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Splinter vs Shifu
Splinter VS Shifu
Season 1, Episode 6
Vital statistics
Air date February 13, 2015
Written by Awesome Betterhero
Directed by Awesome Betterhero
Episode guide
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Splinter vs Shifu is a What-If? episode of Death Battle.

Description[]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs Kung Fu Panda! Battle of the martial arts masters of powerful students. Who has better techniques?

Interlude[]

Wiz: When it comes to martial arts, there are strong students.

Boomstick: And there are powerful masters of those students.

Wiz: These masters are often elderly animals using ninjutsu or kung fu.

Boomstick: Like Splinter, master of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Wiz: And Shifu, master of the Furious Five.

Boomstick: He's Wizard, and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Master Splinter[]

Wiz: Hamato Yoshi was the strong leader of a ninja clan in Japan.

Boomstick: But one of his students challenged him to a fight over and over and over again, eventually banishing Yoshi from the clan. In poverty, Yoshi flutter jumped to America...

Wiz: Not that Yoshi!

Boomstick: ...where he was affiliated with four turtles that were dumped into toxic waste.

Wiz: Yoshi then became a mutant himself. A mutant rat, occurring from his constant contact with them.

Boomstick: You can become a mutant animal through constant contact? Someone get me a wolverine.

Wiz: Hamato Yoshi had become the master known as Splinter.

Boomstick: Splinter went on to teach the turtles everything they know about ninjutsu. From the epic Bo staffs, to the awesome sais.

Wiz: Splinter is a very strong, capable, and proficient ninjutsu master, despite his age. He is fueled by the action of teaching his students his ninjutsu, drawing power.

Boomstick: Splinter is an agile character, possessing fierce moves and high jumping. But his ninjutsu isn't the only thing that's strong.

Wiz: The rat's mind was resistant to a form of hypnosis from the Rat King.

Boomstick: He is a great thinker, and could predict moves in a telepathy-esque sort. He can also use a fighting style where he burrows in the ground. Digging combat. Nice.

Wiz: As equipment, Splinter will often use his walking stick, or a walking cane, as his weapon. There is even a sword cane involved in here.

Boomstick: A pizza power-up can also give the mutant a chance to heal.

Wiz: Some of Splinter's other weapons include ninja stars and a ninja bow. He can use these projectiles to hit those very, very far away from him.

Boomstick: His next set of weapons is a lantern to blind foes with, and a ninja knife. And after that, we've got a Mega Mutant Mace and a Lizard Lashin' Spear. Are we done with the weapons yet, Wizard?

Wiz: You just named the last set. Actually, not really.

Boomstick: Wait, what?

Wiz: Really, anything can be a weapon for Splinter. Hands, feet, tail, anything!

Boomstick: This guy seems limitless with the weapons.

Wiz: True. He can creepily crawl and slide across floors, using his tail as a radar to detect anything he needs to find.

Boomstick: Splinter has close-range, mid-range, and long-range fighting on his side. So no matter where you are, he's gonna get you.

Wiz: Splinter has defeated the Rat King using only two fingers.

Boomstick: He knows many forms of defense, making him hard to catch or touch.

Wiz: He has even destroyed a blade using his teeth.

Boomstick: And when he gets on all fours, he receives a great speed boost.

Splinter: You took everything that I loved. Everything! And still you hunt me down! So... I fight you now... to end this!

Master Shifu[]

Wiz: When Shifu was young, he was located at the Jade Palace, where he was trained by the master Oogway.

Boomstick: He served as one of the original Furious Five, learning the art of kung fu.

Wiz: But after Oogway made his departure from the world, it was Shifu's job to lead the next Furious Five, as well as the Dragon Warrior, Po.

Boomstick: Shifu is a powerhouse of a martial artist. He is great at training, and gives his best, exerting all his strength.

Wiz: He's focused and precise as well.

Boomstick: His signature move is the Wuxi Finger Hold. It may sound as weak as Wiz over here, but it releases massive waves of energy, all by pinching the opponent's finger and flexing the pinky. That's just broken.

Wiz: Shifu's huge ears grant him superhuman hearing, able to hear that that is a long distance from him. One of his techniques involve leaping to rapidly kick the opponent, flinging them away.

Boomstick: The nerve attack, performed by jabbing the opponent's pressure points, can paralyze them, blocking the person's chi and disabling them for a powerful follow-up attack. Can you count the number of "P" words in that last sentence? Performed, pressure, points, paralyze...

Wiz: Another method of paralyzation that Shifu has been shown to use is the Chao Wa Punch Kick. It's performed by assaulting the side of the victim, and somehow getting them to ignore gravity. They can only be moved by the intention of others, but not them themself.

Boomstick: The Chao Wa Punch Kick lasts for a longer period of time than the nerve attack. It's been seen paralyzing a boar to the point where they were forever immobilized until fixed by the mobilization gas of a crazy mastermind. Imagine being immobilized. Just hanging around, doing nothing, regretting the bank robbing you did just the other day...

Wiz: The Golden Lotus Clap is a kung fu technique with a wide range. It can induce blindness in an enemy, undone by another Golden Lotus Clap.

Boomstick: In the Jade Palace, there is a wide variety of mystical weapons. An orb of intangibility, crowns of invisibility, an epic-looking shield of gold.

Wiz: And in this Death Battle, Shifu will use fans.

Boomstick: Fans? This can't be right. What about the Mongolian Fist Demon Jar? The Jade Orb of Infinite Power? He's gotta use infinite power.

Wiz: Shifu can use fans to throw as sharp weapons, or to hold in his hands for melee combat.

Boomstick: Oh, whatever. I just thought he'd need something awesome to make up for the time he got beat by a girl.

Wiz: That is true, Boomstick. Shifu was once beaten by his wife. He also struggles with the "illusion of control".

Boomstick: However, he's still an epic kung fu master of a red panda.

Shifu, holding Po in the Wuxi Finger Hold: You know the hardest part of this? The hardest part... is cleaning up afterwards.

DEATH BATTLE![]

Awesome Betterhero[]

The Furious Five and Po are training when Shifu walks into the room.

Shifu: We've got a little problem.

Shifu, the Furious Five, and Po make their way to a sewer that smells horrible, depicted by a waving green stench. The kung fu animals kick open the manhole and jump inside, only to find the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles having a pizza party.

Splinter: Turtles, attack!

The TMNT leap at Shifu's students in an attack.

Shifu: You know, there's only one way to settle this.

Splinter: I couldn't agree more.

FIGHT!

Splinter dashed towards Shifu and leapt up, performing a spinning tail whip. The rat pounced and attempted to attack with his claws, missing by a hair. Shifu capitalized on the mistake by kicking Splinter up, his head crashing into the top of the sewer. When the mutant fell, Shifu grabbed him and threw him backward. Shifu leaped forward, and was greeted by a sword cane in a slash.

Splinter slashed Shifu thrice more, with the third slash missing as the red panda got up and pulled out a pair of fans. Shifu did a double slashing attack utilizing his fans, and hopped to avoid a low sword slash. Splinter burrowed into the ground, creating a hole. Confused, Shifu looked around, and was smashed by the end of Splinter's cane, emerging from the ground along with its owner.

Shifu was knocked upward. Splinter jumped high to meet him, and was rapidly kicked, being flung away to the entrance/exit to the sewer. He grabbed the edge, and when Shifu tried to perform a flying kick, Splinter bit his foot.

Shifu: Ah!

Splinter threw his opponent above the sewer, sending him crashing and landing on his foot, inflicting more pain on what was already broken. The mutant rat climbed to his enemy's level, and Shifu slowly stood and prepared an attack. He chose to utilize the Chao Wa Punch Kick technique, which ultimately failed when Splinter predicted the attack, and knocked Shifu back with his Mega Mutant Mace. After firing a pair of arrows from his bow, Splinter got on all fours and dashed with great speed.

Shifu landed in a tree near the Jade Palace. He heard Splinter coming for him, and used the Golden Lotus Clap to emit a long-ranged yellow wave that reached Splinter, blinding him.

Splinter: No! I can't see!

Shifu hopped down from his tree and dashed toward the mutant rat. However, with his broken foot, he tripped over a log, stumbling and falling. Splinter catches up to Shifu, but is a yard off to the right.

Splinter: Blinding, huh? Two can play at that game!

Splinter held up his lantern and, unaware of Shifu's location, shone it all around. He eventually succeeded in blinding Shifu.

Shifu: Where did you go?

Splinter hopped high into the air and tossed ninja stars in each direction, hitting Shifu with four. Shifu stood and listened for Splinter's location. While falling, Splinter detected Shifu's location with his tail, and smashed Shifu using the mace. Shifu stuck out a fan at either side and spun, slashing Splinter with one fan, before the other was dodged.

Splinter slashed with his claw. He slashed as many times as possible before Shifu was able to grab the rat's finger. Splinter predicted the move, and impaled Shifu with the Lizard Lashin' Spear.

KO!

Conclusion[]

Boomstick: Now just how did Splinter win this blindness battle?

Wiz: Shifu is a kung fu powerhouse that is capable of disabling his foes. However, Splinter has his own strengths.

Boomstick: Like his teeth, capable of destroying metal. Breaking Shifu's foot prevented him from using kick attacks.

Wiz: When both combatants were blinded, Splinter was better prepared for the situation. He could fight using anything he had out, and could predict Shifu's moves and detect him using his tail.

Boomstick: Being a master in any range of combat, Splinter could always adapt to the situation that Shifu had in store for him.

Wiz: And the Wuxi Finger Hold was difficult to use when blinded.

Boomstick: The winner is Splinter.

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