Sometimes, the greatest of fighters are ones you cannot see, or ones who are make themselves known for their great strength worldwide.
INTRO[]
Wiz: To be the best, you must gain not only your abilities, but the people's trust. Our combatants in this case, do just that.
Boomstick: Like John Cena, the famous WWE wrestler.
Wiz: And Tenya Iida, the engine quirked hero of My Hero Academia.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to figure out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
IIDA IS INGENIUS IN DEATH BATTLE[]
Wiz: In the world of My Hero Academia, powers are amazing and full variety.
Boomstick: I think that's kinda obvious, Wiz. There's a kid who has a TANK CANNON IN HIS MOUTH. Saying that powers are full of variety is like saying air is invisible. It's kinda fucking obivous.
Wiz: What about being born with rocket legs?
Boomstick: Now, were burning down a house with whiskey.
Wiz: This is the power, or quirk of the Iida family and the family of The Turbo Hero Ingenium and his brother, Tenya.
Boomstick: Tenya always wanted to be like his brother and decided to be a hero with his quirk: Engine!
Wiz: Engine is a quirk where one is born with engines in their legs and can be controlled with his mind, kind of like a prothstetic. I think that's probably an accurate description.
Boomstick: But in short, it's a badass power where you can run faster and kick the shit out of someone really, really badly.
Wiz: That's... rather violent. However, you are partually right. He can use his legs to run faster and kick harder. One move that allows him to do that is the Recipro Burst, that makes him incredibly fast for ten seconds. But his legs need to cool down afterwards.But this does put a toll on Tenya's body via heating up his leg engines, and can also probably burn him
.
Boomstick: But before that crap happens, he can do some crazy as-fuck-shit.
Wiz: In a way, yes. Tenya:
- Destroyed a robot with a single kick.
- Carried a giant fake bomb with ease.
- Nearly paralyzed Shoto Todoroki with a single kick.
- Smashed a giant dirt monster with no trouble.
- Burts through a solid wall by running through it.
- Ran 50 meters in just over three seconds.
- Caught a knife and threw it back.
- Dodged landmines.
- Evaded enemy attacks from villains while carrying Kiroshima and Bakugo.
- And was impaled in both arms and acted like nothing happened.
Boomstick: HOW?! HOW THE FUCK ARE HIS ARMS STILL ATTACHED?!?
Wiz: It's an anime. He just walked it off.
Boomstick: My leg hasn't grown back. How do you explain that?
Wiz: That's not how that works.
Boomstick: I've been walking this shit off for years!
Stain Defeat My Hero Academia-1
Wiz: Well, you did that to yourself.
Boomstick: Fuck you.
Wiz: Anyway, Iida can at times be consumed by rage and fear, he can and will do everything in his power to conquer his enemies and bring justice to his family and the people who live in his city.
Boomstick: Except for Stain.
DEATH BATTLE CANNOT SEE JOHN CENA[]
Wiz: What can be said about John Cena that hasn't been said?
Boomstick: The fact that he is a goddamn national treasure?!
Wiz: Or the fact that he's overpowered for a WWE wrestler?
Boomstick: Nah. He's just right.
Wiz: What does that even mean?
Boomstick: If you don't get it, your loss.
Wiz: John Felix Anthony Cena was the son of Carol and John Cena Sr. In 1999, he dominated the wrestling ring, but didn't rise to the top like he does now.
Boomstick: Yeah, how the hell does that work?!
Wiz: Well, he did work hard to get up to where he is. That's the best we can all do.
Boomstick: Like getting enough powers to defeat universe destroyers?!
Wiz: Yes...?
Boomstick: He doesn't have powers, does he?
Wiz: Well, he does have an extreme amount of stamina. Among his many skills, he has managed to add these moves to his arsenal:
- The DDT,
- The Tornado DDT--
Boomstick: Get out of the way Wiz! This bastard has the moves to take on the wrestling ring ten times over with moves like:
- The DDT, a move where Cena PLOWS HIS FELLOW FUCKING OPPONENTS INTO THE RING AND BUSTS THE FLOOR WITH THEIR FACES!!!
- The Tornado DDT lets Cena climb on the rope AND FUCKING WRECKS THE POOR SHIT-STAIN OF A WRESTLER HE FIGHTS!!
- Cena also uses the Dropkick, WHERE HE JUMPS UP AND KICKS THE TEETH OUT OF HIS OPPONENT'S FACE WITH BOTH OF HIS FEET!!!
- Using the most badass finishing move used before by the WWE LEGEND, HULK HOGAN, Cena has used THE LEG DROPPER, WHERE HE JUMPS AND SITS ON HIS FOES TILL IT HURTS!!
- Then Cena has the SPINEBUSTER, WHERE HE PICKS UP HIS OPPONENTS BY THEIR LEGS AND DROPS THOSE FUCKERS LIKE A SACK OF BRICKS!!!
- Next up is the SPRINGBOARD STUNNER. Cena JUMPS OFF THE FUCKING ROPES AND GRABS HIS OPPONENT'S NECK AND FUCKING AND THROWS THEIR HEAD INTO THE FLOOR OVER HIS GODDAMN SHOULDER!!
- After that, we've got the RKO OUTTA NOWHERE, WHERE CENA JUMPS UP, GRABS HIS OPPONENT AS HE COMES DOWN AND SLAMS THEM INTO THE GODDAMN GROUND!!
- Now we've got the GODDAMN SPIN-OUT POWERBOMB, where Cena picks up his FUCKING OPPONENT AND SPINS AROUND THEN DROPS THAT SON OF A BITCH INTO THE FLOOR!! YEAH, GODDAMN IT!!
- Afterwards, Cena pulls up THE ONE HANDED BULLDOG!! HE RUNS PAST HIS FOE, BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES AND CLOTHLINES THE FUCKER FROM BEHIND!! FUCK YEAH!!
- THEN CENA USES THE FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLES SUCKER PUNCHES ANY SAD BASTARD ON THE FLOOR!!
- With the STF, CENA WRAPS HIS ARM AROUND HIS OPPONENT'S NECK AND PULLS THEM UP WHILE PRETTY MUCH STRANGLING THEM!!
- NEXT, Cena climbs on the outside of the ropes, JUMPS OFF, FLIPS HIS OPPPONENT'S ON THEIR BACK AND BEATS THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF THEM WITH OF FLIPS!!
- Finally, we have the Attitude Adjustment, Cena picks up his opponent and carries over his shoulder.
Wiz: Doesn't sound too bad..
Boomstick: ONLY TO FUCKING THROWS THEM OVER HIS LEFT SHOULDER INTO THE GODDAMN FLOOR!! FUCKING HELL YES!!
Wiz: Are you done yet?
Boomstick: Sorry. WWE's kind of my thing. Trust me, I know this stuff by heart. Like the fact that:
- Cena has won 25 championships, 16 as world champion.
- Deadlifted 602 pounds.
- Lifted giants such as: Mark Henry, Big Daddy V, Big Show and others.
- Buried the Wyatt family,
- Kicked the shit out of:
- Triple H,
- Brock Lesnar,
- Kane,
- Randy Orton,
- Kurt Angle,
- Edge
- and kicked the shit out of Big Show a few times.
Wiz: Well, you've forgotten a couple of feats, like when he lifted a giant, building sized boulder and even lifted the Mystery Machine with little to no effort.
John Cena Meme Original
Boomstick: When the hell did that happen?!
Wiz: You never saw that Scooby Doo and WWE movie?
Boomstick: Wait, that's a thing?!
Wiz: That's a suprise. I thought you loved WWE.
Boomstick: One of these days I'm going to kill you Wiz.
Wiz: John has also lost plenty of fights against The Rock, Brock, Triple H, Randy Orton and even Edge, several times. Not to mention he was caught off guard by Chris Pratt and too child friendly to do anything serious. Oh, and one of his greatest fears include...
Boomstick: Don't you dare...
Wiz: tarantulas.
Boomstick: I'M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU!! PLAY THE DAMN CLIP ALREADY!!
PRE-BATTLE[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, and we've run the data through every possibility.
Boomstick: I'll be making a cameo in this episode, so it's TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
Wiz: Wait, what?
DEATH BATTLE[]
(Iida is in the locker room, putting his gloves on. He picks up his helmet and takes off to the wrestling ring. Walking into the arena, a giant crowd of fans roar as they watch him enter a gigantic wrestling ring. Izuku Midoriya wipes the sweat off his head and asks for his glasses.)
Iida: It is too bad. I hoped that he would break them and show me how advanced he is in his abilities.
Midoriya: But, he's a WWE wrestler.
Iida: I KNOW MIDORIYA!
(Cena stands in the opposite corner and watches Iida put on his helmet. He stands up and stretches his arms. Boomstick walks into the ring.)
Boomstick: Alright you filthy sons of bitches! We've raised a whole ONE HUNDRED BILLION dollars for charity just to see which one would win a fight to the death!
Tenya Iida?!
(Half the crowd roars.)
Or John Cena?!
(The other half of the crowd roars.)
Alright, let's get ready!
Iida: Mr. Cena, I must tell you that I'm very honored to fight you.
John: Thanks. But let's just keep this good and clean.
FIGHT!!
(Cena and Iida tap fists in midair to begin the fight. Cena puts his fists up to block any attacks that might hit him while Iida gets down into a running position. His engine legs start to rev up, blue flames start to come out of the exhaust leading him to launch himself at a near superhuman speed. Cena gets kicked in the side by Iida and slammed into the side of the ring. He gets back up only to get kicked again and crashes into another area of the ring. Cena then grabs one of Iida's legs and spins around and throws him, then he picks Iida up and throws him into the floor, pulling a DDT. Iida gets back up and tries to pull of his helmet, but Cena then pulls the Spinebuster on him. Iida gets back up and goes in for another kick, hitting Cena but barely moving him a foot. He grabbed his leg and spun him around and then Cena threw him across the ring. Iida gets back up, then runs around him and punches Cena in the face. Cena falls on his back, but he jumps up and tackles Iida legs. Picking him up by his legs, Cena throws Iida across the ring. Pulling off his helmet, Iida stands back up to widen his vision.)
Iida: You fight well, Mr. Cena.
Cena: You're going to keep fighting?
(The two start fighting again, with Iida going in for another kick that lands and sends him crashing into the other side of the ring. Cena runs up to him and before he could do anything, Iida kicks him with a Recipro Burst, but the kick stops when Cena catches the leg. In shock, Iida tries to pull away, but Cena picks him up and threw him so far that he crashes into the audience. Trying to do another Recipro Burst, he could not due to the heat of the engines starting to burn his legs. Giving them time to cool down, Iida stalls for time by trying to fight Cena off hand to hand. Cena dodges Iida's punches but then he picks iida up by his costume and throws him back into the ring. Iida is starting to bleed from his head but he doesn't give a damn. Iida then tackles Cena and picks him up. Then he puts him in a firefighter carry and jumps on his back. Cena is laid on the floor, groaning in pain. Iida then Recipro Burst-kicks him into a row of seats. Cena got back up and tries to fight back against Iida. But then, Iida throws his leg again in another Recipro Burst that causes Cena to crash in another flight of seats while people run out of the stadium in fear of being crushed. Cena stands back up and sees Iida charging at him. Iida goes in to knees him in the chest, but Cena catches the leg in mid air and breaks his leg. Iida cries out in pain as he is thrown back into the ring by Cena. Trying to limp away, Iida tries to escape. Remembering his brother, Iida grits his teeth and refuses to give up right now. Getting down on one knee, Iida charges with incredible speed and goes to punch him. Cena tries to block Iida, but doesn't see him. Iida wraps his hands around Cena's head and twists his neck, breaking it. Cena's body falls to the ground dead.)
K.O.!!!
POST BATTLE[]
Boomstick: HELL YEAH!! That was fucking brutal!
Wiz: While Cena was strong, Iida overpowered him at almost every turn.
Boomstick: Iida may have gotten his ass kicked multiple times, but it was by people who had SUPERHUMAN POWERS. John here didn't have any superhuman powers beside from super strength.
Wiz: When it came to speed, durability, agility and experience, Iida had more to give while Cena did not.
Boomstick: Guess you can say, Cena couldn't SEE that coming!
Wiz: The winner is Tenya Iida.
IF THIS BATTLE HAD A SCORE[]
Name: My Time is Now, to be a Hero!