Smash Bros. Old School Battle Royal is a what-if? episodes of Death Battle featuring Mr. Game & Watch, Pac-Man, Duck Hunt and R.O.B.
Description[]
The Smash Brothers form the 80s are all in the arena for a final match between the four! Who is the true Old-School master?
Interlude[]
Wiz: The Smash Brothers games host characters form many era of gaming.
Boomstick: But these four are easily the elder Video Game character. Pac-man, the King of the Arcade.
Wiz: Mr. Game & Watch, the Master of Two Dimensions.
Boomstick: Duck Hunt, the most annoying dog in the world.
Wiz: And R.O.B. the savior of Video Games.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our jobs to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who will win, a Death Battle!!!
Mr. Game & Watch[]
(Cue Flat Zone)
Boomstick: Mr. Game & Watch is... huh... Wiz! What is that thing?
Wiz: Mr. Game & Watch is a resident of the Superflat world, a world where everyone is flat and monochrome.
Boomstick: Why do you say it like it was normal?!
Wiz: Though Mr. Game & Watch have an arsenal far form normal. Thorough his many jobs and adventure, &W has gained many object that he uses as a weapon.
Boomstick: He can headbutt people with his diver helmet, hit them with a package, a key, giant hammer, chair, manhole cover, torches, frying pan, fish bowls? Living turtles? What the heck?
Wiz: He can fires food projectiles form the aforementioned frying pan, and don't be fooled, these things hurts. By summoning two firefighters, he can lunches himself skyhigh and damage everyone who get in his way. He also got a parachute to soften the landing.
Boomstick: But his two deadliest weapons are his bucket and hammer. He can absorb any energy projectiles and explosion and use it to throw deadly waves of OIL at his opponent. And then there is the deadly hammer. Its strength depend on the random number selected.
Wiz: The Number One barely scratch his opponent and damages him greatly. The Number Two is not very strong, but it can makes the foe trip, leaving them vulnerable. The Number Three will approach the opponent to G&W, making it useful for combo. The Number Four is just a regular attack. The Number Five is a multi-hit electric attack. The Number Six will burn the foe. The Number Seven will drop an apple that G&W can eat to heal himself. The Number Eight will freeze his opponent.
Boomstick: And then there is the sweet Number Nine! It will destroy any opponent it hit and will send them to their doom.
Wiz: Mr. Game & Watch can jump four times his height in a single jump, smashes brick with his fist, juggle with his opponent, have amazing acrobatic skills and superhuman strength, has slayed dragons, fought giant octopus and can even turn into one. G&W also got an Hylian Shield and his own Master Sword, who can fire laser when is is healthy enough.
Boomstick: While you may think that being 2D mean that he will cut through the ground by just standing on it, but he seem pretty okay to be standing on the ground or even grabbing 3D object like that.
Wiz: But his species as a Flat Zoner give him many advantage over three-dimensional being. He is very hard to hit in certain angle and he can fit in practically any crack. He as no sense of evil or good. But as any Game & Watch creature, he move frames-by-frames at near light speed, making him unpredictable by any mortal ways. This also let him displace his whole body in a quarter of a second, making it almost like he can teleport.
Boomstick: But where does he keep all of this stuff on him? In fact, what the heck he is composed of?
Wiz: Mr. Game & Watch is apparently composed of a primordial substance know as the Shadows Bugs. They are present in infinite quantity inside G&W. They can be used to takes the form of dark monsters known as the Subspace army.
Boomstick: But the shadows blob can also be used to copy a combatant and create a shadow version of them. They can even get bigger by using more shadows bugs to make them.
Wiz: Since G&W himself is made of shadows bugs, he can dissolve into shadows bugs and reform itself or make new weapons out of it. This means that G&W can morph into any others Flat Zone object or being and also into others previously copied fighter like Bowser, Zelda, Peach and Diddy Kong.
Boomstick: But since these things are pretty easy to send away, he can only copy an unconscious opponent.
Wiz: But that doesn't stop the Master of Two Dimensions form being the most respected Nintendo character of all times.
Beep Boop Beep Boop
Duck Hunt[]
(Cue Duck Hunt Medley)
Boomstick: Tell me Wiz, since when did this show went form Death Battle to Curb-Stomp Battle? Because right now we are pitting a dog and a duck against the physical embodiment of a whole dimension and the root of all evil.
Wiz: Don't underestimate these two just because they look useless. They are both very capable fighter.
Boomstick: Yeah apparently this little duck is strong enough to carry the dog for a short distance. And as a dog, the dog bite really hard an can run pretty fast.
Wiz: The Dog has the strange ability to summon 8-bit Gunmen at will. They will usually shoot then disappear but they can be used to block attacks.
Boomstick: Even if the Duck doesn't look like much, his peck attack really hurts, and he is much faster than a normal Duck.
Wiz: One of his greatest asset however is his final smash. When he activates it, a flock of ducks comme in, takes his foes away to a rocky canyon. The poor victim is then shot by a group of Gunmen until they are ejected out the canyon back to the battlefield.
Boomstick: Holy shit, that's brutal for a goddamn Dog.
Wiz: But this duo is not alone, they are accompanied by a mysterious offscreen shooter.<
Boomstick: This unknown man will shoot anywhere the Dog want to, but the bullet doesn't seem that lethal, since they can't kill a simple duck. But they still hurt.
Wiz: The Dog can throw a Clay Pigeon and an explosive barrel that the Shooter will shoot along with any foes caught in the fire.
Boomstick: Though the Shooter as limited range around the Dog and he will stop fighting if the twos animals are out.
Wiz: But this trio is certainly worth it's infamous reputation.
Bark Quack Boom!
R.O.B.[]
(Cue Gyromite Music)
Wiz: Once upon a times, it existed a floating island only inhabited by a colony of robot, led by the Robot Master named R.O.B. These machines were living peacefully, until tragedy struck.
Boomstick: The evil wire frame thing named Tabuu took over the island and took hostages the entire race of robot. He then forced the Robot Master to work for him, under the disguise of the Ancient Minister. The ancient minister had to rip space and times and give it to his master until a group of smasher came to stop him.
Wiz: But after the attack on the island, it was destroy by a thousand Subspace Bomb blown up at the same time. With his whole race now extinct, R.O.B. now only had one thing left to do.
Boomstick: Enter the Super Smash Brothers tournament and kick other people ass of course! And as a robot, he is quite good at it.
Wiz: He has laser beam, whose power depends on the time he has charged it. At minimal, it's a weak and short ranged laser pulse but at max power, it is a very wide and powerful beam.
Boomstick: He can charges up little Gyro that act as projectile against opponent, and he can uses his arm rotor to attack and reflect projectile back where they came form.
Wiz: He is equipped with a propulsor that he can uses either to fly or burn enemies, but it need charging to be used as the fuel will burn out.
Boomstick: But his two most powerful attack are his two final smashes. He has the Diffusion Beam, where he enter an invulnerable states and his eyes constantly shoot a short ranged but devastating laser, which sometimes fires a more powerful burst that send the opponent flying.
Wiz: But if he needs more fire power, he can upgrade it to the Super Diffusion Beam. It fires a short range concentrated laser attack, before sending his opponent away with a final burst.
Boomstick: Even if it size make him easy to attack, this is one ass-kicking toys.
*8-bit sound*
Pac-man[]
(Cue PAC-MAN (Club Mix))
Wiz: In a land called Pac-Land lives a hero named Pac-man.
Boomstick: But seriously, who doesn't know about Pacman? He is like THE video game character, the icon of gaming itself!
Wiz: But does that fame make him a great warrior.
Boomstick: Well I guess that's the reason we are here. Like in his original form, his main method of inflicting pain is chomping people. He can turn back into his round eyeless form and fly while chomping everything in his way.
Wiz: As a projectile weapon, he can throw various fruit and a spaceship at his opponent, fires a Pac-Dot like a bullet to his opponent or summon a Fire-Hydrant that either fires water of fire.
Boomstick: Because a fire-hydrant emitting fire is totally logical.
Wiz: He can bring opponent closer to him using a tractor beam out of his hand, summon ghost for melee attack and summon a trampoline for a jump boost.
Boomstick: But like any good Video Game character, Pacman has many power-up at his disposal.
Wiz: He can shrink himself using a shrink pellet, he can gain thunder power or use the Ribbon Ring pellet, where he leave an afterimage that will shrink and squash any opponent caught inside it.
Boomstick: By eating giant Power Pellet, he can become a giant two-dimensional version of himself and will chomp through anything in his path.
Wiz: But different power pellet can give him upgraded form, like the chameleon who grant him invisibility, the ice berry, the fire berry, titanium berry where he gain magnetic power, giant berry, granite berry, wind berry, arachnid berry, kong berry, brain berry and speed berry.
Boomstick: But his strongest form of all is certainly the Planet Berry. When he eats it, he become a giant Pac-Planet! While it is his most powerful, he can't turn back into normal unless he eat a shrinking berry.
Wiz: Also Pacman is far form being a strategist, but he still maintain his title as the Arcade Master.
Wakakakakaka
Pre-Fight[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
Fight[]
A meadow near a forest.
Robot part fall down form the sky, eventually forming R.O.B.
A yellow circle appear, a slice of it disappear and then Pacman jump out of it.
A Game & Watch land on the ground, and Mr. Game & Watch frame-by-frame out of it.
A patch of grass appear on the battlefield, with Duck Hunt coming out of it.
FIGHT
(Cue Courtesy)
Duck Hunt is the one starting the fight by lunging at R.O.B. and biting him in the neck while the Duck peck him on his face, but the robot knock him away with his Arm Rotor. They then start mauling each others. At the other side of the field, G&W is using his trampoline horizontally to charge at Pacman using his helmet. Pacman is knocked away, but he land on his feet. He then takes on his mouth form and charge at G&W, but the latter blow him away before jumping on him and start hitting him with his bell. R.O.B. takes flight start shooting laser at Duck Hunt dodge them, while the Duck goes after R.O.B. and takes him to the ground.The Dog then shoot a barrel at R.O.B. but he reflect it back at him, while the gunner shoot the barrel away form the Dog.
R.O.B. is about to ram at the Dog, but he is knocked away by G&W who was throw away by Pacman. Pacman in his fire form comes near the two and lunches a burst of fire at them, but they both dodges it. The Gunman then shoot down Pacman while the duo jumps at him. G&W uses the distraction to uses Judge on R.O.B. The result is... 1... R.O.B. then turn around and blast G&W away. Duck Hunt jumps at Pacman, but he is shot by a Pac-Dot midair. Pacman gets up and takes his chameleon form and turns invisible. The Dog look around to see Pacman, but suddenly a Fire Hydrant appear next to him and blows him away with water. The Dog get on his feet and destroy the Fire Hydrant with a barrel. The Dog smell Pacman and jumps on him and bite him in the face.
On the other side, G&W and R.O.B. are still fighting, but G&W have a clear advantage and smack R.O.B. away at Duck Hunt and Pacman. R.O.B. gets up and start transforming into his Super Diffusion Beam form. The others flee away form the scene except for G&W who just stand there. When R.O.B. finally fires the beam, G&W duck under it all the way until the final burst, but then G&W bucket it, nullifying the attack. G&W then gets behind R.O.B. and drops the oil on him, sending him flying near Duck Hunt. Before R.O.B. gets up, a bunch of ducks comes in and takes R.O.B. away. When he finally comes back at the battlefield, he is completly destroyed by all the bullet thrown at him. Duck Hunt the comes out form behind R.O.B. corpse, laughing.
(Cue Otis)
Mr. Game & Watch runs at Duck Hunt and rams him using his helmet and proceed to smack him with a package. But before he can continue the beating, he narrowly dodges an ice attack send by Pacman. He continue firing ice blast, but G&W dodges every single one of them excepet the last ones, which G&W simply bucket and throws it back at Pacman, who then loses his transformation. As G&W runs at Pacman, the latter turns into his Granite form and charge at G&W too. But before he can reach him, he is smashed down by G&W's hammer who proceed to combo the hell out of him until he is smashed away and loses his transformation. While Pacman is away, he uses his shadows bugs to copy R.O.B. Pacman lands near Duck Hunt, who shoots him away. But as he approach G&W, a shadow stands behind, a shadow who then grows about 4 times it's size. Duck Hunt is suddenly eaten form behind as it's eye flies away. Pacman then heads toward G&W. Mr. Game & Watch try to slow Pacman down by throwing random shit at him, but to no avail. But before he can be eaten, he grows tentacle and punch Pacman away with them until Pacman transform back.
(Cue Focus)
Pacman then takes his Titanium form. He then approach G&W, but the 2D blob shoots a laser stolen form R.O.B, and then jump at him using his hammer Judge. The result is...9! Pacman is knocked away and smashes into a tree, cutting it in half. Suddenly, a giant Pacman surges form the forest. Paczilla was now rampaging. As the giant monster comes near G&W, he generates a tons of Shadows Bugs and reinsert them into his body, making him giant to the size of Pacman. The twos titans then dukes it out, hitting each others mercilessly. G&W suddenly gets up his hammer and whacks Pacman with it. G&W then takes a tree and throw it at Pacman, who just eat it whole. The twos then engage in a fist fight that G&W wins with his superior striking speed. Mr. Game & Watch then finishes up Pacman with his giant torches that send Pacman in orbit.
(Cue Super Hexagonest)
Mr. Game & Watch retakes his normal form, but then, he sees something strange, unsettling, scary. Pacman was growing in size, to the point where he became a planet himself! Pacman then slowly approach the planet as G&W start mass-producing Shadows Bugs. When Pacman finally reaches the earth, his mouth is stopped by two giants tentacles, who pushes him out. The giant octopus comes out the earth and face with Pac-Planet. The lliving planet charges at the Octopus, but the animal knocks him out the way and then keep punching him with tentacles. The Octopus then grabs the moon and whacks Pac-Planet with it, but he resist the attack. The Octopus then grabs Pac-Planet with its 8 tentacles and start carrying him. Passing close to Venus and Mercury, both of them then pummels towards the Sun to their dooms.
Back at the Earth, G&W happily eats popcorn, watching the Sun.
KO
Mr. Game & Watch does an happy dance with the shadows clones of his former friends.
Post-Fight Analysis[]
Boomstick: Well that took way more epics proportion than I though it would.
Wiz: R.O.B. is a really strong opponent with his varied arsenal, but most of his projectiles either needed charging to be effective or had a very short range.
Boomstick: Duck Hunt had complete control with the Gunman's bullet and could easily outmatch the slow and bulky R.O.B.
WIz: But in the end, they were just animals. Pacman had much more powerful powerups that could easily overpower everyone, including his Pac-Planet form.
Boomstick: But the real deal came with the two dimensional being. His instant movement and much more powerful melee weapon could overpower and out-maneuver everyone. Not to mention that his bucket would nullify not only R.O.B.'s lasers but also some of Pac-Man's power-ups. It's worth noting too that G&W was the oldest of the group.
Wiz: Even if Pacman could become much stronger with his berries, Mr. Game & Watch could either overpower him using the Shadows Bugs created monsters or clones or simply grows in size to match Pacman's power.
Boomstick: It looks it was a flat-out win for G&W.
Wiz: The winner is Mr. Game & Watch.
