Which Arrogant Agent who thinks there Better than everyone else will come out on top, The Fast Boston boy from TF2 The Scout, or The Snarky Not so Sharp Shooter Church from Red vs Blue. (First Episode of Mr.Trees Death Battle Season)
Intro[]
Wiz: When you work as a team theres always a higher chance of success then working alone. And theres no I in Teamwork
Boomstick: Well Wiz, these guys must be spelling Teamwork completely wrong. Cause they think compared to there Teammates that their the Cream of the Crop
Wiz: Our First arrogant A-Hole is Scout. Surveillance operative from TF2 Hailing from Boston And always ready for a Rumble
Boomstick: And the Not so Sharp shooter, Leonard L. Church or Church. Fighting as a Blue member in Blood Gulch
Wiz: We will compare there Weapons, Stats, and there Overfilled Egos
Boomstick: To see who would win a Death Battle
The Scout[]
Boomstick: Ahh Boston, the home of multiple drug addicts and I assume the word alcoholism comes from
Wiz: And more notably, Birth place of TF2s Scout
Boomstick: He was the youngest of 8 boys, And these boys were always picking up fights in their neighborhood
Wiz: Jeremy(The Scouts true name) wasnt the strongest of his Brothers and always missed the chance to have a Rumble, so he thought of an idea to partake in these fights
Boomstick: Instead of strength he practiced his track skills so he could beat his brothers to the fight before they could get there
Wiz: When the Scout grew up he became even faster and by converting hammer Units to feet it comes out to 1 foot=16 hammer units which once adding this to scouts in game running speed it comes out to 29 mph
Boomstick: thats six miles faster than USAIN BOLT, this means in the real world Scout is the fastest human
Wiz: Scout would become a Mercenary when he became older working with a group of other Mercs, they called themselves Teamfortress
Boomstick: They were hired by Redmond/Blutarch mann to fight over gravel in the so called Gravel wars.
Wiz: These wars took place in middle America or The Badlands, location of Mannco
Boomstick: Mannco is a huge supply chain funding the on going gravel wars with weaponry and all sorts of other gadgets
Wiz: The Reason we tell you this is to give you an idea of Scouts loadout and how massive it is, Mannco has supplied scout with 21 diffrent weapons(not even including reskins)
Boomstick: He has weaponry that completely changes how he attacks his enemys such as Boston Basher which can give an enemy a bleeding affect
Wiz: Or give him even more movement options, if his double jumping wasnt enough for you, with the atomizer he can jump three times and with the Soda Popper he can jump even more times when getting full Hype
Boomstick: But one of his most powerful weapons isnt even a weapon, its a drink
Wiz: The Bonk! Atomic Punch is an unlockable secondary weapon for the Scout which after drinking increases Scouts speed massively
Boomstick: After drinking Bonk! Scout can stand in front of a Fully Revved Minigun and dodge each bullet
Wiz: A Minigun can shoot 100 rounds per second and Bonk! last 5 seconds
Boomstick: That means the Scout can dodge 500 rounds point blank! That makes the Scout insanely fast, MACH 120
Wiz: With this much speed, it makes sense to have a decent sized ego but Scouts Ego is massive, it usually gets him in situations that he cant get out without his team, and he dislikes any help mostly from spy
Boomstick: And Spy may or may not be Scouts father, kinda reminds me of my own absent father
Wiz:...
Boomstick: Anyway, Scout can also dish out a beating, hes strong enough to Hit the big ole Heavy way higher than the buildings
Wiz: He can even take hits from Heavy who could stop a train from hitting the Red base
Boomstick: Though extremely Egotistical, that Ego is there for a reason as Scout is one fast and annoying son of a gun
Church[]
Wiz: Private Leonard L. Church is the angry leader of the Blue team fighting against the Reds at Blood Gulch
Boomstick: Church is a wise cracking arrogant AI from the Freelancer Project
Wiz: Church is, arguably, the most sane out of the Blood Gulch soldiers. He was shown to be somewhat serious about his job and was completely astonished by the crazy happenings around the canyon.
Boomstick: Just because hes somewhat sane doesnt make him any less annoying
Wiz: A reason he could be so rude is that he dies, like alot
Boomstick: Dont worry though he seems to come back every time for the most part
Wiz: Hes armed with a Sniper Rifle
Boomstick: Though its mostly for observation, as Church is a terribly poor shot
Wiz: He unloaded a entire magazine on a unsuspecting guard and missed every single shot from a foot away
Boomstick: He has incredible strong armor, being able to survive huge explosions
Wiz: Its also taken hits from people who can lift tanks with ease
Boomstick: Church was later revealed to be Alpha, the original artificial intelligence program created by Project Freelancer.
Wiz: Church is revealed to be based on the personality of the former Director of Project Freelancer, Dr. Leonard Church
Boomstick: Wow Dr. Church must of been a douche
Wiz: Churchs armor has survived a Bomb that was 10 megatons
Boomstick: Jesus, with armor like that its weird how he dies a lot
Wiz: He has some other weapons too
Boomstick: Like the Magnum
Wiz: And a Sub Machine gun, and possibly some Grenades as units with a lower rank then his do
Boomstick: I dont know why Blue team even bother giving him weapons though, he much more competent with his hands
Wiz: Well thats not really saying much
Boomstick: Private Church is annoying and a poor shot, but he truly does care about his team
Wiz: Even though he rarely shows it
Pre-Fight[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!
Church and Caboose are walking into a supply base with multiple boxes and crates around him. The Dry ground beneath there feat, Caboose keeps talking to Church and Church is getting a little annoyed.
"So Caboose, why dont you go out and keep watch, while I go find the Intelligence that was stolen by those Reds" Tells Caboose. "Mmm, ok"
Caboose leaves "Finally some peace and Quite" whispers Church as he starts to walk forward again. He turns the corner and sees a man with a briefcase
"Eh, Miss Pauling. I got the Intel when are you coming to get it" Says Scout
"Not anytime soon" says Miss Pauling though his earpiece. Scout angerly turns around to see Church aiming up a shot and pulling the trigger
BANG
"You missed" Scout says smugly
"Ya, Ya, I know" Says Church regrettably
"Ok, lets do this" Says Scout as he pulls out his bat
Death Battle[]
Scout sprints at Church and hits him over the head with his bat, Church barely flinches at it and grabs the bat and uppercuts Scout in the belly knocking him into some boxes. He gets up and starts unloading his magazine in his pistol at the AI. Though knocking him back a few times Church seems to be walking through it fine
"Thats not even remotely fair" Scout Remarks
"Alls fair in love in war" Church Tells Scout
Scout pulls out a pan and hits Church in the groin. We zoom out to Caboose after hearing a Girly Scream. He barely seems to care
"Not cool, not cool" Says Church, Scout then hits Church in the head with the Pan 3 times. Before he can hit again Church rolls over and grabs his SMG and Starts shooting, Scout starts running around the boxes while not even closely getting hit with a bullet. Scout takes cover behind some boxes. He grabs the flying guillotine and throws it at Church. It Ricochets like a tennis ball of the armor.
"No idea why I thought that would work" Whispers Scout. Church lifts up the supply crate that Scout was hiding behind. He trys to crush Scout under the box but Scout does a backflip away and pulls out the force of nature, he pulls the trigger on it and all pellets connect with Churches armor and it whips Church back into a box and dust fogs around him
"Didnt expect that" says Church and pulls out his Magnum as they slowly at eachother.
"Put down the gun, and no one gets hurt, well... might not get hurt" Church tells Scout
"You cant hit Sh*t, Chucklenuts" Scout laughs at Church
Both people stay silent for a solid few seconds until Church shoots
He misses Scout but hits his gun, launching it backwards as it flys though the air, we zoom back out and the gun hits Caboose in the head. He Barely notices
"YES, I DEFINETLY MEANT TO DO THAT" Yells Church Happily. Scout just pulls out a Scattergun
"How many Weapons do you have, how do they fit in your pockets?" Asked Church
"I have... no idea" yells Scout with a little dance. Church starts shooting the Magnum missing every single shot while Scout Shoots his Scattergun hitting every shot but it doesnt really do anything but knock him back a little. Both run out of ammo and pull out a new gun. Church with his Sniper Rifle, and Scout with the Soda Popper and activates the Hype and starts jumping around making it impossible for Church to aim up.
"damn, Hope you like bombs" says Church as he throws a Grenade. Church not paying attention gets startled when Scout hit it back and lands right next to Church.
Scout and Church look at eachother with the same astonished face
"Uh, oh" Says both Combatants
It Explodes and we zoom out again and Caboose just itches the back of his head paying no attention behind him. Both Scout and Church, both injured try to get up, Scout pulls out Bonk! and drinks it. Church trys to pull out a weapon but gets speed blitz and knocked back down. Scout drinks some CritaCola and drinks it.
In one finale attempt Church trys to hit Scout with a Energy Sword but Scout turns around and hits him with his bat knocking him into the air and hits the ground hard.
Scout pulls pulls out a pistol and aims it at Churchs head
"Your freaking dead kiddo" says Scout
"Woundnt be the first time" Church grunts
BANG!
K.O
Results[]
Boomstick: Dang, kinda was hoping they both die
Wiz: This Match was actually very close, their stats counter each other perfectly
Boomstick: Oh yeah, Scout would have a hard time getting any damage off thanks to Churchs armor
Wiz: And Church with his bad aim and Scouts speed would make it very hard to even touch Scout
Boomstick: So the winner would be the person who could find a chance to get some real damage off
Wiz: And thats where we gave the win to Scout, first off all he has almost infinite stamina so Church couldnt just wait and hope Scout would run out of Energy anytime soon
Boomstick: And with his Speed Scout could find a way to remove the Armor or damage it enough for it to break
Wiz: You might be wondering how would Scout be able to break the armor when its survived a 10 megaton bomb
Boomstick: Well that same armor gets damaged by bullets and hand to hand combat
Wiz: And Scouts has multiple weapons to keep Church on his Toes while Church has 3 at best 4 different weapons. Hes also has more experience with fighting weirder and different enemys as hes been fighting wacky mercs for a way longer time
Boomstick: And Church would have a problem using his brute strength because he would have to get close to Scout, and Scout is really Fast so... you know, not happening
Wiz: So though very close, Scouts speed gave him everything he needed to win this fight, though most TF2 Mercs would lose to these RvB tanks Scout is the exception thanks to his insane speed with or without Bonk!
Boomstick: Even if Church PRAYED to the lord, not even he could kill this SpeedDEMON
Wiz: The Winner is The Scout
Stats[]
Winner[]
Scout
+Speed (Movement and Reaction)
+ Versatility
+Better Aim
+Fighting Experience
=Fighting Skill
-Weaker
-Less durable
-Dumber
Loser[]
Church
+Strength
+Durability
+Intelligence
=Fighting Skill
-Slower (Movement and reaction)
-less Versatility
-Poor aim
-Less experience
Score[]
Next Time[]
We see a faint light, it gets closer and we see that the light is surrounded by some mansions wood walls. As the light gets even closer we can see that its Luigi with a flashlight
“Mama mia”
The screen turns of like a old Television screen
”Dumb Dog, you made me look bad”
“OOGA BOOGA BOOGA”
Courage screams and runs away