Description[]
Mamma mia! Two of the strongest (and weirdest) versions of the Italian plumber duke it out! Who will win? Who will rest in spaghetti?
Trivia[]
The connection between Mario-kun and SMG4 Mario is that they are alternate takes on the Mario video game character who exist in other forms of media (manga, YouTube). Though they share similar designs to the red-capped plumber, they are far more immature and somewhat sociopathic albeit for different reasons. Mario-kun was designed to appeal to younger audiences despite being around the same age as the game version while SMG4 Mario's personality stems from his very low intelligence. Despite these traits, both Marios are just as strong if not stronger than the canon Mario we all know as they have shown cosmic level feats and have defeated godlike opponents (Dimentio, SMG0) as well as possessing fourth wall awareness and toon force.
Intro[]
Wiz: Mario is one of the most famous characters in video game history and his heroic personality and good nature have inspired millions across the years.
Boomstick: But these two versions must have eaten too many 'shrooms because holy shit are they f**king crazy.
Wiz: Mario-kun, the plumber whose mind is as dirty as his job.
Boomstick: And SMG4 Mario, the spaghetti-loving meme maniac. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons armor and skills to find out who would win... A DEATH BATTLE!!
Super Mario-kun is Playing with Power in DEATH BATTLE![]
Boomstick: We’ve seen Mario as a middle-aged man, a baby, and if you’re into memes, a grand dad, but one era of the red-capped plumber's life we’ve never got to see is his teenage years.
Wiz: And thank god, because the last thing we need is Mario jamming out to Nirvana with spots on his face.
Boomstick: Unfortunately, there does exist a version that comes close to fulfilling that fanfiction quota: Super Mario-kun.
Background:
-Name: Mario (or Mario-kun)
-Age: 24-25
-Italian
-Plumber
-Lives in the Mushroom Kingdom
-Like cooking, swearing, farting, and peeing
Wiz: Mario, or Mario-kun if you prefer, seemingly exists in an alternate timeline. Though he shares many similarities with the Mario we all know, his maturity is quite lacking in comparison.
Popup: Kun is a Japanese honorific used for young men, likely explaining why Mario-kun is less mature than Game Mario despite sharing the same age.
Boomstick: Not only does this Mario swear all the goddamn time, but in one issue, he straight up urinated on Yoshi for no reason! What the f**k?
Wiz: Actually Boomstick, he did that to defeat a giant Fryguy enemy which Yoshi became a living voodoo doll for. Yoshi getting peed on meant the same for Fryguy which resulted in his flame getting put out.
Boomstick: And that, my friends, is just a small glimpse into the batshit insanity that is the Super Mario-kun manga.
Wiz: Still, Mario-kun is not one to be underestimated as he is more than capable of matching the video game Mario in power.
Boomstick: The guy shares many of the same power-ups as Game Mario. You know, the Fire Flower, Cape Feather, Starman, all that stuff. In fact, pretty much every power-up Game Mario has used, Mario-kun has used too, albeit with some notable differences. For example, you know how Mario has a hammer? Well, the version in the manga is alive and has the same personality as that sexy ghost chick from Thousand Year Door. How weird would it be if the hammer you had in your garage kept trying to make out with you when you wanted to use it?
Wiz: However, Mario-kun has several entirely original abilities at his disposal too.
Arsenal:
- Panel 1
-Mushrooms (Can increase the size of objects, including Mario)
-Fire Flower/Fireball Mario (Can shoot fireballs and ingest them to make his body flammable)
-Cape Feather (Grants Mario flight)
-3-Up Moon/Moon Mario (Allows Mario to fly, engulf himself in flames, and throw moon-shaped boomerangs)
-Extra Lives/Cloning (Can clone himself using extra lives gained from 1-Up Mushrooms, 3-Up Moons, etc)
-Mushroom Sword (Resembles Link’s Master Sword)
-Super Power-Up Mario (Combines all power-ups Mario has into one)
-Miracle Mario (Fuses Mario with nearby enemies)
- Panel 2
-Chef Mario (Uses Yoshi Cookies to create a wall of panels and can throw them to stun foes)
-5UP Moon (Quintuples his strength)
-Hammer (Has Madame Flurrie’s personality)
-Enemy Armor (Combines several enemies into protective armor)
-Super Scope
-Mystery Mushroom (Can turn a pipe into a bazooka)
-Egg Shell Armor (Armor protects Mario and can fire star-shaped projectiles)
-Starman/Star Gun (Makes Mario invincible and can turn into a gun)
- Panel 3
-Ice Flower
-Metal Cap
-Wing Cap
-Super Bell
-Barrel Time-Machine
-Mini Mario-Mech
-Paper Form (Can fold himself into different objects: Paper airplane, origami animals, toilet paper, etc)
-Golden Tanooki Suit (Makes Mario invincible for an unlimited amount of time, can still be damaged by long falls)
-Great Mushroom/Super Mario Great (Turns Mario into a giant)
Boomstick: For example, you know how 1-Up Mushrooms give regular Mario extra lives? Well, Mario-kun can use them to create clones of himself and can even share his power-ups with them whenever he wants.
Wiz: Mario can create up to 99 clones of himself and it’s confirmed that they are a result of Mario sacrificing one of his available lives, meaning that Mario-kun canonically possesses multiple lives.
Popup: Mario-kun was once killed in Volume 1 of the manga, but was revived after Wendy’s ghost kicked him out of the afterlife. It’s possible this is meant to represent what happens when Mario loses a life.
Wiz: However, these lives aren’t just used for cloning as Mario can also use a 3-Up Moon to become Moon Mario, allowing him to fly, gain invincibility, and throw tiny moon-shaped boomerangs that he controls with his mind.
Boomstick: And that’s only scratching the surface. He can use a 5-Up moon to quintuple his strength, summon a giant mech made of Mini-Marios, and travel through time with a time-machine made out of a giant barrel which comes equipped with a giant nose that literally senses what era a time traveler went to.
Wiz: And to those who've always dreamed of a Mario/Zelda crossover, Mario-kun was once transported to the Zelda universe where he gained access to the Mushroom Sword, basically the Mario equivalent to Link’s Master Sword.
Boomstick: He can use it to slice and dice through any foe or charge up the blade to unleash a beam of energy. Eat your heart out Super Smash Bros, this is the crossover we truly needed.
Wiz: Actually, Mario-kun has encountered several characters and elements from other video games, including Kirby, and F-Zero vehicles. Hell, Wario once got equipped with Mega Man’s Mega Buster which Mario had to defeat.
Popup: Mario-kun has also encountered characters from Doraemon, likely because both mangas were released in the same magazine.
Wiz: Mario can even use real-life Nintendo controllers as weapons including SNES nunchucks which can freeze time with the pause button, though it is important to note that it also freezes him as well, and he can also use the Super Scope controller as a gun. Mario also possesses these special kinds of Mushrooms called Great Mushrooms, which he keeps in a dispenser. Upon consuming one, he becomes Super Mario Great, a form that increases his size drastically allowing him to fight Kaiju-sized monsters. He also comes equipped with a wristband that allows to channel the abilities of a Starman whenever he wants on top of granting him flight and the ability to summon a giant star shield.
Boomstick: And I thought Francis was the weebiest shit I’ve seen from the Mario series. And if for some reason, Mario doesn’t have any power-ups on hand, he can pull random objects out of his ass, which range from ordinary glue to an ax which he used to slice an airplane in half! I wish I was joking. In fact, Mario seems to possess some kind of Toon Force, you know, the kind that turns characters like Popeye into basically gods? Not only can he pull out any object on the fly, but he can even grab items from the item display screen below. Plus, he can reassemble his body basically any way he wants. He once exploded after being inflated into a balloon and was completely fine afterwards. Hell, he was once hit so hard that his eyes, mouth, and nose were knocked off his face, and he just put them back on like nothing happened!
Wiz: Mario can even break through the panels of his own Manga and enter the real world and communicate with his own author.
Boomstick: Holy shit, he is Popeye!
Wiz: In fact, Mario actually talks to his author quite a lot, asking him to give him power-ups if he needs any. He can even ask him to write new material for his story though it is important to know that the author still has complete control over what happens to Mario while in his manga.
Boomstick: Key words “in his manga”. While Mario has never picked a fight with his author, his arch-nemesis Bowser has. He once exited his own story and beat the shit out of him without breaking a sweat, and given Mario still manages to kick Bowser’s ass on a daily basis, he should be capable of doing the same.
Wiz: Even while inside his manga, Bowser has shown to be more than capable of controlling his story how he sees fit. When Mario was about to defeat him during the events of Super Mario 64, he straight up deleted the save file, because apparently the Mario-kun universe exists in a video game for some reason, forcing Mario to start his adventure all over.
Popup: Mario can also compare to Yoshi who once exited his manga and rotated the panel he was on to alter the gravity.
Boomstick: And believe it or not, Bowser’s fourth wall breaking bullshit might not even be the most insane power Mario has faced. By using the power of the Pure Hearts, he was able to defeat Dimentio, a creepy-ass reality-warping jester who, together with the Chaos Heart, had the power to destroy every universe in existence!
Popup: The Pure Hearts are not something Mario-kun can regularly access but given he spent the entire Super Paper Mario arc searching for them and were an integral part in completing his quest, he will be allowed access to them in the fight.
Wiz: I think it’s pretty clear that Mario-kun is absolutely nuts.
Feats:
-Defeated Dimentio
-Broke through manga panels
-One shot Gloomtail with Bowser’s help
-Pulled the sun down to Earth
-Survival being crushed by Pac E. Derm’s metal testicles…seriously
-Casually defeats Bowser who beat up his own author
-Was blown into pieces but was completely fine afterwards
-Defeated Manga Count Bleck who one-shot Paper Mario
Wiz: He’s strong enough to pull the sun down to Earth, albeit a much smaller sun than our own, outran a speeding F-Zero vehicle which can go 400 mph, froze the entire overworld into an ice cube with Penguin Mario, and can even access the Golden Tanooki Suit, which provides Mario-kun complete invincibility for an unlimited time, although he is still vulnerable to long falls for some reason.
Boomstick: And if Mario needs to access all his power-ups at once, he can become Super Power-Up Mario, which combines every power-up he currently has. Honestly, is there anything this guy can’t do?
Wiz: As ridiculously overpowered as Mario-kun is, though, he has a tendency to act more like a bully than a warrior. For example, remember that time he split an airplane in half with an ax? He did that while Luigi and Yoshi were on it just so they wouldn’t reach the island he was vacationing on.
Boomstick: There was also this one time he and Luigi pulled down the pants of this guy named Burt the Bashful and exposed his penis, and then they laughed at how tiny it was. I wish I could make this shit up.
Wiz: Still, Mario-kun combines the sheer might of an anime character with the logic-breaking of a cartoon character. Anyone who encounters his foul mouth should best run off, unless they're in the mood for a serious ass-whooping.
Boomstick: There was also this one time Mario-kun made his head come out of his ass, so if he fights in that state, should we call it an ass-ass-whooping?
SMG4 Mario is gonna do something illegal in DEATH BATTLE![]
Wiz: Somewhere, in a faraway place known as the internet, there exists an alternate version of the Mushroom Kingdom and for many years things seemed pretty normal. A plumber by the name of Mario would spend his days protecting his home and the Princess from the tyrannical Bowser of the Koopas and after saving his world yet again, Mario and Peach would rest atop their castle celebrating their unbreakable bond. Things couldn't have been better, until suddenly, a mysterious object fell from the sky. A… giant USB.
Boomstick: What! You mean the thing that connects to your phone? What’s so special about that? What’s it gonna do, charge people to death?
Wiz: Mario went to investigate the device, until it suddenly zapped him, altering his mind and personality forever. The once selfless and optimistic hero was now…
Boomstick: A complete idiot.
Background:
-Full Name: Mario Sexy The Plumber (aka Stupid Mario and Optimus Prime 3000)
-Age: Varies from 30 to 86
-Height: Same as Game Mario
-Weight: Varies from 12,888 lbs to Infinite
-Resides in Universe #8052011
-SMG4’s Avatar
-Likes: Spaghetti, Pizza, Memes, Golden Girls, Club Penguin
-Dislikes: Teletubbies, Justin Bieber, Exercising, Baha Men, that Boys vs. Girls episode
Wiz: Comparing SMG4 Mario to his gaming counterpart is like comparing natural water to sink water. They may look similar on the outside but will leave you with a very different taste in your mouth.
Popup: Feats Mario has done in the SMG4 Crew/Mario Does Things series won't be included since those videos are not considered canon to SMG4 lore.
Boomstick: Whereas Game Mario is constantly cheerful and always willing to help his friends, SMG4 Mario is more likely to start humping his spaghetti than protecting his kingdom. Still, despite being dimmer than a 1000 year-old light-bulb, you’d be mistaken if you think this Mario can’t fight. He’s just as strong, fast, and tough as Mario’s get. He can lift large buildings with ease, keep up with speeding cars, and despite weighing well over a thousand lbs can jump as high and efficiently as Jumpman himself.
Wiz: It seems that USB must have also altered Mario’s physiology as he can shapeshift his body anyway he wants, almost like a cartoon character.
Boomstick: Oh boy. Here we go again.
Powers and Abilities:
-Shapeshifting
-Backwards Long Jump (aka the BLJ)
-Mustache (Can be used as a boomerang or to reflect projectiles)
-Cloning
-Teleportation
-Rapping
-Fourth Wall Awareness
-Toon Force
Wiz: Not only can Mario squish and squash his body however he likes, he can phase through objects, defy the laws of gravity, and even appear inside random objects. His malleable physique also allows him to morph his body into different objects and even change animation styles all together.
Boomstick: Plus, the guy has an insane healing factor. He can survive being beheaded, having his skin burnt off, taking multiple arrow shots to the back, and having his entire body self-destruct. And if the guy gets fed up with having to carry his fatass, he can straight up exit it as a ghost, though he can still be harmed from physical attacks, kind of defeating the purpose.
Wiz: Mario doesn’t even have to do anything to pose a threat.
Boomstick: You mean like how Luigi wins all those Mario Party games?
Wiz: No, I mean with how just one look at his birthday suit is enough to scare any passersby in his sight, including people in the real world watching his videos.
Boomstick: Oh, come on! With the economy in decline and climate change, some naked Italian plumber is what people are…
SMG4 Mario appears on Wiz and Boomstick’s screen with no clothes on, causing Wiz and Boomstick to run off in fear.
Boomstick: Ahhh! My eyes!!!!
Wiz: But of course it wouldn’t be Mario if he didn't have a wide array of power-ups on hand.
Power-Ups and Weapons:
- Panel 1
-Mushroom (Anyone who consumes it becomes high)
-Starman
-Firearms (Pistols, Rocket Launcher, Machine Gun, Shotgun, Pingas Launcher, Waluigi Launcher)
-Pokeballs
-NFT Zapper (Turns anyone into an NFT)
-Ink Boi 3000 (A lawnmower with Inkling properties)
-Time Boi (Takes Mario to a random point in time)
- Panel 2
-Buster Sword (SMG4 Mario only knows one attack)
-Nintendo Switch (Can create and delete anything from Mario Maker and summon doors to other worlds)
-Spicy Shroom (Allows Mario to breathe fire)
-Upgrade Button (Makes a random object significantly more powerful)
-Octobot King (Extendible arms, rockets, bullet bills, giant laser)
-Infinity Gauntlet (Psychic powers, hypnotism, summoning portals, rapid aging)
-Jojo Mario Form (Has Garfield as a stand)
-Super Saiyan Form (Gives Mario flight, teleportation, and Spirit Bomb technique, though Mario can perform all without this form)
Boomstick: Unlike other Marios who like to get their power from popping shrooms, SMG4 Mario has a style more up my alley: lots and lots of guns. Shotguns, machine guns, pistols, rocket launchers, even a gun fired from his pingas, the guy has it all.
Wiz: His most devastating firearm, though, is his Waluigi Launcher, which can launch the Smash reject a certain distance depending on the user. Mario was able to launch Waluigi an infinite amount of meters, eventually erasing him from existence.
Boomstick: And if Mario wants to get rid of an opponent fast, he can capture them in Pokéballs or use his phone to turn them into…NFTs. Remember when those things were popular?
Wiz: With the Time Boi he can travel to a random point in time. With the Nintendo Switch, he can summon any enemies or materials found in Mario Maker, even being capable of downloading entire levels which act as doorways to other universes. And with the Buster Sword, he can summon small whirlwinds that knock his opponent away.
Boomstick: Wait! The Buster Sword? Isn’t that the sword Cloud has?
Wiz: Believe it or not, yes. SMG4 Mario has visited several worlds from other video games including the likes of Undertale, Kingdom Hearts, and yes, even Skyrim.
Popup: Since SMG4 is not considered canon to any of those series, Mario will not be able to scale to any characters or weapons he has encountered, only comparing to feats they’ve done in SMG4.
Wiz: Hell, he once borrowed the Infinity Gauntlet from Thanos himself.
Boomstick: Wait, you’re telling me f**king Thanos willingly gave his own Infinity Gauntlet to some random Italian dumbass?
Wiz: Well, the world was populated with Minions at the time.
Boomstick: True. Anyway, the Infinity Gauntlet is possibly the deadliest tool in Mario’s arsenal. Not only does it drastically increase his strength but it allows him to crush his foes with psychic powers, age them rapidly, hypnotize them, and straight up erase them from existence.
Popup: Some could argue that Mario shouldn’t be allowed access to the Gauntlet since he had to borrow it from Thanos, but in War of the Fat Italians 2019, Mario was able to build it himself complete with all six Infinity Stones. Conversely, Mario will not be able to use the YouTube Remote since it is not something he can easily access and the only time he did was by luck.
Boomstick: The only downside is Mario can’t really make “you should’ve gone for the head” jokes given the whole decapitation immunity thing.
Wiz: Even without his weapons, though, Mario is absurdly tough.
Feats:
-Kicked Fishy Boopkins into a black hole and destroyed it
-Befriended Slenderman
-Survived being buried alive for 274 hours
-BLJ’d across three universes in 5 seconds
-Slapped the ass of everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom in less than 10 seconds
-Destroyed the Mario Movie universe
-Survived being launched though the fourth wall
-Defeated SMG3, Eldritch Zero, Ztar, Waluigi, and Mr. Puzzles
Wiz: He’s survived point blank nukes and atmospheric reentry, shat himself hard enough to destroy the Earth, can run fast enough to create a clone of himself, and once ate an entire planet’s worth of mushrooms in less than half an hour.
Boomstick: He’s easily bested alternate versions of himself included this creepy Mario head who was powerful enough to break apart the sky and that Grand Dad Mario we mentioned earlier who turned the entire world into a giant bootleg with a single punch. Plus, while playing a game of basketball, he kicked this weeby ass fish named Fishy Boopkins so hard, he destroyed a black hole. And, after turning Super Saiyan, yes, Super Saiyan, he was able to fly all the way to the sun in 5 seconds, making him millions of times faster than light.
Wiz: That’s cute. After using this glitch technique called a BLJ, Mario was able to launch himself so hard, he traveled through a black hole and across three dimensions in roughly the same amount of time. This would make Mario trillions upon trillions of times faster than light. Plus, after landing in the world of The Super Mario Bros. Movie and with help from a power star, he was able to kick a fireball so hard, he destroyed the entire universe. Damn.
Boomstick: Geez, who knew a guy who started his adventures making "yo momma" jokes would go on to possess universe-busting power.
Wiz: Unfortunately, the one thing holding Mario back is also his defining personality trait: he’s an idiot.
Boomstick: I mean, what do you really expect from a guy who, in a multiverse of infinite other Marios, one of which is a Wendy’s Kids’ Meal toy might I add, is nicknamed Stupid Mario.
Wiz: Also, Mario seems to have a severe case of ADHD as he struggles to sit still for even a second, and his self-destructive tendencies often result in him putting himself and his friends in danger.
Boomstick: And due to being the avatar for the Super Meme Guardians, yes, that’s what SMG stands for, if Mario were to die, that would not only be the end of him but his entire universe.
Wiz: Still, Mario’s absurd power makes it unlikely he’ll be going anywhere anytime soon. So if you ever see a crazy red-capped plumber chowing down on spaghetti, remember this: you don’t f**k with the Mario.
Boomstick: Well, unless you’re that inkling chick.
Wiz: Damn it, we were so close!
Interlude[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!
Fight[]
The battle opens on an outside view of the Grand Mario Hotel before transitioning to an inside view of the dinner room where dozens of Marios from alternate universes are happily eating food. SMG4 Mario is one of them, unsurprisingly eating his favorite meal: spaghetti. Suddenly, Mario-kun appears and is walking over to the table. However, he accidentally trips and lands face-first in SMG4 Mario’s spaghetti.
SMG4 Mario: Hey! You a-ruined my spaghetti!
Mario-kun: Oh, I’m sorry. It was an accident, like your birth. Laughs maniacally
SMG4 Mario: Triggered sound effect plays. That’s it! (Singsongy) I’m about to whip somebody’s ass.
Fight!
SMG4 Mario swings at Mario-kun, hitting him with well-timed punches before extending his nose to push him away. Mario-kun hurls fireballs at SMG4 which he easily jumps over before increasing his fat and crushing Kun with his weight. SMG4 picks up the flattened plumber and spins him around before throwing him through the nearby wall. SMG4 then takes out his duel pistols and rapidly shoots at Kun, which he counters by using the Cape Feather and spinning his cape to parry all the bullets. SMG4 Mario then uses his BLJ technique to rush at Mario Kun, but Kun uses the Penguin Suit to cover the ground in ice, causing SMG4 to uncontrollably slide on the ground and crash into the wall while Kun avoids him with a well-timed jump.
Mario-kun: Had enough, you little bastard?
SMG4 Mario angrily pulls out his Nintendo Switch which he uses to summon a giant wall of solid bricks that blocks Kun’s path. Kun then pulls out his hammer.
Mario-kun: Don’t think a brick wall will be enough to stop me.
[Madame Flurrie (Mario-kun’s hammer): No wall can stand in the way of true love, my sweet.]
Mario-kun: Ugh.
SMG4, meanwhile, quickly downloaded a level from Mario Maker using his Switch which summoned a door to another world. He opened the door to escape right when Mario-kun smashed through the wall with his hammer. SMG4 Mario walked through the door which led to a snow-themed level on the other side.
SMG4 Mario: Defeated now, bitch?
SMG4 quickly slammed the door as Mario-kun was running towards it. Unfortunately, the door slammed on Mario’s pingas which caused him to cry out in pain. Mario-kun decided to use his Super Scope to blast SMG4 away. He charged up a devastating shot which launched the still stuck plumber a large distance.
SMG4 Mario: Ow, my ovaries!
He eventually landed door-first on a nearby hill and almost immediately started sliding down it like he was on a sled.
SMG4 Mario: Help! I’ve a-fallen and I can’t get uuuuupppppp!
Mario-kun: No fair! I wanna slide too!
Mario-kun then creates a clone of himself which he pushes to the ground to ride like a snowboard. As SMG4 was uncontrollably sliding down the hill, Mario-kun followed right behind him on his “Marioboard”.
Mario-kun: Two can play at that game, Daffy Duck!
Kun started to ram into SMG4 and his “Doorboard” but SMG4 wouldn’t back down and started ramming into him as well. Kun decided to spice things up by pulling out his Mushroom Sword and swinging at SMG4 which he was able to duck under. SMG4 extended his nose once more, poking Kun in his right eye and blinding him.
Mario-kun: Ahhh-ya-ya!
Using his will-power, SMG4 Mario got his pingas out of the door and jumped right on his feet before pulling out his Buster Sword.
SMG4 Mario: (Chris Pratt voice) It’s a me, Mario.
The two plumbers engaged in a deadly sword fight as they continued sliding down the hill on their boards. Mario-kun was able to strike SMG4 with his beam attack, briefly splitting him in half, but SMG4’s regeneration allowed him to put himself back together instantly. Caught off guard, SMG4 was able to stab and blow away Kun using his sword’s wind properties. He then finished off Kun by using his rocket launcher to blow him up.
SMG4 Mario: Bye bye.
SMG4 Mario was so distracted by his supposed victory that he didn’t notice he was heading towards a cliff. When he finally realized, it was too late.
SMG4 Mario: Mamaf**ker.
SMG4 flew right over the cliff, screaming in terror the whole way. However, he could see the other side close by.
SMG4 Mario: I’m gonna make it!
[Voiceover: It was at this moment he knew, he was too fat.]
SMG4’s weight caused him to fall as quickly as a dumbbell down the cliff below. Mario-kun, on the other hand emerged from the rocket explosion either because he survived the blast or because he respawned after losing a life.
Mario-kun: Guess we should call ya Clifford, not just for meeting your end at a cliff but for being red and oh so BIG.
Mario-kun couldn’t gloat for long, though, as a sudden streak of light would appear from the cliff and soon, SMG4 Mario would appear up in his Super Saiyan Form.
Mario-kun: Well shi…
Mario-kun was quickly swept off his feet as SMG4 would unleash rapid fire punches at blitzing speeds that Kun simply couldn’t keep up with. SMG4 would then use his quirk to make his fist giant and hit Kun so hard he would fly into space and crash into a moon.
Mario-kun: Welp, time to bust out the big guns.
Mario-kun would pull out his Great Mushroom dispenser and upon consuming a mushroom, he would transform into Super Mario Great, increasing his size drastically. Despite the appearance change, SMG4 Mario wouldn’t hesitate in attacking Kun head-on, but Kun played smart and used his wrist band to activate the Starman, rendering him completely invincible. Super Saiyan Mario tried to attack Kun with more punches but to no avail. Super Mario Great easily knocked SMG4 away with a swipe before jumping at him and kicking and punching him several times. SMG4 was able to escape Kun’s onslaught by teleporting below him and then proceeded to grab his leg and swing him around and throw him back to the moon in a similar manner to Bowser.
SMG4 Mario: So long, straight fanfic!
Kun survived the impact without a scratch but his invincibility wore off. SMG4 used this opportunity to fire his Waluigi Launcher complete with the appropriate sound effect. The purple plumber (Is he a plumber? Idk) landed into Kun and started to spin around the moon at lightning fast speeds, hitting him over and over again. Mario-kun summoned his Star Shield which blocked Waluigi’s impact but it also gave SMG4 the opportunity to summon a spirit bomb and throw it right at him.
SMG4 Mario: (Voiceclip of Meggy from that stream where she sings) Oh yeah, Mr Krabs.
That’s when Kun had enough. He summoned the Pure Hearts and planned to end the fight right away.
Mario-kun: Alright, I’m done with this!
With the power of the hearts, Mario-kun easily swiped Waluigi away and lunged straight at SMG4, with his jump destroying the moon in the process. The spaghetti lover was shocked by the upcoming behemoth but wouldn’t back down as he would use the BLJ technique to launch himself straight at Kun. Despite Mario-kun’s power, the sheer speed of the BLJ would be too much as he would get hit by the attack which allowed SMG4 to lock him in a combo where he slammed into Kun over and over while circling the universe. SMG4’s speed was so immense, that he would open a riff in the space time continuum that would suck in all of reality in a similar manner to the Void from Super Paper Mario.
SMG4 Mario: This is not okie dokie.
The spaghetti lover, still in his Super Saiyan Form, started flying as fast as possible to escape the universe’s destruction.
Mario-kun: Stahp right there!
SMG4 Mario: Hey, that's my line! What-
Suddenly, Mario-kun would grab onto SMG4’s foot attempting to take him down with him. That’s when SMG4 brought out his trump card: the Infinity Gauntlet. He would use the Gauntlet’s power to push Kun into the riff only for him to respawn where he was before. SMG4 pushed him in several more times but he would keep coming back. Eventually, SMG4 had enough and tried to snap his fingers and erase Mario-kun from existence for good, but Kun managed to grab the Gauntlet and used the power of the Pure Hearts to pull it off.
SMG4: That’s very illegal.
Mario-kun: Lucky for you, I have the power to create the most wholesome sights you’ll see!
Mario-kun uses the Pure Hearts to project an image of Teletubbies dancing and hugging which causes SMG4 Mario to cringe so hard he becomes limp and helplessly falls into the riff, killing him once and for all.
[Voiceover: Ded.]
With reality still collapsing, Mario-kun uses the Gauntlet of his defeated opponent to summon a portal that allows him to escape the universe and return to the dinner table at the Grand Mario Hotel. The exhausted and bruised plumber limped back to his seat while another Mario next to him asked him a question.
[Other Mario: What the hell happened over there?]
Mario-kun: Oh nothing. I was just the subject of a fanfiction. Now how was YOUR day?
KO!
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: Geez, I knew hotel food tasted bad but I didn’t know it would lead to the destruction of the universe.
Wiz: SMG4 Mario was an extremely versatile and unpredictable opponent and would normally triumph against alternate versions of himself, but Mario-kun proved to be the exception. Firstly, when looking at the two from a physical standpoint, Mario-kun held far more advantages.
Boomstick: SMG4 may have the power to destroy a black hole and even survive being inside one, but Mario-kun has defeated the likes of Count Bleck and Dimentio who are capable of destroying and creating universes. Sure, SMG4 did destroy the Mario Movie universe but that was only with help from a Power Star which only lasts for a few seconds.
Popup: SMG4 Mario couldn’t use his Meme Avatar Form as that requires aid from SMG4 and SMG3. Its power pales in comparison to the Pure Hearts anyway.
Wiz: Even if SMG4 could kill Kun with brute force alone, Mario-kun could just respawn due to possessing multiple lives. SMG4 could potentially counter this with by deleting him from existence with his Infinity Gauntlet or turning him into an NFT with his zapper, but not only does he have very little experience using either, that would also require Kun doesn’t just turn himself invincible by using his wrist band or Golden Tanooki Suit, which he could do at any time.
Boomstick: And really, nothing SMG4 had could possibly counter any of Kun’s utterly broken fourth-wall hax or the Pure Hearts. Not only could Kun escape the fight whenever he wanted by jumping out of the animation, but he could easily enter the real world and force the animator to end the fight in his victory.
Popup: SMG4 has been affected by lesser means of reality warping such as the YouTube Remote and Nintendo Switch. Also, while he could potentially scare off the animator by becoming naked, Mario-kun would still be unreachable as SMG4 has only entered the real world with outside help.
Boomstick: I mean the guy casually whoops Bowser’s ass who defeated his own author, not to mention Bowser was also capable of resetting the entire events of the story by deleting his universe’s save file. Who’s to say Kun couldn’t do the same and undo any progress SMG4 made in the fight to give him the advantage.
Wiz: And while SMG4 may be faster from a physical standpoint due to his dimension hopping feat, Mario-kun is capable of traveling through manga panels and can compare with the likes of Wario who straight up broke into another manga series altogether. With that kind of hax, Mario-kun can easily appear in any area of the animation he wants, effectively making him almost omnipresent in a way.
Popup: Fourth-wall hax aside, Mario-kun has also kept up with Dimentio who casually teleports across dimensions, proving he would be well experienced in dealing with SMG4’s BLJ.
Wiz: And all this isn’t even mentioning how easily Mario-kun could end the fight with the Pure Hearts which give him the power to destroy every universe in existence. And keep in mind, the Mario-kun universe doesn’t just consist of the various worlds in Super Paper Mario and what not. It also features universes from other Nintendo games and even other manga all together.
Boomstick: I mean, with that kind of power, Mario-kun could simply tap SMG4 and obliterate him into pieces or cause multiversal destruction leaving SMG4 with nowhere to go. Being able to travel across dimensions in seconds doesn’t mean much when your opponent can destroy every universe you could escape to.
Popup: SMG4 Mario could potentially escape by creating a new universe with the Nintendo Switch or traveling to a different point in time with the Time Boi, but not only would creating a level take too long due to the loading times, Mario-kun could easily track SMG4 down with his own time machine due to its ability to sense the time period other time travelers went to.
Results:
Super Mario-kun:
- +Much smarter
- +More powerful and durable in base form
- +Multiversal with Pure Hearts
- +Respawns upon death from multiple lives
- +Unreachable with fourth-wall breaking hax
- +More versatility with power-ups
- -Physically slower
SMG4 Mario:
- +Physically faster
- +Could win the fight instantly with Infinity Gauntlet and NFT Zapper
- +Slightly superior healing factor
- -Much dumber
- -Physically weaker
- -No reliable counter to the Pure Hearts
- -Can’t enter the real world without help
Wiz: And this goes without saying but Mario-kun would be more than capable of outsmarting SMG4 and taking more advantage of his arsenal, while the chance of SMG4 even using the Infinity Gauntlet or any other weapons that could pose a threat to Kun would come down to sheer luck. SMG4 Mario may have the power of memes on his side, but much like memes in real life, it only lasts for so long.
Boomstick: Poor Mario. We’ll have to speak of him in the “pasta” tense from now on.
Wiz: The winner is Super Mario-kun.
