Credits to Boomerangplant567
Skips vs Donkey Kong is Cheesypickles564's first death battle, featuring Skips from Regular Show and Donkey Kong from the Super Mario franchise in a battle between two ape-like strongmen.
Description[]
Regular Show vs Super Mario! Two ape-like strongmen duke it out on Death Battle! Who will come out alive? The immortal yeti or Mario's oldest enemy?
Interlude[]
Puppy: Skips, the immortal groundskeeper.
Kitty: And Donkey Kong, the leader of the DK crew.
Puppy: These primates are way cooler than the norm!
Kitty: Actually, Skips isn't a primate, he's a yeti.
Puppy: Just let me have my fun.
Puppy: Anyways, he's Kitty and I'm Puppy.
Kitty: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Skips[]
Kitty: A long time ago, at a high school, a student named Walks was enrolled. He had a large history of violence and was expelled from multiple schools because of it.
Puppy: And then some guy named Gareth showed up and showed him some talkin' babies!
Kitty: These babies are the Guardians of Youth and they had a rather annoying brother.
Puppy: Their brother's name was Klorgbane and he terrorized them. Walks was fed up with this guy talkin' crap so he nearly started a brawl. Don't you hate it when you need to beat up a baby? And I'm talking from experience!
Kitty: sigh. The brawl was then postponed. At lunchtime, Walks met the love of his life, a girl named Mona. She didn't like people who fought, so Walks said he wouldn't fight Klorgbane.
Puppy: Woah. Who the hell would love a yeti?
Kitty: Anyways, whilst Walks and Mona were getting romantic, the guardians helped him prepare for his battle.
Puppy: But unfortunately for him, the brawl was on the same night as the prom.
Kitty: Eventually, Klorgbane became impatient and broke into the prom.
Puppy: Talk about a party pooper!
Kitty: Walks had been able to fight and defeat Klorgbane with the Fists of Justice, mystical tools crafted by the Guardians.
Puppy: And he was able to rescue everyone from Klorgbane's wrath, except for Mona. She sacrificed herself for the greater good. (Puppy starts bawling)
Kitty: Sigh. That scene wasn't even that sad. Anyways, Walks changed his name to Skips in honor of his fallen girlfriend and Gareth and the Guardians gave him immortality to save the world from Klorgbane every once in a while.
Puppy: And then he started working at a park with the stupidest cast of characters ever seen on television!
Kitty: And since he is immortal, all of his co-workers are too stupid to solve all of their problems, so they consult Skips.
Puppy: He also has a high IQ and plenty of skills such as bowling, video games and instrumental skills. But like every character, he has his kryptonite. He does not understand technology. Just like my grandma!
Kitty: He has far-above-average strength. He had killed Rigby in an arm wrestle and can easily break punching bags. He also has a small arsenal with things like sledgehammers and crossbows.
Puppy: His most powerful weapon, by far, are the Fists of Justice. The weird infinity gauntlet thingies that those flying babies built!
Kitty: The Fists are very powerful. They are capable of punching an immortal being into space.
Puppy: Way cool!
Kitty: Even though he has many cool abilities, he has one very horrid weakness. His fingers are a huge weak point and he can't fight whilst they're hurt.
Puppy: But if they aren't, this yeti can beat the crap out of ya!
Skips: Walks never walks away from a bully.
Donkey Kong[]
Puppy: He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well-
Kitty: Shut up Puppy or I'll send you to hell.
Puppy: Sheesh.
Kitty: Anyways, this "leader of the bunch" is Donkey Kong, protector of DK Island! Nothing can keep him from his greatest treasure, his bananas!
Puppy: Don't say it like that, it's weird-
Kitty: Shut up. Anyways, this bulky-banana hoarder is pretty stupid, but that won't stop him from fending off those pesky crocodiles!
Puppy: DK's fighting style is his weight, reach and strength rather than kung-fu or some of that stupid shit.
Kitty: DK can roll, crush and even ground-pound his enemies!
Puppy: And that's not all! He's so damn strong that he can headbutt someone so darn hard that they get stuck underneath the earth and launch a planet out of orbit with a single punch! Now let's ask the nerd for the calculations.
Kitty: His punch is 7 times stronger than over 10,000 Tsar Bombas, the strongest bomb in the world!
Puppy: He also has a pretty weird arsenal of weapons.
Kitty: He can turn oranges into grenades. If you get hit, it will be like drinking orange juice but over 1,000 times more painful.
Puppy: And his coconut gun fires in spurts! If he shoots ya, It's gonna hurt!
Kitty: Stop it with the DK Rap or I'll hurt you.
Puppy: gulps in fear
Kitty: Donkey Kong also has a Super-Star of his own, also known as the Strong Kong!
Puppy: It's like an Ubercharge. It only lasts for a few seconds yet it makes you invincible, stronger and faster!
Kitty: DK is also capable of many impressive feats.
Puppy: He can match his nephew Diddy in speed, who scales to someone who can dodge lightning. He can defeat many trained warriors and his rival King K Rool. His punches can even set the air on fire!
Kitty: He has also survived many falls from orbit.
Puppy: Yeah, this monkey is surely amazing. Except for one thing. He's a blithering idiotic stupid brainless dumbass!
Kitty: But he is still the leader of the bunch, no matter what.
Donkey Kong: Now that's all sorted, I'm going back to sleep.
Intermission[]
Kitty: All right, the combatants are set and we've run over all of their abilities.
Puppy: But for now, it's time for a Death Battle!
Pre-Fight[]
Mordecai and Rigby: SKIPS! SKIPS!
Skips is fixing a car, and he stands up to check out what the problem is.
Skips: What is it this time?
Mordecai: Some giant ape jumped over the fence and is destroying the Park!
Skips: Hmph. I've seen this before.
Skips starts skipping off towards the trail of destruction in the Park. He then came across the ape. The ape was sitting on top of a tree eating a banana.
Skips: Hey, I need you to leave this park!
The monkey jumps down and starts beating his chest. He then rushes towards Skips and tries to punch him.
Skips: Oh, if it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get!
Skips pulls out his sledgehammer to face Donkey Kong.
Fight[]
Part 1: The Beginning[]
(Cue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyU9JG1oEwQ)
Skips quickly blocks the punch with his sledgehammer and it knocks DK back. The monkey retaliates by pulling a tree straight out of the ground. He then smacked Skips across the face and he was launched into another tree. A lightbulb is then visible over Skips' head.
Skips: Aha!
Skips pulls a tree out of the ground as well and they then engage in a sword- I mean tree-fight. Skips begins with a lunge and then hits DK in the crotch, launching him high into the air.
Skips: Batter up!
The groundskeeper batted DK into the house, causing it to crumble. Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost run out, screaming in terror.
Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost: AAAAAAH!
Skips is then given a punch to the face before being ground-pounded straight through the ground!
Donkey Kong: Nobody comes between me and my bananas.
Skips then hops out of the ground and uppercuts DK into the air. The groundskeeper proceeds to rapidly punch DK in the chest, knocking the ape back. Donkey Kong then slammed the floor and a big chunk of earth flew into his hands. He chucked it a Skips but the yeti broke it in half with a single punch.
Skips: You finished yet?
Donkey Kong: I'm just getting started!
The ape throws a citrus grenade at Skips. It blows up and Skips is sent flying through the trees. He lands right near Muscle Man and Benson, They were hiding from DK.
Skips: Help me, guys!
Benson and Muscle Man: Ok!
Skips, Benson and Muscle Man approached DK but he was ready. Two barrels tumbled down and cracked open. Inside were Diddy and Dixie Kong!
Part 2: 3v3[]
Skips punches Donkey Kong into a tree but the monkey uses it to swing back at the yeti and kick him in the face.
Skips: Owch!
Meanwhile, Benson and Dixie Kong are seen clashing.
Benson: GRAHHH! YOU DESTROYED MY PARK!
Benson kicks Dixie back and then attempts a Death Punch on her, but she flies away in time. She then kicks Benson in the face and then uses her hair to wrap around his neck.
Benson starts choking and losing his grip on life but he can still hang on. He kicks Dixie's hair and then uses a Death Punch on her face, but she dodges again. She uses her hair to tear a tree out of the ground and throw it at Benson. The tree knocked him on the floor.
Dixie Kong: Goodbye!
She then descended to the floor at a high speed and crushed Benson's head, leaving gumballs everywhere on the floor.
Meanwhile, Muscle Man and Diddy Kong are fighting. Muscle Man shakes up a soda and it gets Diddy wet.
Diddy: Ew!
Muscle Man then punches Diddy in the face. Once Diddy landed on the floor, he whipped out his peanut blaster and shot Mitch right in the face. Muscle Man was knocked backwards into the house. Diddy used his jetpack to fly towards Muscle Man but it was too late. He had already lifted the house.
Muscle Man: Get crushed, bro!
The house crushed Diddy Kong. There was a large pile of rubble and dirt.
Muscle Man: That was too easy.
But suddenly, the rubble starts shaking and Diddy hops back out.
Muscle Man: What?
Diddy hopped onto Muscle Man and started hitting him everywhere. Mitch eventually shook the monkey off and punched him into the rubble again. Diddy pulled out his blaster again and started firing peanuts around the area. Some of them hit Muscle Man and some of them missed. Right after this, Diddy started charging up his blaster. Muscle Man thought fast and tore his shirt off. He threw it right into the blaster, clogging it.
Diddy: Oh no.
Muscle Man: Oh Yeah!
The blaster exploded and knocked the monkey back. Diddy still got on his feet and then threw a citrus grenade at Mitch. Muscle Man pulled out another soda, shook it up and both attacks collided. Eventually, the grenade overpowered the soda and flew straight towards Muscle Man.
Muscle Man: Heh. You know who else is gonna die to a tangerine.
The grenade rushed towards him even faster.
Muscle Man: MY MOM!
The green man blew up in a mess of orange and red with limbs flying everywhere.
(Cue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mo2nFDTlDTg)
Diddy and Dixie both rush over to DK while Skips stands bruised and beaten.
Skips: No!
Suddenly, the Guardians of Eternal Youth appear and raise their wands in the air.
Guardians: We shall give you the Fists of Justice!
Part 3: The Fists of Justice[]
(Cue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0or0nEy2ps&t=43s)
Skips starts off by avenging his friends. He punches both Diddy and Dixie so hard that they explode into big, bloody messes.
Skips: It's just you and me now.
Skips punches DK in the chest, and the Fists were so powerful that it launched DK into the stratosphere with a single punch. DK took advantage of this and punched a nearby meteor towards the Park.
Skips: Aw crap.
Nothing was left of the Park, or in fact, the entire city. Skeletons, fire and pure destruction was all that you could see. But two things had survived the devastation. Skips, the yeti groundskeeper of the Park, stood up. So did his opponent, Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong activated his Strong Kong and Skips dashed up to DK.
(Cue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8wYKVPXF3Q)
Skips started rapidly punching DK in the chest, referencing a certain MGR moment.
Skips: Why won't you die?
Donkey Kong: Bananas, son! They get tastier in response to physical trauma!
DK punched the Yeti into a destroyed building and then hopped in the air. He fell down with such a force that it pushed both of them into the core of the Earth. DK's Strong Kong was almost out, so he had to do something quick. He charged up a super punch whilst Skips was ready to attack. Both attacks collided and the strength of both the Fists of Justice and the Strong Kong had split the planet in half.
Both heroes fell through space and landed on another planet.
Skips: Let's finish this!
Donkey Kong started throwing a whole bunch of citrus grenades at Skips. They all blew up and the Yeti fall onto another planet.
(Cue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAdiMbqVKDM)
Both fighters were bruised, crippled and broken. Skips skipped towards DK a punched him in the face, launching him through more planets. DK hopped off of another planet and grabbed Skips. They both headed towards one of the Earth's separated halves.
Part 4: Final Battle[]
It was the end. Both fighters were ready to finish the other. Skips started by kicking DK in the face and then pushing the ape into a large building. The building collapsed and crushed DK. DK hopped out of the rubble and slapped Skips into the ground. The monkey landed on the floor and started rapidly punching Skips, making him go farther into the ground.
DK then aimed his coconut gun right at Skips' face and fired, knocking the yeti into the air. He then punched Skips into another building. DK then started charging up another punch and so did Skips. Both fists collided and both hoped that they were strong enough...
Skips: GAH!
The Yeti started exploding from the inside and eventually blew up into bloody chunks. DK landed on the ground and right before fainting he said,
Donkey Kong: That's why I'm the leader of the bunch.
Results[]
Puppy: Woah! That was epic!
Kitty: Skips' intelligence, experience and Fists of Justice could definitely help him match DK and he could have won in many scenarios, but DK's strength, speed and arsenal would eventually beat the Yeti out in the end.
Puppy: DK was faster because he scales to Dixie who dodged lightning, whilst Skips has barely shown many feats of speed. He was undeniably stronger due to punching a moon out of orbit.
Kitty: Skips had one trump card that could certainly help him, The Fists of Justice.
Puppy: The Fists of Justice could harm Klorgbane, so the Fists could most definitely harm DK but not kill him.
Kitty: And yet, DK's arsenal trumped Skips'.
Puppy: Sure, Skips was more experienced and intelligent, but those advantages didn't help against DK.
Kitty: Skips' experience, intelligence and Fists of Justice were a tough match for DK, but he was too much for the groundskeeper.
Puppy: Once DK stopped Monkeying Around, it was over for Skips.
Kitty: The winner is Donkey Kong!
Track Cover[]
Next Time[]
“Kept you waiting, huh?”
SOLID SNAKE SNEAKS UP ON DEATH BATTLE!