Interlude[]
Wiz: Heroes, they come in many shapes, sizes or ages, but some of the best are young, right Stanford Pines?
Stanford: Indeed, like Steven Universe, the gem and human hybrid.
Peridot: And Ash, the protagonist of the Pokémon anime and the Electric Tale of Pikachu manga.
TRAE: He’s Wiz, he’s Boomstick, the cool guy is Stanford, and the gal is Peridot. It is our job to analyze data and waste everyone’s time with a brilliant Death Battle.
NOTE THIS BATTLE allows his Pokémon to use any moves those Pokémon can learn.
Steven Universe[]
Peridot: Have you ever wondered what you would get if you mix childhood trauma, being a teen, being an alien human hybrid and therefore an outsider, most of your friends trying to kill you on at least one occasion, power that responds to your mental state and emotions, rage, literal different beings inside you (we’ll talk about that one a bit after the rest, it is a long story), a horrifying dark mind and insane hatred?
Stanford: You get Steven Universe, one of the best characters ever.
Wiz: Indeed. Steven Quartz Diamond Demayo Universe is the son of Rose Quartz, and the current Pink Diamond.
Boomstick: Pink Diamond, what a stupid name. I bet it’s worthless.
TRAE: Actually the Diamonds, including Pink, are flawless godly beings who ruled over gems and literally could remove the free will of others. Pink is the only one who could block and reflect that attack from White Diamond as well.
Boomstick: Wait what? That is intense.
Peridot: Indeed, the original Pink Diamond, Rose Quartz faked her death after she had grown to value all life and resent Homeworld’s ever expanding colonies.
TRAE: She retreated to Earth and started a rebellion known as the Crystal Gems.
Boomstick**off key**: WE, ARE THE CRYSTAL GEMS. WE’LL ALWAYS SA-.
Peridot: DON’T disgrace our catchy theme with your off key singing!
Stanford: Rose Quartz eventually won and met Gregory Demayo or Gregory Universe since he had his name legally changed. They soon got together and had a baby.
Boomstick: This baby was Steven Universe, the best of both worlds and ultimate being of Steven Universe.
Wiz: Though Rose had to give up her physical form to make Steven, she left him her gem and incredible power, which soon grew far above her own.
Peridot: However, that didn’t mean Steven had a good life, his life was constant trauma. It involved seeing multiple of himself melt in front of his eyes, nearly getting trapped in the ocean forever, nearly being killed by lack of oxygen and insane cold temperatures, his friends and guardians the rest of the original Crystal Gems dying temporarily in front of him, seeing Amethyst nearly die permanently, seeing an army of mutants attack Garnet and nearly make her come undone, a huge warrior named Jasper who we will talk about more later destabilizing Garnet and giving him a black eye as well as knocking him out before he wakes up imprisoned on a ship, having to hide from his friends to keep them out of danger, giving himself up and turning himself in so he would get sent to the Diamonds where he would likely have died just to save the Gems, nearly being killed by most of his friends often intentionally, a gem that tried to kill him having a crush on him, seeing all of his rebel allies the Crystal Gems being controlled by White Diamond and more.
Boomstick: I feel even more sick then I did when analyzing Sasuke for the Ebony Warrior vs Sasuke, and the Itachi thing alone made me sick!
Stanford: Get used to it, we will have both Sasuke and Steven in more battles. Our next battle is going to be Steven Universe vs Naruto, which was decided by a poll.
Wiz: Steven eventually met the catalyst of Earth’s destruction and the powerful scientist P-.
Peridot: ME! I was the one he met!
Stanford: Originally, Peridot was the one who marked the Earth reaching its expiration date.
TRAE: After she nearly killed Steven a few times, she told them about a being capable of destroying Earth and conquering worlds. This being was the Cluster.
Peridot: We bubbled the Cluster and moved on.
TRAE: Steven has been through a lot. Jasper was hunting him down because she had no idea Pink Diamond was Rose Quartz and was furious with Rose for shattering her Diamond.
Peridot: Let’s discuss Steven’s abilities and stats.
Boomstick: Ok, Steven not only scales to the Cluster, who is likely Solar System level, but has consistently moved faster than light and has tons of impressive feats. Not using his full power since Steven could Statue the rest of the Crystal Gems, something not even Lapis Lazuli could do, and she was able to travel to an entirely different galaxy in a few months casually. He has punched Jasper through over 10 trees hard enough to break all of them casually. He could block Multi-Continental attacks while he was still only around 13 and way weaker than he currently is not to mention the fact it was only his bubble, not even his powerful shield or even including his own durability, which are also incredibly high, the shield is typically seen as even stronger.
TRAE: Speaking of his shield and bubble, Steven can create shields made of hard light and information, as well as his bubble and other complex constructs, he can also pop the bubbles to create a huge shockwave and stun those around him. When he is furious, he can interfere with electronics by staring at them, he can fly and control how fast he falls, he has empathy abilities to influence others emotions, telepathy/Astral projection, possession, lucid dreamer abilities, healing, he has the light prism which contains several powerful gems that he can control, photokinesis, the ability to create an army of living plants (some of his plants are capable of Soloing the Crystal Gems, like Cactus Steven), he has multiple minds due to Pink Steven, corrupted Steven, and the little remaining fragment of Rose Quartz. When pairing that with how much trauma he has experienced, it’s obvious that if you mess with his mind you will be broken, and he can teleport things if he bubbles them. While he doesn’t seem to be able to bubble himself and teleport that way, he can bubble body parts to make them stronger, like when he bubbles his fists to hit harder.
Peridot: And he already was capable of lifting a building sized Injector without his power. And he is a very skilled martial artist and wrestler.
Boomstick: UMM, I’M GOING TO HIDE FROM STEVEN NOW, AHHHHHHH!
TRAE: *FACE PALMS*
Wiz: Well at least we have finished the first analysis.
TRAE: Steven is the true hero of Cartoon Network and nothing you say will change that.
Steven: “♫ If you're evil, and you're on the rise
You can count on the four of us taking you down
'Cause we're good and evil never beats us
We'll win the fight and then go out for pizzas ♫”
Alola Ash[]
Peridot: You ever have an ambition? Specifically, a goal to be the best at something?
Stanford: Because Ash has that going for him, and has recently won the Alola league.
TRAE: Ash Ketchum, the son of Delia Ketchum, is a trainer from Pallet Town in the Kanto region. He started his journey at the age of ten and has traveled for 20 years, getting more experience than most trainers could ever dream of.
Boomstick: This battle will only talk about Sun and Moon lore for Ash, and will only use Alola Pokemon.
Wiz: Ash joined the Pokémon school shortly after arriving in Alola on Melemele Island, and learned from Professor Kukui, a powerful trainer and great professor. Ash got a Z-ring and Z-crystal gifted to him directly by Tapu Koko, the guardian of Melemele Island. He eventually met his rival Gladion in the series and gained his respect.
Boomstick: And Gladion had a Pokémon who at minimum was Solar System level.
Stanford: He traveled through Alola getting Z-rings and catching more Pokémon and found his strongest ever. Solgaleo, the beast that devours the sun, was directly entrusted to him by another Solgaleo, Lunala, Tapu Koko, Tapu Bulu, Tapu Lele and Tapu Fini.
Peridot: Eventually, the Aether Foundation requested him and his school become Ultra Guardians since there weren’t any in the Foundation, and they needed a defense against Ultra Beasts.
TRAE: Ash has been through a lot in Alola. He fought all the Island Kahunas, he beat the Totem Pokémon Gumshoos, he defeated the cruelest kahuna Nanu who used dirty tactics to demoralize his enemies and taunts them into making bad moves in a cold tone, he fought and defeated Tapu Koko in the Alola league, he beat Gladion and Guzma and he even beat the masked royal Professor Kukui who was able to defeat multiple Pokémon who were teaming up on him despite one having a type advantage. Guzma was able to stomp Lana, who is like a stronger Misty. Tapu Koko is at least Large Island level (at most solar system level) and Gladion had Silvally, who was Solar System level, Lycanroc and Zoroark. All of them are incredibly powerful, yet Ash beat them. He also tends to use incredible strategy that shocks even other champions.
Stanford: In physical stats, while not near Steven’s level, Ash is really OP. He can lift a huge log with one hand sprint forward a long way and casually throw it like a javelin, tackle steel bars hard enough to break them out of the ground, hold a 990 pound Pokémon in one hand without even noticing the weight, survive being knocked of a cliff from a golem falling on metal tracks and being exploded with dynamite, catch up with a car, pull a moving car back, run up walls in sandals, intercept attacks from Pokémon like Pikachu (who are massively hypersonic or even faster than light), tank hits from Pokémon that can destroy reinforced metal doors and tank hits that can uproot trees. Now even more OP, he has Aura abilities, which allow the user to read minds, see their environment even with a blind fold, see through things, sense the emotions of others, activate time flowers and create barrier as well as attacks. While Ash typically doesn’t use these abilities due to the fact they would disqualify him from becoming a Pokémon master and he didn’t train it much, he still has some of the strongest Aura ever, and is very skilled with it. If he needs it for a real threat, he will use it. He also has shown he knows how to fight since he was able to teach Pikachu to box. His team for this battle will be Solgaleo, Naganadel, Pikachu, Incineroar, Melmetal and Rowlet (I was gonna do Lycanroc, but then I realized a would get a lot of hate if I didn’t include Incineroar).
Peridot: Ash sure is a great trainer, even better than Sygna Suit Red.
Ash: “Spearows! Do you know who I am? I'm Ash, from the town of Pallet. I'm destined to be the world's number one Pokémon master! I can't be defeated by the likes of you. I'm going to capture and defeat you all!”
Intermission[]
Peridot: Alright, the combatants are set, and I’m bored, so let’s get on to the DEATH BATTLE!
DEATH BATTLE[]
Ash Wakes up in Beach City after Tapu Koko accidentally blasts him to another dimension again. He recognized the place from the show Steven Universe, but he wasn’t surprised their verses where connected. Steven saw him and came up. He knew who Ash was too and he felt the same way.
Ash: Wow, it’s you! Steven please battle me.
Steven: What are you doing here Ash? This is not the time. Also, besides wrestling, I try to avoid violence, I’ve been through too much.
Steven begins to walk away, but Ash keeps begging for a battle between 2 legends.
Steven: Fine, but leave me alone after this.
Steven’s eyes turn into Diamonds and he concentrates on every move Ash makes.
FIGHT!
Ash throws out Rowlet.
Ash: Rowlet use Brave Bird back to back!
Steven dodges the first one, but gets hit twice. Luckily he only allowed that so he could get a good grip on Rowlet.
Ash: Rowlet use Substitute!
Steven tries to destroy the Substitute, but it tanks his hit.
Ash: Rowlet use Swords Dance twice, then use Sucker Punch!
Steven got hit directly in the face, but to Ash’s surprise, it hurt Rowlet horribly and didn’t hurt Steven.
Steven: I’ve taken worse.
Steven punches Rowlet into the air then jumps and kicks Rowlet. The bird flies back for a sneak attack, but Steven sees it coming.
Ash: Rowlet use Seed Bomb!
Steven creates a huge shield so he can redirect the attack.
Ash: Rowlet use Shadow Sneak!
A shadow appears behind Steven in the shield and hits him hard, but it doesn’t do any lasting damage, it just stuns him and makes him drop the bubble.
Steven: That hurt a bit, but I think you should stop Ash while he is still in check.
Ash: Too late to stop. Rowlet use Energy Ball!
Steven uses his shield to redirect the attack.
Ash: Rowlet, Shadow Claw!
Steven creates a bubble, but the Shadow Claw phases through the bubble and hits him. Steven pops the bubble to stagger Rowlet then bashes him with a shield.
Ash: Rowlet, Leaf Blade!
Rowlet hits Steven 5 times before flying away. Rowlet spammed Seed Bomb and Steven laughed horribly.
Steven: Seeds are more of a threat to you than me.
He licks the seeds and puts them in the ground. They soon turn into living, moving trees. They all team up and knock Rowlet out.
Ash: Rowlet return. Go Melmetal! Use Flash cannon!
Steven redirects it with his bubble and punches Melmetal in the hex-nut.
Ash: Thunder Punch!
Melmetal hits Steven hard, causing him to stagger back annoyed. Melmetal uses Acid Armor and Thunder Wave. Steven disperses the Thunder Wave by staring at it and walks forward.
Steven: Ash I am not going to lose to you.
Ash: I don’t plan on losing either! Melmetal, Double Iron Bash!
Melmetal hits Steven both times, but Steven grabs him in a head lock and punches him in the stomach. Steven’s living tree creatures suddenly run up and uppercut Melmetal. Melmetal rips them limb from limb after being horribly battered for a while.
Ash: Mega Punch, then follow up with Dynamic Punch and Steel Roller!
Steven gets hit by all three, and while he is unharmed by the attacks, he’s still very annoyed. Steven goes into Pink Steven state and lunches a hexagonal shield into Melmetal. Melmetal uses Protect, but gets sent flying anyway.
Ash: Melmetal use Hyper Beam!
Steven: NO!
Steven uses his shield to redirect it and throws Melmetal into the air before bubbling his fists and punching him first in the gut then in the shoulder.
Ash: Iron Head and Darkest Lariat!
Steven takes the hit and starts to bleed.
Steven: Impressive.
Steven punches Melmetal into the sky and jumps into the air before kicking him down.
Ash: Melmetal take a rest for a bit, you’ll continue later. Pikachu I choose you!
Pikachu jumped down ready to attack.
Ash: Nuzzle!
Pikachu nuzzled Steven and Steven punched Pikachu in the face.
Ash: Pikachu, Quick Attack!
Despite Pikachu’s speed, Steven wasn’t even taking the battle seriously, and even worse Steven was still quicker.
Ash: Now Iron Tail!
Pikachu hit Steven in the head and then hit Steven in the leg.
Steven: This is all annoying, I can’t resist forever, let’s just stop.
Ash: You won’t be able to resist if you don’t work hard.
Steven: Fine. Btw it might be a good idea to use your Aura since this isn’t a Pokémon battle. It might keep you alive.
Ash: That sounds creepy but ok.
Ash used his Aura to try to see what Steven was thinking about doing, but Steven was unaffected by it.
Ash: Pikachu use Electro Web!
The attack landed and Steven flinched long enough for Pikachu to get a Draining Kiss off. Steven moved forward to his older form and flew into the air. He grabbed Ash and Pikachu before dropping them on a huge island.
Ash: Pikachu we can’t give up. Use Electric Terrain and Rain Dance, then use Thunder.
Pikachu does it all and hits Steven hard. However, Steven takes it like a man. He creates 20 hexagonal shields and bombards Pikachu with them. Pikachu uses Thunder Bolt and destroys most of the island, but Steven takes the hit. Steven creates a spiky hexagonal shield to hit Pikachu, but fails to do much.
Ash: Are you holding back against me??
Steven: I’m not answering that.
Pikachu used Play Rough on Steven and did decent damage before following up with a Wild Charge.
Steven: I’m not going to let a mouse beat me.
He punched Pikachu through 200 trees with his bubbled fists.
Ash: Pikachu use Reflect!
Steven: What are you doing? Are you mocking my shield with that weak thing?
Ash: Pikachu use Surf!
Steven gets hit directly and water gets in his wounds. Luckily Steven licked his hand and wiped his wounds with them to heal them. Steven punches Pikachu hard with his bubbled fists with intent to kill Pikachu after losing control of Pink Steven. However, Pikachu tanks the hit due to Reflect.
Ash: Pikachu use Thunder on yourself.
Pikachu did just that and was cloaked in his Thunder Armor.
Ash: Time for a Z-Move.
They do the pose.
Ash: Much bigger than a Thunder Bolt, 10 Million Volt Thunder Bolt. Yeah, this is much bigger at super full power. PIKACHU USE 10 MILLION VOLT THUNDER BOLT.
Steven quickly pulls up his shield and blocks the hit. The area is covered in dust, but Ash uses Aura to see, and sees Pikachu get uppercut by Steven. Pikachu lands in front of Ash with a broken neck and spine. Ash knew his partner was killed by his foe. Ash returned Pikachu and sent Melmetal back out.
Ash: Melmetal use Ice Punch!
Melmetal punches Steven in the stomach and freezes it. Steven breaks free from it and creates a bubble inside the hole in Melmetal he then expands it 3 times its size and speed blitzes Melmetal. Melmetal breaks and dies right in front of Ash.
Ash: NOOOOOOOO!!!! Naganadel, I choose you! Use Air Slash!
It hits Steven hard and does severe damage, it even causes him to bleed. Steven creates a row of hexagonal shields and slams Naganadel through the Earth's crust with it. Naganadel flies up, but is punched by Steven and hit 100 times before it can react. Naganadel uses Shadow Claw and hits Steven’s gem. Luckily, while it was powerful enough to crack the gem, Steven easily heals it. Naganadel uses Leech Life, followed by Sludge Bomb to get ahead, but it is all in vain because Steven then used his mental abilities to make Naganadel knock itself out. Steven rips out it’s liver and punches it in the face before stomping it. Ash sends out Incineroar. Steven tries using his mental abilities to knock Incineroar out, but it doesn’t work.
Ash: Incineroar use Bulk Up then Flare Blitz!
Incineroar bulked up then cloaked himself in fire and charged at Steven. Steven and Incineroar grappled after the hit. Steven quickly gained the upper hand, but was definitely taking damage. Ash used his Aura to see that Steven was slowly leading Incineroar to a cliff out of Incineroar’s field of view.
Ash: Quick Incineroar, use Reversal and follow it up with Thrash!
Steven was surprised by Ash realizing his plan and countering it, but after he took the hits he countered himself with an army of Cactus Steven’s and the Light Prism. Incineroar went down hard. Ash then brought out his last Pokémon, Solgaleo. Solgaleo was immediately bombarded by 10 Cactus Steven’s and an army of gems created by the Light Prism. Solgaleo eventually defeated the warriors, but was punched in the face by Steven 200 times and hit with a row of 800,000 hexagonal shields and the front one had spikes on it. Solgaleo staggered back and took a kick to the stomach.
Ash: Knock Steven into the water!
Solgaleo happily obliged.
Ash: NOW USE THUNDER!
Steven gets hit horribly, but the electricity did less damage than Steven or Ash were expecting.
Ash: Use Psychic Fangs, followed up with Sunsteel Strike!
Steven got hit with the Psychic Fangs and recoiled. When Steven saw Solgaleo using Sunsteel Strike he created 1,000 hexagonal shields and got in a bubble to try blocking it. It didn’t work. He may have protected himself from most of the damage, but he still had taken a great hit. Steven staggered up, blood dripping out of his broken rib cage and his forehead, leaking into his eyes right beside the diamonds, emphasizing that Ash had made a mistake in fighting Steven. Looking into those eyes, Ash knew he would likely die.
Ash: Solgaleo use Sunsteel Strike!
Steven quickly used his saliva to heal his rib cage and created a bubble. He popped the bubble as soon as Solgaleo had gotten close and it did incredible damage.
Ash: Use Sunsteel Strike again!
Steven stuck his hand out and caught Solgaleo by the head. Ash’s Z-Ring started glowing. Steven looked and realized Ash was using another Z-Move. He tried to resist, but Ash got the Z-Move off before he could escape.
Ash: THIS IS OUR FULL POWER. SEARING SUNRAZE SMASH!
Steven gets launched through an Ultra-Wormhole and hit by a Sunsteel Strike that causes a huge explosion. Steven and Solgaleo end up back on Earth with Ash facing each other both bleeding.
Ash: Solgaleo use Iron Head!
It hit and Steven collapsed on the ground bleeding with a crack.
Ash: Phew, at least I have avenged my Pokémon. Let’s see if Arceus will revive them for me after all the time I’ve spent helping him.
Suddenly, Solgaleo looked to be in extreme pain, and looked at Ash.
Ash: Wait, what’s going on?
Solgaleo had diamonds for his eyes, and used Flare Blitz till they died from the recoil. Steven got up.
Steven: I can posses beings in my sleep, LITERALLY! And you were right, I have been holding back.
Steven went Corrupted Steven and stomped towards Ash. Ash tried to defend himself by firing constant Aura Spheres at Steven. However, each one was only making Steven stronger. He tried communicating with Steven mentally, but what he saw left him broken. Ash stood there unable to move after what he had seen. Corrupted Steven stomped on him and used his Power Roar.
K.O.!
Steven got back to normal and realized what he had done. Steven used his tears to revive Ash and all of his Pokémon.
Ash: I’m sorry. That was all my fault.
Steven: It’s fine, farewell, let’s just move on, go home maybe. We’ll meet again.
Steven goes home and Ash gets transported back to Sun and Moon's universe.
Post analysis[]
Wiz: Ouch, well anyone have an ice pack for Ash>
Boomstick: I’m not surprised here.
Wiz: I actually am heavily.
TRAE: Then time to explain. They both had advantages, but Steven was superior for a few key reasons. He had the clear numbers advantage due to being able to create more than 6 minions and having a prism with more than 6 gems in it.
Peridot: He also was the far superior fighter, and the one with the best physical stats. To give an example, Steven’s best feat is lifting a building sized Injector without his power. While Ash’s best was lifting 990 pounds casually. In speed, Ash was at most faster than light, while Steven was at minimum thousands of times that, and at max, far more than 110 trillion times the speed of light.
Boomstick: Ash had really powerful Pokémon, but Steven had far more versatility, and better abstract abilities.
Stanford: Steven could create a shield or bubble inside any of the Pokémon, and he would, both proven by him doing it to Topaz. who was huge. If he would try it on a being that big, then he would definitely try it against them.
TRAE: Ash could not handle seeing what is in Steven’s mind, Pink Steven could easily kill him if he tried messing with Steven’s mind, and Steven had far better defense and offense.
Peridot: When being fair to Ash, he did have the element of surprise with Shadow Claw, Shadow Sneak, Sucker Punch, and 10 Million Volt Thunder Bolt. Him and Solgaleo are also a great team, but in the end, Ash could not win.
Boomstick: Looks like Ash, and even more so Melmetal, were SCREWED.
TRAE: The Winner is STEVEN.