'Scrooge McDuck vs Sid the sloth' is a what-if death battle written by Ishan a.k.a Shall-I. This is his second death battle. Please add thumbnails.
Description[]
Ducktales vs Ice Age! Two comedic animated talking animals whose name starts from 'S' tussle. Who would win?
Interlude[]
Wiz: Animation has provided us with a lot of talking animals.
Boomstick: And these two provide a lot of entertainment!
Wiz: Scrooge McDuck, the richest duck of all time.
Boomstick: And Sid, the klutziest and most hilarious sloth to have lived.
Wiz: For this, we are only analysing cartoon Scrooge, as comic Scrooge would stomp way too hard.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I am Boomstick!!!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win -
Boomstick: A Death Battle!!!
Scrooge McDuck[]
Wiz: From birth, Scrooge McDuck was from a family in poverty. He was the oldest of three sons.
Boomstick: His family worked hard, but they remained poor.
Wiz: When Scrooge turned 10, his father took him to the old McDuck castle to indicate to his son how prosperous the older generations of the McDucks were.
Boomstick: How mad would I be if I went from that to rags!
Wiz: Motivated by what he saw, Scrooge decided to restore his family to that glory. The next day, Scrooge took up the work of a shoe shiner.
Boomstick: Child labour!
Wiz: And so, Scrooge had the first self-learning of his life...a dime.
Boomstick: Wait, who the hell gives a labouring kid in rags just a dime?!?
Wiz: It gets worse, Boomstick. This was an American dime so it couldn't be used in Scotland.
Boomstick: SERIOUSLY, asshole.
Wiz: Well, this just made the duckling tougher.
Scrooge: This should be a lesson! Life is filled with tough jobs, and there will always be sharpies to cheat me! Well, I will be tougher than the toughies, and sharper than the sharpies, and I will make my money square!
Boomstick: Years later, Scrooge heard legends of a golden egg. So he set out on a quest to hunt it down. After a lot of adventuring, and fighting with rivals, McDuck found the egg. He sold it and began rolling in dough.
Wiz: After some more quests and adventures, Scrooge McDuck became the richest duck in the world!
Boomstick: Lucky guy.
Wiz: Over the years, though, Scrooge went down a path of greed and selfishness. When old, he was an extremely stingy and mean jerk and would price money over anything else.
Boomstick: To be fair, which ridiculously rich guy wouldn't?
Wiz : *Sigh*, you will never change, Boomstick. Anyways, one day Scrooge's nephew Donald Duck left his uncle with the old boy's grandnephews Huey, Duey and Louie. Although reluctant, Scrooge took them in.
Boomstick: It took a while, but eventually Scrooge's heart softened, and he became significantly kinder and more selfless. Not selfless, of course, but better than before. He really began to place family before wealth. Like the never-different Disney story ending, everyone lived happily ever after.
Wiz: At 3 feet tall and 20 pounds in weight, Scrooge is beyond comparison to the capabilities of your average duck. He's got superhuman strength, superhuman speed and superhuman durability.
Boomstick: He can chuck boulders several yards away, break wood easily, overpower much bigger and buffer heavyweights with ease and even bend metal! He can beat the crap out of bars full of people, and can even tackle bulls!!!
Wiz: Scrooge can outrun cars and wild animals. He is also very agile and athletic.
Boomstick: And his durability! He can survive being crushed, beaten up, set ablaze, shocked, and more! He also regularly dives into and swims in his mountains of gold without any injuries! He enjoys it, in fact.
Wiz: Scrooge is also very smart. He can make up complicated and very impressive plans quickly. His aggression can provide a lot of ferocity in a tussle.
Boomstick: And his weapons! My favourite part!
Wiz: Scrooge's most trusty piece of defence is his cane. Not that he really needs it...
Boomstick: Yeah, so? He can do awesome stuff with that thing! He can use it as a club, mace, a swinging stick and much more! And the best of the lot is using it like a pogo stick!
Wiz: Scrooge has an ancient sword which belonged to his forefathers. He can use it very effectively in battle. He also has a shovel, a pickaxe, a boomerang, a rope and a bowie knife.
Boomstick: And his guns! He has a revolver, a double-barrelled shotgun, a Winchester M1876, a dual Colt, 0.45 Peacemakers, and a laser pen. But by far, his most powerful gun is the burglar stunner. Don't let its name fool you! It can penetrate solid steel!
Wiz: Scrooge's most bizarre guns are the Neutro-friction and Anti-inertia guns. These temporarily erase most friction and inertia of the target. The former gun can make one slide helplessly for miles without stopping. The latter gun can make one's blows feel like taps.
Boomstick: And due to his age and adventurous life, this dude has a ton of fighting experience! He can easily beat much younger people.
Wiz: But Scrooge does have some weaknesses.
Boomstick: To start off, Scrooge is short-tempered and overly aggressive. I guess I can understand where Donald gets his temper from.
Wiz: While this is only a small weakness, Scrooge is old. So he isn't quite as strong as he was in his younger days.
Boomstick: And while he is nicer than before, he is still pretty greedy and rather selfish.
Scrooge: Well, you do realise if you give money to the poor, they won't be poor anymore, will they?
Wiz: And despite being a duck, Scrooge can't fly. Not that he is disabled, no duck in the Mickey Mouse universe can fly.
Boomstick: But this is one old duck whose money you don't wanna steal!
Scrooge is riding a modified motorcycle with cannons.
Scrooge: Call the ambulance, nephews, a lot of people will need it!
Sid[]
Wiz: 20,000 years ago, the time of the Ice Age. A period of tough times. Thousands of animal species adapted to the crisis and lived normally.
Boomstick: And those species sure were badass! From large creatures like buffaloes to predators like sabre-toothed cats to behemoths like mammoths! What I wouldn't give to visit that place and time for adventure!
Wiz: One particular animal though...wasn't so tough and badass. He was an utter klutz whose clumsiness and incompetence rivals that of Boomstick.
Boomstick : Hey, I am not incompetent!
Wiz: Due to his tiresome nature, his family kept making attempts to abandon him. And eventually, they succeeded.
Boomstick: What's the deal with all these assholes being mentioned?
Wiz: This guy was a sloth named Sidney, usually shortened to 'Sid'.
Boomstick: The way 'Wizard' is usually shortened to 'Wiz'.
Wiz: Naturally, Sid was pretty upset.
Sid: Doesn't anybody love me? Doesn't anybody care for Sid the sloth?
Boomstick: The dumbass sloth ended up screwing up as usual, and pissed off two rhinos.
Wiz: Well, actually they were Brontotheres. They were bigger than rhinos and their horns were made of bone, not keratin. In reality, they died out long before the Ice -
Boomstick: Enough, Wiz, enough.
Wiz: Anyways, this turned out to be a blessing in disguise though, as Sid ran into his soon to be the best buddy Manfred "Manny" the mammoth. Although the mammoth was reluctant to intervene in anything due to the recent tragic killing of his wife and calf at the hands of humans, he agreed to help Sid.
Manny literally grabs Carl by his horn using his trunk, swings him around and hurls him several yards away. He also scoops up Frank using his tusks and casually flings him. Frank crashes right onto Carl.
Boomstick: Hey whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Show that again.
The same clip is played in fast speed
Boomstick: STUPID!
Wiz: Despite the mammoth's immense reluctance, Sid followed him. By the way, the depressed Manny was heading North, not South like the other animals.
Boomstick: The next day, the two animals came upon a nearly drowned woman. The woman handed her baby to the creatures, indicating to return the child to his tribe, then passed away.
Wiz: Manny didn't want to rescue the baby, but Sid insisted.
Sid: She's gone.
Manny turns and begins to walk away.
Sid: Hey, hey, wait, wait, aren't you forgetting something?
Manny: I am still trying to get rid of the last thing I saved.
Boomstick: Asshole again. Anyways, needless to say, Sid wasn't gonna listen to that.
Wiz: Then this mysterious sabre-toothed cat named Diego came upon them. He agreed to help them return the baby to it's "herd". In truth, Diego was sent by his pack leader Soto to bring the baby alive. The cats wished to have revenge on the human tribe for hunting some of the pack by eating the baby. Sid was suspicious of Diego from the start, but believed Diego just wanted to eat him. Manny wasn't so wary.
Sid: The bad tigey-wigey gets left behind. Poor tiger-wigey.
Manny: Sid, "tigey-wigey" is gonna lead the way.
Boomstick: The trio had many awesome adventures. In one volcanic eruption, Manny saved Diego. Moved by this, Diego slowly reformed. He revealed his true plans to Sid and Manny. Together, they defeated Soto's pack. Eventually, they returned the baby to his tribe and remained best friends.
Wiz: There are five whole Ice Age movies so we won't go into their stories.
Boomstick: Thank God. And speaking of the franchise, the last two movies were such a disappointment! The space thing was the worst.
Wiz: At an estimated 4 - 4.5 feet tall, Sid is actually quite different from real prehistoric ground sloths, whose size among the species could range from that of rhinos to elephants. Also, real ground sloths had a short, stocky neck and a horse-like head. As you can see here, Sid clearly isn't like that.
Boomstick: In the strength category, Sid isn't extremely good. In fact, he can often show how physically weak he is. However, at times he pulls off some impressive strength feats. Like the time he carried around, sometimes while running, not one, not two, but three huge T-Rex eggs.
Wiz: It's the same with speed. Sometimes he is humiliatingly slow, whereas, in emergencies, he can race impressively. Like when he chased after the three T-Rex eggs rolling down a hill. And like when he outran two rhinos...twice. He also outran an enraged bull muskox.
Boomstick: Sid is pretty athletic. He is an expert climber, partly due to those claws, which he can use in combat. Sid is agile enough to leap from branch to branch dodging T-Rex bites. And that head! It can actually support Sid's head while climbing and can help him stand in a fix. And when Sid falls from a height, he always lands on his head and does a headstand. This is strong enough to break the ice. That's actually pretty awesome.
Wiz: But Sid's greatest tool in a fight is his incredible durability. Sid can recover from the fire quickly. He can shrug off the pain when he hits his head on a rock hard, or when he falls on his head. Sid has even survived being crushed under Manny's 10-11 ton weight multiple times and being sent flying dozens of feet into a tree branch by a very oversized T-Rex 80 feet long. His most impressive durability feat is when he survived a small meteorite crash-landing in front of him.
Boomstick: Sid also is very stinky and filthy. This is due to his great dislike of baths, which he rarely has.
Wiz: Sid rarely gets mad, but when he gets angry enough, he can enter some unnamed rage mode.
Boomstick: For some weird reason, this state was only shown once. But that scene sure was awesome! He easily beat the crap out of 30-40 dodos in a fight!
Wiz: But Sid has some big flaws. While he can show off cool strength and speed feats at times, he usually isn't all that impressive. Like when he literally got worn out dragging a stick.
Boomstick: Sid also isn't the smartest guy around. He can be pretty dumb, which has been shown a few times. Well, he's not unintelligent, but he's not so smart either. And like we said, Sid is incredibly clumsy. He's fallen underground by standing on thin ice, tripped over things, broken his own ice statue, had a clamshell close painfully on his fingers, made Geotopia collapse and even accidentally created the Grand Canyon, we could write a whole book noting down all of his screw ups.
Wiz: Sid also isn't aggressive enough. He just doesn't leave his overly forgiving nature and takes beatings. Basically, Sid isn't really a fighter.
Boomstick: But when you see that this sloth can face up to a pissed off mother T-Rex, you know he's not to be underestimated!
Sid: Hey! These are my kids!
Momma Rex snorts, a bit confused.
Sid: And you will have to go through me to get them!
Intermission[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a death battle!!!
Death Battle[]
No one knows where this time portal came from. But it did come. It was a connection between two really different worlds...
Location: Herd valley
Sid the sloth was looking for his herd. They had been roaming together, but Sid screwed up (as usual), and got lost.
Sid: Guys? Guys? Call back to me! Manny? Diego? Ellie? Crash? Eddie?
He looked at the hills. Nothing there. He looked in the gorge. Nothing there. Then he looked at the nearby bushes. Nothing the - wait. Was there some light behind the bushes? Curiously, Sid walked through the bushes.
Sid: Wow!
A large ring of light with a hole in the middle glowed in front of him. Losing caution, Sid walked towards the ring. He touched it and put his hand through the hole...
Location: Duckberg
Scrooge McDuck was returning home from beating up the Beagle Boys in a bar.
Scrooge: Those Beagle Boys! They were villains and proud of it!
Meanwhile, Sid had crawled through the window of a really fancy house. One could clearly see it belonged to someone very rich.
Sid: Strange valley this is. I have never seen such huts and paths. And the animals were actually wearing clothes like those humans!
In the process of exploring the house, Sid ended up clumsily smashing flowerpots and other things and knocking over some chairs.
Sid: Oops! But they wouldn't really mind, whoever they are.
Finally, he entered the bathroom. For once, he decided to have a bath. And he really enjoyed it when he accidentally turned on the hot shower and when he figured out what the soap was for. He didn't know baths could be so soothing -
Crash!
Sid was startled. He turned around and saw a furious old duck in red clothes and a cane in hand sneering at the wet, filthy and soap-covered sloth.
Scrooge: A jackass of a weird creature wrecking things in my house and using the shower! Out of here, laddie!
Sid: Oh, sorry. Looks like you have had a bad day. What have you been doing?
Scrooge: I accidentally walked through some kind of hole to the Ice Age and did some egg hunting. Then I beat up some -
Hearing this, Sid was shocked. This duck had hunted some creatures in his homeland? And what had happened to Sid's friends, from whom he was separated? He had to stop this madman.
Sid: Before you continue that, you must deal with me, duck!
Scrooge was unfazed.
Scrooge: Well, you shouldn't mess with me, laddie!
Sid bent his knees slightly, put forward his fists and showed his claws. He hated fighting, but he needed to somehow save his friends. Scrooge meanwhile, got into a fighting stance with his cane.
Fight![]
Scrooge used his cane as a pogo stick and bounced towards Sid. Midair, he brought the cane above his head and pulled it back, preparing to use it as a club this time.
Sid: Wow, that's cool -
Whack!
Sid got knocked out by a blow to the head. He slipped on the wet, soapy bottom of the tub, flew into the air - or rather, the still on shower, and landed in the tub, Scrooge beside him. Scrooge began to fiercely beat the crap out of Sid, as Sid yowled in pain.
Sid: Ow, ow, that hurts!
Quickly, Sid picked up the soap and socked Scrooge between the eyes. The soap's foam entered the duck's eyes.
Scrooge: Argh!
Scrooge stumbled about and slipped and fell next to Sid. The mammal took advantage of this and got to his feet. He stepped on the side of the tub and attempted to jump out...but slipped on the soapy foam and flew into the air.
Sid: Help!
Sid landed back in the tub. Scrooge, drenched by now, had managed to clear his eyes. He used his cane to whack Sid's butt. Sid cried comedically in pain, then bounded out of the tub. Scrooge turned off the shower and followed his opponent. After leaving the bathroom, he looked around. But the sloth was nowhere to be seen.
Scrooge: Well, he's gone. Let me dry up.
The old bird towelled himself off and changed his clothes. He then walked under a chandelier...on which Sid was sitting. The sloth heaved a quite sigh of relief...until the chandelier creaked. Scrooge looked up, hearing the noise, and saw his rival. Angrily, Scrooge began jumping at Sid, trying to hit him with his cane. Then he hurled his cane like a boomerang and had a successful hit on his target. Sid swayed around, causing the chandelier to fall with him. The whole thing had a terrific and shattering crash on the ground, which Scrooge dodged.
Scrooge: Now look at what you have done! I am not going to pay for the damages! I WILL CRUSH YOU!!!
Sid scampered towards a door. Scrooge, however, was much faster and caught up effortlessly. He tackled Sid and whacked him with his cane. But Sid managed to get up. Scrooge was holding on to Sid's shoulders and ended up being lifted up. With surprising strength, Sid managed to throw the pesky waterfowl over his shoulders, but not before receiving a few punches to the head and back.
Sid then kicked Scrooge towards the door. He then opened the door and ran outside...and found himself in midair.
Sid: Aaahhh!
Sid landed hard on the mountain of gold and money on his head, doing a headstand for a couple of seconds before falling on his back. Scrooge casually dived into the wealth after his opponent and literally began swimming in it, mesmerised by his beloved treasure. Then he got back to the fight and punched Sid in the belly.
Sid: Ow!
McDuck began a series of punches and kicks upon the sloth. Knowing he had to escape, Sid grabbed Scrooge's cane. Scrooge wasn't prepared, and as Sid forcefully pulled the cane up, the duck was sent flying a few feet away. Grabbing his chance, Sid squeezed his way under all the gold and began swimming away. Using the noise Sid was making, Scrooge followed.
Scrooge: Someone call the ambulance. This rascal will need it pretty soon!
Sid finally made it out of the gold and began to run for it. He ran out of the house and onto the road. Finally, he reached a wood.
??? : Hey laddie!
Sid gulped and looked back to see Scrooge...charging towards him...on a bull.
Sid: HELP!!!
Screaming, Sid tried to run for his money, but the bull was easily gaining on him. Just then, Sid spotted a large moose. Panting, Sid reached him.
Sid: A little help?
Without waiting for an answer, the prehistoric creature climbed onto the moose's back. He then directed the behemoth towards the raging bull and bird duo. The two beasts bashed heads, and both staggered back. As they charged again, Scrooge tossed a rope tied into a lasso towards Sid. The sloth was caught. But as he was tugged forward, he caught the moose's antlers.
Sid: Aaahhh!
Scrooge was jerked off the bull and flew through the air. He crashed to the ground as the bull ran away out of control.
Before Sid could do anything, Scrooge zapped him with the Neutro-friction gun. Sid slid off the moose and helplessly slipped for a considerable distance before crashing into a tree. As he slowly got to his feet, he saw the time portal again. Quickly, he crawled through it and found himself back in the Ice Age.
Sid: Finally!
As he walked away from the portal, he suddenly felt sheer pain in his left leg. Screaming, Sid fell to the ground. He looked at his foot and found a bowie knife next to it. Sid's foot was bleeding. As he looked up, he saw Scrooge having entered through the portal.
Scrooge took out his double-barrelled shotgun and shot in the air. Some terrified birds flew in all directions. Seeing this, Sid remembered how he wanted to stop Scrooge from being a threat to his homeland.
Sid: You know, there are leagues between you and the rest of the world.
Scrooge: There are leagues between your mental state and the world too!
Sid was angry now. His eyes shut halfway. He began running towards Scrooge, roaring pathetically. Scrooge was taken aback by Sid's berserker mode and was sent flying by a hard punch to the face. Sid kicked Scrooge again. He then prepared to strike the fallen duck yet again -
BANG!!!
Sid tumbled to the ground, bleeding profusely. Scrooge stood, gun smoking in hand. The old boy walked over to his seriously wounded nemesis.
Scrooge: Well, you shouldn't have messed with me, laddie!
Scrooge grabbed Sid's tail, started spinning him around and with all the strength he could muster, threw him into the air. As Sid flew, Scrooge pulled out the Burglar Stunner and pressed the trigger. A deadly ray was zapped out, and as soon as it hit Sid, blood splattered terrifically in the air.
Sid dropped to the ground, dead. Scrooge walked off through the time portal. As if the thing was created just to set up a fight, it closed immediately.
K.O!!![]
- Scrooge went home and began swimming in his sea of gold.
- Sid's friends were taken aback with horror and distress when they walked past the spot where he had kicked the bucket.
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: Aw, come on! ANOTHER curb stomp?
Wiz: Sorry Boomstick, but that's how it had to be. Anyways, pretty much every category was won by Scrooge in spades.
Boomstick: In strength, Sid may be able to carry around three T-Rex eggs. But Scrooge can fling boulders, bend metal and tackle bulls!
Wiz: Meaning Scrooge would have no trouble overpowering him.
Boomstick: And that cane's sure gonna hurt!
Wiz: In speed, Sid may be able to keep up with eggs rolling down a hill. But Scrooge can outrun vehicles and big cats! So Sid would have a really hard time dodging Scrooge's attacks. In return, Scrooge would be able to do the same thing with ease.
Boomstick: Scrooge was also certainly smarter. I mean, we are talking about a genius businessman...er...businessbird being pitted against a sloth famous for stupidity! Also, Sid's durability may be impressive. He can survive catching on fire and even a freaking meteorite crashing not so far away in front of him! Unfortunately for the sloth, his opponent has survived things a lot worse than that. So Sid's already low and weak weaponry won't really hurt Scrooge.
Wiz: Speaking of weaponry, Scrooge's knife, axe or guns would be more than enough to kill Sid with a couple of hits. In fact, Scrooge's weapons could have just one-shot Sid with a good hit. And considering Scrooge's immense skills, that could very well happen.
Boomstick: Also, Scrooge had massively more fighting experience. He has been adventuring for a hundred years, while Sid is much younger and to top that off, rarely fights.
Wiz: And Scrooge's fierce temper and aggression could definitely best Sid.
Boomstick: Seriously, what do you expect? Sid lacks aggression, lacks fighting skills and basically just isn't a fighter. He's...pretty much just a soft and silly comedy machine.
Wiz: Sid's durability would keep him going for a while, but it just wasn't enough. Overall, old McDuck actually had to be nerfed just to make the fight fair.
Boomstick: Looks like Sid really should have ducked this battle.
Wiz: The winner is Scrooge McDuck.
Advantages and Disadvantages[]
Scrooge McDuck (winner)[]
+ Pretty much everything
- Being old, a little weaker than him in his younger days
Sid the sloth (loser)[]
+ Durability would keep him going for a while
- Pretty much everything
Polls[]
Trivia[]
Next time[]
Boomstick: You know Wiz, our first two fights have both been curb stomps. This is boring.
Wiz: Don't worry, Boomstick. Our third fight will be much closer. We will have...