| Seras Victoria vs. Lady | |
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[[File: | |
| Season 4, Episode 5 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | October 18th, 2015 |
| Written by | Ahomeschoolingroudon |
| Directed by | Ahomeschoolingroudon |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
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Bitches love cannons.
Seras Victoria vs. Lady is a What-If? episode of Death Battle. Featuring Seras Victoria from Hellsing against Lady from Devil May Cry
Description[]
Hellsing VS Devil May Cry! It's a one on one gun fight of the two female cannon wielding companions of both Alucard and Dante . Who will win between the Trump Card and the Vampire Slayer?
Interlude[]
Boomstick: We've had a giant fucking guns battle, so let's do it again! In a battle between the two companions of trigger-happy protagonists?
Wiz: Seras Victoria, the Police Girl
Boomstick: And Lady, the daughter of Arkham. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!
Seras Victoria[]
Wiz: The Hellsing Organization, located in the outskirts of London they’re sent to halt the Millennium in creating artificial vampire forces that could help the Nazis win World War II
Boomstick: Wait. Seriously? Well shit, Red Skull be damned
Wiz: While their main trump card is the vampire Alucard. Then came another trump card, and Alucard’s fledgling vampire. Ser-
Alucard: Police Girl..Police Giiirl!
Wiz: ..you have gotta be kidding me.
Alucard: I’m not for once, ‘sup bitch.
Wiz: ..ugh. Anywho, pretending like I’ll ignore this guy, Seras whil-
Alucard: No, you call her the Police GIrl. With the big titties
Wiz: ..fine. “Police Girl” didn’t have things going as well even since the beginning, even if it isn’t fully known. But, due to her father being a police officer he ended up going too far in an undercover case. Which caused her family to be traced down, and hunted by a group of criminals
Boomstick: Heh, dumbass. Then Seras’ mother hid in her closet, only to be killed by the group of criminals as well. Being distraught Seras combated the group the only say she knew how, by fucking stabbing one of the members in the eye! ..only to get shot in the gut
Wiz: However, Seras survived this brutal encounter and taken to a orphanage. Due to what she had experienced, she ended up being a very violent girl, who was even considered too dangerous to stay in the orphanage.
Boomstick: However, she ended up staying there until she enrolled as a Police Officer.
Alucard: See? Police Girl!
Wiz: But that is until she ended up getting held hostage by a vampire disguised as a priest, planning to sexually assault her.
Alucard: That is until I, the fuck mothering vampire took a walk over there, killed his ass for being a cheeky dick waffle, and bursted Police Girl’s heart all over that tree. And then I turned her into a vampire, so now she’s a real fucking vampire Police Girl. With big titties
Boomstick: ..heh. I think I’m starting to like this guy.
Alucard: Oh you dirty bitch, work the shaft.
Wiz: Seras, being a True Vampire has enhanced physical abilities, she can lift up to 6 kilograms and can run out of the way of bullets at close-range. And she also has regeneration, able to regenerate from multiple holy knife holes within 3-5 minutes
Boomstick: And while Seras does have a 13mm Rifle, it wasn’t exactly up to par.
Alucard: So the solution, give that bitch a cannon
Wiz: ..what-
Alucard: Bitches love cannons.
Wiz: ..o-kay. Seras in exchange wields the 30mm Harkonnen Cannon, Seras’ signature weapon. Weighing in at 120 lbs, it’s superior to a majority of military weapons. And for good reason, as it fires depleted uranium bullets. And incendiary napalm rounds, which is able to destroy large groups of opponents both on land and in the air, hell Walter even states it can destroy a tank.
Boomstick: Now, normally this would be a difficult weapon to wield. But for Seras, she can wield it while moving and even fire it over her shoulder.
Alucard: But that’s not enough no, give that bitch more cannons! The Harkonnen II which weighs in at 345kg and with a range of 4 kilometers. It has a pair of 30mm Auto Cannons and 2 large ammunition boxes with the capability of being used as a grenade launcher and destroying a barrage of missiles in the air and even a whole airship!
Wiz: ..well, you know a lot about it.
Alucard: Do you even read my christmas list!?
Boomstick: But when that isn’t enough, once Seras begins to embrace her vampiric self. She can tap into the True Vampire, which boosts her already insane stats and granting access to greater powers. Even arguably having all of the powers Alucard does
Alucard: You, you comparing the Police Girl to the Fuck Mothering Vampire!?
Wiz: Gained by sucking the blood from a human for the first time, Seras has herself a shadow arm. Which I might add is able to block machine gun fire, rip through steel, and impale foes.
Boomstick: She also uses her Shadow Arm to fly, able to escape from a burning zeppelin. Hell, she even ripped through the ground. Picked up a giant fucking Howitzer and fired it on her own.
Wiz: And if you don’t know, even a lighting Howitzer weighs nearly 5 tons. But the estimated weight of this is more along the lines of nearly 8 tons, and that was all supported with nothing but her Shadow Arm.
Boomstick: ..WELL.
Alucard: Sweet black fucking sabbath.
Wiz: On top of this, she has insane regeneration and durability. She’s gotten sliced up by Zorin Blitz, and regenerated in a matter of seconds. And she’s been kicked straight through a steel floor, and blocked a kick that caused an injury in her arm. Only to be regenerated instantaneously
Boomstick: Hell, even without the True Vampire Seras is no pushover. She’s destroyed a few dozen ghouls in seconds when she was in a Blood Rage, sent Pip flying with 3 finger flicks, and hit a target 4,500 meters away with her rifle while only using one arm.
Wiz: But despite this, Seras is actually prone to fear and naturally gentle. And she’s highly emotional, but she won’t hold any punches..or..bullets, I guess.
Alucard: Welp, my boner’s gone
Wiz: Ugh..
Alucard: Heh. Houston, we have no problems..
Seras Victoria: If you want to die... If you want to die so much, just hang yourselves! You should've hung yourselves fifty years ago!
Lady[]
Wiz: In the worlds of Capcom, fewer gunslingers are better than the cannon wielding companion of Dante, Lad-
Alucard: Oh who the hell is this, and why does the person she’s working for look exactly like me? It’s like he’s trying to impress me like I’m his alcoholic father.
Wiz: But before she was the cannon wielding companion of Dante, she was once just an ordinary newborn. Given the name Mary, sh-
Boomstick: Hah, I get it. “Lady” “Mary”..eh? Eh? Am I the only one who gets it?
Wiz: However, her father just so happened to inherit the blood of the legendary priestess who Sparda, the father of Dante slew to seal the Temen-ni-gru.
Boomstick: The temen-no-what the fuck?
Wiz: ..just skip it. Because at some point, her father became obsessed with the legend and wanted to obtain the mighty Sparda’s power.
Boomstick: And the only way he knew how, was to slaughter Kalina Ann. Lady’s mother, and his wife.
Alucard: Was she a hooker?
Wiz: No.
Alucard: And like that you’ve lost me.
Wiz: ..anyway, Lady then disowned her father and changed her name to “Lady.” And set off on her journey to kill any and all demons, blaming them for corrupting her father.
Boomstick: Yeah, because that’s totally a smart move.
Wiz: However, she is very skilled in marksmanship, acrobatics and hand-to-hand combat. But her greatest strength in battle is her arsenal
Boomstick: This includes her trademark rocket launcher, Kalina Ann. Named after her mother, it can be used as not only a devastating long range weapon, but thanks to the bayonet it can be used as a grappling hook and close ranged weapon. Hell to the yes
Wiz: However, the Kalina Ann has a rather long reload time. However, Lady has other weapons she can use to circumvent this
Boomstick: Why would she even need to circumvent it? She barely even reloads it anyway
Alucard: Because we all need a new gun. Even one for the Police Girl
Wiz: The VZ.61 Submachine Gun is another one of her weapons, which also has a bayonet attached.
Boomstick: And she also has the CZ-75 Handgun, modified with match grade target sighting to boot. And like before, she barely needs to reload. At all.
Wiz: And for transportation purposes, she has the 1974 Ducati 750 Supersport. Which was a replacement motorcycle for when Dante destroyed her original
Boomstick: Yeah. Although she rarely uses it, it wasn’t even in the Video Game series. It was in the anime
Alucard: Again. Trying to impress me like I’m his alcoholic father
Wiz: But Lady’s feats will impress for being an ordinary human. She’s been able to hold her own for a while against Dante and Trish, even being able to disarm the latter.
Boomstick: Yeah, and she’s survived getting stabbed in the leg. And still kept going forward to kill her father, even landing the killing blow on Arkham.
Wiz: And she’s easily been able to kill off fodder demons on her own, proving that she’s still a very capable fighter.
Boomstick: But that doesn’t go for all demons. As she’s been humiliated by Dante for example. And while she has been able to kill off fodder demons, she has no real superpowers of her own. And still has the weaknesses a ordinary human would have
Alucard: Well, the least I can say. Is that she has a nice enough rack.
Lady: What happened next? Nothing, really. We took care of all the remaining devils and that was it. I still have a job to do that's far from done, which is to eliminate every last demon.
DEATH BATTLE![]
The Hellsing Mansion
Early Morning
It was the usual for the vampire Alucard, he was finished with one of, what he described was a enthusiastic walk in the woods. Even though what happens is that many casualties take place, however Sir Integra had other plans over the phone.
“‘Sup bitch” Alucard commented, to which Integra just groaned in response, “Sweet christ, just get to Temen-ni-gru and kill the demons infesting the tower, and bring the Police Girl with you.” Integra replied, to which Alucard groaned as well
“Oh come on, I have to bring her everywhere!” Alucard whined, to which Integra responded with “Ah ah ah! None of the sass.” Alucard then just rolled his eyes, “Yes ‘mom’.” Alucard said before he hung up, and took a plane to Temen-ni-gru along side his partner, Seras Victoria.
Temen-ni-gru
Once Alucard and Seras stepped inside through the front, there was a motorcycle engine going off at the back of the tower. It turned out that somebody was following the two, the Demon Hunter herself riding on her 1974 Ducati 750 Supersport, Lady.
Lady then stepped inside through the back, as Alucard began to shoot at the demons infesting the tower. “Hey Police Girl, you should totally join in! This is like House of the Dead, only a hundred times more awesome, one shot to the head and they explode!” Alucard persuaded, to which Seras rolled in.
“Fine, I’ll shoot some of the rotten bastards” Seras commented, as she took aim with her 13mm Rifle, shooting one of the demons in the head. Seras’ eyes immediately turned red as she went to a blood rage, “Oh fuck the hell yes..” Seras muttered as she dashed up to the Giantwalker Chamber.
Seras immediately opened fire at the demons in the Giantwalker Chamber, bursting their heads open one by one, that is until one last demon remained. And its head was sandwiched by two bullets at the same time, causing it to explode, both bullets coming from Seras and Lady now opposing each other.
“Just another demon to add to the list” Lady said, as she had equipped herself with the CZ-75 Handgun, Seras already had her 13mm Rifle, so the gun battle was about to start
FIGHT!
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NZZczu31QU)
Seras and Lady both aimed at each other’s heads, but it was Lady who fired the first shot, forcing Seras to dash out of the way and blindly fire at Lady. The bullet ended up missing Lady and impacting the wall behind her, to which Lady just scoffed and fired another bullet at her.
Seras ducked under the bullet’s trajectory, which caused the bullet to just harmlessly go past her. Lady continued to fire bullets at Seras directly, but Seras continued to dash out of the way of each one.
However, the bullets were hitting a nearby billiards game. With each bullet hitting the ball set in the holes one after the other, with the last one knocking ball number 8 in. That however was the least of what Lady wanted to do, as she fired the last bullet in her CZ-75 magazine.
But Seras just dashed out of the way of that bullet like she had been throughout the battle, to which Lady groaned in response to this. “Looks like you’re no average demon, time to up the firepower” Lady commented, as she discarded the CZ-75 Handgun.
Seras fired another bullet from the 13mm Rifle, but Lady backflipped out of the bullet’s trajectory while equipping her VZ.61 Submachine Gun in mid-air. Lady then landed down to the ground and took aim
Lady then began to rapidly fire bullets from the VZ.61 Submachine Gun at Seras, who tried to counter with the 13mm Rifle, but the Rifle fired too slow and the bullets began to hit Seras.
“Got you” Lady muttered, as she dashed up to Seras and swung her bayonette at her chest, causing her to dig a scar into it. However, Seras was far from finished with Lady, as her eyes went red as for the second time she was entering into a blood rage.
Seras then socked Lady straight in the face, causing her to get flung back a few meters distant as Seras dashed up to her. Lady tried to kick Seras in the gut, but Seras withstood it and sent Lady flying for a second time but with nothing more than a flick from her fingers.
Lady got back up to her feet as she began to fire at Seras again with the VZ.61 Submachine Gun after realizing she was outclassed in physical abilities, Seras zoomed out of the way before discarding her 13mm Rifle, with the intent of using a different weapon of hers.
Seras got out her trusty cannon and signature weapon, the Harkonnen and took aim. “Bitches love cannons!” Seras exclaimed, as she fired a uranium round at Lady, whom she shot back at with the VZ.61 Submachine Gun
However the uranium bullet pierce through the Submachine Gun’s and it continued towards Lady, so she rolled out of the trajectory. Seras however fired another bullet at Lady, which managed to strike her leg.
Lady let out a grunt before continuing to press on against Seras, “I gotta avenge my father..” Lady muttered as she got back up. This time however, she took out her signature weapon as well, the Kalina Ann.
“You can have a rocket to the face!” Lady exclaimed, before taking the first shot at Seras’ face like she said. Seras however tilted her head back to avoid the rocket and shot another uranium bullet at Lady.
Lady front-flipped into the air and with the use of the Kalina Ann grappled to the walls near her, before firing a barrage of mini-missiles at Seras. Seras was overwhelmed by the missiles and was sent up into the air.
Lady then got out of her grapple and launched herself towards Seras, before striking her twice with the bayonet. Then a third time which sent Seras flying into the wall behind her, Seras at that point was pissed beyond belief.
“Get some!” Seras shouted, as she fired rapid uranium bullets at Lady. Lady managed to duck under the bullets, as Seras bounced off of the walls and sent herself directly at Lady. Lady was forced to fire a wire shot at Seras, which hit her directly and slammed her straight into the ground.
“You may have been putting up a better fight than most of the fodder demons I fight,” Lady said, as she took aim with her Kalina Ann. “But that’s not to say you’re still a fodder demon!” Lady then fired another rocket at Seras, who was enraged at that point, she just wanted to kill off Lady and go home.
It was to the point where Seras began to embrace her true vampiric self, and she got up doing so with a now wide grin on her face. “I think you’ll change your mind..” Seras muttered, as the rocket came closer to her.
But little did Lady know, that Seras had now entered her True Vampire.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwi2pXpiQu4)
Seras’ arm now turned to her trademark Shadow Arm which she swiped over the rocket, blocking it. “Well, it looks like I have a new challenge.” Lady muttered to herself, as she reequipped her VZ.61 Submachine Gun, as the Kalina Ann needed to reload.
Lady then began to rapidly fire machine gun bullets at Seras, but Seras put her shadow arm over those too and blocked them as they went. Seras then shrieked in rage as she swung her fist at Lady.
Lady was thrown back, despite it not even being her Shadow Arm. Seras continued to grin as she leaped up and stomped directly onto Lady, causing the floor beneath them to collapse and send them into the floor below.
Chamber of Sins
Seras and Lady crashlanded into the chamber, as Seras continued to stomp on Lady before jumping back. Lady slowly got up and wiped the blood off of her dress, before discarding her VZ.61 Submachine Gun, the Kalina Ann had now been fully reloaded.
“I think it’s time to spice things back up” Lady commented, as she reequipped her Kalina Ann before dashing back at Seras. Lady swung her bayonet at Seras, ultimately stabbing her with it. But Seras regenerated from the attack instantaneously before kicking Lady back.
Lady then ended up tossing a handful of grenades forward, likewise Seras shot back with incendiary napalm rounds, lighting up the Chamber with explosions. Seras whacked Lady with the Harkonnen once the explosions cleared out, and she got out her greatest weapon.
Seras got out a pair of 30mm auto cannons, along with two large ammunition boxes on her back. Seras quickly opened fire with bullets spreading all over the place, aimed at Lady.
Lady however wasn’t slouching about herself, she fired the AT Missile at Seras before she unleashed multiple homing missiles, which began to avoid the bullets surrounding the arena.
Seras however carefully aimed with the pair of auto cannons, and shot the homing missiles to dust, before she ended up running out of ammunition.
“Well, what a waste” Lady mused, unaware that the 2 large boxes on Seras’ back were full of ammunition. Seras reloaded her pair of auto cannons with the ammunition boxes before discarding them.
Seras then tossed Lady up in the air with her Shadow Arm, before she began to open fire directly at Lady and causing her to get overwhelmed by bullets, which began piercing her.
“I-I have to avenge my father..!” Lady exclaimed strugglingly as she was sent flying through the air, Seras however took flight at Lady before making the Shadow Arm appear behind her, only for it to impale Lady straight through her chest and just inches from her heart.
Lady let out a scream of agony, as Seras began to wield her two auto cannons on her shoulders. Seras quickly rammed Lady with the two auto cannons, as she turned the two cannons to a grenade launcher. Before firing a pair of explosive incendiary grenades at Lady.
Lady was helpless against the onslaught, and once she was hit by the explosive incendiary grenades her entire body exploded in a mess of blood and guts, which ended up filling the entire chamber. Seras discarded her twin auto cannons, and stomped on Lady’s Kalina Ann, destroying it.
K.O!
Seras exited her True Vampire state, and was now back in her standard form as Alucard walked in. “..well, I can see that you took care of her.” Alucard said, to which Seras nodded in response.
“You alright, master?” Seras asked, to which Alucard just grinned in response. “Oh you are just a treat” Alucard said, as he took Seras outside of the tower and took a look outside.
A flash of divine light careened down from the distant skies, which was very human shaped and even resembled a certain Goddess of Light , confusing Alucard. “The fuck is that?” Alucard asked, before he and Seras went back to the Hellsing Mansion.
Results[]
Alucard: I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. If it wasn’t for me holding up that beast of a woman I’d fuck the red right out of those eyes.
Wiz: Lady may be a skilled Demon Hunter and marksman, but sadly this was just an uphill battle for her.
Boomstick: While Lady had the experience advantage, that really did two thirds of fuck all against the likes of Seras. Who had the superior physical abilities, and superior arsenal.
Wiz: The Kalina Ann was able to keep up with Seras’ destructive capacity, for a while. Seras also had the Harkonnen I and Harkonnen II to balance things out for her. And once she went True Vampire things went completely downhill
Boomstick: Yeah, like the Shadow Arm being able to tank just about anything Lady can dish out. Even if it couldn’t, Seras’ regeneration would heal the damage in seconds.
Alucard: And I mean, come on. Lady’s rack is great and all, but there’s a reason “Seras” is the Big Titty Police Girl
Boomstick: Lady was just a Mary Jane compared to Seras. Eh? Eh? Anybody get it?
Wiz: ...
Alucard: ..You dun goofed.
Wiz: The winner is, Seras V-
Alucard: Police Girl..POLICE GIIIIRL!