Description[]
Namco vs Nickelodeon. These two famous characters who are yellow, happy-go-lucky, and known for their distinctive shapes. One is one of the best cooks in the ocean, the other is a notorious glutton who's appetite is nearly bottomless but which one of them will win a Death Battle?
Interlude[]
(Cue Invader Jim Johnston)
Wiz: Mascots, every company has his mascot to represent the company!
Boomstick: There are mascots of video games and TV shows and these two mascots are yellow and happy-go-lucky like Pac-Man, the original ghostbuster of video games!
Wiz: And Spongebob Squarepants, the goofy yellow sponge of cartoons!
Boomstick: He's Wiz and i'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills, to find out who would win a Death Battle!
Spongebob[]
(Cue Spongebob Squarepants Theme Instrumental)
Wiz: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Boomstick: Spongebob Squarepants!
Wiz: Spongebob is the yellow goofy sponge and mascot of Nickelodeon!
Boomstick: And is really annoying!
Wiz: Spongebob saved the Bikini Bottom many times from Plankton's evil plans in his TV show, Spongebob has survived being torn in half, incinerated, and completely engulfed in explosions equal to that of nuclear weapons, he also has regeneration to heal himself from any injury!
Boomstick: Spongebob has a bubble wand which allows him to create bubbles by blewing to trap some peoples, he can also create objects such as torpedoes, bowling bowls, etc.!
Wiz: Next weapon is the spatula, he uses this weapon to flip Krabby Patties and he can use this weapon as a sword, he has red karate gloves to make slaps and he was trained by Sandy Cheeks, Spongebob can absorb punches because he is a sponge with no organs and skeleton!
Boomstick: He also has a jellyfish net to catch jellyfishes or to trap any people and counter any projectiles, he has a magic pencil which allows him to create anything he draws to life, the magic pencil has an eraser to erase his creations!
Wiz: Spongebob has light manipulation, his power allows him to summon rainbows, Spongebob can breath out of underwater as seen in the movie a sponge out of water, Spongebob has a form called Goofy Goober Rock, in this form he can fly and shoots lasers from his guitar!
Boomstick: The magic book allows him to write anything to become a reality and has plot manipulation, he can enter in his invincibubble mode, in this form he can shoots bubbles from his head to trap some objects!
Wiz: Spongebob weaknesses are: he isn't too smart, he is very nave, he is not too strong, the magic book will be useless if is catch on fire, if it's implied that if he's taken by surprise, his absorption won't work and he os too forgiving!
Spongebob: I'm ready!
Pac-Man[]
(Cue Pac-Man's Park/Block Plaza)
Wiz: Pac-Man is the ghost eater most popular of the video games, he was born in 1980 with a arcade game with a circle without piece who needs to eat all the pellets and don't get killed by 4 ghosts!
Boomstick: Then, some years have passed and we see him like we see him in Super Smash Bros. 4!
Wiz: And now lets move for his abilities, Pac-Man can summon bonus fruits and throw them like melons, oranges, apples and other fruits!
Boomstick: Pac-Man has a bounce ability, this ability makes him ground pound the ground and land butt-first, the rev-roll lets him charges a spin attack like Sonic spin dash!
Wiz: Pac-Man has a power pellet which lets him eats ghosts for a few seconds, he also has a super pellet allowing him to became Super Pac-Man, in this form Pac-Man gains the power of flight and becomes invincible and becomes physically more stronger, but this form only lasts a few seconds!
Boomstick: Pac-Man can shoots pac-pellets, the pellets which he used them as projectiles that can create explosions if he charges, Pac-Man has a chrome pellet which turns him into metallic and invincible like Mario's metal cap, the red ribbon pellet increases Pac-Man speed and he can create trails of light, if he circles the trail of light he can make a ring of light that can create a explosion, but this lasts 15 seconds!
Wiz: Pac-Man has a super stomp pellet which allows him to makes a super stomp which can creates a shock wave that knocks peoples back, the electro-shock pellet allows Pac-Man to shoots eletricity from his hands, Pac-Man has a ice berry which can turn him into Ice Pac-Man, in this form he can shoots a ice beam from his mouth to freeze some peoples!
Boomstick: The fire berry turns him into Fire Pac-Man, in this form Pac-Man can shoots fireballs in his mouth and he can create fire under his feet to allowing him to glide, the spin berry turns him into Spin Pac-Man which he can spin to fly and he can create a powerful vortex!
Wiz: The Pac-Zilla berry turns him into Pac-Zilla, in this form Pac-Man can be giant and he can be physically more stronger and he can eat some projectiles and spit them back, the planet berry turns him into Planet Pac-Man which turns Pac into an earth-like planet and he can fly or move through space and he can eat some meteors and smaller planets!
Boomstick: In Pac-Man World Rally, a game who rip-offed Mario Kart again, he can uses some power-ups like strawberry striker, a strawberry shaped homing missile that explodes if this hit anything and other power-ups that he can use!
Pac-Man: Pac-Man's the name, chompin's my game!
Fight[]
(Cue Invader Jim Johnston)
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, let's end the debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
(Cue Spongebob Squarepants Krusty Krab Theme)
Pac-Man is walking in the Bikini Bottom and he sees the Krusty Krab.
Pac-Man: Is this a restaurant? I am hungry!
Pac-Man enters in the Krusty Krab and he sees a lot of clients eating Krabby Patties.
Pac-Man: The clients are fishies!
Pac-Man walks to talk with Squidward.
Squidward: What you want to eat?
Pac-Man: What kind of food you has?
Squidward: We have Krab Patties, fries and sodas!
Pac-Man: I want that foods!
Squidward: Spongebob, the yellow circle wants a Krab Patty, fries and a soda!
Spongebob: Ok, i ready to make this!
1 minute later...
Squidward: Your food is served!
Pac-Man grabs the table and eats all the food in one bite.
Pac-Man: That was taste!
Squidward: Do you has money?
Pac-Man: Oops, nope!
Squidward: Spongebob, kill this guy because he eats the food without buying!
Spongebob: You gonna pay for that yellow circle!
Spongebob kicks Pac-Man out of the Krusty Krab.
Pac-Man: Ouch, i will fight you!
Spongebob: Bring it on!
Both yellow mascots enters in combat positions.
FIGHT!
(Cue The Spongebob Squarepants Movie Final Boss Theme)
Spongebob picks his spatula hits Pac-Man's face 5 times and then, Spongebob slaps Pac-Man with his karate gloves, Pac-Man punches and kicks Pac-Man to the air and then, Pac-Man charges his rev-roll while Spongebob falls and then, Pac-Man rev-rolled hitting Spongebob back, Pac-Man throws a pac-pellet hitting Spongebob back.
Spongebob picks his bubble wand and he blew the bubble wand creating a bubble, the bubble trapped Pac-Man and Spongebob creates a bomb with his magic pencil and then, he throws at Pac-Man freeing him from the bubble, Pac-Man eats a electro-shock pellet and he eletrocutates Spongebob with the eletricity in his hands.
Spongebob: Hahahaha, it tickles!
Spongebob shoots a rainbow from his hands painting Pac-Man's body.
Pac-Man: What you did to my body?
Spongebob: I can shoots rainbows with my imagination!
Spongebob slaps Pac-Man again and he hits Pac-Man's head with his spatula, Spongebob tries to kick him but Pac-Man uppercutted and he lost his eletric powers, Pac-Man eats the fire berry becoming Fire Pac-Man, Fire Pac-Man shoots fireballs but Spongebob absorbed them and shoots them back but Fire Pac-Man resists.
Spongebob draws a cannon and he shoots a cannon ball making Pac-Man lost his form, Pac-Man eats the ice berry becoming Ice Pac-Man, Ice Pac-Man shoots a ice beam freezing Spongebob and then, Ice Pac-Man throws another pac-pellet freeing Spongebob from the explosion.
Spongebob: Did you know who i am?
Pac-Man: A yellow sponge?
Spongebob: No, i am Goofy Goober Rock!
Spongebob turns into Goofy Goober Rock form, Spongebob shoots a laser from his guitar making Pac-Man lost his form, Pac-Man eats the super pellet turning into Super Pac-Man, Super Pac-Man punches Spongebob multiple times to the ground until Spongebob lost his Goofy Goober Rock form.
Spongebob draws a forcefield and then, he picks the magic book and then, he writes his phrase while Super Pac-Man is trying to break the forcefield.
"Spongebob wants to enter in his super sponge form!"
Spongebob turns into his invincibubble form.
Spongebob: Let's see if you can beat me!
Spongebob erases the forcefield while Pac-Man lost his super form, Pac-Man eats a grow berry growing to his giant size, Spongebob shoots bubbles but Pac-Man eats the bubbles and spits them back trapping Spongebob.
Spongebob: No, i need to get free!
Pac-Man pops the bubble and he stomps on Spongebob 10 times but Spongebob resists easily, Spongebob flies with the hydro-dynamic spatula and lands on Pac-Man's head, Spongebob punches Pac-Man's head multiples times until Pac-Man turns back to normal.
Spongebob: This is the only forms you got?
Pac-Man: No, i will show you my ultimate form!
Pac-Man eats the planet berry becoming Planet Pac-Man.
(Cue Spongebob Squarepants Grass Skirt Chase)
Spongebob: Oh my god, what i can do?
Planet Pac-Man eats the Bikini Bottom killing everybody and Spongebob too and then, Planet Pac-Man burp.
Planet Pac-Man: That was taste!
K.O.!
Pac-Man turns back to normal eating a shrink berry and then, he escapes the Bikini Bottom flying back to his home with his hover board.
Results[]
(Cue Pac-Man Park/Block Plaza)
Boomstick: Well, the Bikini Bottom was gone!
Wiz: Spongebob is more durable than Pac-Man but Pac-Man is more stronger, more experienced and has better weapons than Spongebob, Spongebob can tank Pac-Man forms and powers but when it comes to Planet Pac-Man...
Boomstick: Spongebob was screwed because Planet Pac-Man is a planet!
Wiz: Sure, he is a planet and he can eats planets and meteors easily so, he can kill Spongebob in this form!
Boosmtick: Looks like Spongebob was Pac-Tastic to eat!
Wiz: The winner is Pac-Man!
SpongeBob vs Pac-Man is the eleventh What-If? Death Battle episode of GoCommitDi's second season, featuring SpongeBob SquarePants and Pac-Man from their titular franchises in a battle between two yellow mascots that are easily recognizable across the world from their shapes, take pride in food and adventure, and have wacky methods of fighting.
Description[]
SpongeBob SquarePants vs Pac-Man! These optimistic yellow mascots can easily be recognized around the globe with their shapes, and there's nothing they love more than food and adventure, which is what they will get plenty of in a fight to the death.
Intro[]
SpongeBob SquarePants Makes DEATH BATTLE! the Best Day Ever[]
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_45r48npS6U)
Patchy: Ok, unless you live in North Korea, there is no need to introduce you to me idol, SpongeBob SquarePants. I'm sure even your grandparents have heard of 'em!
Potty: Yeah, I mean c'mon, he's unavoidable. Not only has his show spanned 13 seasons and 3 movies for over 20 years, but he's a merchandise giant, he's a meme icon, he has a comic book franchise, and he's even had a Broadway musical. He's the Mickey Mouse of this generation, to put it simply.
Patchy: But since no Death Battle bio could be complete without an introduction anyway...SpongeBob is an eternally optimistic sea sponge who has always dreamed of working as a fry cook. He flipped his first patty when he was still a baby, and that's how it all started. So it's amazing to know he's always had his dream set in stone!
Potty: So on the history-changing day of May 1, 1999, the pilot episode premiered, where SpongeBob applied for a job at the local fast food establishment, the Krusty Krab, home to the renowned, irresistible Krabby Patties. On second thought, an underwater burger doesn't sound so good after all. (brawk) But anyway, his dimwitted best friend, Patrick Star, managed to motivate SpongeBob into working for the Krusty Krab. So much for an animal without a brain, eh?
Patchy: The greedy Eugene Krabs initially doubted SpongeBob for his naivety, so he tasked him to buy a spatula that couldn't hope of being real. But guess what happened? He found it, and he ended up saving his short-tempered neighbor, Squidward Tentacles, as well as Mr. Krabs of course, from swarms of hungry anchovies!
Potty: Mr. Krabs decided SpongeBob was a trustworthy fry cook after all, so he hired him on the spot, much to Squidward's disappointment.
Patchy: Things aren't always easy for SpongeBob, however. He often finds himself having to save the day from Sheldon J. Plankton, who is Mr. Krabs' rival. While Plankton's restaurant, the Chum Bucket, never receives any visitors, he has one simple, evil plan he'll never let go of -- steal the Krabby Patty's secret formula to run Mr. Krabs out of business.
Potty: Well, it's a good thing SpongeBob has what it takes to protect himself in a fight, because underestimating him may just lead to your own death...
Patchy: SpongeBob has achieved many impressive feats over the years. We'd be here all day listing each of them, so we'll just go over the most important ones.
Feats
- In several different ways, has stopped Plankton from stealing the Krabby Patty formula
- Despite being put under mind control by Plankton to seize a Krabby Patty, SpongeBob's willpower refused to give it up
- He and Patrick convinced their favorite superheroes, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, to get out of retirement
- Successfully caught Bubble Bass lying about him forgetting to put pickles in a Krabby Patty by pointing out the pickles were under his tongue the entire time
- Tricked everyone into thinking he was the dreaded Flying Dutchman (it would've worked perfectly if a jellyfish didn't sting Patrick's ass)
- Speaking of which, dug up valuable treasure belonging to the real Flying Dutchman
- Managed to get Sandy to stay in Bikini Bottom
- Sparred against Sandy in karate on too many instances to count
- Defeated the ruler of the ocean, King Neptune, in a cook-off
- Survived a harsh winter in Sandy's treedome with Patrick
- Competed against Patrick in the prestigious Fry Cook Games
- Has defeated his evil clone DoodleBob not once, but twice
- He and Patrick went to Shell City (a place no other sea animal returned from) to retrieve Neptune's crown
- Found the lost city of Atlantis
- Journeyed to the surface to reclaim the Krabby Patty formula from Burger Beard, and defeated him as a superhero
- Went inside Karen to get rid of a virus that was infecting her
- Has met Santa Claus, and once helped him repair the moon
- Defeated robot versions of his friends and himself
- His series is the longest-running Nicktoon, the fifth-longest running American animated series, has generated $13 billion from merchandise alone, and has only been rivaled by The Fairly OddParents (which has long since been cancelled, and for good reason)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fM_r4rNsJ6A)
Potty: But that's only the beginning. (squawk) This yellow demon is strong enough to unravel the galaxy with a string. He also once casually shoved multiple galaxies into the Krusty Krab's kitchen!
Pop-Up: While it is true SpongeBob had to use a string to unravel the galaxy, he had no problems lifting and tugging said string, meaning he physically supported the weight of the galaxy.
Patchy: He can destroy his own brain, which is a pocket dimension that contains a sun, and he's created a realm with multiple stars, which would require him to pull off 1.688e63 joules!
Pop-Up: Although it can be argued the events of Squidward in Clarinetland were a hallucination, SpongeBob was clearly shown to have been constructing the locker for a few hours. But even if it was a hallucination, imaginations in the SpongeBob-verse have shown to be tangible, meaning the "hallucination" must have been real to begin with.
Potty: He once rotated Earth at a 360-degree angle and could casually move an anchor ten times bigger than himself with sheer pull force!
Patchy: He's able to contend with Squidward, who was moving an ENTIRE pirate ship in the same scene! In another episode, Squidward had no difficulties lifting up his house either!
French Narrator: The average pirate ship can weigh anywhere between a whopping 200,000 to 560,000 pounds. Easter Island Heads, which Squidward's house is modeled after, often weigh in at 14 tons.
Potty: But that's not all. When SpongeBob was in desperate need for a night light, he and Patrick moved a lighthouse around with no effort put in!
Patchy: Not only can he easily destroy metal walls, wooden tikis, giant robots, steel doors, wooden floors, and lift a boatmobile over his head, but he is capable of regularly fighting against Sandy Cheeks in karate!
French Narrator: Sandy herself is strong enough to eat an asteroid, physically pull a rocket ship, tank a fall from the moon, pull a boat down to the ocean floor, casually shatter a boulder with a single chop, lift up buildings over her head, create shockwaves, and wrestle against bulls.
Potty: He should easily scale past Santa Claus, who busted a good chunk of the moon, especially since SpongeBob himself could physically rotate it and could absorb enough water to become the moon, which brought Earth's tides back to normal.
Patchy: SpongeBob could create a massive explosion that eclipsed over Earth, resulting in 22.820321862 Ninatons. With help from Squidina and Pearl, they made a burp that expanded over the moon, which is 276 Exatons of TNT. And on a practically everyday basis, he can easily harm the other characters, all of whom survived getting crushed by the Alaskan Bullworm, who eclipsed over Bikini Bottom!
Potty: The structures of Bikini Bottom can withstand the force of a nuclear explosion, which we're about to get to.
Patchy: Also, some of the Bikini Bottomites are Frank, who turned off the sun and then back on, as well as Pearl, who is strong enough to shatter Sandy's treedome, which can withstand the force of the entire ocean being sucked into it.
Potty: Thanks to that, it should be a replica of when SpongeBob's Reef Blower did the same feat, which yielded in 21 Yottatons.
Patchy: Which reminds me, perhaps his most important strength feat is how he regularly harms characters capable of damaging him. Hell, he's even capable of hurting himself, like the time he cracked his fingers so hard he burst into tears! This means SpongeBob's strength mirrors his durability.
Potty: And that brings us to his durability. (squawk) On way too many instances to count, SpongeBob has shown he's tough enough to withstand nuclear explosions that have been calculated at 825 Megatons - enough firepower to destroy a mountain!
Patchy: And despite being an undersea creature, he's shown he can tank the heat of the sun. The sun usually contains a scorching hot temperature of 5,778 Kelvin, or 9,940 Fahrenheit!
Potty: On top of that, SpongeBob has taken beatings from Sandy, who is consistently shown as stronger than him, and he should also be far superior to the likes of Pearl, who tanked the impact of a rock that was tossed hard enough for it to circle around the moon within seconds! He could also survive the explosion of his Reef Blower, which contained the entire ocean at the time that feat occurred.
Patchy: Plus, he can withstand the horrible sounds of Squidward's clarinet, which can easily shatter ears, destroy icebergs, and collapse skyscrapers.
Potty: SpongeBob's body can take the force of him absorbing Goo Lagoon, which has resulted in 2.56 teratons of TNT, which is the equivalent to tanking an attack that can obliterate a small country.
Patchy: But if that wasn't enough, his body can also handle Patrick freezing all of Earth into one giant ice cube, which is a Small Planet level feat.
French Narrator: Patrick's brain freeze was severe enough to leave the planet frozen for over five billion years.
Potty: SpongeBob packs some pretty heavy speed too. To start things off, he could travel from Bikini Bottom to the outskirts of the Milky Way galaxy in five seconds, which brought in speeds of 8.1 trillion times the speed of light!
Patchy: He can keep up with and even outrun Patrick, who ran from the ocean floor to the sun in 11 seconds.
Potty: This means Patrick can move at 47,808,000,000 miles per hour, or 71.2894 times the speed of light!
Patchy: To further show how consistent these are, SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs and Sandy were able to outmaneuver the Atlanteans, who are immortal aliens that were stated to run "billions of light years" to carry a million-year-old bubble.
A clip from Atlantis SquarePantis plays, showcasing Lord Royal Highness saying, "This bubble is over one million years old. It was brought here when the first Atlanteans colonized this place, deftly hand-carried over billions of light years from our home planet."
Potty: This will undoubtedly sound just as weird, but SpongeBob is easily capable of keeping pace with Squidward, who could run across an empty universe within mere seconds.
Patchy: Oh, that's not even the weirdest feat here, so listen closely. One time, SpongeBob turned his head around so fast that he caught his reflection off-guard. While this may not sound noteworthy at first glance, it should be noted mirrors reflect light, which means SpongeBob looked into a mirror before the light photons being reflected could reach his eyes.
Potty: SpongeBob can keep up with Sandy, who can dodge The Flying Dutchman's optic beams, jump from the moon to Saturn in two seconds, and react to projectiles while flying her jet pack, which took her from Bikini Bottom to the moon in nine seconds.
Patchy: For the Saturn feat, the distance between Saturn and Earth is 926.71 million miles, meaning Sandy had to surf at 2487.31684123 times the speed of light. As for piloting a jet pack that can go from Bikini Bottom to the moon in nine seconds, the distance between Earth and the moon is 384,400km. 384,000 divided by 9 would equal 42711.111km/s, which is 14% the speed of light.
Potty: On too many occasions to properly count, SpongeBob has dodged lasers. This includes Plankton's infrared lasers, which would additionally mean SpongeBob can see infrared light.
Patchy: Intelligence-wise, SpongeBob is a lot smarter than most people credit him as. Yeah, we won't deny he tends to be naive and too trusting a lot, but he's no stranger to standing up for himself once he realizes what someone's true intentions are, like when Plankton tried to befriend him just so he could get a Krabby Patty, or when SpongeBob found out Mr. Krabs was using him to poach jellyfish for profit.
Potty: SpongeBob is a highly talented fry cook with a near-perfect record who is also a remarkable builder, as he once made a fully-functional rocket out of boat parts and created a perfect replica of Squidward's house within twenty-four hours.
Patchy: He is capable of forming on-the-spot plans, such as when he was cornered by DoodleBob, only to use DoodleBob's weakness to paper to his advantage. If that's not enough, he is a WAY better aircraft pilot than he is a boat driver, he has perfect memorization of all Krusty Krab policies, he built a giant clarinet out of kelp with Patrick, and he's probably a better artist than Squidward.
Potty: He can expertly play the guitar, drums, trumpet, orcarina, flute, and DJ set, and he definitely has a way with words, as he convinced an angry mob to stop fighting so that they could perform at the Bubble Bowl for Squidward's sake.
Patchy: Onto abilities, SpongeBob is a well-known user of Toon Force, which refers to defying the laws of physics in comedic manners. Thanks to this, it gives him a lot of helpful powers, such as his most iconic one - regeneration, which lets him come back from the most grievous of injuries in incredibly short, or instant, timeframes.
Potty: SpongeBob's regeneration is quite extreme, to say the least. He has been burnt to dust, turned into a cloud of mist, melted to a puddle, split in half, dismembered, decapitated, had his whole body explode into pieces, shattered like glass, and reduced to his skeleton, only to immediately appear fine and well afterwards.
Patchy: However, all of those pale in comparison to how he reformed himself from being popped into nothingness AND laughing off being reduced to his outline. And thanks to these, he should easily be on par with Patrick, who also came back from having his entire body popped.
Pop-Up: SpongeBob's strings were potent enough to have erased the entire galaxy. On another note, while the episode did end after Patrick reduced him down to nothingness, it is repeatedly shown throughout the series that SpongeBob's regeneration is nigh-instant.
Potty: Oh, and here's a fun fact - SpongeBob's regenerative capabilities aren't just a big "Screw you" to logic. In the real world, marine sponges can heal from any damaged body part. Which brings us to SpongeBob's malleable body.
Patchy: Just like how the theme song says, SpongeBob is definitely absorbent and porous. Normally, he is capable of using his spongy body to house substances into himself...
Potty: ...but his natural physical attributes can shield him from blunt force attacks as well.
Patchy: If he absorbs a substance, he will be able to use it as weapons, such as water and snowballs, and he can do this by expunging them from either his mouth, or his pores. Adding on, SpongeBob's full control over his body also allows him to create duplicates of himself, stretch his limbs, blend in with his surroundings by turning his body camouflage, produce extra arms, use his eyes as weapons, retain control over himself after having his body divided, manipulate his size, and fit himself into concealed areas.
Potty: And thanks to his rubbery traits, SpongeBob possesses remarkable shapeshifting. With his shapeshifting powers, he can take on the forms of different characters, replicate their voices, morph into objects, and expand his muscle mass.
Patchy: But SpongeBob's sponginess isn't the only ability he has; SpongeBob is capable of flying with total ease. While it's widely known he can do this by inflating his pants, he actually has many other ways of flying.
Potty: It's a fatal mistake to think SpongeBob lacks formal training, because he's quite the karate master. He can outmatch Sandy, who was trained by Fuzzy Acorn, with Acorn being so skilled that he's the only one to own the best belt in karate...the BLACKER belt.
Patchy: The talk of karate brings me to SpongeBob's stamina, which is damn impressive. As shown in To Save a Squirrel, it was shown SpongeBob could survive being stranded in the wilderness for an entire YEAR without food, water and shelter. Then, in Fear of a Krabby Patty, he worked a 43-day shift without breaks.
Potty: But wait, there's more! He stood still for three days straight in Clams, he did it again for FOUR days in Banned in Bikini Bottom, and he partook in a six-month long journey in Scavenger Pants without rest.
Patchy: SpongeBob can manipulate his own environment at his own will, whether it be rotating Earth's gravity, driving boulders (how the hell does he struggle to drive a boat, then?), or summoning bubble transitions to let him teleport.
Potty: Which reminds me, SpongeBob has shown he can bend probability in favor of himself. Yes, this happened while he was in possession of the Magic Conch (we'll go over this later), but there was also the time where he wished for a flying ice cream truck to pop out from the sky. Right when it was going to crush him, he pleaded to live. And he did. So this would mean SpongeBob's probability manipulation is so efficient that it can reach the scientifically impossible!
Patchy: But that's not all of SpongeBob's probability hax. What if we told you that there's a completely passive example?
Live-action stock footage is shown of a pig flying, and cats and dogs raining from the sky.
Patchy: Yeah, I thought so. Basically, in I'm Your Biggest Fanatic, Kevin enlisted SpongeBob on a series of dangerous tasks, such as capturing certain amounts of jellyfish, but this only caused the exact numbers of jellyfish to immediately appear in SpongeBob's net.
Potty: Later on, Kevin gave him even more dangerous tasks, like covering his face with jelly, only for Kevin to suffer from the pain instead of SpongeBob!
Patchy: To back up SpongeBob's luck hax even further, the episode SpongeBob Meets the Strangler is always another good example. You see, SpongeBob was targeted by the Tattletale Strangler, an infamous serial killer notorious for having a long history of murdering anybody who dares to try and turn him in.
Potty: The Tattletale Strangler tried to kill SpongeBob numerous times throughout the episode, but the only results were people randomly barging in and interrupting him no matter what.
Patchy: Then, near the end of the episode, the Strangler jumped out of a plane to escape from SpongeBob, only to crash through a conveniently-located prison and land in a cell!
Potty: To back up SpongeBob's luck even MORE further, there's a later episode where he bested Fuzzy Acorns on COMPLETE accident, and SpongeBob didn't even know about this until after Fuzzy was already defeated.
Patchy: It has been shown the Power of Friendship (no, that's not a reference to the filler-and-fanservice-ridden anime, Fairy Tail) can restore a being back to full health, which should include SpongeBob himself. It was so powerful on Mermaid Man and Viro Reganto that it caused them to stop fighting, strengthen the economy, stop energy crisis, prevent rain from occurring on Saturdays, and overall, bring world peace!
Potty: With sufficiently built-up anger, SpongeBob can spontaneously create a huge explosion!
Patchy: Wait, if nobody else in the Krusty Krab appeared for the rest of the episode, does that mean he straight-up fucking killed everybody inside?
Potty: SpongeBob can use his imagination to make anything he wants real, which not only includes portals to entire dimensions, but he can also create objects at his own leisure and make the impossible possible.
Patchy: Speaking of imagination, SpongeBob has many other mind-centered powers. He can transmit his thoughts to others, he can read minds, he can tell if someone else is reading HIS mind, and he can turn himself intangible to travel into other people's dreams.
Potty: Which is funny since SpongeBob resists mind control on an impressive degree. When Plankton took control over SpongeBob's body to give him a Krabby Patty, SpongeBob still retained his willpower. In a later episode, Plankton forced SpongeBob's brain into a robot specifically designed to give him a Krabby Patty, but he still disobeyed him!
Patchy: In ANOTHER later episode, Plankton repeatedly tried to sabotage SpongeBob's mind with hypnosis. Sure, SpongeBob initially fell asleep from this, but the rest of the effects were ultimately futile on him. To put the cherry on top of the metaphorical sundae, SpongeBob ate loads of Jerktonium in a MUCH later episode, which turned Bikini Bottom into "Jerks"...except for him.
Potty: And in case those aren't impressive to you for whatever reason, SpongeBob has shown he has potent control over the plot. He can edit the story's script, disorient panels, change the topic of the narrative, get the reader to draw whatever is relevant, and he can make whatever he draws real (this will be important later)! Heck, his writers can even help him solve mysteries and such.
Patchy: SpongeBob can transmute objects, and even people, if he desires. He once turned a fire-resistant suit into Pretty Patties, and in another episode, he turned Patrick into a lifeless jar of mayonnaise.
Potty: On a somewhat related note, he froze people solid and turned others into snowmen with his "cool" persona. Make that of what you will.
Patchy: SpongeBob can physically interact with stuff that would normally be impossible to interact with in real life, such as the Flying Dutchman, clouds, rainbows, sound, and thought bubbles. Now that I mention sound, he also has the powers of Broadway Force, which causes him to initiate a song, trapping everybody into it. This has actually saved his cubed rear on a few occasions, like when he burst into the badass Goofy Goober Rock song when Plankton was going to let King Neptune kill him.
Potty: SpongeBob can manipulate sand at his own leisure, which is more useful than it sounds considering how he made tanks, nukes, castles, loyal henchmen, mech suits, cannons and fighter jets with them. Neon Genesis Evangelion, anybody?
Patchy: SpongeBob's brain is a lot more useful than one would think, given how it's filled with workers who are constantly working to preserve SpongeBob's memories and make him focus on what he needs to pay attention to. All of these would make it harder for an opponent of his to take over his mind.
Potty: Hell, his thoughts were even capable of driving The Flying Dutchman insane. Yes, THE Flying Dutchman - the same immortal ghost who can claim souls, create eldritch abominations, and create a dimension full of nightmare-inducing shit.
Patchy: But a list of SpongeBob's natural abilities wouldn't be complete without his famous laughter, which is strong enough to hurt spirits, stun others, and drive opponents mentally insane!
Potty: Wait, his laughter can DAMAGE ghosts?! Jeez, he could've ended The Exorcist as soon as the movie began...
Patchy: In terms of equipment, SpongeBob certainly doesn't sell short. To start off with, there's his trustworthy spatula, which he names Spat.
Potty: Used primarily as a piercing weapon, this bad boy is hydrodynamic with port-and-starboard attachments and a turbo drive. It can cut through metal and furniture, and SpongeBob is so proficient with it that he came out on top of a sword fight with it!
Patchy: He has a jellyfishing net, which he never leaves behind. It is used to capture jellyfish, and while the typical net is made of bamboo, SpongeBob does have a better version...Ol' Reliable.
Potty: That wouldn't be the only jellyfish-centered item SpongeBob has in his disposal. With the Jellyfish Launcher, it does exactly what you think it does.
Patchy: Another item SpongeBob always has on him are his bubble-blowing equipment, which are more dangerous than they look.
Potty: I can vouch for that. SpongeBob's bubbles can be used as bombs, remove opponents from the battlefield area, burn the eyes of others, and create muscular lifeforms.
Patchy: Careful, Potty. You're gonna summon the bad apples of the JoJo fanbase with the last thing you said.
Potty: Don't worry, we have a security system that fires upon sight of people who laugh at the same three jokes.
Patchy: Oh, thank god. Anyway, for a general idea on how powerful SpongeBob's bubbles are, Squidward (who is, without question, comparable to SpongeBob) was unable to break out of one no matter how hard he punched it. His bubbles are also capable of transporting all of Bikini Bottom's citizens to Texas within a few seconds, as well as containing Pearl, a sperm whale. The average female sperm whale weighs in at 31,000 lbs.
Potty: With the Magic Pencil, SpongeBob can bring anything he draws into reality, whether it be creatures, weapons, or interdimensional portals.
Patchy: Now before you say "But I thought the pencil was broken in its debut episode!", it has been shown in Doodle Dimension that SpongeBob can summon a new pencil out of thin air. Which doubles as usefulness if the pencil were to get swiped from his possession or something.
Potty: The pencil's eraser can remove beings from existence, straight-up ignoring their durability, and can potentially negate their regenerative capabilities since, when half of SpongeBob's body was erased by it, he couldn't heal himself until he drew them back on.
Patchy: Another magical, writing-related item SpongeBob has is the Magic Book.
Potty: It's pretty much a limitless, PG-rated version of the Death Note, as anything SpongeBob writes down in the book will immediately come true.
Patchy: If the book gets destroyed or stolen, then SpongeBob won't need to worry, as the video game, SpongeBob HeroPants, confirms he has a spare page stored in his brain. But that's not all. Bubbles the Dolphin, who is the watcher of the SpongeBob universe, stated it has potential to destroy all of reality!
Potty: There's more feats to show how powerful this bootleg Death Note truly is. It buffed SpongeBob and his friends into superheroes, it nearly caused the movie to end, and Burger Beard used it to banish SpongeBob and co. to Pelican Island!
Patchy: SpongeBob can easily go through any point in time with his time machine and make any changes accordingly.
Potty: The Magic Conch is a toy shell that SpongeBob and Patrick used to answer their questions while stranded in a kelp forest.
Patchy: But it's not just a toy - it makes SpongeBob luckier than ever! With the Magic Conch, a supply of food literally dropped from the sky right after Squidward told him that his answers wouldn't come from the sky. Later on, it prevented Squidward from getting any food, but when Patrick asked Squidward's question verbatim, it accepted him instead.
Potty: The Reef Blower is the underwater equivalent of everyday leaf blowers, and they are powerful enough to suck the entire ocean dry nearly instantly, as we mentioned earlier.
Patchy: The game Plankton's Robitic Revenge gives him some handy gizmos, which include...
- Pickle Blaster - Shoots pickles that do a great deal of damage to opponents
- Condiment Cannon - Rapidly shoots out globs of ketchup, mustard and relish
- Portable Tarter Sauce - Shoots out streams of...well, tarter sauce
- Neptuning Fork - Shoots out electric rays
- Bubblegum Blaster - Shoots out explosive gum
- Exploding Pie Launcher - Self-explanatory
Potty: Oh, now we're bringing up his underrated games, huh? Now that brings us to his power-ups from the SpongeBob edition of Drawn to Life, each of which lasts for 30 seconds.
- Karate Glove - Grants double damage for each attack
- Helmet - Protects SpongeBob from fall damage
- Hopping Boots - Allows SpongeBob to jump a lot higher than normal
- Feather Hat - Allows SpongeBob to freely glide
- Jellyfish Net - Lets SpongeBob destroy any incoming projectiles and attack while in midair
- Ninja Shoes - Massively boosts SpongeBob's speed
- Bubble Blower - Hits enemies that are far away from SpongeBob
- Spike Shoes - Lets SpongeBob walk on spiked surfaces without getting hurt, and walk on slippery surfaces without any hassle
Patchy: SpongeBob's Sponge Bowl is a yellow bowling ball used to flatten enemies like a pancake, which can become a spiked ball and explode. And with his Sonic Wave Guitar, he sends a wave of energy to long distances that can outright demolish opponents.
Potty: He has a pop gun that was supposed to be used for harvesting moon rocks. It can be used to trap opponents underneath nets, including Mr. Krabs, who is normally portrayed as tougher than him. Though while it does carry infinite ammo, it does need to be recharged before shooting again.
Patchy: And with Mermaid Man's belt, SpongeBob can shrink all of Bikini Bottom, engulf people in fire and cut others in half. And it can change the M for mini, to W for wumbo. Sorta.
Potty: Last but not least, SpongeBob has his Invisible Spray, which is exactly what it says. SpongeBob used this with Patrick to scare the residents of Bikini Bottom, but it does have one drawback - the effects can be undone if water is splashed on him.
Patchy: Wait, what the fuck? But he's underwater!
Potty: For transformations, SpongeBob has three, and since The Quickster came first, we're going to begin with that. He has the uncanny ability to run really...quick. No, seriously, it greatly boosts his speed.
SpongeBob: Wanna see me run to that mountain and back? Ya wanna see me do it again?
Patchy: His Goofy Goober Rock form allows him to burst into the sick titular song, giving him an electric guitar. The guitar can release blasts, which saved all of Bikini Bottom from Plankton's mind control...
Potty: ...but this form also allows him to turn into the planet. Yeah, that's a thing.
Patchy: And finally, there's the Invincibubble, which SpongeBob is buffed up to if he uses the Magic Book. Unlike with The Quickster, it massively improves all of his physical stats this time.
Potty: In this form, he fires off bubbles as if they were bullets and capture incoming projectiles. His bubbles also come in floods, which are powerful enough to cover an entire street!
Patchy: But as much as you may have seen this section coming, SpongeBob isn't precisely a flawless character. SpongeBob is good-natured at heart, although to be fair, he can be an aggressive combatant when need be, especially once he notices his opponent is a violent fighter. Plus, he's the same guy who killed a bunch of scallops for trying to eat a Krabby Patty he had a crush on, so...
Potty: He is naive and can easily be tricked, although again, this may not be much of an issue, because whenever he's tricked by the likes of Plankton and Mr. Krabs, it's not uncommon for him to stand up for himself once he notices what's going on.
Patchy: Also, he's wall level at best and is weaker than humans because of how small he-
Potty: Hey, cut the bullshit before I debunk that bullshit argument.
Patchy: Sheesh, take a joke, Potty! Can't I mock BS arguments once in a while?
Potty: Oh, thank god, I was gonna beat you to a pulp.
Patchy: You wish. Anyway, SpongeBob is very prone to cowardice and has a long list of fears to prove that. But really, no matter how imperfect he is, it doesn't ultimately matter as SpongeBob will undoubtedly remain as the most iconic cartoon character of this generation and has impacted pop culture like nobody else. Suck on that, Loud House!
SpongeBob: You know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, it's that you are who you are. And no amount of mermaid magic...or managerial promotion...or some other third thing, can make me anything more than what I really am inside - a kid.
Pac-Man Gobbles Up DEATH BATTLE![]
Potty: Going to the arcade is a great way to kill time, especially back in the 1980s. Y'know, the 80s - where corny pop music and cornier movies reigned pop culture.
Patchy: At the start of the decade, a yellow circle known as Pac-Man changed the world. His creator, Toru Iwatani, wanted the video game industry to have a game that could appeal to all ages/genders and wasn't centered on violence or sports. One day, he noticed a missing slice of pizza in his pizza box, and that's when he came up with Pac-Man's design.
Intermission[]
Pre-Fight[]
The day started with a beautiful view of Bikini Atoll. The waves gently crashed onto the island's surface, and distant seagulls squawked. "Ah, ze sea," the French Narrator said. "So mysterious. So wonderful. So...uhh...wet." The camera submerged underwater. "Home to Bikini Bottom's local fry cook, SpongeBob SquarePants, who often stirs up trouble at ze local dining establishment, ze Krusty Krab. So let's see what he's up to right now."
Inside of the Krusty Krab, the restaurant was experiencing a massive lunch rush. There was a line the size of your typical Black Friday line at Wal-Mart, and SpongeBob was literally pouring his sweat into his work in the kitchen. "SpongeBob, table seven still needs their order!" Squidward shouted. "And could you hurry up? Some people here would like to go HOME!" SpongeBob's head perked up. "Don't worry, Squidward! I'm working on those orders lickety-split!" He then cracked his knuckles. "Alright, let's crank up the heat on these bad boys!" Numerous arms sprouted out of SpongeBob, and he started frying over dozens of patties.
In line, the local, obese nerd Bubble Bass was up next to order. "Let me guess, Tiny," Squidward sarcastically asked. "A Diet Dr. Kelp?"
"I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe on a raft, four-by-four animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it and let it swim." Silence filled the lobby. "We serve food here, sir," Squidward replied. Little did he know that the next order was going to be bigger than this.
Approximately two blocks away, two yellow circles otherwise known as Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man were driving down the road in an old-fashioned convertible. They were going to pay a visit the Krusty Krab, and it was bound to be exciting for their massive appetites, as the couple read on a brochure that it was home to the best burgers imaginable.
(Work in progress)
Fight![]
Results[]
Next Time[]
Trivia[]
- The connections between SpongeBob and Pac-Man are that they are yellow, happy-go-lucky mascots with eternal smiles who are the pioneers of their genres (modern-day cartoons for SpongeBob, and video games for Pac-Man). That may sound generic, but they are THE square and circle characters (SpongeBob is the most popular square character of all time, and Pac-Man is the same with circle; there aren't many other fictional characters that can be defined based on their shape/color). Both have unorthodox combat methods (SpongeBob weaponizes bubble-blowing, his malleable body, his wacky karate techniques, and his fry cook skills, and Pac-Man utilizes pellets, his similarly malleable body, chasing after his opponent, and unusual hand-to-hand combat moves like butt-bouncing) and are extremely passionate about food (SpongeBob loves making Krabby Patties, and Pac-Man and pellets go as well together as EA and failure). Their creators were inspired by rather simple things (Stephen Hillenburg was influenced by marine biology, and Pac-Man's design comes from Toru Iwatani noticing a missing slice of pizza in his pizza box during his lunch break) and then went on to inspire other things upon their creations becoming massive successes (The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack was inspired by SpongeBob, with Flapjack being an inspiration for Adventure Time and Regular Show, and Frogger with Pac-Man). Although they live everyday lives (SpongeBob works at a fast food joint and Pac-Man is a father of two kids), they manage to go on adventures of all sorts, usually stemming from their clumsy mistakes (SpongeBob is naive and Pac-Man easily gets distracted by food).
- The fight would be animated in 2D, hand-drawn animation, but would then use sprites midway through (hint hint).