| The Avengers vs. The Seven
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|---|---|
| Season 1, Episode 1 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | N/A |
| Written by | Awesomer12 & Im secretly batman |
| Directed by | Awesomer12 |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Unknown | Unknown |
Description[]
Marvel vs. The Boys! Entering the fight are the Earth's Mightiest Heroes and the world's most famous, blockbuster superhero team brought to you by Vought International.
Intro[]
Wiz: Superheroes have long promoted the ideals of truth, justice, and freedom for all.
Boomstick: But what happens when those ideas are kinda sorta flushed down the toilet for money and fame?
Wiz: Enter the Avengers. Earth's Mightiest Heroes vs. The Seven. Fiat justitia ruat caelum.
Boomstick: What the hell did you just say?
Wiz: It's—It's the Seven's motto. Let justice be done though the... nevermind.
Boomstick: Yeah, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. But anyway, he's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, & skills to see who would win... a Death Battle.
The Avengers[]
Captain America[]
Wiz: In the 1940s a boy named Steve Rogers always dreamed of being in the army and serving his country.
Boomstick: But he was only 110 pounds, was super weak & and got the crap beat out of him A LOT.
Wiz: But, the army was planning to test a super-soldier serum and Steve happily agreed to be the "Guinea pig".
Boomstick: The test worked and Steve got about 200 more pounds of muscle!
Wiz: Cap was also given a shield made out of an indestructible metal called Vibrianuim, which he uses as his main weapon.
Boomstick: A shield? What the heck can that do?!
Wiz: The Vibranium in Captain America's shield can bounce off walls and ricochet back to Steve. It also absorbs all impact.
Boomstick: What do you mean?
Wiz: In Captain America: Civil War, bullets are shot at Black Panther (whose suit is also made out of Vibranium) the bullets are shown hitting his suit, losing momentum than just stopping and falling to the ground.
Boomstick: Huh.
Wiz: But a better explanation is that it absorbs kinetic energy and redirects it at its attacker. The shield can: Deflect everything even small rockets (going over 100mph), absorb attacks from Hulk & Thor, and cut even Ultron, whose armor is made out of Adamantium!
Boomstick: Cap's at peak human strength and is even thought to be superhuman!
wiz: He can even run up to 100 kilometers an hour and can outrun cars! He also has enhanced durability, easily shrugging off gunshots and stabs.
Boomstick: Cap's armor is also pretty impressive being bulletproof and taking shots of a pistol at point-blank range.
Wiz: Captain America is an excellent fighter being a master at Boxing, Judo, Kickboxing, Karate, Ti Kwon do, and pretty much every form of martial art. He's even amazed Iron Fist and Shang-chi!
Boomstick: Steve also NEVER runs out of energy (well, everyone has limits) and can fight all day long. So when he says "I can do this all day", he's telling the truth!
Wiz: Cap can also react, see and think way faster than the regular human. He's also a master tactician and has led the Avengers in TONS of battles.
Boomstick: Captain America is freakin' awesome!
Wiz: He's actually so awesome, that he's worthy enough to lift Mjnoir, Thor's hammer! This gives him control over Lightning.
Captain America: AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!
Iron Man[]
Wiz: Tony Stark was born rich to his mother and father, and since his father, Howard Stark was a famous inventor he was REALLY rich.
Boomstick: When Tony took over the company, he began the lead supplier of weapons to the army.
Wiz: Until one day, terrorists kidnapped Tony during a weapons testing and held him hostage. So Tony had no choice but to build an iron suit and escape their camp. When he arrived back in New York, he became the Superhero, Iron Man.
Boomstick: That's a stupid name!
Wiz: Tony has a net worth of roughly 12.4 billion which lets him make tons of suits. His most used suit, Mod 13 has Superhuman strength that lets him lift 100 tons! He also has super speed.
Boomstick: The suit also can fly at Mach 10!!!
Wiz: The suit also has magnetism powers being able to pull metal objects towards him. But it also has anti-magnetism powers being able to resist the pull of Magneto, the master of magnetism himself!
Boomstick: This guy is so smart, it's crazy! His IQ is 195! That's 35 more points than Albert Einstein!
Wiz: Tony has built an artificial intelligence in his suit named J.A.R.V.I.S that tells him everything he needs to know about his opponent.
Boomstick: Iron Man can blast what he calls "Repulser Rays", that are pretty much really powerful lasers that are more than 360 degrees!
Wiz: But his most powerful blast is his Unibeam that he blasts from his chest that destroys pretty much everything in his path. But, the only problem with it is that it drains the suits power.
Boomstick: He has even more lasers too! I mean why does he have so many lasers?!
Wiz: Tony has an EMP blast that shuts down electronic devices. He also has an energy blade that cuts through most things and can make arm shields.
Boomstick: He's also got a CRAP ton of missiles and a special one of his decision called the anti-tank missile. It might look like nothing but it is very powerful.
Wiz: Tony's suit is very powerful but it's not his only suit. He can use J.A.R.V.I.S to call the Iron Legion, an AI operated group of Tony's suits. It has Mark 8 all the way up to 41.
Boomstick: He's also got the Hulkbuster, which you guessed it, was designed to fight marvels big green behemoth the Hulk. [1] Wiz: This increases his strength to be able to fight someone who can lift a 150 billion ton mountain!!! But his most powerful suit is called the Endosym Suit. It's made of a mixture of a Symbiote and liquid metal which he can summon telekinetically. [2] Boomstick: Because putting an alien on your body is smart...
Wiz: Anyway,the suit can absorb electromagnetic fields and make himself more powerful! The suit can even rebuild itself with nano-technology!
Boomstick: These suits sound pretty amazing!
Wiz: They are but suits run on a battery. He's also extremely overconfident that makes him lose some battles.
Boomstick: But he's still one of the smartest men on earth.
Iron Man: I am Iron Man.
Hulk[]
Wiz: Bruce Banner grew up with a very successful scientist as a father.
Boomstick: But his father was kinda crazy and was very abusive. He was so crazy that he killed Bruce's mother!!!!
Wiz: Luckily his aunt wasn't dead or crazy so she took him in and raised him. But, he created an imaginary friend called the Hulk who sometimes made Banner do some bad things.
Boomstick: Banner grew up and became super smart, even rivaling Tony Stark!
Wiz: General Ross then approached Banner asking him to work on a Gamma Bomb.
Boomstick: But then some kid was playing his harmonica in the testing zone! So Bruce went to go save him but then the bomb went off.
Wiz: Somehow, Bruce survived and now when he gets angry he turns into the Hulk! Because that's totally how that works! Anyway, Hulk has INSANE strength and can throw tanks and create earthquakes.
Boomstick: The angrier Hulk gets, the stronger he gets. This makes his strength virtually limitless!!!
Wiz: He's not kidding, Hulk can lift a 150 billion ton mountain and destroy an asteroid bigger than the earth with ONE PUNCH!
Boomstick: Hulk can do a Super Jump that can even let him reach orbit!
Wiz: Hulk has a "Thunder Clap" that creates a massive shock wave that destroys everything in his path.
Boomstick: Okay, I get it Wiz, Hulk is strong but how strong can he get?
Wiz: Hulk can reach his Woldbreaker Form where he's practically dripping with gamma radiation. I mean he's so powerful he caused an earthquake, by taking a step!!!!!
Boomstick: Ya, Hulk kinda loses his mind sometimes and destroys literally EVERYTHING!
Wiz: Hulk even has a healing factor that is close to Wolverine's and can regenerate in seconds! But Hulk is kinda stupid without Banner and acts like an angry child most of the time. But it's also possible to revert Hulk back to Banner.
Boomstick: But Hulk is still the strongest one there is.
Hulk: HULK SMASH!!!!!
Thor[]
Wiz: Every few thousand years, a cycle called Ragnarok happens on Asgard. But Odin the Allfather didn't like this so Thor, the god of thunder was created.
Boomstick: Being the son of Odin, Thor is incredibly powerful! But he once got his hammer Mjolnir taken away from him because he was too arrogant. It was eventually given back to Thor and then he joined the Avengers.
Wiz: Thor has super strength and can lift up to 1 million tons! He can also one-shot Abomination, knock out Namor, destroy planets with his fight with Gorr, and even threw a planet out of orbit! But this isn't even his most impressive feat. When the Midgard Serpent wrapped itself around the earth (2 times) Thor actually lifted it up. According to my calculations, the Midgard Serpent should weigh 324 quintillion tons!!!
Boomstick: HOLY CRAP!!!
Wiz: Thor swings his hammer Mjolnir near the speed of light which lets him have the power of flight. Thor also has Super durability making him completely bulletproof, capable of surviving the flames of hell, surviving in the sun, being hit by a Nuclear Missle & can shrug off attacks from Sentry, Scarlet Witch, Havok & even Thanos himself!
Boomstick: Thor has Superhuman stamina letting him fight for months without tiring!
Wiz: Thor's weapon of choice is a magical hammer called Mjolnir, translating to "Crusher". This enables Thor to fire blasts of lightning, control weather on a planetary scale, cause tidal waves, earthquakes & even Volcanic eruptions! It can even turn him Invisible and intangible!
Boomstick: Thor can fire the Godblast, a giant blast of energy that can injure Galactus & even kill the Midgard Serpent!
Wiz: Thor also wears the Belt of Megingjord that doubles his already impressively strength and stamina! But Thor doesn't really need his Hammer or belt because he can already blast lightning and cause hurricanes just by breathing really hard without his Arsenal!
Boomstick: Thor also has a Healing factor that can repair his injured wounds but sadly cannot grow back Thor's lost limbs.
Wiz: Thor can go into a stage called "Warriors madness" where his strength increases even more and makes him go crazy with power. He pretty much beats the crap out of everyone at this stage.
Boomstick: Thor is definitely one of the most powerful superheroes since he has taken on Thanos, Silver Surfer, Galactus & has even overpowered the Hulk!
Wiz: You do not want to make the God of thunder mad.
Thor: Have at thee!
Black Widow[]
Wiz: Born in Volgograd, Russia, Natasha Romanova, A.K.A the Black Widow, was an agent trained to be a spy, a martial artist, and sniper.
Boomstick: Wow, Russia sure is trying to make use of their chics.
Wiz: Anyway, she was equipped with an arsenal of high-tech weaponry, including the wrist-mounted "Widow's Bite".
Boomstick: Now that is a complete rip-off of Spidey himself.
Wiz: Far from it, as she does not have spider-powers as Spider-Man does, but she is quite the martial artist as she knows Karate, Judo, Kenpo, Jujutsu, Ninjitsu, Aikido, Savate, and several forms of Kung Fu and Boxing. She is also quite the expert marksman, weapon specialist, Espionage expert...
Boomstick: ...And Ballerina, I can already imagine her being in the "Nutcracker Suite", but with fucking guns and knives, that would be super awesome!
Wiz: With her body enhanced with biotechnology, it is impossible for her to age rapidly.
Boomstick: Now if only we could put that shit on all the world's hottest babes.
Wiz: Her agility can easily rival that of an Olympic athlete, and she is also a gifted intellect and tactician, making strategy making quite the breeze.
Boomstick: She has her set of special gauntlets that fire her signature 'Widow's Bite' move that fires an electrical energy blast that charges up to 30,000 volts, but that's not all these fancy gloves do, they can also unleash grappling hooks, knockout gasses, explosives, tear gas pellets, and even has a radio transmitter. Now if only it can also offer cans of beer.
Wiz: When she has what she needs, she will always be there to help her fellow Avengers.
Iron Man: Welcome aboard. Russian, huh?
Black Widow: Yes, darling.
Iron Man: Can you do me a favor and say "moose and squirrel"?
Black Widow: No.
Hawkeye[]
Wiz: Clinton Francis Barton was born to Harold and Edith Barton, he has a brother named Barney. Clint grew up working with his father Harold, in Harold's butchers shop in Waverly, Iowa.
Boomstick: It sucks that his dear old father got drunk and continues to be abusive, because of that he beat up poor Clint!
Wiz: Harold's drinking problem cost him his life along with his wife, they both died in car accident.
Boomstick: Aw... That's why I don't drink alcohol.
*Boomstick opens a can of beer and drinks it*
Wiz: But you just... nevermind, anyway his brother Barney taught him how to fight and improve his aim.
Boomstick: Clint and Barney were sent to foster homes while running away from one of them.
Wiz: While a member of the circus, he was trained by Jacques Duquesne and Buck Chisholm.
Boomstick: Never heard of them before.
Wiz: That was until he later found Jacques, also known as Swordsman, criminally steal the money from the carnival. Turns out they were actually villains! Before he could turn his own mentor in, he was left for dead, allowing his old mentor to escape town.
Boomstick: That is the worst mentor I ever seen.
Wiz: But soon Clint's relationship with his brother and Buck who's also known as Trickshot, would decline as well.
Boomstick: His brother? Why his brother? He was one of the best!
Wiz: So Clint adapted his archery skills to become a hero, a hero being called "Hawkeye."
Boomstick: When you think about it, he's not useless! He has excellent arrows, like glue, explosions, acid that can melt through steel, freezing arrows, and Adamantium arrows!
Wiz: Did you know he can push a car off himself with one arm?
Boomstick: Are you serious?
Wiz: Yup.
Boomstick: He survived getting hit by many bullets and was hospitalized recovery for six weeks, damn how can he survive that?
Wiz: Even if he runs out of arrows, his martial arts are the only chance.
Boomstick: Hawkeye is an archer you don't want to mess with, he has better aim.
Hawkeye: Tick tick boom.
Spider-Man[]
Wiz: Peter Parker's parents died at a young age so he was taken in by his Aunt May and Uncle Ben.
Boomstick: Peter was a regular teenager who had a small group of friends and got picked on by the school jock, Flash Thompson.
Wiz: Until one day on a field trip, Peter was bit by a radioactive spider and got the powers of a spider. And so the first thing he did, was become a wrestler.
Boomstick: But then his uncle shot.
Wiz: And with uncle ben's dying words, "with great power, comes great responsibility" Peter became the superhero, Spider-Man.
Boomstick: SPIDER-MAN, SPIDER-MAN DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER CAN!
Wiz: Spider-Man is strong enough to lift the Daily Bugle which weighs more than 4 tons! But his record lift is 10 tons, that's 20,000 pounds! He can also hurt Rhino & Hulk!
Boomstick: He's durable enough to take hits from Venom (the guy who lifted a Ferris wheel). But his most impressive feat is surviving a beating from X-Men member Colossus...with the PHOENIX FORCE!!!
Wiz: Spidey has INSANE agility and can avoid Cyclops' optic blasts & even Electro's lighting! He also has near superhuman speed being able to run at 200mph. He also can crawl on walls, like an actual spider!
Boomstick: He also has a really overpowered Spider-Sense that warns him when danger is coming. It can also detect if someone is lying, sense invisible opponents & know when someone is teleporting.
Wiz: Peter has made his own fighting style called "The Way of the Spider" which has even impressed Captain America and Iron Fist. He's even beat Daredevil and Spider-Woman with it.
Boomstick: Wait, Wiz, I got a question.
Wiz: Ya?
Boomstick: If Peter has the powers of a Spider, does he shoot webs out of his butt?
Wiz: No! Why would you think that!? Anyway, his webs are not organic but Peter has created what he calls his "Web Slingers" which can let him swing from building to building. He can also trap opponents in webbing.
Boomstick: The devices even let him make Web shields and parachutes. He can even shoot taser webs and little trackers.
Wiz: Spider-Man is one of the most popular superheroes on the planet and has a wonderful sense of humor. He also has a massive rogues gallery. But when some threat too big for Spider-Man comes along, he is sometimes granted the powers of Captain Universe.
Boomstick: This makes Spider-Man as powerful as Superman!
Wiz: Eh... well he does have a vast set of powers:
Captain Universe powers-
- Able to see things on a subatomic level
- Flight
- Energy blasts
- Controlling Weather
- Make constructs out of webs
- Can turn webs into Vibrianuim and Adamantium
- Electricity Blasts
- Matter Manipulation
- Super Strength (Beat up the Hulk)
- Super Speed (Can move at the speed of light)
Boomstick: HOLY CRAP!!!
Wiz: With these powers, Spider-Man has defeated The Hulk, Magneto, and the Tri-sentinel. But sadly after the hero's heroic deed is done, his powers leave him making him regular Spider-Man. But you don't want to underestimate the web-slinger.
Spider-Man: I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!
The Seven[]
Homelander[]
Wiz: His origin is one we've all heard: A young boy falls out of the sky, not a spaceship to his name, but even so...he fell into a prairie.
Boomstick: 'Murica!
Wiz: The truth is that he is not an alien, rather he is a man that was given extreme amounts of Compound V from the time he was a fetus. His mother was a mentally challenged woman who was killed off as soon as he was born. And instead of having a childhood filled with ice cream and throwing balls with dad, he mostly grew up sheltered away from society in a lab.
Boomstick: Huh. Sounds like the perfect environment for making a psychopath.
Wiz: He has heat and x-ray vision, has tanked a sword slash from Queen Maeve to the head; which broke her sword! He's capable of moving and flying at speeds up to Mach 3. And he has a sonic scream strong enough make the ears of dozens bleed
Boomstick: That said, the dude is a damn egomaniac.
Wiz: That is true. Homelander is the strongest person on the planet and as such, he enjoys being able to do anything that he wants and feels. Whenever he doesn't get his way, he's prone to becoming filled with short-sighted rage.
Boomstick: That short-sighted rage can be very useful in the heat of a battle, though. Came in handy for me many times in the past, especially when it came to...
Wiz: Please—don't.
Homelander: You are dispensable, which means you answer to me...
Queen Maeve[]
Wiz: Her cover story, which is apparently believed by most people, is that she is the 'Empress of the Netherworld'.
Boomstick: In reality though, she was grown from conception in Vought American's laboratories, dosed with Compound V.
Wiz: She admits that when she first joined The Seven that she was also genuinely wanting to make a difference and be a real superhero but over time she has become jaded and complacent with the corruption at Vought. She occasionally shows concern for others and helps when it's possible and will maintain her public image. She displayed genuine sadness and remorse after not being able to save a hijacked plane.
Boomstick: She can power through a ton of pain, like when all the bones in her arms shattered while saving a school bus full of kids. She's bulletproof, can snap necks with the flick of a finger, and destroyed a moving truck by standing in its way.
Wiz: While she isn't as powerful as Homelander, Queen Maeve maintains her status as one of the heavyweights of the Seven.
Black Noir[]
Boomstick: The Batman of the Seven.
Wiz: Well yes but actually no. He not only has top-notch martial arts skills like Batman, but he also has super strength and heightened senses.
Boomstick: Batman could have those too if the plot demanded it.
Wiz: ...anyways, criminals run in terror at the mere mention of his name. Little is known about this lethal warrior, other than having trained with a master Sensei to become the death dealer he is at present. Whatever lies behind Black Noir’s mask is a complete mystery – which only makes him more terrifying. Even Homelander respects him.
'Boomstick: Black Noir has easily overwhelmed The Boys and Starlight in battle, tanked Naqib's kamikaze attack, and took on several 'makeshift bombs at point-blank range without even flinching.
Wiz: He's also masterfully adept at using daggers and can match Cap's feat of outrunning cars.
Boomstick: You better not give him an Almond Joy, though. He's allergic to nuts.
Wiz: That's right. And while he is the most learned hand-to-hand fighter on the team, Queen Maeve has been able to hold him in a lock.
Boomstick: Nevertheless, Noir is a fucking badass.
A-Train[]
Wiz: From since Reggie Franklin was a boy, he was outrunning bullets.
Boomstick: Hi. My name is Reggie Franklin and I'm the fastest man alive.
Wiz: Really Boomstick?
Boomstick: What? I thought the reference fit.
Wiz: *sighs* Reggie is a speedster who used to be a part of a team known as Teenage Kix but is now a member of The Seven.
Boomstick: The former athlete turned superhero has a wide range of feats including: Creating sonic booms when running, being able to sprint at freakin' 371 meters per second, and once searched through all of Manhattan in 30 minutes.
Wiz: And for those of you who aren't familiar with the metric system, that's about 829.903 miles per hour.
Boomstick: On top of that, it's been shown that's he able to reach speeds of up to 1,000 miles.
Wiz: But even with all of that said, A-Train does suffer from one significant drawback.
Boomstick: Yeah, Reggie is a bit of a drug addict.
Wiz: Underneath the cavalier exterior of a celebrity superhero lies the soul of a mortal athlete, with a deep insecurity about staying at the top. He’ll do whatever it takes to remain in The Seven. Even if that means taking more doses of Compound V to remain fastest man on the planet.
Boomstick: Over time, he's been shown to suffer from severe heart palpitations from abusing Compound V when he tries to run every now and again.
Wiz: But other than that, A-Train is a blue speeding machine.
A-Train: Maybe I can't turn invisible, but I am the world's fastest man. Like, I can outrun anybody or anything.
Stormfront[]
Wiz: Stormfront: A supe whose public persona as an edgy, trendy and virtuous hero is a facade for her recklessness, racism, and sadistic tendencies.
Boomstick: I freakin' hated this bitch. But why do I feel... attracted to her?
Wiz: Ummm. Let's get back on the subject. Klara Risinger was born in Berlin, Germany in 1919 and by 1933 Klara Risinger was seen to be in social gatherings of the National Socialist German Workers Party members, including Adolf Hitler, Heinrich Himmler and Joseph Goebbels.
Boomstick: Oh my god! I'm attracted to a Nazi!
Wiz: No, you're not. Now, during her time in Germany, she was married to Frederick Vought, who gave her the first successful injection of Compound V along with a daughter, Chloe. This made her the first supe in the world.
Boomstick: After moving to America with her husband as part of Operation Paperclip at the end of World War Two, when the US Government Took in leading Nazi Scientists, Klara operated as the racist superhero "Liberty" in the 70s.
Wiz: Later on in the present, she joined the Seven under her current name "Stormfront" as a supe who surpassed even Homelander's popularity.
Boomstick: She can create plasma and electrical blasts strong enough to send people through concrete walls.
Wiz: She can use her electrical powers to fly and Stormfront was able to comfortably fend off Starlight and Kimiko at the same time.
Boomstick: And Stormfront has a healing factor as she was able to take a sustained heat blast from Homelander which began to heal almost instantly.
Wiz: Her regenerative ability is with limits, however, as she was critically wounded by Ryan's heat blast.
Boomstick: *takes a deep breath*
Wiz: Ugh.
Stormfront: You... You can't win the whole country anymore. No one can. So why are you even trying? You don't need 50 million people to love you. You need five million people fucking pissed. Emotion sells, anger sells. You have fans, I have soldiers.
The Deep[]
Wiz: Ever since he was nine years old, The Deep had been hearing every aquatic animal speak to him. At every aquarium, every beach, and every Red Lobster he heard their voices crying out to him. He thought he was going crazy, however, his mother lied to him, calling it a gift and that he was just born that way.
Boomstick: Now he's a member of the Seven who is only wanted around when there's danger at sea.
Wiz: The Deep shows a full command of the creatures of the deep. Haha. He was able to leap off a giant boat into the water and survive unscathed. He has also claimed to have swum in the Mariana Trench, which has a water pressure of 8 tons per square inch, or 1000 times the standard atmospheric pressure at sea level, on the ocean floor.
Boomstick: The Deep possesses a hybrid set of human lungs and aquatic gills enabling him to not only breathe on land but also underwater for as long as he likes. His gills have proven to be a physical weakness if anything is shoved inside of them causing him great pain, which kinda allowed a woman to sexually assault him when she stuck her fingers inside.
Wiz: Yeah... those gills act as both a source of strength and weakness.
The Deep: Oh, wow. What a surprise. A water crime.
Starlight[]
Wiz: Annie January was just a Midwestern girl who's dream was to save the world.
Boomstick: So when she was accepted in as the Seven's newest member, it was literally a dream come true.
Wiz: Unfortunately, over time she came to realize who the Seven really were.
Boomstick: Yeah, never meet your heroes.
Wiz: Her trademark ability is being able to absorb electricity in order to project it into an offensive blast.
Boomstick: These blasts have shown to be able to kill people and overcome heavy objects.
Wiz: Like a six-foot thick metal door!
Boomstick: Add on to the electrical wizardry, she also has super strength.
Wiz: She can easily punch holes through brick walls, can withstand .50 caliber bullets, and while Starlight would bleed from that, she can recover relatively quickly.
Boomstick: And she can lift the back of a car weighing around the ballpark of 3,567-3,591 pounds.
Wiz: Which would mean that she can lift up to around 2 tons.
Boomstick: Starlight makes a strong addition to the team.
Wiz: Even she's seen as the black sheep.
DEATH BATTLE![]
Cambridge, Massachusetts
April 8th, 2021
1:28 PM
Warm spring day. The Avengers had learned that the high-ranking Skrull operative, Lundagg, was planning to steal a cutting-edge technology being newly presented at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
Black Widow sat at a bench on campus, straw hat on, civilian attire, and not too far away from the action. Far away perched on top of another building stood Iron Man, looking down upon Black Widow's position.
"Being back on your old stomping grounds, brings back a certain fuzzy nostalgia, doesn't it?" Tony pondered out loud on comms.
Natasha thought back to her days in the Red Room Academy. It was anything but fuzzy.
"Not really," she replied.
Captain America remained in an unmarked armored car, being the closest to the presentation. He saw a crowd of people, a mix of young adult students and older adults. Cap then saw a group of men, all in white lab coats, unveil what looked like a hyper futuristic ion cannon.
The technology, however, was actually made to optimize commercial air travel. Made to make the common airplane faster and more fuel-efficient. Unfortunately, it was capable of being repurposed for weapon use and the Avengers could not let Lundagg get in on that.
Speak of the devil, Cap may have just found their main guy. Bald, green eyes, thick beard, and in a black suit, trying to play off his identity with a human guise. About a dozen other Skrulls posing as humans followed their leader.
"They're here," Cap said. "About 3,000 feet away at my 8 o'clock."
"Got it," Tony and Natasha said in unison.
Lundagg stopped his approach and looked up at the sky. You could see that it written all over his face that he knew he was being watched. He nodded to one of his compatriots.
The Skrulls launched a drone into the air. It charted its path toward the presentation and was ready to open fire on the audience. But Iron Man intercepted it with a missile, blowing the drone to smithereens. This threw the audience into an upheaval. He flew down to them, holding out an arm.
"Love the suits," Tony said.
"Our business does not concern you, shellhead," Lundagg retorted.
"Oof, I've heard better insults at a retirement home."
The Skrulls then transformed into their true selves while materializing their plasma rifles. This caused the audience to fill the air with fright and terror.
Nothing could've prepared the Avengers for what happened next. In the blink of an eye, one of the Skrulls became a mush of guts and blood. Then it happened again with another Skrull, and then one more time with yet another.
The audience ran away from the scene like a crazed mob. The remaining Skrulls were on their knees begging for mercy. But Tony was too caught up wiping off the blood from his armor. Traumatized.
A-Train then suddenly sped onto the scene. Soon after, the rest of the Seven filed in. Homelander, Queen Maeve, Black Noir, Stormfront, The Deep, and Starlight.
"Steve, mission just went south," Natasha relayed with subtle breaks in her voice.
He didn't respond out of utter shock. Once he got himself together, Steve said, "I didn't think we'd need them for this op. But send in the Hulk, Thor, and Spider-Man."
Starlight was the only one of the Seven that was clearly horrified by the sudden slaughter of the three Skrulls. Maeve was slightly unnerved but that was it.
Homelander stepped forward and picked up Lundagg with just one arm. "Now look at where your shapeshifting abilities got you. You fucking superterrorist. This is it for you and your posse..."
"Hey, I don't mean to interrupt your villainous monologue, but this isn't how superheroes operate!" Tony exclaimed.
Homelander only gave a slight chuckle before saying to the Seven, "Finish this."
Right at that moment, the slaughter continued. Every Seven member, besides Starlight, contributed to killing Skrulls until Lundagg was the only one left.
Captain America and Black Widow made their moves onto the scene, backing up Iron Man. Rumblings could be heard in the background as Spidey, Hulk, Thor, and Hawkeye also came in for support. They all horrifically marveled at the bloodbath that was in front of them.
"Iron Man is right, there's a process to safeguarding peace," Cap said. "Doing this makes us no better than the people we fight back against."
Stormfront got up in Steve's face and flat out said, "Your style of superheroics is outdated, gramps. The reason why the guys you fight keep coming back is that you don't put them down for good. This green trash is never going to stop hurting people."
"You don't know that."
"I do, actually. Educate yourself."
Spidey saw Starlight looking at the ground, ashamed of what she's a part of. He softly professed, "I see you. You don't have to be a part of this."
Homelander's eyes simmered with heat.
"She's with us!"
He then lit up Lundagg's head like a firework and then dropped the Skrull's seething body on the ground.
Homelander's eyes still red, he uttered, "Let's see who the real heroes are."
FIGHT!
It was an epic clash. Homelander fired his heat vision at Iron Man to which the Armored Avenger barely avoided. Homelander's heat vision followed Iron Man until the Hulk smashed the caped hero away.
The Deep performed a double cartwheel kick on Thor followed up with a backflip kick. All of which did nothing to him. Thor then gave The Deep a single swat with Mjolnir which launched him into the bay nearby campus.
Spider-Man struggled against A-Train as the speedster hit him left, right, and center at hundreds of miles per hour. A-Train stopped and then said, "You guys wanna give up yet?"
Spidey tried to web up his feet in that instance. A-Train saw the web close in on him at snail speed. He simply sidestepped it and then gave the webhead a swift uppercut.
"Thor! Spider-Man needs assistance!" Cap yelled out as he blocked daggers from Black Noir.
"Aye!" he replied. "Heads up, Man of Spiders!"
The God of Thunder imbued himself with lightning and just as A-Train was about to kill Spider-Man, the speedster was blown away by the burst of lightning. Spider-Man breathed a sigh of relief and then webbed up A-Train's hands & feet.
Hulk smashed Homelander down on the ground, again and again, Loki-style. The Green Avenger then threw the dazed Homelander up for Iron Man to fire his chest beam against him.
Queen Maeve struck Thor from behind, leaving behind a fair blow on him. However, he managed to get back up before she was able to go for the head.
Captain America managed to hold his own against Black Noir until he was double-teamed once Starlight came to Noir's aid. She blasted Cap with an electric discharge. Then once Cap was down, Black Noir threw two daggers at critical areas on Cap's abdomen. The Star-Spangled Avenger started bleeding but still got up; surprising Black Noir and Starlight.
"Guys, I think these people are out for blood," Iron Man said over comms while in the sky. "I know it's not our MO but... maybe we need to eliminate these guys for good. They're not gonna stop until we're also fresh meat like those Skrulls."
Cap understood Iron Man's sentiment, and very begrudgingly, agreed with it at this point. He sighed saying, "Use of deadly force is authorized."
Hawkeye then fired an arrow from the distance which Black Noir caught. But then the trick arrow exploded, catapulting him and Starlight several feet back. Cap caught Noir and put him into a headlock. "Stop. I don't want to have to do this," Cap said as Noir struggled to break free.
The bay became violent with waves. Soon after, one could see The Deep riding on a whale with packs of sharks by his side.
"What the hell?" Black Widow said.
The whale and the sharks jumped high into the sky before falling onto the campus turned battleground. The Avengers managed to avoid all the invading sharks. But the whale crushed the building that Hawkeye stood under, causing him to perish.
6-7
"Clint?" Black Widow said with tears in her eyes.
"JARVIS," Iron Man said.
"Yes, sir?"
"Upgrade to Model Prime."
Thor and Maeve clashed their weapons until his Mjolnir broke her sword. He grabbed her up close and yelled, "You killed one of ours!" He threw her back and then raised his hammer skyward. A storm brewed and circled down to Thor's standing. He accumulated a strong surge of lightning and then laid it all on Maeve, which eventually killed her.
6-6
"Oh, shit," The Deep said, surprised at his teammate's death.
Once Homelander saw Queen Maeve perished, he snapped out of his daze. He focused all of his energy on her killer. Homelander gave Thor his most powerful dose of heat vision ever. It was so strong that the God of Thunder became overridden with flames.
Cap tried throwing his shield at Homelander, first at the body and then the head. Neither of which did anything. Spider-Man webbed up Homelander's arm from above but he simply yanked Spidey down. He tore threw Spider-Man's mask and ripped out his left eye, all the while maintaining heat vision on Thor.
It wasn't until Hulk swatted Homelander away that the heat vision stopped. But the damage was already done. Thor was down.
5-6
Stormfront got A-Train out of his bondage then gave Hulk a dosage of electricity, confusing him. "Big boys should learn how to play nice!" she said before knocking Hulk into the presentation stage; destroying the hyper futuristic jet engine.
"It's not looking good down there, sir," JARVIS reported.
"Status update?" Iron Man made back.
"Upgrade finished."
"Let's kick their asses."
Iron Man charged a beam with both of his gauntlets and four amplifiers. Then he fired it unto The Deep and Black Noir. Incinerating them both.
5-4
Stormfront went ballistic. Forget about the Hulk. She flew up to Iron Man and immediately struck him with a huge blast of electricity.
"Thanks, honey!" he remarked.
He returned her attack twofold, burning the flesh off of her skin. Stormfront fell to the ground badly burnt and critically wounded. And before she could do anything else, Captain America finished the job by decapitating her with his shield.
5-3
Black Widow engaged Starlight in an extended H2H fight. As they fought, Black Widow tried to convince Starlight that it still wasn't too late to turn away from this mess. However, the fight came to an abrupt halt once A-Train quickly impaled his hand through Widow's abdomen. She crumpled to the ground from excessive blood loss.
"What are you pulling your punches for?" he asked a crestfallen Starlight.
She broke down and said, "I can't do this anymore! We're murderers, not heroes."
"Hey! Yooooohooo!"
Spider-Man taunted A-Train to come for him. Terrible idea with only one functioning eye. However, Spidey noticed that his Spider-Sense felt even more powerful after partially losing his sense of sight. "Now I kinda have an idea what Mr. Murdock goes through."
A-Train took the bait and ran to the webhead... and missed. Spider-Man jumped at the frame-perfect moment to take out his legs.
Spider-Man stood over a bound A-Train.
"You and your cohorts are a danger to everyone in this world," he said. "But even so, I still hate doing this so much."
"Wait wait wait!"
Spider-Man crushed A-Train's chest with a single blow.
5-2
Iron Man flew down to Widow's position to heal her mortal wound.
"It's gonna be alright. I'm gonna patch you up."
"It's alright, Tony," she weakly answered. "Just finish the fight."
"Chances of survival is 36% and dropping," JARVIS reported.
She was unlikely to survive but Iron Man nonetheless patched up her wound and demanded her not to move. But it was looking like she had that already covered. Widow was motionless.
4-2
Iron Man smashed the ground in anger. Starlight was nowhere to be found and then suddenly, Homelander rose up again. Bloodied and mad.
He softly said, "I'm going to fucking kill every... last... one of you."
"Little man funny! Hulk strongest one there is!"
Homelander slowly turned to Hulk and smirked while nodding. Moments later, he punched the Hulk through several buildings. And again. And again. Until most of the campus became indistinguishable from a warzone.
The Green Avenger bled everywhere but still was able to put up a fight. Iron Man then shot Homelander away with a repulsor blast.
"You make Bizarro look like Mr. Chips," Tony relayed.
"Don't know who the hell Mr. Chips is, but I agree."
He quickly grabbed Iron Man by the neck and flew him up into the atmosphere. As he did that, Homelander battered Tony's armor.
"Pretty nifty suit. It really is true that anybody can become a superhero nowadays. Even non-Supes like you."
The armor's regenerative capabilities were the only thing keeping Tony alive, but even that had its limits.
Hulk journeyed back to where Captain America and Spider-Man was. All hopeless to help their armored friend. Seemingly...
"Peter, are you still able to fight?" Cap asked.
"I'm real banged up, but yeah."
"How about you, Hulk? Are you still angry?"
"Hulk very angry!"
Cap nodded then said, "Me too. I've got a plan."
Homelander took Iron Man all the way out to space. Right as he would kill Iron Man with heat vision, the Armored Avenger transformed his gauntlets into miniature battering rams; hitting Homelander square in the face.
He then shot his heat vision, clashing with Iron Man's repulsor beam.
"The suit cannot sustain this attack much longer, sir."
"I'm not going down without a fight."
Out of nowhere, Homelander was smacked upside the head by Mjolnir and then forcefully brought back down to the Earth.
"You son of a bitch," Tony said as he followed Homelander.
The leader of the Seven was destined for critical impact, not being able to move Thor's hammer.
The remaining three Avengers cleared the area before Homelander and Mjolnir made impact. Cap then outstretched his hand and Mjolnir came to him.
"Everyone, pile on him," he said.
Captain America, Spider-Man, Hulk, and Starlight went in for the crater site and curb-stomped Homelander into a pulp for several minutes until he was finally dead.
Afterward, Iron Man rejoined his fellow Avengers at the surface as well as the rogue Seven member, Starlight.
"My old stomping grounds have seen better days."
4-1
KO!
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: Damn, that was a bloodbath. Peter's freakin' eye got ripped out!
Wiz: The Seven don't exactly hold the same moral compass as the Avengers did.
Boomstick: Combine their ruthlessness with their powers and you'll find that they had the raw power to waste the Avengers.
Wiz: Yep, rage and brutality can be huge assets in a no-holds-barred fight. But they can only take you so far against more thoroughly strategic opponents.
Boomstick: Oh yeah, my marriage taught me that much.
Wiz: Wait, what?
Boomstick: A story for another time, Wiz. A story for another time.
Wiz: Yeah, get back to me on that. Now, even though the Seven have shown ruthless power again and again, they are also often found in discord with one another. A good portion of the team aren't even in it for the greater good but for money and stardom. Combined that with Homelander's incredible instability and Starlight's traitorous tendencies and you have a completely dysfunctional team. The Seven may have scored some early victories due to blindsiding their opponents.
Boomstick: But once the Avengers got the download, things began to flip.
Wiz: The Avengers are a group of superheroes that have gone up against powerful supervillains such as Ultron, the Masters of Evil, Loki, Thanos, Kang the Conqueror & won against them. Why? Because their hallmark strength is being able to come up with a tactical plan and fight like a cohesive team. They've fared well against otherworldly villains that the Seven can, in some aspects, only dream of.
Boomstick: In the end, the Seven were overcome by their more united counterparts.
Wiz: The winners are the Avengers.