Superman vs. Hercules

Description

RedDead35000's Superman vs. Hercules

Marvel and DC have put out plenty of powerful titans of strength and skill. But these two are in a league of their own power.

Intro

Wiz: There are the strongest men of their universes.

Boomstick: Hercules, the son of Zeus.

Wiz: And Superman, the man of steel. For this battle, we will only use post Crisis Superman, who cannot pull entire planets on his back or sneeze galaxies out of existence, or make up new powers on the fly. We are also not allowing Chaos War Hercules as that would be extremely unfair.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!!!

The Man of Steel, Superman

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Wiz: Born on the planet Krypton, Kal El was sent to earth to save him from the destruction of his homeworld.

Boomstick: How was Krypton blown to smitherins, Wiz? I thought them white clothed cult martians were advanced from normal folk.

Wiz: Well, they look like humans, kind of.

Boomstick: Well, his planet got blown to bits and he landed in a itty bitty town called Smallville. Who on this green earth would name a stinkin' town Smallville? It ain't small!

Wiz: It kind of is.

Boomstick: Anywho, baby-martian-that-looks-like-a-human was named Clark, after his human mama's middle name.

Wiz: Clark grew up in the care of two loving human beings, Jonathan and Martha Kent who taught him about being a good person and justice. After two years of college, Clark went around the world as a secret superhero and settled down in Metropolis.

Boomstick: And then, he went off, showed his true colors of truth an' justice and was now known as the big ol' blue boy scout the people are-a callin' SUPERMAN.

Wiz: Due to his Kryptonian biology, Clark's body absorbed sunlight, giving him incredible power beyond any man's dream. But since everyone most likely knows Superman's powers...

Boomstick: Let's-a go over 'em anyway!

Wiz: Of course. Superman is no stranger to the obvious powers most heroes possess, including:

• Super strength.
• Super speed.
• Invunrability.
• Flight.
• Freeze breath.
• Heat vision.
• And his ability to tell the truth.

Stevethebarbarian

Boomstick: Tellin' the truth ain't no superpower.

Wiz: To him it is.

Boomstick: No it ain't.

Wiz: Moving on, Superman's powers make him one of the heaviest hitters in the DC Universe--

Boomstick: Now hold on there a minute, Wiz'rd. Justa tell me how a baby martian,

Wiz: Kryptonian.

Boomstick: Suddenly has super strength.

Wiz: Well, let's look at the science of Superman's powers!

As far as strength in Kryptonians and Daxamites, strength comes from the fact Krypton has a greater gravity than earth, causing the inhabitants to have greater muscle mass. Not to mention that yellow sunlight increases their power through what we call the Photonucleic Effect. The same can be said for super speed, flight and freeze breath.

Boomstick: What about them eye beams?

Wiz: His heat vision aren't actually lasers. That's actually regular sunlight in a concentrated beam coming out of his eyes. This is very much different than a common laser, which is actually a concentrated beam of radiation, not sunlight.

Boomstick: Ehh... Science?

Wiz: Because this is sunlight and not radiation, it drains Superman's overall power. Think of it like this: If you urinated only beer, the only thing that would drain isn't regular urine, but beer.

Boomstick: Weird. But okay, I kinda see what'cha mean.

Wiz: Superman is also highly intelligent, solving equations far beyond normal human intelligence.

Boomstick: But ol' blue boy has the best super punch called the Infinite Mass Punch. Wiz? Can you get the science lingo fer this?

Happyowo

Wiz: The Infinite Mass Punch is Superman's acceleration when he increases his speed to near light speed. The resulting punch is equal to that of 10 Octillion Megatons that can destroy planets, which is an amazing feat because Superman can push planets without destroying them.

Boomstick: So, how fast can boy scout fly?

Wiz: At his top speed, he can fly at around 94.2 quadrillion miles an hour. At his strongest, Superman can lift 200 quintillion tons and this was after he absorbed enough solar energy to NEARLY KILL HIM.

Boomstick: Thanks with all them powers, Superman has been savin' the world time and time, fightin' baddy after baddy.

Wiz: He's lifted the earth for five days without any sunlight and only breaking one sweat,

• He lifted the entire state of California from the San Andrea Fault Line to prevent the entire state from falling into the ocean,
• Superman crushed a piece of coal into a diamond,
• When fighting against other Kryptonians such as General Zod, his henchmen and Bizarro, Superman has trumped over them all,
• Survived the explosion of 50 red suns, which should have killed him,
• While fighting Superboy-Prime, he flew him through a red son and a Kryptonite asteroid belt,
• Resisted the pull of a black hole,
• Walked towards a giant machine gun while the bullets bounced off his eye and his chest,
• Crashed into the Moon and survives reentering Earth's atmosphere and exiting Earth's atmosphere,
• He closed up a black hole with his static electricity,
• And he lived to tell that he fought against Gods, God level entities or Multiverse level entities.

Boomstick: And 'e even flew faster than infinity, ACCIDENTALLY.

Wiz: He blew out a sun with a SINGLE BREATH IN SPACE.

Boomstick: Man, this guy needs anotha movie. I ain't talkin' 'bout Man of Steel 2.

Wiz: But we can't forget that he's weak against Kryptonite and magic. And when he doesn't get enough sunlight, his power is vastly limited. This is how he nearly died against Doomsday. But on multiple occasions, he's been outsmarted plenty of times by Lex Luthor and Batman.

Superman Returns - Bullet Scene

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Boomstick: But when in doubt, punch whatever ya doubtin'.

Wiz: Well, Superman doesn't always relies on his powers, more so on his impact on people that are inspired by him. He chooses to use his powers and mentality and save people, influencing them and showing the best that they can be. That is Superman's greatest power.

Boomstick: Yeah, too bad we ain't got a Superman movie that looks more at the human part of Superman.

Wiz: Boomstick, that's profound.

Boomstick: Yeah? Welp, let's crack open a beer and enjoy the big blue boy scout. To Superman!

Wiz: To Superman.

The Prince of Power, Hercules

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Wiz: In an era of Gods, quipping action heroes and morally gray vigilantes we rarely see heroes who are in between man and God.

Boomstick: Welp, ya know how lot of them Greek heroes were Zeus's? What if one of them was a superhero?

Wiz: Heracles was born as the son of a woman named Alcmena in ancient Greece thousands of years ago. During his upbringing, he noticed something... different about himself.

Boomstick: 'Fore ya say somethin' 'bout the Disney movie, trust me this is kinda better. Remember how Hades tried to kill his baby nephew?

Wiz: In this version, it's Hera, Zeus' wife who tried to kill him by putting snakes in his crib! And that's not even the strangest part.

Boomstick: Eh. That's Friday nights in the trailer park.

Wiz: Of course, Heracles being who he was, he survived.

Boomstick: Wait, what's the weird part?

Wiz: In this version, Alcmena gives her child to Athena and Hera. Hera tried to breastfeed him and of course, his Godly strength caused him to bite her so hard that she stopped and threw him AT THE CITY WALL.

Boomstick: That's one tough baby. So Alcmena took the kid back in and named 'im... Heracles? Thought 'is name was Hercules.

Wiz: Well, Heracles is his Greek name, but when the Romans adopted most of Greek culture, the changed his name to Hercules. In this, Heracles means, "Glory of Hera." After many years, Heracles got stronger and ended up causing a war in Greece that put him in prison and changed his name to Hercules to spite Hera.

Boomstick: Thank Zeus, he got a get-outta-jail-free card in the form of Jason and the Argo-naughts lookin' for a gold sheep.

Wiz: You mean the Golden Fleece.

Boomstick: Yeah, that. So after that, he did his famous 12 tasks that he wanted to prove to Zeus that he earned his immortality. But the last one was to kidnap 'is uncle Hade's pet dog with three heads. He completed and got a few wifes, the third one he cheated on. When that happened, he got poisoned by her with Hydra blood, threw himself into a fire and died.

Wiz: His soul burned for three days until it went to the underworld, but Zeus took pity on him and stripped Hercules of his human life, making him a full-God. But thousands of years later, he was freed by the Enchantress who hypnotized him into fighting the Avengers and was broken out of Enchantress's control thanks to Hawkeye. The Avengers gave him a place to live and he helped the Avengers on their adventures.

Boomstick: Welp, now he's a SUPERHERO. And waaay betta than Schwarzenegger. Heck, that guy ain't got the weapons Herc here does.

Wiz: And much like a superhero, Hercules has powers and weapons of one. Some of these weapons include the sword of Peleus that can cut even through molecules, the Shield of Perseus which can turn anyone who looks into the eyes into stone (the effects are temporary.), arrows that can pierce anything, the Adamantine Mace which Hercules claims can shatter Thor's Hammer and the Helm of Hades. As far as powers, he has superhuman strength, superhuman speed, superhuman endurance and even the ability to smell magic.

Boomstick: What's magic smell like?

Wiz: Sulfur most likely.

Boomstick: Thanks to him bein' Zeus's baby, Herc ended up with superpowers that make him really awesome. He's got 'is iconic God-like strength, superhuman speed, reflexes, agility, stamina, invulnerability (from drinkin' Hera's breast milk.), super-duper healin' factor and immortality.

Wiz: His powers are so great that its been allowing him to easily

• destroy Sentinels,
• has hit Iron Man with an Oil Tanker,
• deflected trees that were thrown at him,
• kicked a truck so hard that it flew,
• shattered an anvil that was dropped on his head,
• nearly destroyed a planet with the help of Thor,
• defeated Abomination with a single punch,
• leveled a mountain, destroyed Ragnarok with his own hammer,
• taken out most of the Avengers,
• held up a falling ferris wheel, held up buildings,
• threw Godzilla,
• took hits from Worldbreaker Hulk while not even trying to fight back,
• was hit with Thor's hammer and survived,
• caused Deadpool's swords to shatter,
• dodged Thor's Hammer and Destroyer's blasts,
• managed to hit Quicksilver,
• caught the Sentry in mid-flight,
• shot one of Hobgoblin's pumpkin bombs in mid-air
• And has even restrained Magneto.

Boomstick: Don't ferget that he saved the dang planet around 85 times.

Avengers Assemble Hercules

Wiz: Of course, like many characters with God-like powers he is very, very arrogant, causing him to mess up sometimes. He's also very weak to Hydra blood and when he goes into a very mad rage, he will lose control and can even be hypnotized into doing things that will cause the deaths of his loved ones or himself.

Boomstick: Ain't there another one?

Wiz: He's a heavy drinker. Very heavy drinker. You could not get him to enough AA meetings to dent the amount of alcohol he has consumed.

Boomstick: That ain't a weakness. Look at me, I'm in my prime!

Wiz: Mmm...

Boomstick: But ya gotta admit, he's one tough son of a gun. Hercules may be a ragin' drinkin' demi-god, but he's a friggin' AWESOME ragin' drinkin' demi-god!

The Combatants are Set, IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!

Pre-Fight

(Clark Kent sits on a porch swing on the Kent family farm watching the sun rise. He sits back and rests his eyes but then hears a sound. Standing up, he makes out what the sound is. It's a message. Someone to challenge him.)

???: Superman! Your reign of terror is over!

(Pulling off his glasses, he runs into the barn and pulls open his shirt to reveal the symbol of hope. In New York, the mighty Hercules stands on a rooftop, watching the city. The wind begins to blow faster than ever, with a blue and red streak flies above the sky. The demi-god smiles and pulls out the Adamantine Mace prepared to fight. Superman floats down and locks eyes with Hercules.)

Superman: Who are you?

Hercules: I am Hercules, prince of power. My father Zeus told me, that you recently returned from a universe where you became evil.

Superman: What do you mean by, "Reign of terror?"

Hercules: Superman, you must be killed to make sure what happened in that world and I am the only one who can do this.

Superman: I won't kill.

(He turns around and starts to fly away.)

Hercules: Do not turn away from me!

(Hercules throws the mace which strikes Superman in the back, sending him crashing into the street.)

FIGHT!

(Superman gets back up and sees Hercules jump down attempting to crush him. Before he can slam himself upon the Man of Steel, Hercules is blasted by a beam of heat vision. Not holding back, he manages to blast Hercules into a building where he runs out and punches Superman into another building. Hercules picks up his mace and charges at Superman, planning to strike him again. To prevent any human casualties in the city, he flies away, leading the powerful Hercules away from the city. The two end up going to a bare forest without any human beings in a good 25 mile radius in Canada where Superman uses his heat vision again, but nothing. Using the sunlight to recharge himself, Superman takes a deep breath and blows air in Hercules's direction to try and freeze him. Stopping him from moving for a couple seconds, Hercules explodes out of the ice and bashes Superman across the face, causing him to crash at an abandoned farm in Montana.)

Superman: Augh, that felt like...

(Hercules stops his feet in Superman's chest.)

Superman: Magic.

(He grabs his feet and throws Hercules off, absorbing more sunlight and then catches his arm when Hercules tries to smash in his head. Then he throws Hercules into the mountain and punched him so hard that the mountain around him breaks. Picking up Hercules, he throws him into the atmosphere and flies after him. He punches Hercules and tries to get him into space. The Prince of Power strikes him with the Mace and he starts to fall back to earth. Superman shakes off the attack and tries to find Hercules, who loads one of Apollo's arrows into the bow. He points the arrow at him and fires one of them right at Superman, striking him in the shoulder. Seeing Hercules loading more arrows, he flies and evades the arrows. Hercules crashes into Antarctica and goes to fire another arrow into Superman's chest, but when he fires the arrow, Superman appears behind him holding the arrow.)

Superman: Really?

(He flicks the arrow into space and punches Hercules in the face. The Demi-god stands back up, pulls out the Sword of Peleus and laughs. The two heroes charges at each other, Superman's cape flowing in the wind, Hercule's bare knuckles swinging through the air. Red boots and leather sanders stomp into the ground as they go to take down the other. Superman pulls back his fist to hit Hercules in the head while Hercules goes to slice Superman in half. When they finally clash, Hercules catches his fist while Superman catches the Son of Zeus's hand with the sword. Both parties refuse to bend the knee, the ground cracks around them, they struggle to force the other to be killed. Mountains crumble, oceans shake, the storm clouds block the sunlight, Hercules begins to lower the sword and starts to cut Superman's skin with the magic sword. The sun begins to shine through and touches Superman's skin, making his strength greater and greater, nearly overpowering him, but the clouds covers the sun and Hercules stabs the Man of Steel in the chest, causing he to cry out in pain. Hercules then picks up Superman and throws him into space, particularly towards the Sun.)

Hercules: There is no one who can best the mighty Hercules.

(He stops and realizes what he's done.)

Hercules: Wait. The Sun. His power comes from the Sun! What have I done?!

(Superman's skin touches the light and begins to heal his wounds. His eyes open to reveal his eyes ready to use heat vision and he flies back to Earth and smashes both fists into Hercules's chest and flies into the air. Hercules tries to slice him with the sword, but Superman grabs his arm, freezes the sword and shatters the blade. He then punches Hercules in the chest, keeping him at bay, but Hercules manages to keep himself away for a few minutes to use the Shield of Perseus to try and turn Superman into stone. He turns and faces the shield at Superman, hoping to turn him into stone. But then, nothing. Even the silence in the air would be something. Hercules opens his eyes and sees the shield is gone. He turns to see Superman holding the shield.)

Superman: Really? C'mon. Everybody knows about Perseus's Medusa shield.

(Superman then throws the shield into the air. Hercules tries to punch Superman, but he uses his super speed and runs behind him. Angered beyond all known types of anger in all of existance, Hercules becomes extremely violent and does everything to kill the Man of Steel. But then, Superman then flies into the air, catches the shield, flies back and flashes it in Hercule's face.)

Superman: Say cheese!

(Hercules turns to stone and Superman smashes him into pieces. Then he goes to sit down on the Kent farm in his normal attire and let himself recharge with solar energy. With the shield, he gets an idea.)

Clark: Wonder if this works on Darkseid.

MadMaxPyro

Results

Hipper

Boomstick: Put yer pitchforks down right friggin' now!

Wiz: Allow us to explain. While Hercules has weapons armed with magic, Hercules is NOWHERE as fast as Superman. As far we could tell, Hercules was about as fast as Quiksilver. Just to put this into perspective, THAT IS NOWHERE NEAR SUPERMAN'S TOP SPEED.

Boomstick: What 'bout strength? Well, ya gotta remember: Hercules may have arm wrestled Thor, A FRIGGIN' GOD, the big blue boy scout 'ere took on SHAZAM, who's got the power of five gods and a king!

Wiz: And one of those Gods, Zeus caused 1/34th the power equivalent to the Big Bang! But we can't forget the one piece of evidence that seals the deal: Superman has fought Darkseid multiple times and has even won! And Darkseid is literally A GOD.

Boomstick: If that ain't proof, I dunno what is!

Wiz: Superman had the expertise, speed and strength to end this fight once and for all.

Boomstick: Looks like Superman set his victory in stone.

Wiz: The winner is Superman.