Interlude[]
Wiz: Ah, the U.S.A. the United States of A-
Boomstick: America! FUCK YEAH!
Wiz:....
Boomstick: What?
Wiz: As I was saying, the United States of America. known for liberty, freedom, obesity and bad ass fighters!
Boomstick: Like the soldier, the American class.
Wiz: And Captain America, the defender of his country!
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skill to find out who would win a death battle?
Captain America[]
Boomstick: Alright! Captain America! The most bad ass American hero of America with nothing but pure American back story! Every part of him is American! He is the true American-
Wiz: His parents we're Irish.
Boomstick: ...wha-
Wiz: As I was saying, Steve Rogers, born to an Irish Family, surprisingly, had his father died when he was a child, followed by his mother getting killed when he was in his teens. Just getting them out of the way. We all knew the parent's death was imminent!
Boomstick: Then when the Nazis ransacked Europe, Steve attempted to join the army, only to be rejected. However, the U.S. Army gave him the opportunity to become the first super soldier, in Operation Rebirth!
Wiz: He then assigned to take on Nazi leader, Red Skull and since then, he dawned the suit of red, white and blue of Captain America!
Captain America is an expert in hand to hand combat, and mastered himself in several forms of hand technique such as martial arts, Kung Fu, even boxing! He is also an advanced military operator, a swordsman, marksman and master acrobatic!
Boomstick: But aside from Mcdonalds, Captain America's main weapon is his shield!
Wiz: His shield, weighing 12 pounds and being 2.5 meters in diameter, his shield is made out of a substance, as well as his suit. Say it with me.
Boomstick: A material
Wiz: Lighter
Boomstick: and more powerful
Both: Than titanium!
Wiz: Captain America's only weapon is his shield, The Shield was cast by American metallurgist Dr. Myron MacLain, who was contracted by the U.S. government to create an impenetrable substance to use for tanks during World War II. Because of this, The shield has great aerodynamic properties: it is able to slice through the air with minimal wind resistance and deflection of path. Its great overall resilience, combined with its natural concentric stiffness, enables it to rebound from objects with minimal loss of angular momentum. It is, pretty much, virtually indestructible: it is resistant to penetration, temperature extremes, and the entire electromagnetic spectrum of radiation. However, it still has shown to be destroyed quite often!
Boomstick: And if that's not enough. He also has a motorcycle, yet he still decides to hijack cars!
Wiz: But even though Captain America is a force to be reckoned with, he is far from perfect! Despite his powerful suit and shield, Captain America is still a human, so drowning, burning, bullets, blades, and so on, can technically kill him.
Boomstick: But getting through that helmet for a face stab? luck O' the Irish to you on that!
"I'm... Captain America."
Soldier[]
Wiz: After being rejected in fighting in World War 2
Boomstick: Who does that remind me of?
Wiz: he ended up buying his personal ticket to Europe, he started training himself in a variety of weapons before embarking on a Nazi killing spree for which he was awarded several medals that he designed and made himself. His rampage ended immediately upon hearing about the end of the war in 1949.
Boomstick: Damn. I bet the military felt stupid about rejecting him then!
Wiz: The Soldier has a large arsenal of weapons at his disposal, like the Rocket Launcher,a powerful explosive attack that can allow the Soldier to get amazing heights in the air, the shotgun a semi range attack, and the shovel capable of breaking someone's skull in!
Boomstick: And you think that's the end? Hell no!
Wiz: That's right! There's also the Direct Hit, allowing the Soldier faster rockets and more power and anyone sent flying from the blast at the cost of less effectiveness in water. The B.A.S.E. jumper., a parachute.
Boomstick: The Black Box, one that can heal the Soldier but has a much smaller clip size.
Wiz: The Rocket Jumper. One for launching him into the air higher, dealing no damage to the Soldier, but also not to anyone else.
Boomstick: Then there's the fucking Cow Mangler 5000! Capable of firing deadly energy shots that don't require ammo!
Wiz: and speaking of lasers, there's the Righteous Bison, which is like a portable version of the Cow Mangler except it can go right through enemies and can not be deflected at all!
Boomstick: And lastly, there's the Half-Zatoichi, capable of completely fucking healing the Soldier whenever used.
Wiz: The only downside to the Zatoichi is that the weapon is Honorbound, meaning that he cannot withdraw the weapon until it has been used to kill!
Boomstick: But hey, this guy does so much killing, I don't think that's a problem to him!
Soldier: If God had wanted you to live, he would not have created me!
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
Death Battle[]
It shows the Red Team going through Dustbowl the team we're nearing a capture point, Soldier in the front of them, until he saw a shield coming his way and dodged to his left. His allies though did not see it in time and when the Soldier got up notices the decapitations of the rest of his crew.
Soldier: Who the hell could have done that in such time?
He then turns back and notice Captain America, now holding a rather blood soaked shield.
Captain America: Me.
Soldier is surprised and first, followed by angry as he gets into a fighting stance followed by Captain America doing the same.
Fight!
Captain America got on his motorcycle and went straight for the Soldier. He retaliated by jumping out of his way, but the Captain blocked it with his shield. The Soldier, with his window of opportunity, fired at the motorcycle as he was turning around. Captain America didn't notice until the last second as he flown off the motorcycle. He lands back on his feet, though the cycle is destroyed!
Soldier: Get over her and fight me like an American!
Captain America then ran back to the soldier, who got out his shovel,. They go on trading blows in a fist on Shovel Fight, they trade blows, until the Soldier knocks his fellow American on the ground, now with a shotgun in his mouth.
Soldier: You are a disgrace to the colors of Red, White and Blue!
But before he can pull the trigger, Captain America reaches out for his shield. Now with it reequipped, he knocks Soldier to the side, making the shotgun falling on the ground and break into two.
Captain America: First Avenger: Fight on the flight deck (0:26)
Soldier then gets out his Rocket Launcher again, he fires thrice, each time, with the Captain jumping out of the way. He then quickly switches to the Direct Hit, firing in the area Captain America jumps to, resulting it hitting his chest piece, knocking the Captain limp to the ground. He stays there for only a half second, but gets up. Soldier then fires at him with the Black Box. Captain blocked it with the shield, but he regained the health he lost from the shield. Captain America then tries to retaliate by throwing his shield at him, until the Soldier pulls out Righteous Bison which manages to cut right through the shield, leaving it in pieces as the captain ducks away from the still moving blast. Looking back at the Soldier, he is now equipped with the Cow Mangler 5000. Captain America, knowing it would be a bad idea to take him head on with a weapon like that, he then notices the large structure they we're fighting aside and starts jumping his way up.
Soldier: Hey! Get back here, hippy!
Captain America's theme (0:16)
Soldier rocket jumps up to where he see's Captain America overlooking a cliff.
Captain America: Perfect place...
Soldier: for you to take a fall!
The captain turns around astonished that the Soldier is already up to where he is. He fires the Mangler at his lower region, knocking him off. The Soldier follows him down, using the B.A.S.E. jumper to float down after him.Captain gets up weekly, he looks up to find the Soldier, dislodged from the Jumper and now falling at him with the Half-Zatoichi, but the Captain rolls out of the way.
Soldier: Damn you, Honor bounds!
Soldier starts wiping at Captain with the knife. Only for him to retaliate by lunging at Soldier, pinning him to the ground and throwing several punches in his direction, all of them hitting.
Captain America: I am the defender of America. You are barely worth my...
he was cut off when the Soldier slipped his hand out of the Captain's grasp and lodged it in his throat
Soldier: You are a disgrace to America!
He yanks the knife out of him and drops it, proving the Captain's dead, as the stab also healed up the bruises.
K.O.
-Captain's body is seen lying motionless.
-Soldier gives one last final solute to his deceased team mates before walking off.
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: What brave American Men, killing each other!
Wiz: This was actually a rather close match, Captain America had better speed, was smarter and had more agility, but the main thing that helped Soldier win was his arsenal.
Boomstick: The soldier had weapons to combat his speed, his armor and even his shield!
Wiz: While the costume can offers a MEDIUM level of blast resistance, it was no match for the Mangler. Not to mention, that the Righteous Bison can not be deflected by anything and can go through targets. Including Captain's shield.
Boomstick: Soldier was just a cut above the Marvel hero!
Wiz: The winner is the Soldier!
Next time on Death Battle[]
A purple curtain is seen in pitch black darkness, a pirate hook is seen around one end, and a red cannon with a skull on the other end