Description[]
Mach Go Go Go vs Cars! These racers will stop at nothing to win and have plenty of weapons at their side, but which racer will reach the checkered flag?
Interlude[]
Counter: Since the dawn of the 1900s, man has yearned to get around much quicker than ever before. They wanted to use...cars. They were at first slow, but grew into speed demons, capable of exceeding well over 200 kilometres an hour!
Kaiya: And since people are dumb, they wanted to make them race...and kill each other with explosive weaponry! Wa-cha!
Damien: Like Speed Racer, driver of the Mach 5 and button enthusiast!
Hannah: And...Lightning McQueen, 7-time Piston Cup champion. By the way, Lightning will have weapons and feats taken from the Cars 1 and 3 video games. The Cars 2 game is merely a virtual reality simulation.
Counter: I'm Counter and these are my partners, Damien, Kai and Hannah!
Kaiya: And we've taken over from Wiz and Boomstick to analyse the two's weapons armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!
Speed Racer[]
Damien: Oh boy! Our first episode has Speed Racer! Whoo! Anyway, son of the engineer, Pops Racer, Speed Racer always had a soft spot for...well, racing! He loves racing, and dreams to become the best racer in the world!
Counter: But can we take a moment to talk about how dumb the name 'Speed Racer' is?
Kaiya: Awful lotta talk coming from a guy named Counter.
Counter: Hey!
Kaiya: Come on, just one little name. You can even whisper it into my ear.
Hannah: Guys, come on. In his quest to become the greatest racer ever, he's travelled across the globe, and competed in hundreds of races. But unfortunately, he always manages to get himself in trouble...a-a lot.
Counter: But bad guys can never keep him down for long. With the help of his family and friends, he's always managed to overcome any obstacle in his way.
Kaiya: Well, that, and with his awesome car, the Mach 5! Holy hell, look at that thing! Looks like a trident on wheels!
Damien: The Mach 5 is Speed Racer's vehicle of choice. It has tons of cool gadgets on it, and can reach up to 223 miles per hour! That's 360 kilometres per hour if you didn't know! It's awesome, with heaps of buttons that do heaps of different things!
Counter: Like Button A, which is supposed to release high-powered jacks to hoist the car up in case it needs repairs. But Speed Racer has learned to weaponise and utilize the jacks for other techniques, like powerful jumps!
Hannah: Speed has used it to jump over canyons multiple times.
Kaiya: Woah, did that last one have lava in it?
Hannah: Yes, but that's not the point...the point is that Speed Racer utilizes these jacks to make death-defying leaps over nearly anything. Chasms, racers, craters and even jumping as high as a helicopter or on a boat that has already left the harbour.
Damien: Speed can also use the jacks to...uh, crush other cars? Oh, yeah! I remember that! He can also use them to slow down his fall while scaling hills and mountains, as well as recover from an oil slick!
Counter: ...None of this makes any scientific sense.
Kaiya: You mean like Control B, which activates special 'grip tires' that help him travel across any type of terrain, like mountains!, and like Control A, he's used it to recover from an oil slick!
Hannah: Control B also gives the Mach 5 5000 horsepower among each wheel for even more power. He can drive up a wall completely vertical, and even drive up a rock underwater.
Counter: The only car with 5000 horsepower is the one-off Devel Sixteen. This level of power allows the driver to go from 0-60 miles per hour in 1.8 seconds and reach a top speed of 348 miles per hour. That is 560 kilometres per hour. So, it's safe to say the grip tires pack a punch!
Damien: And Control C is one of Speed's only actual weapons! It summons two giant rotary saws from under the front bumpers to absolutely annihilate anything and anyone in the way! It can slice through trees, slice open a steel door, and even shred three other cars to piles of scrap!
Hannah: He can even use the saws to-
Kaiya: Shred the tyres of other cars and send them flying! Whoo! He has used the saws to chop through vines that can support the weight of cars and people! He's even used them to slice through whole rocks and boulders on their own!
Counter: Control D causes a bullet-proof, crash-proof and watertight shield to cover the cockpit of the Mach 5, defending Speed Racer from almost anything. It can even protect him from lava!
Kaiya: Huh? Awesome! It can also protect him from fire, able to close fast enough to deflect a sniper bullet after it was fired! Assuming that was a regular FMJ round, their speed can range from 2500-3200 feet per second!
Hannah: I'm surprised you knew that.
Kaiya: Course I do!
Hannah: Don't seem to know much else... Control D also defends against poison gasses, which supports the shield being watertight. Control E and F are less useful. Control E activates super-strong headlights for seeing underwater and Control F supplies oxygen to the Mach 5 and deploys a periscope...for underwater use. That's it. He has never used it for anything else.
Damien: But Control G is the last control, and it sends out a homing robot. It comes attached with a super-long wire, which he's used to scale up a giant stone robot, get him out of a waterfall and save a man from falling out of a hot-air balloon.
Counter: But the robot isn't just for climbing! It's actually super powerful, able to break multiple metal lasers just by flying into them and even bust open a locked door! But just in case he needs to be a bit more precise, he can control the robot with a joystick inside the Mach 5.
Kaiya: But even without the car or the gadgets, Speed Racer is super strong. He's able to send grown men flying with a single punch, and even punching apart a stone pillar to knock out the guy on the other side! This feat is supported by him launching this huge guy into a stone cliff enough to break off enough rubble to bury the guy with!
Hannah: And he's a master driver. He's able to drive the Mach 5 on two wheels to make it across a river on a thin log, make dangerous jumps and execute dangerous turns while blindfolded, dodge fireballs speeding towards him, and even loop around a tunnel.
Counter: Speed's able to survive a house-sized explosion with a sling being his only injury, tank driving over a landmine, fall down a cliff without any injuries!
Kaiya: THIS GUY'S INHUMAN! Like, JESUS! That's not even mentioning him shrugging off violent car wrecks literally every other day, survive being buried in an avalanche, and even tank Mammoth Car exploding! Look at this! There's a giant explosion, and he just runs out of it like it was nothing! That's not even mentioning he can survive being slammed into a tree by a giant sp-
Damien: AH! M-Moving on! Speed Racer is also really fast! He's able to react and dodge attacks from panthers, who can move at around 58 kilometres an hour, deflect spears falling at him with a spear of his own and even dodge small missiles being fired at him!
Counter: The smallest missile ever utilized by the US military was the NAVIAR Spike missile, which was 25 inches long! That missile could reach speeds of up to 270 meters per second! But while Speed Racer does have some examples of dodging gunfire, due to the angle and the anime's tendency to repeat animations, it's hard to tell whether he actually dodged gunfire at all, or it's just luck.
Hannah: But even if he can't dodge gunfire, he can outrun a helicopter. It's clear that the henchman was going at full speed since he needed to catch him. It is a general rule of thumb that helicopters need to fly at around 260 kilometres an hour, meaning Speed Racer could run at those speeds and even faster.
Kaiya: And before you call an outlier, these feats are supported by dodging a roller coaster milliseconds before it hit him, possibly dodging gunfire and reacting to panthers and other animals! And to top it all off, the Mach 5 is also super tough, tanking the same types of falls that Speed Racer has before and tanking two bombs, without so much as the paint being scratched!
Damien: It can even ram right through metal doors and completely destroy helicopter blades with ease! So it's clear the Mach 5 is super tough and super strong!
Counter: Well, he's not perfect. He can be prideful and hot-headed, and often tries to help others, even putting himself in danger to do so. And he can rely on his friends a little too much, but rest assured. Speed Racer is one of the best racers in fiction. If you see him approach you on the racetrack, don't bother trying. You'll just lose slower.
(Speed Racer: For months, I've been driving in races all over the world. There have been a lot of bad crashes and I've had some close calls, but the danger is a part of racing, just as is the thrill of winning. I'll go on competing in races throughout the world, because wherever there's a challenge, I've got to meet it!)
Lightning McQueen[]
Counter: Thousands of years into the future, when humans are nowhere to be found-
Kaiya: The hell are you talking about? We're not talking about...Transformers, jeez. We're talking about Lightning McQueen.
Counter: I know, but let me just finish. Sentient cars and vehicles ruled the world, reinventing their own society. And of course, as cars, their main sport was...racing. And the best of them all?
Damien: A red racecar known as Lightning McQueen! In his first year racing in the NASCAR-equivalent Piston Cup, Lightning was...well...
Kaiya: A dick?
Damien: Well...yeah. He was mean to his pit crew, didn't listen to them, and took his talent for granted. But that all changed after an accident resulted in Lightning being stuck in the small town of Radiator Springs!
Hannah: While initially mean, Lightning eventually grew close to the citizens of Radiator Springs. He befriended them, changing for the better. He even managed to land a girlfriend named Sally. And, as The King puts it...
(King: You got more talent in one lugnut then a lotta cars have got in their whole body.)
Counter: But how is Lightning better than the rest? To start, he can reach a top speed of 198 miles per hour, that's 318 kilometres an hour! He's a master at driving, and has a horsepower of 750!
Kaiya: He's also able to perform many techniques to keep him on the road and navigate around many different drivers! Being a living car, he can drive on two wheels, and even, after being taught by his best friend Mater, can drive backwards, and even drift after being taught by racing legend Doc Hudson!
Damien: And he can jump if he wants to! Even using other cars as ramps! I wonder how he landed without blowing his tyres...
Counter: Focus, Damien...He can bash other cars away with ease, even Mack and Miss Fritter, a semi-trailer and school bus, respectively! And if he wants to, he can flip through the air!
Hannah: And while that is impressive, he has plenty of weapons to go along with it, too. With the Oil Slick, he can send foes spinning out of control! With missiles, he can send foes flying, he can even use three missiles in one go.
Kaiya: The Rapid Fire are two Gatling guns that can annihilate any opponent in his way! He even has missiles that home into the people in front of him, and ones that home in on the racer in first place! Uh...I have no idea where they took THAT from. None.
Damien: He has any kind of mine that you could ever want! Mines that explode on contact, mines that you have to bash someone else to get rid of, and anything you could think of! He even has a weapon that can any opponent's weapon!
Counter: With the Turbo Syphon, Lightning can steal an opponent's boost and with the Booster Jets, he's described as a low-flying rocket. Now, this description matches a cruise missile, which are low-altitude missiles designed for precision strikes. Most cruise missiles have an average speed of 800 kilometres an hour (500 miles per hour). Now, while it is foolish to say that Lightning is always flying at these speeds whenever he uses it, it is a good point of comparison.
Hannah: And even if can't fly at missile speeds, he can certainly dodge them. So yeah, he's pretty fast at dodging, and even moving, if he wants to. But if he wants his opponents to slow down, he'll use the Spike Strips, which cause severe tyre damage, slowing the opponent to a crawl.
Kaiya: But it's important to know that Lightning can survive and keep driving at full speeds even after running over them! And if he wants no-one to touch him, he'll use the High Voltage, which surrounds him in an electrical field! Even so much as touching it is enough to send someone flying!
Damien: And after building up enough Nitro, he can even boost! He can zoom ahead of the competition, but one of his best abilities is the Zone! When Lightning builds up enough Nitro, he can zoom ahead of the track with an ultimate boost that surrounds number 95 in an energy field, knocking anyone he touches away!
Counter: But anyway, Lightning's advanced speed has saved him from deadly crashes multiple times....but not always. Here, he can navigate this crash with flying cars and wheels, while he couldn't see due to all the smoke! And yet, he didn't get a scratch on him. He did the same thing with a demolition derby!
Kaiya: He can keep up with the next generation cars in Cars 3, keep in mind, these cars were specifically built to be faster than older cars like McQueen, and yet he was still able to keep up and even lead the race for a short while, until Jackson Storm overtook him. Even then, he was still able to keep ahead of the pack!
Hannah: He can somehow even tank a missile, he was blasted high into the air, burned, and yet still managed to drive at full speed, without so much as breaking a sweat. He can drive over 100 laps without a tyre change, even after being advised to by his pit crew.
Damien: But let's be real. He's not the best by any means. He isn't the fastest, I mean, that is the whole point of Cars 3. He's not as young as he used to be, and he can lose his focus and slow down if things don't go as planned.
Counter: And while his wins heavily outweigh his losses, he doesn't exactly have a perfect record. He's lost to Francesco Bernoulli and Jackson Storm, multiple times in the case of the latter, and in his first season, his tyres popped after he didn't listen to his pit crew. Because of this, Lightning ended the race with a three-way tie.
Kaiya: And sometimes his durability can be a little inconsistent. In Cars 3, he suffered a rollover crash and was put out of commission for 4 months, while he can be shot with guns and missiles and only get slowed down. He also doesn't know his limits and can push himself too far.
Hannah: And while he's relatively lost it now, he still maintains a little arrogance and cockiness from his rookie days. Still, there's a lot more to racing then just winning. While it took him a while to see it, Lightning would race with a smirk on his face and his friends nearby. Maybe that's real racing.
(Lightning: The racing IS the reward, not the stuff! I want to feel the rush of moving 200 miles per hour! Inches from the other guys, pushing myself faster than I thought I could go! THAT's the reward, Mr. Sterling!)
Intermission[]
Counter: Alright, the combatants are set. You guys ready to do this?
Damien: Yeah!
Kaiya: Count me in!
Hannah: Of course.
Counter: It's time...FOR A DEATH BATTLE!
Poll[]
Death Battle[]
It was the final race of the Piston Cup season. 43 cars were lined up, ready to try their hardest to reach the top spot. They all wanted to win more than anything in the world. The cars were lined up in two columns, but the car leading them all? None other than the red Lightning McQueen. He was looking out to the crowd, a group consisting of other living cars. Smirking, Lightning looked ahead. 200 laps. 800 turns.
Right behind him, there was another, white car, the number 5 plastered across its side. This car was the most unique of them all, as it wasn't sentient. Someone drove that car, and it was the legendary Speed Racer himself. This was the only race he hadn't conquered. He looked ahead of him, spotting the Rust-eze logo right at the front. That was the car to beat.
However, above them all, there were two cars in a booth, microphones in front of them. They weren't a part of the action, merely commenting on it. And they were about to speak.
"Welcome back to the Los Angeles 500. I'm Bob Cutlass, here with my good friend, Darrel Cartrip." A grey car announced, talking to no-one in particular.
"Hooah, man! This is excitin'! 43 cars are all lined up and ready to go! And look at that! Lightning McQueen is in the pole position. Two cars are tied with the season point lead, Lightning and the rookie, Speed Racer! My oil pressure is through the roof right now! I can't wait to see how this goes!"
Down on the track, Speed Racer looked at Lightning, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. All he needed was one win to have every racing competition under his belt.
"Let's do this!" He called out, giving a thumbs-up to the crowd. In front of him, Lightning was flashing his lucky lightning-bolt shaped sticker.
"Ka-chow!" He yelled to the crowd. They were roaring louder than McQueen's engine. But the time for crowd-pleasing was later. Now it was time to race. He looked ahead and saw the green flag. He waited...and waited...
Then the green flag dropped. With a yell of delight, Lightning revved his engine, while Speed Racer slammed his foot into the accelerator.
"Boogity-boogity-boogity, boys! Let's go racin'!"
"Enjoy the view back there, Speed!" Lightning joked, as he sped off down the track, the Mach 5 on his tail.
FIGHT!
Using its superior speed, it didn't take long for the Mach 5 to catch up to McQueen, racing bumper-to-bumper. The red racecar looked to his left to him and smiled, speeding forwards. As they sped towards the first corner, McQueen slowed down, swerving to the left to get on the inside. Smirking, McQueen raced forwards, passing the Mach 5 and shocking Speed Racer.
"And in the beginning stages of the race, McQueen and Speed Racer are fightin' for that first place position! Neither of them look ready to give it up!" Speed Racer also tried McQueen's tactic, moving to the inside to try and pass him out. Slowly, but surely, Speed Racer ended right next to Lightning once more, as they moved into the first straightaway. McQueen flicked his eyebrow upwards slightly, pushing himself past the Mach 5 quickly.
Speed Racer glared at Lightning, but his face of frustration quickly turned to anger turned to realisation as an idea popped into his head like a lightbulb. He turned to the left, pressing the accelerator down as much as it would go. The Mach 5 approached McQueen's left, who was smiling to the crowd, showing off his lucky sticker. He didn't even notice Speed Racer appear on his left until he started to veer right.
"Woah! What're you doing?" McQueen asked, bearing right to avoid smashing into the Mach 5. The two cars kept moving closer and closer to the right. McQueen knew what he was doing. He was trying to get him to either smash into the wall or brake to avoid the wall, giving him the first position. "What a rookie. It takes more than that to stump Lightning McQueen!" He warned Speed, who didn't listen. They were inches from the wall now.
Speed Racer jerked the wheel to the left, the Mach 5 following his instructions clearly. He was rearing up for something! Then Speed Racer jerked the wheel to the right. The Mach 5 barrelled towards McQueen, who merely smirked, and raised his eyebrows as if to say: 'Nice try.' Milliseconds before McQueen smashed into the wall, he pushed his two right wheels off the ground. They landed on the wall! Two wheels on the floor, two on the wall.
"What...?" Speed Racer gasped as Lightning blasted forwards. He righted the car instantly, still inches from the wall.
"What a move by McQueen! He's now got a huge lead!" Bob Cutlass exclaimed as Speed Racer smashed his finger into Control A. Suddenly, jacks appeared under the Mach 5, launching him in the air with a single move. The two commentators were yelling in glee and shock, while McQueen simply gasped, speeding up even more, but the damage was done. Speed Racer landed next to Lightning, smirking at him.
He was undoubtedly going to go for a second attack, so Lightning needed to move quickly. Smiling, Lightning angled his body in such a way that the sunlight reflecting off his sticker flew right into Speed Racer's eyes. Screaming, Speed Racer let go of the steering wheel to shield his eyes, the Mach 5 turning wildly. It smashed into McQueen's side, sending him sliding into the infield.
It was too late to regain control. Speed Racer was jerking the wheel left and right, left and right in a desperate attempt to right himself, but all it did was prevent him from flipping over.
"Oh, Speed Racer's loose! And McQueen's lost in the infield!" Bob yelled in surprise. Groaning, Lightning turned right, thinking of his training with Doc Hudson...He grit his teeth as he leaned to the side, dirt billowing from behind him. He was regaining control...and so was Speed Racer. he slammed his finger into Control B, and the grip tyres appeared, giving him enough control and power to stay on the ground.
"I think McQueen is outta the race!" Darrel Cartrip yelled. Lightning was drifting across the dirt...he had to time this right. He was sliding towards the track, and mere metres from the track, Lightning stopped drifting, sliding onto the track with only a minimal loss of speed. Speed Racer and McQueen were neck and neck!
"McQueen saved it!"
"They're flying across the track! Oh man, this is crazy!" Speed Racer tried slamming Lightning away, but the red racecar was prepared. Grunting, he leapt to the side, smashing into the Mach 5, which didn't budge. Smirking, Speed Racer slowed down just enough to be equal with Lightning's bumper. The Mach 5 gave Lightning's bumper the lightest tap, but a light tap was all he needed to send McQueen spiralling out of control.
He was gone from sight, but not gone from the race. As seconds later, McQueen overtook Speed Racer once more, driving backwards. He winked, then spun back around to right himself. Groaning slightly, Speed Racer looked down at his steering wheel and pressed Control C. Saws erupted from the Mach 5's front, threatening to dig into McQueen's back. He screamed, trying desperately to speed up.
His engine was barely louder than his screams, but Lightning had a plan. He just needed Speed Racer to be a little bit closer. He slammed his foot on the pedal, the Mach 5 inched closer and closer to the Piston Cup champion. Grunting, Lightning activated his Oil Slick. Two barrels full on ink blasted out from behind McQueen, crashing into the ground in an explosion that sprayed oil all over the track.
He expected to hear the wheels of the Mach 5 squeal but heard nothing. The Mach 5 didn't even budge! It's wheels, with its 5000 horsepower, kept him grounded! Groaning, Lightning swerved to the left. Big mistake. It gave Speed Racer a crucial opening. He sped up, equal to the racecar.
"Ka-chow!" Speed Racer called out, snickering as he sped up, overtaking Lightning quickly. Smirking, Lightning lined himself up with Speed Racer, drafting off of his car. Using the drafting technique, Lightning was able to gain speed, slowly diminishing the gap between them.
Almost instantly, two Gatling guns emerged from Lightning's sides, pointing directly for Speed Racer. The barrels on the guns spun, almost blurs with their pure speed. For a second, it seemed like nothing was happening. Then, bullets erupted from the two guns, flying right for the Mach 5! Gasping, Mach 5 pressed Control D frantically. A shield began to envelop the cockpit of the Mach 5, bullets bouncing off of them and crashing into the track around it.
Speed Racer needed to get away from those bullets or risk having his tyres popped! But he couldn't just turn, McQueen would be there! Turning left would still leave him open, and turning right would just end up with him crashing into a wall! Wait a second...tyres, wall...
Gasping, Speed Racer gripped the wheel so tight his knuckles turned white. He took in a deep breath, and spun the wheel to the right. The Mach 5 shot towards the wall. Lightning winced, but the crash never came. The Mach 5 instead scaled the wall! It looped around Lightning, who merely watched in awe. It was if the world slowed to a crawl. The Mach 5 launched itself up and around number 95, who was at a loss for words.
With its superior speed and momentum, the Mach 5 blasted ahead of Lightning as it hit the ground, the red racecar letting out a scream. Waving from in the distance, Speed Racer stepped on the accelerator, shooting off into the distance.
"Oh, what a move by Speed Racer!"
"Man, what a lead! Lightning never even saw it comin'!" Groaning, Lightning put his all into speeding up, breathing heavily. He leaned to the side to turn faster, but it was clear Lightning wouldn't be able to catch up on his own. He needed a little help.
His exhaust pipes rumbled and roared as Lightning was filled with Nitro. His blue eyes almost seemed to glow, his body was rumbling! Red flames exploded out of the pipes like a volcano, firing Lightning forwards at blinding speeds. Speed Racer could hear the distance roaring of an engine. He let his guard down and twisted his head to look behind him, seeing the anthropomorphic car bolting towards him. The other racecars were left in the dust.
"Woah!" Lightning was right on the Mach 5's tail, smoke pouring out from behind him as his wheels squealed on the asphalt. He barely had any semblance of control, but he held onto the track, finally reuniting with the Mach 5. He chuckled, ready to blast away, but at that moment, his Nitro dissipated, leaving Lightning in the dust.
They were neck and neck once more. They tried slamming into each other, but the same result occurred, neither one of them budged. The two were relentless, determined to win. Speed Racer's natural speed gave him an edge, but anytime he got ahead, Lightning was right on his tail. They raced around, lap after lap after lap, with neither having the advantage over one another.
50 Laps In
It was evening now, as both racecars still violently fought for first place. They crashed into one another, almost lost control numerous times, but nothing changed the positioning, Speed Racer held onto a slim lead.
Until now. They were equal. Neither had the advantage, Lightning looked over at Speed Racer, who was staring straight ahead, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Slightly panicked, Speed Racer jerked the wheel to the left, slamming into Lightning and knocking him off-course. He let out a yell, and spun away.
BANG!
Speed Racer screamed, jumping in his seat. Did-Did Lightning just blow up?! He heard him scream, was this one push too far?
"Oh no! McQueen has blown a tyre!" Darrel cried as the duo watched sparks erupt from Lightning's back-left wheel. Crying out in pain, Lightning managed to just barely stay on course, but he was slow. Other cars passed him like nothing.
"Ah! Doc, I'm flat! I'm flat!"
"Oh, I think you're a bit more than flat. Can you get back to the pits?"
"Maybe, I'll give it a shot!" Doc turned to the two Italian cars, watching the display up high.
"Guido! Luigi! We need a tyre change, you're gonna have to be fast!" They simply nodded-or, moved their bodies up and down, similar to nodding. Sparks flying from his back, Lightning scrambled towards the pits, groaning in pain. Guilt spread through Speed Racer's veins like poison. That wasn't sportsmanship. He cheated, and he raced dirty. That wasn't racing.
Still, he was almost a full lap ahead of Lightning now. The pits were in sight, and so was Lightning, scrambling to drive to them. His head drooped, and he sighed. There wasn't much to do...except... Lightning sighed. It was all over for him. He wasn't getting another Piston Cup.
"Doc...It's over. I lost." He said, despondent.
"Not yet! It's not over until the chequered flag drops!" Came a voice from behind him. It was Speed Racer, right behind him. Gasping, Lightning heard the Mach 5's door open, and felt two hands on his spoiler.
"Come on! Drive! I'll help you there!" Without so much as a second to think, Lightning complied. Grunting, he spun his three remaining wheels, as Speed Racer put his full strength into pushing him there.
"Darrel...It looks like Speed Racer is helping McQueen to the pits!"
"Whoo! Now that's racing, right there! Look at them go!" The two racers grunted and yelled out, but they eventually got Lightning to his pit stop. Guido threw the tyres into the air, unscrewing Lightning's bolts as fast as he could.
"Hey!" Lightning called out. Speed Racer froze.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"Anytime. Now, I want to see you in second!" He replied, rushing back to the Mach 5. He hopped over the door into the driver's seat and took off down the pit lane. Lightning was right on his heels.
"That was a great showcase of sportsmanship, but now they're both nearly a lap down! Can they make it?" Darrel asked, watching giddily. The two racecars exited pit lane at full speed, Lightning just barely squeezing through a gap between two cars. Speed Racer wasn't able to do the same, instead pressing Control A to leap over three cars, landing right next to Lightning.
The duo smiled at each other, both determined to help each other get that lap back. Two cars were bumper-to-bumper, blocking Lightning's path. Smirking, Lightning sped up, pushing himself to the limit, jumping over both of the cars. Smiling upon landing, he shined his lucky sticker, speeding through the crowd.
Speed Racer was on his heels, threading every needle on the track. Sweat was running down the side of his head as he sped past the crowd, trailing right behind Lightning. He was confident, but then the duo was blocked by a row of cars, cutting off any method of getting past. Lightning had an idea. He drove to the outside of the track, mere inches from the wall. 50 laps in the race coated the outside in bits of rubber. Traction was immediately lost the second Lightning drove over them.
One car overtook another, opening up a gap in the track. Lightning prepared to drive through, but before he could, Speed Racer cut him off, squeezing through the gaps of racers to gain a monumental lead. Grimacing, Lightning pushed his limits, repeating one word to himself.
"No..." He said that to himself over and over again. Smoke blew into Lightning's face from another car that got lost in the rubber. For a mere millisecond, Lightning's concentration lapsed, and he lost all control. He started to slide instead of drive, his side scraping against the wall. Screaming, Lightning desperately tried to right himself, but a particularly large piece of rubber knocked the car into the air.
Lightning rose up into the air, spiralling quickly. The crowd gasped, as did the two commentators and the racecars next to him.
"Oh no! McQueen's airborne!" Bob yelled, but he wasn't out of the race just yet. Rockets. They emerged from his side. All Lightning needed was the right angle...He spun around and activated the rockets. With a whoosh that sent a shockwave across the track, Lightning took off at the speed of a small missile!
Squeals of tyres came from behind him, but Lightning was flying too fast to care. He blasted past Speed Racer, speeding around the corner...then they stopped. There was a moment of pure silence. Then Lightning fell. Screaming, Lightning flailed around, smacking into the ground with a grunt of pain. Speed Racer sped up, but Lightning was a mere red speck in the distance. But he had to try. Lightning spun out into the infield, dirt spraying from behind him as he tried to drive back onto the asphalt.
"Ugh...I gotta get used to that." He groaned, hearing the roaring of a certain white car from his right. Gasping, he crawled back onto the track, slowly regaining speed. Soon, he was at full speed, but a little too late. Speed Racer was right next to him once more. They were about to focus on getting that lap back once again, but they heard the crunching and scraping of metal. The bouncing of tyres, the yelling of racers.
Curious, they drove forward and around the corner, but what they saw shocked them to their core. Almost every other car on the racetrack were flying about, flying through the air, smashing into one another. It was all enveloped in a cloud of smoke, but they could see the sparks and hear the yells.
However, they were going too fast to stop. It was okay for Lightning, he had been in this situation before. However, Speed Racer hadn't. While Lightning zipped through the wreck like it was nothing, Speed Racer screamed in fright, smashing his hand onto Control A, blasting off into the air. It was...exhilarating! The breeze in his face, the adoring crowd. He was...drunk on the thrill and stuck his tongue out, it flapped in the wind. He looked to the right and saw two female cars screaming at him.
Laughing, Speed Racer winked at them. The Mach 5 started to fall, landing perfectly on four wheels, barely losing any speed. Lightning smiled as Speed Racer sped ahead of him.
"Enjoy that? Heh. Kid's got a lotta stuff." He said to himself. "Maybe I could teach him a thing or two...Once he eats my dust!"
75 Laps In...
Lightning was right on Speed Racer's tail, drafting off him like two dune bugs on a summer night. They took the 3rd corner, weaving in and out, through other cars. They smiled at each other, both trying to overtake the other. Lightning tapped Speed Racer's side. He started to slide but pushed Control B to keep steady.
"Heh. Not yet!" Lightning called out, activating his Nullifier. In an instant, Speed Racer's grip wheels broke apart, leaving nothing more than bare tyres in its wake. Almost spinning out of control, Speed Racer grunted and slammed his palm into Control G. Out from the back of the car, a small mechanical bird emerged.
It circled the Mach 5, waiting for instructions from Speed Racer. With a grimace plastered across his face, Speed Racer gripped a joystick to his right. The bird immediately stopped circling the car and turned to face Lightning, who gasped.
Speed Racer angled the joystick down, jerking the steering wheel to the left to turn a corner. The bird squawked, then divebombed Lightning. Yelling, McQueen jumped to the side, the bird's beak narrowly missing the 95 painted on Lightning's side. But the bird was quick, it twisted around, and dived once more, screeching.
Still yelling, Lightning jumped to the side, but this time a little too slow. The bird's wing scraped against his side, sparks flying from the impact, a grey line scratched right through his 95. That was the last straw. Groaning, a weapon emerged from Lightning's side, two bombs ready to be launched.
The bird let out a noise that sounded a little too close to a scream. The bombs flew up into the air...rising high above the racers...before falling, right onto the bird. A fireball larger than the track erupted from nothing, coating the track in smoke and fire. Lightning was enveloped in the smoke before everything went quiet.
Bob and Darrel were both looking on in horror. They couldn't see anything! They squinted, trying to see through the smoke and fire, but saw nothing.
"Bob, do you see Lightnin'?"
"No. It's quiet..." It was almost as if the race was put on pause. People were ready to cry out in horror. But their fears were unfounded because, with a whoop, Lightning jumped out of the smoke, bullets flying out ahead of him.
"Lightning's okay!"
"Yeah, ka-chow!" He shouted, drifting around the corner flawlessly, smoke billowing out from behind him. The bullets from his guns clattered against the Mach 5, burying itself in Speed Racer's helmet. He screamed, ready to swerve, but by then it was far too late. Three bullets lodged themselves in Speed Racer's tyre. A 'Bang!' told Speed Racer it was flat, the Mach 5 quickly losing control.
Screaming, Speed Racer winced. The Mach 5 slammed into the wall, spinning across the track, the car's rims digging into the asphalt, then the dirt, as Speed Racer spun out into the infield. Lightning drifted past Speed Racer on the track, smirking as he did so.
Groaning, Speed Racer planted his hands on the seat behind him and pushed off, flipping through the air, landing right in front of the back of the car, which he ripped open quickly.
Breathing heavily, he grabbed a tyre and an electric wrench, leaping towards the flat tyre. Panicked, Speed Racer unbolted the tyre, prying it away from the rim and throwing it away. He attached the new tyre and bolted it in place, leaping over his door, into his seat.
Lightning stared at the track ahead, completely oblivious of the Mach 5 speeding up behind him, the driver ready to overtake him and never look back. The two were done messing around, done helping each other. They wanted to win. With a grunt, Speed Racer threw the car to the right, smashing right into Lightning, knocking him into the wall, but he managed to stay controlled.
"Ka-chow!" Lightning said, activating his Magnetic Mine. A mine stuck itself to his back, and Speed Racer could've chuckled. Idiot. Now he would kill himself. Smirking, Lightning jumped to the left, smashing into the Mach 5. Speed Racer managed to keep steady, but Lightning was nowhere to be seen. He braked, slowing down until the Mach 5 held a decisive lead. Speed Racer pumped his fist in the air, whooping.
What he didn't know was that the mine was stuck to the Mach 5's back, ready to blow up at any moment. Beep! Beep! Beep! Speed Racer heard the noise seconds before it went off, burying his finger inside the button for Control D. The shield flashed over Speed Racer, almost cutting through the air.
The explosion rang out throughout the stadium, sending out a shockwave that almost knocked every car on the track into the grass. But when the smoke cleared, Speed Racer still held a decisive lead.
"What?! Oh, it's on now..." Lightning murmured, speeding up as much as he could.
125 Laps In
Lightning managed to overtake Speed Racer, smirking slightly as he drove past. The Mach 5 was inches behind him, as Speed Racer smashed his finger into Control C. Two rotary saws appeared out of the Mach 5's front, scraping into Lightning's back, who screamed and swerved to avoid it, allowing Speed Racer to speed up and gain a huge lead...
180 Laps In
Bombs crashed to the ground around Speed Racer, who lost control, flying to the infield quickly. Lightning overtook him quickly. He spun around, driving backwards to watch Speed Racer approach him once more, which he did quickly. They both stared at each other, glaring. Lightning and Speed's eyes were locked in a stare, daring each other to make the next move.
Then, they both reacted at the same time. Lightning flashed his sticker as Speed Racer pushed Control E, his headlights shone in Lightning's eyes, brighter than the sun. Both lights flashed in the racer's eyes, blinding them quickly. They both screamed, Lightning spinning around to face the right way, as Speed Racer jerked the steering wheel left, slamming into a wall.
Both racers spun out...again. Groaning, Lightning desperately crawled back onto the track, as Speed Racer sped up, on the brink of cursing. At the middle of the pack, both Lightning and Speed Racer had almost had enough...
190 Laps In
"Aw, here we go, Bob! 10 laps to go and baby, it all comes down to this! Keep an eye on Lightning, I think he's gonna pull off something crazy!"
"Don't count Speed Racer out yet, this may be Lightning's toughest competitor yet!" The red and white racecars were neck and neck, crossing the chequered flag. 10 laps...1 victor...One of them was going to leave a winner, the other would leave humiliated. Stressed, panicked and slower, Lightning was forced to watch Speed Racer slowly pull out ahead.
He sighed. It would all be over. He was naturally slower. But wait, if he was naturally slower, how was he slowly getting closer to Speed Racer? The lack of wind on his face told it all. He was drafting off of Speed Racer, who was too focused on the last 10 laps to care much about Lightning.
They took the corners pretty much the same way. Lightning directly behind him, waiting for the perfect opportunity to swerve and overtake Speed Racer. Breathing heavily, Speed Racer's knuckles turned white on the steering wheel, beads of sweat running down his face, visor cracked.
They took another corner, now was Lightning's opportunity. Grunting with the effort, Lightning turned to the inside, slowly inching ahead of the Mach 5. Inch, by inch, by inch. Glancing to the side, Speed Racer gasped as he saw Lightning pull out in front of him.
"No!" He cried, almost standing up with the force he pushed the pedal with. The Mach 5 caught up to Lightning easily, who's breathing was heavy and ragged, and he was pushing himself as much as he could. They were neck and neck once more.
Yelling with the effort, Lightning bashed into Speed Racer, almost making him lose control. Angry, Speed Racer activated the saws and jerked the steering wheel right, ready to cut the red racecar next to him. Gasping, Lightning jumped into the air with a grunt, the Mach 5 slamming into the wall knocked the wind out of Speed Racer's body, as Lightning flew through the air...past Speed Racer. He landed on the track ahead of him, crossing the finish line...
195 Laps In
Speed Racer was getting closer and closer to Lightning...the saws spinning quickly. With no grip tyres, Speed Racer was victim to an oil slick, caused by Lightning, who desperately clutched onto his lead. As Speed Racer slammed into the wall, his saws sliced into the wall. Suddenly, the wall caught the saws, ripping them from the Mach 5.
"Woah, woah, woah!" He yelled, twirling the steering wheel to stabilise, the car painted rubber across the road, detailing his pathway across the track. It looked a little like a jagged doughnut.
Breathing heavily, Lightning turned the corner, his tyres wearing thin. He ignored the feeling as he zoomed past the finish line, Speed Racer far behind him. Panic spread through his veins as he saw the red racecar far ahead of him. He couldn't lose! No! Slamming his foot into the accelerator, Speed Racer took off at full speed, the rumbling of his engine was as loud as a volcanic eruption, as he pushed the car to its limit.
The two racecars sped around the track...each of them barely overtaking the other at certain points of the race. 197 laps...198...
199 Laps In
"Oh boy, 199 laps and baby, it all comes down to this!" Whooped Darrel Cartrip, watching the last two racers speed around the first corner. Speed Racer was inching ahead of Lightning, who's breathing became even heavier.
"What's the matter? Overworking yourself?" Speed Racer taunted, rolling ahead of the racecar, who gasped. He needed to get ahead, now! Not taking his eyes off Speed Racer, Gatling guns emerged from either side of Lightning, and they started to spin...fast.
Bullets rocketed out of the gun at blazing speeds, crashing into the back of the Mach 5. Yelling, Speed Racer swerved to the left to avoid the bullets, slowing down and giving Lightning a crucial chance to pull ahead, and he took it. With a wink, Lightning sped off, the guns retreating back into his sides.
Gritting his teeth, Speed Racer sped forwards on the inside, keeping Lightning in his peripheral vision as much as he could. Three turns left...and they were approaching the second. Lightning knew that Speed Racer was approaching, and he had a plan. As he approached the turn, he changed his course for the inside in an instant, straining to swerve in front of Speed Racer.
SCREECH! Speed Racer had to slam on the brakes to avoid smashing into number 95, losing all of his momentum in the process. He was now metres behind. No...Only two turns left...
"Oh, McQueen slammed the door on him!" Cartrip explained loudly, mouth wide open.
"Speed Racer lost all of his momentum in one move. Can he catch up with only two turns left to go?"
"Come on, McQueen!" Lightning told himself, his tyres wearing all the thinner, ready to burst. Panicking, Speed Racer was slowly catching up, but he was getting nowhere close to getting ahead. Was it over? Did he lose?
"No. I can't lose hope! I can do this! I can win! Come on, Mach 5! Whenever there's a challenge, I've got to meet it!" With those encouraging words to himself, Speed Racer slammed on the pedal, tyres skidding on the road with the effort of trying t catch up.
The two of them took another turn...1 left. Speed Racer was close behind, Lightning started to get nervous. He can do this, he can win the Piston Cup. For Doc! A look of pure determination on his face, Speed Racer served to the right, open space to overtake McQueen. 1 turn left...They were both 1 turn away from winning the Piston Cup!
"I'm not so sure about his strategy here, Darrell." Bob Cutlass commented, watching Speed Racer approach the outside.
"Yeah, with those marbles out on the outside, it's a minefield! One wrong move and he'll crash, but the race is too close to call! Man, this is excitin'!" Speed Racer's car bumped along the road, almost losing control multiple times, but he could do this. He was the legendary Speed Racer, he could maneuver through anything!
Pressing his finger into Control A, the auto-jacks flung Speed Racer forwards, escaping the outside and landing right next to Lightning, who let out a small gasp.
There it was. The final turn. One of them had to make a move, or else risk losing! Lightning glanced over at Speed Racer and grunted, pushing his heels to their absolute limit. He pushed forwards, jumping ahead of the Mach 5, sparks flying into Speed Racer's helmet. The two of them took the inside of the turn, Speed Racer inches behind Lightning.
It was now or never. With a grunt, Lightning let lose the Spike Strips. They crashed to the ground...right in front of Speed Racer's tyres. Four loud bangs rang out through the stadium as Speed Racer's tyres were ripped apart by the spikes.
"Woah, woah, woah!" He cried, spinning the steering wheel to try and stabilise, but it was no use. Speed Racer spun out onto the infield, as the two racers exited the turn and entered the final straightaway of the race.
"Yes! Ka-chow!" Lightning cried as he sped towards the finish line...the exact second his tyre gave out. One last bang ripped through the track as Lightning's back-right tyre exploded, leaving just a red rim. Sparks flew everywhere as Lightning desperately tried to brake, the stabilising flaps on his roof deploying to stop himself from flipping.
Smoke billowing from the friction of trying to stop, Lightning slid across the finish line, rolling to a slow stop, as a mighty cheer from the crowd rose.
"Lightning McQueen just won the Piston Cup!" Darrel Cartrip screamed as the crowd went wild. Defeated, Speed Racer fell backwards, sighing slightly. Second place wasn't all bad. Smiling slightly, he climbed out of the Mach 5 and clapped along with the crowd, silently congratulating Lightning's victory.
K.O.?
Conclusion[]
Kaiya: Wh-Aww, come on! Where was the death?! We don't call it 'Death Battle' for nothing!
Counter: This was a very unique match-up, and also a very close match-up. Both Lightning and Speed Racer were near identical in physicality. Sure, the Mach 5 was a little faster, moving at 360 kilometres an hour compared to Lightning's 318 and Lightning was a little stronger, able to knock away and damage busses without any injuries, compared to the Mach 5 ramming through a steel door, but these differences were very minor and it was safe to say that they could pull off similar feats.
Damien: Speed Racer was tougher, though. The Mach 5 could survive house-sized explosions, something Lightning has never done before, but really, McQueen can survive tons of missiles blowing up in his face per race, so the difference was again, quite low.
Hannah: And while experience probably does go to Speed Racer, intelligence was a non-factor. So this battle mainly came down to both fighter's gadgets, and in that category, Speed Racer just couldn't match a lot of Lightning's weapons. Most of his Controls are defensive in nature and aren't fit for fighting, while Lightning has plenty of offensive weaponry as his disposal.
Kaiya: Speed Racer had jacks to allow him to jump, but Lightning could jump without aid, Speed Racer has all-terrain wheels, well, Lightning has oil slicks and Spike Strips to put the tyres in danger of being wrecked. Control C activates rotary saws? No worries, just use your extra maneuverability to avoid them!
Counter: Lightning's impressive racing techniques granted him more ways to move around Speed Racer to avoid anything he could throw at the gusty racecar, and could do a lot of things Speed Racer could without aid. The only thing really slowing McQueen down was the indestructible shield, but Lightning could counter that with his Nullifier, or he could just aim around the shield.
Damien: Sure, the Mach 5 could survive giant falls and massive explosions, but Lightning has enough bombs, guns and missiles to eventually crack the shell, and he even has weapons that Speed Racer has never seen before, such as Magnetic Mines and the High Voltage, which gives off an enormous electrical field. And again, that Nullifier can just destroy all of Speed Racer's weapons anyway, leaving him defenceless.
Hannah: Simply put, Lightning was just more convenient for the win. In some circumstances, Speed Racer could have reliably taken the victory. If we ran this match through 100 times, it's reasonable to say that Speed Racer would have won 40 or so of them.
Kaiya: And McQueen doesn't really need to worry about Speed Racer's speed advantage, as he's able to keep up with the next-gen racers from Cars 3, that are specifically designed to be faster than him.
Counter: While this match was far from one-sided and Speed Racer held many advantages over the red racecar, Lightning's weaponry, counters to anything Speed Racer could throw at him and sheer maneuverability turned the sides in his favour.
Kaiya: Sorry, Speed Racer, but when Lightning strikes, there's not much you can do about it. It is why they call it a 'natural disaster', after all.
Hannah: The winner is Lightning McQueen.
Original Track[]
