Sly Cooper vs. Taka is a What-If? Death Battle featuring Sly Cooper, the protagonist of the series of the same name, and Taka, a hero from the game VainGlory. This page was created by GalacticAttorney.
Description
Sony vs. Super Evil Megacorp! Two animal ninjas, one a thief and one an assassin, meet in combat! Can Major Muggshot outfox the fox in a box?
Intro
Wiz: Ninjas. They are the movement in the night, the falling blades in the darkness. What could possibly ever live up to the standards they've set?
Boomstick: Animal ninjas, of course!
Edgeworth: I predict furries in the comments below...
Morrigan: Well, at least that means there'll be plenty of lewd.~
Papyrus: LEWD? WHAT'S THAT?
Edgeworth: ...That isn't something I should need to tell you, Mr. Papyrus.
Morrigan: Oh?~ Don't worry, Papy... I'll be sure to give your bones a jump sooner or later.~
Papyrus: ...UH... WHAT?
Boomstick: ...Err, anyway... It's Sly Cooper, the prodigy of the Cooper Clan...
Wiz: ...And Taka, the amnesiac assassin of House Kamuha.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick, and they're Miles Edgeworth, Papyrus, and Morrigan Aensland...
Wiz: ...And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE.
Sly Cooper
Wiz: There is a legend of a world-renowned clan of raccoon thieves who pass down their knowledge to descendants in the book known as the Thievius Raccoonus. The members of this clan are masters of stealth, silent movement, and thievery. They are known as the Cooper Clan.
Boomstick: Probably because all of their last names are Cooper. Wouldn't that make them really easy to identify?
Edgeworth: The legend of the Cooper Clan began sometime before 1300 BC when an ancient Cooper named Slythunkamen Cooper began chronicling his adventures of stealing from corrupt pharaohs and greedy kings, writing down techniques and skills thieves could use to become great. This was the beginning of the Thievius Raccoonus.
Morrigan: Over the centuries, the book was handed down from Cooper to Cooper, each adding their own knowledge and tales to the book to aid future clan members. Eventually, the book was set to be handed down to the newest Cooper. His name was Sly.
Papyrus: YOUNG SLY GREW UP ON HIS PARENT'S FARM UNDER THE WING OF HIS MOTHER AND HIS FATHER, THE LATTER OF WHOM WAS THE CURRENT HOLDER OF THE BOOK! SLY'S FATHER, CONNER COOPER, BROUGHT SLY UP IN THE WAYS OF THE COOPER CLAN AND SET HIM UP TO BE THE NEXT GREAT THIEF OF THE CLAN.
Boomstick: But like any superhero story goes, on the night he was to inherit the Thievius Raccoonus, a gang of criminals known as the Fiendish Five - real original name, guys - showed up on the family farm looking for it.
Wiz: Try as he might, Conner could not defend his wife and son from the gang. He hid Sly in a closet for his protection moments before the gang stormed into the house and murdered him and his wife, young Sly watching, mortified, from the closet.
Edgeworth: The criminals then found the book and tore its pages out, splitting it amidst themselves, and left. Sly, now without parents, ended up in an orphanage where he met his lifelong friends and partners-in-crime, Bentley and Murray. The former was the brains of the group, the latter was the muscle, and Sly was the pawn, the one in action, the one who carried out the plans.
Papyrus: OVER THE YEARS, SLY RECOVERED THE THIEVIUS RACCOONUS AND MASTERED THE TECHNIQUES WITHIN, BECOMING A MASTER THIEF LIKE HIS FATHER BEFORE HIM! THE KINDS OF HEISTS HE HAS PULLED OFF RANGE FROM SEALING COOKIES FROM HIS ORPHANAGE'S KITCHEN TO TRAVELLING BACK IN TIME TO RESCUE HIS CLAN'S LINEAGE! QUITE IMPRESSIVE!
Morrigan: But to be the master thief he is, he needs the right kind of tool for the job... rather, jobs. Sly's weapon of choice is his clan's iconic cane, which is hooked like the letter C on the end of it. With it, Sly can pick locks, steal from a distance, swing from hooks, latch onto grappling points on walls, and the obvious use of striking enemies.
Boomstick: The cane has a sharp point on the curved hook, but it functions best as a blunt weapon in combat! Sly's can be charged up for a devastating melee strike in combat. Plus, it can be upgraded by purchasing upgrades from ThiefNet, which is pretty much eBay for thieves!
Wiz: Sly is a master of all the techniques listed in the Thievius Raccoonus, which is what makes him such a potent thief and adversary. Most of the techniques listed are... less than notable.
Boomstick: Because we all know that in order to be a master thief, you need to know FUCKING WATER SAFETY. Also, the Cooper Clan must share libraries with the Strider clan, because holy shit are they in need of a thesaurus. "Fast"? "Roll"? "SLOW"!? These raccoons need some serious vocabulary expansion...
Edgeworth: However, most are incredibly useful in battle and in the field. He can balance on tiny points, climb ropes and poles, become invisible to the unaided eye, swing on hooks and run on wires.
Papyrus: HIS SKILL SET INCLUDES PARKOUR, GYMNASTICS, PICKPOCKETING, SAFECRACKING, DISGUISE MASTERY, AND EVEN TIME MANIPULATION, AMONG OTHER THINGS!
Morrigan: Not to mention the upgrades he receives from ThiefNet come in quite handy. He can throw out alarm clocks to distract enemies, strike foes with an electricity-infused blow to instantly kill them, deploy smoke bombs to return to invisibility, rocket boots for brief bursts of flight, a mine function for his hat, or even a music box to put foes to sleep with.
Boomstick: This guy's pockets are either ripoffs of Link's or ripoffs of Kirby's stomach, because they seem infinite! And with his natural talent for thievery and all-around awesomeness, he's travelled back in time to recover missing pieces of the Thievius Raccoonus, defeated the Panda King in a hand-to-hand brawl, took out Muggshot and General Tsao, and easily defeated Le Paradox, who built a machine to travel through time!
Wiz: But for all this versatility and expertise, Sly isn't perfect. He much prefers stealth and silent movement than face-to-face combat, and is used to receiving aid from his two crewmates Bentley and Murray. Not to mention that he's fairly cocky and headstrong, usually relying more on his sheer abilities than his instincts.
Boomstick: At least this guy uses his ninja skills in the field unlike some people.
Wiz: Few members of the Cooper Clan can claim the mastery and skillfulness of the ways of a thief like that of Sly Cooper.
Carmelita Fox: Freeze, Cooper!
Sly: Inspector Fox, as beautiful and unpredictable as ever.
Carmelita Fox: Whereas you crooks are so predictable. You always return to the scene of the crime.
Sly: Crime? I haven't stolen anything... yet.
Taka
Wiz: Assassins are feared all throughout the Halcyon Fold, and rightfully so. They are masters of the quick and silent kill, leaving only bodies in their wake.
Edgeworth: I could get past that were it not for the fact that they are almost always hired. Taking money to take a life... There's no more despicable profession.
Boomstick: Well hey, at least this one doesn't take money. He just takes orders.
Morrigan: The 'he' we speak of is none other than the fox faunus assassin known only as Taka.
Papyrus: AS IS THE CASE WITH MOST VAINGLORY CHARACTERS, VERY LITTLE IS KNOWN ABOUT TAKA'S PAST! BUT BY USING CLUES HIDDEN IN THE OFFICIAL DEV LORE, WE CAN GAIN A FAIRLY SOLID GRASP OF WHO HE IS!
Wiz: Taka grew up in an academy of ninjas under the direction of his shishou, or "Master" in Japanese. At around the age of 10, he was given his standard weapons, the switchblades on his forearms. He was to wield them honorably in the way of his academy...
Boomtick: ...Buuuuuuuut his entrance into the field came sooner than expected when he was abducted from the school and trained in savage, brutal killing by a mysterious group called House Kamuha. He became an absolute monster of the shadows, a master of killing in all its forms.
Edgeworth: His ultimate test was his first mission into the world. Played like a puppet by those who controlled him, he was sent to assassinate his old master. Without a second thought, he did just that, slicing the old man's body in an X shape. But as he went to leave...
Morrigan: In a fit of recollection, Taka recognized his old master's corpse and, horrified, managed to shake off the control of his oppressors, and fled in search of his lost memories.
Papyrus: HIS SEARCH LED HIM TO THE HALCYON FOLD, WHERE HE USES HIS SKILLS AS AN ASSASSIN OF HOUSE KAMUHA TO DEFEND HIMSELF!
Wiz: To quote his description: "Taka weaves through the battlefield, eliminating targets with his switchblades. He lives on the knife's edge, compensating for fragile defenses with agility and stealth."
Boomstick: Taka capitalizes on appearing out of nowhere and picking off weakened targets before disappearing just as quickly. His fast-activating, high-damage attacks make him excellent at engaging the enemy from out of nowhere!
Edgeworth: He would not be so adept at savage murder, however, were it not for his Heroic Perk: House Kamuha. When Taka lands a Critical Strike on an enemy, he gains 20% lifesteal and a burst of speed. Taka is guaranteed a critical strike every 5 seconds because of this perk.
Morrigan: Taka gains 1 Ki stack when he performs an ability or critical strike with a limit of up to 5 stacks. Each stack of Ki speeds up his guaranteed critical strikes and makes him able to reuse his Abilities at a faster rate.
Wiz: Speaking of his Abilities, his first one is Kaiten. During this attack, Taka flips over the target and slashes at them from above for a quick, sizable burst of damage. This attack is a valued part of Taka's arsenal as he is not only immune to attack when in the air, but at full upgrade capacity it costs no energy to use, meaning even is he has run out of stamina he can still use this attack.
Papyrus: HIS SECOND ABILITY IS CALLED KAKU! UPON ACTIVATING THIS ABILITY, TAKA THROWS A SMOKE BOMB AT HIS FEET AN VANISHES FROM ENEMY VIEW! HE RUNS UNDER A BOX WITH INCREASED MOVEMENT SPEED, LEAVING HIM UNDETECTABLE TO AN UNAIDED EYE!
Boomstick: Too bad enemy turrets and homing mines can still pick up on him under his box! Wait... box... Is this guy Solid Snake's furry incarnate?
Wiz: ...Boomstick, just stop.
Morrigan: Moving on, when Kaku is fully upgraded Taka is able to heal himself while under the cover of his box. Makes it handy when you need a quick getaway.~
Edgeworth: But those abilities pale before Taka's Ultimate Ability: X-Retsu, the move he used to off his old master. He charges forward at an enemy and cuts through them savagely in an X shape. This attack can be activated at a distance, making it good for either attacking unsuspecting foes or catching a weakened, fleeing enemy.
Papyrus: THIS ATTACK ALSO LEAVES A MORTAL WOUND ON THE TARGET, WHICH DEALS CONTINUOUS DAMAGE OVER TIME! X-RETSU IS EVEN STRONG ENOUGH TO SLICE THROUGH A HUMAN BODY LIKE WARM BUTTER! AND AS IF ITS HIGH DAMAGE WASN'T ENOUGH, IT GRANTS TAKA THREE STACKS OF KI INSTEAD OF ONE! WOWIE, THIS MOVE IS USEFUL!
Wiz: Indeed. Not only is it incredibly strong, but its cooldown is one of the shortest in all of VainGlory among Ultimates, making it a deadly tool for an experienced player.
Boomstick: Taka's no boxer, but his playstyle reflects that of one: float like a butterfly and sting like a bee! He has abnormally high movement speed, attack speed, and damage output, meaning he can weave around enemies with nimble grace and eliminate them before they can react!
Edgeworth: Unfortunately for him, not everybody can be perfect. His incredible combat abilities leave him with unfortunate frailty. He can certainly dish out the damage, yes, but he can't take it either.
Morrigan: Not to mention if an attack has locked onto him and he goes into his Kaku, the attack will still follow him, making him traceable. And if he takes enough damage while in the Kaku, it will wear off before its full use, rendering him without a good escape option.
Papyrus: BUT AT LEAST HE HAS THE SPEED TO BE ABLE TO COMPENSATE FOR IT!
Wiz: Despite his durability not being much higher than the box he hides under, there are few VainGlory players who don't fear a seasoned Taka.
Taka: Crazy déjà vu... Wait, have I killed you before?
Intermission
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all!
Edgeworth, Morrigan, and Papyrus: IT'S TIME FOR...
Boomstick: ...A DEATH BATTLE!!!
DEATH BATTLE!
Setting: Paris
(Cue Pink Panther Theme Song)
One quiet fall evening over the beautiful City of Love (otherwise known as Paris, France), the gentle breeze sent small gusts swirling overhead. Fallen leaves crunched beneath the footsteps of late passersby, the city bright with light even in the later hours as its beautiful tower shone like a beacon on a dark sea port, seeming like a lightbulb to the rest of the city.
Out of the way of this spectacular light, however, there was movement along the roof of the famed museum known as the Louvre. The soft pit-pat of feet on the top of the famous art gallery could scarcely be heard to even one who were listening for it as an unseen figure dressed in blue and gold snuck his way along. His tiny, pawed feet clambered up the side of the roof and landed after a short, nimble hop near a security door on the roof that had been installed in case of the need for an emergency exit.
The intruder on the premises rose to full height and breathed out swiftly, adjusting his blue beret. It was the acclaimed thief Sly Cooper, and he was here to do what he did best: steal. From, specifically, one of the most well-stocked art museums in the world. Any little trinket wrought from this place would surely turn up a pretty penny from a buyer with any sense at all.
Sly: Now let's see what we have here.
The young Cooper prodigy turned his raccoon eyes to the steel door to his right. His shifty gaze travelled up and down the metal entrance to the place he was aiming to rob. It was a simple handle door, nothing much to it. He tried jiggling the handle. It was cold from the brisk night air against his furry palm. The venture yielded no crop, the door locked.
Sly: Well, that's to be expected... Now, to just...
Sly turned his golden cane up to face the keyhole on the door, sticking its pointed end into the opening. After a little fiddling, Sly could hear the gears inside the door turning and shifting. He was almost in!
*Baff!*
Much to the raccoon's surprise, there was a sudden loud burst of gas to his immediate right. Out of sheer instinct, he withdrew the cane from the lock and flipped onto one of two nearby radiators conveniently placed on the roof. One fuzzy foot rested on one radiator, and the other placed itself down on the opposite one.
The noise Sly had heard seemed to have come from a small cardboard box nearby the door. Sly's eyebrow cocked up in confusion. He hadn't seen a cardboard box there when he arrived, and there was no way he had just missed something so out of place...
The question of where it had come from was answered when something under the box began shifting. Slowly but surely, the box was lifted up by a person underneath it. As the newcomer stood at full attention, Sly got a better look at who was on his trail. It seemed to be a man in dark clothing with a strange, glowing eyepatch. Two large switchblades were mounted on his forearms, stained a little red from dried blood.
Sly would have taken more time to analyze the weapons had he not noticed the man's large rust-colored furry ears. They stuck out of the top of his head like those of a fox, and it was now that Sly also noticed a orange-red, white-ringed tail swishing behind him, protruding from his posterior. Sly's eyes moved back to to the mystery man's face, where he saw only one eye exposed. His nose and mouth were covered in a mask.
Taka: I'm no detective, but I'm pretty sure furries don't break into museums in the dead of night.
Sly smirked a little at his comment. Then he replied.
Sly: I'd keep it down or else you'll alert the night watch. And I'm no furry. You're looking at a fully-bred raccoon.
The cloaked man scoffed a little, his tail zig-zagging behind him as he did so.
Taka: Didn't answer the second part of my question. What's a raccoon like you doing on the roof of the Louvre at midnight?
Sly didn't like where this conversation was headed. He kept his crouched stance, ready to spring into action at a moment's notice should the situation call for a speedy reaction.
Sly: It should be obvious, buddy... Even to a fox-man like yourself. And I could ask you something similar: Why follow the raccoon across the roof at midnight?
The opposing man took a slightly combative posture, his switchblades positioned in appropriate places.
Taka: No special reason.
Sly scoffed, sensing a brewing battle between him and this man. He gripped the hilt of his cane tighter.
Sly: What? You can tell little old me. You an undercover cop? You gonna arrest me? For what? I haven't stolen anything... Yet.
Taka shook his head, his tail swinging in anticipation.
Taka: No, nothing like that. I'm not here to bring you in.
Sly: Then why are you here?
Taka's technological eyepatch beamed red as he prepared for battle.
Taka: Simple. I'm here to kill you.
(Cue Chameleos Theme)
FIGHT!
Sly: What?
Without responding, Taka, left arm swung out towards Sly's perched leg, switchblade aiming for the ankle. The Cooper barely moved his leg out of the way, the blade ringing through the air. Sly flipped off the radiator he was perched on and came down above Taka, who raised his switchblades in an x-shape. When Sly's feet kicked hard on the weapons, Taka pushed against him and forced him off, sending Sly sliding away from him.
They locked eyes for a brief instant before darting at each other, the sound of metal on metal clinging in the night as switchblade met cane. Brief showers of sparks would be seen as the two steel objects glanced off each other, their wielders in fierce combat. Their eyes never left the other's as they clashed on the rooftop.
As they battled in the chill of evening, one lone night watchman strode underneath and tuned in to the sounds of clash above him. He stepped out from under the overhang of the roof and saw Sly and Taka engaged in combat. His eyes widened and he went back under the cover of the roof, pulling his walkie talkie up to his mouth, speaking in native French.
Guard: Patrouille de dépêcher... Nous avons une situation sur le toit. Deux tangos non identifiés engagés dans la bataille près de la sortie d'urgence. Demande de sauvegarde.
The guardsman went away unnoticed by the two stealthy combatants, their minds more directed on each other than what was around them. Taka darted up to Sly, who attempted to swing the heavy, metallic end of his cane at the fox ninja. Taka nimbly leaped up into the air, performing a Kaiten as he flipped rapidly in the night sky. His switchblades fell down toward Sly and sliced the skin on his shoulders.
Sly: Aagh!
Taka landed in front of the door Sly has been trying to pick before, his switchblades now lines with a thin layer of Sly's blood. The raccoon's left hand flew up to his right shoulder, covering the injury as his right hand held his cane. It was only a flesh wound, thankfully; No tendons or muscles had been severed. Biting his tongue to distract himself with a new pain, Sly whirled on Taka and threw out a gadget from his pocket.
Next to Taka landed an alarm clock, which began to ring loudly. The shrill noise pierced the quiet of the night almost rudely, and Taka winced. His fox ears drooped back and he turned to look at the clock irritatedly.
Taka: Oh, that's just cheap.
With a swift movement of his arm, the alarm clock was silent, in two halves after a quick swing of his switchblade. Taka's ear twitched as he sensed movement from his adversary. He turned on a heel to face Sly.
Or at least, where Sly would have been. Instead there was just empty space. It seemed as if Sly had used the clock to distract Taka while he slunk into the shadows. The agent of House Kamuha relaxed a bit, looking around warily.
Taka: Nice disappearing act... Now. Where'd you go, pointy ears?
As Taka's gaze circled his surroundings, he failed to notice Sly creeping up on top of the door entryway. The raccoon leaped high and brought his cane, curved-side facing down, onto the back of Taka's head. Taka stumbled forward, dazed by the strike, and Sly brought his knee up into the center of his face, just above the nose and right between the eyes. Taka lolled backward, and Sly slammed the side of the blunt end of his cane into Taka's forehear. Taka slammed into the ground, utterly dazed. The Cooper stood over him and scoffed.
Sly: I would have said heads up, but that would have been counterintuitive.
Without replying, Taka swished the blunt end of his right switchblade into Sly's left foot. Hitting the small bulge of bone on the side of his foot, Sly yelped in pain and fell as well.
Taka spun on his hip and brought his foot up by where his head had been, clocking Sly in the temple with his heel. Then he pushed off his hands and brought himself back to his feet. Sly scurried back up as well,picking up his dropped cane. And just like that, they were back at it, their weapons clanging together as they struggled to gain an advantage. Taka kept up the offensive front of the battle, and Sly held a mostly defensive placing. The former let out a groan as his switchblades locked against the hook of Sly's cane.
Taka: This is getting old... Can you just die already? I have people to kill yet tonight.
Sly growled a little, locked in place.
Sly: The only other person dying tonight is gonna be you, Fox McCloud!
Taka's ear twitched amusedly.
Taka: Can't let you do that, Star Coon.
Sly reached into his pocket again with one hand and pulled out a small grey pellet.
Sly: I'm afraid you'll have to just let me disappear for a brief moment.
(Cue Pokken Tournament - Blue Dome)
The Cooper slammed the sphere to the ground, grey smoke erupting from it. Sly darted around Taka and behind one of the radiators from earlier, crouching behind its cover. As the smoke faded, Taka whirled around again in search of his enemy. When he was no sign of Sly, he did not say a word. Instead, there was a red explosion of gas at his feet, and when the wall of smog vanished in the evening breeze the fox faunus was gone as well.
Sly: ...Wha?
Sly's cautious eyes darted around, looking in vain for his opponent. He scratched his beret dumbfoundedly, scanning the vicinity of the roof for any trace of Taka.
Sly failed, however, to do the obvious thing when you know you're being watched, and true to his failure Taka slid out from underneath his box directly behind the raccoon. He stood there for a moment, crouched behind the scouring thief, before he tapped his shoulder and whispered playfully into his ear.
Taka: Psst... Behiiiind youuuuuu...
Sly whirled around just in time for his face to greet Taka's open palm. It slammed into his nose at high velocity, and Sly fell back against the radiator. Taka jumped up and sliced the skin on his arms with his switchblades before proceeding to repeatedly punch Sly's jaw. After a few blows, Taka picked up Sly by the scruff of his outfit and threw him away.
Sly, reeling a bit from the punches, landed and slid back, cane still gripped tightly in his hand. He squeezed its hilt, and the hook of the cane sparked with electricity. Sly rolled forward, trying to tackle Taka's legs out from under him, but the ninja leaped up and over him, avoiding the maneuver completely. Sly stood back up and planted his cane on the ground, using it to turn his momentum back towards Taka. The switchblades met the cane again, and Taka felt a current of electricity jolting through him.
Taka: Oowwww...
Taka gritted his teeth and fought through it, lifting his head over the conflicting weapons and crashing his forehead against Sly's angrily. The latter grunted in suffering, and Taka pushed against the interlocked weapons, sending Sly sliding back a bit, the electricity on his cane vanishing. Sly ran forward again and slid under Taka, who split his legs further apart to let Sly glide right under him. That was what Sly had wanted, and on his way back up his fist grabbed the middle of Taka's ringed orange and white tail.
Taka: Ow, hey!! That's just RUDE!
Taka tried to swing his blades at Sly, but the raccoon was already dragging Taka in a circle. After a moment, Taka was off his feet and Sly was barely keeping himself from falling over with this. He released when he felt he had built up enough momentum, sending Taka flying through the air. The fox ninja looked down to notice he was about to fall onto a glass ceiling on the museum's roof, and he groaned in midair. Comically, he pulled a sign out of nowhere that read "Uh oh!", and he plummeted down.
Taka: WooahoahhOAHH...!
As his frame slammed against the beautifully outlined glass, it shattered under his weight and he fell down into the museum. Sly leaped down after him and landed, cane gripped tightly in his hand.
Taka got up very slowly and unsurely, wobbling a bit. He recovered his sense of balance and walked in a circle with Sly, both sizing each other up.
Taka: You're more of a challenge than I thought you'd be... It's about time someone put up a decent fight.
Sly: I'm flattered, but I really do need to get to stealing some of these priceless artifacts. So get out of my way.
Taka grinned beneath his mask.
Taka: Let's finish this.
(Cue Street Fighter III - Killing Moon)
So they two darted forward, leaped up in midair, and swung their weapons with great force. The air around them rippled, and in blinding flashes of movement they were at it again. As the night gave its first signs of retreating to the coming sunrise, Sly and Taka tumbled, flew, rushed, and blitzed around the empty hall of the Louvre, fighting what seemed to be an endless battle.
And as their clashing reached its climactic finale, both Taka and Sly growled at each other as they traded weapons frantically. Both were panting and sweating from exhaustion despite the ever-present chill of the late night, their puffs visible in the air as fogs spewing from their mouths.
In a valiant final push, Taka feinted an overhead swipe with his blades. Sly, exhausted from combat, acted on instinct and moved his cane to block - but the strike never came. Instead, Taka's other blade rose up with it, striking it from beneath. The force combined with Sly's willingness to let it move that way shot it out of his grasp, the ancient Cooper weapon flying up in the air. Sly gasped, but had little time to do so as Taka's right foot flew up along with the rest of him, hitting Sly with a solid kick in the jaw. Sly groaned and popped up in the air a bit.
That was all the opportunity Taka needed. He placed his switchblades near his chest and focused. Almost in slow motion, he could see Sly falling back to the ground, completely and utterly unprotected. He felt his entire body humming with energy, and he lashed forward nimbly.
(End music)
*SHWING!*
That was all that was heard at first. After a blinding flash of light, Taka was in the air behind Sly, blades spread outward as if he had just done something. The air hummed with a silent anticipation, as if the gods themselves had stepped from their perches above mankind to see just how this battle of ninjas would play out. Time seemed to slow as even you, the reader, waited to see what had just happened.
Suddenly, Sly felt his chest split apart, and he howled in sheer agony as his body was carved out in the shape of an X, a red X shape filling the gap between his detached flesh for a brief moment. His two arms, his lower body, and his neck and head all fell to the floor in separate pieces, blood seeping from them as his vision faded. His cane fell next to him, clattering loudly against the marble floor.
Taka landed, his feet making a soft tap noise on the ground. His switchblades were coated in fresh, smelly blood. He relaxed and allowed himself to sigh. His mission was complete.
He could hear the sirens of interpol cars speeding towards the museum. Someone must have seen their battle taking place and called authorities. Taka huffed a bit and took out a small red smoke bomb before addressing the empty museum and lifeless paintings and statues around him.
Taka: ...I was never here.
The smoke bomb exploded into red mist, and Taka darted away from Sly's lifeless corpse under the cover of his box.
K.O.!
(Cue VainGlory Main Theme)
Boomstick: Woho, shit! That was brutal!
Edgeworth: This battle was almost too close to call. Sly and Taka are both equal in terms of strength, and Sly had the better arsenal and was more proficient in stealth and unseen movement, but Taka's superior combat experience, speed, and durability won out after a heated match.
Wiz: Yes, Sly's multitude of gadgets and skills could cover him in almost any situation, but Taka has not only dealt with obstacles similar to the majority of his tech, but if Sly can be considered a master of ninja and thief tactics after learning them from a book, then it's safe to say Taka is a master too after training from boyhood and undergoing the rigorous regimen of House Kamuha.
Morrigan: And even though both of them had more than enough ways to kill each other, Taka's durability is actually better than Sly's. After realizing he had slain his old shishou and resisted the control of House Kamuha, Taka was smashed through a solid concrete wall by his enraged puppeteers. And he not only sustained no long-term injuries, but he stood right back up a few moments later with nothing to show for it and ninja'd off into the night.
Papyrus: WHILE IT'S RELATIVELY LOW IN TERMS OF DURABILITY FEATS, IT'S CERTAINLY HIGHER THAN SLY'S! PLUS, THE ADVANTAGES TAKA HELD OVER SLY WERE MORE APPLICABLE TO COMBAT SITUATIONS! SLY'S ADVANTAGES OF STEALTH AND ARSENAL WEREN'T AS PREVALENT IN A FIGHT AS TAKA'S ADVANTAGES OF SPEED, DURABILITY, AND RAW COMBAT EXPERIENCE!
Boomstick: And Taka's switchblades function much better as weapons than Sly's cane, which, while a decent weapon, is better purposed as a tool for heists and robbery rather than a combat item!
Wiz: At the end of the day, Taka's skills were just barely enough to overcome the Cooper prodigy.
Boomstick: Taka had Sly X-actly where he wanted him!
Wiz: The winner is Taka.
(Special thanks to WarpyNeko930 for helping with deciding the victor! Give his battles some love!)