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Shrek vs Wreck-it Ralph is a What-If? Death Battle.

Description[]

Dreamworks vs Disney! Which strong and large outcast who was first a villain but became a hero will win?

Intro[]

Wiz: Animated movies have many strong, handsome heroes, but sometimes, the hero is a rather ugly and large beast.

Boomstick: Shrek, the Ogre of Far Far Away.

Wiz: And Wreck it Ralph, Disney's wrecker. He's Boomstick and I'm Wiz, and it's time to make these two fight in a Death Battle. But first, we gotta analyze.

Shrek[]

Boomstick: Somebody once told me, the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed....

Wiz: I can't believe we're actually doing this. Ugh, anyway, when Shrek was a 7 year old Ogre, due to Ogre rules, Shrek was thrown out of his house and told that no one would ever love him.

Boomstick: She was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead. Well, the years start coming...

Wiz: Can you stop singing All Star please?

Boomstick: Alright, fine. Party pooper.

Wiz: Anyway, Shrek being an Ogre has superhuman strength, easily being able to lift boxes and boulders and stuff like that. DreamWorks says that Ogres can lift 20 times their own weight, meaning that Shrek can lift up to 12,000 pounds or 6 tons.

Boomstick: I guess you can say Shrek's an All Star!

Wiz: Ugh.

Boomstick: Anyway, Shrek also has some abilities, like his ability to be good with any weapon, whether it be a sword, char or a shield. He's like Jackie Chan but Shrexier.

Wiz: Shrek also has potions he can use like the Strength Potion, which makes him stronger, the Speed Potion, which makes him quicker and the Shield Potion, which protects him from damage.

Boomstick: And last but not least, Shrek has disgusting abilities like farts and belches. His belches and farts just smell like crap at first, but when he gets a torch, they turn into flamethrower weapons.

Wiz: Shrek has defeated Farquaad's man, survived a beatdown from a dragon and outran said dragon, avoided lightning and even survived a kick to the nuts from Donkey. Shrek, however, is weak to sharp objects and has low self-esteem.

Boomstick: Insert Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life joke here.

Shrek: I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I'm a terrifying ogre! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET A LITTLE PRIVACY?!!

Ralph[]

Boomstick: Hey Wiz, remember the good old arcade games like Donkey Kong and Pac-Man?

Wiz: Yeah, I do.

Boomstick: Well, what if Disney decided to make an entire movie about an arcade?

Wiz: They'd make a lot of money, that's for sure. Anyway, Wreck-it Ralph is a character from an arcade who was originally the bad guy in Fix-it Felix.

Boomstick: After losing to him a lot, he decided to stop being a villain and go "turbo". He then met this glitchy girl and a Samus wannabe and with the power of Disney magic he defeated the actual bad guy and became a hero in your stereotypical Disney happy ending.

Wiz: Wow Boomstick, you basically just summed up the movie.

Boomstick: C'mon Wiz, every Disney movie follows this exact same pattern.

Wiz: Moving on, Wreck-it Ralph is pretty strong, as he's broke solid brick for many years. He can destroy walls with his fists. Ralph can perform multiple punches at once which are strong enough to destroy a wall in King Candy's castle.

Boomstick: He also has cherry bombs, which are bombs strong enough to destroy robots.

Wiz: And he also has....uh....well...er...

Boomstick: Wait, is that all he literally has?

Wiz: Basically. Anyway, Ralph is strong enough to break a 4 foot jawbreaker, survived falling off a building for years and is strong enough to lift a car. However, Ralph is a complete idiot and he struggles against agile characters.

Ralph: I guess it turns out that I don't really need a medal to prove that I'm a good guy and if that little girl likes me, how bad can I be?

Pre-Fight[]

Shrek vs Ralph set

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

Fight[]

Near Shrek's swamp, Shrek was sitting there enjoying some bug juice by himself since Fiona and the others had left for a festival. Suddenly, Shrek heard noises and saw a large man wrecking his house.

Shrek: What are you doing in my swamp!

Ralph: Who are you?

Shrek: Name's Shrek. Now do the world a favor and get your stupid behind out of my swamp!

Ralph: I'm not stupid, I'm a wrecker!

Ralph throws a punch at Shrek, but Shrek dodges.

Shrek: You just made a big mistake.

Fight!

Shrek vs Ralph render

Shrek punches Ralph twice, knocking him backwards. Ralph quickly gets up and rushes towards Shrek with his fists spinning. Shrek was unable to dodge in time and got punched multiple times before being uppercutted backwards.

Ralph then rushes up to Shrek and tries to rapidly punch him again, but Shrek dodges and grabs a shield to block Ralph's punching. Shrek then smacks Ralph in the face with the shield, knocking Ralph backwards. Shrek follows up with two punches and then grabs Ralph and chucks him a few feet away.

Ralph: I'm gonna Wreck you!

Ralph starts chucking cherry bombs at Shrek, who gets hit by them and was sent flying off the swamp area into another area below. Ralph begins punching the rocks above Shrek, causing the rocks to fly down at Shrek, who dodges them and hides away.

Ralph hops down from the swamp and begins to look for Shrek. Shrek sees Ralph coming and throws a massive boulder, which hits Ralph in the face. Ralph gets up, only to receive a dropkick from Shrek.

Shrek then performs a Clothesline, but Ralph dodges and punches Shrek multiple times, doing insane damage to Shrek. Shrek sees a sword and rushes towards it, but Ralph throws another cherry bomb, causing Shrek to fall onto a cart and go down a hill.

Ralph gets on another cart and drives after him, eventually catching up to him and proceeds to throw Cherry Bombs. Shrek dodges them and jumps on Ralph, causing the two of them to fall off the carts.

Shrek: Prepare to get Shrekted.

Shrek then punches Ralph multiple times in the face, before chucking him away. Ralph gets back up and charges at Shrek. The two giants begin trading more attacks. Ralph throws some rapid punches on Shrek, which send Shrek a few feet backwards. Shrek gets up and uses a burp to stun Ralph, then uppercuts him.

Ralph then throws more Cherry Bombs at Shrek, who jumps Ogre them. Ralph then jumps into the air and tries to kick Shrek, but Shrek dodges causing Ralph to hit the ground. Ralph gets up and tries to punch Shrek again, but Shrek dropkicks away.

Ralph: I'm gonna wreck it!

Ralph then rushes towards Shrek with his fists spinning. Shrek then looks for ideas and then sees a torch nearby. Before Ralph can reach Shrek, Shrek grabs a torch and proceeds to fart, causing fire to come out his butt and scorch Ralph.

Ralph: Ah, I'm burning, I'm burning, save me!

Ralph tries to take out the fire, but he was unable to in time and turned into ashes.

Shrek: Looks like I've got a new story to tell people at parties.

KO!

Shrek walks back to his swamp while Fix it Felix Jr., Sgt. Calhoun and Vanellope begin mourning Ralph.

Results[]

Boomstick: All hail our Ogrelord!

Wiz: This was an extremely close battle, but in the end, Ralph's stupidity and slow movement cost him the fight.

Boomstick: Sure, Ralph is strong enough to destroy walls, but Shrek's able to do that all the time. Shrek has also uprooted trees as well and destroyed a steel door, which are feats stronger than Ralph's.

Wiz: And while Ralph had the durability advantage since he's survived being thrown off a building, Shrek had ways to get around it. You see that flannel shirt Ralph's wearing? Flannel shirts are extremely flammable, so Shrek's flamethrower burps and farts would be able to kill Ralph if they connected.

Boomstick: Looks like it's all Ogre for Ralph. I guess you could say he got Shrekted....

Shrek wins

Wiz: Enough with the puns. Anyway, the winner is Shrek.

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