Shikamaru VS Sokka
Lazy Smartasses.jpeg
Season 1, Episode 9
Vital statistics
Air date 10/12
Written by Lion
Directed by Lion
Episode guide
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Shikamaru VS Sokka is a What-If? Episode of DEATH BATTLE! Pitting Shikamaru Nara from the Naruto franchise with Sokka from the Avatar franchise.

Description

Naruto VS Avatar! The lazy, ponytailed strategists walk into the ring today in a duel of shadows and swords!

Interlude

(Cue Invader)

Blade: In the midst of war, the sword is often your go-to weapon, however, behind every tactic the sword-wielder uses there is a wise tactician.

Lion: Because even if busy slacking, these two are the tactical masters that put down the villains while behind the maps. Shikamaru Nara, the whiny strategist of shadow...

Blade: Sokka, the sarcastic general of the water tribe...

Lion: He's Blade and I'm Lion!

Blade: And it's our job to analyse their weapon, armor and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE!

Shikamaru

(Cue Hidden Leaf Village:- Naruto Shippuden Storm 2 OST)

Blade: Ever since he was just a small child, Shikamaru Nara of Konohagakure was a lazy, unmotivated individual, seeking nothing but some peace and quiet.

Lion: So when his dad enrolled him in the Shinobi Academy, Shikamaru hated its guts and stood with the troublemakers, spending his free time taking naps and getting your average bad grades. And by "free time", I mean class, because SCREW THAT!

Blade: With the way his track record was going, it's a wonder Shikamaru scraped up a successful graduation from the academy to reach full shinobi status and join Team 10.

Lion: Fortunately for him, Team 10's leader was fun, smokin' father figure Asuma, who recognized Shikamaru's talents as a shinobi and let him train at his own pace, which is slow, but sharp, strategic, and makes it all the more satisfying to conquer your opponent by cornering them like a trapped, helpless kitty.

Blade: "Cornering them like a trapped, helpless kitty" isn't far off from the way Shikamaru fights. Shikamaru uses a powerful variation of his clan's Ninjutsu, the Ninja Shadow Arts.

Shikamaru: Ninja Art... Shadow Possession Jutsu!

(Cue The Raising Fighting Spirit)

Lion: With the Shadow Possession Jutsu Shikamaru literally grabs his opponents with a shadow link to control them with his own physical movements. Must suck to be him on any Black Friday ever.

Blade: He even has the ability to reach out at his opponents with the Shadow Stitching Jutsu, which forms tentacles of shadow to grab them. Additionally, using shadow Jutsu  lets him form arms and legs of shadow as well.

Lion: Then there's the Shadow Pinning Jutsu, which lets him unleash a sharp spike from right under the ground to basically pin his opponents. And when he's through toying around, Shikamaru channels all his Chakra into one powerful Shadow Binding Jutsu, where he uses a rope of shadow to grab his opponents, entangle them, and finally make them go boom! Hey, I think I like this ninja!

Blade: How does Shikamaru make opponents go boom you ask? The answer is ninja tools. Shuriken and Kunai are any Shinobi's bread and butter. And, unlike regular shinobi who use taijutsu in meelee or just use a few or two Chakra Shuriken, Shikamaru uses them in meelee instead due to his lack of taijutsu experience, though he is pretty strong.

Lion: You may be asking yourself something now: How the FUCK does Shikamaru use a bunch of tiny metal toys and shadows to fight? The answer: 200 IQ.

Blade: Shikamaru's IQ is all he needs in a fight. It's his bread and butter, though he doesn't eat IQ, rather just wastes it watching clouds... Anyway, Shikamaru's IQ of 200 makes him smarter than some of the greatest geniuses known to man, including Stephen Hawkins and Albert Einstein!

Lion: This intelligence, this shadow Jutsu thingy, this tool crap... I can safely forecast a featstorm coming up.

Blade: Guess what? You're right, have a prize. Shikamaru is a master strategist, so good feats come with that.

Lion: Yup. During the Chuunin Selections, he had 200 moves decided throughout a rather short amount of time. He reached the rank of Jonin before the age of 15, skipping Chuunin entirely.

Blade: He has defeated Asuma in every last Shõgi match they've had to date, helped strategize in the ninja war, and was also among the group that took down Hidan and Kakuzu.

Lion: What about the fact that Shikamaru got about 9 ninja in one Shadow Possession when he was 13, hell, he even skips between trees with the speed to make it look like some big joke.

Blade: Shikamaru may always be one step ahead, but that doesn't stop him from his share of weaknesses.

Lion: Yup. Because Shikamaru is lazy, so lazy he just walks out of battle sometimes, saying it's too much of a drag. I mean hell, he only did badly back in the academy because he thought it was a drag to raise his pen up above.

Blade: That aside, Shikamaru relies heavily on the shadows around him, meaning his Jutsu will only work very well in lots of shadow. Also, limited Chakra is a thing.

Lion: Being the source of all power in Naruto, Chakra needs to be recharged if lost from the body, and, since he's Shikamaru, he has a 99.99% chance of backing off, saying that's a drag. But hey, to him, a drag just means his opponent's gonna land on their butt and run before Shikamaru gets them in an easy-win checkmate. Because that is the way of a Nara shinobi, especially one as good as Shikamaru.

"That doesn't scare me at all. Between you and me, what we believe in is different. What I believe in is the "will of fire". Your God isn't some stupid Jashin-Sama or anything. Right now, it's me. And I'll give you judgment!!!!"

Sokka

(Cue Entrance to the Northern Water Tribe)

Blade: Born to a great Water Nation General alongside his sister Katara, Sokka of the Water Tribe is no ordinary man.

Lion: Yup, because after his momma died and he started training with a boomerang and a club he was always craving battle. Battle as in throwing himself into the face of people who can FUCKING BEND FIRE, that is! And you thought Deadpool was crazy!

Deadpool: Someone say my name?

Lion: Fuck off.

Deadpool: Love you too baby.

Blade: ...Anyway, when his sister found an air monk within a block of ice and found out said air monk was to be the avatar, Sokka was skeptical over this, laughing in the face of such an idea since he was just twelve.

Lion: Said twelve year-old showed old Sokka a thing or two.

The point where Aang goes into Avatar State plays through.

(Cue Scraf Dance)

Blade: Anyway Sokka was to soon lose his sarcastic and skeptical ways, as he was soon to find out that this journey would require his skills as a strategist, even if he doesn't know how to bend.

Lion: Because aside from using caveman tools in the form of a club and a boomerang...

Blade: Which surprisingly has good accuracy even at a blind spot...

Lion: He has training in swordsmanship under a master who commented that Sokka is pretty fucking good, and also uses hunting spears and machetes!

Blade: By trade Sokka is a plan-maker, having planned many wars and being the one who, with the help of his genius, helped take down the Fire Nation in this way.

Lion: Did I mention Sokka, despite being a pigheaded jerk sometimes, is pretty fucking strong? He was able to kill Combustion Man by throwing his boomerang into his eye, and even incapacitated Wan Shi Tan by delivering a stealth kick, although Aang and Katara failed with their bending.

Blade: Don't forget the time when Sokka broke his leg, he held on to Toph and struck down two firebenders with his boomerang and his sword, basically his bread and butter, and although he lost both weapons in the process, he still did a good job. Hell, he's even been able to keep up with superior fighters like Ty Lee and Zuko.

Lion: But if it's one thing Sokka isn't good at it's not being cocky. He's a bullheaded fool sometimes and is usually skeptical even during combat, being a total lousy asshole sometimes and just charging in.

Blade: But all that aside, Sokka is a non-bender and is nowhere near the power of the rest of his group. He's kept up with them sometimes, but never surpassed them.

Lion: That aside, Sokka's still awesome...

Blade: And funny at that.

Prince Zuko: Not up to anything, huh?

[Sokka is startled, yells and falls of Appa]

Sokka: Fine, you caught me. I'm going to rescue my dad. You happy now? 

Pre-Death Battle

Oker.png

(Cue Invader)

Blade: Well then, the fighters are set, let's end this debate once and for all.

Lion: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!

DEATH BATTLE!

Konohagakure Village...

(Cue Afternoon of Konoha)

"Oh man, what a drag..."

A teenager of about average height wearing an armored green vest, with dark, heavily shadowed eyes and deep blue sandals, a dark vest and dark ponytailed hair sat down under a tree before the ramen shop, tired from his walk. With a slow yawn, he began to relax himself.

"First the village goes to hell after Kakashi's fight with that cyborg, then Sasuke shows up mortally wounded. I'll be a happy man when all this "patrol the village" garbage ends..."

Shikamaru yawned another time while scratching the back of his head. This was really such a drag... If only he had some entertainment in between...

CRASH!

(Cue Bad Situation)

"Oh man, what now?"

Standing up, Shikamaru got to his feet and walked toward the direction of the noise, letting out a slight yawn as he did so. After a long, drag, extensive walk, the shinobi found signs of a fight near the village gates. He fingered the footprints.

"Judging from this somebody in the village was attacked..."

Shikamaru looked up, turning his head in the directions ahead.

"Better follow the footprints..."

As Shikamaru walked off, a man in the bushes darted out behind him, letting out a strangled cry of battle. He wore a blue skin coat, and was holding a blue club. His hair was also tied back in a ponytail, but unlike Shikamaru, he was more tribal-looking. Shikamaru turned around with a stifled yawn.

"Who are you, a mentally affected savage?"

"Look who's talking."

"Look who's surrounded by clones of his opponent."

Sokka looked around. All around him, there were several Shikamarus. Now this was weird.

"That's what I suspected. Ever since my buddies and I travelled near your village, I thought you were a bunch of jokers waiting to ambush us."

Sokka drew his sword. Shikamaru smirked, pulling one single Kunai from his tool pouch, thrusting it at Sokka.

"Your opponent was another clone, right?"

Sokka nodded.

"Well then, good luck, because there's just this many this time, and the real one is way stronger than any random clone."

Sokka looked up.

"Found you, acting so smart."

Every other Shikamaru Shadow Clone disappeared, as the real one jumped in front of Sokka from a tree, surviving the fall like it was nothing.

"Not bad... For a savage."

FIGHT!

(Cue Swamp Fight)

Sokka attempted a fast kick to Shikamaru's throat, but the shinobi was replaced with a log the instant his foot made contact. Shikamaru reappeared behind Sokka and stabbed him in the back with a Shuriken.

"Tut tut, that didn't go to well."

Sokka smiled.

"It went exactly the way I wanted it to."

Sokka slammed his fist into Shikamaru's mouth, delivering two more punches as he did so. Shikamaru fell back, as Sokka attempted to deal a third punch.

SLAM!

The punch missed, causing Sokka's fist to slam into a tree. Shikamaru got back up.

"Oh man what a drag... It'll be easier if I kill you here, but it'll be more fun to free you and fight... Yeah, I'm that bummed out. Maybe..."

Sokka slammed his other fist into Shikamaru's gut, nearly making him fall over. Shikamaru regained balance quickly, though, and shot upwards into the treetop. Sokka pulled out his fist.

"You aren't bad for some wannabe ninja joker, but you gotta be more genius to put me down."

Sokka slammed his club full-force into the tree, making it shake, causing Shikamaru to fall over and slam into the ground. Sokka attempted to bash him with the club, but a Substitution Jutsu shot up as Shikamaru reappeared behind Sokka, slashing him in the back twice, followed by a kick. Sokka flew forwards into a tree.

"Ninja Art:- Shadow Stitching Jutsu!"

A set of heavy, dark tentacles shot from under the ground like a spider under Sokka, stitching him to the tree. Shikamaru took this opportunity to make his escape into a nearby tree and shut his eyes.

"Oh man, what a bother... This dude isn't joking when he wants to kill me... Well, I guess it's time to choose a good move..."

Shikamaru shut his eyes, turning everything dark.

Sokka was still bound to the tree, his legs kicking to get out as his mouth tugged at the strings of shadow, which only tightened their grip. With one mighty squirm, however, Sokka burst free from the shadows, jumped up, and landed on his feet at the village gate. Rubbing his arms with each other, he looked up at the tree where Shikamaru was earlier.

"So you gonna get down or waste your time up there?"

"I'm right behind you, idiot."

Sokka, startled, jumped up, falling down turned to face Shikamaru, who was in the front of a house in the village. He ran forwards and swung his sword, only to miss. Shikamaru delivered a kick that sent him bursting forwards into a building, falling through the window and getting his head stuck in a barrel of wine. Shikamaru jumped into the shady building through the roof, letting the sun let loose some shadow into the dingy cellar. Sokka pulled the barrel off his head, pulling out his sword, his face now pink. In his mind, Sokka was also coming up with a plan to defeat Shikamaru. He slowly edged forward, as Shikamaru walked backwards. Sokka waited a few seconds.

...

...

Sokka lunged forwards with all his might, whereas Shikamaru instantly, with extreme reflex, shot a chakra shuriken right onto the ground and darted backwards into the shadows, as Sokka leapt onto the shuriken and sliced right towards the shadows where Shikamaru had jumped into.

"Shadow Pinning Jutsu!"

Sokka was sent flying up onto the roof as the Shadow Pinning stabbed into him. He fell to the wood as his opponent jumped out and advanced on him.

"Checkmate."

Shikamaru pulled out his longest, sharpest Kunai knife as he walked towards Sokka. He raised the knife, and delivered a sidewards stab at Sokka's waist while grimacing to keep a hold of the Kunai, which was fighting a duel with Sokka's sword.

"Not bad, although pretty easy to figure."

Sokka just chuckled. The sword overpowered the Kunai due to the size difference, letting him whack Shikamaru twice with the club, followed by raising his sword to deliver a deadly blow, but before he was able to, Shikamaru used the substitution Jutsu to dodge the slash, making Sokka slash a log in half instead. Shikamaru reappeared behind Sokka, delivering a kick that bent Sokka's backbone, following up by using both his arms to snap Sokka's wrists. Sokka stumbled back in agony.

"Owowowowowow...."

"Having fun yet?"

Shikamaru dashed upwards, tentacles of shadow engulfing him as he said this. He smirked.

"This is the strength of a Shinobi."

Sokka stood back up, severely bruised, with a black eye, and replied,

"Nice name, where'd you get him, a joke book?"

Shikamaru laughed.

"I'd counter-argue but you're a drag and a waste of energy. It'd be too much work."

Shikamaru smirked as he said this, landing on a tile and gathering chakra at his feet.

Sokka swung at him, but Shikamaru jumped onto a streetpost to avoid the attack. Sokka hurled his boomerang forwards to try and get him away, but Shikamaru jetted forwards at this and delivered a fist to Sokka's face that sent him flying off the roof, sliding onto the street. Shikamaru gathered up even more Chakra, jumping upwards and a Kunai in his hand, stabbed it into the ground, from where a shadowy tentacle popped out and hurled Sokka into the air. Shikamaru jumped upwards, delivering a soaring kick to Sokka's chest.

SLAM!

Sokka fell into the ground fast, and groaned as if the breath had been knocked out of him. Shikamaru began to huff tiredly.

"Gah... Too... little... Chakra... Left..."

(Continue Bad Situation)

Sokka jumped up instantly, bringing his club into Shikamaru's waist, before slashing at him twice with the sword. Sokka followed by bashing him in the head several times with the club, followed by a kick that made him cough up blood as he fell back. The shinobi had only one option now if he didn't wanna use too much Chakra. Taijutsu.

Shikamaru got in fighting position as Sokka dashed at him, trying to slash. Shikamaru fell back, jumping onto a roof. Gathering Chakra sounded like a good idea. In a few seconds, Shikamaru dashed back off from the roof, his Chakra restored, as he prepared to attack.

Sokka screamed as giant hands of shadow creeped out under him. He tried to run, but a hand grabbed him and hurled him at Shikamaru, who kicked him into the air. Sokka flew upwards before slamming into the ground with a low thud. Shikamaru jumped off as well, but found out all his gathered Chakra had been depleted too much!

"Hah, who's the boss now?" Quipped Sokka, walking forward as Shikamaru ran up to a bridge, which was still unfixed. Sokka ran after him, delivering a slash near his throat, but before he was able to land the attack, Shikamaru disappeared.

"Wha-"

Sokka suddenly found himself doing a tap dance. He was forced to crane his neck in the direction behind him, spotting Shikamaru there, doing a tap dance as well.

"Man, it was a drag to come up with but I finally got you."

"Wha-"

"That one you were fighting there was my Shadow clone. Up in the trees, I was waiting, watching your every move, waiting for the sun to get lower so a Shadow Jutsu would be more effective. I had the clone lure you onto the breaking bridge. Now all I have to do is finish the deed. Leave you possessed and let it unfold."

"But you'll drown too, so what's the point of your strategy if it all ends in death?"

"That's the thing..."

Shikamaru let go of Shadow Possession, stabbed Sokka twice, before kicking him into the lake.

"I immobilized you with the stabs. I only have to withdraw the Shadow Possession."

(Cue Reconciliation)

Sokka felt himself fall into the water, as deep blood leaked from the wounds on his stomach and his shoulder blade. This was the end for him. His vision was going blurry. Katara, Toph, Zuko... this would be the last time he met them. Aang was long gone though...

Sokka sighed, but only bubbles streamed from his mouth as he did so, the clouds beyond distorted by the water's surface.

This wasn't a bad way to go, really, thought Sokka as his arms went limp in the water. Staring up at the clouds, the sun... the heavens... maybe he'd meet Aang, or his mother there... maybe...

Sokka smiled as his face went blue and his eyeballs rolled into his head. His body went full limp mode as he fell to the lake bottom, motionless, streams of blood leaking from his wounds.

Meanwhile, Shikamaru was standing on the water.

"Besides... Shinobi have an ability that lets us walk on water."

K.O.!

Shikamaru jumps onto a rooftop and takes a nap, waking up at night.

Sokka's weapons wash up near a bear.

Conclusion

(Cue Strong and Strike)

Lion: Put a Sokka in that one, won't you?

Blade: Now when it comes to experience Sokka did definitely hold a major advantage. Both have planned wars and fought their way through, but Sokka's simply been doing it longer. Shikamaru, on the other hand, is the smarter among the two, due to being at 200 IQ and showing the 200 moves feat Sokka never showed.

Lion: So experience goes to Sokka, intelligence to Shikamaru. If you think it's a fair one now, then you're wrong. Because Sokka was outclassed. Everywhere. Brutally.

Blade: Shikamaru has shown the speed to casually leap through several trees at once, which is much faster than the speed of the type of opponents Sokka fights, such as casual firebenders and Ty Lee or Zuko.

Lion: Both are pretty wimpy, but Shikamaru's ninja tools helped him stay at a safe distance from Sokka and still fight. Even if Sokka were to somehow get nearby Shikamaru is still strong enough to dish out hits and use Substitutions to avoid any major damage. 

Blade: Even if Sokka's experience is greater Shikamaru has made strategies to counter far more fearsome foes such as Madara, who is a way deadlier foe than Ozai.

Lion: Staying at a distance meant Shikamaru would be able to use his Shadow Jutsu to his will, it'd be pretty freaking easy for him to just grab Sokka where he stood and pin him down, especially when Shikamaru has straight-up faced other gifted strategists such as Temari in combat. Sokka, on the other hand, had no way of getting near or countering Shikamaru or his Shadow Jutsu.

Blade: Overall, right from the beginning this was checkmate. Even if there wasn't much shadow Sokka wouldn't be able to get near Shikamaru, who would easily be able to find a nice, dark spot due to his better speed.

Lion: Looks like Sokka got shadowned.

Shikamaru wins.png

Blade: The winner is Shikamaru Nara.

Next Time on DB!

The ring is engulfed in cinders.

(Cue Street Fighter 5:- Ken's Theme)

???: You want a piece of me, the champ?

JOHNNY CAGE!

VS

???: Come on, let's turn up the heat!"

KEN MASTERS!

Johnny is shown going head to head with Liu Kang, after which Ken is shown dueling Ryu, and, after landing a Shoryuken, the vicinity returns to the ring as Ken is revealed on one end with Johnny on the other.

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