| Slenderman vs. Jeff the Killer | |
|---|---|
| |
| Season 1, Episode 5 | |
Vital statistics
| |
| Air date | December 6th, 2014 |
| Written by | ParaGoomba348 |
| Directed by | Anonymous |
Episode guide
| |
| Previous | Next |
| Paper Mario vs. Mr. Game & Watch | Twitch Plays Pokemon Battle Royale (ParaGoomba348) |
Don't look back. Don't go to sleep. Don't think you're safe from this terrifying Death Battle.
Slenderman vs. Jeff the Killer is a What-If? episode of Death Battle, pitting Slenderman from the game Slender against Jeff from the creepypasta "Jeff the Killer".
Description[]
It's creepypasta duel here on Death Battle! Either of these two may be behind you right now... waiting... waiting to kill you.
Interlude[]
Wiz: Creepy killers take many different forms. Some are more direct, while others just make you paranoid.
Boomstick: And we've got some of the creepiest killers ever here! Like Slenderman, the tall no-faced eldritch abomination-
Wiz: And Jeff the Killer, the deformed serial killer who puts you to sleep, forever.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: It is our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win in a Death Battle.
Slenderman[]
Wiz: Deep in a mysterious forest with an ambiguous past lives a demonic creature whose very name brings chills to all who hear it.
Boomstick: And this creature is none other than Slenderman! Depending on the way you look at 'im, he's either a child molester, a serial killer, or just a guy in a ridiculous suit!
Wiz: Slenderman is a manifestation of demonic energy, in an odd human-shaped form. He roams the Slender Woods in hopes of brutally murdering those who dare trespass, or worse, take the notes scattered about on the trees.
Boomstick: Places to stay the hell away from: Slender Woods.
Wiz: You're best off that way. Slenderman is a cold-blooded killer. For starters, Slenderman constantly follows his victims, just not always in plain sight. If you ever find yourself in Slender Woods, there's a high chance that Slenderman is standing right behind you.
Boomstick: Well that's enough to make me paranoid as hell!
Wiz: Slenderman's presence alone is so filled with negative energy that it can make even the most daring or the most stoic people on edge with paranoia. It doesn't help that he can teleport at any given moment to one's exact position and go in for the kill from there.
Boomstick: Man, if that wasn't scary enough, I wanna know how this guy kills people!
Wiz: No one knows. Rather than outright killing his victims, Slenderman instead prefers a little bit of victim cooperation. He likes to teleport behind his victims to give them paranoia and to bait them into trying to run away, then appears right in front of them to go for the kill. Slenderman also requires that his victims directly look at his face, and after about a second-and-a-half of looking at him, his victims die an ambiguous death with the last thing they see being Slenderman's faceless head.
Boomstick: Holy shit that's terrifying! Anything else?
Wiz: Slenderman is also a very tricky and crafty opponent. As if his implied presence wasn't enough to keep someone on their toes, he becomes more and more aggressive as his opponents progress through the woods. He scatters random notes throughout and with each one his victim finds, he appears to that victim more and more. Rather than calling it off when his victim finds all of them, he decides to pull out all the stops and appear directly in front of the victim, and then almost assure himself a kill.
Boomstick: Mother of Slender that's brutal! Wait, Wiz, you said 'almost'! What does that mean? Doesn't looking at Slenderman directly cause instant death?
Wiz: Not exactly. If one looks away from him before a second-and-a-half ends, he won't be able to do anything. Slenderman's biggest, and with that, only disadvantage is mobility. If one is looking at Slenderman through his or her peripheral vision, it's considered looking at him and also not looking at him directly. As such, he will not be able to move or go for the kill. This would very obviously put Slenderman in a very bad position.
Boomstick: And also some guy with a flashlight managed to outwit him and collect all eight notes.
Wiz: Even then, Slenderman came in and went for the kill, so it wasn't a total loss for Slenderman. Even though Slenderman may have his own faults and isn't the most mobile combatant in the world, he's still quite the opponent and is more than capable of dominating the battle.
Slenderman: ...
Jeff the Killer[]
Wiz: Once upon a seemingly innocent time, a young boy named Jeff and his family moved to a fancy neighborhood after Jeff's father got a well-paying job. All seemed nice and happy, then one day Jeff and his little brother Liu were confronted by three trouble-making teenagers.
Boomstick: Pffft, what happened, did they try to steal their lunch money?
Wiz: No. "Trouble-making" was a bit of an understatement: These teens tried to kill Jeff and Liu. However, Jeff snapped in a rage and brutalized all of them until they ran off in a hurry.
Boomstick: Man! Are kids these days just getting meaner and more asshole-ish or what?
Wiz: Yes they are. The police soon found out about this, and in a moment of confusion, Liu confessed to being the kid who beat them up even though he wasn't. This made Jeff very angry, and a little sad. And that's where his story really starts. A few days later, he went to a birthday party he and his parents were invited to. After a few minutes of enjoying himself, the three teenagers who tried to kill Jeff and Liu before showed up just to cause trouble - and get revenge.
Boomstick: For what?! Those assholes are the ones who tried to kill Jeff in the first place!
Wiz: For not dying, I guess? Anyway, Jeff engaged in a brutal fight with these three, and endured pain and damage no human, let alone a preteen, should ever have to face. He got glass smashed in his face and on his head, and afterwards nearly burned to death. He made a full recovery rather soon, except his face was rather... deformed.
Boomstick: You call that DEFORMED?! He looks like the freakin' love child of Michael Jackson and The Joker! That's scary as shit!
Wiz: And not only was his face messed up, but his mind was permanently damaged as well. His sanity slipped and he ironically killed Liu,the very person he was trying to protect in the first place. It was then that he would be known as Jeff the Killer, a name that many would soon fear and cringe at.
Boomstick: I'd believe it! Anyone with a face like that HAS to be a psycho killer! Or a child molester. Or a clown.
Wiz: He's not Michael Jackson or The Joker! Anyway, Jeff became a serial killer soon after that. He finds children who are sleeping, then waits for them to wake up in the middle of the night. The last thing they see is that horrible face and the last thing they hear is a chilling "Go to Sleep" before they are instantly killed by his knife. Then he makes his escape before the inevitable police arrival.
Boomstick: Man, he's gotta be REALLY high on the most wanted list for that!
Wiz: Speaking of which, Jeff was also stalked for eleven years by someone who witnessed his brawl during the birthday party, Jane. Jane followed Jeff around for eleven years, studying his patterns, his weaknesses, his methods. The impressive part comes in here. Jane made an attempt on the perfect way to kill Jeff: by luring him into a house, then lighting it on fire while it was covered in bleach and alcohol. However, Jeff was having none of it.
Boomstick: What?! Jeff is a monster!
Wiz: I believe he is. Jeff then lured Jane in there, and got her killed in her own trap. Jeff deserves some serious credit for outsmarting someone that quickly, especially considering that Jane had eleven years' worth of information on him.
Boomstick: It's kinda creepy knowing that Jeff is on the loose and no one was able to stop him. Seriously, he's so slippery!
Wiz: And he's clever, tactical, durable, crafty, and thanks to all his experience, has very fast running speed and superhuman reflexes.
Boomstick: Is there ANY stopping this guy?!
Wiz: Unfortunately for Jeff, there is. Jeff's state of mind is absolutely horrible. If his sanity slips any further, he could lose control of himself completely and start doing things without regard for his own life. Also, Jeff can't close his eyes, so it's likely he suffers from poor eyesight. Finally, all Jeff has is a knife, which has very short reach and makes an improbable throwing weapon. Still, Jeff has shown to accomplish the impossible and may very well seize this battle.
Jeff: Go to sleep!
Fight[]
ParaGoomba348[]
Jeff is reading a map and he wanders into the Slender Woods. He sees a note hanging on a tree and he grabs it. He turns around to see Slenderman standing behind him.
FIGHT!
Jeff instantly runs towards Slenderman, but suddenly gets a weird feeling about it as he looks at him. He realizes that looking directly at Slenderman causes him pain, then he runs off. Slenderman teleports away.
Jeff finds himself by a truck, then pulls another note off of the window. Slenderman is again behind him. Jeff turns around to avoid looking at him, then he just sees Slenderman in front of him. He turns around again. Slenderman is STILL standing right in front of him. Jeff covers his eyes with his hands and runs off.
After running for a few minutes, Jeff finds another note, this time on another tree. He takes it, then sees Slenderman standing a few feet away from him. Jeff covers his eyes and runs towards Slenderman with the knife extended, but because he couldn't see him he misses. Slenderman appears right in front of Jeff again and he goes for another stab, but feels the same pain he felt from looking at Slendy before then covers his eyes and runs off.
Jeff then finds a building. It appears to be a bathroom of some kind.
Jeff: Perfect! I'll make my kill here!
Jeff laughs maniacally then runs into the bathroom, then finds another note on the mirror. Jeff's insanity is clearly starting to take effect, with him thinking Slendmeran is all over the place and all. Jeff waits a few minutes for Slenderman to show up, but he doesn't.
Jeff: What's taking him so long?!
Jeff attempts to run out of the bathroom to find Slenderman standing at the door. Jeff is trapped.
Jeff: Damn, he's got me trapped here. I think I can still outsmart him like I outsmarted that one girl who tried to burn me alive.
Jeff turns around and goes back into the bathroom. Slenderman is standing right at the stalls, in the middle of the room. Jeff can't really not look at him.
Jeff: I just know that if I keep looking at him, I'm gonna die! But if I don't look at him, he'll live! How to go about this...?
Suddenly, Jeff spots a mirror in the bathroom. This gives Jeff an idea. He looks at Slenderman through the mirror rather than directly, then backs up with his knife in hand. Slenderman can't move because Jeff is technically still looking at him.
Jeff suddenly turns towards Slenderman then jabs the knife straight into Slenderman's stomach.
Jeff: Go to sleep!
Slenderman's body oozes out a black blood, then he diminishes into nothing but a black mist.
K.O.!
Results[]
Boomstick: Wait, you're meaning to tell me that the manifestation of malevolent energy just got killed by some Joker-Michael Jackson with a knife?!
Wiz: While Slenderman could easily kill Jeff faster than Jeff could kill him, remember that his killing method requires his target to look at him directly. Jeff, being the cunning mind that he is, would quickly discover how Slenderman operates then find a way to work around it. Jeff overall has better mobility, less predictability, and as for brains, Jeff had this in spades. Being able to outsmart someone who had eleven years' worth of knowledge on him is extremely impressive.
Boomstick: And even though we listed it as a weakness, Jeff's insanity actually helped him here. Because he's been through so much shit in his life, Jeff isn't really paranoid about anything, including Slenderman. Jeff's just such a KNIFE guy.
Wiz: The winner is Jeff the Killer.
Alternate outcome[]
Slenderman suddenly impales Jeff with his tentacles and forces him to look at him.
Jeff: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Slenderman unleashes the Insta-kill.
Trivia[]