Spinal X May

Spinal X May
Season 4, Episode 3
Vital statistics
Air date
Written by	BMHKain
Directed by	BMHKain
Episode guide
Previous	Next
Bill Rizer & Lance Bean X Gunstars Red & Blue	Alundra X Link

• BMHKain
• DoomFest
• McGasher

1/3

Spinal X May is a What If? Episode of DEATH BATTLE.

Description

KILLER INSTINCT X GUILTY GEAR! West vs East!! Two differing Pirates from two completely differing universes ask the question, which series is the most hardcore, KILLER INSTINCT of the West, or GUILTY GEAR of the East?

Interlude

Wiz: When it comes to the Ninja's greatest rival in the media, these two are among the most hardcore.

Boomstick: I bet if she loses, that skeleton thing is gonna fail to have his baby!

Wiz: That sounded wrong on so many levels. Ugh... Anyway, Spinal, the Skeleton pirate of KILLER INSTINCT.

Boomstick: And May, high ranking member of the Jellyfish Pirates, and is in love with- , Wiz: Johnny, May actually doesn't want anyone else.

Boomstick: But look at her, Wiz! She's Voluptuous, cute, and-

Wiz: Oh shut up, Boomstick. I'm Wizard, & you obviously know Boomstick, & It's our Job to analyze their Weapons, Armor, & Skills to find out who would win... A DEATH BATTLE.

Boomstick: WOO HOO!!!

Wiz: We'll just get this over with whether Boomstick likes it or not.

Spinal

Wiz: ULTRATECH has been known for many powerful beings. Like Fulgore.

Boomstick: Cinder.

Wiz: Spinal.

Boomstick: &- (Record Scratches) WHAT!? Spinal is no ULTRATECH member! He's just a pirate abomination!

Wiz: Well... He WAS a member of ULTRATECH, was killed afterwards. Was brought back to life by Gargos (Who he hated despite his loyalty.), and was resurrected a third time. Clearly the Skeletal Pirate can't seem to choose between the side of Neutrality, or Evil.

Boomstick: During his time in ULTRATECH, he is forced to be used like Riptor, & Fulgore; like experiments for the KILLER INSTINCT tournaments.

Wiz: Unlike those two, Spinal is merely a skeletal entity without a Brain, yet he seems to be able to remember what happened when he was alive, as Spinal is technically dead. He just has an artificial life force of some kind to sustain life as an undead.

Boomstick: But after Eyedol's murder, by that point, Spinal is already Dead... UNTIL...

Wiz: Gargos resurrected everyone's favorite Skeletal Pirate, but was forced to live with Gargos ordering him around, and failing at a high percentage. Spinal wanted ULTRATECH back...

Boomstick: Eventually Spinal got murdered again, and Gargos was sent to Hell!

Wiz: But Spinal came back once more from the Mask of the Ancients-

Boomstick: Which caused LOTSA debate as to what really brought Spinal to life!

Wiz: But We'd rather show his moves for now...

Boomstick: Spinal has quite a few tricks! Skull Mechanic allows Spinal to gain up to 5 skulls that hover above him by hitting his opponents with some variations of Searing Skull, throws, Spectral Manuals, or by absorbing attacks with Power Devour. These skulls can then be applied onto certain attacks to change their properties. Spinal can also use these skulls as projectiles that curse his opponent and steal their Instinct Meter or Shadow Meter while the curse is active. These curses can stack and Spinal can drain meter faster with extra stacks. If he gets hit while there is a curse active, it is removed.

Wiz: His Instinct Mode - Searing Skulls: immediately gains the maximum amount of skulls with a new skull regenerating every two seconds during the duration of the Instinct Mode. In addition, the drain from curses is increased and Spinal gains additional frame advantage on some attacks. By using the Instinct Meter drain curse, he can extend the time that his own Instinct can last.

Boomstick: Dive Kick (Not to be confused with the crappy fighter of the same name...) let's Spinal cancel his aerial motion into a fixed-angle divekick at his opponent. It Ground-bounces on hit.

Wiz: Power Devour let's Spinal hold his shield out in a defensive stance that absorbs any special or shadow attack that hits it. Gains one skull stock per attack absorbed.

Boomstick: Shield Crush is a Standing overhead attack.

Wiz: Bone Runner lets Spinal sustain a run instead of a forward dash.

Boomstick: Throw Forward lets Spinal summon a spectral skeletal arm from the ground to grab his opponent, drains a skull stock out of them, then throws them to the ground. OW.

Wiz: Throw Backward lets Spinal summons a spectral skeletal arm from the ground to grab his opponent, drains a skull stock out of them, then throws them to the ground behind him.

Boomstick But that's not all yet, folks! We have more than this! Searing Skull (Spectral) lets Spinal emits a short-range green skull that hits mid. It grants one skull stock on hit. BOOM!

Wiz: Searing Skull with Skull lets Spinal fire a blue skull projectile that curses the opponent's Shadow meter on hit. It can travel horizontally and hits low, horizontally and hits mid, or vertically up off the screen from Spinal and comes down on the opponent's last location at time of firing, hitting high. It Consumes one skull stock on use.

Boomstick: With Boneshaker, Spinal executes a dashing shield bash towards his opponent. Stronger kicks give slightly more range but less frame advantage.

Wiz: Boneshaker with Skull is Similar to normal Boneshaker but is projectile-invincible.

Boomstick: Soul Sword allows Spinal to swing his sword once in a wide upwards arc in front of himself. Upper-body invincible. It is also a launcher.

Wiz: With Soul Sword with Skull, Spinal swings his sword upwards twice, launching his opponent on the first hit and juggle-launching them on the second. Consumes one skull stock.

Boomstick: Skeleport lets Spinal sinks into the ground and rises at a different point on the stage depending on the strength of kick; either in front of his opponent a short distance away, at the edge of Boneshaker's range, directly in front of his opponent, within throw range, or directly behind his opponent, within throw range.

Wiz: With Skeleport with Skull, Spinal sinks into the ground and rises directly behind his opponent. He can cancel his rising animation into a special or shadow move at the cost of one skull stock. He doesn't consume any skulls if he doesn't cancel the Skeleport animation.

Boomstick: But it's his Shadow Moves that make Spinal such a-

Some random Goat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Wiz: Shadow Boneshaker allows Spinal to dash forward with his shield for 5 hits. Projectile invulnerable.

Boomstick: Shadow Soul Sword wheels his sword at his opponent for 5 hits. Launches, upper-body invulnerable.

Wiz: Shadow Skeleport, Spinal teleports behind his opponent and deals 5 hits as he rises from the ground.

Boomstick: Shadow Searing Skull Does not require a skull stock to use. Spinal fires a large, 5-hit yellow skull projectile that hits mid and curses his opponent's Instinct meter.

Wiz: Don't let his fleshless appearance fool you; he can potentially take on Eyedol, Gargos, Shadow Jago, even ARIA; all four are immensely powerful foes.

Boomstick: His ability to screw with an opponent's meter makes him up there with OMEN as a dangerous threat!

Wiz: And yet, Spinal's ability to fight isn't as great as most of the cast;

Boomstick: Let alone his acting career, which went down the toilet just as quick!

Wiz: His hallucinations of his past seem to get the best of him, and isn't the best of ULTRATECH's forces...

Boomstick: But this skeletal monster has many tricks of the trade! He is merciless, and evil! I think a certain Loli Pirate should feel this skeleton's wrath!

(BAM!)

Wiz: Well that's stupid! Let's talk about his no mercies...

Boomstick: Spinal can force his foes into an endless hell, Slash, and stab, and force the only humiliation on his for Rareware could think of: Dancing...

Wiz: Any objections?

Star Search Announcer: 1 & 1/2 stars.

Wiz & Boomstick: THANK YOU!

Spinal: (Cackling...)

Announcer: ULTIMATE COMBO...!

May

Wiz: Japan. Sometime in the future, Monsters called Gears have taken over, and ANNIHILATITED the Archipelago; making a new image of their ordeals...

Boomstick: There weren't that many survivors, unfortunately. The bloodshed was so high even THAT killed victims! And while the likes of Baiken (Who lost an eye...), and Anji Mito, survived the carnage, one girl was PRACTICALLY defenseless!

Wiz: Meet May, or at least that is what we think her name is... No true info is known about her. She nearly died from the Gear invasion of Japan, and only her blood would've been six feet under if it weren't for a man named Johnny, who not only saved the then, anonymous girl's life, he renamed her "May" after the month of the same name, WITHOUT KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT HER.

Boomstick: She joined each and every conflict in GUILTY GEAR Canon, and that GIANT ANCHOR must do her good as she was kicking butt with ease!

Wiz: Not only is her small frame an understatement, she can lift this Anchor, which is clearly bigger than her, AND, she has her animal friends on her side.

Boomstick: WHAT!? Is this legal!?

Wiz: As a matter of fact, Yes! Her animal allies include multiple Dolphin like Porpoises, and...

(May summons a GIANT pink whale,)

Boomstick: HOLY SHIT! Talk about a guy's most embarrassing nightmare!

Wiz: Hell, she can do tricks with her Dolphins as part of her arsenal!

Boomstick: OK, I said this before, but now I'll confirm it; I'VE. SEEN. EVERYTHING.

Wiz: She can even summon an Orca, or Killer Whale, to assist her.

Boomstick: This chick is screwing with my HEAD!

Wiz: Thought THAT was weird? Her Anchor was devised to be a weird weapon! & she can use it in a wide variety of ways!

Boomstick: But the weirdest thing we've seen from this Anonymous Tipster is her signature ship, the Mayship! She can whack an opponent, unguarded, knock them out for a bit, and pretty much finish the foe off the moment they're hit. but it's when they get shot out of the cannon that the opponent is SCREWED! I mean, this is ridiculous enough, getting blown to bits by a cannon that shoots explosives, and shit like that, it's even worse that it causes instant death during Instant Kill Mode at ANY TIME! Oh, my...

Wiz: But it gets far worse from thereon... May has always wished to know her Japanese Heritage each time she meets Anji Mito, whom he REFUSES, as if this happens, May WILL be arrested by Japanese Authority.

Boomstick: Not a good way to go, BUT MAY PERSISTS!

Polygon Man: You persist! New challenges are to be arranged!

Wiz: Guilt ridden, May finally realized she wasn't as young as everyone thought. In fact, in Guilty Gear canon, she is currently 22 years old. Let's take a good look at her age in reverse until the first game in the whole franchise...

According to the Board of Wizdom: Although it's unclear when May was born, she stated she was at the delicate age of 22. Given Xrd takes place in 2187, we are going to map her current age with the birth year in which it happened. Since X, and the XX saga both took place in 2181, we can tell that by subtracting 2187 by 2181, to get the age of 15. Even crazier, in the first game, which took place one year earlier, she was 14, AND FRIGGEN LIFTING MORE THAN HER OWN WEIGHT. Subtract her age from the year the first GUILTY GEAR game took place, and you'll find out that she was only born in 2166.

Boomstick: WAIT! Is she young, or elderly?! Johnny looks like someone in his late thirties! and May is in love with him in a Lolita Complex relationship?!

Wiz: It's... Quite unknown if the two are even appropriately compatible. 14 years old at the beginning of the franchise in reality, would put Johnny on the Sex offender Registry, though since Xrd, this doesn't seem to be the case...

Boomstick: Her power is beyond that of a 22 yr. Old! Her leadership skills are grand, and when Johnny died, May became leader with honors!

Wiz: But her ability to lift an Anchor at age 14 isn't always impressive, and she has flaws of her own as well!

Boomstick: She can't seem to understand the politics of combat, and when she became Captain, she became more lonely.

Wiz: Her lust for Johnny seems to get the best of her. And it increased as the franchise went on...

Boomstick: But this spunky, 22 Aged, Anchor Wielding, Pink Whale Summoning, Dolphin Riding, Mayship Flying, Pirate Badass isn't going down without a fight! Arr!

May: Awesome!

Announcer: MAY, WIN, STRAIGHT!

DEATH BATTLE

May: Man... being directed to watch the Mayship for threats at this time...? I should be showing my spunk than th-

As May was entering the main bridge, she found her mates bleeding out. May, shocked to see her friends at death's door, found the perpetrator; a skeletal mass with no shame in murdering his adversary's mates, found their first mate, and cackled, knowing he found someone worthy of combat.

May: What are you doing here!? If you don't tell, I'm throwing YOU overboard like you killed my friends!

Spinal still cackled, and Skeleported behind May, attempting to slash May, but to no avail, as May's Giant Anchor blocked the attack.

May: (sigh...) Fine. Have it your way, creep!

FIGHT

May began by riding a Dolphin in the air. Spinal deflected this by countering with a shield rush. May then poked Spinal, then slammed him into the air. May then tried to follow suit, But three hits in...

1!

2!

3!

Announcer: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!

May was forced to the ground, hard. As May was trying to Get up, Spinal was already in front of her. He is ready for more blood, but the First Mate won't allow this...

May: You freakin rack of bones! eat m-

But before May could attack, a Skeletal arm came from below, and threw May behind Spinal, extracting a Skull for Spinal. As May got up, Spinal was charging at her. May then did a BURST counter to evade the attack. She then summoned her Giant Pink Whale, for the "Great Yamada Attack". Spinal's shield was unable to withstand the heavy weight of the pink whale's power. It collided with great strength, dealing immense damage. But, the bones simply Skeleported, and reformed... Spinal got his cutlass prepared, and swung 360 degrees, slashing May from behind. Spinal then summoned a skeletal arm and extracted a skull from May all while throwing her behind him. May rode a Dolphin and then did a combo. Despite Spinal Combo Breaking her, May got back on her dolphin, and did a Dead Angle Attack, sending Spinal flying, unable to Combo Break. May beat spinal crazy, and ultimately, used "Great Yamada Attack", cracking the skeleton apart again. May thought the fight was finished. But Spinal came back with his Instinct Mode activated.

Spinal laughed as he was draining meter from May via his 5 Skulls. A curse was occurring. May was about to finish off Spinal, and must now. She went into her INSTANT KILL MODE. As May's Meter was dwindling, Spinal was about to deliver the final blow, May slammed her anchor at Spinal, then, a Shun Goku Satsu esque effect while Spinal was stunned...

As Spinal woke up, he found that he was trapped in a cannon, only to be shot out of a cannon. He was nowhere to be found... It's last known location was a grove, somehow, still alive... Spinal was still wandering when May spotted him, shocked. It was now down to a battle of abilities; Swords, and Anchors don't matter anymore.

Spinal, going crazy again, rammed his shield at May, pushing her to a tree. As May got crushed, she did a Dead Angle Attack on Spinal, and did a lot of damage, even though Spinal Combo Broke the combo. He then tried to spin his arm to slash May, but she blocked, and finally broke his shield. By this point, both were spent, and May was breaking Spinal's sword, leaving him wide open. Spinal tried to block, but not only did his skull shatter, his forearms were fractured...

K.O.!

That was when Testament came out of the blue, and surprised May as he said:

Testament: Why did you let my lover fall prey to that traitor Ky Kiske?!

May: Hey, it wasn't my fault! I was just trying to contact the Mayship!

Testament: Does it look as if I care about such marauders?! You don't even have the right to redemption. DIE.

May: Bring it!

To be continued...

Results

Boomstick: Talk about a battle of Attriton!

Wiz: This was a surprisingly even fight... Both pirates can deal immense damage, have very useful tactics in combat, hell, even Spinal gave May a run for her money for a bit...

Boomstick: But May is a higher class pirate than Spinal, and according to non-video game media, stepped into Johnny's shoes when he died, and took the honor of being Captain of the Jellyfish Pirates!

Wiz: While at best Spinal can take out Eyedol, May, given the right requirement can solo Boss Order Sol with some effort. (BTW, Order Sol comes after I-NO if you solo arcade mode.)

Boomstick: AND THAT IS NOT EASY! Order Sol is full powered, AND can use even his One Hit K.O. at ANY TIME.

Wiz: Also, long before she is christened with the name "May", she was fighting Gears long since approx. 15 years prior to Xrd.

Boomstick: While Spinal had more flexiness due the lack of meat, that also counts as one of his biggest flaws! Hell, even Hollywood knew that!

Wiz: But what May's biggest strength of all just might be the most unusual of all fights: her will to win. She is a can do, will do first mate that will make sure the job is done no matter the predicament.

Boomstick: Freakin' cute 22 yr. old, and extremely kickass anchor! Now I feel-

Sol Badguy: Don't cry; that makes me feel "GUILTY". Leave... before I change my mind...

Boomstick: OH CRAP! Uh Wiz? could you, uh, finish this up?

Wiz: Hey! NOBODY tells me how to do my job! (sigh...) The winner is MAY!

Next Time

Boomstick: Next Time on DEATH BATTLE...

One of Nintendo's greatest protagonists EVER...

Might have met his match...

(Cues ALUNDRA - INTRO OST)

ALUNDRA...

Battle of the Creator X the Pretender...

COMING SOON!

BMHKain'sWhat-If? Death Battles
			}