Squidward Tentacles vs Chef Pee Pee is a What-If? Episode of Death Battle created by Soupywolf5. It pits Squidward Tentacles from the cartoon Spongebob Squarepants against Chef Pee Pee from the YouTube web-series SuperMarioLogan.
| Squidward Tentacles vs Chef Pee Pee | |
|---|---|
| Season | 3 |
| Air date | Who Really Cares? |
| Written by | Soupywolf5 |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous MTMB Mario vs FNAW Mario |
Next TBA |
Description[]
It's easy to grow bitter when our hard work isn't appreciated. And despite seemingly doing everything, these two advocates of Murphy's law almost never get the recognition they deserve.
Squidward Tentacles, self-proclaimed master artist and cashier of the Krust Krab.
And Chef Pee Pee, aspiring chef/maybe model and slave personal chef to the Bowser/Mario household
I'm Soupywolf5, and it's my job to answer the questions you've never asked! Which of these two combatants would win, a Death Battle!
Note: For this battle I'm going to be treating Squidward and Chef Pee Pee as roughly the same size. This isn't too far from how large they have been portrayed before, as Chef Pee Pee, despite usually being treated as the size of a regular person and being stated on his dating profile to be 5' 11", is occasionally treated as being as small as an actual puppet, where he's roughly twice as tall as Cody, and Cody's ID says he's 6 inches tall. This would make Cody just a little taller than Spongebob, who's about as short compared to Squidward as Cody is compared to Chef Pee Pee
Squidward Tentacles[]
Bikini Bottom, home of the legendary Krabby Patty, a totally not drug laced (Seriously the claimed secret ingredient was "King Neptune's Poseidon Powder" which is slang for cocaine) sandwich that probably fuels 90% of the place's economy. Such a fabled burger is prepared by an equally legendary fry cook.
And then there's the middle man, the unappreciated cashier who wants nothing to do with the Krusty Krab or the Krabby Patty, a cephalopod with aspirations far beyond his minimum wage hell, Squidward Tortellini- Tentacles. Squidward Tentacles.
Background[]
- Species: Giant Pacific Octopus... yep
- Date of Birth: October 9th
- Has conquered all artistic media
- Allergic to seaberries
Despite his lack of recognition in comparison to his spongey coworker, Squidward has actually worked at the Krusty Krab longer than Spongebob alongside former frycook Jim.
He was still lazy on the job, but at least he could stand working there. Until Jim quit and all of Squid's hair fell out. Because that's just how the universe works when Squidward is involved.
While he hated Spongebob as a neighbor, Squidward was still very supportive of the fry cook's application-
"...No"
...or not. Well considering Spongebob joining the Krusty Krew led to Squidward's life going so far downhill it crashed into rock bottom's basement. Squidward's disdain for the guy is understandable. Squidward never even wanted to work at the Krusty Krab, instead dreaming of becoming a great musician and artist. But everyone hates his art and it seems like the universe itself won't allow him to work anywhere else, considering every time he or Spongebob tries to quit or gets fired, everything in Bikini Bottom immediately begins devolving into chaos until they're thrown back into their fast food prison. (At least in Squidward's case)
Being a cartoon, Squidward has all of the standard cartoon powers; Breaking the fourth wall, squishing and morphing his body like it's made of rubber, and regenerating from all manner of wounds, ranging from y'know, small stuff like losing entire limbs, to shattering like glass, being melted into a puddle and even being burned to ash! Meaning nothing short of complete vaporization or potentially even complete atomization would be enough to put Squid down!
Being an... octopus, because yeah, Squidward can also produce ink, though this is only ever used for a quick gag and isn't something he can acually weaponize. Something he can weaponize are his tentacles through karate, learned through household chores around Sandy's treedome... somehow? Regardless that method was pretty effective seeing as it allowed Squidward to easily beat up a guy twice his size, though the dude was only trying to give Squidward his groceries back.
Abilities[]
- Toon Force/4th Wall Awareness
- Regeneration/Immortality
- Can regenerate from being reduced to ash
- Ink
- Karate
Likewise, his clarinet is also a formidable weapon, with the effects of its music ranging from putting people to sleep to ear piercing pain in all who hear it, or it can say screw subtltey and fire explosive projectiles. Maybe there's a good reason he can't find any success in his musical career if his notes are actual bombs.
He's also ridiculously strong for a doughy, rubber limbed cashier, able to tug along an entire ship tied to his back and kick a dumpster through the air. He's tough enough to survive explosions able to destroy all of Bikini Bottom and Spongebob using a reef blower to suck up most of the Earth's oceans in just 8 seconds! Using the mass of the Pacific Ocean (Using the average density of seawater, ~1024.5 kg/m^3, and the volume of the Pacific Ocean 710,000,000 km^3 or 7.1*10^17 m^3, for a mass of 7.27395*10^20 kilograms), comparing it to Bikini Bottom's depth and taking into account Spongebob's surface area, Spongebob, and by extension Squidward since he's comparable, would have had to withstand kinetic energy equivalent to almost 100 Megatons of TNT! (Credit to Flashight237 for this, they did a pretty good job here, I slightly modified it to use only the mass of the Pacific Ocean instead of all of Earth's oceans, which cut the final results in half)
Feats[]
- Worked 24 hours a day for 43 days straight
- Survived explosions that destroyed Bikini Bottom
- Comparable to Spongebob
- Survived a rocket crashing on Mars
- Kicked a dumpster into the air
Flaws/Weaknesses[]
- Sour Note form requires outside help and/or equipment Squidward hasn't used himself
Chef Pee Pee[]
Background[]
- Real Name: Fernando Strongbottom
- Species: Human Puppet
- Date of Birth: July 27th, 1989
- Good with his hands
- Enjoys singing, dancing
Abilities[]
- Toon Force/4th Wall Awareness
- Regeneration/Immortality
- Can regenerate from injuries up to being blown to pieces
- Limited Flight
- Self-Sustenance
- Enchilada Beam
Feats[]
- Survived being blasted into outer space
- Could react to a caffiene amped Junior's movements
- Broke Bowser Junior's leg
- Matched Jeffy's Kamehameha
- Opened a 5 star restaurant in another timeline
Flaws/Weaknesses[]
- Regeneration is inconsistent
- Credit score is a 4
Intermission[]
All right! The combatants are set! Let's get this match underway!
It's time,
for a DEATH BATTLE!
Fight![]
Results[]
The winner is...
Advantages and Disadvantages[]
Despite not spoiling who wins, the spoiler tab still lists the characters' advantages and disadvantages that I think don't immediately spoil the winner
Squidward
- + Superior and more consistent regeneration
- + Greater toon force
- + Far higher stamina
- + Rock hard abs
- = Has shown the ability to survive on land, albeit inconsistently
- - Far outclassed in all physical stats
- - Likely less skilled in hand to hand combat
- - Arsenal less suited to combat
- - Squidward Tennisballs
- - Worse comebacks than a turkey sandwich
Chef Pee Pee
- + Takes the stat trinity by an enormous margin
- + Likely more skilled in hand to hand combat
- + Deadlier arsenal more suited to combat
- + His theme slaps
- + Is "too sexy"
- = Puppets have shown the ability to survive underwater, albeit inconsistently
- - Far lower stamina
- - Inferior toon force
- - Inferior and less consistent regeneration
- - His name
- - His life's a joke
OST Name[]
A Taste of Talent
Connections[]
Tall, narcissistic characters who act as foils to their shows' smaller, more cheerful main characters. (Junior and Spongebob) Both have large dreams of grandiour that are crushed by their current food related profession, leading to them being bitter and angry, these dreams are mocked by the people around them due to their... questionable talent. However, both actually have godly potential in their field of passion, with this potential being quashed by their current jobs. (Squidward being indirectly called the greatest artist alive in Artist Unknown and "conquering all artistic media" in Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost, and Chef Pee Pee, in an alternate timeline where Junior wasn't born and he never worked for Bowser, becoming a world famous chef running a five star restaurant, with a single dish of his cooking being worth millions)