Spider-Man vs The Scout is a Death Battle by The Irish VS Writer
Description[]
Season 1 Episode 9! Marvel vs Team Fortress 2! Two combatants in Red who have smart mouths will clash! Can Peter Parker bring the mercenary down or will the Scout squash the Spider?
Interlude[]
Wiz: Do you remember that kid in school, You know, That kid who has a mouth that is bigger than them and when you tried to him he'd just jump out of the way!
Boomstick: Yeah I remember, I hated him! Anyway, That reminds me of these two speedy, red-wearing smart arses who are on teams where the other members are stronger than them!
Wiz: Spider-Man - The Web-Slinging, Pride of Marvel Comics!
Boomstick: The Scout - TF2's Force of Nature! Now since this is the battle that our Writer wants to be official we will be laying out some specific rules!
Wiz: What we are doing today to make this stompy fight much fairer, Is that we will give Scout every weapon that he has got throughout the game, Every Unlock and every single weapon Jeremy has ever touched in his career.
Boomstick: So Scout will be getting stuff like The Spellbook and The Grappling Hook for example. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick...
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a... Death Battle.
Spider-Man[]
Wiz: Peter Parker really wasn't somebody you would expect to be a hero: He was wimpy and he was constantly bullied by the likes of Flash Thompson.
Boomstick: Day in day out. This little bitch was either shoved into his locker, Being pushed around the place, Tripped up and all the stereotypical sorts of shit you see all the time in all those shitty 90s movies your mom for some reason keeps watching with you!
Wiz: This lasted for years, But it all changed when on one fateful day, Peter and his class went on a field trip and he was bitten by a Radioactive Spider...
Boomstick: Yeah, Yeah we get it he became a wrestler, Uncle died blah blah, Great Power comes Great Responsibility blah blah you know how this shit goes.
Wiz: Many years have passed since Spider-Man swore to respect his Uncle Ben's memory, And Peter has changed from an inexperienced child to a fully grown man with a job, And he had even finally defeated many of New York's greatest villains like The Kingpin, Green Goblin and Venom.
Boomstick: And he hasn't been slouching for all those years and he's deffo gotten pretty damn good at fighting over that time!
Wiz: Spider-Man is really smart for a Teen his age and considered one of the smartest people in the Marvel Universe the same list that his Reed Richards, Victor Von Doom and Iron-Man, Hell he even disarmed a bomb that Reed Richards and Tony Stark couldn't.
Boomstick: Apparently he has an IQ of 250 which apparently is very impressive, But to me, it's just a number. What does it mean Wiz?
Wiz: A man by the name of Marilyn Vos Savant in the year 1984 scored an IQ of 228 Which means that Spider-Man has an IQ that is a little more than the smartest man in the world.
Boomstick: Damn so that means he is smarter than Stephen Hawkings and Albert Einstein? Shit. No wonder he is always welcome to be with The Avengers even though he's just a teenager, You know the team that has The Hulk and Thor in it!?
Wiz: That's mainly because of his skills in combat, He's been able to battle Daredevil to a standstill and even surpass him in some of their fights.
Boomstick: And Daredevil isn't some blind guy to laugh at, This guy is the same guy who is a master Boxer, And is a master of Pressure Point combat.
Wiz: Spider-Man just fight up close against his opponents, He usually blitzes his opponents with his Acrobatics and his immense Speed: As he usually manoeuvres through trap rooms with walls that burn someone touches them, And he can get around these with ease.
Boomstick: But even then he's a quick little fucker as he can dodge shots from Iron Man's repulsor blasts which are apparently as fast as light!
Wiz: Though most of Spider-Man's greatest speed feats thanks to the Spider-Sense. Which unlike what most people think it does, In fact, it allows him to see in all directions for any attacks or even poisons and if he's being betrayed, Which comes in the form of a tingle in his skull.
Boomstick: Hell, Spider-Man can even use this OP ability even when he is asleep or unconscious, Wait how does that work?
Wiz: Well, in my opinion, I think because the Spider-Sense causes sharp pain in the back of his head, Maybe that quick pain instantly wakes up Peter. It even alerts him when there is observers or cameras when he is changing costume!
Boomstick: Hot Damn! That Spidey Sense really must be a bitch when your fighting somebody, When he has made his own Martial Art: The Way of the Spider!
Wiz: This martial art uses his bullying experiences, his superhuman capabilities, his mastery of acrobatics, concepts from his training with Captain America and his training from Shang-Chi, This utilizes up close and personal combat, striking nerve clusters and pressure points with spider strength and spider speed, So basically don't laugh this off.
Boomstick: Yeah that's great and all but his best ability is easily The Mark of Kaine! where he uses his Wall Crawling to basically RIP THE FUCKING FACE OFF HIS OPPONENT!
Wiz: That's fucking disgusting! Em...yes Spider-Man does have all these powers but he wouldn't be who he was without his weapons such as his iconic Web Shooter, which as you can guess can shoot out Webs but he can use it more creatively as he has made weapons with his webs...
Boomstick: And he can tear large chunks out of the ground.
Wiz: He also has his Spider-Tracers which he uses to track down criminals if he gets the shit kicked out of him so he can chase these foes later.
Boomstick: But Spidey has his Spider-Armour Mark 4. Now, this thing is a beauty! Not only does it look more kick-ass than his original, But it also is bulletproof and laser proof to the point where they bounce right off him, And this thing has Concrete Webbing, Taser Webbing which he calls Bug Zappers and Expanding Web-Foam, webbing that becomes foam once it comes out of the web-cartridge.
Wiz: But even without his weaponry he is quite physically impressive: Peter is capable of lifting approximately 10 tons in his original body. He was formerly able to lift 15 tons after being mutated by the Queen, and then 20 tons during The Other event. After both mutations were undone as a result of Mephisto alteration of reality, Spider-Man's strength level has remained unspecified.
Boomstick: Yeah sure it hasn't! Like he's deffo lifted most of the fucking Daily Bugle, And remember the Daily Bugle is fucking massive, Take it away Wiz!
Wiz: Now in nearly every version of the Daily Bugle it is close in size to most skyscrapers, Now we should at least scale it to the Empire State Building which means Spider-Man can lift at most 365,000 Tons! That is about the weight of 1825 Whales!
Boomstick: And he even Dodged a shot aimed for his head at point blank, Now the gun in the scan looks like a Glock, which has a muzzle speed of about 1,200 feet per second.
Wiz: At what looks like 4 inches away, Spider-Man would need to react at speeds of over seventeen milliseconds to avoid getting hit which we got because Daredevil reacted to this same shot from a lot more distance between the gun than Spider-Man did.
Boomstick: But he's even tougher since he tanked hits from Ms Marvel, The Thing, and Iron Fist in a row. Iron Fist alone can severely damage the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier and destroy nuclear trains with his Chi-enhanced punches, Survived a building-busting explosion from near-point-blank range, Survived blows from Juggernaut, who can create magnitude 8 earthquakes with his bare fists and Didn’t flinch from punches to the face by Punisher, who can lift 400 pounds and knock out a polar bear in one hit.
Wiz: Despite his big mouth, Spider-Man does have his flaws. With enough danger, his Spider-Sense can cause extreme pain in his head to a point where he could be left open
Boomstick: And let's be honest, He has the worst luck in Comic Book History! Like it's insane!
Wiz: But one of his biggest weaknesses is pesticide ethyl chloride which if you don't know is a gas with a strong Ether-like odour which may be present as a cold liquid under pressure, Which he got thanks to his Spider-Powers for some reason.
Boomstick: Even with all this, With a team of gods, large green monsters who can lift up entire Buildings and Russian Spies who are like James Bond. For the Avengers to call a kid from Brooklyn to help them, It truly shows just how skilled and respected Spider-Man is in the Super-Human Community!
(Captain America and his team look up to see Spider-Man flipping over them before he landed)
Spider-Man: Hey Everyone!
The Scout[]
(Faster Than A Speeding Bullet)
Wiz: The year was 1850 and the wealthy landowner Zephaniah Mann passed away and he handed over his land in New Mexico to his two sons Redmond Mann and Blutarch Mann.
Boomstick: As brothers do, The two men argued over who owned the land and they decided to do the most reasonable option...To hire nine mercenaries and had them battle over and over again, These guys have the right idea!
Wiz: Don't listen to Boomstick he is a madman, Anyway, This started the war called: The Gravel Wars! Each Mercenary had their own expertise, The Sniper shot down his foes from quite a bit away, The Engineer built machines used to shoot down any fool who tried to challenge him!
Boomstick: The Heavy fucked up people with the biggest gun I have ever seen! Damn, I love this guy's style. And Pyro...
(Pyro burns Sniper's face off)
Boomstick: Yeah...that...
Wiz: But even with all of these foes, One of the most fearful classes in the team is just a lanky man who runs around the place swinging a Baseball bat: His name, The Scout!
Boomstick: Born in Boston Massachusetts, Jeremy was the youngest and runt of his eight siblings. Sadly, for him, Jeremy didn't ever make it to the fight as he was way...too slow!
Wiz: Yes his name is Jeremy! And so he decided to run and run and run! Everywhere he went, He ran! And soon not only was quick enough to get into the fights he was actually able to be the first man on the scene: And he decided to use these abilities to become a Mercenary.
Boomstick: And Scout is really damn good at his job thanks to his many abilities that any normal person and even some classes (cough Medic) would die for.
Wiz: Bit of sly talking about Medic but hey let's just keep on going. Scout can not only jump higher and more frequently than every class in the game but he can even do one more, Which easily could allow him to outmaneuver any opponent in the game!
Boomstick: Trust us! If you put some slow ass Heavy in a fight against a mad jumping Scunt in a room, The jumping Scunt is gonna win most of the time!
Wiz: Most of the time!
Boomstick: Scout is really god damn fast like he has dodged shots from a Sentry Gun and it has been said that Scout can run at 22 Miles Per Hour!
Wiz: The fastest man in the world was Usain Bolt who at the World Championships in Berlin on 16 August 2009 ran 100 meters in just a matter of in a record-setting time of 9.58 seconds. Which has been said that it would make him 28 Miles Per Hour, just a little faster than Scout but still putting him a little slower than the fastest man in the world.
Boomstick: But that's only when he is running when it comes to dodging attacks, He is able to sidestep shots from the Soldiers Rocket Launcher which means he can react to speeds at Mach 3.27!
Wiz: That means he can react to speeds of 3 times faster than the speed of sound!
Boomstick: That's three Sonics running at him at once!
Wiz: Well...No not exactly cause Sonic is a little bit faster than that. But, That speed is actually half the speed of the fastest plane in the world the North American X-15 which can go at just over Mach 6!
Boomstick: But Scout isn't just known for his Speed, He's also known for his Weaponry! Like the Scattergun, This goes without saying this fires more than one bullet at once but what makes this thing give me a bulge in my pants that isn't a sandvich is that it fires 10 pellets per shot!
Wiz: Why would you have that eh hem "response" to a piece of weaponry: But yes this weapon is quite powerful, The Scattergun can fire 6 shots before needing to reload and considering the fact that one shot can do about 100 per cent damage, Now imagine getting shot by that thing 6 times!
Boomstick: But what makes this weakness not as bad is that it gives him an extra jump! Speaking of jumps, Scout can jump twice into the air! That doesn't seem to make sense!
Wiz: It really doesn't sense to jump a person needs to be standing on something think and the air isn't thick obviously, Regardless, Scout has his Soda Popper which gives him another extra jump, But this can also build up his hype meter that can boost his damage.
Boomstick: How much damage? Well about 480 per cent, Now that's a bitch! Anyway, Scout's next weapon is honestly the funniest shit I've ever heard of The Baby Face's Blaster, Now you may be thinking that this just sounds like Han Solo's gun if he looked like Stewie Griffin but no, This gun can increase his speed the more damage he deals!
Wiz: Now that cues the question, How fast is Scout? Well, he can dodge Sentry Fire and run at about 22 Miles Per Hour at top speeds! But in the Mann vs Machine update, he can go over 200 Miles Per Hour! so overall pretty god damn fast!
Boomstick: Scout's also got his Bonk! Atomic Punch! Which provides Invincibility for 8 Seconds which is strange since this thing is full of Radiation, Which you'd think would kill somebody but apparently this guy is so tough he can drink this stuff, The only weakness of it is the fact that he needs to wait for 24 seconds before he can have another!
Wiz: Scout's also has many Baseball Bats, He has Lightsaber Baseball Bats, The Sandman which can stun opponents with his balls, Both Figuratively and Literally! He's also got a candy cane, a Lucile stolen from Negan, A Fan, The Atomizer which gives Scout a triple jump and The Sun on a Stick!
Boomstick: He's also got some pistols such as his Winger which is used for long range and can fire 5 times before needing to reload and The Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol which can fire 12 times before needing to be reloaded and can fire 4.7 rounds a second! Scout also has a Grappling Hook which allows him to swing around the place like Spider-Man!
Wiz: His weapons don't stop there as he has his Power-Ups which can double his already insane strength, Return all the damage returned as Health, Make himself faster by 80 per cent and allows him to heal!
Boomstick: He's also got his Spellbook Magazine a vintage edition of the witchcraft magazine "Casters Quarterly" found in the back of a closet which when equipped allows him to use Magic Spells. Such as firing Fireballs, Teleport. Can be cloaked in Magic, Can summon a monster names Monoculus by throwing a skull, Can Fire a wave of electricity, Can summon Meteors and many other things!
Wiz: It doesn't end there as he has his Pick Ups which is used to slow down other racers, These weapons include, another grappling hook, Homing Rockets, A Remote-Detonated Bomb, A Freeze Ray, A Shock Wave and can shoot fireballs!
Boomstick: Holy Shit! Look at all those weapons!
Wiz: What makes this worse for his opponents is the fact that he is quite physically impressive not counting speed that we already mentioned.
Boomstick: Scout is very strong as he can knock out a Bear with Amelia Earhart's femur bone! Once moved a large hollow shell made of balsa wood and styrofoam the size of Ayers rock with just one hand and Once hugged Miss Pauling tight enough to squeeze blood out of her eyes by accident, Just like Grand Mama Boomstick!
Wiz: You have a weird family, But despite his lanky body, Scout can take quite a punch: Well so tough that he can tank getting hit by three Rockets and was only barely fazed. Can survive getting lit on fire by Pyro's, massive falls from the top of a building and he can survive being shot multiple times without too much damage. And he survived being pulled by his arms by Heavy and by his legs by Saxton Hale a guy who can kill Yetis with one punch! And even Heavy has killed a bear with one punch.
Boomstick: God Damn! Scout can take such a fucking punch!
Wiz: But even with all these weapons and amazing feats: Scout isn't perfect, His Durability is nothing compared to his teammates, He can be very Brash and Arrogant, Some of his weapons lower his Durability, Guns have limited ammunition, while other items have a cooldown time between use and he's scared of Ghosts and Secretly The Pyro!
Boomstick: So when your on the 2 Fort Battle-Field and you have successfully evaded having your head shot off, Or be blown to smithereens by Soldier and Demoman, You better not get cocky cause a certain Shotgun wielding loud-mouth will knock off your feet: With the Barrel of a Shotgun!
Scout: If you were from where I was from, you'd be f**kin' dead!
Heavy is on the ground trying to reach for his Sandvich but Scout runs up the side of a container, jumps off and slams his bat into Heavy's head.
Scout: WOOO!
Intermission[]
Battle[]
Location: 2 Fort (Team Fortress 2)
The Battle raged on, The two groups of nine identical men dressed in red and blue had been battling against each other for many hours: A grand total of 3 casualties had occurred since the beginning of the fighting. A figure of red and blue, Zipped across the air as it came closer and closer to the battlefield. Just on top of the Red Team building and stared down at each man shooting each other down like they were nothing; The skinny and tall figure garbed in red and blue with webs had enough of this site as he walked across the roof and towards the ventilation shaft and slammed his foot into it, Causing it to basically shatter to pieces.
(Cue Death Battle: Swing for the Fences - Insert Fictional Artist)
The man leapt through the hole where the ventilation shaft was, He fell in the empty pit for what felt like a minute but was probably a second: Landing on the floor, The figure stood up revealing the Spider emblem on his chest, Basically identifying him as New York's Protector, Spider-Man!
Spider-Man: Alright Spidey, Need to arrest every single on these monsters!
Spider-Man walked across the hallway, Trying to be silent as he wanted to knock away the stronger classes silently and defeat the weaker classes up close. The Web Warrior suddenly saw The Heavy running by, Shouting like a Gorilla on steroids. Spider-Man hugged the wall as Heavy passed by, Checking if anyone was following after The Heavy, And he discovered Heavy was on his own.
Heavy: Here I co---
Heavy was silenced when Spider-Man webbed him by his back, The Russian looked behind himself in confusion before he was tugged away like he was nothing more than a plaything. Heavy had no time to react as he flew towards Peter before suddenly...
BAM!
Heavy was suddenly sent flying away by a punch to the cheek silencing his screams of fear in a matter of a second as he was suddenly knocked out and sent sprawling across the floor. Spider-Man cracked his knuckle and then webbed Heavy's knocked out body to the floor for later.
Spider-Man: You know what they say...The bigger they are the harder they fall!
Peter turned around triumphantly only to be met by a young looking man wearing a red shirt and black trousers with a grey cap on his head, By the name of Scout staring right back at him with his trusty Baseball Bat equipped.
Spider-Man: It's...It's not what it looks like kid!
Scout: Well to me it looks like you beat the shit out of one of my teammates!
Spider-Man: Well...okay...that is kinda what is happening...
Scout growled in anger as he took on a stance as he attempted to bat Spider-Man's head right off his shoulders with a swing: Only to be met by air as Peter ducked underneath the strike, With all his might, Spider-Man sent a strike into Scout's cheek sending him bouncing off the wall and onto the floor.
Scout: Right Pal! I'm gonna knock that dumb mask off your shoulders!
Spider-Man: Like to see you try Red Sock!
FIGHT!
The two men charged towards each other at top speeds, Scout shouted as he swung the Bat towards Spider-Man's head once again only to meet the same result as Spider-Man ducked underneath the attack once again: Spider-Man kneeled as he prepared to jump back up to the battle only to be sent flying by a left hook to the head. Peter groaned in agony as he bounced off the wall.
Scout continued his assault as he sent the metal weapon flying towards Spider-Man's head: Finally making contact as it smashed Parker in the jaw in a downward motion. Scout was relentless as he continued bashing Spider-Man in the face in many different directions before he finally finished the combo with a strike to the temple sending Spider-Man rolling on his side across the floor. Spider-Man pushed himself slowly as he was suddenly met by Scout aiming his Winger at him.
BANG!
The Speedster of TF2 began firing towards The Wall Crawler at insane speeds as the bullets flew across the air in a blur: But Spidey was keeping up perfectly as he sidestepped, jumped and ducked underneath every single bullet until Scout's gun clicked.
But before Scout could reload his weapon he was suddenly sent crashing across the floor by a web-swing, Spider-Man landed in front of the downed Scout.
Spider-Man: I wish you criminals will learn that I can dodge bullets!
Spider-Man grabbed a hold of Scout's collar and flung the Merc through the wall causing pieces of pebbles and rocks to gracefully fall to the bottom of the newly formed crater on the wall. Scout bounced on the sandy floor before he suddenly bashed head first onto a pair of staircase making him growl in pain before he pushed himself up from the floor despite the pain in his head.
Just as he pushed himself up, Scout saw Spider-Man charging towards him like a bullet, Despite the Web Slinger only looking like a blur: Scout was able to react just in time to avoid an attack from Spider-Man, Cracking the wall behind as Peter's foot smashed against the wall.
Scout recovered quickly as he saw Spider-Man bouncing off the wall and reeling his fists back in Scout's direction. The Speedster barely swatted away the attack with his Baseball Bat. Spidey had no time to react before he was bashed in the head with a swing making him stumble: Spider-Man finally turned around after a couple of seconds before suddenly...
BAM!
Spider-Man finally was quick enough to intercept the attack as he wrapped his hands around Scout's Baseball Bat, Scout looked at Spider-Man's seemingly unexpressive in confusion.
Spider-Man: Hey Batter! You should have swung harder!
Scout just had to watch in fear as suddenly Spider-Man compressed his hand across the Bat, As the sound of metal crushing before suddenly the metal weapon suddenly exploded in metal shards, Sending them in all different directions and even one cut Scout's cheek open, Allowing a fresh trickle of blood to leak down his face.
Scout: Uh, Mercy?
Spider-Man: Nice Try!
Spider-Man's next attack sent Scout flying into a wall, even bouncing him off it with a crash. Spider-Man followed after the stunned Scout and bashed him over the face with spinning right hook: Peter grabbed hold of Jeremy's neck and with one punch to the cheek, Left Scout eligible for a powerful throw sending The TF2 flying through a hallway as he shouted in agony while bouncing across the floor like a Playstation Platformer!
Scout skidded before he finally readied himself, With his Force of Nature equipped. Spider-Man leapt towards The Merc with his fist reeled: Scout though didn't let this attack land on him as he jumped away from the strike, Allowing Spider-Man to land on the pavement. Scout landed as he fired a couple of shots at Spider-Man, But each one missed once again as Spider-Man dived in different directions. Scout realised this quickly as he equipped his Soda Popper and sent himself flying with a shot to the floor.
Spider-Man: Oh...that's n--
Scout collided against Spider-Man at top speeds sending them both crashing through many walls until finally, they both landed onto the sandy floor.
They both pushed themselves up like the attack was nothing, Scout spat a tooth out of his head as he leapt into the air and flung a flying guillotine towards his head in the intent to kill: But only just missing as Spider-Man grabbed a hold of the handle and stopped it an inch from his face. As soon as Spider-Man dropped his guard for just a second he was soon sent flopping to the floor by a kick to the chest.
Spider-Man: Ow!
The Web Warrior groaned as he was flung across the floor, Scout followed after his assault with a flurry of slashes with the Sandman with such speed that the wooden weapon was nothing but a blur as Spider-Man did everything he could to stop all of the attacks from landing. Spider-Man soon saw his opportunity as he jumped onto Scout's chest and bounced off it like a trampoline. Scout stumbled, Leaving Spider-Man enough time to web him by the chest before he was suddenly pulled into the air.
Scout had to deal with the assault against his face as he was bashed over and over again, But soon Jeremy jumped away from another attack as he aimed his Soda Popper. Spidey had no time to react before he was blasted in the chest causing what looks like purple electricity to pulsate around his body as blood began pouring out of his chest. Peter growled as he landed before he finally stood back up.
Scout: Well, is that it? Because it seems your too chicken shit for your own good!
Spider-Man could only watch as Scout suddenly took a large sip out of his can of Bonk that he acquired from his back pocket. Suddenly a dark red tinge overlapped Scout's body as he stood confidently with his bat just behind his head, Spider-Man took this chance to attack, Smashing Scout in the face with a flurry of punches and kicks. Each attack was doing no damage, As Scout stood still before he suddenly grabbed a hold of Spider-Man's scalp and kneed him in the stomach.
Scout: BATTER UP!
Scout suddenly flung the weapon towards Spider-Man's face sending him flying away like he was nothing but a dead-weight: Jeremy leapt just to Spider-Man's level and began bashing him over and over again before he finished the combo with a downward smash.
CRASH!
Dust billowed from the newly formed crater where Spider-Man once fell, Leaving any chance of seeing the knocked down Spider-Man just about impossible. Scout charged forward at top speeds like a blur as the Bonk increased his speed. Scout took a swing towards Spider-Man's head, Which was narrowly blocked by Spider-Man grabbing his bat once again causing the dust to spread across the area before it all suddenly disappeared in the air. Spider-Man sent Scout flying away from his weapon with a kick to the chest, Before snapping the bat in half over his knee.
But Scout continued his assault as he swatted at Spider-Man's chest with the Bat-Saber cutting a streak on his costume. Spider-Man reeled in pain but Scout continued, Slashing the Wall Crawler's costume to ribbons as he was sent a little bit into the air. Scout suddenly grabbed Scout by his collar and head-butted him before he used the last second of his invincibility to fling Spider-Man back to 2 Fort.
Location: 2 Fort! (Red Base)
The Blue Spy ran across the bridge leading to the entrance of the Red Base before he suddenly cloaked himself and walked inside. Well tried to walk inside as suddenly, Spider-Man crashed into him like a rocket splattering his body on the floor like paste! But Spider-Man didn't have any time to dwell on this murder when suddenly he saw Scout jumping over the wooden wall.
Spider-Man: Maximum Spider!
Peter leapt just to Scout's eye level as he suddenly began flinging a flurry of punches that made Scout shout out in pain before he was finally sent crashing through the roof of the bridge. Scout barely pushed himself up as he drank another can of Bonk before suddenly Spider-Man bashed him in the stomach with all his might like a blur: Scout reeled in agony as he watched as Spider-Man punched him in the face sending him crashing into the wall, And landed on his fours clutching his stomach.
Scout: I....do....dont....feel so good!
Spider-Man: Think I'm gonna let you take a sip from that again!
Scout suddenly began vomiting uncontrollably on the floor as he felt the powers of Bonk come rushing out of his body while he hunched in agony.
When Scout was finished, Spider-Man booted him in the head sending his weakened crashing into a wall as he groaned in disgust and pain. Spider-Man stood over the near vomiting Scout as he grabbed the Force of Nature by the back of his collar and flung him against the floor once again. Seeing a rapidly approaching Soldier, Peter knocked the man with one punch and soon took the rocket out of the weapon and began swinging it around on a web-ready to fling it at Scout...
BANG! BOOM!
...Until Scout fired first causing a massive explosion that completely eclipsed the front of the building, Causing the surprisingly flammable building to explode from the inside and out and began to topple like blocks on a Jenga Tower to topple over Spider-Man and an unlucky Heavy that just so happened to walk by at that time.
Scout: For your grave, I'll have my ass as your tombstone!
Jeremy began running back into the fight shooting a shocked Spy in the head as he ran by, Laughing and feeling good about his supposed victory...
Beneath the Rubble.
Surprisingly, Spider-Man somehow survived being crushed underneath the weight of Blue Team's Building and the explosion that came before it. Problem was that the weight of the rubble was too much for Peter to handle as he attempted to push it off him with no effect!
Spider-Man: n--no...I failed...if I had been more careful I...
But this wasn't the time for putting himself down as Spider-Man realised that he was actually running out of oxygen and quick...
(Thought) Spider-Man: What do I do? I can't die like this!
But suddenly thoughts of his life began flashing over his eyes as the rubble began pushing down at him, Somehow weighing heavier than he remembered. Memories like his first girlfriend Gwen Stacy and how he lost her on that fateful night, How he had to hold Captain Stacy's corpse. But one really stabbed into his heart like the sharpest knife: the death of his Uncle Ben thanks to his own ignorance!
(Thought) Spider-Man: I can do this! I can do this! I'm SPIDER-MAN!
With those memories egging him on Spider-Man began to lift the rubble over his head - His costume ripped around his arms as he began to raise it high over his head until he saw the light...
Scout turned around in shock as he saw the building raise high over Spider-Man's head, Making his absolute might obvious for the Merc to see. Every battle stopped as every combatant watched in fear and shock at the absolute marvel of events they were just seeing!
Spider-Man: Hey...Buddy...CATCH!
Suddenly Spider-Man flung the remains of the building towards the Scout who was now standing on the bridge, probably pissing himself as he saw the structure coming closer and closer towards him...
Scout: mommy...
While Scout had all that time to get out of the way from his impending doom as suddenly the structure slammed into what remained of the roof of the bridge, Basically obliterating it in a matter of seconds. Soon Scout and the deck were left open as the structure finally smashed into him at top speeds.
Before the Boston Basher could even scream in fear, His body and the bridge below him were obliterated like the roof just a couple of seconds ago before suddenly causing an explosion that engulfed most of the battlefield. Both, Disintegrating any fool that was too close or sending any remaining man flying into the walls due to the sheer shock wave caused by the collision
When the dust settled, Spider-Man walked towards the destroyed bridge and even chalkboard black floor: All that was left of the Loud Merc was his bloodied and tattered hat that blew through the wind gracefully...
Spider-Man: Well I guess that's that!
Spider-Man suddenly looked forward and saw the knocked out Engineer, Medic and Sniper that laid on the floor. Peter webbed up the men before swinging away, He was gonna inform the Police in the area as soon as he was far enough and allow them to get arrested.
As the camera pans down to a knocked out Medic he suddenly he opened his eyes and glared at the camera in anger and rooted out his Vita-Saw...
KO!
Results[]
Boomstick: Ouch! I was gonna say strike you're out but...I think Scout figured that out himself.
Wiz: Both Spider-Man and Scout were extremely quick and agile but Spider-Man just had too much in his arsenal: Scout's weaponry might be very impressive in combat and could deffo do a number on Spider-Man if they landed, The main problem with this statement is that one word if he landed a shot.
Boomstick: And it's very unlikely that Scout would even land a shot in on Spider-Man thanks to the fact that Spider-Man can dodge bullets from 2 inches away from his face which on the low end would mean he could move in just under a seventeenth of a second. Which if you can't guess is way faster than any of Scout's weaponry thanks to the fact that you know that's a gun as well!
Wiz: And even in an upfront confrontation, Spider-Man had Scout beat: Sure Scout was able to send Heavy flying 82 feet away which at most is about 3540 PSI while Spider-Man can hit quite a lot of stronger, You want evidence? well, take your pick. But however, we will look at Spider-Man's most impressive looking feat, The fact that he broke down a building with his bare hands. Now since the building was completely destroyed we can assume that Spider-Man's punches are similar to TNT used to destroy Sky Scrapers! How much force is that? Ah nothing much just 5 tons of TNT!
Boomstick: Hot Damn! That is way more than Scout's greatest feat of strength and Scout can only even do that as a taunt! Wait, If Scout landed a shot in on Spider-Man Somehow wouldn't it be able to kill Spidey?
Wiz: Well...no...not really since Spider-Man resisted the force of a car being flung at him by the Hulk! Which I don't think is less force than Scout can exert. But Scout does have some advantages against Spider-Man, For one he was easily as agile as Peter and could definitely dodge some of his attacks.
Boomstick: What makes it better for the Force of Nature, Is the fact that some weapons like Bonk can even make him invincible for a couple of seconds.
Wiz: Now if Scout played smart and drank his Bonk immediately and decided to tank all of Spider-Man's attacks and shoot him in the head when he gets the chance: All this does give Scout some ways to win against Peter, But the main problem with that is he wouldn't play it smart as he always goes in with his normal weaponry first.
Boomstick: And also the other problem with that statement is that at most he could only use his Bat while he was invincible: Which Spider-Man could dodge easily and waste Scout's invincibility before he could then finish Scout off with one clean punch to the head.
Wiz: And it's very likely that Scout could not even land a hit on Spider-Man or even dodge him thanks to his opponents Spider-Sense and just Peter's insane reflexes that are so good that he could dodge a repulsor blast from Iron Man which are apparently as fast as light!
Boomstick: Yeah...Scout's not gonna land a shot in on Spider-Man and he wouldn't be able to catch up to him thanks to the fact that the Web-Head can move faster than a blur and at the very least has been listed as 200 MPH, Way fucking faster than anything Scout has done even with Bonk!
Wiz: Thanks to those speed advantages, Spider-Man would eventually figure out Scout's very primitive and predictable tactics thanks to just how smart Peter is: And when Scout does eventually miss that shot, Spider-Man would deffo be able to land that killing blow in on Scout! Because Scout is just a gunman with a bat which Spider-Man deals with nearly every single day of his life, All Spidey would need to do is get used to Scout's fighting style and finally start landing his own shots.
Boomstick: And even Scout's greatest weapons could even be fucked: Thanks to the fact that Spider-Man could just web those weapons out of Scout's hands - Even stuff like Bonk wouldn't be too much trouble for Spider-Man to just take off of Scout's hands.
Wiz: Scout was no man to underestimate, However, Spider-Man just held the advantage in nearly every category!
Boomstick: Looks like Scout really had a crushing end in this fight!
Wiz: The winner is Spider-Man!
