| Wile E. Coyote VS. Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
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| Season one, Episode 1. | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | March 19, 2020 |
| Written by | Kevineitor2003 |
| Directed by | Kevineitor2003. |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Unknown | Apocalypse vs Quartermaster |
Description[]
Two super geniuses, two Guys that the world hates, and two who never give up. We have all wondered what would happen when an unparalleled force collides with an immovable object, but what happens when two unparalleled forces collide with each other?
This will be the battle between geniuses with bad luck that never give up.
Interlude[]
Wiz: For many great scientists like me, there are several things that can hinder our work, such as people opposing our discoveries, not having the necessary resources or-
Boomstick: Or something explodes in your face?
Wiz: Meh, or something explodes in your face.
Boomstick: Like Wile E. Coyote, Roadrunner Hunter and super genius.
Wiz: And Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, former evil scientist and... unemployed I guess.
Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Wile E. Coyote[]
Wiz: American Southwest, It is a place where only the adapted and strong can survive.
Boomstick: Removing the infinite heat, the cold nights, the poisonous animals and so on, you will also have to deal with the eternal battle between the Road Runner, and Wile E. Coyote.
Wile: Well, battle is a very kind way of saying, I think the most appropriate term is a game of the cat and the mouse without the mouse knowing that the cat exists.
Boomstick: However, Wile is, in fact, the son of one of the best hunters of roadrunners of all times and he wanted to become one of them.
Wiz: Something that seems like a simple task, but It turns out that Wile has tried to catch the same roadrunner for years and never made it.
Boomstick: Really? How? you didn't tell me once that the roadrunners are going at 18 Miles per hour?
Wiz: Perhaps a real roadrunner, however, this fictional roadrunner can go to approximately 275.6 Miles per hour.
Boomstick: Wow, really? No wonder he has failed to capture that thing.
Wiz: Despite that, Wile still has a couple of tricks up his sleeve.
Boomstick: But he doesn't wear clothes.
Wiz: Being a coyote, Wile has a speed of 43 miles per hour (69 km/h) and can jump a distance of over 4 meters (13⅛ feet).
Boomstick: and that adds to the fact that he has the bite force of 88 Bite force quotient.
Wiz: But that has not been enough to catch the road runner. Surprisingly, Wile is very intelligent, well, yes, he knows the basics of chemistry and other things, but Wile really shines when it comes to planning.
Boomstick: Yes, apparently he has memorized the routes that the roadrunner takes and always has a trap ready for him.
Wiz: Although the road runner is literally a bird's brain, that does not take away the fact that Wile's Plans are impressive.
Boomstick: He is capable of creating fake tunnels that look real, and sometimes they are, creating series of mouse traps that work relatively well and can convene things like refrigerators and fans in weapons.
Wiz: But in order to carry out these plans, Wile needs artifacts, and who better to porveher artifacts than the ACME corporation?
Boomstick: I would say that company has even the kitchen sink, but it is very likely that it has.
Wiz: the ACME corporation is one of the largest corporations in the fiction and Wile uses her products very often.
Boomstick: Sure, once in a while Wile tries something basic like throwing a boulder, Anvil, or something like that, but most of the time, Wile will go for the big guns.
Wiz: According to statistics made by the Havahart organization, Wile has acquired more than 40 potential solutions from the ACME Company. With more than 260 traps, including many handmade or not affiliated with the ACME brand.
Boomstick: But let's go step by step. Depending on what Wile needs at the moment, he uses a specific ACME device.
Wiz: Right, if Wile just needs to stop the roadrunner, he can use the Bird Seed to be able to stop it in one place, Glue, Iron Glue, the Giant Fly Paper, the Giant Mouse Trap, the Axle Grease, the Giant Rubber Band and the Triple-Strength Battleship Steel Armor Plate.
Boomstick: If Wile wants to reach that fast bird, he can use the Rocket Powered Roller Skates, the Jet propelled tennis shoes, Roller Skins, Rocket Sled, the Super Speed Vitamins, the Hi-Speed Tonic, the Little-Giant Do-It-Yourself Rocket Sled Kit.
Wiz: Yes, that's a real thing.
Boomstick: The Jet-Propelled Skis, the Leg Muscle Vitamins, the Jet Bike Kit and the Jet-propelled pogo stick
Wiz: If you need it, it's air help, you can use the Bat-man outfit, Super Outfit and the Street Cleaners Wagon.
Wiz: But if what is needed is to hide, Wile can use Invisible Paint or wear a female roadrunner, cactus and rock costume.
Boomstick: OMG, I'm bored, now let's go with the Good stuff.
Wiz: The Good stuff?
Boomstick: Or as I like it called, the BOOM stuff. We have Detonators, The Jet-Propelled Unicycle, the Smoke Screen Bomb, the Little-Giant Fire Crackers, Explosive Tennis Balls and his iconic Dynamite rocket.
Wiz: I honestly don't understand why he would use an explosive to move faster.
Boomstick: Sometimes sacrifices are made.
Wiz: Anyway, it's time to go with the truly dangerous.
Boomstick: It turns out that the ACME corporation apparently can also control the forces of nature and sell them to you.
Wiz: For example, they can take solid objects, such as rocks and natural phenomena like tornadoes and... just dehydrate them into seeds.
Boomstick: Water not included.
Wiz: Wile can have the power of electricity and wind in his control, change the Climate, and even grow in size.
Boomstick: And that we have not yet reached its resistance. Wile is known for having survived falling from great heights, for things that fall in his head and, obviously, massive explosions.
Wiz: But his greatest act of resistance was when he was trapped in a cave surrounded by all these TNT boxes. Given the height of Wile compared to the boxes and the number of boxes there are, Wile must have survived 60,000 tons of TNT.
Boomstick: Fuck, really?
Wiz: Yep.
Boomstick: How is it possible that he failed to capture that road runner?
Wiz: For the same reason that Wile can survive that. You see, Wile is a user of Toon Force, as we established with The Mask, the toon force can change the laws of physics, but Wile seems unable to control it. This is because Wile is only a Mid Level user of toon force, at that level the user can survive major disasters but feel the pain and his able to summon any ACME product from thin air, as long as it is something that he already has.
Bomstick: Man, that Suck.
Wiz: If it does. But despite that, No matter the blows or the failures, Wile will always return to that desert to try to catch the roadrunner, even if that literally explodes in his face.
Wile E. Coyote: I am going to eat you for supper. Now, don't try to get away! I am more muscular, more cunning, faster, and larger than you are, and I am a genius.
Boomstick: Wait, he just talked?
Wiz: Moving on.
Boomstick: but.
Wiz: MOVING ON.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz[]
Wiz: The distant country of Gimmelshtump is possibly the worst place to live.
Boomstick: Yes, in that place they are basically a lot of traditionalist idiots whose most advanced invention is the wheel.
Wiz: Despite these conditions, that country would be the birthplace of one of the most... interesting figures of all, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
Boomstick: For several years, Doof has had all kinds of abuse. Literally, He endured one of the most ridiculously abusive childhoods in the history of fiction
Wiz: Despite that, he showed from an early age that he had a couple of impressive skills. Like when he built a machine that fires balls of energy into space for a science fair, Ah rookie.
Boomstick: So when Dr. D left that place, he tried to find his place in the world, but the only thing that seemed to be good was to create massive destruction.
Wiz: Therefore, in addition to several traumas of his childhood, He decided to devote himself to a life of crime as an evil scientist in order to achieve his new goal in life, Conquer the Tri-State Area. In fact, he was a threat so great that the O.W.C.A. (Organization Without a great acronym) sent his best agent to stop him every day.
Boomstick: A platypus with a hat, Wow, that a threat.
Wiz: Boomstick, that is Perry the Platypus, one of the best Agents of the OWCA, an expert in martial arts, capable of dodging lasers, and Doofenshmirtz fights against him almost every day.
Boomstick: Seriously? I don't think that is so impressive.
Wiz: Well, Perry once managed to dodge a laser beam.
Boomstick: wait what?
Wiz: taking into account the stature of the common platypus by adding it with the distance that Perry was from the beam and multiplying it by the movement, we can see that Perry can react at approximately 189547.386847 m/s the same speed a bullet of a Mach 552 can go.
Boomstick: Fuck. And Doof can fight to that little green thing?
Wiz: Well yes, but that is not the greatest force that Doofenshmirtz has, he is a supergenius, he is an expert in Including Biology, Chemistry, Genetics, Astronomy, Astrology, and Quantum Physics. To the point that it can create inventions capable of modifying or destroying natural laws.
Boomstick: These are his Inators, for some reason, Doof has about a million of these things, it will take us a long time to say them all so we will only mention the most incredible and the rest you can see Here.
Wiz: First, Doofenshmirtz has several types of traps that he uses to stop his enemy Perry. He has Robot Arms, Glass case, fake Doofenshmirtz, Nets, Cages, Fly Paper, and Any Flat Surface Magnet belt.
Boomstick: Doof also has things like the Control helmet that can control a person's will, the Coition-inator that can trap people in bubbles, and the Slow Motion-inator that can make people move slower.
Wiz: Yes, that's impressive, but it also has items like The EGLU that can disassemble everything it touches, The Switch-Place-Inator that Switches the places of two targets, and The Waffle-inator That makes rapid fires waffles.
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Boomstick: What?
Wiz: Yes. He also has the Ugly-inator that Turns its target ugly, the Eat-It-All-Inator that makes people eat whatever they want without getting fat and the Ball gown–Inator that Puts its target in a ball gown.
Boomstick: WHAT?
Wiz: Do you think a anybody could fight easily in a dress?
Boomstick: Wiz, what is this crap? Where are the good Stuff?
Wiz: Do you want good Stuff? I will give you the good Stuff. We have te Shrink Spheria which can Shrinks everything Doofenshmirtz hates until they can't be seen, The Invis-inator that Turns what ever it touches invisible, The Accelerate-inator which can Speeds up time and even can open holes in dimensions, The Invis-inator that can make almost everything invisible, The Switch-Place-Inator that can change the position of two objects and The Make things larger-inator That can increase the size of several objects.
Boomstick: Holy Shit, did he really do all that? Wiz: Yes, Doofenshmirtz can not only create these devices, but can also Built an intor only out of parts of a moving plane, he was forced to stand still for days on end without the basic essentiale while dressed as a gnome and he Survives point blank explosions on a daily basis.
Boomstick: Speaking of which, after doing a lot of research, we found that Doof's greatest show of durability was the time he survived this huge exploration that destroyed the roof of his apartment and he was completely fine.
Wiz: Taking into account the height of the Doofenshmirtz building and the density of the Exploion, Heinz must have survived 17,868 Tons of TNT.
Boomstick: OMG, this guy sounds invincible.
Wiz: Well, In fact.
Boomstick: Here we go.
Wiz: Even though Doofenshmirtz is a scientific genius, he is an idiot in almost everything else.
Boomstick: Yes, Doof is easily manipulated, has no common sense, and is... just be an idiot, The dude puts a self-destruct button on all his inventions and can't tell the difference between Perry the Platypus and... Perry the Platypus, jesus christ, How this guy has been a supervillain for so long?
Wiz: Well, the truth is that in time Doof opened more and left his side cursed little by little, with the few people they had in his life, he would realize that he was not really evil, but that it was more like a Response to his childhood traumas.
Boomstick: Are you serious?
Wiz: Yes, even in the future he would become the person who would invent time travel and change the world.
Boomstick: Oh, good for him, no matter if Doof is on the side of good or evil, he will never give up on his goals and will always come back the next day to try again.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: When it comes to havoc, nobody wreaks like me!!
If this fight had a Death Battle score...[]
Pre-fight[]
(*Cues: Doofenshmirtz Jingle*)
We started at the Doofersmith Evil Incorporated building where Heinz was waiting for a package.
Doofenshmirtz: Come on, it's been 3 days.
At that moment Doofenshmirtz hears the doorbell and opens it.
Delivery Man: Excuse me, you ordered this silverstre animal?
Doofenshmirtz: Yes, do not worry, this animal will do nothing, I plan to become an Inator with animal energy.
Delivery Man: Yes, I don't care, just sign.
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, no problem. You have a good day.
Delivery Man: whatever.
After signing the papers, Doof deicide brings the box into his apartment and tries to open it. after opening the box, he was hit by a blow and falls to the ground. It turns out from inside the box in question was Wile E. Coyote and he was seriously mad at Doof.
Doofenshmirtz: Auch. Well, that was very rude.
After saying that, Wile imagines Doof as a Chicken leg and tried to bite him.
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, prepare to suffer before Heinz Doofens-
Before he could finish, Wile bit his leg.
Doofenshmirtz: Auch. Okay, you are dead buddy.
Death Battle[]
The fight starts with Doof using the Coition-Inator to be able to catch Wile in a bubble, but Wile takes all the things around him in order to distract Doof, after that Wile hides in a closet and Doof starts looking for him.
There in the Closet Wile he finds Doof's credit card, he comes up with an idea and takes a phone out of nowhere to make a call. We cut to another scene where Doof is still looking for Wile until he hears the time at his door and opens it.
Delivery Man: Excuse me, did you order all of this ACME products?
Doofenshmirtz: Excuse me? I don't even know what those things-
Before Doofenshmirtz could finish, Wile hit him with a chair and set him down, then gave the Delivery Man the credit card and took all of his ACME products.
Delivery Man: Sign here please.
When Doof woke up he saw that Wile was paying with his Credit card and he got angry.
Doofenshmirtz: Hey, is that my credit card?
When Wile saw that Doofenshmirtz had got up and was running to him, Wile took a Portable Hole from the ACME product box and threw it under Doof causing him to fall downstairs. After that Wile removed the Hole and started taking the other ACME stuff to defeat Doof. After a while, Doof enters the door angry.
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, you little dog good for nothing, when I found you you will enter a new world of pai-
Before Doof could finish his threat, he found a sign pointing to a plate of Bacon, Doofenshmirtz didn't question anything and just started eating. Without realizing it, there was a piano on top of which was supported by a rope that Wile had cut, but the Piano remained floating there for no reason.
Wile was surprised by that, so he moves Doofenshmirtz to see what the problem was, but in doing so the piano falls on top of him. When Wile managed to escape the shattered Piano, he saw that Doof was aiming at him with the Disintegrator-inator and tries to destroy it, but Doof shot the pieces of the piano instead of Wile.
At that time Wile would throw Doof some Iron Glue to keep Doofenshmirtz in place, while Doof tries to escape, Wile is preparing to use an Indestructo Steel Ball to crush Doof, but before he could hit him, Doof took a Elug bottle to escape from there, when Wile went there he destroyed half of the Doofenshmirtz department, but not the doctor himself.
When Wile got out of the metad fly he saw that Doofenshmirtz was running to a part of his department and started to follow him in silence.
Doof went to a room where his old Shrink Spheria was.
Doofenshmirtz: this coyote guy is smarter than I expected, I'm going to have to take even more drastic steps to get rid of him.
At this time, Doof was re-programming his machine to make things be chosen at such a small molecular level that they would not exist, and in the process added coyotes to the list of things he hates to get rid of that disgusting thing.
When Doofenshmirtz was done with everything and was ready to press the button, Wile appeared behind him and tried to eat him alive, but Doof hit Wile and left him on the floor, but Wile had a plan B, since Wile He had a control that would activate all the explosive in the ACME box, and when he saw Doof was about to press the button, Wile pressed his first, causing the entire building to explode.
We see a lot of Ruins, everything is destroyed, but miraculously Doof is alive, although his legs are caught by debris, meanwhile, Wile appears almost destroyed while holding a large Rock in order to end Doof's Misery.
In another part of the place, we see that the button to activate the Shrink Spheria is pressed by a falling piece of wall and when it is pressed, Wile feels something strange.
The rock that was supposed to end Doof is thrown on its side while Wile is slowly shrinking, while Wile is still visible, he pulls out a huge sign saying I think I should have seen this coming and then disappears from existence.
Doofenshmirtz: Well... that was my plan from the start, obviously.
Results[]
K.O.!
Boomstick: WOW, that was Lunatic.
Wiz: At first glance this battle could be seen on one side only, Wile has shown himself to have a brilliant strategic mind, his simple plans are very effective, and considering how... distracted Doof is, we have no doubt that he would have caught in one of Wile's traps, and taking into account the physiology of a coyote, Wile could be faster than Doofenshmirtz.
Boomstick: Yes, but that's all Wile had in his favor, although if Wile had more Toon Force than Doof, Wile's Toon Force always went against him and without a doubt it would have cost him victory.
Wiz: And that's not all, taking into account the fights Doof has had with Perry, we find that Heinz has more experience fighting hand-to-hand and more movement reaction than Wile.
Boomstick: But believe it or not, despite the fact that Wile is a Looney Tunes, Doof has shown that it has more durability than Wile and even if Wile has any sign of superior durability, Doof had devices that could destroy reality that are a thousand times more lethal than anything that ACME have, so I think home-made is better than anything bought.
Wiz: Wile had the intelligence and speed to stay in the fight, but with superior combat experience, greater durability and huge arsenal, gave Doofenshmirtz the victory.
Boomstick: It seems that Doof knew one or two Coyo-Things.
Wiz: The Winner... is Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
