| Sly Cooper VS Wario | |
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| Season 1, Episode 18 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | October 2, 2015 |
| Written by | Shrek-it Ralph |
| Directed by | Shrek-it Ralph |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Donatello VS Tails | Batman VS Wolverine |
Sly Cooper VS Wario is a What If? Death Battle
Description[]
Super Mario vs. Sly Cooper! Which master thief and treasure hunting expert will win in a fight!
Beginning[]
Wiz: Treasure Hunting has began since the infamous pirate age.
Boomstick: And these two are the best at what they do!
Wiz: Sly Cooper, Sony's thieving raccoon
Boomstick: And Wario, Mario's Archrival. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills and find out who would win a Death Battle?
Sly Cooper[]
Wiz: Sly was born from the Cooper Clan under the tutoring from his father on how to be a master thief.
Boomstick: Lemme guess, tragedy struck!
Wiz: Correct.
Boomstick: Seriously! Ugh. Anyway, this happened because the Fiendish Five killed Sly's parents.
Wiz: He then became an orphan.
Boomstick: You got to be kidding me!
Wiz: Anyway, Sly's main weapon of choice is that yellow cane he carries with him. He can latch on to hooks and fight people.
Boomstick: And thanks to training from his father, Sly also mastered a variety of ninja techniques, like the Ninja Spire Jump, Raccoon Roll and many more.
Wiz: He can also stop time, and carries around bombs.
Boomstick: He's got bombs that make enemies confused with the Rage Bomb. The Hat Bomb is a mine Sly can denotate to blow shit up!
Wiz: And last but not least, he has a music box that puts enemies to sleep.
Boomstick: He has defeated the Panda King in a hand to hand fight, and also defeated Muggshot and General Tsao in fights!
Wiz: But Sly prefers to use stealth, and he usually sucks at fighting.
Boomstick: I need me one of those hat bombs!
Sly: Alright! Let's blow stuff up!
Wario[]
Wiz: Wario is Mario's evil archrival who was created after Nintendo's frustration on Mario Land 2.
Boomstick: Wario is also a pretty rude mannered person. He farts, he picks his noise, he even burps and I think vomits?
Wiz: Anyway, Wario's origin is this. He was Mario's best friend during childhood.
Boomstick: They'd do plenty of things together, like getting Wario almost killed! But the one thing that ticked the fat man off was that he always was the Rustler and was only sheriff once.
Wiz: So Wario, when he was older, decided to make sure that Mario was dead. Nowadays, he rarely ever fights Mario.
Boomstick: As you can tell from his huge muscles, he's pretty strong. He can easily throw objects and break brick with his bare hands.
Wiz: He can also swing around his foes and throw them so far, they won't come back. Well, most foes.
Boomstick: He can also punch the ground to cause an earthquake, and can ground pound the ground to create shockwaves!
Wiz: And if that's not enough, Wario also has powerups. His powerups include the Dragon Pot, which allows him to breathe fire.
Boomstick: The Bull Pot lets him charge at foes, and the Jet Pot makes him faster.
Wiz: And you know how we said that Wario's gross. Well, he can actually harm people with his farts. His farts are as powerful as explosives, and can easily blow up his enemies.
Boomstick: And if he gets a bite of garlic, he'll become Wario Man, who doubles up all of Wario's abilities!
Wiz: Wario has thrown a very large dinosaur, made a teleporter with ease, and made all the Wario Ware micro games by himself.
Boomstick: But Wario's usually not fast. He's slow, he's angry, and his moves leave him open if they miss.
Wiz: But Wario is considered one of Mario's greatest enemies for a reason.
Wario: I'm a Wario! I'm a gonna win!
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
Death Battle[]
Sly Cooper is sneaking around when he sees a fat man with some gold.
Sly: I'll take that thank you.
Sly Cooper swoops down and takes the gold...or so he wishes. Wario saw this and grabbed Sly's legs.
Wario and Sly see the gold fall into the street and down a river, never to be seen again.
Wario: Thanks a lot asshole! You made me lose my gold!
Sly: Shut up, that was my gold.
Wario: Alright, you wanna go?
Sly: Let's go.
FIGHT!
Wario and Sly run at each other, but Sly leaps over Wario's shoulder tackle and pulls out his Cane.
Sly: It'll take more than that to get me, slowpoke!
Wario punches the ground, causing Sly to flop in the air. Wario then charges at Sly, hurling him back into a tree.
Sly: Man, you're stronger than you look.
Sly pulls out some bombs.
Sly: But brains always beats brawn.
Sly throws the bombs. Wario dodges one and catches the other one. The bomb explodes, causing Wario to dazed, leaving him wide open.
Sly: Now's my chance!
Sly whacks Wario with his cane and rapidly smacks him with it. Wario then bites Sly's leg, causing him to howl.
Wario: Wah!
Wario then rushes at Sly and delivers plenty of punches at Sly. Sly throws a hat bomb at Wario, but Wario tosses it back, blowing up in his face.
Wario: You're weak!
Wario then ground pounds the ground, causing a shockwave. Sly jumps over the shockwave and uses the Raccoon Roll to dodge a powerful punch that would've killed him.
Sly then leaps on top of a building and leave a hat bomb and runs. As Wario equips his Jet Pot and flies after him, he barely dodges the bomb.
Sly: Crap! He's gaining on me!
Wario was flying at very fast speeds and grabbed Sly. They spun around in a circle and crashed onto a log going down a river.
Wario and Sly: AH!
There was a waterfall close by, but Wario and Sly went at it. Wario grabbed Sly's cane and broke it with his knee.
Wario: Wahaha! You're defenseless!
Sly threw some bombs at Wario, but Wario threw them back. The bombs blew up in Sly's face, but Sly leaped on Wario and tried to snap his neck.
The waterfall was getting closer, and Wario had a brilliant idea to beat his rodent foe.
Sly: Ready to give up, bastard?
Wario becomes very mad, and grabs Sly and starts swinging him around. He keeps swinging and swinging.
Wario: Have a rotten day!
Wario then throws Sly off the log and down into the treacherous waterfall. Wario jumped to land at the last second as the log hit a boulder.
Sly: Uh oh.
Sly Cooper tries to escape, but the gigantic boulder crushes him and drowns him.
Wario is tired and bleeding and walks away from the waterfall.
KO!
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: Damn! Now that's a Death Battle!
Wiz: This battle was actually close. Sly had the intelligence, speed advantage, but Wario's brute strength, durability and experience were enough to take down Sly.
Boomstick: Sly struggles with hand to hand, but Wario is pretty good at it. Wario has faced plenty of people like Sly over his career, like Captain Syrup. Sly's weapons were also pretty good, but Wario has taken a LOT worse.
Wiz: And the fact that Wario's large arsenal, including his nuke farts, power ups, and Wario Man, were enough to turn Sly into roadkill.
Boomstick: You could say Sly was WariOwned!
Wiz: The winner is Wario
Trivia[]
- This is Shrek-it's first battle with a Sony Character
- This is the second time a Mario character wins, the first being Bowser VS M. Bison