Intro[]
Boomstick: Warrior and murderers come in all shapes and sizes, not all of them have to be human.
Wiz: And these two unique fighters are living proof.
Boomstick: The Terminator, the literal killing machine of the future
Wiz: And Scorpion, the ninja of the Netherrealm.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to determine their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
The Terminator[]
Wiz: In the distant future of 2004, the government launched their first automated defence system to protect every on the earth. They called it, Skynet.
Boomstick: But because it's an 80s sci-fi movie, Skynet used the world's nuclear weapons to kill the humans. The age of robots had begun.
Wiz: However, those who somehow survived the blasts joined together against the resistance to Skynet, their leader was John Conner.
Boomstick: Remember that because it's pretty dang important.
Wiz: In order to deal with the remaining humans, Skynet created a series of artificial soldiers that were sent only with one purpose: to kill the remaining members of the human race.
Boomstick: And these sweet badasses of death were called, The Terminator. Now technically there's been a ton of different Terminators over the series, but we're mainly sticking with the classic t-850 model Terminator.
Wiz: The T-850 terminator was sent to kill John Conner by killing his mother. Then programmed to protect John, and protect him again...weirdly inconsistent.
Boomstick: The T-850 model usually comes equipped with the M-27 Phased Plasma Rifle, which is too heavy and powerful for any normal human to use. When the time period doesn't have plasma guns, he carries the AMT Hardballer .45 Longslide, a gun with a laser sighting. The Franchi SPAS-12 Shotgun with semi and auto settings, The M79 Grenade Launcher with has a maximum range of over 1000 ft and of course the Handheld GE M134 Minigun with over 3000 ft of range.
Wiz: The Terminator is also a constantly learning and adapting machine, even being able to learn to be sad. But where does all this power come from? The Terminator is powered by twin-hydrogen fuels cells. A single cell can last up to 120 years but can be damaged enough to explode like a small hydrogen bomb.
Boomstick: Fortunately for the Terminator, he can ditch a damaged cell and run just fine with just the one. The Terminator has escaped liquid nitrogen twice, got dragged through a building and has beaten the crap out of "superior models"
Wiz: This includes the T-X, who was designed to be the Terminator's superior in every way. But for all his strength, the terminator is not perfect. His systems are often hacked, his disguise isn't fool proof and there have been plenty of times where the terminators' endoskeleton has been destroyed, like the hydraulic press.
Boomstick: But if you ever get in the way of this beautiful machine, don't bother running. You're already dead and he'll be back!
Scorpion[]
Wiz: Raised under the watchful and firey eyes of the Shirai Ryu, Hanzo Hasashi was easily one of their deadliest warriors.
Boomstick: But before any of that happened, he used to be a normal kid who's own dad was an assassin.
Wiz: And being a decent parent he was, his father told Hanzo never to join the ninja clan.
Boomstick: But in the future, he needed some way to support his family and himself. So he broke his dad's gear and quickly became a ninja assassin. However, things didn't go so well.
Wiz: When scorpion turned a blind eye, his wife and kid were frozen in ice. Who else was responsible but the Shirai Ryu's natural ninja rivel, the Lin Kuei.
Boomstick: Poor kid, first his dad told him he could never be cool and now his family is even cooler than he is...too soon?
Wiz: Enraged by Sub-Zero, he managed to make a deal with the Outworld sorcerer Quan Chi. Scorpion was resurrected as a phantom of hell in exchange for loyalty to Quan Chi.
Boomstick: And here's when thing's start getting tricky. So turns out that Sub-Zero was actually innocent and the person who took his family's life was Quan Chi. Dude this guy seriously can't catch a break. Plus, he only realised this AFTER he killed Bi-Han, I think we just found the Dan Hibiki of Mortal Kombat in terms of luck.
Wiz: Questionable luck aside, Scorpion is a power house. He's trained in various forms of martial arts including Ninjutsu. Scorpion also possess a Kunai blade on a rope, the closest real life example is the rope dart.
Boomstick: Plus Scorpion can summon Hellfire and burn his enemies to a crisp. He's even able to keep up with the thunder god Raiden.
Wiz: Scorpion is also capable of powering through Sub-Zero's ice beams, chop diamond and titanium statues with his bare hands, and is fast enough to catch Lighting. That's over Mach 1,000.
Boomstick: He's even kept the same speed as Sub-Zero who can outpace explosions.
Wiz: Since explosions move at Mach 23, this does support Scorpion's lighting catching feat.
Boomstick: Plus Scorpion is so skilled at the rope dart, he can headshot a guy flying in a helicopter. He sounds unbeatable.
Wiz: If only. Scorpion is hot headed and could be lead into traps. But not even that stops the fiery rage of the ninja from hell!
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!