Description[]
Undertale vs Pokemon! When these two adorable subterranean inclined monsters fight it out, who will win and who will die?
Intro[]
Necro: Temmie, The Shopkeeper with a College Education.
Mercer: Furret, The Long Body Pokemon.
Necro: Cuteness is subjective in most cases, but not when it comes to these two. These extremely social adorable monsters are fan favorites, so what better to do than to see which one deserves it's status by making them fight until one of them dies? And with PETA busy dealing with Airbud vs Lassie, there's no one to stop us.
Mercer: He's Necro and I'm Mercer. And we're so gonna get sued for this.
Necro: It's out job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
Temmie Sells Out For A DEATH BATTLE![]
Necro: Long Ago, there was a great war between humans and monsters. Despite fighting their hardest, the monsters were defeated and sealed underground by a barrier which could only be broken by the combine power of seven human souls.
Mercer: Naturally, this depressed the monsters. Well, save for one specific creature. This little monster, or rather, group of monsters, needs no introduction, as they are truly unique.
Necro: The Tems are a race of small dog person thingies who claim to have a rich history, speak broken english, a bizarre obsession with "Tem Flakes", which may or may not be made of other Tems, and are one of the few monsters in the entirety of the underground to own and run a shop.
Mercer: Let me just tell you right now, these little fuckers are weird as hell. For one, they all have the exact same name, save for this one sassy guy named Bob. Next, they seem to vibrate intensly for next to no reason at all, and their faces literally peel off of their bodies, which are still fully functional without a face, and their senses of sight, taste and smell. This is shown when the shop tem literally goes to college and gets a degree while leaving her face behind.
Necro: What's she get a degree in?
Mercer: No one knows. (*whispering*) N o o n e k n o w s .
Necro: I... see. Well, there is a surprisingly tiny amount of information to go off of in regards to Temmie. Very little of what we could string together actually was combat relevant, and the rest is just random bullshit. So, this is a perfect time to talk about where Temmie places in comparison to the rest of the monsters in the Underground.
Mercer: With an attack stat of seven and a defense stat of... you're fucking kidding me. Negative twenty?! There's no way that's right.
Necro: Sadly, it is. When it comes to power, Temmie is actually rather impressive, being able to vastly overshadow Genocide Papyrus in attack power, or very nearly equal his power in his normal form. Papyrus, while not a boss monster like King Asgore or Toriel, she's still far more powerful than the average monster in the Underground.
Mercer: For example, an unnamed monster from can throw a one ton ice cube several meters with ease. And when considering that Frisk, the human protagonist of the game, who is regularly hurt and killed by even the weakest monsters, can casually survive falling down a mountain, It would be reasonable to say that the average monster is very strong.
Necro: Indeed. Monsters like Undyne, the captain of the royal guard, can lift a large boulder "just because she can". And this isn't the only absurd strength feat monsters have pulled off. Mettaton, or Metal Michael Jackson, can pulverize a large steel door with ease.
Mercer: When considering the size of the door, we found that Mettaton had to strike with 100 Megajoules of energy. That's like 100 grenades exploding in your face! Sure, Temmie may not be quite that strong, but we did find that she should at least be comparable to part of the feat.
Necro: When it comes to speed, Temmie should be classed in a similar range to Tsunderplane, which has similar combat stats. Tsunderplane can fly faster than Vulcan's electrical attacks. Electricity moves at Supersonic speeds, more specifically at one and six tenths faster than the speed of sound. Tsunderplane can fly three times faster than Vulcan's attacks, as shown by it moving three times the distance Vulcan's attack can in a short timeframe.
Mercer: This would Tsunderplane, and Temmie's speed by extension, at four and a half times the speed of sound.
Necro: Temmie's method of fighting is... well, much like everything else about her. Weird as hell. Temmie seems to have an elastic body, being able to stretch her limbs to horrifying and grotesque lengths in an attempt to trap Frisk's SOUL to deal damage. That's right, Temmie isn't just a "LOLRANDOM" dog, she's a "LOLRANDOM" dog that can quite literally destroy your soul.
Mercer: Th-That's horrifying. Um, well, anyway. Temmie isn't flawless. While she may be intelligent enough to run a shop and go to and graduate from college in a matter of seconds, she's a bit of a dunce when it comes to combat, often forgetting her attacks and being easily distracted by her opponent talking to her.
Necro: Temmie also seems to be constantly hungry, to the point of being in danger of death, as should Frisk refuse to give her Tem Flakes in the battle (if Frisk has them, that is), Temmie will flat out die. Temmie also finds muscles disgusting, and will run away if she sees someone flexing. That, and she also really lacks in the defense department, having a defense score of Negative Twenty, which is actually the lowest defense stat in the game!
Mercer: Finally, Temmie really only has one attack, that being her stretch attack, which is fairly easy to dodge.
Necro: But in the end, does it really matter? Temmie is easily one of the most iconic monsters from the entire Undertale series, and she's earned her fame. And hey, she may not play any role in the actual story of the game, but we still love this tiny random dog.
| “ | hOI!!!!!! i'm tEMMIE!!" | „ |
Furret Walks Into Death Battle![]
Necro: The Kanto Region is home to many types of Pokemon, some big, some small, some short and some... long.
Mercer: Dex Number 162, Weighing in at 32.5 Kilograms, and with a luxurious length of 180 centimeters, we have Furret, The Long Body Pokemon!
Necro: Furret is the evolved form of Sentret, which is a small ferret and flying squirrel looking thing. Using information from the pokedex entries, we found that Furret is a loving parent that likes to blitz small animals so that it can murder them. Oh, and it's also really skinny.
Mercer: Is the trend of this episode cute things that are oddly horrifying?
Necro: Pretty much.
Mercer: Egh. Anyway, given it's penchant for high speed murder, Furret is obviously a good fighter, easily being able to slaughter Pokemon like Rattata, who can chew through pretty much anything and flat out bite a person's hand off. Obviously, it can do much more impressive stuff, like fighting on par with both Ash's Pikachu and other second stage Pokemon.
Necro: Being a Normal type, Furret has no advantages against any other types, but is immune to the spiritual attacks of the Ghost type, at the cost of not being able to hurt them with moves of it's own type. Speaking of moves, Furret has several of these in his arsenal.
Mercer: With Quick Attack, Furret uses his blinding speed to blitz and strike his opponent before the can defend. As a priority move, Furret's attack will always go first unless his opponent also uses a priority move and is faster than him. That being said, the move has very little power behind it, and even with the same type bonus granted to Normal type moves when used by Normal types, it's still one of the weaker moves in the game.
Necro: With Fury Swipes, Furret slashes his foe numerous times. Slash has a similar effect, but is a single powerful strike, rather than numerous frenzied attacks. Slam is a powerful ram attack with no added effects other than pain, and Hyper Voice is a wide wave of sound that Furret can emit which is powerful enough to shatter rocks and defeat powerful Pokemon.
Mercer: But when the going gets rough, Furret can bust out his best moves. Double Edge is one of the most powerful Normal Type moves, and it involves Furret ramming into his foe recklessly, which results in him taking one third of the damage his opponent sustained. Reversal is a Fighting type move that becomes more powerful the more damage Furret has taken. And finally, Last Resort is Furret's most powerful move. It can only be used once Furret has used every other move in his arsenal, but when he does use it, Furret rushes forwards with all his might and decimates his opponent with all the power he has.
Necro: But if you thought Furret just had offensive moves, you'd be sorely mistaken. Focus Energy allows Furret to land critical hits more easily, Agility lets Furret buff his speed by up to four times, Growl, Charm and Baby Doll Eyes lower the opponent's offensive abilities on both the physical and special fronts. Coil allows Furret to increase his attack, defense and accuracy by up to four times. Finally, Rest allows Furret to fully heal from any damage he's taken, at the cost of falling a sleep for a short period of time.
Mercer: Finally, this is the last thing on this subject, we promise. Furret has the ability Keen Eye, which allows him to land his attacks regardless of the conditions.
Necro: When it comes to feats, Furret really doesn't have much, other than the Pokedex claiming that they are extremely fast, and that one time Furret fought Ash's Pikachu by spamming Dig. That and the internet has some bizarre obsession with watching this creature walk.
Mercer: Well, Furret obviously isn't perfect. As a Normal type, Furret is weak to Fighting Types, and is rather poor in both defensive stats and the Health points department. Not to mention that despite Furret's absurd speed, it's generally considered to be one of the weaker Pokemon in the series.
Necro: Despite these weaknesses, This long ass speedster murderer is quite the formidable foe.
| “ | Furret. | „ |
Intermission[]
Necro: All right, the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities!
Mercer: IT'S TIME FOR A word from out sponsors, PETA!
Necro:... oh shit.
PETA RABBIT: YOU FUCKED WITH THE WRONG BUNNY!
Mercer: A DEATH BATTTTLLLLEEE!!! HE'S GOT A RIFLE, RUN!!!!
Fight![]
"Go, Machoke!" Youngster Jimmy exclaimed as he hurled his Pokeball with all his might. Seconds before, the young lad had noticed the tall, lush, emerald grass of Mount Ebbot shaking. This shaking was accompanied by a loud rustling, as if something was running though the grass.
The ball opened in mid air, and with a flash of light, a creature appeared. It was tall and muscular, with thick purple skin and a long snout. "MA-CHOKE!" The muscular pokemon bellowed, flexing his muscles and taking up a fighting stance.
It was at this time that the rustling creature decided to poke it's head out of the grass. This creature was slender and long roughly the same length as a tall fully grown man, with cream colored fur and an adorable face. This Pokemon was Furret. It twitched nervously upon seeing Machoke, quickly realizing that he was soon to be attacked. The boy behind the muscular behemoth smirked evilly, fiddling around with another pokeball.
After a second, the boy and Furret's eye's met. Combat was imminent, Furret knew that for sure now. "Machoke, use Brick Break!" Youngster Jimmy exclaimed, pointing at Furret. Machoke sneered at the long body Pokemon and then rushed forward with shocking speed, flattening his hand into a blade as he rushed.
Knowing that a single hit from his foe could be his end, Furret instantly burst into action with Quick Attack, disappearing like ghost and ramming into Machoke's chin with all his might, knocking the superpower Pokemon flat on his ass.
Furret landed behind Machoke, and looked back at it, worry lines appearing on the long thing's face. There was no way his attack had done any real damage to that creature. He'd felt that thing's jaw line, and it was tougher than a Metang's body. Machoke got up and turned towards Furret, murderous intent flashing in the beast's eyes. It made a throat slashing motion, and stomped towards Furret, moving just in time for Jimmy to give his next order.
"Machoke, use Superpower!" Jimmy commanded, irritated that Machoke had taken any damage at all. Instantly, Machoke's body rippled with energy as his muscles in creased in size, the new power making his body glow with blue and red energy. Machoke lunged forwards, fully intent to end Furret with his next strike.
Furret realized the danger, and posed cutely, thus activating Charm. Machoke's body mass decreased slightly, and his charge faltered a tiny bit, but Furret knew it wasn't enough. Next, it wrapped it's body up tightly, tensing it's muscles for the coming blow. Machoke was now upon Furret, his meaty fists knotted together as he raised his arms above his head for a brutal smash attack.
At this exact second, Furret coiled himself tighter than ever before. Next, Machoke swung down, the force of his strike in motion so great that the earth beneath them was already faltering. Just before Machoke's fists struck Furret, the long body Pokemon struck back, blasting into the Superpower Pokemon with one of his mightiest blows!
With a great crack, the stone beneath the two exploded, as the combine force of Double Edge and Superpower met! Jimmy was knocked off of his feet, shocked at the great power of the Pokemon and Machoke grunted in rage, astounded that a mere Furret was matching him. Furret, on the other hand, had already lost consciousness, the force of Superpower and Double Edge being far too much for him to handle.
Machoke noticed this, and with a great bellow, blasted the long body Pokemon through the rock beneath him, and into the mountain's hollow core. Machoke snorted and flex his muscles, glaring at the falling Pokemon as it disappeared into the inky blackness of the mountain's core.
*
*
*
As Furret fell, he regained consciousness for a second thanks to the shock of being hurled through dozens of cubic meters of rock. Thanks to his keen eyes, he could see the hard rock floor of the mountain zooming towards him. The area appeared to be grassy with numerous pools of water making up the geological make-up of the ground.
He felt his consciousness fading again, and closed his eyes of his own accord. He'd have to get some rest at the bottom of this cave.
When Furret awoke, his whole body ached. Sure, Rest fully healed his initial injuries, but healed didn't mean painless. The long pokemon shook his body, shaking off a solid amount of dust and pebbles. He coughed and started to walk. As he walked, he realized that the reason he'd even fought Machoke was what he was doing right now. Walking. He now remembered that he'd simply been going on a leisurely stroll, enjoying the wind in his face and the wonderful light of the sun.
Was his greatest joy his greatest curse? Perhaps. Putting confusing thoughts behind him, Furret continued to travel, making not of glowing grass and mushrooms, and turquoise sparks of light floating around in the air. Where ever he was, it was much more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen in Kanto.
With no idea where to go, Furret focused on the land in front of him, and was shocked to see a large village populated with strange creatures. They looked like Lilipup's with human hair and sleek fur, rather the a Lilipup's shaggy coat. They appeared to also be wearing shirts, like trainers did.
Intrigued, Furret walked closer. They hadn't noticed him yet. A sudden rumble in his stomach alerted him to his biggest issue at the moment. He was awfully hungry.
With that in mind, Furret slunk into the village in search of something to satiate his hunger. Much to his surprise, the village was almost entirely empty, the midnight blue stone of the cave making him feel awfully bleak as he crept about in the shadows. And then, he saw it. Bright, golden light. A large hole had been carved into the cave wall, and from that hole came light and the sound of joyful, if not obnoxious and off-tune singing.
Furret stuck to the shadows, and looked inside. One of those bizarre creatures sat inside, although this one wore a yellow and blue striped shirt rather than the simple blue one. But for now, they didn't matter, as he'd seen something. Right there! On the counter, was a piece of round, golden material with what looked like a green leaf on top. To Furret, it looked awfully like a sitrus berry. Considering his options of starve or take, Furret made up his mind.
Using Quick Attack, Furret dashed into the cave and snagged the golden object and turned tail and ran away immediately at his normal speed. In his hurry, he failed to notice that the green had fallen off of the object, leaving it as a round and golden circle.
(Cue: tEm can wOLK)
As he ran, he heard the shop keeper exclaim in surprise. "!!! tEMMIE nEeds thAt MOniE foR College! Get BAck HEERe!!"
Furret ignored Temmie, opting to continue running away. Suddenly, a white paw flew in front of his face, forcing him to change his course... right into a rock wall. A sickening crack echoed through the cave. All of the Tems looked over at the long ferret and arched an eyebrow in unison. Well, almost all of them. Shop Temmie was still in hot pursuit, having elongated her legs to horrific proportions to cover the same amount of ground as the burglar.
"giVE bacc TEm's Monie!" The small creature shouted, her high pitched voice grating on Furret's ears. Furret had no clue what Temmie was saying. As far as he knew, he'd gotten into a squabble over food with another Pokemon. Perhaps this golden thing wasn't food. Temmie repeated herself. While he would normally back off, he was far hungrier than before. In fact, Temmie didn't seem that much larger than a Rattata. If this golden thing wasn't food... Temmie sure was.
With that, Furret dashed forwards, activating quick attack. Temmie, who hadn't expected an attack, was struck full force. The random dog was blasted backwards at the speed of a cannon ball, slamming into and through a cave wall, the crumbling of rock accompanied by Temmie's low moan as she tried to get up from the attack.
"tHAT waS NOt nICE!" It shouted, stretching her arms forwards and throwing a flurry of punches at Furret, who wove between them with the grace of a dancer. Nothing could hit him. Furret felt alive as he rushed through the flurry of high speed paws. If this was the best Temmie could do, then he'd be eating in no time.
Suddenly, the flurry of blows stopped. Furret kept running, but was puzzled by this development. He was less puzzled when Temmie punched him square in the nose. It would seem, that it had decided to go with the "less is more" strategy. Furret growled at Temmie. A bright blue aura appeared around the monster, and coursed downwards, disappearing after it hit the floor. After the aura left, Temmie felt weaker than before. Confused, Temmie threw another punch at Furret, which was easily avoided by the long body pokemon. Furret hopped from side to side and then spun in a circle so quickly that other copies of himself appeared briefly. This, was accompanied by a bright red aura that travelled upwards.
Temmie returned to her flurry strategy, throwing dozens of punches within a second, but thanks to his new found agility, Furret effortlessly avoided the attacks. Temmie tried the same tactic from before, ceasing the flurry and aiming for a precise blow, but this time, Furret was prepared. As soon as Temmie's fist came at Furret, he used slash, hacking into and through the paw as if it were paper. Temmie howled in agony as her paw dropped to the ground, landing with a soft thud before disappearing in a puff of dust.
Furret, who had expected blood, was taken aback by this. "What kind of Pokemon was this?" He wondered. Meanwhile, Temmie continued to scream for several seconds. By this point, the other Tems were fed up with this intruder.
Furret dashed at the Shop Temmie, extending his claws as he ran. Shop Temmie's eyes widened as Furret closed in, and she quickly used her remaining hand to throw yet another punch at Furret. Claws and Paws met, as Furret used Fury Swipes which was immediately countered by Temmie's punches. Despite Furret's claws biting into Temmie's paw with every strike, the Shop Temmie continued to parry his attacks, screaming as she attacked. Whether it was in pain or rage, Furret didn't know.
Regardless, he was getting sick of this. Disengaging from their dead lock, Furret used Baby Doll Eyes to try and weaken Temmie further. The blue aura appeared again and after taking effect, Temmie most certainly felt weaker, but not in a physical way. Utterly confused, Temmie struck again. Furret countered with another quick attack. Seems like this thing wasn't a special attacker. No matter. Without giving any quarter, Furret leapt up high in the sky and launched himself down at Shop Temmie, who once again tried to counter with a barrage of punches. This time, Furret didn't bother with a weak move like quick attack or fury swipes. It was time to Slam the competition!
With that, Furret rammed into Temmie's remaining fist with such force that the monster's entire arm exploded violently, creating a thick cloud of dust. As Temmie screamed in agony, Furret collided with her. The Shop Temmie's body met a similar fate to her arm, blasting a heavy wave of dust over the cave walls.
Furret got up and shook some of the Tem dust off of himself. That would take a while to get out of his fur. Still needing to find food, Furret began to walk away.
"Stop right there." Another Tem spoke up. His voice was easy to understand, and he spoke clearly. Was he a trainer? No, he couldn't be. He was also one of those creatures, wasn't he? Furret also quickly noticed that there were at least four more Tems behind him.
"I am Bob. We won't just let you leave after killing Shop Temmie like that." Bob was angry, this was clear to Furret. Gulping and and ignoring his growling gut, Furret stood up on his hind legs and looked severely at Bob. If this guy wanted to get in the way of his search for food, than so be it.
The tension in the Tem Village had never been higher, and the cave was silent. Without wasting a second, Furret opened with Quick Attack once more. Bob, however, had expected this, extending all of his legs at the same time, sending his body zooming towards the cave ceiling at alarming speeds. Furret passed under Bob's legs at such speed that his legs wobbled from the force of the air as he zoomed past. The other Tems, had not had this idea and were powerless to avoid Furret's Quick Attack. He rammed headlong into all four of them, and blasted them through a hole in the wall behind them, where one of the Tems had been hiding and watching.
The combine force of all four Tems hitting him at one time caused this Tem to explode into dust, covering his house and comrades in a hearty coating of corpse dust. The four Tems sat up, not quite realizing what had just happened. One of them broke out in hives, and the four quickly leapt out of the hole, still not wise to the demise of hole-in-the-wall Tem.
Furret had been briefly stunned upon ramming into them, which gave Bob the opening he needed to position himself over Furret and strike him from all sides with quick punches. Furret growled at Bob after the first strike, and while Bob's strikes did in fact get weaker, they still hurt.
Not quite done yet, Bob wrapped his arms around Furret and began to squeeze him. Furret coughed blood as his ribs began to bend inwards. This was worse than being caught by a Tentacruel!
By now, the other Tems were back. They quickly began to attack Furret, throwing quick punches at the long Pokemon's exposed head. This situation was rather terrible, wasn't it? Furret considered this while grunting with each punch thrown his way, and then trying to breath while being crush by Bob.
He decided that it was time for a Reversal.
Bright blue energy enveloped Furret's body, and with a mighty cry, Furret burst out of Bob's hold and away from his attackers. Bob grunted and shrunk back to his normal size. Furret landed several meters away from the five Tems. It was time for the final battle.
All of the remaining Tems attacked at the same time, each throwing their strongest punch at Furret, who leapt into the air and gathered in a deep breath. Bob, quickly realizing what was about to happen, yanked his arm back and covered his ears. Furret them unleashed the loudest scream any of Tems had ever heard, or would ever hear, as the sheer power behind the scream blasted all of them back into the wall behind them, each exploding into dust immediately upon impact.
This, was Hyper Voice. Furret landed on the ground proudly. There was only one guy left. He wouldn't be that big of a deal... after all, his body was practically dissolving into dust where he stood. But a low rumbling above Furret distracted from Bob. He looked up, only for his jaw to drop in terror. A massive rock, easily the size of a car, tumbled towards him picking up speed as it went.
Furret squeaked in fear and sprinted away from the rock, which slammed into the ground and shattered into a dozen pieces on impact. That, would have most certainly hurt. Bob, on the other hand, was barely keeping himself together. Despite having blocked some of the damage by covering his ears, his body was quite literally falling apart.
Was this end of the Tem race? They'd come so far, fought so hard to survive, and this was how it ended? Slaughtered by some genocidal noodle? ...No. Bob wouldn't stand for that. Suddenly, a great glow appeared in Bob's body. He wasn't going to die. No, His determination was far too strong for that.
With a cry of defiance, Bob elongated not only his arms and legs, but his whole body as well. He quickly stretched around the cave, using the walls for support as he prepared to crush Furret once and for all. Furret saw his, and used quick attack and slammed right into Bob's body, but bounced off with absolutely no effect. Slash and Fury Swipes had no effect either, and Slam barely made him budge.
Realizing this, Furret quickly coiled his body tightly and then leapt high into the air. He was down to nothing, in the red, so to speak. All of his efforts against this thing had proved worthless, leaving him with one, final attack.
Furret quickly scurried up the wall and above Bob, who was pulling back one of his arms to strike him. They were both about to use their last resort. The fate of the Tem race rested upon Bob's shoulders, and Furret wondered whether or not Bob would stay solid long enough to eat.
With those final thoughts, Furret cast himself down at Bob, a bright gold and pink aura surrounding him as he fell, and Bob threw all of his might into an attack not meant for Furret's body, but for his SOUL. In Bob's eyes, Furret was not there. No, only a bright, red heart.
Keeping that in mind, Bob struck for Furret's SOUL... only for his fist to pass right through it! Confusion had no time to set in as Furret's Last Resort struck the final Tem. The force from the blazing power of Last resort was enough to not only decimate Bob's body, but also enough to ignite the dust that had once been Bob. A great explosion overcame the Tem Village, shaking the entirety of the underground. After the explosion, a fire broke out, The dust scattered around the village only adding fuel to new fire.
Furret, landed hard and took a deep breath. It was over. He'd have to find food somewhere else. Moving on, Furret walked away, not looking back once, leaving the carnage of the once great Tem village behind him.
K.O!
Verdict[]
Necro: Oh, no. Did we just cause a mass genocide?
Mercer: So it would seem. Well, at least it's in the spirit of the game.
Necro: MERCER!
Mercer: What? It's true.
Necro: Ugh, you're right. Anyway, this was a truly unique and interesting match.
Mercer: Well, I'm not so sure about that. But, it was interesting to learn just how easily Furret won this one.
Necro: Yeah, this one just wasn't close at all. Yes, Temmie is more powerful than the average monster in Undertale, but Furret was in a whole other world in terms of combat prowess. Let's start with one of the more important categories. Attack Power. Continuing the grenade analogy from earlier, we mentioned that Mettaton is comparable in power to 100 Megajoules, or 100 Grenades. Mettaton preformed the door feat in his box form, or his weakest form. The Box form has 30 attack, and Temmie has 7. So, 30 divided by 7, and we get 4.28. This means that Temmie would be comparable to roughly one quarter of what Mettaton is normally capable of, Meaning Temmie's got the power of 23 Grenades up her sleeve. That's enough energy to destroy a solid portion of a two story house.
Mercer: Furret, on the other hand, has a base stat total of 415. This would put him in the same ball park as Pokemon like Meowstic, who can casually blast a ten ton truck to dust. Such a feat would require energy equivalent to 113.804 Gigajoules or 113,804 Grenades, which is more than enough power to decimate a medium sized city block. Both Meowstic and Furret are second stage Pokemon, and have tangled with Ash's Pokemon before with similar levels of capability, so it should be reasonable to scale Furret to Meowstic. This would make Furret 4950 times more powerful than Temmie, and that's without buffs from Coil, which multiplies his attack by four times, making him just shy of 20,000 times more powerful. And guess what makes it even worse. Furret can actually decrease Temmie's attack power by four times with Growl, thus taking Temmie's 23 Megajoules all the way down to 5.75 Megajoules, which increases the maximum gap between the fighters to a whopping 79,168 times in Furret's favor!
Necro: Talk about an uphill battle. But it even gets worse. Not only can Furret take hits from Pokemon that are as strong as or even stronger than him, Temmie couldn't even hit the long body Pokemon in the first place. Remember how we mentioned that Furret has fought with Ash's Pikachu, and other second stage Pokemon? Well, all of those Pokemon are capable of reacting to natural lightning. This is shown in all forms of Pokemon media, those being the anime, manga, mainline games and spinoff games. Natural Lightning moves at 1282 times the speed of sound, which vastly out classes Temmie's Mach 4.86 speeds, coming in at a blazing 260 times faster. But once again, Agility allows Furret to boost his speed by four times, thus making him an insurmountable 1055 times faster.
Popup: It should be noted that while many Pokemon are able to react to light based attacks, Furret is often portrayed as much weaker and slower than they are.
Mercer: When it comes to versatility, there was no contest. Furret can enhance his physical power, scream hard enough to decimate massive rocks, use multi-hit attacks, weaken his opponent's power and heal himself and so much more, while Temmie can stretch her limbs and body a little bit, and also attack a target's SOUL. Hey, wait a second. Shouldn't Temmie have been able to kill Furret by destroying his SOUL?
Necro: Not exactly. Here's the thing. Temmie's SOUL attacks are formidable, and while they may be magic based, they are still spiritual in nature. And thanks to his Normal typing, Furret is entirely immune to such methods of attack.
Mercer: The only real edge we could give Temmie would be intelligence, but only in book smarts. Graduating from college is impressive for sure, but that didn't matter in a battle like this. And in combat, Temmie is an absolute dunce, either getting distracted or forgetting to attack entirely don't help at all when matched up against a born survivor and hunter like Furret. Yeah, you heard me right. While the Pokemon world may seem all cute and cuddly, it's far from that, as it bears heavy similarities to the real world's wilderness, with food chains and predators and prey and all that wild stuff. And when also considering that battling is the main pass time of the Pokemon world, it's obvious that Furret would have the advantage in the combat skill and experience department.
Necro: In short, this was a horrid mismatch and a one sided slaughter fest on Furret's side. Temmie couldn't really do anything at all. Hell, even if we put all seven Tems up against Furret at once, it wouldn't matter in the slightest, as even at it's weakest, Furret would still be over a thousand times faster and stronger than all of them combine.
Mercer: In the end, Furret walked along Victory Road, stomping Temmie Underfoot all the way.
Necro: The Winner is, Furret.
OST[]
The custom track is called "tEm can wOLK" and was created by Cryo. The name references the Tem's unnatural speech pattern and the Walking Furret meme.
Trivia[]
- This battle is a Birthday Gift for CreeperPasta on Discord.
- Furret was given access to all of his level up moves and moves that he could learn through breeding.
- Furret was portrayed as Male in the analysis and battle due to a coin toss.
- Furret is scaled to low-end feats due to Eldritch not buying that "weak" Pokemon like Furret can match higher level Pokemon.
- Temmie is scaled to Mettaton and Papyrus.