Shrek vs. The Grinch

Shrek vs. the Grinch 1/2
Season 1, Episode 7
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Air date	April 30, 2015
Written by	Venage237
Directed by	Venage237
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Shrek vs. The Grinch is a What-If Death Battle created by Venage237. This fan made Death Battle features Shrek from the DreamWorks series; of the same name, and The Grinch from Dr. Seuss', How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Description

DreamWorks Shrek vs. Dr. Seuss. Today, two outcast from society are going to battle each other to who is the superior heroic outcast. They are big, green, as well as stinky. One is an ogre, the other is..... a Grinch.

Interlude

Boomstick smells something foul.

Boomstick: Oh, God! Phew! What the hell is that smell!? Was that you Wiz? Please tell me you didn't eat that triple decker bean burrito burger, with garlic cloves on the side.

Wiz: That wasn't me Boomstick! Trust me, if it was me, you'd be comatose for a year or two. What you're actually smelling are the next two combatants. Big, Green creatures, who are also outcasts, not to mention incredibly smelly.

Boomstick: Oh you mean Shrek, the Ogre Prince of Far Far Away?

Wiz: That right, and The Grinch, that stole Christmas.

Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who will win a Death Battle.

Shrek

Wiz: Fairytale stories are known to have predictable outcome. The handsome Prince charming sets off on a journey to rescue a beautiful maiden or princess. Confront a dragon, slay monsters, break curses, possess a beautiful horse as a noble steed by their side, and marries the maiden.

Boomstick: But what happens if that story was reversed? The prince being the villain, your noble steed was reduced to a jackass, and the one who rescues, and eventually married, the princess, confronted the dragon, and broke the curse... was a big, green, and odorous monster?

Wiz: And this is where Shrek comes in.

Boomstick: Standing in at least eight feet tall, weighing in at about 450lbs, Shrek is one big ass monster.

Wiz: Shrek is a mythological creature known as an ogre. When he started out, the townsfolk were terrified of him, to the point where they placed a bounty for anyone you captures him, dead or alive, and would go to his house with torches and pitchforks.

Boomstick: But Shrek always outsmarts them and scares them away with a yellow trail following closely behind them, and fresh chocolate in between their legs. Though sadly, he never kills and them, despite the fact that apparently ogres make suits from a human's freshly peeled skin, shave people's livers, and squeeze the jelly from their eyes.

Shrek: Actually it's quite good on toast.

Wiz: Shrek has been doing this for some time, until he came across someone who would change his life....

Boomstick: Eddie Murphy, as a jackass!

Donkey: OH, this going be fun! We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning... I'm making waffles!

Wiz: And when all kinds of fairytale creatures began to move into his swamp by the orders of Lord Farquaad, both he and Donkey went on a journey to reclaim his swamp.

Boomstick: But before he could get his swamp back, Lord Farquaad made a deal with Shrek that if he rescued a princess that was guarded by a fire-breathing Dragon, and bring her back to Duloc, Farquaad would give Shrek his swamp back.

Wiz: And he did eventually managed to rescue the princess, named Fiona, from the Dragon. However, as the two were journeying back to Duloc, Shrek began to develop feelings for Fiona, and she also developed feeling for him as well.

Boomstick: AND after learning that Fiona's secret, that she was cursed to turn into an ogre every night, Shrek admitted his feeling for her, broke the curse, and married a princess. Though Fiona is now 24/7 an ogre.

Wiz: Though she doesn't seem to mind, as she married the man, or rather, monster she loves.

Boomstick: Eh.... to be fair, I've seen weirder relationship; like a donkey getting it on with a dragon. I don't even want to know how that works.

Wiz: Being an Ogre, Shrek possesses superhuman strength, and endurance. He can also emit loud roars that easily terrify people when they don't expect it. His roars are so powerful that he can generate a sound wave.

Boomstick: But there's something that's stronger then his strength and his loud roar; and that's his odor. HE FUCKING STINKS!

Wiz: It's true. According to Shrek, his farts alone are strong enough to either daze anyone, or even kill anyone near him, though ogres, and presumably anyone who's used to his odor, and any foul orders are immune to his farts.

Boomstick: Shrek also tries to improve his odor by bathing in mud and swampy waters, eating disgusting and horribly smelling food, and other disgusting habits. Not to mention Shrek's farts and belches can prove to be useful too; if he has a torch, or any item with a flame, he can become a living flamethrower.

Wiz: Shrek is a strong Ogre. He fought, and beat a large number of Farquaad's knights in a wrestling ring. Managed to escape the dragon's keep, while rescuing Princess Fiona and Donkey, unscathed, escaped Fairy Godmother's potions factory....

Boomstick: And he even tolerated Arthur (*bleep)-ing Pendragon!

Wiz: He also managed to beat Prince Charming, though to be fair Prince Charming was a bit of a wimp. Became a hero, as well as beloved through the eyes of the people, and when he accidently created an alternate world where he was never born, helped the ogre rebels defeat and captured the tyrant Rumpelstiltskin.

Boomstick: Wait, isn't that the same guy who spins straw into gold for a fee?

Wiz: Yep, it's the same guy, except, everyone knows his name. Know let's get back to Shrek.

Boomstick: Okay! But despite Shrek having impressive feats, he also has some flaws. For one Shrek has a bit of a temper, and is kinda stubborn. As such, he mostly likes to keep to himself. That is until he married Fiona, and temporarily became king of Far Far Away.

Wiz: He also does seems to have an on & off fear towards large crowds with torches and pitchforks, as proof when he felt uncomfortable walk towards the in-laws, WHILE some of the people had pitchforks in their possessions. Shrek is also prone to getting captured at least once per movie. And while he is great a dealing with a crowd of knights, he can he overwhelmed to the point where hundreds have piled on top of him.

Boomstick: But regardless of these flaw, Shrek remains as one of DreamWorks most popular characters. And as that saying that we found on the internet goes;....

Wiz and Boomstick in unison: Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

Fiona: What kinda of knight are you?!

Shrek: One of a kind.

The Grinch

Wiz: Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot...

Boomstick: Wiz, don't you dare rhyme. We don't have to the time.

Wiz: Uh.... Boomsti...

Boomstick: Yeah, Yeah, I realized what I did, shut up!

Wiz: Alright, I won't rhyme... intentionally.

Boomstick: You better not, otherwise I'll turn you into a puddle of snot!

Wiz: You did it again...

Boomstick: God Dammit!

Wiz: Anyway, AS we've mention every Who that lives in Whoville loves Christmas a lot, but there is a creature who lives just north of Whoville who despises Christmas....

Boomstick: It's the Grinch, ya bitch.

Wiz: Uh..... mmm.... I'm not even going to bother.

Boomstick: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!?

Wiz: Okay, let's continue. Now depending on the continuity, The Grinch's origins varies. In the book as well as the animated shorts, the Grinch's past remains a mystery. But the only thing that's known is that he's just a creature who lives in a cave on top of Mt. Crumpet who hates Christmas. While in the live action version with Jim Carrey, they reveal his back story's history.

Boomstick: Hey, wait a minute! Mystery, History? I thought we agreed that you wouldn't rhyme intentionally!

Wiz: Sorry, it slipped.

Boomstick: Yeah right!

Wiz: Anyway, when the Grinch was born, which by the way, Whos aren't born the same way we're born.

Boomstick: How are they born Wiz?

Wiz: They apparently float down from the sky in a basket via a pumbercellas.

Boomstick: Wiz, what the hell is a pumbercella?

Wiz: It's most likely their version of an umbrella.

Boomstick: Oh Okay! So what happened to the Grinch?

Wiz: Well, when the Grinch "born", he was taking in and raised by two elderly women.

Boomstick: Were the old bags roommates or lesbians?

Wiz: I.... don't think that was ever explained, and I highly doubt that they will ever explain it.

Boomstick: But even as a child, the Grinch has a bit of a disregard towards Christmas, but his parents thought it was just harmless child fun, so they let it slide.

Wiz: And while he was attending school, he fell in love with a schoolgirl name Martha May Whovier, who also developed feeling for him as well. Unfortunately, at that time, Martha May was the girlfriend of Augustus Maywho, who would later grow up to be the mayor of Whoville.

Boomstick: Who, Who, Who, there are too many Whos in Whoville! What's with all these names that have Who IN THEM!? Uh... My Apologies, so what happened next?

Wiz: Uh... well, Augustus began to bully the Grinch because he had a beard despite being eight years old. Wanting to impress Martha May, The Grinch created a gift for her. He then decided to shave his beard, but his face got cut up in the process. The next day, he presented his present to Martha May, but the students eventually saw the Grinch's cut up face and laughed in front of him, including his own teacher.

Boomstick: What!? The teacher is laughing at one of her students? What a bitch!

Wiz: Humiliated, the Grinch went on a rampage throughout the school, declaring that he hates Christmas. After which, the Grinch ran away, climbed up Mt. Crumpet and has been living there ever since.

Boomstick: Now that's a sad, sad story........ But who cares! Let's talk out the Grinch's abilities.

Wiz: If you insist Boomstick. So being a Grinch, which I'm assuming is a mutated version of a Who, the Grinch possesses supernatural strength. Hell, even as a kid, the Grinch was pretty strong, as he could lift and toss an entire Christmas Tree across the classroom, without much effort. He's also a master of disguise as he can fool the Whos without much effort, and well as being a master prankster and a bit of an anarchist.

Boomstick: And much like Shrek, The Grinch, fucking reeks!

Wiz: This is most likely because he live on the top Mt. Crumpet, as apparently Mt. Crumpet serves as Whoville's junkyard. He's also apparently immune to radioactive waste as he can grab bags full of that material, and not be affective.

Boomstick: He even uses that crap to power up his entire home. Well that's one way to get rid of all that junk. Maybe the Grinch was onto something. *gasp... Maybe HE was the one you made Mr. Fusion from Back to the Future!

Wiz: Doubt it. But it's not just the fact he lives near a junkyard which resulted in his smelly odor, the Grinch is also known to eat rotten food, eat entire beer bottles, with apparently no injuries or blood coming from his insides, and even uses raw onions as body deodorant. And even stranger then that, is that he can tolerate pain without much effort, such as when he had his head bashed in by a pair of giant cymbals, multiple times, and not be effected by it. He also apparently has razor sharp claws hidden underneath those long furry fingers of his.

Boomstick: Oh, and we also forgot his dog! Some time while he was living on his own, the Grinch got a pet dog named Max. How he got is never explain, but at least he has company. But despite those two living with each other, The Grinch does have a tendency to be a bit abusive towards Max, such as tossing him out of the house, and even forcing Max to carry an entire sled filled with everything the Grinch stole up to the top of Mt. Crumpet. Good God, somebody call fucking PETA!

Wiz: The Grinch is an interesting character in the Dr. Seuss lore. He managed to sneak around all throughout Whoville and steal everything Christmas related from every house with only one person catching him in the act; Little Cindy Lou Who.

Boomstick: He's also a great liar as he easily fooled Cindy, though to be fair, she was two years old in the book. And even his thieving skills are impressive, as he can even steal items out a Who's dreams without them noticing that something's was wrong with their dreams. Tell me another character who's capable of stealing items in a person's dreams!

Wiz: But easily his most impressive accomplishment is after he realized the true meaning of Christmas, he successfully lifted his sled, carrying an entire bag filled with everything he stole above his head.

Boomstick: But much like Shrek, The Grinch is prone with some flaws. For one he's.... Uh.... Actually I don't think he has any real flaws. The only thing I can think of is that he's shorter than Shrek. Can you come up with anything Wiz?

Wiz: I don't really know Boomstick. But if I had to stretch a bit to find at least one flaw, I guess he could be declared legally insane, as he has a tendency to talk to himself, almost as if he's making a conversation with someone else. After all, this works with humans as well. Humans are very sociable creatures, and if they don't communicate with anyone within a few days, they can go crazy, resulting in them talking to themselves. And the Grinch here, is the prime example of that.

Boomstick: So that's all you can find?

Wiz: Yeah, unfortunately. But you can't deny that the Grinch is one of Dr. Seuss' greatest characters.

Boomstick: That I can't deny Wiz...... But I still prefer Shrek over Grinch.

Grinch: I... HATE YYYOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!

Death Battle

(The scene starts on top of Mt. Crumpet. The Grinch looks towards the horizon, as the sun begins to rise. He realized the meaning of Christmas.)

Grinch: Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas means a little bit more.

As the Grinch's heart grew three time bigger, a big green monster appears behind him.

???: Stop right there!

The Grinch turns as sees the big green monster.

Grinch: Who are you?

Shrek: The name's Shrek. And I'm here to bring back everything you've stole from those Whos.

Grinch: Now, now.... Let's talk about this..

Shrek: You're DEAD for trying to ruin Christmas!!!!

Fight

Shrek charges at the Grinch and performs a clothesline.

Grinch managed to duck under and roll away from Shrek's attack.

Shrek then grabbed a large rock right next to him, and tossed at Grinch.

The rock hits the Grinch but the Grinch barely felt it.

Grinch: Well I guess you won't listen to me so you leave me no choice.

Shrek is shocked to see that the rock barely hurt the Grinch, but shrugged and got into a fighting stance.

Both Grinch and Shrek charged at each other.

Shrek tried to perform a bearhug on the Grinch, but the Grinch rolled underneath his legs.

Grinch then processed to attack Shrek from behind with his claws.

But Shrek quickly retaliated by swinging his back arm at the Grinch.

The Back arm successfully hit the Grinch on the side of the head, causing the Grinch to land head first into the snow, eventually resulting in him being buried in the snow.

The Grinch snuck towards Shrek underneath the snow.

With the window of opportunity, The Grinch jumped out of the snow, and uppercutted Shrek in the groin.

Shrek knelt down writhing in pain.

Grinch: Did I miss?

Shrek: No..... You got them!

Grinch: No I didn't! I was aiming at your head. Oh well. Nothing can be done.

Grinch then knelt down near Shrek and performed a odorous belch directly at Shrek's face.

Grinch: *(Belch.....)

Shrek took a smelt the belch and enjoyed, much to the shock of the Grinch.

Shrek: Hmmm. That actually smelt good.

Momentarily dazed by Shrek's enjoyment of his belch, Shrek punched Grinch in the face, causing the Grinch to be sent flying right onto the sled of stole Christmas items.

As the Grinch was regaining his consciousness, he noticed that Shrek was coming after him

While this was going on, the sled was beginning to slip and was processing to fall off the mountain.

Shrek lunged at the Grinch, but the Grinch used his legs to cause Shrek to pole-vault onto the sled.

Just as he was about to jump onto the sled and continue his fight with Shrek, The Grinch noticed that the sled was slipping.

The Grinch quickly grabbed the sled.

Shrek sees The Grinch, and processes to body slam onto the Grinch's face.

But the Grinch hides underneath the sled.

Shrek: Get out of there ya stubborn jackass!

As Shrek is trying to grab the Grinch, the sled slowly begins to slowly rise up.

Shrek backs up and eventually see the sled completely lifted up from the ground. He eventually noticed that the Grinch is directly underneath the sled, lifting the entire sled with two hand, directly on top of him.

Shrek: This is impossible!

Grinch: You want these gifts so bad, TAKE THEM!!!!

The Grinch, with momentum, pushes the sled towards Shrek.

Shrek attempts to stop the sled by grabbing it, but the momentum resulted in Shrek being push directly on the mountain side.

The jagged rocks hit Shrek's back as he's trying his best to out-strength the Grinch, while at the same time dealing with the pain.

The Grinch then pulls back and swings the sled to the side.

The Sled hit Shrek resulting in him, presumably being sent flying.

However, Shrek was holding the side of the Sled, as he's trying to get back onto the mountain.

During this, the Grinch losses his grip, which cause the sled to return back to where it originally started.

As the sled hit the ground, Shrek loses his grip an nearly tumble to his demise. But he quickly grabs one of the Christmas Tree lights, trying to regain his footing.

Shrek managed to regain his footing, and processes to climb up the lights, while at the same time, the Grinch is keeping the sled from falling.

The Grinch managed to lift the sled up again, and as he successfully lifted the sled, both he and Shrek spotted each other.

Shrek tried to swing at the Grinch, but as he was about to swing towards the Grinch, the Grinch lowered the sled, resulting in Shrek crashing into the mountain side.

Severally weaken, Shrek let go of the lights, as he fall down the mountain. However Shrek managed to grab the side of the mountain, as he's barely hanging on.

Grinch see Shrek trying his best to climb up the mountain.

Grinch talking to himself: Well, I guess I better help him, shouldn't I?

Grinch leaves for a few seconds.

Shrek tries to continues to climb up the mountain, but as he's about to reach the top, the Grinch returns with a large jagged boulder.

The Grinch used the boulder to crush Shrek's fingers.

Shrek screams in pain.

Grinch: Wrongo!

As he's screaming, The Grinch slammed the boulder into Shrek's face, causing Shrek to lose his balance and fall off the mountain, plummeting to his demise.

Grinch: Now let's return those presents to the Whos.

KO

• Shrek's mangled corpse is somewhere in the forest

• The Grinch slides down Mt. Crumpet to return the items he stole.

Conclusion

Boomstick: NO WAY! Did that SERIOUSLY just happened!?

Wiz: Well, yeah! Strangely enough, the Grinch's strength alone as well as his nimble nature was more than a match for Shrek's own strength and experience.

Boomstick: But how is that possible!? Shrek is Love, Shrek is life!

Wiz: Well remember Boomstick, one of the Grinch's greatest achievement is him lifting an entire sled filled with everything he stole. Though we don't know the actual size of Whoville, we can assume that it's a fairly big town, and when the Grinch broke into their houses, he stole virtually everything Christmas related. Christmas Trees, decorations, shocking, gifts, and the food in every fridges, and cabinets for Christmas dinner were all stolen by him. If he can somehow lift all of those items he stole, including his own sled, without straining his back, then that must mean that he's leagues stronger than Shrek.

Boomstick: Yeah I won't deny it, Shrek maybe strong, but he never really lifted anything as big as the Grinch's sled. Most of the stuff he lift are usually boxes that are about his size, as well as tree trunks. But wait, there was one incident where Shrek managed to push, a big tank filled contain Fairy Godmother's potion.

Wiz: That maybe true, but he never lifted that tub, he just pushed it. Not to mention it was on a hinge. So naturally, with enough strength, it can be pushed to the side. And even then it's most likely not as heavy as the Grinch's sled. Not to mention, he couldn't lift Dragon who's arguably, one of the heaviest characters in the Shrek universe.

Boomstick: Ahhh... Yeah I got nothing to counter that argument.

Wiz: Also, like we've had before, the Grinch is capable of ignoring pain, so he could easily shrug off nearly everything that Shrek could dish out. Shrek on the other hand is shown that he can feel pain, such as when his reaction when he got hit in the groin, much like us people.

Boomstick: You do know people will be raging for the death of Shrek, like they did with that other Death Battle right Wiz?

Wiz: I guess they're going to have to deal with it.

Boomstick: Well they say it's not easy being green, but I say it's not easy being... Dead!

Wiz: The Winner is the Grinch.

Alternate Ending

Shrek tries to continues to climb up the mountain, but as he's about to reach the top, the Grinch returns, with a rope.

Grinch: Grab the rope and I'll lift you up!

Shrek grabs the rope, and the Grinch pulls Shrek to safety.

Shrek: *pant, *pant, Why did you rescue me?

Grinch: I'll admit, I did steal all these items. But that was because I though Christmas was about the Whos buying stuff and giving it to another Who. But after hearing the Whos singing with joy despite them getting nothing, I realized the true meaning of Christmas. So I've decided to return everything I stole..... Until you showed up.

Shrek: Well then why didn't you tell me?

Grinch: I was trying, but you kept attacking me! So what do you say? Let's bygones be bygones, and help me return all of the items.

Grinch extends his hand out to Shrek.

Shrek grabs Grinch's arm and accepts.

Shrek: What are we waiting for? Let's return everything to those Whos!

Both Shrek and the Grinch slide down Mt. Crumpet on the sled until they reached Whoville.

It ends with the Grinch and Shrek reaching Whoville, returning all the items that were stolen.

Next Time

Two clones, created from first Death Battle champion, are about to battle each other to see who is the superior clone of Samus Aran.

Venage237's Fanon Death Battles