and tried to sidestep to dodge the following attack...
He couldn't
BAM!
Sans' half part literally exploded on a pile of dust and ketchup which splattered across the Hall, and his remaining part was staying on agony.
"welp, guess that's it"
"don't tell me i didn't warn ya."
Batter then steps on Sans' head, crushing it, killing the skeleton on the process. This land is now pure"
K.O!!!![]
----
(On one panel, Sans' dust stands on the halls of the Judgment Hall, on the other one, The Batter is seen killing Asgore, and going of the Underground)
Results[]
Boomstick: Never know baseball players would be that brutal!
Wiz: Anywho, let us explain why Batter wins this Battle, to starters, the purifier is way faster than him, remember Sans’ speed, Mach 30+, right? Welp, Batter is several times around that, being 316 times the speed of light! He could’ve perfectly blitzed Sans from the start, which makes up up the next point
Boomstick: Sans’ dura sucks! It's just wall level
Wiz: Furthermore, Batter's Star and Solar System busting feats plus his speed were more than enough to beat Sans, not to mention, the Competences can put Sans on palsy, meaning he couldn't dodge nor attack Batter, seemly, Sans’ KR is gonna hurt like hell, but that doesn’t stack up the advantages Batter had
Boomstick: Looks like Sans couldn't BATTER up a victory!
Wiz: The winner is, The Batter
