If it were voiced, Shirou would be voiced by Justin Briner and Noctis would be voiced by Xander Mobus
Interlude[]
(*Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates*)
Wiz: We covered a lot of combatants with a large variety of arsenals.
Boomstick: But these 2 are pretty much walking embodiment of arsenals. And swords. Lots and lots and LOTS of swords
Wiz: Shirou Emiya, Descendant of the Mage Killer and Fate/Stay Night's master of Saber
Boomstick: And Noctis Lucis Caelum. Son of King Regis and crowned Prince turned King of Final Fantasy.
Wiz: For this battle while we may mention their abilities to summon familiars, such as Shiro's heroic spirit and Noct's summonings, we'll not be using Saber in the fight that will be mentioned in the analysis. And also we plan on having Saber being saved for later.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE.
Shirou Emiya Traces on for DEATH BATTLE[]
(*Cues: Archangels*)
Wiz: The Holy Grail. A cup that Jesus at the Last Supper, and Joseph of Arimathea received it with Christ's blood in it at the Cross.
Boomstick: But there's more to this ancient piece of platter than christian tales seems to say.
Wiz: The Holy Grail was apparently an almost omnipotent that can grant the user one wish. Bt in order to do so, they must compete in the Holy Grail War. A competition that decides the ownership of it's power. Master's summoning Servants, Heroic Spirits brought forth as familiars, and meeting in battle until only one pair is left standing.
Boomstick: Kinda like those battle royal games except with all the.....cringe inducing memes. But surprising, The Holy Grail "War" is actually really goddam dangerous and if not careful. Not because the masters but the heroic spirits being so goddamn powerful, that they could end up destroying entire towns.
Wiz: One of the many victims of theses wars was the unlucky : Shirou Emiya.
Boomstick: Unlucky indeed. The poor kid had his entire town torched to the ground and lost both his parents in the process. That was till he was saved by the man who indirectly caused the fire.
WIz: This is Kiritisugu. A mage who competed in a previous Holy Grail War . Also known to many as the "Mage Slayer:. But unlike his actions in the past which took many lives, Shirou was one life he wanted to save instead of take. Adopting Shirou as a son and passed on his philosophy of wishing to be a Hero of Justice capable of saving anyone .
Boomstick: Seriously? This guy is a master slaying, gunslinging badass and he talks about something as corny as being a "hero of justice"? What a rip!
(*the screen goes grey*)
Wiz: Did you just
Thus Boomstick gasped
Boomstick: Wiz! We can swear again! Oh F%#$%^ eya- Oh goddammit $#%^. Must've been a malfunction or something.
(resumed)
Wiz: Riiiiight, well Shirou couldn't exactly be drawn to others easily to an emotional standpoint do to the trauma the incident inflicted on him. Some were exceptions, but shunned out most.
Boomstick: If it aint bad enough, he got involved in yet another Holy Grail War in his teenage years where.....
(*Showes footage of Lancer (Chu Chulainn) stabbing Shirou in the heart*)
Boomstick: Yeah, he's not coming back from that. Or is he?
Wiz: He was dead....at first. Shirou was resurrected through the means of a pendant, which possessed a strong concentration of Mana, thus enough to repair his heart.
Boomstick: After a chase scene of Shirou and a celtic hero, He ended up becoming another master in the 5th Holy Grail War. As the master of the Saber class servant King Ar-Wait, that's king Arthur!? I thought he was....well, a king!
Wiz: History depictions can often be lead to misinformation. Where King Arthur was actually a woman. Artoria Pendragon. Over time Shirou had multiple paths to choose from. Each having different......fates to what the story goes.
Boomstick: Fate, Unlimited Blade Works, Heavens feel yada yada yada, this world's storytelling is convoluted as it is.
Wiz: But it didn't matter what....fate was chosen, he would still maintain one thing. His increasing skill as a master.
Boomstick: He's pretty strong. He may look like a scrawny looking dweeb and he is, but hes got a lot of magic to back himself up.
Wiz: He can enhance his own physical strength, speed and durability as well as hardened the structure of any material he can put his hands on. Such as making paper sharp and dense enough to battle against normal weapons like spears.
Boomstick: That be a result of one nasty as hell paper cut. But he's also specialized in creating weapons out of thin air. Mostly he uses swords due to...very complicated stuff...
Wiz: Not very complicated. We'll get to that complicated mess later. Ahem. To add more detail to his repertoire, Shirou's technique as you would say is called Projection, Or Gradiation Air. A form of magic that a mage can use to shape magical energy into the material composition and design of an object that is being imagined by the magus. But there is a limited time it is formed before it disperses.
Boomstick: Outside of magic shenanigans he's pretty skilled in swordsmanship obviously, and showes some form of skill in archery. But things get weird when it's revealed he's got the Scabbard of Excalibur in his own body for some reason.
Wiz: And it's not just a piece of it either. It's the whole package. Avalon, the Excalibur sheathe gives Shirou a healing factor that protects him from fatal blows.
(*Cuts to Wiz and Boomstick*)
Boomstick: So what he do to get it? Did he swallow it? Oh my god! this whole time i was trying to get a healing factor, and all i had to do was swallow the sheathe.
Wiz: No he didn't swallow it he-
Boomstick: Can't hear you. To busy looking for a scab' to swallow-
And Boomstick is seen having swallowing a katana sheathe sticking out of his mouth. Wiz showing a disgusted face as soon Boosmtick gags out the scabbard and uses a nearby table for leverage.
Boomstick: Oh....oh god. That wasn't a good idea.... I'm gonna need some time
With Boomstick walking away, Wiz looks down on the saliva covered scabbard.
Wiz: The feeling of that being in the throat. that has to be
He proceeds to gag and after that his cheeks puff up and took a huge gulp and stomached his vomit.
Wiz: Jocelyn! Can you get this out of the office before someone throws up?
(Back to the analysis)
Boomstick: Ahem, we're not done with this whole magic shenanigans yet. He also got reality marble powers. Which in a sense may as well be a dimension sealed within your own mind.
Wiz: Every reality marble is a pocket dimension can physically manifest itself into the real world. Sealing away any danger inhabitants could have being dragged in battle. In Shirou's case, is a valley of swords that amplify his weapons capabilities and have an unlimited arsenal to his advantage. This is Unlimited Blade Works.
Boomstick: Which is the same reality marble as Rin's servant Archer. You might be wondering why, well to answer that is cause of a very long winded and convoluted reasoning. Spoilers for the whole lore in 3...2...1...
Wiz: Archer is actually Shirou's future self manifested as a servant.
Boomstick: Okay so Shirou became a mage because his dad is too. But his story takes 3 different routes... Each kind of giving Shirou different feats and story. And lover, obviously. In one story line, everything kind of goes to shit. So Shirou worked alongside this Alaya girl at one point and made a contract with her and became a Counter Guardian for the world as payment for the contract. Heroic spirits that aren't worshiped and made as a counter force if disaster happens. But cause he still had the pendant that Rin used to resurrect and heal him that he was summoned. But Shirou can also take other routes that don't connect to the same one that involved his path into becoming Archer. Cause this series is already bonkers enough.
Wiz: Through this connection, Shirou can use an ability similar to Archer. Expanding his tracing further to replicate any weapon he sees, with a certain limit. Thus Shirou's weaponry expands further.
Boomstick: First being Caster's Rule Breaker dagger. Weapon fitting....for a witch. This lightning bolt like blade can not only dispel magic but also has a really and almost broken effect. its in the name
Wiz: It can sever the pact a master has made with their servant. With Caster taking their place as master. Caster has done so in the paast when she used it to take away Shirou's pact with Saber.
Boomstick: And there is the Celtic Heroes cursed lance Gae Bolg. Which I am sure as hell hoping i'm saying that right. Yes SHirou can replicate the other moves the lance possess but he couldnt replicate the lance's curse.
Wiz: For a little firepower, Shirou can use the Flint Sword of Hercules. because he isn't a...well berserker he can perform a move akin to Hercules' Noble Phantasm. Nine Lives Blade Works. Nine consecutive slashes each faster than the speed of sound.
Boomstick: Stealing more from his badass other self, Shirou can also use Archers bow. Complete with arrows that can cause giant explosions, homing arrows and flower shields? Cant say I was expecting that.
Wiz: If that wasn't more absurd, Shirou gained his arm. No i am not kidding his literal arm that Archer gave him after it was severed. Surrounded in the shroud of martin to prevent his magic circuits from connecting. When remove, amplifies Shirou's abilities to that of a full grown servant. Receiving even the memories and powers of his future self....phew
Boomstick: Goddamn thats a lot of stuff. No wonder his stories are the ones showed the most. As we said, each story has different operformance of Shirou's arsenal. But since were using alll 3.....yeah were givign him all feats. Shirou's been kicked so hard he was sent through a window, and to the ground from the third story of a building. Normal humans can still die from that
Wiz: He;s also endured the Gates of Babylon, ABle to endure attacks from Kirei Kotamine, one instance killing him with the Azoth Sword-
Boomstick: Oh hey thats a weapon he has too.
Wiz: He's kept up with fighters of the likes of Lancer Cu Chulainn, deflected shots from Archer, and was able to power evenly with Hercules. Who's power to be said to level an entire mountain. While it isn't exact, Fuyuki City is roughly based off the Japan City Kobe.
Boomstick: And Japan is home to Mt. Everest, the biggest mountain in the world. Mount Everest.
Wiz: To completely destroy it, Berserker must have a energy output of over 8 megatons of TNT.
Boomstick: In short, its a helluva lot. And servants like Lancer and Medusa in the past could possibly move at light speeds in the visual novels. But they are more tell than show said so take that as you will.
Wiz: If it we're told, Shirou has shown that even from beginnings as small as his, he can turn the hands of fate into his favor. Even if it meant crossing multiple paths and timeliens to do it. Becoming a guardian spirit and possibly having his entire life on a living loophole.
Boomstick: More you think about it sucks to live the same life over and over again. Wintessing al the people you know die. Family love ones, friends.....dads.....Fate's cruel.
Wiz: Cruel indeed. But such is the way for life itself. And in a way, he accomplished his dream as a hero of justice. Just not the one he had first thought.
Shirou: Let's go, King of Heroes! I hope you've stored up enough weapons.
Noctis Lucis Caelum warps into DEATH BATTLE[]
(*Cues: Sword of the East*)
Wiz: Born as the son of King Regis and Queen Aulea, Noctis Lucis Caelum grew up in a world of war and calamity.
Boomstick: Tell me about it. One time a monster been unleashed in his kingdom by the Niflheim Empire when he was just 8 years old. Hoho, man.
Wiz: What didn't help prior to the attack was Noctis' mother Aulea died when he was still an infant. Adding insult to injury, Regis learned that his own son is the Chosen King prophesied to sacrifice himself to save the world.
Boomstick: Prophecies. Being cruel fates since the beginning of fiction. But things may have been getting better for Noct. After recovering recovering, where he befriended the young and beautiful Princess Lunafreya. His obvious soon to be wife. Lets admit it, we all saw that coming.
Wiz: On one occasion, Niflheim invaded Tenebrae and Noctis was separated from Luna. It wasn't till the age of 20, that Noctis sets forth from his homeland to see Luna again. Help formalize the union of state through marriage. Along the journey would be his 4 closest companion. His retainer Ignis, his high school friend Prompto and combat tutor Gladiolus.
Boomstick: And together they formed one of the most wholesome bromances in all of fiction. Riding Chocobos into the sunset and riding Regalia's by day.
Wiz: But in a world filled with monsters, dungeons, cup noodles-
Boomstick: Wait what about that last-
Gladio: THE ULTIMATE FLAVOR EXPERIENCE!
Wiz: and armies upon armies of soldiers, mechs or whatever comes him and his friends way, Noctis had to come prepared for the right equipment for his long journey.
Boomstick: Being trained by Gladio, he's skilled in whatever weapon he gets his hands on. Guns, spears, daggers, but he ultimately prioritizes in swords. And ooh boy he's got plenty of them. Long swords, short swords, a sword with engine it it, a sword shaped as a bow, a gunblade and tons of more.
Wiz: He's not just proficient with blade but proficient in other fields of weaponry such as spears, daggers, firearms and elemental magic.
Boomstick: But let's get to the cut of the jib. Noct's normal weapons are pretty handy and useful in their own right, but the true moment he shines is with his royal arms weaponry.
Wiz: Every Royal Arms Noctis has collected was a weapon originally belonging to his predecessors and ancestors. Only people of his bloodline and brand can gain access to these weapons and techniques.
Boomstick: The first royal arm is the Sword of the Wise. Allows Noctis to perform his signature attack, Warp Strike, without consuming any of his, magical energy. And considering how much Noct likes to warp around and shit, that's a plus.
Wiz: The Axe of the Conqueror can create a devastating over head smash, The Bow of The Clever can shoot four bolts in a single round, The Sword of the Wanderer can be split into two other blades-
Boomstick: Yeah yeah Noct has a lot of them and covering them all would take an almost eternity. Others ranging from a scepter, to a shuriken, and to even a trident.
Wiz: However what might be his most treasured was The Sword of the Father. The last royal arm he gained and the last mementos of his departed father. With it , Noctis can create holograms of himself that damage foes that come into contact, or use them as a line of a warp strike attack,
(*Cuts to Wiz and Boomstick*)
Boomstick: Noct is just a literal walking armory you have with you at all times, without having to lug it around. Heh, I guess that's not totally true. Gladiou and his friends always have to lug him around as he lugs them.
Wiz: Varying as they maybe, the Royal Arms all have a drastic downside to them. Using them drains Noctis of his overall stamina and to much can leave him in critical condition. Making the weapons as dangerous to him as it to his enemies.
Noctis: Off my chair jester, the king sits there.
Fight[]
(Carnival Phantasm Universe)
Opens up in the middle of a swampy area, as a fish bobble splashes into the water, now afloat. the one who casted it was Prince Noctis himself. Sighing in relaxation as he waits for his fish to take the bait. The bobble began viciously jumping up and down into the waters, with Noctis showing a surprised expression on how fast it took for the fish to catch the bait. Grabbed the fishing rood and began reeling in the "fish".
Noctis: This one's heavy.
And with a big pull, the prince himself pulled it out of the water. flopping around on the shores with no room to go. But it appeared to.....not be a fish, but Artoria Pendragon in a fish costume.
Noctis: Uh....
(*Cues: Will of The Drill*)
over time Saber Fish flopped, it slowly....died of dehydration. With the Prince standing there just completely bewildered. The cameras suddenly pans to the feet of someone walking and bags filled with groceries bags dropping and an orange rolling out of it. Revealing the person who was carrying ti was Shirou Emiya. Standing there with his iris shaking seeing the corpse standing near Noctis. (This is taking place in the Carnival Phantasm universe, so the reasoning is suppose to be absurd)
Shirou: SABER!!
Noct looked in the direction of the yell and al he saw was two boomerang like swords flying at him. Leaping back to dodge albeit it sliced his hat in two. Engaging combat, the Prince grabbed his fishing gear and reveals his normal attire under it and entered a blade clash with Shirou after he grabbed. The two exchanged slashes with their blades . With Shirou knocked back by a Firaga spell.
Shirou- Trace....on!
Hardening the ground, Shirou used his trace abilities on it and lured Noctis away as he dashed. Behind him a ground wall emerged. With Shirou making another causing the Prince to plant his face into the wall. Recoiling, Noctis look and saw Shirou pushed the other rock wall towards him at accelerating speeds ready to squish the prince between two stone walls.
Reacting, Noct through his sword somewhere else and warped. Avoiding getting crushed and appearing where his sword was stabbed.
Verdict[]
Wiz: The winner is....
NEXT TIME[]
(note i did not make this trailer)
Track Cover[]
If it were a track, it be called King of Fates
The track name references Noctis' status as king where Fates represents the name of the series Shirou comes from.
The cover consists of Shirou's twins swords clashing with Noctis' Ultima Blade while behind them is Shirou's servant command seal mark (And Shirou's red bandana as archer tied to one of his swords) and surrounding them is some of Noctis' Royal arms
credit to GamingMechanic again, ( I asked him.... here)
Sources[]
https://www.deviantart.com/kiradu60/art/Emiya-Shirou-JUS-284020309
Trivia[]
- The connection between Shirou and Noctis is that they are both the "sons" (albeit shirou was adopted) by fighters who were survivors of their respective global wars (The Holy grail War & The Battle of Niflheim respectively) (And Kiritsugu Emiya and Regis Lucis Caelum) that soon got caught up against a war similar to their fathers (With Shirou getting involved in a Holy grail War himself and Noctis fighting against the Niflheim army). Both are also capable of summoning multiple weaponry, primarily swords (Through magic & family bloodline respectively) and are capable of summon familiars to aid them in battle that are based of Historical figures and Mythology's (Shirou's Servant and Noctis' summons) and have also fought against foes with the exact same powers and abilities as them (With Shirou fighting against Archer & Noctis fighting against Ardyn) With both being related to said enemies in different ways (With Archer being a heroic spirit of Shirou and Ardyn being Noctis' uncle). Furthermore, both inherited their abilities through their respective parents (Shirou received magic thanks to Kiritsugu and training and Noctis' powers are a family inheritance) and lost their own parents due to tragic events caused by the war theyre in (Shirou lost his family in a fire caused by Kiritsugu and Noctis lost his father after Niflheim attacked his kingdom) and a lot of their weapons consist of other weapons of warriors of ancient times (With Shirou having multiple weapons of the servants he beat like Berserkers' club, Caster's sai, etc. And Noctis being able to summon the weapons that originally belonged to his ancestors. Ironically one of the weapons both are able toe wield is Gae Bolg. The weapon wielded by Irish hero Cu Chulainn). Lastly, both of their future selves became cold and a lot more aggressive as the results of the events that happen through their story and complete opposites of what they use to be (Shirou and his story to become Archer EMIYA & Noctis during the time skip portion of Final Fantasy XV)
- For the sake of making it debatable. Shirou will get abilities from all 3 paths and be scaled to Emiya Archer