DESCRIPTION[]
RedDead35000
Rage. There are those who fear it. But what happens when our rage takes over?
INTRO[]
Boomstick: You know Wiz, horror movies and YouTube channels have taught me two things: One, don't look behind your back, or you'll die on the crapper. Two, I want to be a werewolf.
Wiz: So you want to have a monster within your soul, battling for control?
Boomstick: Like Bruce Banner, The Incredible Hulk.
Wiz: And Sonic the Werehog, Sonic as... a werewolf version of a hedgehog.
Boomstick: Seriously?
Wiz: For this battle, we will be not be using the MCU version of the Hulk.
Boomstick: Yeah, that one's kind of a puss. Anyway, he's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
SONIC THE WEREHOG HOWLS INTO DEATH BATTLE[]
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Wiz: We all know the blue blur known as the legendary Sonic the hedgehog.
Boomstick: Yeah, but there's a bunch of stuff you don't know about, like Shadow the Hedgehog, Sonic's psycho fangirl or that SONIC HAS A SECRET GIRLFRIEND?!
Wiz: Are you talking about the Sonic anime OVA movie?
Boomstick: SHE WAS SITTING ON METAL SONIC'S FACE WIZ! WHAT KIND OF GIRLFRIEND IS THAT?!
Wiz: I'll take that as a yes. Anyway, Sonic has been known to bright and colorful. But Sonic has a darkside.
Boomstick: Yeah, Dr. Eggman built a Super Sayian vaccuum that he used to tried to suck the Super Sayian out of Sonic.
Wiz: It wasn't a Super Sayian vaccuum, it was a machine that tried to take away the power of Chaos Control from Sonic!
Boomstick: Same thing Wiz. He's glowing, he's yellow. Same thing.
Wiz: Except Eggman shot at the planet he was on with a laser so powerful, it unleashed a being called the Dark Gaia. While Sonic was extremly close to the Dark Gaia's eruption out of the planet, he became infected with a disease that can turn him into a werehog only at night, when the Dark Gaia's presence is strongest.
Boomstick: Yeah... Story time's over! So what he do?!
Wiz: Well, in this form, Sonic's body trades speed for uncontrolable anbridled strength. He can't run as fast as he used to, but can run on all fours. He still manages to still have control over his beastly self, despite his actions seem rather... vicious and savage.
He can a feral form of hand to hand combat, and hit his enemies very, very hard. Sonic can deal a great amount of pain, but it has to be focused to a direct area.
. Sonic the Werehog . ♪ Monster ♫-0
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Boomstick: He can even make shields, and stretch his limbs like a cartoon character. Wiz, does he have toon force?!
Wiz: No, toon force is only applied to actual cartoon characters like The Mask, Bugs Bunny, or He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named.
Boomstick:... Oh! You mean deadpo--
Wiz: DO. NOT. SAY. THAT. NAME. EVER.
Boomstick:.. Anyway, Werehog has a ton of feats, like overpowering the Super Sayian vaccuum without the power of the Chaos Emeralds!
Wiz: He's fought ghosts, destroyed Eggman's ship, he's even considered to be faster and stronger than classic Sonic, whose greatest feat was over 3 terratons of TNT and can dodge beams of light.
Boomstick: What ever you do, don't piss off the Werehog...
THE INCREDIBLE HULK SMASHES DEATH BATTLE[]
Wiz: Doctor Bruce Banner was a mild-mannered but brilliant scientist working in the field of Gamma radiation.
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Boomstick: He had it all. A loving girlfriend, a good job working for the government, and an... imaginary friend?!
Wiz: This imaginary friend, was created when Bruce was a child while being abused by his father, David.
Boomstick: David was kind of a dick, and TRIED TO MURDER HIS SON! WHAT THE HELL WIZ?!
Wiz: Yes, that is terrible, but not as bad as the effect this left on young Bruce. He created an imaginary friend to cope with the anger.
Boomstick: And when he says cope, he means just put the anger with the imaginary friend.
Wiz: Over time, this caused Bruce's mild-manneredness, until one faithful day.
Boomstick: Stop us if you've heard this one. Some dumb kid runs out into a Gamma test sight to play harmonica. A scientist runs out and gets him to safety, only for the scientist to get blasted to hell with Gamma rays.
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Wiz: In that moment, Bruce's imaginary friend became real. A force of destruction more powerful than any before, and filled with nothing but rage. BRUCE BANNER WAS NOW, THE INCREDIBLE HULK.
Boomstick: Then he turned into Mark Ruffilo, became a giant pussy and started reminding us of the horrible 90's trends that NEED TO DIE...
Wiz: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! We're using Comic Book Hulk. Not MCU Hulk.
Boomstick: OH HELL YES!!
Wiz: Yes is correct, as the Hulk is one of the strongest beings in the Marvel Universe. As we've stated before, he can lift a 150,000,000,000 ton continent for about a minute, and can escape Earth's gravitiational pull with a single jump.
Boomstick: He's nearly strangled Giant Man with a hug to his neck, and broke his leg!
Wiz: This feat alone would require 4,800 pounds of force! And that's not even his full potential.
Boomstick: Yeah, he took down Doctor Strange... IN HIS OWN MIND! Along with Black Bolt, while Black Bolt while he was SCREAMING AT THE HULK'S FACE!!
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Wiz: Black Bolt can destroy 10,000,000,000 cubic feet of earth with just a whisper! Imagine how powerful a scream from Black Bolt is.
Boomstick: Heh. Just like when I punched you one time, and you squealed like a little gi-
Wiz: Aside from that, Hulk's flesh is indestructible. Well, mostly indestructible. He can survive being in lava, being stabbed by Wolverine, and even go 1 on 1 with the Sentry. He also knows the Thunderclap technique, which is basically a giant clap that can destroy virtually anything.
Boomstick: Hey Wiz! Don't forget the best part of the Hulk.
Wiz: Of course. While the Hulk takes control while Bruce is angry, but Bruce can limit the Hulk's rage. But when Banner releases all control, he becomes a Worldbreaker.
Boomstick: As the Worldbreaker Hulk, he can stomp his feet so loud, he can cause earthquakes hundreds of miles away. While in this state, he CAN FIGHT THE SENTRY AND ALMOST DESTROY NEW YORK!! HOLY SHIT!!!
Hulk Smash!!!
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Wiz: Yeah. And to top it off, he's immortal.
Boomstick: WHAT THE HELL?! HOW IS HE IMMORTAL?!
Wiz: Well, this is the Devil Hulk. If Banner is killed, you better hope it's not nighttime. He will come back to life, and turn into the Hulk. Even when his body was chopped up into pieces he--
Boomstick: Pulled himself back together and ate a guy... Ewwww... Hardcore. But still. Eww.
PRE-BATTLE[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, and we've run the data through all possiblities.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!!
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DEATH BATTLE[]
(Bruce Banner goes to a diner. He orders piece of pie. He goes into the bathroom and washes his face. Looking in the mirrior he asks himself one question.)
Bruce: I'm not a bad person, am I?
HULK (in Bruce's reflection): WHAT DO YOU THINK?
(In space, Dr. Eggman's ship comes to earth, and holds up a scanner.)
Dr. Eggman: I think I found the source of the radiation! Now I can drain the gamma radiation and finish my NEW GAMMA SONIC, TO KILL THAT DISGUSTING RODENT.
(In a smaller ship, Eggman traveled to the diner. Banner looks out the window with wide eyes as he sees Eggman's ship.)
Bruce (Whispering): Oh shit.
(Finishes his coffee and walks out of the diner fairly quickly.)
Dr. Eggman: You there! Stop in the name in Dr. Eggman!
(Points to Banner. Bruce tries not to laugh at Eggman, in fear of releasing the Hulk.)
Bruce: I'm sorry, what was your name?
Dr. Eggman: I am Dr. Eggman, the rightful ruler of the universe, starting with this earth, and with YOU.
Bruce: Why me?
Dr. Eggman: Because your body is filled with gamma radiation, which I need for my newest robot.
(Sonic jumps out from behind some bushes and attacks Eggman. The villian pulls out a laser pistol and shoots Banner in the chest while trying to shoots Sonic. Then, the sun sets.)
Sonic: Oh no. Not now!
(Sonic starts to turn into the Werehog. Banner holds up his hand to touch what's left of the sunlight, only for the sun to disappear, and Bruce dies only for his skin to start turning green.)
Werehog: AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HULK: RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FIGHT!!!
(Hulk and Werehog run at each other, Werehog scratching Hulk's eyes out. Green blood pures down his face. Werehog stretches his arm and punches his arm through Hulk's chest, ripping out his heart.)
Dr. Eggman: Oh crap! I gotta get out of here!!
(He gets into his ship, and flies to orbit, where the larger ship. Werehog jumps up and grabs his ship and ripping it apart.)
Dr. Eggman: SHOOT THE BEAST SHOOT THE BEAST SHOOT THE BEAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scratch: Which one?!
Dr. Eggman: What do you mean--
(Eggman looks and sees Hulk jumping at Werehog. Hulk grabs werehog and rips his heart out of werehog's hand, and puts it back in his chest.)
Werehog: GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR???
HULK: WHAT DO YOU THINK?!
Werehog: RRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Hulk and Werehog continue to scratch and punch each other as they hold on to Eggman's ship. Eggman ejects and flies into the large ship. Eggman watches as the smaller ship flies into the large ship with Hulk and Werehog. Hulk grabs Werehog and runs him through several walls. He then pulls a piece of metal out and stabs Werehog.)
Werehog: RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Hulk and Werehog punch and claw each other alot til they reach the ship's core. Eggman escapes the large ship, and then the explosion happens due to the fight between the two behemeths. Hulk and Werehog fall through the sky, Werehog extends his arm grabbing Hulk. Hulk grabs a piece of debre and throws it at Werehog, and it smashes against him, causing Werehog to bleed from his head. Everything crashes into the small town, leveling buildings in its wake.)
Werehog (Breaking out of debre): AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hulk: RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(breaks out of debre.)
ULGY DOG SMASH TOWN, BUT HULK...
BREAK WORLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Hulk turns into the Worldbeaker and lifts his hands into the air.)
Hulk:HULK! SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Hulk smashes the ground, while the Werehog charges as the Hulk levels everything that wasn't leveled before. Werehog goes to stab the Hulk, but then Hulk uses the Thunderclap on werehog's head, killing his opponent.)
Hulk: SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Hulk turns back into Banner. Bruce lays awake, and pulls himself into the next town, and sits down at a nearby grocery store, holding his hands out for change. As a little boy gives him a few cents in change, he asks him a single question.)
Bruce: I'm not a bad person, am I?
Boy: What do you think?
POST BATTLE[]
Wiz: Well, that was... unique.
Boomstick: Unique?! Holy shit, Wiz! He destroyed Werehog's head with a clap!! Also, how are his pants still on?!
Wiz: Werehog had a lot of atvantages, like stretchable arms, a powerful anger and but what Werehog lacked, Hulk had tenfold.
Boomstick: Sure, Sonic fought the Egg Dragoon, but he destroyed it's modifyed version, known as Egg Dragoon MK. II in HIS BASIC FORM!!
Wiz: While Hulk has fought the Absorbing Man, who was full of gamma radiation, sucking it out of Hulk, Hulk's even gone as far as to fight and beat the She-Hulk, who is just as strong, if not stronger than her cousin. Even with the
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devil Hulk, his healing factor becomes stronger hundredfold. And his strength is potentially limitless, as the more anger he has, the more stronger he becomes.
Boomstick: In the end, all that mattered was what they could dish out, and who could take more. In this case, Hulk could dish up what Werehog couldn't.
Wiz: Huh. You didn't make a pun.
Boomstick: I'm Gamma have to give this one the Hulk.
Wiz:...... The Winner is the Hulk.
NEXT TIME ON DEATH BATTLE[]
What you want, is IMPOSSIBLE!!
You're going to kill me so Superman can't?
ADAM TAURUS VS. LEX LUTHOR
IF THIS BATTLE HAD A SCORE[]
Title: I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER
Composer: Brendan Yates