SpongeBob vs Courage is an off-season What-If? Death Battle by GoCommitDi, featuring SpongeBob SquarePants from the titular cartoon, and Courage from Courage the Cowardly Dog.


SpongeBob SquarePants vs Courage the Cowardly Dog! Two cowardly characters from iconic 1999 cartoons who have extreme regenerative abilities and regularly partake in surreal adventures will go at it in a fight, but only one will make it out alive. Who will prove to be the better Toon Force-driven coward?



Patchy: Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network are the two TV channels you go for when it comes to all your animation-related needs. You know, when Cartoon Network isn't using The Amazing World of Gumball as its own life support.


Potty: They've brought in two well-known cowardly characters who, despite their fears, always manage to save the day, while also being a lot more tougher than they look.

Patchy: And that would be the case with me idol, SpongeBob SquarePants, the loyal, immature fry cook of Bikini Bottom...


Potty: ...and Courage, the cowardly, protective canine of Nowhere, Kansas.


Patchy: I'm Patchy the Pirate, and he's Potty the Parrot.

Potty: (squawk) And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Pre-Fight Poll

Have any roots/bets? Feel free to vote in the poll to cast your vote!


  • Both SpongeBob and Courage will be composited and will receive feats from everything they're in except for crossover games.
    • I'm not compositing them because "whoops, one of them will get stomped if I don't composite them!" - I'm actually doing it to spice things up a little.
  • As per usual, both characters will have all of their equipment.
  • While both characters will be composited, they will not be overestimated. However, they won't be underestimated either. That means no "lol SpongeBob is weaker than humans and seagulls, he's wall level at best!!!!" bullcrap.

SpongeBob SquarePants Makes DEATH BATTLE the Best Day Ever!



Patchy: Ok, unless you live in North Korea, there is no need to introduce you to me idol, SpongeBob SquarePants. I'm sure even your grandparents have heard of 'em!

Potty: Yeah, I mean c'mon, he's unavoidable. Not only has his show spanned 13 seasons and 3 movies for over 20 years, but he's a merchandise giant, he's a meme icon, he has a comic book franchise, and he's even had a Broadway musical. He's the Mickey Mouse of this generation, to put it simply.

Patchy: But since no Death Battle bio could be complete without an introduction anyway...SpongeBob is an eternally optimistic sea sponge who has always dreamed of working as a fry cook. He flipped his first patty when he was still a baby, and that's how it all started. So it's amazing to know he's always had his dream set in stone!


Potty: So on the history-changing day of May 1, 1999, the pilot episode premiered, where SpongeBob applied for a job at the local fast food establishment, the Krusty Krab, home to the renowned, irresistible Krabby Patties. On second thought, an underwater burger doesn't sound so good after all. (brawk) But anyway, his dimwitted best friend, Patrick Star, managed to motivate SpongeBob into working for the Krusty Krab. So much for an animal without a brain, eh?

Patchy: The greedy Eugene Krabs initially doubted SpongeBob for his naivety, so he tasked him to buy a spatula that couldn't hope of being real. But guess what happened? He found it, and he ended up saving his short-tempered neighbor, Squidward Tentacles, as well as Mr. Krabs of course, from swarms of hungry anchovies!

Potty: Mr. Krabs decided SpongeBob was a trustworthy fry cook after all, so he hired him on the spot, much to Squidward's disappointment.

Patchy: Things aren't always easy for SpongeBob, however. He often finds himself having to save the day from Sheldon J. Plankton, who is Mr. Krabs' rival. While Plankton's restaurant, the Chum Bucket, never receives any visitors, he has one simple, evil plan he'll never let go of -- steal the Krabby Patty's secret formula to run Mr. Krabs out of business.

Potty: Well, it's a good thing SpongeBob has what it takes to protect himself in a fight, because underestimating him may just lead to your own death...

Patchy: SpongeBob has achieved many impressive feats over the years. We'd be here all day listing each of them, so we'll just go over the most important ones.


  • In several different ways, has stopped Plankton from stealing the Krabby Patty formula
  • Despite being put under mind control by Plankton to seize a Krabby Patty, SpongeBob's willpower refused to give it up
  • He and Patrick convinced their favorite superheroes, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, to get out of retirement
  • Successfully caught Bubble Bass lying about him forgetting to put pickles in a Krabby Patty by pointing out the pickles were under his tongue the entire time
  • Tricked everyone into thinking he was the dreaded Flying Dutchman (it would've worked perfectly if a jellyfish didn't sting Patrick's ass)
  • Speaking of which, dug up valuable treasure belonging to the real Flying Dutchman
  • Managed to get Sandy to stay in Bikini Bottom
  • Sparred against Sandy in karate on too many instances to count
  • Defeated the ruler of the ocean, King Neptune, in a cook-off
  • Survived a harsh winter in Sandy's treedome with Patrick
  • Competed against Patrick in the prestigious Fry Cook Games
  • Has defeated his evil clone DoodleBob not once, but twice
  • He and Patrick went to Shell City (a place no other sea animal returned from) to retrieve Neptune's crown
  • Found the lost city of Atlantis
  • Journeyed to the surface to reclaim the Krabby Patty formula from Burger Beard, and defeated him as a superhero
  • Went inside Karen to get rid of a virus that was infecting her
  • Has met Santa Claus, and once helped him repair the moon
  • Defeated robot versions of his friends and himself
  • His series is the longest-running Nicktoon, the fifth-longest running American animated series, has generated $13 billion from merchandise alone, and has only been rivaled by The Fairly OddParents (which has long since been cancelled, and for good reason)


Potty: But that's only the beginning. (squawk) This yellow demon is strong enough to destroy his own brain, which is a pocket dimension that contains a sun, he can create a realm with multiple stars, he can rotate Earth at a 360-degree angle, and he can casually move an anchor ten times bigger than himself with sheer pull force!

Patchy: He's able to contend with Squidward, who was moving an ENTIRE pirate ship in the same scene! In another episode, Squidward had no difficulties lifting up his house either!

French Narrator: The average pirate ship can weigh anywhere between a whopping 200,000 to 560,000 pounds. Easter Island Heads, which Squidward's house is modeled after, often weigh in at 14 tons.

Potty: But that's not all. When SpongeBob was in desperate need for a night light, he and Patrick moved a lighthouse around with no effort put in!

Patchy: Not only can he easily destroy metal walls, wooden tikis, giant robots, steel doors, wooden floors, and lift a boatmobile over his head, but he is capable of regularly fighting against Sandy Cheeks in karate!

French Narrator: Sandy herself is strong enough to eat an asteroid, physically pull a rocket ship, tank a fall from the moon, pull a boat down to the ocean floor, casually shatter a boulder with a single chop, lift up buildings over her head, create shockwaves, and wrestle against bulls.

Potty: He should easily scale past Santa Claus, who busted a good chunk of the moon, especially since SpongeBob himself could physically rotate it and could absorb enough water to become the moon, which brought Earth's tides back to normal.

Patchy: SpongeBob could create a massive explosion that eclipsed over Earth, resulting in 22.820321862 Ninatons. With help from Squidina and Pearl, they made a burp that expanded over the moon, which is 276 Exatons of TNT. And on a practically everyday basis, he can easily harm the other characters, all of whom survived getting crushed by the Alaskan Bullworm, who eclipsed over Bikini Bottom!

Potty: The structures of Bikini Bottom can withstand the force of a nuclear explosion, which we're about to get to.


Patchy: Also, the Bikini Bottomites would definitely include Frank, who turned off the sun and then back on, as well as Pearl, who is strong enough to shatter Sandy's treedome, which can withstand the force of the entire ocean being sucked into it.

Sandys treedome sucks in ocean.gif

Potty: Thanks to that, it should be a replica of when SpongeBob's Reef Blower did the same feat, which yielded in 21 Yottatons.

Patchy: Which reminds me, perhaps his most important strength feat is how he regularly harms characters capable of damaging him. Hell, he's even capable of hurting himself, like the time he cracked his fingers so hard he burst into tears! This means SpongeBob's strength mirrors his durability.

Potty: And that brings us to his durability. (squawk) On way too many instances to count, SpongeBob has shown he's tough enough to withstand nuclear explosions that have been calculated at 825 Megatons - enough firepower to destroy a mountain!


Patchy: And despite being an undersea creature, he's shown he can tank the heat of the sun. The sun usually contains a scorching hot temperature of 5,778 Kelvin, or 9,940 Fahrenheit!

Potty: On top of that, SpongeBob has taken beatings from Sandy, who is consistently shown as stronger than him, and he should also be far superior to the likes of Pearl, who tanked the impact of a rock that was tossed hard enough for it to circle around the moon within seconds! He could also survive the explosion of his Reef Blower, which contained the entire ocean at the time that feat occurred.

Patchy: Plus, he can withstand the horrible sounds of Squidward's clarinet, which can easily shatter ears, destroy icebergs, and collapse skyscrapers.

Squidward destroys stuff with clarinet.gif

Potty: SpongeBob's body can take the force of him absorbing Goo Lagoon, which has resulted in 2.56 teratons of TNT, which is the equivalent to tanking an attack that can obliterate a small country.

Patchy: But if that wasn't enough, his body can also handle Patrick freezing all of Earth into one giant ice cube, which is a Small Planet level feat.

French Narrator: Patrick's brain freeze was severe enough to leave the planet frozen for over five billion years.

Potty: SpongeBob packs some pretty heavy speed too. To start things off, he could travel from Bikini Bottom to the outskirts of the Milky Way galaxy in five seconds, which brought in speeds of 8.1 trillion times the speed of light!

Patchy: He can keep up with and even outrun Patrick, who ran from the ocean floor to the sun in 11 seconds.

Patrick can blitz most anime verses.gif

Potty: This means Patrick can move at 47,808,000,000 miles per hour, or 159.470322632 times the speed of light!

Patchy: To further show how consistent these are, SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs and Sandy were able to outmaneuver the Atlanteans, who are immortal aliens that were stated to run "billions of light years" to carry a million-year-old bubble.

A clip from Atlantis SquarePantis plays, showcasing Lord Royal Highness saying, "This bubble is over one million years old. It was brought here when the first Atlanteans colonized this place, deftly hand-carried over billions of light years from our home planet."


Potty: This will undoubtedly sound just as weird, but SpongeBob is easily capable of keeping pace with Squidward, who could run across an empty universe within mere seconds.

7c9faaf7f97b899be09d5f6c66b87e5231eeb334 hq.gif

Patchy: Oh, that's not even the weirdest feat here, so listen closely. One time, SpongeBob turned his head around so fast that he caught his reflection off-guard. While this may not sound noteworthy at first glance, it should be noted mirrors reflect light, which means SpongeBob looked into a mirror before the light photons being reflected could reach his eyes.

SpongeBob catches reflection off guard.gif

Potty: SpongeBob can keep up with Sandy, who can dodge The Flying Dutchman's optic beams, jump from the moon to Saturn in two seconds, and react to projectiles while flying her jet pack, which took her from Bikini Bottom to the moon in nine seconds.

Patchy: For the Saturn feat, the distance between Saturn and Earth is 926.71 million miles, meaning Sandy had to surf at 2487.31684123 times the speed of light. As for piloting a jet pack that can go from Bikini Bottom to the moon in nine seconds, the distance between Earth and the moon is 384,400km. 384,000 divided by 9 would equal 42711.111km/s, which is 14% the speed of light.

Potty: On too many occasions to properly count, SpongeBob has dodged lasers. This includes Plankton's infrared lasers, which would additionally mean SpongeBob can see infrared light.

Patchy: Intelligence-wise, SpongeBob is a lot smarter than most people credit him as. Yeah, we won't deny he tends to be naive and too trusting a lot, but he's no stranger to standing up for himself once he realizes what someone's true intentions are, like when Plankton tried to befriend him just so he could get a Krabby Patty, or when SpongeBob found out Mr. Krabs was using him to poach jellyfish for profit.

Potty: SpongeBob is a highly talented fry cook with a near-perfect record who is also a remarkable builder, as he once made a fully-functional rocket out of boat parts and created a perfect replica of Squidward's house within twenty-four hours.

Patchy: He is capable of forming on-the-spot plans, such as when he was cornered by DoodleBob, only to use DoodleBob's weakness to paper to his advantage. If that's not enough, he is a WAY better aircraft pilot than he is a boat driver, he has perfect memorization of all Krusty Krab policies, he built a giant clarinet out of kelp with Patrick, and he's probably a better artist than Squidward.

Potty: He can expertly play the guitar, drums, trumpet, orcarina, flute, and DJ set, and he definitely has a way with words, as he convinced an angry mob to stop fighting so that they could perform at the Bubble Bowl for Squidward's sake.

Patchy: Onto abilities, SpongeBob is a well-known user of Toon Force, which refers to defying the laws of physics in comedic manners. Thanks to this, it gives him a lot of helpful powers, such as his most iconic one - regeneration, which lets him come back from the most grievous of injuries in incredibly short, or instant, timeframes.

Potty: SpongeBob's regeneration is quite extreme, to say the least. He has been burnt to dust, turned into a cloud of mist, melted to a puddle, split in half, dismembered, decapitated, had his whole body explode into pieces, shattered like glass, and reduced to his skeleton, only to immediately appear fine and well afterwards.

Patchy: However, all of those pale in comparison to how he reformed himself from being popped into nothingness AND laughing off being reduced to his outline. These would give SpongeBob a Low-Godly healing factor, meaning SpongeBob cannot get killed from brute force alone. And thanks to these, he should easily be on par with Patrick, who also came back from having his entire body popped.

Pop-Up: There isn't much to contradict SpongeBob's Low-Godly regeneration, considering how his case isn't like, say, Gumball Watterson's (for context, some debaters say Gumball has that level of regeneration due to eating himself out of existence, despite the fact Gumball has been threatened by erasure in three separate episodes [The Name, The Money, and The Rerun], thus making Low-Godly Gumball an outlier).

Potty: Oh, and here's a fun fact - SpongeBob's regenerative capabilities aren't just a big "Screw you" to logic. In the real world, marine sponges can heal from any damaged body part. Which brings us to SpongeBob's malleable body.

Patchy: Just like how the theme song says, SpongeBob is definitely absorbent and porous. Normally, he is capable of using his spongy body to house substances into himself...

Potty: ...but his natural physical attributes can shield him from blunt force attacks as well.

Patchy: If he absorbs a substance, he will be able to use it as weapons, such as water and snowballs, and he can do this by expunging them from either his mouth, or his pores. Adding on, SpongeBob's full control over his body also allows him to create duplicates of himself, stretch his limbs, blend in with his surroundings by turning his body camouflage, produce extra arms, use his eyes as weapons, retain control over himself after having his body divided, manipulate his size, and fit himself into concealed areas.

Potty: And thanks to his rubbery traits, SpongeBob possesses remarkable shapeshifting. With his shapeshifting powers, he can take on the forms of different characters, replicate their voices, morph into objects, and expand his muscle mass.

Patchy: But SpongeBob's sponginess isn't the only ability he has; SpongeBob is capable of flying with total ease. While it's widely known he can do this by inflating his pants, he actually has many other ways of flying.

Potty: It's a fatal mistake to think SpongeBob lacks formal training, because he's quite the karate master. He can outmatch Sandy, who was trained by Fuzzy Acorn, with Acorn being so skilled that he's the only one to own the best belt in karate...the BLACKER belt.

Patchy: The talk of karate brings me to SpongeBob's stamina, which is damn impressive. As shown in To Save a Squirrel, it was shown SpongeBob could survive being stranded in the wilderness for an entire YEAR without food, water and shelter. Then, in Fear of a Krabby Patty, he worked a 43-day shift without breaks.

Potty: But wait, there's more! He stood still for three days straight in Clams, he did it again for FOUR days in Banned in Bikini Bottom, and he partook in a six-month long journey in Scavenger Pants without rest.

Patchy: SpongeBob can manipulate his own environment at his own will, whether it be rotating Earth's gravity, driving boulders (how the hell does he struggle to drive a boat, then?), or summoning bubble transitions to let him teleport.

Potty: Which reminds me, SpongeBob has shown he can bend probability in favor of himself. Yes, this happened while he was in possession of the Magic Conch (we'll go over this later), but there was also the time where he wished for a flying ice cream truck to pop out from the sky. Right when it was going to crush him, he pleaded to live. And he did. So this would mean SpongeBob's probability manipulation is so efficient that it can reach the scientifically impossible!

Patchy: But that's not all of SpongeBob's probability hax. What if we told you that there's a completely passive example?

Live-action stock footage is shown of a pig flying, and cats and dogs raining from the sky.

Patchy: Yeah, I thought so. Basically, in I'm Your Biggest Fanatic, Kevin enlisted SpongeBob on a series of dangerous tasks, such as capturing certain amounts of jellyfish, but this only caused the exact numbers of jellyfish to immediately appear in SpongeBob's net.

Potty: Later on, Kevin gave him even more dangerous tasks, like covering his face with jelly, only for Kevin to suffer from the pain instead of SpongeBob!

Patchy: To back up SpongeBob's luck hax even further, the episode SpongeBob Meets the Strangler is always another good example. You see, SpongeBob was targeted by the Tattletale Strangler, an infamous serial killer notorious for having a long history of murdering anybody who dares to try and turn him in.

Potty: The Tattletale Strangler tried to kill SpongeBob numerous times throughout the episode, but the only results were people randomly barging in and interrupting him no matter what.

Patchy: Then, near the end of the episode, the Strangler jumped out of a plane to escape from SpongeBob, only to crash through a conveniently-located prison and land in a cell!

Potty: To back up SpongeBob's luck even MORE further, there's a later episode where he bested Fuzzy Acorns on COMPLETE accident, and SpongeBob didn't even know about this until after Fuzzy was already defeated.

Patchy: It has been shown the Power of Friendship (no, that's not a reference to the filler-and-fanservice-ridden anime, Fairy Tail) can restore a being back to full health, which should include SpongeBob himself. It was so powerful on Mermaid Man and Viro Reganto that it caused them to stop fighting, strengthen the economy, stop energy crisis, prevent rain from occurring on Saturdays, and overall, bring world peace!

Potty: With sufficiently built-up anger, SpongeBob can spontaneously create a huge explosion!

SpongeBob explodes out of anger.gif

Patchy: Wait, if nobody else in the Krusty Krab appeared for the rest of the episode, does that mean he straight-up fucking killed everybody inside?

Potty: SpongeBob can use his imagination to make anything he wants real, which not only includes portals to entire dimensions, but he can also create objects at his own leisure and make the impossible possible.

Patchy: Speaking of imagination, SpongeBob has many other mind-centered powers. He can transmit his thoughts to others, he can read minds, he can tell if someone else is reading HIS mind, and he can turn himself intangible to travel into other people's dreams.

Potty: Which is funny since SpongeBob resists mind control on an impressive degree. When Plankton took control over SpongeBob's body to give him a Krabby Patty, SpongeBob still retained his willpower. In a later episode, Plankton forced SpongeBob's brain into a robot specifically designed to give him a Krabby Patty, but he still disobeyed him!

Patchy: In ANOTHER later episode, Plankton repeatedly tried to sabotage SpongeBob's mind with hypnosis. Sure, SpongeBob initially fell asleep from this, but the rest of the effects were ultimately futile on him. To put the cherry on top of the metaphorical sundae, SpongeBob ate loads of Jerktonium in a MUCH later episode, which turned Bikini Bottom into "Jerks"...except for him.

Potty: And in case those aren't impressive to you for whatever reason, SpongeBob has shown he has potent control over the plot. He can edit the story's script, disorient panels, change the topic of the narrative, get the reader to draw whatever is relevant, and he can make whatever he draws real (this will be important later)! Heck, his writers can even help him solve mysteries and such.

Patchy: SpongeBob can transmute objects, and even people, if he desires. He once turned a fire-resistant suit into Pretty Patties, and in another episode, he turned Patrick into a lifeless jar of mayonnaise.

Potty: On a somewhat related note, he froze people solid and turned others into snowmen with his "cool" persona. Make that of what you will.

SpongeBob freezes people.gif

Patchy: SpongeBob can physically interact with stuff that would normally be impossible to interact with in real life, such as the Flying Dutchman, clouds, rainbows, sound, and thought bubbles. Now that I mention sound, he also has the powers of Broadway Force, which causes him to initiate a song, trapping everybody into it. This has actually saved his cubed rear on a few occasions, like when he burst into the badass Goofy Goober Rock song when Plankton was going to let King Neptune kill him.

Potty: SpongeBob can manipulate sand at his own leisure, which is more useful than it sounds considering how he made tanks, nukes, castles, loyal henchmen, mech suits, cannons and fighter jets with them. Neon Genesis Evangelion, anybody?

Patchy: SpongeBob's brain is a lot more useful than one would think, given how it's filled with workers who are constantly working to preserve SpongeBob's memories and make him focus on what he needs to pay attention to. All of these would make it harder for an opponent of his to take over his mind.

Potty: Hell, his thoughts were even capable of driving The Flying Dutchman insane. Yes, THE Flying Dutchman - the same immortal ghost who can claim souls, create eldritch abominations, and create a dimension full of nightmare-inducing shit.

Patchy: But a list of SpongeBob's natural abilities wouldn't be complete without his famous laughter, which is strong enough to hurt spirits, stun others, and drive opponents mentally insane!

Potty: Wait, his laughter can DAMAGE ghosts?! Jeez, he could've ended The Exorcist as soon as the movie began...

Patchy: In terms of equipment, SpongeBob certainly doesn't sell short. To start off with, there's his trustworthy spatula, which he names Spat.

Potty: Used primarily as a piercing weapon, this bad boy is hydrodynamic with port-and-starboard attachments and a turbo drive. It can cut through metal and furniture, and SpongeBob is so proficient with it that he came out on top of a sword fight with it!

SpongeBob spatula sword fight.gif

Patchy: He has a jellyfishing net, which he never leaves behind. It is used to capture jellyfish, and while the typical net is made of bamboo, SpongeBob does have a better version...Ol' Reliable.

Ol Reliable.png

Potty: That wouldn't be the only jellyfish-centered item SpongeBob has in his disposal. With the Jellyfish Launcher, it does exactly what you think it does.

Patchy: Another item SpongeBob always has on him are his bubble-blowing equipment, which are more dangerous than they look.

Spongebob bubble container and bubble wand.jpg

Potty: I can vouch for that. SpongeBob's bubbles can be used as bombs, remove opponents from the battlefield area, burn the eyes of others, and create muscular lifeforms.

Patchy: Careful, Potty. You're gonna summon the bad apples of the JoJo fanbase with the last thing you said.

Potty: Don't worry, we have a security system that fires upon sight of people who laugh at the same three jokes.

Patchy: Oh, thank god. Anyway, for a general idea on how powerful SpongeBob's bubbles are, Squidward (who is, without question, comparable to SpongeBob) was unable to break out of one no matter how hard he punched it. His bubbles are also capable of transporting all of Bikini Bottom's citizens to Texas within a few seconds, as well as containing Pearl, a sperm whale. The average female sperm whale weighs in at 31,000 lbs.

Potty: With the Magic Pencil, SpongeBob can bring anything he draws into reality, whether it be creatures, weapons, or interdimensional portals.

Magic pencil.png

Patchy: Now before you say "But I thought the pencil was broken in its debut episode!", it has been shown in Doodle Dimension that SpongeBob can summon a new pencil out of thin air. Which doubles as usefulness if the pencil were to get swiped from his possession or something.

Potty: The pencil's eraser can remove beings from existence, straight-up ignoring their durability and potentially regenerative capabilities.

Potty: Another magical, writing-related item SpongeBob has is the Magic Book. It's pretty much a limitless, PG-rated version of the Death Note, as anything SpongeBob writes down in the book will immediately come true.


Patchy: If the book gets destroyed or stolen, then SpongeBob won't need to worry, as the video game, SpongeBob HeroPants, confirms he has a spare page stored in his brain. But that's not all. Bubbles the Dolphin, who is the watcher of the SpongeBob universe, stated it has potential to destroy all of reality!

Potty: There's more feats to show how powerful this bootleg Death Note truly is. It buffed SpongeBob and his friends into superheroes, it nearly caused the movie to end, and Burger Beard used it to banish SpongeBob and co. to Pelican Island!

Patchy: SpongeBob can easily go through any point in time with his time machine and make any changes accordingly.

Potty: The Magic Conch is a toy shell that SpongeBob and Patrick used to answer their questions while stranded in a kelp forest.

SpongeBob magic conch.jpg

Patchy: But it's not just a toy - it makes SpongeBob luckier than ever! With the Magic Conch, a supply of food literally dropped from the sky right after Squidward told him that his answers wouldn't come from the sky. Later on, it prevented Squidward from getting any food, but when Patrick asked Squidward's question verbatim, it accepted him instead.

Potty: The Reef Blower is the underwater equivalent of everyday leaf blowers, and they are powerful enough to suck the entire ocean dry nearly instantly, as we mentioned earlier.

Reef Blower sucks up ocean.gif

Patchy: The game Plankton's Robitic Revenge gives him some handy gizmos, which include...

  • Pickle Blaster - Shoots pickles that do a great deal of damage to opponents
  • Condiment Cannon - Rapidly shoots out globs of ketchup, mustard and relish
  • Portable Tarter Sauce - Shoots out streams of...well, tarter sauce
  • Neptuning Fork - Shoots out electric rays
  • Bubblegum Blaster - Shoots out explosive gum
  • Exploding Pie Launcher - Self-explanatory

Potty: Oh, now we're bringing up his underrated games, huh? Now that brings us to his power-ups from the SpongeBob edition of Drawn to Life, each of which lasts for 30 seconds.

  • Karate Glove - Grants double damage for each attack
  • Helmet - Protects SpongeBob from fall damage
  • Hopping Boots - Allows SpongeBob to jump a lot higher than normal
  • Feather Hat - Allows SpongeBob to freely glide
  • Jellyfish Net - Lets SpongeBob destroy any incoming projectiles and attack while in midair
  • Ninja Shoes - Massively boosts SpongeBob's speed
  • Bubble Blower - Hits enemies that are far away from SpongeBob
  • Spike Shoes - Lets SpongeBob walk on spiked surfaces without getting hurt, and walk on slippery surfaces without any hassle

Patchy: SpongeBob's Sponge Bowl is a yellow bowling ball used to flatten enemies like a pancake, which can become a spiked ball and explode. And with his Sonic Wave Guitar, he sends a wave of energy to long distances that can outright demolish opponents.

Potty: He has a pop gun that was supposed to be used for harvesting moon rocks. It can be used to trap opponents underneath nets, including Mr. Krabs, who is normally portrayed as tougher than him. Though while it does carry infinite ammo, it does need to be recharged before shooting again.

Patchy: And with Mermaid Man's belt, SpongeBob can shrink all of Bikini Bottom, engulf people in fire and cut others in half. And it can change the M for mini, to W for wumbo. Sorta.

Potty: Last but not least, SpongeBob has his Invisible Spray, which is exactly what it says. SpongeBob used this with Patrick to scare the residents of Bikini Bottom, but it does have one drawback - the effects can be undone if water is splashed on him.

Patchy: Wait, what the fuck? But he's underwater!

Potty: For transformations, SpongeBob has three, and since The Quickster came first, we're going to begin with that. He has the uncanny ability to run really...quick. No, seriously, it greatly boosts his speed.


SpongeBob: Wanna see me run to that mountain and back? Ya wanna see me do it again?

Patchy: His Goofy Goober Rock form allows him to burst into the sick titular song, giving him an electric guitar. The guitar can release blasts, which saved all of Bikini Bottom from Plankton's mind control...


Potty: ...but this form also allows him to turn into the planet. Yeah, that's a thing.

Patchy: And finally, there's the Invincibubble, which SpongeBob is buffed up to if he uses the Magic Book. Unlike with The Quickster, it massively improves all of his physical stats this time.

Potty: In this form, he fires off bubbles as if they were bullets and capture incoming projectiles. His bubbles also come in floods, which are powerful enough to cover an entire street!

Invincibubble floods a street.gif

Patchy: But as much as you may have seen this section coming, SpongeBob isn't precisely a flawless character. SpongeBob is good-natured at heart, although to be fair, he can be an aggressive combatant when need be, especially once he notices his opponent is a violent fighter. Plus, he's the same guy who killed a bunch of scallops for trying to eat a Krabby Patty he had a crush on, so...

Potty: He is naive and can easily be tricked, although again, this may not be much of an issue, because whenever he's tricked by the likes of Plankton and Mr. Krabs, it's not uncommon for him to stand up for himself once he notices what's going on.

Patchy: Also, he's wall level at best and is weaker than humans because of how small he-

Potty: Hey, cut the bullshit before I debunk that bullshit argument.

Patchy: Sheesh, take a joke, Potty! Can't I mock BS arguments once in a while?

Potty: Oh, thank god, I was gonna beat you to a pulp.

Patchy: You wish. Anyway, SpongeBob is very prone to cowardice and has a long list of fears to prove that. But really, no matter how imperfect he is, it doesn't ultimately matter as SpongeBob will undoubtedly remain as the most iconic cartoon character of this generation and has impacted pop culture like nobody else. Suck on that, Loud House!


SpongeBob: You know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, it's that you are who you are. And no amount of mermaid magic...or managerial promotion...or some other third thing, can make me anything more than what I really am inside - a kid.

Courage Screams for DEATH BATTLE!

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Patchy: Ah, Courage - the last Cartoon Network character to originate from the 1990s. And he's a damn amazing way to have wrapped up the millennium, I'll tell ya that.

Potty: Starting off with his backstory, Courage is a pink beagle who was raised by an identical mother and father in a private gated house. Life was peaceful for him, until the day he learned how to catch a ball.

Patchy: Oh god, I better get the tissues ready... (clears his throat as he grabs a box of tissues) Courage ended up getting his head stuck between the bars of the family's fence, so he was transported to a veterinarian to get freed. And he was, but suddenly, things went south from there.

Potty: The veterinarian requested Courage's parents to "have a talk" with him, so before they left the room, he distracted Courage with a lollipop. Courage ended up getting his tongue stuck on the sucker before having it get torn off, so he cried and tried to go to his parents for comfort.

Patchy: Courage instantly forgot about the pain once he heard his parents shouting for help, and what he found wasn't pretty. They were locked inside of a rocket ship about to blast off into space so they could be used as experiments.

Potty: He tried with all of his might to get them out of there, but it was too late. After getting launched into a trash can, he witnessed an event that would change his life forever.

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Patchy: (sniffles) Damn, there's no need for a cartoon to make me cry harder than the time Steve Burns left Blue's Clues.

Potty: YOU still watch Blue's Clues?

Patchy: Yeah, so what?

Potty: I think I may hate you a little less now.

Patchy: That was unexpected, but thank you, Potty. (exhales) Um, anyway, as I try my best to hold back any further tears, Courage's life made a turn for the better when he was discovered by Muriel Bagge. And have we mentioned Courage wasn't named Courage until Muriel found him?

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Muriel: Poor thing; out here all alone? What courage you have! (she would then pick up Courage) Would you like to come home with me?
(Courage then happily whimpers in approval, with tears still dwelling in his eyes)
Muriel: I'll call you Courage. We'll have a grand time!

Potty: ...damn.

Patchy: Yeah, I can't blame anybody for crying over that. But it's alright now; Courage has been under Muriel's care ever since then. Yes, Muriel is the damsel-in-distress who always needs to get rescued from paranormal and supernatural phenomena, and yes, Muriel's husband Eustace is a greedy asshole. But Courage wouldn't live life any other way.

Potty: Notice the "paranormal and supernatural phenomena" part? We thought so. We're emphasizing it because it shows Courage has many feats underneath his non-existent sleeve.


  • Thwarted the diabolical schemes of Katz on numerous occasions
  • Defeated a chicken from outer space - twice
  • Saved Muriel and the family's farmhouse from all sorts of creatures, aliens, demons and spirits
  • Talked a shadow out of their harmful deeds (scaring everybody in Nowhere for his own amusement)
    • On a similar note, has convinced a few other villains to turn good
  • Had a food fight with Bigfoot
  • Saved the entire town of Nowhere from Dr. Zalost's depression-inducing cannonballs with Muriel's Happy Plums
  • Also prevented the town from eating flan while they were hypnotized into doing so
  • Rescued a rabbit from her abusive boyfriend and helped her reunite with her best friend
  • Defeated brain-controlling alien worms and prevented the sun's heat from dying out
  • Fixed the ozone layer
  • Stole three of four heads on Mount Rushmore
  • Saved an endangered race of underwater species
  • Defeated an evil empress of China and restored the village's power
  • Went inside cyberspace and defeated a virus that had full control over the universe within the family's computer
  • Has sneaked into many heavily-guarded areas without making a peep, such as banks and military bases
  • Fought Eustace while they were giant kangaroo monsters
  • Lead an army of dogs against swarms of tree monsters
  • Outlasted his superior robotic counterpart, Mecha-Courage, in a fight with his sheer pain tolerance
  • Rescued the offspring of an alien star-creating squid from the government
  • Got revenge on the insane veterinarian by sending him into space, where he was mauled by every single dog he kidnapped, including his Parents
  • Learned it's okay to be imperfect
  • Overall, despite his show only lasting three years in production, it is the longest-reran Cartoon Network series (not counting third-party properties like Looney Tunes), lasting 13 years in reruns (2002-2015)
    • His show also has a cult following to this day, and is one of the very few Cartoon Network shows to have its entire series officially released on DVD

Patchy: And it's a good thing he has an abundance of feats, because they come with his enormous strength. To start things off, Courage is strong enough to completely shatter the sun to pieces with a scream.


Potty: He once left a huge mark on the moon, and he could hold a star with his goddamn bare hands! For reference, this star was made by a Starmaker, which are a species of alien squids who can create multiple stars at once.

French Narrator: Even the infant Starmakers can create constellations with ease. In addition, Muriel stated the Starmakers are responsible for "the stars in the heavens above".

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Patchy: Courage is capable of trading blows against Eustace; how powerful is Eustace, you may ask? Quite a lot - Eustace has tanked a firework explosion that turned him into a constellation, as well as a bite from The Shadow, who instantly turned into a starry sky of 325 stars upon flying into deep space. Shiver me timbers, I can't believe this means Eustace can put up a fight against Goku!

Potty: Courage can destroy his house by screaming, and his house is durable enough to live through the entire Earth getting smacked by an asteroid and spinning around the sun! We'll elaborate on that in a bit.

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Patchy: Courage was able to defeat the Hard Drive Virus, who infected Courage's computer, which contains an entire digital world, and it's important noting the Virus also had complete control over it! Courage also once literally fixed the sun and prevented its death by swapping light bulbs!

Potty: Courage has shown he is on par with Robot Randy, who was claimed to be the strongest robot there is. This makes sense, as Randy should easily scale past a robot who vaporized a mountain with a single blast, reducing it to nothing but a crater. Courage was also able to destroy a rocket that withstood the force of moving Saturn's asteroid ring by crashing into it.

Patchy: He can stash an entire whale, accordion and anchor in his non-existent pockets without any delay in his speed! The whale appears to be a mature blue whale, meaning Courage can easily carry and lift objects weighing anywhere between 110,000 to 330,000 pounds!

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Potty: On the topic of heavy lifting, Courage has also lifted Muriel and Eustace on too many instances to count, as well as a metal door, a doorknob while Le Quack tried to suck him in with a high-powered vacuum, an airplane while it was flying at top speed, a colony of frogs, and the massive God Bone (to the point where he used it as if it were a baseball bat and sliced it through a metal ceiling)!

Patchy: But just like SpongeBob, one of Courage's biggest strength feats are how he can harm himself, as well as characters who can hurt him, such as Eustace, Katz, the Black Puddle Queen, and many others, so that brings us to...

Potty: ...Courage's durability. Courage once survived being shot into outer space, crashing through the moon hard enough to leave a gigantic hole, and getting slammed back down to Earth by a large alien!

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Patchy: This isn't the only time the alien appeared. It's important to know that in a previous episode, the alien casually struck a meteor into Earth so hard that it repeatedly spun around the sun until the planet was sent 1,000 years into the future! This feat is worth 391.9 Ninatons of TNT!

Potty: He can withstand the heat of the sun's surface, which we previously stated has a temperature of 9,940 degrees Fahrenheit. But this loyal dog has also lived through the heat of the sun's CORE like it was nothing, which has a temperature of 27,000,000 degrees!

Patchy: He lived through a no-holds-barred beating from Mecha-Courage, who was designed to be superior to him in every way possible. He was stretched, slammed, run over, and crushed to goop by an oversized nail bat, yet he still had enough energy to laugh off the pain and come out victorious!

Potty: That wouldn't be the only time he's taken hits from a character considerably tougher than him, because he took a ruthless beating from Valkyries before getting thrown out of a tower by Valhalla!

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Patchy: And if you thought Courage never received any breaks, he's been bashed through planets hard enough for each of them to explode, yet he came out with minor burns!

Potty: He was once jammed into a rocket launcher and shot across the planet, only to get back up fine without any injuries. The timeframe here is 11 seconds, and the circumference of the earth is 24,901 miles. Speed was 3643120 m/s, which gives us 15.828 kilotons of TNT.


Patchy: He no-sold an explosion that was big enough to leave a huge crater into the ground, as well as a direct blast from a rocket launcher missile!

Potty: For speed, it's quite obvious dogs are faster than humans...but Courage FAR exceeds that! Perhaps his most notable speed feat is from when he ran from the sun's surface to its core.

Patchy: According to his rocket's timer earlier in the episode, he only had eight seconds to repair the sun, so an eight-second timeframe will be used here. Our distance is the radius of the sun, which is 695,510 kilometers. 695510/8 equals 86938.75 km/s, or 29% the speed of light!

Potty: This doubles as a strength/durability feat as well. Let's assume Courage weighs 50 pounds, which is the official average weight for medium-sized dogs. Since he had to move 86938750 m/s, this would give us 9.15251986E+16 joules, or 21.9 megatons. This is as powerful as most of the United States' nuclear weapons!

Patchy: On top of that, Courage should easily be comparable to The Shadow, who flew into deep space within a second, and he could pilot a spaceship that went to an entirely different solar system in seconds.

Potty: While we don't know how far away the solar system was, we do know it went from Earth to the sun in seconds, resulting in speeds of 1038.7x the speed of light. Oh yeah, and it also went to Saturn just as fast.

Patchy: Much like me idol SpongeBob here, Courage is no stranger to dodging lasers...

Potty: ...and lightning too, even though Courage had his back turned! For reference, the average lightning bolt travels at 270,000 miles per hour.


Patchy: He ran all the way from Kansas, to Tibet, to Paris, and then back to Kansas within a matter of seconds! Bear in mind it's very unlikely he did this over the course of several days or through transportation, given how he was in a rush to save Muriel.


Potty: He was able to keep track of a rocket ship rapidly moving through the solar system with a pair of binoculars. Which reminds me, Courage once dug through 1,000 years of dirt in five seconds without stopping, and he can react to incoming asteroids, with one instance being where he reacted to one accurately enough to launch a hook into it!

Patchy: Courage can easily outrun Eustace, who walked across the world in less than an hour, and he has no issues dodging close-range cannonballs either, even when he's tied up!

Potty: For intelligence, pay no mind to the "stupid dog" nickname that Eustace gives him, because Courage is incredibly smart. To start things off simply, he's capable of speaking English despite being a dog...although to be fair, this was drastically toned down starting from the second season. It's still impressive, though, since not all of the animals in his universe can speak.

Patchy: He's solved just about all of the problems throughout the show within a reasonable timeframe, which normally includes outsmarting clever villains, like con men, demons, scientists, and whatnot. And it's all thanks to how he's an on-the-fly thinker, being capable of reprogramming alien spaceships, wiring a train to explode, and finding oxygen while stranded underwater with no gear - the last of which he did by burping out bubbles. Seriously.

Potty: Courage is never unprepared, as he will do anything to save his life in a fight, whether it be creating a fortress, inventing gadgets, setting up traps and barricades, and researching. In fact, he always keeps several objects stashed around for emergencies - like everything necessary for killing a vampire. Yeah.

Patchy: It's nigh-impossible to trick Courage or catch him off-guard, as he has an undying tendency to never trust strangers and is always alert. He's a highly skilled cook, survivalist, tracker, repairman, puzzle solver, hypnotist and dancer - but the cherry on top of the sundae is how he's a licensed therapist!

Potty: Courage can use his therapist skills to his advantage by convincing his opponents to reform themselves and stop their evil deeds. Just ask The Shadow.

Patchy: Courage is an expert instrument player as well, as he can play a mean piano, tuba, violin and guitar. I bet he doesn't come close to my xylophone skills!

Potty: They're only good at making my ears bleed.

Patchy: You don't have ears! You're a parrot! (clears throat) Courage is also an outstanding artist, given how he painted a perfect replica of the Mona Lisa in under a second.

Potty: First up on Courage's abilities is Toon Force...which we REALLY don't need to explain again. But it does give him tons of stuff, like regeneration.

Patchy: Courage's regeneration would definitely make Deadpool proud, as the poor dog has been poofed into mist, melted to a puddle, disintegrated, shattered to pieces, decapitated, ripped in half, reduced to his skeleton, dismembered, blown up, turned inside out, deflated and flattened, only to instantly heal!

Potty: On top of regeneration, Courage has immense pain tolerance. All of his intestines can roll out of his stomach and he won't react at all! He can relax himself while getting eaten alive, and as a baby, he shrugged off his own tongue being torn out!

Patchy: Even the most gruesome of butt-kickings won't delay his stamina. He still had enough energy to defeat all of his enemies after being placed in a deadly game of dodgeball against them, and as mentioned earlier, he outlasted Mecha-Courage in a stomp battle!

Potty: Another highly consistent feature of Courage is how he has complete control over his body, being able to rearrange his features without any negative effects whatsoever. He can use his tongue as a slingshot and even use it like a third hand. Plus, he can unscrew his head off his body and put it back on to escape from predicaments.

Patchy: He can stretch his limbs as far as he wants, possess control of his separated limbs, manipulate his size, create perfect duplicates of himself, and even divide himself to have both of his sides go about!

Potty: And similarly to the fry cook sponge, Courage has incredible shapeshifting capabilities. He can take forms of characters, creatures, clouds, and fully-functioning vehicles! He can also become completely invisible, turn into inanimate objects, make his body two-dimensional, and perfectly replicate the voices of others.

Patchy: But the best part is that Courage's shapeshifting is very useful in combat, given how he can utilize it to confuse opponents and turn into weapons.

Potty: Thanks to having complete control over his body, Courage can use himself to cure diseases. Which may sound heavenly, but he does this by laying an egg. Yuck.

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Patchy: He can cause ranged attacks from any of his opponents to backfire on them by catching them with his mouth and blowing it back out at his target! He learned this from a Chinese lady who sold noodles, so the next time you see a vendor, they might just teach you this technique.

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Potty: Being a dog, Courage has an impeccable sense of smell and hearing. He can track down opponents and objects by sniffing the air, and he was able to hear a man snoring from the highest tower of a faraway castle.

Patchy: If Courage goes inside of a dryer, he can shrink himself down, with the hard limit being the size of a red blood cell! Granted, he can already manipulate his size without the need of a dryer, but hey, it's fun to go over.


Potty: He can touch intangible things, whether it be ghosts, clouds, smoke, sound and gas. Which reminds me, he has immersive powers, being able to go inside computers and paintings as if he were in Super Mario 64!

Patchy: Should Courage ever meditate himself, his spirit will exit his body, making himself intangible and also allowing him to enter the astral plane, as well as go into other people's minds. Odds are, whatever Courage can do in the real world, he can in the astral plane too.

Potty: By howling, Courage will end up summoning hordes of dogs from far and near to help him out in the midst of combat. They will rush to the scene and always fight by his side no matter what.

Patchy: He can also summon Mr. Mouse for help at any given moment. I don't even know how the hell he appears, but he will always beat up anybody that's after Courage, in exchange for some money and cheese.

Potty: But hey, who needs summoning when Courage has the ability to COMPLETELY remove someone's soul by performing an exorcism dance?

Patchy: Or how he can scream very loudly?

Potty: I-I don't see how that's useful.

Patchy: Oh really? Well, Courage naturally has powerful lungs. By screaming, he can stun opponents to where they can't move, shatter ears, and cause his surroundings to shake and crumble! But his most powerful scream is his Super Scream, which is louder than ever, and should thus scale far past his scream that shattered the sun! With this scream, he screams at full power for almost an entire minute, and any of his foes are sent underground...although doing this does leave him exhausted afterwards.

Potty: Goddamn! Alright, you changed my mind. For once.

Patchy: But before we wrap up his list of powers, we better list his resistances. Firstly, he resists mind manipulation on a damn big scale. He's been hypnotized into eating flan alongside the entire town of Nowhere, yet he shrugged this off! In another episode, he was around the God Bone, which forces dogs to lick it until they die, but he controlled this temptation pretty well!

Potty: Can't put him down with aging hax either, as he, Muriel and Eustace were the only ones unaffected after Earth was sent 1,000 years into the future, causing everything to drastically age. Ice-centered attacks are out of luck too, as Courage can thaw himself out, either through sheer force, or by making a light bulb appear above his head.

Patchy: For equipment, Courage typically carries around just about any melee weapon you can think of, but the most notable ones are a mallet, a nail bat, a slingshot, all kinds of explosives (he can disguise these as foods), a jackhammer, a chainsaw, a frying pan, and the most important of them all - pies!

Potty: Courage never forgets to carry around a flashlight, a gas mask, cardboard cutouts of himself (for tricking people), and disguises.

Patchy: Given how Courage is a skilled hypnotist, he keeps a yo-yo and pocket watch on him, but they function the same. By that, I mean whoever looks into either of them will instantly be hypnotized! Courage can then make any of his targets fall under his commands or look into their past lives. His hypnotism has been effective enough to stop the entire town of Nowhere from eating flan.

Potty: They can even be used to turn people into small, weak animals!


Patchy: Up next is a ray gun he stole from an alien chicken. It shoots out energy beams, but not just any ordinary beam - anything that it hits will instantly turn into an inanimate object!

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Potty: Courage has an industrial-sized vacuum that he invented to clean up large loads of RWBY- oops, I mean filth.

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Patchy: The vacuum is strong enough to suck the Statue of Liberty all the way to Nowhere. Since Nowhere is in Kansas, this is a distance of 1193.3 miles. Since it took five seconds, this means Courage's vacuum can go at 384086.039 m/s! Also, the Statue of Liberty weighs 450,000 pounds, so in other words, Courage's vacuum can easily suck in and contain objects weighing THAT much.

Potty: The God Bone is a colossal bone that Courage used to fight a group of skeletons, he has paintings that he can drop on opponents to suck them into said paintings, and he's got another thing called Instant Quicksand, which is exactly what the name says.

Patchy: And with Instant Eels, he pours dehydrated eggs into any body of water. These eels are powerful enough to attack Eustace, and may I remind you the newly-hatched eels will always be adults?


Potty: Happy Plums were cooked by Muriel, and they can be fed to opponents by flinging them into their mouths. They are so good that they turned a raging beast into a crybaby, and it undid the effects of Dr. Zalost's cannonballs, which turns anybody depressed!


Patchy: Courage has a trustworthy plunger gun that he found while digging. How does it work? Think of it like a grappling hook, except instead of a hook, it's a small plunger.

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Potty: Courage has used it to latch onto objects and reel them in, and as you can see, it's strong enough to support Muriel.

Patchy: The Kangaroo Monster Bone Fragment will turn Courage into the extinct kangaroo monster once inserted into his body. He can do this by literally hammering it into himself with a mallet.


Potty: Courage's Kangaroo Monster form is as big as a skyscraper, and it greatly increases his strength! He can carry people in his pouch and pull out croissants that are so delicious people will become distracted, eat it, and want more.

Patchy: And last but not least, there's an offbrand Thanos- oops, I mean, the Magic Tree of Nowhere.


Potty: This purple tree can grant any wish or desire; when Muriel wished for a new oven, it immediately appeared. when Courage wished for a new construction vehicle, it popped up too. Later, Muriel wanted her and Courage to see a movie, which suddenly caused a projector to form out of the tree's branches.

Patchy: You may be thinking, "How the hell would Courage use a tree in a fight?". Well, at both the beginning of the titular episode, it sprouted to life after being planted through seeds. At the end, the seeds were still intact. So Courage could potentially take out the seeds, water them, and voila.

Potty: However, while Courage is undoubtedly stronger than he looks, he doesn't come without flaws. Of course, his most obvious weakness is that he's cowardly. He tends to panic and run at first, although this may not mean much considering he'll always conquer his fears for the sake of Muriel.

Patchy: Performing his Super Scream will render him weary, he can get distracted by dog whistles, and most of all, he is very selfless, as he's usually willing to save Muriel's life with little to no regard for his own well-being.

Potty: So although it's no secret Courage lives up to the show's name by being a coward, he always manages to save the day from all sorts of supernatural threats regardless, and thinking of him as a "stupid dog" might just end up in your own demise.

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Courage: But I don't wanna sleep in the attic! I'm telling you, there's someone in here, or my name is Shirley! ...and it's not.


Potty: Alright, the combatants are set. You should all know where this is going.

Patchy: Shiver me timbers, it's time for a Death Battle!



"Ah, ze beautiful sunset view of Bikini Botto- Wait a minute..." the French Narrator opened the battle with before correcting himself. But that didn't stop the camera from focusing on a panning shot of the sky, which was colored with bright tones of purple and orange. "That's better - took me a while to find the correct script." He cleared his throat. "Ah, ze beautiful sunset view of Nowhere, Kansas; home to the world's only pink dog, Courage" he continued as the camera went downwards to a familiar farmhouse.

"Nowhere is also home to all sorts of supernatural phenomena in every nook and cranny," the French Narrator described. "So let's see what the cowardly canine will embark himself into today. Yes, of course he lives in a farmhouse, you silly."


In the living room of the residence, it was a rather normal day. Courage was assisting his owner, Muriel Bagge, in the kitchen, who was preparing dinner, while Muriel's husband, Eustace, was contributing to absolutely nothing by reading the newspaper - which was normal for him.

"Sheesh, the newspaper is all the same," Eustace grumbled. "'Global warming shuts down Winter Olympics', 'Measuring with feet could lead to foot fungus', 'Saying video games cause violence will make you dumber'...it's boring! So hurry up with that grub, Muriel!"

"It's almost ready, Eustace," Muriel politely reminded him, completely oblivious to his aggressiveness. "First, I just need two cups of warm water." Muriel grabbed a cup and tried to turn on the sink, until it turned out water wasn't coming out. "That's odd. I thought we had the pipes checked yesterday. Courage, do you think you could go outside and pump the water well?"

Courage nodded and went on his way outside to follow her order. Something was quite off, though; Muriel was right about the pipes being checked the day before, and droughts were unheard of at this time of the year. It had also been too quiet around the farm recently, so a catastrophe was bound to happen any minute now.

He approached the water well and attempted to twist the pump as hard as he could. Nothing happened. He tried harder until his arms popped off of his body. Still nothing.

His arms reattached them to their original positions, and Courage scratched his head in confusion, wondering what the source of the problem could be.


Suddenly, his ears perked up once he could hear something - or someone - squeezing through the pipes. Courage backed away by a few feet and observed the well with wide-open eyes.

Half of a yellow rectangular body with olive green pores emerged from the top of the drain. It sprung out arms and tried harder to push itself out. The thing dropped to the ground, and it turned out to be a buck-toothed, brown-pants-sporting sponge you should all know: SpongeBob SquarePants. "Phew! I never thought Squidward would have flushed me down the toilet."

SpongeBob looked up to notice Courage, who was now bestowed at the sight. "Hello there! My name is SpongeBob SquarePants." The next thing SpongeBob looked at was his surroundings. "I've never been around this area before. Do you know any directions back to Bikini Bottom?"

At first, there was silence, until...


SpongeBob covered his non-existent ears, and then he chuckled. "That's a foreign way to greet someone, but okay." Now it was his turn to scream. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"


They continued screaming at each other until Courage ran back into the house within the blink of an eye, and he slammed the door shut. "What seems to be the matter, Courage?" Muriel asked. Courage blabbered incoherently at his owners and shapeshifted into SpongeBob's exact shape while trying to explain what went on outside. Muriel and Eustace stared at each other, and Eustace stood up from his chair. "You stupid dog, I'm sure it was nothin'." He went for the door to open it, and Courage tried to drag him away from it. "NO!"

Eustace opened the door. At first, he didn't see anything, until he looked down and saw SpongeBob, who was about to say the same thing he told Courage. "Hello there! My name is SpongeBob SquarePa-"


"That's it! I'm gettin' me mallet!" Eustace announced. In a panic, Courage carried Muriel and sent her outside, where he hailed a taxi that was heading to "A Place Far Away from Here", and he put her in the back side. After the taxi sped away, Courage closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was going to have to directly deal with the peculiar sponge; he is trespassing on private property after all.


SpongeBob was sitting on the porch's steps, until Courage loudly kicked the door off its hinges, carrying two briefcases. He marched in front of SpongeBob and set the briefcases down before pointing to the left. "You want me to leave? Well, I, uh...sort of can't. I don't know my way out of here."

Taking this as a challenge, Courage gave SpongeBob a harsh bite on his arm. "YOUCH!" SpongeBob shouted. He shook Courage to get him off, but it was no use. Finally, he kicked him off and saw that Courage bit his arm apart. Fortunately, SpongeBob grew a new one thanks to his spongy body, but it didn't stop him from narrowing his eyelids at Courage. "You picked the wrong sponge to mess with, mister!" he said as he started to don his karate gear.

Courage sighed and stared at the audience to say one more thing before they could start fighting. "I know I'm not gonna like this."



SpongeBob and Courage charged at each other without any hesitation, with SpongeBob releasing his classic war cry, lolling his tongue out. "LULULULULULULU!" Both had their fists drawn back, and they smacked each other at the exact same time. SpongeBob's fist dug into Courage's nose, which pushed it deep into his skin, while Courage's hit went straight into SpongeBob's eyes, producing a squeak. They both collided, and they were sent flying backwards as a result. In terms of how they reacted to their punches, the difference was like day and night: Courage yelped in pain, and SpongeBob...laughed?!

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That tickles!"

Raising an eyebrow, Courage lunged at him and released a flurry of harder punches, but this only caused SpongeBob's laughter to grow louder. Courage covered his ears as tears rolled down from SpongeBob's eyes. My god, he never thought he would ever hear anything so obnoxious! Courage wasn't a dog of many words, but he did shout out something. "Make it stop! Make it stop!"

SpongeBob eventually stopped laughing. Noticing his opponent was distracted from the horrible sounds of his laughter, he knew it was the perfect opportunity to overwhelm him. SpongeBob delivered a harsh karate chop to the back of Courage's head. "Ouch!" Courage exclaimed as the force of the attack made him crash into the living room. Inside, Eustace had finally found his mallet, and he warmed himself up as he advanced towards Courage. "Alright, stupid dog, you ought to show me where this sponge is!"

At perfect timing, SpongeBob kicked through the window like a generic action movie protagonist, but he was fully unaware Eustace was there, so because of that, he accidentally crashed into him like a bowling pin. Eustace screamed, and he landed inside of the oven. Since the oven was still on, it exploded, and Eustace flew high into the sky, with one last thing to say.


The force of the explosion had sent Eustace all the way to Japan, where the military was trying to fight off Godzilla with swarms of machine gun bullets. Fortunately, the day was saved once Eustace roughly landed on him, which blew Godzilla up into a gory mess. The soldiers stopped firing, and they cheered. "Guys, guys," one soldier bragged to his friends. "I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think that was me."

Back in Nowhere, the sponge and canine looked up at the sky before exchanging scowls at each other, and they returned to fighting within a second. Courage struck harder than before with an uppercut. SpongeBob dropped to the floor, but he wasn't going to go down. "You made a fatal mistake messing with a master of kah-rah-tay!" he warned. He aimed for a kick, only for Courage to pull a swift backwards roll. Bad mistake; SpongeBob inexplicably teleported right behind him and quite literally absorbed Courage.

Courage screamed once he got stuck inside SpongeBob's stomach. He desperately pounded against his inner skin until a hole was made, so he crawled his way out. While Courage was in there, SpongeBob had covered the area where his ears would be due to Courage's screaming. "Ow! And I thought my laughs were loud!" Oh well, a little self-awareness never hurts. When his "ears" stopped ringing, SpongeBob stretched his arms around Courage and repeatedly slapped him, until Courage stretched his as well.

They grabbed each other by the neck, and were somehow thinking the same thing: rip this bitch apart. They stared at each other angrily and mercilessly tore each other to tiny shreds until their hands were torn with them. From there, whatever was left of their bodies just stood on the ground, reduced to bits.

Suddenly, they started reforming themselves at a rapid pace. Courage restored almost all of his body, but his legs were gone - at least until it turned out they were running away. Courage hopped onto his legs to retrieve them, while SpongeBob's bits jumbled together into squares. All of the squares ended up turning into multiple SpongeBobs! "They say two's a company, and three's a crowd - well, let's see you try ten!" all of the SpongeBobs told Courage. The pink dog yelped in fear as they all rushed towards him. Courage screamed bloody murder. His first instinct was to run out of the farmhouse and think of a solution. "Oh no! What do I do?! What do I do?!" the pink dog frantically asked himself as he was booking it. Merely a second later, he morphed into the shape of a light bulb. "I got it!"

If he was outnumbered, he was going to have to do something desperate. He jumped onto the roof of the house and inhaled.


From faraway and nearby distances, several dogs of all sorts perked their ears up. "Courage needs help!" a pit bull said, rushing into the scene with an army of other dogs. "Fellow dogs, unite!" Courage announced. "These sponges will stop at nothing! They might go after your doghouses next! So, my friends...FETCH!"

Following Courage's orders, the swarm of dogs went straight for SpongeBob and his clones, biting into them one-by-one. The clones screamed and tried to fight off the dogs, but it was no use. None of the dogs stopped attacking until all of SpongeBob and his duplicates were nothing more than piles of goo. They looked at their handiwork and went their separate ways, leaving Courage by himself. Courage let out a sigh of relief and jumped down to enter the house.

However, that wasn't the end for Nickelodeon's mascot. The puddles of SpongeBob and his clones merged into one to regenerate the real SpongeBob, who was now holding his trustworthy spatula. "Not again!" Courage exclaimed. The enthusiastic fry cook leaped into the air and was going to slash Courage across the chest, but the loyal dog pulled a sword out of his non-existent pockets and blocked the incoming spatula. SpongeBob became shocked. "Heh...well, they always say the swordfish is mightier than the pen, right?" he nervously asked. "Or something like that."

They engaged into a duel, dragging on long enough for them to crash through the house's front door, but they could've cared less. It seemed as if the duel would go on forever, until they created an equal force that split both of their weapons in half. SpongeBob gasped, and tears started to dwell in his eyes. "Spat! No! You were so young!" he sobbed. As SpongeBob was busy crying, Courage handed him pie. SpongeBob looked up, but he wasn't going to accept it right away. "Wait, weren't we just fighting?" he asked. Courage didn't answer, and he continued holding the pie. "Well, if it's an apology gift and a way of cheering me up, I can't ever say no to pie!" SpongeBob giddily said. He grabbed it and ate it in one bite.


The explosion burnt SpongeBob down to his skeleton, only for his skin to spontaneously sprout back, and he was angrier than before. He morphed himself into the shape of a boxing glove. Courage knew what was going to happen if he didn't retaliate, so he morphed himself as well, albeit into a nail bat. This was when they really acknowledged this fight wasn't going to be a walk in the park. "Whoa! You can shapeshift too?!" SpongeBob asked in both shock and amazement. Courage nodded. SpongeBob turned into a cannon, and he fired a cannonball, but Courage responded to this by turning into a high-powered fan, which made SpongeBob's attack backfire - literally.

The smoke cleared off, and SpongeBob dusted off the ashes that were on him. "You want a real challenge? Check out my bubble-blowing techniques!" He took out his bubble container and dipped the wand into the soapy water. Courage was confused and wondered what harm a bubble would do outside of getting in his eyes, but he did step back, just in case. He was right to have done that, because SpongeBob blew a bubble bomb! Courage screamed so loudly that SpongeBob's bubble wand produced a much bigger bubble. It was a bubble that eclipsed over the farmhouse and encased it, taking it into the sky!

It was bad timing to have blown that bubble bomb, because they started to realize the house was now in midair upon glancing at the window. If it exploded, and it sent the house down, things obviously weren't going to end well. "Whatever you do, don't make any sudden movements..." SpongeBob whispered. The bubble bomb only came closer to them.


The house harshly fell to the ground, but each part of the house stacked back onto each other perfectly in a cartoony manner. SpongeBob ended up landing in the chimney, where there was fire. "AAAAAHHHHH!!! I'M ON FIRE!!!" he shouted. The buck-toothed sponge quickly ran to the kitchen sink to extinguish himself. Meanwhile, Courage landed on the couch, bouncing off of it and then plopping down on the ground. SpongeBob walked back into the living room, having absorbed a lot of the sink's tap water. "It's time to 'clean up your act'!" he said, cracking an awful pun. SpongeBob spewed out water in Courage's direction, who screamed...

...but since he had his mouth open, the water went straight into it! Courage redirected the water at SpongeBob, but the fry cook just absorbed it back in. SpongeBob spat the water back out at Courage, but this only started a nigh-endless chain of the cowards redirecting the water back at each other. But it did end when SpongeBob jumped out of the way and took out the one and only Ol' Reliable. Courage yelped in fear and tried to dodge SpongeBob swinging the net at him, but it was too late, he got caught.

"A-ha! I have you now!" SpongeBob exclaimed. "I knew I could count on you, Ol' Reliable." Suddenly, Courage melted himself into a puddle to escape from the net. SpongeBob became shocked at the sight of this, but then he slipped on the liquefied Courage and fell. While SpongeBob was down, Courage ran up to a painting mounted on the wall and dropped it on SpongeBob, which sucked him into the painting!


"Gah! Where am I?" SpongeBob looked at his surroundings before looking his other way, and he realized he was now stuck in a painting. "Oh Neptune, this is bad! So very, very bad! How can I get out?!" Panicking, he hyperventilated and ran in circles. "I'm never gonna get out of here! I'm only gonna escape if I somehow had a magic pencil in my possessi-" He stopped running. "Wait a minute."


One Minute Later...


SpongeBob emerged out of the painting, holding the Magic Pencil in his hands, much to Courage's shock. The not-so stupid dog watched in cautiousness as SpongeBob started to draw something with the pencil. He drew swarms of jellyfish, who all turned their attention to Courage. The pink canine stared at the camera and held out a small sign reading "YIKES!". He followed his natural instincts by running away, but all the jellyfish caught up and zapped him. In fact, his screams might have been louder than the zaps.


Next Time


  • The connections between SpongeBob and Courage are that both are titular, anthropomorphic protagonists from surreal and iconic 1999 cartoons who have repeatedly shown they are annoyingly difficult to kill due to their extreme regenerative capabilities and massive pain tolerance, and they regularly use their malleable bodies to their advantage in combat. They are very cowardly, but make up for it by being clever fighters and managing to save the day from all sorts of threats on an everyday basis for the sake of what they love most (The Krusty Krab for SpongeBob, and Muriel for Courage). They have loud gestures relating to their own voices (laughing for SpongeBob, and screaming for Courage) that have been used to defeat some of their enemies. They are accompanied by a large, well-meaning, unintelligent loved one who continuously find themselves in trouble from their idiotic decisions (Patrick and Muriel), followed by an arrogant, selfish, greedy, and bald person (Squidward and Eustace) who treasure their trademark items (clarinet for Squidward, baseball cap for Eustace) and always get their comeuppance by the end of the episode. Said egotists also call the protagonists harsh names (Squidward calls SpongeBob a "moron" the most, while Eustace calls Courage a "stupid dog").
    • Also, they're both commonly involved in horrible stomp matches against Gumball, where Gumball loses.
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