Description[]
Cartoon Network vs Nickelodeon! Which hero with a heart of gold and have a debate against Cookie Cats and Krabby Patties will win?
Intro[]
Wiz: Over the years, cartoons have evolved from the wacky rubber hose classics to the energetic and creative ones we have today. Some cartoons from the past even got fantastic reboots but not all reboots have been great. Even video games have gotten their own animated series
Boomstick: And what better way to have a cartoon themed fight then have two iconic warriors who try to make peace across their home towns yet they have a ridiculous chat war between their favourite foods. What has the internet come to nowadays?!
Wiz: Steven Universe, the half human and half gem pacifist of Beach City.
Boomstick: And SpongeBob SquarePants, fry cook of the Krusty Krab. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weaponry, armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Steven Universe[]
Wiz: A thousand years ago, an alternate species of diamonds ruled Earth. The main four diamonds were Yellow, White, Blue and Pink. However, Rose Quartz aka Pink Diamond was more silly and irresponsible unlike the other three. She was able to take over the Earth by convincing them into doing so.
Boomstick: After seeing what the planet we call home had to offer, Rose no longer wanted anything to do with ruling Earth. The other diamonds realized this before started a war and corrupting most of the Crystal Gems who end up becoming deadly.
Wiz: One day, Rose met a human named Greg Universe who she started dating. After so long, she decided she wanted a child. However, Rose would have to give up her physical form to give birth to him. The child was none other than Steven Universe!
Boomstick: Steven didn't know much about his mom as much as he knew his dad and the three members of the Crystal Gems were weren't corrupted by the diamonds. The Gems were Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl. Get this, the gems that are fused to turn into Garnet are Ruby and Sapphire are married.
Wiz: Moving on, Steven is quite powerful for his age, even when he was 13 years old. He can shapeshift like the other gems, use his gem's power to form a shield and even regenerate parts of his body.
Boomstick: Once he turned 16 years old, he gained heaps more abilities. Steven has superhuman speed, strength, and durability. He can even float above the air. Unfortunately, not all good things last.
Wiz: Steven is more of a pacifist and won't try to hurt or kill anyone. Plus, there's only one way to really kill Steven and that's by destroying his gem.
Boomstick: If you ever see the weak spot, you've got to be quick to destroy it.
Wiz: However, Steven was able to stop the war and make peace across the world, making him the most loved hero in Beach City.
Steven: I'm a member of the Crystal Gems. We fight monsters and protect humanity and stuff.
SpongeBob SquarePants[]
Wiz: Have you ever wonder what would happen if sea creatures would walk and talk? It's odd because there's a certain show on Nickelodeon that has something related to that question. In the underwater town of Bikini Bottom, there are more than just fish.
Boomstick: There are whales, crabs, starfishes, octopuses, jellyfish and a...uh...squirrel in a suit to help her breathe apparently. The main focus however is none other than Nickelodeon's mascot himself, (in tune to SpongeBob theme) Sponge-Bob Square-Pants!
Wiz: Born to Margaret and Harold SquarePants, SpongeBob is a very cheerful sea sponge with a huge heart of gold. He's always positive about his surroundings and enjoys spending time with his friends and his pet snail Gary.
Boomstick: A squirrel and a snail that live underwater? What?! What kind of logic does this show have? Anyways, he's best known for being the fry cook of the Krusty Krab, the place where you can get a delicious Krabby Patty. In other words, The Krusty Krab is basically the underwater version of McDonald's.
Wiz: SpongeBob may be nice but that doesn't stop him from having some great fighting skills. He has mastered karate, can use the power of Toon Force and even...oh no.
Boomstick: What is it Wiz?
SpongeBob suddenly appears out of nowhere.
SpongeBob: Hi there, buddies!
Boomstick: Oh god! Another fourth wall breaker!
Wiz: It's alright Boomstick. He rarely breaks the fourth wall. Right, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: He's not lying there.
Boomstick: Phew. That's good.
SpongeBob: Well, I'll let you continue on whatever you're doing! Bye!
SpongeBob leaves right away.
Boomstick: SpongeBob also has access to the magic page which can make anything he wants to happen actually happen in reality. He also wields the magic pencil which brings whatever he draws to life and it can even erase any object whether if it's a drawing or not! The best thing about SpongeBob is the fact that his toon force abilities are insane! It's extremely hard to do any harm against him.
Wiz: He can also turn into the Quickster which gives him the ability to run at superspeed, the Invincibubble which is a superhero like form that can trap people in bubbles which come out of the bubble blowing stick attached to his mask. However, the most powerful form he has is the Goofy Goober Wizard.
Boomstick: The guitar SpongeBob wields in this form can form an energy beam powered by the strumming of the guitar itself. Its beam is powerful enough to split metal in half! He can even levitate off the ground! However, he does have his weaknesses.
Wiz: SpongeBob is rather childish and incredibly stupid. He's mostly a pacifist. After all, his karate skills are made for fun and not for anything dangerous if necessary. He's also not extremely strong in his base form unless he uses his Toon Force to do so.
Boomstick: Still, he's been through many adventures after 20 years. He may be a nice guy to be around with but that doesn't stop him from being a serious fighter.
SpongeBob: I made it to Shell City, and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown back.
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright! The combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities!
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
Death Battle[]
Destination: Beach City (Steven Universe)
SpongeBob walks out of the ocean and appears in Beach City. He walks around for a bit as Steven sees a Cookie Cat he approaches and goes towards it. Unfortunately, it's too late as SpongeBob calmly kicks it away and accidentally gets it into the ocean, making it incredibly soggy. Steven looks in shock and looks towards SpongeBob who grabs out a Krabby Patty.
SpongeBob: There's nothing better to eat than a delicious Krabby Patty.
As SpongeBob goes to take a bite out of the Krabby Patty, Steven gets revenge and smacks it out of SpongeBob's hand. The Krabby Patty lands on the floor left to rot.
SpongeBob: Hey! What's the big idea?!
Steven: I just avenged the Cookie Cat you kicked into the ocean by ruining that burger of yours!
SpongeBob: Cookie Cat? What Cookie Cat?
Steven: That one right over there!
SpongeBob turns around and looks at the soggy Cookie Cat in the ocean with a shocked look.
SpongeBob: Whoops! Sorry about that. Look I didn't mean to do it!
Steven: I don't wanna hear it!
Steven crushes the Krabby Patty on the ground with his foot. SpongeBob gasps in shock and punches Steven in the face.
SpongeBob: So that's how it'll be huh? Bring it on, kid! Bring...it...ON!
SpongeBob gets into fighting stance as Steven unleashes his shield with the power of his gem.
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Steven goes to hit SpongeBob with his shield but he misses letting SpongeBob kick him in the chest. Steven punches SpongeBob back multiple times. Before Steven could attack him again, SpongeBob grabs out his spatula and tries to hit Steven who blocks it with his shield. SpongeBob rapidly hits Steven's shied until it shatters to pieces, leaving Steven vulnerable.
SpongeBob whacks Steven with the spatula and accidentally slashes him, causing a tiny bit of blood of drip in the process.
SpongeBob: Whoops. That didn't go as planned. Sorry about that.
Steven starts to levitate and leave SpongeBob on land. SpongeBob however uses his bubbles to his advantage to catch up with Steven. Unfortunately, the last bubble SpongeBob blows starts forming around him, trapping him inside the bubble which starts floating towards Steven.
Steven: Huh?
The bubble traps Steven inside too as he and SpongeBob continue their fight. They end up leaving Earth and are now above the Moon. SpongeBob sees where they are and quickly uses the Magic Page which he uses to write down what he wants to happen next. He writes down 'SpongeBob now has the ability to breathe in space whilst turning into the Invincibubble the moment he lands on the moon).
Once that's been done, he pops the bubble letting himself and Steven fall. Steven starts screaming in fear whilst SpongeBob continues to look down at the Moon's surface. They finally land, creating a smoky area around where Steven and SpongeBob landed. Once the smoke clears, SpongeBob charges at Steven as the Invincibubble.
The Invincibubble punches Steven in the face, letting him fall back. Steven gets up and looks at the Invincibubble.
Invincibubble: Come on! Is that all you got?
Steven: This is just my base form. It's time to transform into my final form.
Steven's skin starts to turn pink as he gets taller and stronger.
Invincibubble: Get ready for the Invincibubble!
Steven and the Invincibubble charge at each and collide as they try to push each other down. However, the Invinibubble plays it smart and blows some bubbles which come out of his bubble blowing stick that is attached to his mask. The bubbles pop into Steven's eyes which causes him to lose his focus. This gives the Invincibubble to punch him until Steven grabs his fists and tosses him away into orbit.
Steven: Phew. It's finally over.
SpongeBob (off-screen): Think again, pal!
Steven looks into the distance and sees SpongeBob who has now becomes the Goofy Goober Wizard.
SpongeBob: Time to rock and roll!
Steven: Oh come on!
SpongeBob starts charging up his laser by playing his electric guitar. He then starts blasting the lasers at Steven who dodges them whilst trying not to get hurt in the process. After a while, Steven gets hit by one of the lasers which pushes him down back to Earth. The moment Steven crashes back down on land, a huge explosion is formed. Steven turns back to normal as he's now knocked out from the laser and after he fell from the Moon and back to land. SpongeBob floats down and returns back to his base form.
SpongeBob: I won't kill you but it's clear that you don't mess with me again.
He walks into the water of Beach City and returns back to Bikini Bottom.
KO
Results[]
Boomstick: What?! Where's the death in this?! This is literally called Death Battle for a good reason!
Wiz: Aside of both of their lack of killer instincts, it didn't really seem like a close fight. Of course they were durable in their own ways but Steven didn't exactly have any toon force or faster regeneration.
Boomstick: Steven in his base form stood no chance against SpongeBob. Sure, he did survive being punched by the likes of Spinel but SpongeBob would probably be just fine if something like that ever happened to him. The only advantage Steven really had was intelligence and that's it.
Wiz: In comparison, SpongeBob was pretty much more skilled in combat thanks to his karate skills. His most useful item was the Magic Page.
Boomstick: Speaking of which, why couldn't SpongeBob use the Magic Page and erase Steven from there.
Wiz: That's the thing, SpongeBob would never erase anyone or even kill someone due to his pacifism. Steven also has the same thing when it comes to being a pacifist which could most likely explain his lack of weaponry and defeats. The only way you could kill Steven is to destroy his gem but since SpongeBob didn't know anything about the gem, he'll just have to walk away the winner without killing him off.
Boomstick: Plus, if Steven ever sliced SpongeBob into pieces he'll just multiply until they all reform, turning back to normal.
Wiz: It was a very...interesting fight but SpongeBob dominated Steven in almost every category except intelligence.
Boomstick: Steven had put a somewhat of a good fight yet SpongeBob still won fair and square.
Wiz: The winner is SpongeBob SquarePants!
Trivia[]
- The connections between Steven and SpongeBob are:
- Two kind hearted heroes who are usually never willing to cause harm unless any means necessary
- They're hometown as a place associated with the beach (Beach City and Bikini Bottom)
- They play the role of the leader of a group of their respective team of heroes (Crystal Gems and SpongeBob's crew)
- The two are also allies with a green intellectual creature (Peridot and (depending on the plot of the episode/movie) Plankton)
- This battle would be a sprite animation with a few hand drawn moments.
- The official SpongeBob Twitter account also happened to post a side by side comparison between the original version of the episode "Idiot Box" and the same episode in a Steven Universe style.
- This is the first What-If? Death Battle written by Speedy.
- The fight was intended to get remastered but it was eventually scrapped.
Original Track[]
